Wednesday, 30 October 2013

And justice for all?

Journalists and newspaper managers on trial (for the next 6 months) for phone hacking – 8

Politicians on trial for doing the same on an industrial scale to the world’s leaders – 0.

Another New Labour reward for failure – 700 Grand

When Baby Peter was murdered under the noses of Harringey council’s social services dept. and the police, there was the usual attempted cover up and the government minister responsible, Ed Balls, sacked the head of the social services as a political gesture. Which has come back to bite the taxpayer to the tune of the £700,000 that Sharon Shoesmith has been awarded for unfair dismissal.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Beware the Bag For Life

Tree-huggers want to ban plastic bags (rather than oblige shoppers to use them more sensibly) and they favour reuseable hessian bags as a substitute. How apt, therefore, that some professor has run swabs over typical Bags For Life and found them loaded to the gunwales with enough bacteria to kill the population of a medium-size city in a couple of days.

Monday, 28 October 2013

One up for the good guys

We seem to have survived the Fairly Great Storm in good shape. In fact, we might even have come out a little bit ahead. My estate manager has been in negotiations with the local cowboys over felling some trees, which were getting a bit old and ratty and unsafe. Only they kept quoting regulations from the ‘Elf & Safety Nazis at him and quoting in the thousands. But it turns out that all of the dangerous trees fell over in the storm, and could be chopped up on the ground. There is a hint of suspicion that they might have had a little help in the falling over department, but it never does any good to go too deeply into these matters.

Saturday, 26 October 2013

One for the good guys!!

A bogus psychic National Express bus driver has actually been sacked for refusing to pick up some schoolchildren in Dundee because he had a premonition that something bad would happen. Surprise! The something bad turned out to be an employer who wouldn’t tolerate an employee who refused to do the job he was being paid to do.

Hatches battened down

We’re all ready for the great storm forecast for Monday. Everything that could fly around is put away and our insurances are up to date. All we need now is some Michael Fish going on TV to assure us it won’t be 1987 all over again. Or even 1703.

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Who gets the blame when the lights go out?

New Labour’s geniuses, Blair ‘n’ Brown, spent 13 years in office but made no attempt to replace ageing power generation plants with new ones. They were too busy getting us into foreign wars and preparing to feather their own nests. New Labour let the EU close down perfectly good, always-on, coal-fired power plants on specious environmental grounds and wish on-only-if-the-wind-blows windmills on us. Ed Miliband loaded the British public with bogus green taxes as part of Labour’s policy of doubling energy prices in a decade. I think it’s clear enough.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Another example of the obvious, or Selection Works

How surprising that a study has found that the collapse in British educational standards is all down to the decision of the trendy-lefties to abolish grammar schools in the 1970s. Competition is bad, they said, and teaching children in groups of the same ability level is also bad, the lefties claimed. So we’ll dumb down the syllabus, introduce trendy teaching methods in comprehensive schools and go in for grade inflation in the hope that no one notices that standards are dropping. And that’s why Brits aged over 55 can out-perform people of the same age in other countries whilst current school leavers can’t match their grandparents in terms of literacy, numeracy and problem-solving skills.

Money Conquers Hassle

My “Windows 8" employee has a new strategy for dealing with his situation. If he finds Windows 8 too annoying, he plans to buy a new laptop (same specification, different manufacturer, Windows 7 installed) and use a sledge hammer to pound the W8 laptop to bits, which he will take to the council recycling centre and hurl into the appropriate skip – filming himself all the while. His next step will be to put the video on FaceTube in the hope that it will go viral and make him some cash. Sounds like a good plan!

Tuesday, 22 October 2013


My “Windows 8" employee has reached a compromise with his laptop. When it has booted up, he clicks on the “Desktop” panel on the Start page and arrives at a place with a fair fraction of Windows 7's utilities. What he is hoping to do next is find some way to neutralize the Windows keys to prevent them from popping up the unwanted Start page. And he also plans to do something about the totally crap colour scheme wished on him by Windows 8. It’s revolting!

