Sunday, 31 March 2013

They must be up to something

I come back from a couple of days off to find the Met Office trying to persuade us this has been one of the coldest Easters on record. As long as you don’t look at any records more than 50 years old. Has the Met Office given up on Global Warming? Or is it still trying to convince us that this year’s cold start is somehow due to Global Warming? That sneaky bunch are bound to be up to something dodgy.

Thursday, 28 March 2013

More political idiocy!

Dave Milipede’s departure to Millionaire Row in the aid industry in the US is a “massive loss to politics”? That’s Banana Man we’re talking about, remember. In your dreams, Tessa Jowell, and what have you been smoking?

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

How come every MP called Ed is an idiot?

After Balls ‘n’ Milipede, we have Davey, the alleged Energy Sec., who is trying to tell us that even if the government shoves up the price of gas and electricity with Green Stealth Taxes, which won’t save the planet, no matter what lies they tell us, and if we spend THOUSANDS of pounds on replacing all TVs, cookers, central heating boilers, fridges, washing machines and other gadgets, we’ll actually end up SAVING money. Come on, Ed, just how stoopid do we look?

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Just the facts, Ma’am!

Let’s just get the facts straight on this. The bail out for Cyprus is not a rescue for the gangster island’s banks, it’s a rescue for the euro and a sticking plaster on the egos of the control-freak eurotwits who invented the single currency as part of a Soviet-style pan-European dictatorship run from Brussels by bunglers and crooks.

Monday, 25 March 2013

Tell a lie often enough and it becomes the Truth? The BBC certainly thinks so.

There I was, watching the lunchtime news on the BBC, and they did it again. Up popped some “expert” to tell us the coldest March for 50 years is all down to global warming caused by carbon dioxide thrust into the atmosphere by the human race. Not a word about carbon dioxide being an insignificant greenhouse gas compared to water vapour. Not a word about carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere have risen historically after warming has taken place instead of being a cause of it. And this from our national broadcaster.

No More Boom!

Gordon Brown was half right when he claimed that he’d abolished Boom & Bust. Pity it’s always the down side, which the politicians deliver. Was anyone convinced by Lord Mandelsleaze’s attempt to pretend that he didn’t know who made the claim? It’s unlikely. Something else unlikely is anyone taking the Balls seriously when he goes on about the government not having a grip on clearing up the mess that New Labour left (with the help of the aforementioned Balls). It’s like the bloke who let out the poisonous fart blaming it on the 18 pints of lager and the curry rather than the lack of self-control on the part of the SoB who consumed them.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Get your priorities right

It’s no wonder the country is about to run out of supplies of natural gas. Successive governments have been criminally negligent about the need to build gas storage facilities to keep the nation supplied. But there is a solution readily available. Instead of building a high-speed rail link to let the boss of the NHS spend his weekends with his wife at the taxpayer’s expense, the money for the H2S project should be spent on giving the taxpayer a decent amount of reserve gas, which can be topped up when the price of gas is at its lowest, not at its highest, as usually happens.

Friday, 22 March 2013

Insoluble Problem?

The Labour Party is saying the Chancellor’s scheme to help first-time buyers get a mortgage is no good because rich people could use it to buy a second home. But given that a Bill to make it happen hasn’t actually been drafted yet, and given that the House of Commons is supposed to be full of lawyers, is it beyond their capabilities to write a Bill which will prevent a known problem from arising? Well, yes, it probably is, going on experience. And even if they did get the Bill drafted properly, you’d get some dotty old judge saying it goes against the ’Uman bluddy Rights Act (2008).

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Not fooling anyone

Watching Ed “he’s talking” Balls during the Budget event at the House of Common Criminals, you’d never suspect he was one of the fiscal idiots who brought the British economy to its knees, if you didn’t know his history. A bigger collection of thieves, liars and rogues, you couldn’t hope to find this side of a gulag. And the sad thing is, they all have both fists thrust deep into the pockets of the British taxpayer and there’s no prospect of relief.

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Nurse, he’s out of bed again!

Even 2-Jags Prescott can see that invading Iraq in 2003 was illegal and stupid, and done on the basis of lies. But Tony Blair is now advocating an invasion of Syria for another regime-change job. The sooner he’s whisked off to The Hague for his war-crimes trial, the better.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Normal service will be resumed when he stops talking . . .

13:55 today, the BBC news channel censors views on regulating the Press offered by Ian Hislop by freezing the picture until his item was over. What did he have to say that upset the leftie luvvies at the Beeb so much that they had to take him off the air?

