Not before time

The official death toll from the Chinese plague over the last winter is about the same as for flu, the NHS reckons. No doubt there will be something equally dreadful along in a decade or so.

Making themselves popular

One of the things that will vanish from our lives when the railway unions throw their summer wobbly will be beer, we have been assured. That’s going to buy the strikers a lot of support. Not.

What a plank

It’s rather surprising to see the boss of the Metropolitan Police telling London’s cosmetic mayor to get his nose out of the partygate alleged investigations. But definitely something that needed doing.
    Pity that Khan bloke isn’t interested in real crime, like people sticking knives into others on his patch.

Virtue Before Brains

Every household in England & Wales is getting £400 off energy bills, the Chancellor has announced. To be paid in 6 equal instalments—i.e. £66.66666 per month from October to March. If he’d made it £420, that would have been 6 payments of £70. Or 5 payments would have been £80 each. But what we have is another example of a politician creating a mess through not thinking things through.

Pertinent Quotation:

“The British government’s policy of crippling the economy with green bollocks cuts in carbon dioxide emissions is like a marathon runner cutting off one of his legs and being surprised when no one else in the race does the same.”

All Italian

The front of the grid was all Italians on Ducatis for the 23 lap MotoGP event. Didn’t stay like that! Espargaro crashed on lap 5 but rejoined. Bezzecchi was the early leader. Mir gone then Rins.
    Bagnaia pulled a bit of a gap at the front and stayed there for his first win here. Bastianini went out with 10 laps to go. Quateraro was a fairly close 2nd at the finish and Espargaro did magnificently to claim 3rd. Marc Marquez was 10th and he’s off for surgery for his painful injuries.

Really rotten tomato

And the award for the Daftest Gunplay of All Time goes to Equilibrium (2002). It’s a daft sciffy film that reaches truly extraordinary depths of totalitarian daftness.

More action

Sam Lowes was with the leaders for 21 laps of Moto2. Lots more sunshine in Italy than here. The first crash came on lap 5. Another gone at the last corner with 11 to go, and another at the same place a lap later.
    Acosta & Canet were at the front; until Canet pushed too hard and came off. Sam Lowes was crashed out by his team mate with 3 to go. Boooo!
    Acosta was 4 seconds ahead of the rest at the line for his first Moto2 win.

Inflation, inflation

The much-hyped Sue Grey report has one moan about one Downing Street minion boozing enough to make himself sick. And yet the usual suspects would have us believe the entire crew of a factory-size workplace was up-chucking round the clock. So much for honesty & truth in reporting.

One of the best

The Italian Moto3 race is at Mugello, named after the famous local mug factory. One guy was crashed off from the grid! 3 bikes off the front on lap 1/20, but not for long. The 6th place man crashed out on lap 10, also Foggia, who hit a damp patch(?), from the lead and his bike went right across the track and through the pack!
    Six left in a lead group, joined by Suzuki, who rejoined after doing a long lap penalty. It was a photo finish with Guevara going across the line first but being dumped behind Garcia on a penalty. Suzuki 3rd. Phew!

See ya, mate!

Are we really bothered that the incoming Australia PM is in favour of swapping out Queen as head of state for some ghastly sponger of a president? Not really. And now he’s in a position to do it, the bloke himself has admitted it’s not on his ‘to do right away’ list. He’s just a plastic republican.

Yes, it clunks

Admiral Picard as Bosley in another Chuck’s Angels epic from 2019? Bit of a demotion. Subtlety was definitely off the table in this film, which made Bosley retire at 85 and turned his name into a job title. Crap music track.

Now I know!

I’ve just read an interesting explanation of why the credit ratings outfit Standard & Poor’s has such an uninspiring name. It’s a reflection of their having to deal with customers who are bog standard and piss-poor.

Weather comes from outer space

Something I learnt from the daft Doomsday film – when it snows, that’s the black hole at the centre of the galaxy getting restless.

Bozoid, or what!!

Good grief! Sky has a Harry Potter channel where mugs can start at 8:35 a.m. and waste a whole day into tomorrow watching all the films.

Who bribed them to make this one?