Monday, 21 October 2013

Rotten swindle

Still much discontent in the MotoGP community at the mansion over the way Marquez was swindled out of the race yesterday. Totally bogus, is the concensus.

Sunday, 20 October 2013

What a horrible mess!

One of the staff has had to “upgrade” his laptop to Windows 8 because of driver problems. He asked me if I felt like doing the same. No way! That start window is total rubbish. Full of baby-size panels of apps and crapps that no one in his right mind would every use. No access to help, control panel, other programs; in fact everything you’d normally find by clicking the START button – which, in Windows 8, takes you to this appalling mess. It’s so bad that there’s no obvious way to switch the machine off. (Other than using the power button, that is.)
      You’re just dumped at this horrible interface with no explanation and no instructions for doing basic tasks. A PC which used to be easy to use with Windows 7 is suddenly totally useless. It’s like being dropped in the middle of Shanghai with no road map and no Chinese dictionary.
      So there’s no way I’m ever going to move on past Windows 7 unless Microsoft makes its Windows interface work again. What a load of rubbish version 8 is!

Saturday, 19 October 2013

TV bollux of the day

Heard on the lunchtime news: The violin played by the leader of the band on the Titanic was returned to his fiancĂ©e, and it’s up for auction today “after passing through countless generations” of the family. Countless? Since 1912? They must be really thick at the BBC.

Friday, 18 October 2013

Nothing like a politician for being unoriginal

Put on a woolly jumper, if you’re feeling cold and you can’t afford to pay the government’s bogus green stealth taxes, says Dave the Leader. It’s something HM the Queen has been saying and doing for years, but no chance of Dave acknowledging his source, of course.

Common sense is extinct in the NHS

Doctors are now being ordered to be especially nice to fat people and not attach any blame to them for their size. So it would appear that the bit of the Hippocratic Oath that obliges them to “do no harm” has been suspended, and they can’t tell fatties that if they don’t change their ways, they’ll die early in case it hurts the fat person’s feelings. How very New Labour.

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

The stitch-up expands

Which is more depressing – that the police stitch people up or that they do such a bad job of it? Three Police Federations reps.; an inspector and 2 sergeants; from the West Mercia “service” called on sacked Tory chief whip Andrew Mitchell at his constituency office to discuss the Plebgate frame-up. Then, the IPCC has found, they lied about what was said and an investigation by their own “service” whitewashed them. What a terrible shame, then, that Mr. Mitchell had a recording to frustrate their knavish tricks. Will there be prosecutions and sackings? Joke!

“Not me Gov.” implied

Birmingham council was blasted by the boss of Ofsted for having diabolical children’s services. So a council mouthpiece replied that what was needed is improvement rather than further diagnosis. With the sub-text that the last people you can expect to make the improvements are the officials and members of the council.

Monday, 14 October 2013

Things to jazz up your CV

You probably couldn’t do better than the lady who has just become the president of the RSPB. She’s into collecting road kill and thinking up new recipes for it.

Sunday, 13 October 2013

The last people who deserve a say

Should politicians be allowed to say how newspapers are regulated? Of course, not. Politicians lie and get the country into illegal wars. Politicians steal from the taxpayer via their expenses then get shamelessly indignant when the newspapers expose their abuses. The only reason why politicians want to control the Press is to be able to cover up their own blunders and criminality, and do the same for friends who will give them money and/or do them favours.

Saturday, 12 October 2013

All pals together

Is anyone surprised that the BBC had a big go at the Daily Mail and blacked out criticism of the Grauniad and its aid and comfort for terrorists? After all, they’re all out of the same leftie-luvvie box.

Friday, 11 October 2013

It’s all a bit of a waste of time, really

The Tories seem to be ganging up on a pushy back-bencher, who wants to shove a clause forcing a 2014 referendum into a private member’s Bill, which promises a referendum on staying in the EU in 2017. They want him to drop his amendment in case the Bill is lost. But the big problem is that no one trusts Dave to hold the referendum if he’s still PM in 2017, and if Labour or a Labour/Liberal coalition is in charge, they’ll find some way to kill off the referendum anyway. So its all more of the usual hot air.

