Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Dave was right!!!

Last month, the prime monster accused S. Kahn, who was running for mayor of London, of being a friend of extremists. Come the bank holiday weekend at the end of this month, he was proved right. There was that Kahn fellow chumming up with a looney extremist, who has threatened war, pestilence and destitution if Britain dares to leave the EU. Who was this extremist? A total nutter called D. Cameron.

In the dustbin of history

An interesting parting thought on David Cameron: he’s been so snotty about Donald Trump but, whichever way the Brexit referendum goes, Dave the PM could be history before President Trump takes charge next January. Which would spare Dave the humiliation of having to phone the new American president with congratulations.

Monday, 30 May 2016

Whither Dave? Or even Wither Dave (we wish)

Should we be bothered by the prospect of a challenge to Dave the Leader’s position as head of the Tory party? Actually, no. Because we still can’t work out what he’s for. He’s obviously not a Conservative with a capital C, although he is a small c conservative, who’ll tell any silly story to avoid upsetting the cosy cartels of government, either here or in Europe.
    He clearly doesn’t have any values and political beliefs. If asked to fight for his country, he looks like the kind of guy who would be off in a hurry to somewhere with no extradition treaty. In fact, he’s another Corbyn. He’s a politician with his head so far up his own arse that he couldn’t find his way to reality even if provided with GPS and a team of Sherpas.

Time Shift

Watching the build-up to the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 last night, I couldn’t help but see a touch of the Third Reich in all the militarism and flag-waving at what is supposed to be a sporting event. Yes, it was Memorial Day, but even so, if the pictures had been in black and white, we could have been back in 1936 rather than 80 years on . . .

What he’s worth?

Evicted British prime minister Tony B. Liar reckons that he does 80% of his “work” for nothing. Probably because that’s what he’s good for.

Sunday, 29 May 2016

More wet races!

Before the Monaco Grand Prix, it was: Look out of the window – brilliant sunshine. Look at the TV and they’re wondering how they’re going to get things started with all that rain coming down. Then we got a pretty crazy race won by Lewis Hamilton, even though he had the wrong sort of tyres, according to the commentators. Yey! More wet races, please. And the McLarens were both in the points.

Saturday, 28 May 2016

Here’s one you couldn't make up:

The UN’s geniuses have concluded that global warming will result in an explosion in the mole population and the tunnels of these Mining Super-Moles will undermine and collapse Stonehenge. Easter Island’s figures, the Statue of Liberty and Venice will go the same way, the Warmists’ Project Fear message adds.
    Venice at threat from underwater moles? They’ve invented the aqualung? Well, who’d have thunk it!

Thursday, 26 May 2016

Not much change there

One of the staff at the Mansion hit a local weather archive and worked out some average noon temperatures for the month of June in England. He started with 2015 and went back in 10-year jumps. The numbers he got really upset our local Warmists:

    1975    17.9 deg.C
    1985    15.8 deg.C
    1995    16.6 deg.C
    2005    18.3 deg.C
    2015    17.9 deg.C

Where’s all this warming, then?

Time, please, Dave

Those whom the Gods would destroy they first make mad. David Cameron has definitely lost it if he thinks he can cut migration to Britain to “tens of thousands” within the EU. And his latest Project Fear silly story about how pensions and care for the elderly will end if we leave the EU? Sheer desperation, Dave.

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

How to annoy Warmists

Out local Warmists are fond of quoting data from NASA people, but the staff at the Mansion have found a good way to dislocate them. They remind them that NASA’s shoddy engineering got the crew of Apollo 1 roasted to death in a fire during a ground test. And because none of the geniuses at NASA realized that the rubber O-rings in solid-fuel boosters would shrink to a brittle, solid and useless state when exposed to sub-zero temperatures on a launch pad, seven more astronauts were killed.
    And then there’s the Mars mission that went tits up and missed the planet completely because some of the crew were working in the US equivalent of Imperial units and the rest were using the metric system. Luckily, no one died that time.
    Sadly, NASA is a government organization which is prone to the sort of bureaucratic stupidity that was letting patients die of neglect at Stafford hospital when Andy Burnham, a bloke who thinks he’s fit to be Manchester’s mayor, was running the NHS. Yes, the agency has had some spectacular triumphs. But you never quite know if you’re going to get Good NASA or Bad NASA.