“This theory is the only one that makes any sense,” was offered during 2021: Doomsday (2008), a daft sciffy film.
    Really? The ludicrous notion that the gravity of the black hole at the centre of our galaxy is affecting Earth? There are not enuff bollocks in the universe to throw at this one!
    Even worse, the film has a totally daft & naff & crap fizzle-out ending. Garbage Rating 11/10.

Truth hurts

The boss of the Met has had to remind the looney left that the partygate waste of £460K was all about looking for breaches of the plague regulations, not examples of bad behaviour. And the bottles in the photographs which have got the looneys so excited don’t constitute breaches of the law.
    How disappointed the looneys must be to be deprived of more trivia to yell about.

Not convinced

“Better for the planet” – Translation; Do not believe anything they tell you in this advert as they are trying to con you into going on a guilt trip in their favour.

Just get rid

I see (or rather hear) they haven’t shot the dom-diddy bloke who does the LV insurance ads yet. I wonder why? Biggest off-putter on TV. After Sir Starmer and Deputy Rayner, of course.

Some have managed

I have been assured that there are people getting the old state pension who, for years, have been spending a big enough chunk of their income on heating and lighting to make the official fuel poverty threshold of 10% of income look highly desirable rather than terrifying.
    It’s amazing what some can do if pushed.

Good idea

Bringing back the Tory Torch of Liberty logo from the Thatcher era to replace Dave the Leader’s naff tree would be a great idea if it’s accompanied by ditching the rash of vexatious green taxes, which take money off people and offer nothing of value in return.

Money for no rope at all

DVLA staff are copping for bonuses, even though they are skiving at home and not issuing/renewing driving licences. No doubt they’ll be in line for even bigger ones if they have to turn their not issuing licences act on drug-users.

Interesting objection

The government shouldn’t take driving licences and passports away from persisent drug users as this would target the middle classes unfairly and do nothing to lower class druggies. That’s what we’re being told, anyway.

Bummer!

The film guide said there was a really great film on the Great! Movies channel and went to town on telling us how brilliant it is.
    But when I switched on for it, G!M was showing something else. So it was The Predator (2018) and its naff global warming swindle message instead of John T. Revolting.

Real achievement

The smirking Scargills leading the rail unions seem to be doing their level best to make themselves and their members as popular as Putin the Poisoner.
    What we need is a reincarnation of Margaret Thatcher to bash them with a handbag and sort them out.
    Preferably, a handbag with a brick in it.

Limitless

How many films like Swarm (2005) have recycled the Jaws script? Anyone who started counting them would probably give up and decide life is just not long enough for such an impossible job.

Additionally

Note to media ladies: it’s not either Team Rooney or Team Vardy. There’s a third option in a sizeable majority: Team Don’t Give A Stuff.

Talking tough

A correspondent who’s old enough to have had the spring booster vaccine for the Chinese plague already reported that he got the Modena brew, which rejoices in the name of Spikevax! If that doesn’t terrify the enemy, nothing will.

Crossword Fake News

Maple syrup is a traditional topping for pancakes? Not for me. Nor for anyone I know.

NOT fit for purpose

Maybe a lawyer like Sir Starmer could give us an opinion on whether the Chief Inspector of Constabulary advising coppers not to arrest thieves constitutes misconduct in a public office.

More unreliability

“What I have written is not made up.” Translation: “The facts were real once – until I bent them out of shape a bit in the interests of making more money for myself.”

Unreliable accuser

Should we be impressed if a bloke in a wig claims in court that a WAG cannot be trusted? Not if he’d doing it only to push cash into the pockets of another WAG. And his own, of course.

Probably

It’s looking more and more like there will have to be a windfall tax on energy companies, just because ‘the people want it’. But will there be anything left to tax, given the amount of time the energy giants are getting to make their excess profits vanish into thin air?

Interesting Question

If Cabinet Office person Sue Grey has been playing politics, as charged, and she failed to do anything about all the boozing that was going on around her, shouldn’t she be for the chop?

Oh, calamity!

No more partying fines for the prime minister. The looney left media must be tearing their collective hair out at this major disaster for their confection industry.