Monday, 18 March 2013

"Saving: now a thing of the past" revisited

The Bank of England’s idea of moderate negative interest was bad enough, but the EU’s decision to steal 10% of all cash on deposit in banks in Cyprus sets a new low. Those members of the staff at the Mansion who made modest purchases of gold and silver coins recently are looking rather smug and considering the merits of moving more money out of savings accounts and into “things” which can be sold when they have realized a decent profit, and without troubling the taxman.

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Yeah, that’s just what we need!

Some unshaven bloke doing a send-up of the Aussie national anthem about 10 minutes before the start of their Grand Prix.

Friday, 15 March 2013

It’s only fair

The Liberals are insisting that the control orders on the movements of prospective terrorists should be abolished. Perhaps they won’t be so keen when they realize that this will leave them open to compensation claims from victims of terror attacks by the bad guys and/or their associates. The liability is just the same as that from wilfully letting a dangerous animal roam the streets unchecked.

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Good News! Well, not brilliant, actually.

The physicists at CERN in Switzerland have spent three years and Godzillions of millions of pounds and euros on making a Higgs boson. The only trouble is, they don’t know which type of Higgs particle it is. So could they kindly have another Godzillion million quid and another three years to help them work out what sort of a boson it is? Typical!

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Typical useless politician

Good news that Dave the Leader’s plan to put a stealth tax on alcohol is getting the thumbs down from the rest of the Cabinet. Put up tax is the first reflex of the politician. Making public incapacity through drink or drugs an offence worth a fine of £500, and giving the taxpayer a bit of a break, never occurs to them.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Get real

Is Vickie Pryce looking at the end of her multi-millionaire lifestyle? As some chump wrote in the Daily Disaster. It’s more like a 2-month break then business as usual. And she’s probably glad she didn’t hire the £20,000/hour lawyer who didn’t keep her former husband out of gaol.
p.s. There’s nothing more nauseating than a judge getting bitchy and self-righteous!

Monday, 11 March 2013

Who’s the calamity now?

You can just imagine Nick Clegg getting this staff to come up with lavishly smarmy nice things to say about ‘Orrible ‘Uhne, the convict, and all the while, he’s thinking, “Oh, dear, how tragic, ha, ha!”

Sunday, 10 March 2013

It’s the way life works

The new Archbishop of Canterbury is trying to get himself noticed by announcing that a cap on benefits will hit the poor not the rich. Surprise! The rich shouldn’t be collecting benefits. It’s their job to pay for them. So of course only the poor are affected by the cap.

Saturday, 9 March 2013

Jam tomorrow

Brilliant idea – give the cash in the over-inflated aid budget to British companies instead of directly to dictators and crooked officials. Except, there’s no word on how long the change-over will take and how many more BILLIONs the criminals will shove into their offshore accounts in the meantime.

Friday, 8 March 2013

Nothing happened!

Wow! You can tell yesterday was a no-news day. Today’s Daily Disaster is wall to wall Vickie Pryce Is Going To Gaol. And p.s. aren’t the Liberals an absolutely appalling bunch. Boring!

Thursday, 7 March 2013

You can tell he’s on the way out, Part 2

The Reverend King’s plan for the RBS will cost the taxpayer £46,000,000,000. Pity he was looking the other way when Gordon “The Financial Genius” Broon paid £9,000,000,000 too much for RBS shares when he baled out the Fred the Shredded bank.

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

You can tell he’s on the way out

How absolutely wonderful of the governor of the Bank of England to suggest that the Royal Bank of Scotland should be split into a healthy, profitable concern, which can be sold off, whilst the poor old British taxpayer remains stuck with all the toxic stuff.

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Undercover coppers everywhere?

Instead of smart, blue uniforms, the police will now be swanning about in yellow high-viz jackets as part of a scam. The public have been complaining about the lack of coppers on the streets, where the criminals are, for decades. Some genius at Scotland Yard has realized that the stoopid public might just think that everyone in a high-viz jacket is a copper and feel safer. Apart from the paranoid minority, who will think that the apparently harmless postman doing his rounds is a moonlighting copper looking for opportunities to hand out parking fines.

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Some free offer!

The Sunday Telegraph offered a free Pompeii ibook today. One of the staff investigated, and found that he had to download iTunes to his PC. Then he had to create an Apple ID. The next thing he knew, he was being asked for his credit card details. To download a “free” book. At this point, he waved 2 metaphorical fingers at the Sunday Telegraph and abandoned the quest. When someone else had a look this afternoon, the link wasn't working. So much for this brilliant free offer.

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Cause & effect?

UKIP fails to win the Eastleigh by-election, caused by the departure of C. Huhne for a spell at Her Majesty’s pleasure, and the pound sinks to a 3-year low against the dollar. How slight are the things that have a profound effect on our lives.