Mug of the World

David Cameron claimed that if Britain wastes 0.7% of GDP on foreign aid, the rest of the world will follow the example. Surprise! Dave is wrong. Other G7 countries are letting Britain have the “Mug of the World” award, especially EU countries, and even his own MPs are speaking out on the damage being done to Britain in the name of making Dave feel virtuous.

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

We’re doomed. But by Climate Change, not Brexit

The local global warmists are getting quite a bashing in the local paper. Some unkind person pointed out that the historical record is full of periods when global temperatures were similar to today’s or quite a bit warmer. But the big snag is that the estimated atmospheric carbon dioxide level at the time was between one-half and two-thirds of the current 400 parts per million.
    Someone else wondered why, if global temperatures are proportional to the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, they stopped rising in 1998 when carbon dioxide levels kept on going up. The Warmists have been challenged to explain why, at 400 ppm of carbon dioxide, we’re not experiencing temperatures in the 40s Centigrade right now with the prospect of temperatures in the 50s or even low 60s Centigrade in high summer.
    No one is expecting much sense out of the Warmists, but we can live in hope.

Is Cameron Crazy?

There are rumours that disgusted Conservatives are considering having the prime minister sectioned under the Mental Health Act as a way of getting rid of him quickly.
    Clearly, his Project Fear claims that Brexit from the EU will lead to 820,000 people getting the sack, wages will fall, prices will soar, houses will become worthless, the pound will go the same way, the budget deficit will shoot up to £40 BILLION and family holidays to Europe becoming an impossible dream are hardly products of a rational mind.
    The case for DaveExit looks irrefutable!

Monday, 23 May 2016

More green crap

Something else our local warmists didn’t like was being told that turning trees in the United States into pellets and shipping them across the Atlantic to England to burn in a power station instead of coal or gas isn’t “green”. And pretending that it is, or that it is cheaper than using coal or gas, or even affordable, is dishonest.
    Similarly, going somewhere on a bicycle instead of using your own vehicle or public transport might make the bike rider feel virtuous, but what about the case of someone who is old/infirm? Someone who is in a hurry or has lots of stuff to move? What if it’s raining? A sense of virtue won’t get the job done or even keep you dry.


We’ve been having a run-in with the local global warmists recently. They were most upset when we refused to accept that sources of energy like wind and solar are “renewables”, and that calling them this is plain dishonest. They are not commodities which are used up and replaced, like a managed woodland. They’re “sometimes thereables” and their availability is out of the competence of the ’uman race.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

Palace were robbed

That Cup Final ref: has he been found yet? Floating in the Thames, shot, stabbed, poisoned, strangled, bludgeoned and run over by a steam roller so the cause of death can’t be determined?

Saturday, 21 May 2016

Get shot of him

Isn’t it time George Osborne got the sack if he’s trying to make people believe that their houses will become virtually worthless following Brexit? Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. Especially as the Treasury has admitted that his scare story is based on another forecast and it’s as much in touch with reality as Osborne’s forecast for what the economy will be doing in 2030.

Where’s Groucho Marx when you need him!

According to the president of the Europeon Commission, J.C. Junkett, Britain will be treated like a wartime deserter following Brexit from the EU. Which means what? We’ll all be shot?
    And when it comes to a trade deal, Britain will be treated as a third party. So if the EU is the party of the first part and Britain is the party of the third part, who’s the party of the second part?

Friday, 20 May 2016

Gormless Gadgetry

What sort of person would pay £120 for a bracelet, which will give them a 255V electric shock if  their spending takes their bank account into the red? A masochistic, splurging gadget-freak, I suppose.

Thursday, 19 May 2016

Referendum history

Some kind person has dug out some leaflets issued in 1975 for the EU referendum then. It’s interesting to compare them with how things are today. They can be found on the Garbagegate website here:

1975 EU referendum propaganda

The cliché applies

Much groaning in the Mansion after last night’s Liverpool vs Sevilla cup final. It was literally a game of two halves, with Liverpool dominating the first half and then not showing up for the second. That ref. needs a pair of specs. And so do his linesmen.

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Growth Industry

The government’s scheme for a super-duper high-speed rail link going north from London started off with a budget of around £7 BILLION. Its latest budget estimate is around £57 BILLION and the final cost is expected to be so far over the hills and far away that it won't get past Crewe if it’s ever built. And it won’t even get to Crewe if there are hedgehogs living in a car park on the route.
    So much for Chancellor’s plan for it to give access to his Northern Poorhouse in Manchester, Leeds, Sheffield, etc.