Chronologically Challenged

I’m reading a book about the works of William Heath Robinson by one Susan Grange, who keeps going on about the Art Nouveau style opening up new ways of doing things in an artistic world on the brink of a new millennium.
    A bit premature if Mr. Robinson died in 1944, over half a century before his millennium ended. Like Tony Blair, Ms Grange doesn’t seem to get that the 19th and 20 centuries both belong to the 2nd millennium and the third didn’t start until January 1st, 2001.

Not really trying

If NASA has taken 30 years to grow some horrible-tasting cress in dust brought back from the Moon by the Apollo crews, that’s not much of an achievement. As all the former kids who grew it on a flannel at school are yelling.

Clouds & Cuckoos come away

‘Fix cost of living crunch or lose election’ read the headline. But like Labour, which has a cataclysmic record of mismanaging the nation’s finances, will do any fixing.

Dead Right!

Should a football team’s manager be allowed to boot a vexatious yob who has invaded the pitch to be obnoxious? Oh, yes! Most definitely.

Relentless Logic

Most of the population is obese, which means that most people should be cutting down on eating, which makes the choice between heating and eating quite straightforward.

Easily spotted tripe

A government mouthpiece said ‘the civil service does an outstanding job delivering for the public’.
    Apart from giving them passports, driving licences and all the other stuff?

Just to get it straight

Wagatha Christie is the bird with the plastic boot on her left foot and Wazza is the bloke she boots with the plastic boot.
    Like anyone cares. Turn the page.

Notional food

Large numbers of people who grew cress on a dishcloth at school are unimpressed by NASA taking 30 years to do it using Moon dust.
    Especially if the cress is not particularly tasty.

Another good reason not to want to live in London

The pantomime mayor, Khan, is wasting council taxpayer’s revenue on a drugs commission, which will enjoy lots of freebies as it tries to make a case for legalizing cannabis production. Even though Khan lacks the powers to legalize it himself and do all the local drug gangs a favour.

Proverbially done over

I was amused to read that a bloke got the sack for organising a booze-up in a brewery. Why? Because he was the boss and he did it during a plague lockdown period.
    Maybe if he’d claimed to be the leader of the Labour party he’d have got away with it.

Just a thought

Is that plastic contraption on Wagatha’s foot (a) announcing that she’s a left-footer, i.e. a Roman Catholic? or (b) on the foot she uses for booting the boy Wayne when he goes off the reservation?

Rolling in dosh; in a year or two?

Apparently, the government can get rid of 91,000 civil servants who are no longer doing anything useful now that the Chinese plague is a part of the new normal.
    And if it can also boot the energy companies until they reduce their prices under the threat of a windfall tax; or by using that tax; the Treasury should have enough cash to give us CUTS! in about . . . 2025?

Hard Luck

At first glance, the headline read: “Bank chief families are facing food price apocalypse” and my reaction was: “so is everyone else, and it’s not as if bank bosses are not well paid.”
    Then I noticed the colon after ‘chief’ and realized it was just the governor of the Bank of England, who is paid £530K!!, telling us he’s a chocolate teapot when it comes to doing anything about inflation.

Barrel Spoilers

It must be frustrating for Labour MPs, having to mutter that Tory MPs are all sex offenders after recent events. But if they start yelling it from the rooftops, they know they’ll be reminded, equally loudly, that the stock in trade of Labour is theft, war crimes and lies.

Bank of Ireland Assassins!

One of my neighbours got a shock when he used the ATM at the local Post Office. According to the receipt, the transaction left him with 50 quid in his current account just a week after it had been topped up with his pension.
    He rushed home to fire up his laptop and go to his bank’s website, and he was relieved to find that he hadn’t been robbed and the balance was what it should be.
    We’re all wondering now why the Bank of Ireland is trying to kill off its ATM users by giving them a heart attack.

Russian Reality

I see the skinhead on trial for murder in Ukraine was ordered to plead guilty to get the trial over quickly to reduce the detail of Putin’s war crimes on offer to the media. Do it or your family back home gets it, I imagine he was told.

If this is reality, it sucks!

10 Minutes Gone (2019) is an essay in how bloody useless blokes with guns can be. The bad guys and the cops shot off hundreds of rounds at one another after the bank robbery.
    The bad guys were running around in flak jackets as easy targets and the useless cops couldn’t put a bullet in an arm, leg or head to slow them down.

