Friday, 30 November 2012

Never discard a dirty trick

One of the staff has pointed out the following to me:
The then prime minister, Tony B. Liar, took us to war in Iraq in 2003 on the lie that Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction ready for use in 4-5 minutes. The Leveson Inquiry was launched by our current prime monster, Dave the Leader, on the strength of a false accusation in theGarudian against the now extinct News of the World.

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Too well-mannered to get scarily angry?

How strange it is that the political creatures who are threatening to apply equality to laws to the Church of England to force it to make women into bishops aren’t doing the same to the management of other religions, e.g. Islam and Roman Catholicism. Maybe it’s time for the CoE to assert itself with an Inquisition or even some suicide bombers.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Wot cuts?

Next time some Chief Con. or Labour stooge starts banging on about “The Cuts”, try asking how the boss of the Metropolitan Police, Mr. Hogan-Hyphen-Howe, managed to blow £2,000,000 in just 6 weeks on “investigating” allegations of abuse made against the late J. Savile. Maybe he’s flying all the witnesses to be interviewed in a luxury custody suite at MickeyMouseland in Florida.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

4x4 submarine

After the recent torrents of rain, our local rescue services have been begging drivers of Chelsea tractors to put their brain in gear before they do the same with their car. It seems that a lot of them think they can drive through anything, even stretches of flood that leave the top of the bonnet awash, and there are now lots of pictures on the Internet showing idiots who have come unstuck.

Monday, 26 November 2012

“The world, but not as we know it, Jim.”

3,400 Eurocrats are paid more than our prime monster – that’s paid not earn. A European Commission mouthpiece tried to justify this abuse by saying: “most of us are highly qualified professionals such as lawyers and economists”. But failed to explain why, with all these “professionals” in charge, 10% of the EU budget is lost to fraud, the auditors have refused to sign off on the EU’s accounts for 18 years in succession, and the whole system is rotten with corruption from top to bottom and a monument to wasted cash and opportunities.
No wonder most of the British electorate wants out.

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Forward planning

The estate isn’t flooded but some neighbouring bits of land have vanished after the torrents of recent rain. Why’s that? Because my estate manager, whom I inherited from the previous owner, keeps our drains and ditches in good order and the local council neglects theirs. Possibly because its leaders think paying inflated salaries to an overblown town clerk and his minions, and what amounts to wages for councillors, is a better way to spend the Council Tax.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Lateral thinking

The attorney general – notoriously wet & weedy when it comes to dealing with unelected and unqualified Eurocrats – is allegedly worried that the EU court of ’uman rights will award compensation to criminals in British gaols if they don’t get the vote. In which case, our useless government needs to declare such payments “proceeds of crime” and confiscate them forthwith.

Thursday, 22 November 2012

If only it were true!

The following is a quotation from an item on the website today – with my italics:
   “The UK Space Agency is set to invest 1.2 pounds in some of Europe’s biggest and most lucrative space projects, providing the UK with increased leadership in a rapidly growing global sector and building on the British space industry’s 9.1 pounds contribution to the economy.”
    If only we could get away with dealing with the European monster so cheaply!!

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Never the agent of his own misfortune

Lord Prescott of Jags blames damaging attacks in the newspapers for his failure to slide into a cushy number as a police commissioner. But 35 years of proving his uselessness at the taxpayer’s expense might also have something to do with it.

Monday, 19 November 2012

Is there no end to it?

The PCC elections might be over but that doesn’t stop the flow of cash going down the drain. The Electoral Commission is about to waste a few more millions on a pointless inquiry into the whole thing. But, of course, the public sector has to have its free lunches.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

Just a reflex action

On the TV news: Israel shaping up to invade Gaza again and kill half the population. And then who pops up but Tony B. Liar. Zap! Off! I didn’t even wait to find out if he was doing his contribution from South America, where he seems to be bamboozling more cash out of politicians who think he can buy them popularity, or if he was anywhere near the Middle East, for which he’s supposed to be a peace envoy, although not much sign of that breaking out anytime soon.

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Lessons no one will learn

The Police & Crime Commissioner elections contains lessons for the Coalition. Such as people want more democracy in areas that matter, like membership of the EU, and less waste on pointless frills. About the only bright spot in the waste of £75,000,000 is that 2-Jags Prescott didn’t get to bury his snout in the public-sector trough again.

Friday, 16 November 2012

Wonderful or just jammy?

Did the Serbic Swede score the greatest goal of all time against England? Hardly. His bicycle kick was just a boot at an unseen target that happened to go in – and he wouldn’t be able to do it again in a month of Sundays.

