Friday, 31 July 2015

Sod off, the lot of you!

Three-fingers to all the gits who are moaning at Dave the Leader for calling the migrants battering at our borders a swarm. That’s exactly what they are; as unwanted as a swarm of locusts. Or the swarm of carping Labour gits. Lets us not forget that it was New Labour which started hoovering up migrants from all over the world in the 1990s and handing them benefits for no better reason than because Tony B. Liar thought it would nark the Tory Establishment.
    And where was current Labour leader and serial carper Harridan Harperson when all this was happening? Oh, yes. She was part of the New Labour government at the time. So that’s another dose of hypocrisy on her charge sheet. At times, I can’t wait for her to croak so we can play that Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead song again.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

So what will the police be doing instead?

Sara Thornton, former chief constable and current head of the successor body to the Association of Cheap Police officers (on £252K) believes that The Cuts mean that the public can no longer expect a visit from a copper after a burglary. Presumably, the victim just emails some photographs of the wreckage to their local police farce to get a crime number for their insurance company. It is also likely that she expects all crime will be treated similarly in the future. And if there’s a murder, whether or not there is a police investigation will depend on how photogenic the battered corpse is.

How to have a cannabis business in Britain

The secret is to think small. If you go in for a vast pot ranch in an abandoned building, there is a chance that it will be busted. But the nation’s police farces have given up on small-time operations. They have no authority to do so, but top coppers and PCCs have decided that cannabis doesn’t matter any more.

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

No rush for the cronies

After Blair crony Lord Sewel, the boss of the Standards Committee at the House of Lords, was exposed as a coke-sniffer and consort of prostitutes by The Sun, the police obligingly gave him a couple of days to flush his stash of coke before turning up at his grace & favour flat in London with a cosmetic battering ram for a cosmetic raid.
    No BBC helicopter on this one, of course. No arrests were made and Lord Sewel remains in hiding.

It’s not the system, it’s the people

By and large, democracy isn’t much of an idea because the vast majority of the people are incapable of making an informed decision. Never mind qualified majority voting; what we need is qualified voting. But even if we got it, the government (i.e. the Establishment) would still get in.

Monday, 27 July 2015

Bad company

Just think, the coke-snorting (allegedly) Blair-crony Lord Sewell would have been okay if the ladies with whom he did his alleged coke snorting had not been prostitutes (allegedly). Apparently, there is no requirement for members of the House of Frauds not to bring it into disrepute, and it’s only the fact that the ladies were prostitutes (allegedly) which has given the Establishment the hump.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Aren’t the French the world’s most disgusting creatures?

The Tour de France has confirmed that the French are a particularly insanitary bunch. The Chinese are always looked down upon for spitting all the time, but at least they don’t do it at people. And what about the hero with the cup of piss? Of course, the useless French police will turn a blind eye, as they do with strikers setting fire to things, and the filthy Frogs will feel free to do it again.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

More whistling in the wind?

The Foreign Sec., P. Hammond, knows that any agreement which the PM reaches with other EU leaders will be totally worthless. The most recent evidence for this is the way the other leaders casually discarded their 2010 agreement on the EU rescue fund to bail out Greece, even though the agreement rules out such an abuse.
    The big question is whether D. Cameron will sell the country short with another written (and worthless) agreement on EU reform, or whether he will have the guts and stickability to insist on getting the reforms written into a new treaty. Which will then have to be ratified. Which makes Dave’s promise of a referendum by 2017 look undeliverable, given the time it takes to cobble together a new EU treaty.

What meltdown?

The Global Warming Swindlers would have us believe that mankind is melting the Arctic ice cap and polar bears will be extinct shortly. Surprise! The Arctic ice cap is 40% BIGGER than it was 5 years ago. So much for the claim that it would disappear by 2014 made by arch GWS Al Gore. Worse, the amount of Antarctic ice is at its greatest since the survey of 1979.

Monday, 20 July 2015

Dave & Co. Catch Up With Reality?

The government has discovered that green-crap energy scams will require £1.5 BILLION more than expected in subsidies. Plans to reduce or abolish subsidies are now being considered. Which will probably involve some sort of compensation scheme for the lost subsidies to ensure that the taxpayer loses, as usual.

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Catch 22 in action

Mobile phone network operators are blaming poor quality signals on trees near their masts. The trees have too many radio signal-blocking leaves. Why are many of the trees there? Because local authorities insisted they be planted to hide ugly phone masts. Things will be better in the autumn. Maybe.

Another election promise scrapped

The Tories pledged a cap on care fees from April 2016 in their manifesto. Ain’t gonna happen until April 2020. They must have known when they made it that this particular promise was undeliverable, given the state of the economy and the dire shambles which is the state of care for the elderly, but they made it anyway. That's politics.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Just lie down and die?