Cosmetic regulation

We’ve had silly stories in the newspapers about MPs being driven to tears by their “watchdog’s” attitude to their expenses, but what sort of system lets SNP MP A. McNeill rent out his flat in London and put £10,000/year into his coffers and charge the taxpayer for staying in hotels, optionally with his mistress, when he could be using the flat himself?

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Trust you, Dave? How desperate would we have to be?

Is anyone surprised that D. Cameron has been exposed as a liar yet again? He was cooking up Project Fear with big companies which have received multi-million-pound contracts from the government back in February, when he was still pretending to have an open mind on Brexit. But hey, he’s the Heir to Blair, so what can we expect but lies?

One way, but it’s the wrong way, George

Boy George Osborne has lost it if he thinks that Brexiters believe in Nessie, and they think that the Moon landings were faked and JFK is living in Argentina with Adolf Hitler. But then, we've always known he was dotty if he fell for the not-so-great Global Warming Fraud along with Dave the Leader and Labour’s leading lights.
    And if he had to team up with Ed “he's talking” Balls and Vince Cable, both of whom were chucked out of Parliament last year, as allies in Project Fear, he must be very desperate indeed. A one-way Ryanair ticket for all 3 of them to somewhere far, far away would be a great idea.

Monday, 16 May 2016

Boris: historians vs hysterians

Europe is too diverse to be reunited, as in Roman times, by force of arms, e.g. by Charlemagne, Napoleon, Hitler and various others, or by bureaucracy, as the European Union is attempting. Diversity is supposed to be absolutely wonderful, and there are self-appointed diversity police constantly on the lookout for offenders against their religion. Which makes it all the more strange that we never hear a squeak out of them on the issue of the EU. Bought and paid for? Knowing which side their bread is buttered on? Probably.
    And then there are all those who took a pop at Boris Johnson for daring to mention Hitler and the EU in the same speech. Hilarious Benn; Yvette Cooper, who was famous for never being able to make up her mind when a government minister; Ming the Merciless Campbell – they all pushed the self-publicity button but did no damage, given their lack of gravitas.

It worked; what more do you want?

Manchester United vs Bournemouth was postponed because of a bomb scare. In fact, the device was a dummy, which had left behind by a company involved in training sniffer dogs. There was a big hoo-haa over all the inconvenience of evacuating the stadium and cancelling the match. But at least the incident proved that the Man. U. Security system works. No one was killed or injured in a stampede. Imagine the hoo-haa if the device had been found after the match had been played.

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Historical rewrites

According to Hilarious Benn, son of the late Wedgie, whilst taking a pop at the Blessed Boris: the Europeon Union has brought peace and prosperity to Europe. So why are Greece, Spain, Portugal, Italy, etc. broke? And has he forgotten the nasty war which broke out in the 1990s in former Yugoslavia? Which is in Europe. The EU did nothing about that; it was left to the Americans to sort things out.

Not much of a holiday!

David Cameron has decided to include Scotland in his Project Fear tour of the nation. No doubt the Scots will give him a welcome worthy of his condescending agenda.

Saturday, 14 May 2016

Having a laugh?

My broadband connection was out to lunch for a while yesterday; they had to get an engineer in, probably from India, to fix a problem affecting the local area. I did use my PC during the blackout for some off-line stuff, and when I shut it down, it begged me not to switch it off as it had found 2 updates to install.
    Where from? If I didn’t have an internet connection? Was MicroSoft having a laugh at my expense?

Thursday, 12 May 2016

How come he’s not in gaol?

Gulp! David Cameron’s part in international corruption is even worse than we suspected, a principal member of the League of Corruption has informed us. Apparently, Dave doles out vast amounts of British taxpayers’ cash to regimes which he knows are corrupt, and he makes it possible for aid thieves to stash their loot in corrupt banks in Britain and launder it by buying properties here.

His best shot?

Enter Gordon F. Brown, Britain’s worst prime monster since Harold Wilson, into the Brexit fray. “We have always been part of the world,” he informed a breathless nation as his big argument for staying in. But like we didn’t know that, Gordon.

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Dave, the Corrupter

If a prime minister shoves taxpayers’ cash at regimes which he knows to be corrupt, is that grounds for impeachment? It certainly should be in D. Cameron’s case.

Non-binary bomb threat

The Greater Manchester Police farce is in trouble because the star turn in an exercise involving the response to a suicide bombing was yelling about his good mate Akbar. The “Moslem community” is alleged to be up in arms [a strangely appropriate phrase] because suicide bombers are not exclusively Moslems. Even though they never seem to be anything else.