Where he belongs

That’s a really evil-looking skinhead the courts in Ukraine are doing for the casual murder of one of its citizens. Not much of an advert for the Russian army.

On the nose

What’s her name Sturgeon was claiming that Scotland has a special relationship with the United States. Which ignores the fact that Creaky Joe Bidon comes from a family of IRA supporters and, as has been pointed out, he wouldn’t be able to pick her out of an ID parade if there were just Sturgeon and the Loch Ness monster behind the glass.

How will we manage

The trade union Scargills are insisting that life as we know it will end if the government bins 91,000 space-filling civil servants. In fact, we could probably get away with binning 182,000 of them if the ones left could be relied on to do a fair day’s work for overpay and fancy pensions. And sod the damage to their unions’ bank accounts.

Weird notion

Why would anyone think disorganized thugs are somehow a Good Thing and organized ones are a Bad Thing?
    If riotous thugs invade the streets in ninja costumes and masks, and organized their invasion using social media, they need to be packed off to Rwanda with the illegals. Along with the coppers who just stand idly by and watch the thugs.

Unreasonable Assertion

The Stormont parliament in Ulster isn’t exactly ‘dominated’ by the IRA, as certain journalists would have us believe, if they have less than one-third of the seats.
    Minor minority is closer to the mark. And they have no mandate for, or hope of, doing anything outrageous.

Pointless posturing?

Is revealing that you are ‘not as other men’ something that’s admirable or just getting your distraction and alibi for failure in place?
Discuss.

Better at every viewing

Nothing much on TV, revisited my recording of Jeff Wayne’s version of The War of the Worlds. Yes, it’s brilliant.

Ludicrously wrong, mate

If some Stonewalling campaigner bloke likes to think that bodies are neither mail nor female, they’re just sexless bodies, he’s clearly severely confused and someone we can safely ignore.

Another crashfest

There was a Ducati 1-2 at the front of the grid for 27 laps of MotoGP. Miller went ahead of the barging and bashing. Rins had a spectacular off. Bagnaia took the lead.
    Mir went off on lap 15. Then Martin with a fire. Bastianini took the lead briefly, and regained it for the win after Bagnaia bogged up then crashed with 6 laps to go. Marc Marquez was 6th on an underpowered Honda.

Stayed fine

The 25 laps of Moto2 without Sam Lowes had a crash on lap 1. Arbolino went out on lap 2, Dixon on lap 5. Two more gone on lap 7, then Acosta.
    Fernandez had a big lead with Canet in second. The race was behind them for 3rd, and Chantra won it.

Not fit for purpose

I read that a massive 23% of the population suffer constantly from chronic pain, which tells me there has to be something severely defective about the design of the human body.

Soggy France

The commentators were complaining about a lack of practice crashes before the Moto3 race @ Le Mans in France. Spots of rain on the cameras and the crashes started at the end of lap 1, including Garcia, the series leader.
    Finally a red flag before the end of lap 2 with the comms remembering the shambles the last time there was rain.
    The sun was out for a 14 lap restart, down from 22 laps. Fast vs agile at the front, lots of slick passing without crashes! Foggia led into the last lap but dropped to 3rd then 4th. Garcia managed 7th but Masia was the winner.

Give it a rest

The TRUTH about The Queen and Diana? Who the hell cares after all this time.

Significant change

When I was at university, millions of years ago, being there was all about learning stuff to get a decent degree to make you employable.
    Now, apparently, it’s all about networking with the other inmates for insider trading later on, and grade inflation takes care of the ‘quality’ of the degree.

Not that wonderful

The Mansion cat slept right through the final of the FA Cup. And didn’t miss much. Both Liverpool & Chelsea could put  the ball in the car park but both goals remained the safest places on the planet.
    I was resigning myself to extra time as the second half dragged on goallessly. When they’d played that extra time and go nowhere. I switched over to Channel 5 for the film.
    If they can’t score in regulation time, who cares who wins?

Look it up yourself!

Some lazy sod is asking the Daily Mail’s Answers page why the Oxford debate on King & Country was controversial.
    The full story is readily available on line and in a library. So why did the Mail even think of using the question? Unless it was really desperate.