1 and 1 = zero

One of my staff has been having problems with the host of his website. 1&1 Internet Ltd. presents itself as a major player in the website hosting world, and even advertises on TV, but its services come rather cheap. My minion found out why: there’s no customer support department to speak of. And the only way to make them respond to emails is to keep on bombarding every department; billing, sales, etc., with requests for help until someone is shamed into replying.

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Yet another daft gadget

Some Swedish bloke had invented a “death watch”,which gives people a count-down to a predicted date and time of death. He claims it will help customers to make the most of what time they have left. So are you allowed to sue him if you blow your last quid one second before your time is up, you don’t die and you discover that the original prediction was a load of old rubbish?

Monday, 7 October 2013

Political sales are always a disaster

The government is selling off shares in Royal Mail at £3.30 even though they are expected to leap to £4.50 when they hit the stock market. The outcome looks like it will be a calamity in the vein of Gordon Broon’s bog-up of selling off our gold reserves when he became Chancellor. The present Chancellor took advice of Goldman Sachs and UBS. As both companies were fined hundreds of millions of dollars for misleading investors during the US housing market meltdown, it would seem that the government has a case for sueing them for any shortfall for the taxpayer, and for the taxpayer to sue the Chancellor for taking advice from firms with such a dodgy track record.

It’s obvious, really

Why was a Libyan Al Kaida terrorist at the top of America’s Most Wanted list given asylum in Manchester? Because they expected him to vote Labour.

Sunday, 6 October 2013

The trouble with Global Warming Swindlers . . .

. . . is that they have an illogical world view, which demands that everything done by Man harms the planet. But every time a power station sends out billows of carbon dioxide and generates power for the local humans, it makes billions of plants happy. Carbon dioxide is food for plants and without plants, humans can’t survive. So only a swindler with his hand in the taxpayer’s pocket would say that carbon dioxide as a very small fraction of our atmosphere is a poison.

Distraction – the last refuge of a scoundrel?

You can tell when a politician is really foundering. The case of E. Milipede, promoted with great progressivist bias and hypocrisy by the BBC, has been done to death. Next thing you know, President O’Bummer is taking issue with the name of the Washington Redskins NFL team. So fixing America’s broken system of governance is clearly not something that needs his full attention. Or is it getting none of it at the moment?

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Is Diversity to be celebrated?

As it is just the Universe messing about, making things more complicated because it can, the answer has to be a resounding NO! Are we better off with a new and more lethal version of the flu virus every year? A whole gang of different weird religions? Dozens of different systems of government? No, of course not. We are just having our time wasted by the distraction of pointless variety.

How contemptible

Everything else has failed, so the leftie-luvvies, including Lord Pillock, are playing the anti-semitism card over the Daily Mail’s criticism of Red Ed Milipede’s caviar commie dad. Contemptible and very predictable.

Friday, 4 October 2013

Thank you, so much!

Something we really have to thank the political correctness mob for is black keyboards, which you can’t use without a reading light if it gets a bit dark or the keyboard is in the shadow of something, and laptops with a black case, which makes USB and other ports a black hole in a black surface and bloody impossible to find without a torch.

Thursday, 3 October 2013

There’s always a reason

Why didn’t Eddie Milipede’s caviar commie dad move to the socialist workers’ paradise in the Soviet Union, especially when Mrs. Thatcher was in charge? Could it be that he was worried they’d make him do some honest toil?

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Typical silly season

Well! The prime monster doesn’t know what a loaf of bog standard supermarket bread costs because he has a bread-making machine. Big deal. Still, it helps to fill up a bit of space between the adverts.

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Milibandit Smokescreen

Having covered himself in glory by wiping £3 Billion off the share prices of the Big 2 British energy firms, and having helped to double the price of domestic energy under New Labour, Red Ed now gets himself into an attempt to censor the Daily Mail. And for what? As an attempt to rewrite the history of his caviar communist, dacha-class father, who came to Britain as a refugee and then had the cheek to moan because we’re not a one-party Stalinist paradise.