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Doesn’t add up, Dave

If David Cameron really does think that Britain leaving the EU will trigger World War III, why did he ever offer the nation a referendum on leaving, knowing that he could plunge the entire world into war?
    And why is the Government not making contingency plans for this war in case the Brexiters win the day? More neglect of duty, Dave?

Does anyone know anything any more?

A SATs question from a practice paper for 7-year-olds is said to have gone viral on the internet after baffling kids and their parents. The gist of the question is: “19 people get off a train, 17 get on. There are now 63 people on the train. How many were aboard before it stopped?”
    “Baffled” parents are said to have offered answers ranging between 46 and 80. Which suggests that compulsory education for parents seems to be needed as much as education for kids.

Monday, 9 May 2016

David Cameron is funding terrorism?

This is the only logical conclusion to be drawn from his warning that corruption is fuelling terrorism, bearing in mind that he is insisting that the UK gives 0.7% of GDP away and his civil servants are just throwing cash around like drunken MPs to get rid of enough of it to prop up Dave’s image as a do-gooder without making strenuous efforts to track where the money goes and ensure that it goes to good causes instead of into the pockets of corrupt politicians and officials, and terrorists.

Sunday, 8 May 2016

Some things are not so natural

The government is not going to let Parliament take a close interest in the takeover of the London Stock Exchange by Deutsche Boerse, which will give the German concern a majority share of the “merger of equals”. This decision is so against the national interest that it just has to be covered in greasy fingerprints from D. Cameron and G. Osborne.

Saturday, 7 May 2016

In or Out is irrelevant

The credit agency Moody’s (which failed to spot the looming bank collapse in 2008) thinks that Brexit will trigger a collapse of the fragile EU. And even better, the whole thing could still collapse even if Britain stays in.

Lots of things are “natural”

A teenager got the hump when the owner of a Nottingham pharmacy objected when she started breast-feeding her kid there. “It’s the most natural thing in the world,” she complained.
So is having a pee. But that’s not encouraged in pharmacies, either.

More wheels coming off

The deputy governor of the Bank of England has noticed that David Cameron’s “safeguards” to protect Britain and the City of London from having to bail out the Eurozone are an illusion. Britain can object to the Council of Europe if presented with a demand for bailout cash but the EU is under no obligation to take any notice of the objection.

Friday, 6 May 2016

In Yer Boatface

The Commons science committee is to grill the Natural Environment Research Council (NERC) over its decision to ignore Boaty McBoatface as the name for its new £200 million polar research vessel. Have these idiots nothing better to do with their time than to explore whether it was a triumph of public engagement or a PR disaster? And are they not aware that public consultations have to include a silly option so that people who join in just to be silly can be identified and ignored?
 ● NERC has gone with Sir David Attenborough as the name of the ship, which will be built next year.

Thursday, 5 May 2016

More Moronic than Outrageous

I was watching Outrageous Acts of Science on the Discovery Channel last night and one of the items took the biscuit – handball with an oversized ball, in which tackling is done with a taser! The mind boggles at the process that came up with the idea for a sporting event involving deliberately inflicted agony. Xtreme masochists only need apply?

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Less of you!

The latest wonder way to lose weight is to drink lots of water before eating. How does it work? Filling the stomach with water leaves less room for food and there’s lots of exercise to be gained from dashing to the toilet every 10 minutes. Especially if it’s upstairs.

They don't call him O’Bummer for nothing!

America’s lame duck president was telling us only last month that Britain’s only hope of being part of a trade deal with the US is to stay in the EU. Surprise! The French are now saying that the Transatlantic Trade & Investment Partnership talks are about to hit the rocks. Which means that In or Out are irrelevant to something that will never happen.

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Politics or Parlour Tricks?

Ed Miliband, Labour’s ditched leader, is claiming that Brexiters from the EU dismiss climate change as “mumbo jumbo”. In fact, it’s the claims by Red Ed, and other Global Warming Fraudsters, that they can control the Earth’s climate which are being dismissed as mumbo jumbo.

Sunday, 1 May 2016

Which way to jump in the EU referendum?

There are those who have decided to do the opposite of what Nigel Farage says when they vote. And there are those who say that if Corbyn is pretending to be on the same side as David Cameron, then there’s a truly disgraceful stitch-up in progress and they’re going to vote against it. As valid as any other reasons for making the choice? That’s democracy for you.