Good Question

Would you be able to pick your own GP out of an identity parade? someone asked. In my case, the answer to that is a big Nope!

Unfair, but that’s politics

That lady who was locked up for years illegally by the rogue regime in Iran can’t blame the PM for thinking she was a journalist. If he hadn’t made this mistake, the Iranians would have confected another flimsy pretext for locking her up as a bargaining chip. Sure as eggs is eggs.

Shrinkflation

It’s rather a dead giveaway when you open a packet of fancy biscuits and find them in a plastic tray – 7 biscuits with room for 3 more to tell you how big the pack size used to be before they reprinted the weight on the box.

Is it August already?

The amount of press coverage given to the WAG war libel trial is making it feel like the silly season three months early. Life’s too short to get involved with all the details.

Lost cause

It’s amazing how many people with a vested interest are making the ludicrous claim that the IRA won the Stormont election in Ulster ‘by a landslide’.
    They obviously think the rest of us are too thick to spot that the IRA vote stayed the same and the Unionist splinters changed sizes a bit. But hey, it’s politics. And as Sir Starmer has confirmed, what does the truth matter?

Less ain’t more

The Russian ambassador getting a red paint job in Warsaw on his country’s Day of Shame on Monday didn’t get nearly enough meedia coverage. Just goes to show how much of it is on Team Putin the Poisoner.

Gruesome garbage

Game of Death (2010) must be an entry for the daftest shoot-up film ever, with the characters blasting off millions of rounds pointlessly at every opportunity, and even managing to look surprised when they ran out of bullets.
    Which gave them an excuse to do a bit of karate chopping and general bashing.

Love it!

Sir Liar Starmer has managed to place himself in one of the most uncomfortable positions in the political Karma Sutra, according to the MP for NW Leicestershire. And the best thing about it is that he has no one to blame but himself.

Include me in!

The late Dennis Waterman once said he wouldn’t piss on Tony Blair if he was on fire? He’d be one of a huge crowd of non-pissers.

Ludicrous deluge

Not something that will affect me directly, but glancing at the 34(!!) menopause warning signs left me thinking they can apply to everyone of either sex and any age group at one time or another, which makes them fairly useless in practice.

Shameful Omission

The murder of Al Jazeera journalist Shireen Abu Akleh by an Israelis sniper is all over that TV station’s news. But not a mention of it on the BBC news. Why’s that?

A spot of good news!

Despite stagflation and a cost of living crisis of a severity not seen since the last time we had Labour in charge, we have at least one growth area to brag about!
    What do we conclude from Beergate? That it doesn’t matter if the leader of the Labour party is a hypocritical liar because he’s totally irrelevant.

 

No crisis

‘Rooneys fear Wagatha case will shred their reputation’, we are told. But do they still have one that’s damageable? And after all, any publicity is publicity.

Count me out

Actually, you BBC blokes & blokesses, we have lots of better things to do that drop everything and “Watch now on BBC eyeplayer”.

Not surprised

I see Putin didn’t push his nuclear button on Monday, despite all the threats. Maybe they should make Starmer our ambassodor to Russia and let liar talk to liar.

Starmer, integrity? Ha!

What makes his position untenable is the lies. The PM didn’t lie about his alleged crime against humanity, he apologized and paid the fine.
    Starmer put on multiple displays of fake red-faced outrage in the Commons, and lied and lied again about what he’d done. And continued to lie after he’d been found out.
    Okay for a leader like Putin, nokay for the leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition. Mr. Rules Don’t Apply To Me.

Pull the other one

We’re being told that inflation is currently 7%. But it’s 20% for butter and cat food, and 18% for bread, a recent shopping trip confirmed.

Moot Point

What exactly is the objection to privatising Channel 4? That it would subject the usual luvvies to contact with the real world?

Only a matter of time

I’m waiting for Starmer to claim that he was celebrating his official birthday during lockdown and, like The Queen’s, his is exempt from the rules.