For ages, we’ve been warned that too much sitting around leads to obesity, cancer, a bum the size of all outdoors and an early death. So it comes as no surprise to learn that a new “study” would have us believe that too much standing up causes back problems, permanent muscle damage, arthritis, heart disease and early death.
    Which just goes to show that you can’t win.
    Or maybe, you’re not supposed to.

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

Scottish votes for Scottish issues; but not the same for England

The Scottish Nasty Party, a.k.a. Wee Burney’s Band, claimed in February that it had a policy of not voting on matters which affect only England. Well, what a load of hogwash that turned out to be, and the promise has turned out to be something which can be junked when the Nasties are after revenge for not having every little demand satisfied.

Sunday, 12 July 2015

Wheels and wheels

Big day of motorsport today – three MotoGP races then IndyCars at the end of the day. Everyone is going to end up with widescreen eyes, as opposed to the traditional square ones, by the time we’ve consumed it all.

To the other extreme

After all the bollocks we've had about man-made global warming, we now have a prediction that the 17th/18th century mini ice-age will be repeated in the 2030s due to a drop in the Sun's output. Let's see the EU stick a tax on that.

Friday, 10 July 2015

Surprise! EU “resolve” crumbles

The European Council boss has gone soft on Greek debt to avoid the humiliation of that country’s exit from the euro. The EU’s management conspired with the Greek regime at the time to lie about the state of the economy to get Greece into the euro. Letting Greece tumble out of the euro would expose the lack of morals at the top of the EU, and we could never have that! So what if BILLIONS of euros go down the Greek bog-hole? Appearances is all that counts in Europe, now and forever more.

Charities do bad

Charities used to be institutions which helped the unfortunate and the feckless. Not any more, according to the current news. They exist to pay fancy salaries to the bosses and pursue left-wing political agendas using cash raised for good causes. And, the Daily Mail has found, they have the same approach to extracting money from their victims as any criminal high-street bank. And they were warned a year ago about the tactics used by their favourite call-centre operator.
    Which leaves the rest of us asking what the Charities Commission (or whatever it’s called now) was doing whilst all this was going on? Clearly, the time is ripe for some tough legislation on the conduct of charity operators and life bans from the public and charity sectors for the management of the ones named and shamed by the Daily Mail; the British Red Cross, Oxfam, the NSPCC and Macmillan; for starters.

A winner every time or “we’re here because we’re here”

“God made all this.”
    “How do you know that?”
“God told me.”
    “Isn’t that a bit self-fulfilling?”
“No, it’s a Mystery.”
    “And you know that . . . because God told you?”

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Off you go and don’t come back

Britain’s former counter-terrorism boss has come up with an interesting solution to domestic jihadis. He thinks that if they surrender their passport, they should be put on a charter flight to Syria and allowed to join the Islamic Inquisition as an alternative to festering here and using up the resources of the security services.

Monday, 6 July 2015

Grexit 2

“Defiant” Greek Marxists yelled anti-capitalist slogans and waved clenched fists on Referendum Day. But when it was all over, the clenched fists turned into hands outstretched for more cash from the despised capitalists further north. So it’s okay for other states to be capitalist if it lets the Greeks be scroungers? If that’s what a united Europe means, they can stick it!

Grexit 1

The Greeks voted no to austerity and yes to the rest of Europe giving them more money. Maybe it’s time for the rest of Europe to have a referendum to let the people have a chance to deliver a democratic “get lost” to the Greek scroungers.

Sunday, 5 July 2015

Rain on the parade

There it was, raining on the British Grand Prix but every time I looked out of my window, there was brilliant sunshine outside. Still, there’s nothing like a drop of rain for stirring up the normal dull procession of F1. And it even helped Fernando Alonso to score his first points of the season in his clunker of a McLaren.

Alternating not-hot

Not much of a heat wave this week. One hottish day followed by cloudy and cool, and then maybe hottish again. There are no melted railway lines near us.

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Banned Wordy Wise

There’s a feature in the Daily Mail called “Peterborough”, to which readers can contribute. Here at the Mansion, the staff like to offer suggestions to the "Wordy Wise" section, which involves creating new words or phrases, with an appropriate explanation, by changing a letter of an existing word. Strangely, theirs never seem to be published. Maybe an example will explain why:
egotestical – bloke who thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks.

Discrimination okay

The college lecturer who got Sir Tim Hunt sacked by UCL as a result of dodgy reporting has been exposed as having a very dodgy CV. Despite this transgression, there is no question of the lecturer getting the sack. Why? Being female and untouchable probably has a lot to do with it.