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Nice to see they’re getting the job done

We have a government powerless to get rid of terrorists who are living off the taxpayer (along with their lawyers), we have a Chancellor of the Exchequer who thinks rewriting the law on marriage to include same-sex couples (or maybe even trios or more?) is more important than fixing the economy that New Labour ruined, we have ex-Labour MP M. Moran getting away with stealing £53,000 because she’s too depressed (about being caught?) to go to court to be gaoled or even fined and the berko in charge of appointing the MPs’ expenses watchdog is trying to stuff it full of expenses swindlers and stooges. Doesn’t it make you proud to be British?

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Posturing Ankle-Biters

International companies avoid paying UK corporation tax with legal dirty deals, so what happens? Some stooge is hauled into the House of Commons to be moaned at and called immoral by members of an institution packed with thieves and expenses swindlers. All that happens is that the MPs get a chance to do some posturing but they actually achieve nothing at all. Which is just what we have come to expect.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Business as usual

The new D.G. of the BBC screws up after 2 months and heads off into the sunset with half a million quid of licence-payers’ cash and a fat pension pot. And, no doubt, he’ll be in some other overpaid public-sector non-job when the dust dies down a bit. How cosy things are in the leftie-luvvie world.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

The Labour “not me gov” noises are deafening

The Director General of the BBC has been forced to resign for being useless – no doubt the fiasco of Prof. Cox and the foul-mouthed aliens had a lot to do with it – and former Labour ministers from the era of the Blair regime’s sexed up Iraq dossier are oozing out of the woodwork to say the present mess, which the BBC created with its false accusations of assaults on juveniles, is far worse than their mess, which involved taking the country to war on a deliberate lie and getting thousands of people killed.
And, of course, the BBC’s cohort of lefties is buying the party line. Hypocrisy will never go out of fashion.

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Scrabbling for evidence

Having charged 5 Marines with murdering an Afghan terrorist, the government has suddenly realized that it doesn’t have a body. Which is why 120 soldiers, plus assorted CSIs and MPs, are currently lurking in the tribal badlands, looking for the body of someone whose name they don’t know – and who might not even be dead.

Friday, 9 November 2012

Bozo Broadcasting Company?

“You couldn’t make it up” to quote Mr. Littlejohn of the Daily Wail, but it seems the BBC wouldn’t let Prof. Brian Cox point a radio telescope at a newly discovered planet during a live broadcast on health & safety grounds. The Beeb was actually worried that the aliens would pick that exact moment to start effing and blinding – and in a language a British TV audience would be able to understand!

Thursday, 8 November 2012

Blubbing his way to victory!

Just back from a quick trip across the pond. President O’Bummer is reported to have burst out crying before the result of the US presidential election was announced at the thought of himself in the job for 4 more years.
After the result was confirmed, 49% of the population also burst into tears for the same reason.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Non-essentials of modern life

Never bought a takeaway cappuccino or latte? Check.
Never watched the X Factor or Strictly Come Dancing or any TV soap? Check.
Never been to a karaoke evening never mind sung at one? Check.
Never been skiing? Check.
Never been to a McDonald's, Starbuck’s, etc.? Check.
Never done FaceTube or Ubook? Check.

Monday, 5 November 2012

When in doubt, resort to blackmail

The government has decided that the taxpayer isn’t going to pay out infinite amounts of benefits to maintain New Labour’s dependency client culture. But councils in London are trying to subvert the intention by pretending to ship all their poor people off to Wales, the North-East of England and other cheaper places to live in the hope that there will be an outcry and lots of cash for them. How very cynically New Labour!

Sunday, 4 November 2012

Conspiracy theory going bust

The people who investigate UFO sightings are thinking of going out of business. They were expecting a flood of new sightings and hard evidence when access to the internet became widespread. But UFO sightings have dropped to a trickle over the last 25 years and all but a handful can be explained right away. So the UFOlogists are now ready to admit that maybe Little Green Men of Mars aren’t visiting us after all.

Saturday, 3 November 2012

All flash and no substance

Have you seen that advert in which a bloke dives through the open doors of a car clamped on its side over a pool? The music is Hawkwind’s Silver Machine but what colour is the car? Oh, dear, credibility shot to shreds.

Friday, 2 November 2012

The way forward?

Following on from their triumph in the Commons over demanding a cut in the EU budget, the eurosceptics should be turning their attention to some unfinished business. When he was an advisor to Gordon Broon’s Treasury, Eddie Balls was involved in giving up part of Britain’s Thatcher rebate from the EU in return for reform of the Common Agricultural Policy. As the CAP reform didn’t happen (and was never going to happen), the eurosceptics should now be agitating for repayment of all the money that the UK lost to this dirty deal and demanding an apology from Balls.

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Some life left?

It was encouraging to see some Tories go along with a stunningly hypocritical Labour motion on telling the European Union’s greedy bureaucrats to get stuffed. Yes, a reduction in the budget until they can get the accounts approved by auditors – something which hasn’t happened for 17 years – is an excellent idea. Not that Common Europe is known as a home of excellent ideas. But the good thing to come out of it was signs of integrity and grit in a Tory party which has let the other lot get away with far too much.