Shame on the usual suspect

Are we impressed by some usual suspect presenting the PM with a story about a pensioner who travels around on buses to stay warm and he doesn’t have an instant solution?
    Not if no facts were on offer. Had the usual suspect found out if the old lady had been in touch with her council’s social services department for help? Had they refused help?
    Of course, she hadn’t. And she knew the PM couldn’t say anything useful without knowing the basic facts of the case.
    It was just a TV usual suspect using this old lady’s plight to play looney left politics.
    Cheap & nasty.

All’s well

Do we have anything to worry about if the monstrous regiment’s best whinge about the PM is that he doesn’t know who some woman who does daytime TV is?
    It should be rather comforting to know he doesn’t waste his daytime hours goggling at the box.

Starmer’s Law

His double standards are twice as good as our single ones.
    This was being said back in February; but you wouldn’t know it if you get your news only from the BBC.

No brainer

A fat woman complains she eats double the portions she would have consumed if she had been cooking for herself when she gets a takeaway delivered.
    Obviously, she hasn’t realized that there’s nothing in the rules to prevent her from eating half of the delivery and bunging the rest in the fridge to heat up a day or two later.
    Or even in the freezer to extend its life.

No great breakthrough

A win in an election for the Stormont parliament in Northern Ireland is 46 of the 90 seats. The IRA got less than one-third of them, and about their usual level of support.
    The reason why they look like a bigger chunk than any of the Unionist parties is that the Unionists fragmented and their groups got smaller. But they still outnumber the IRA as a bunch.

When you get down to it . . .

“A man who has never passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them,” was quoted from the writings of the shrink Carl Jung.
    “A man who has never been to sea has never passed through the challenge of being shipwrecked.”
    A big “So what?” to both of them.

A card yet to play?

Something that doesn’t seem to have occurred to Sir Bier Starmer is to claim that the Durham Do was his official birthday— rather than the real one (cf. Her Majesty The Queen)—and he felt it was exempt from the prevailing rules.
    A feeble excuse, but when you’re as desperate for a credible lie as he is . . .

Big surprise

The Tories did what governments always do and lost some seats in the council elections. But mainly in London, which is full of weirdos, and not Up North in England, where the people tend to have a bit more sense. Maybe Starmer the Liar should get Putin the Poisoner to stand as mayor of London when he gets fed up of stealing from Russians.

Typical politician

Putin the Poisoner, I read, claimed that Ukraine would go belly up in 11 minutes after his tanks crossed the border. Which just goes to show how in touch with reality his minders let him be.

Crossword Clue

Act of god (5)? Floods are the actions of a psychopath if they take out loads of innocent animals & plant life. Not a god to be encouraged.

Weighty Issue

Being a bit hefty doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy, claims a large lady. Which is exactly what the PM thought before he ended up flat on his belly, struggling to breathe, after getting a dose of the Chinese plague.

What a tough one

If a crooked local politician, who was convicted of fraud by the High Court, tells you he has always maintained his innocence, what’s that assurance worth? (Labour, of course)

So what?

How relevant to a £266 million money laundering trial is it that one of the accused; Cupid Stunt’s brother; used to be married to Bernie Ecclestone’s daughter? Apart from not at all.

Not three bad after all

I was surprised to read that the 2016 addition to the Ghostbusters canon with an all-female cast was a box-office flop.
    I swithered over whether to watch it when it arrived on TV but I was surprised and delighted to find it’s entertaining, despite all the wonkery that the cash customers didn’t approve of, and Melissa McCarthy in it was a big positive.

Easy Winner

Airplane vs Volcano (2014) has to be the daftest film I’ve seen so far this year.

Not too civilized

How wonderful to see the big names in world tennis on Team Putin over Wimbledon’s ban on Russians. Including the ever-open gob of the saintly Andy Murray.

Might work

Just a thought, but why can’t they sent Angela Rayner to Moscow to flash her bits at Putin to distract him from world domination?

Mindless myth

I see the claim that Ayrton Senna, who died 28 years ago, was the best driver in the world has resurfaced.
    Utter rubbish. He kept on crashing into Alain Prost. Not something a ‘best’ would have done.

Another non-story

Queen hit by shock security blunder? OUTSIDE the walls of Windsor Castle, so it’s rubbish. Sensationalist tripe. HM had nothing to do with it except be in the same country.

She’s done enough

Is it a big deal that Anne Robinson is quitting a TV show? At 77, it’s time she retired to write her memoirs. Maybe put a Starmer spin on the slutty stuff she’s accused of getting up to in the 1960s.

More invention

The Russians are claiming they invented the combination of fish & chips because the Jewish bloke who started selling it in London a couple of centuries ago was a refugee from an area that Putin wants to add to his empire.
    Maybe a little premature, Comrade.

Fix Ingone?

The delivery bloke who was telling everyone about the vast amount of curry stuff he delivered to the Starmer Beergate Do is suddenly claiming he was nowhere near the venue on that particular night. The price of keeping his job in a Labour zone?

More of it

“Sergeant Lucas, it should not be necessary for the mountain to come perpetually to my habit,” said the pesky examining magistrate.
    Wot!?! ‘to Mohammed’, the bungling subtitle scribe should have offered. Later on: ‘a mink stool’. Which would make rather more impact if madame turned up at a posh do in one than a mink stole.

Not really

Is it possible for a political party to make an ‘honest mistake’. The evidence before us suggests politicos will make the mistake of telling a lie, assuming they are entitled to get away with it, but honesty rarely, if ever, comes in to it.

Sometimes, he does tell the truth

 Starmer: the man whose nose grows before your very eyes!

Not much cop

So much for the terrifying threat. 25% of the Russian troops sent to Ukraine are no longer ‘combat effective’.

Now we know

 Starmer & Rayner performing: “What is this thing called truth?”

Will run & run!

Beergate: the mini-series!
    Something to revive the flagging fortunes of NetFlix?

And finally

25 laps of MotoGP, more tyre concerns, 2 off at the last corner of the first lap. Will Quateraro be able to get past Bagnaia? Didn’t happen. Some Marquez magic bagged 3rd with 5 laps to go, then he was back behind Espargaro & Miller. But he finished 4th.

Shocking omission

Are we to conclude that the Sunday Post, Scotland’s favourite newspaper, doesn’t know how to look stuff up on the WWW? That’s the only reason why they claimed that the only winner of the world snooker championship, apart from people from the UK, is an Australian.
    Cliff Thorburn, the Grinder, Canadian, 1980?
    Quite easy to find the info.

Up next

We’ve not had a proper Moto2 race for a while after the shambles last time out. Acosta had an early crash. Lowes went out from 4th on lap 7/23. Chantra inherited 4th and crashed two laps later!
    Two more gone on the next lap. Pole man Ogura was chased by Canet, who had a screwed-together forearm, and Ogura scored his first ever win.

Totally shameless

It takes a legal professional to wax indignant about the ‘crimes’ of the prime minister, knowing full well that he’s done exactly the same and got away with it.
    Well, that’s Starmer’s credibility, if he ever had any, blown out of the water.
    And that’s why the lawyers go up on the lamp posts at the same time as the politicians, come the revolution – to make sure all the bad guy get what they deserve.

More proper racing

Moto3 of Spain @ Jerez, 22 laps, Garcia was the early leader. The first crash was at the back on lap 4. Four riders went off the front, the lead group grew to nine with Spanish riders leading.
    Tyre troubles for the lead six on the final lap? Pole man Guevara bagged the lead at the end, going around the outside at the last corner; on the last lap. Garcia was 2nd.

Feeling rejected

The reason why newly re-elected French President Macron has a severe case of the hump with the British, it has been revealed, is that he hasn’t been granted the pomp & ceremony of an official visit and tea with the Queen.
    He doesn’t look likely to get one, unlike his predecessors, and that’s really getting up his snooty hooter.

They can’t both be right

If the Durham police were right not to fine Starmer, that means the Met sticking a fine on the PM was the police playing politics. Which means that an external force should be sent to London to arrest those members of the Met involved for misconduct in a public office.

Telling Statistic

If the Putinis put only 300 of our MPs on their ‘don’t travel to Russia’ list, does that mean they think the other 350 are useless tossers, about whom they’re not bothered?

Hyperbole rulz!

Boris Becker facing up to 7 years in gaol! Wow!
    What he got was 1 year of actual gaol time after the usual discounts. Not so Wow!