Thursday, 31 March 2016

Yeah, Jamie, right!

In the Last Ever Mythbusters episode, the Hyneman told us that there are 8,500 kiloJoules of energy in a pound of candy bars; that’s 8.5 MILLION Joules; and more than in dynamite, pound for pound. Then we were told that Buster’s rocket sled to oblivion hit the wall with a 5 MILLION Joule impact.
    Hmmm! Maybe they should just have strapped 6⅔ Mars bars onto Buster instead of using all those dangerous rockets.

Someone else to trust. Not!

Ex-Cabinet Sec. Gus O'Donnell would have us believe his preposterous claim that Britain would have 2 years from the date of a Leave vote in the Brexit referendum to extract itself from the embrace of the vampire squid which is the EU. In fact, it’s two years from when Article 50 of the Lisbon treaty is invoked, and that happens only when the prime minister is ready to do it, not automatically on the day after the referendum.

Trust him? Sure!

The Governor of the Bank of England has confirmed his membership of Dave the Leader’s Project Fear cult by pretending that Brexit from the Europeon cult will make the pound crash and mortgages unaffordable. This is the regulator who has only just started to crack down on unaffordable loans for house purchases, showing that he has let his eye zoom, rather than drift, off the ball. Which shows how much he can be trusted to be objective and competent.

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Is this anything bad?

“Ministers distracted by referendum ‘losing grip on their real jobs’,” said the Daily Mail headline. But given the mess that most politicians usually make when they are trying to do things, is this anything to worry about? Nope!

How the Looney Left Blobists hate Britain!

The National Union of Teachers wants an end to promoting fundamental British values in schools because the Nutters think it promotes cultural supremacy. It’s rather weird that a teachers’ union is so hell-bent on bringing about an end to all knowledge-based work in schools to avoid tainting the natural ignorance of children with learning supremacy.

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Sunday silliness

The Sunday Post columnist Donald MacLeod, a Scots Gnats apologist and professional tosser, would have us believe that the existence of 2,390 Glaswegians who “too drunk to work” and on benefits is somehow the fault of the Tories. All praise to the editor for publishing a couple of mocking letters from his readers.

Brain in neutral, obviously

One P. Morris of the Notional Crime Agency would have us believe we’ll all be in real trouble if terrorist outfits like Alky Ida and Schei├čis ever team up with criminals. Really? What has this character been smoking? How strange that someone with his fist in the taxpayer’s pocket at an organization which claims to protect us doesn’t know that murdering people and blowing up buildings are criminal offences. Our friend Morris must have got his job during the New Labour era, when brains and common sense were deemed a handicap when it came to getting a job in the public sector.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Happy Easter

You’re a couple of years into the war to end all wars (how did that work out, by the way?) and what do the Irish do? Open up another front right next door. Well, thanks very much.

Saturday, 26 March 2016

More pointlessness

Is there ever a time when there are 5 programs you want to watch on simultaneously, making Sky’s “watch one and record the other 4" gadget necessary? And when everyone else is offering the gadget, will Sky get the smug voice back to tell us that “Now, Sky will let you record nine, count them, NINE, programmes whilst you’re watching a tenth.”

Missing the point?

People are saying that the 40-year gaol sentence for genocide passed on Radovan Karodzic, the Butcher of Bosnia, isn’t enough. But given that the murderous SoB is now 70, just how long do they expect him to live?

Friday, 25 March 2016

NHS managers can’t win!

Too few nurses in hospitals, moans the Daily Disaster. But when hospitals recruit nurses from abroad to fill the gaps, the Daily Disaster howls with fury again. Some people are never satisfied.

Thursday, 24 March 2016

Dodgy Dave’s Counting

Dave the Leader is pretending that just 13% of the annoying and petty legislation wished upon us originates in Brussels. But PR man Dave is ignoring inconvenient secondary legislation; e.g. directives and regulations; which pushes the total up to 60%.
    But honesty never has been Dave’s strong point, especially in the last few years.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Self-inflicted foot-wound, round 2

Germany is having to recruit more prison staff and faces having to build more gaols to cope with the criminality of the immigrants hoovered up by Kanzler Merkel. Something else she didn’t mention in her last election manifesto.

Self-inflicted foot-wound

Apparently, the Belgian security service doesn’t share data with the police, presumably to avoid infringing bogus ’uman bluddy rights. And the security service is severely understaffed, under-resourced and short of Arabic speakers. Brussels has half a dozen police farces, which don’t talk to one another. The Walloons don’t talk to the Flemings on principle and tedious and pointless burrocracy is the rule in Belgium. And, of course, one nation’s cops don’t talk to another’s in Europe. No wonder people are getting blown up by murderous morons.

Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Operation Flop was “handled well”

The Metropolitan police farce has wasted £2 million on its 16-month Operation Midland inquiry into fantasies about VIP child abuse and murder. Lots of innuendo was splashed about and reputations were trashed but not one scrap of actual evidence was turned up.
    The Met isn’t planning to charge the fantasists with wasting police time and attempting to pervert the course of justice as a trial would just heap even more humiliation on the heads of the Met’s clueless coppers.
    ● Det. Supt. K. McDonald, who called the fantasies “credible & true” before the investigation process had even begun, is still drawing a salary. As is the hapless boss of the Met, Hulk Hogan Hyphen Howe. And also DAC S. Redhouse, who clearly doesn’t believe in all that presumption of innocence crap.

Monday, 21 March 2016

Obtuse or just plain clueless?

If David Cameron really is “puzzled” by Iain Duncan Smith’s resignation from the job of Minister of Works, that confirms that he really is detached from both his party and reality, and we really need to Ditch Dave.

Man with plan

The president of the Congo has ordered a block on telecommunications on polling day, which will lead to his inevitable his re-election, to hinder efforts by election monitors to prevent vote-rigging. President Cameron is believed to be considering the same ploy for the EU referendum.

What does he know?

President O’Bummer is telling us to stay in the EU. But should we really take any notice of someone whose judgement is so bad that he spent St. Patrick’s Day cosying up to IRA terrorists?
    ● Over 100 MPs have written to O’Bummer via his ambassador to tell him to keep his beak out of our business.

Saturday, 19 March 2016


We already have no credible Opposition in the Commons. Looks like we're going to end up with no credible governing party either after the resignation of Iain Duncan Smith on top of the sidelining of the likes of Michael Gove.

Friday, 18 March 2016

O’besity cracked!

The secret of staying slim is . . . eat loud food. One of them there studies has found that the more noise people make when they’re munching through a meal, the quicker they feel full up. Especially if the food is loud enough to drown out the TV.

Bad political lying, Mr. Osborne, no one convinced

Chancellor Osborne has been found guilty of blatant abuse of his office by lying about the Office of Budget Responsibility’s position on Brexit from the EU. The OBR stated that it is not its job to take a position on Brexit but cited 2 external assessments in the statement; one saying our economy will do better in the EU and another stating that there will be a 13% improvement if we leave. Osborne, of course, quoted the first case study and ignored the inconvenient other one in a really rather crude and obvious attempt at misrepresentation.
    Looks like he’s trying to position himself as the heir to Blair and Cameron!

Thursday, 17 March 2016

Political Pipe Dreams

What is the point of having fantasies about building amazing new electric railways when you have no plans to build the power stations needed to supply them with the electricity to make them scurry along the new tracks?

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Putin posturing revisited

Our defence secretary, P. Hammond, has come up with an interesting take on Vlad hijo de Putin’s decision to pull some of his illegally parked air force out of Syria. He’s saying Vlad is acting like a wife-beating husband who has (temporarily?) stopped doing it.
 ● People working in Syrian hospitals or sending kids to Syrian schools can’t feel safe yet as all of the planes haven’t gone and Putin plans to keep on bombing.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Putin posturing

President Putin is getting fed up with his puppet, Assad. Having shown some token support for his lame duck, he’s now going home with his football and taking his air force out of Syria. Which will let the local rebels take back the ground they lost in the last few months to remind Assad whose pocket he’s in. And send more migrants to Europe, of course.

Monday, 14 March 2016

LOL (Lots of Love, Dave)

Davy Boy Cameron is aiming a PR carpet-bombing campaign at regional newspapers with form letters saying: “I love (insert country name) . . .” in a bid to pretend that he cares about the little people out in the wilds that aren’t where he lives.

Please notice us, purl-ee-ee-eese!

Britain Stronger In Europe would have us believe that unemployment will shoot up to 4 million overnight if Britain votes leave the EU. No basis for the claim is offered, of course, and given that it will take at least 3 YEARS to extract the country from the embrace of the vampire squid, the claim looks like crystal-ball gazing with a squint.

Sunday, 13 March 2016

Save the NHS! From striking doctors!

Junior doctors held another of their strikes at the start of this month. Maybe they should get what's left of Arthur Scaregill to be their new president! He's a man with a similar track record for caring for the interests of the customers.

They have remarkably short generations in Scotland

Scotland had a “once in a generation” referendum on independence from the rest of the UK in 2014. The Gnats lost. The result was 46.7% voted NO, 37.7% voted YES and 15.6% Didn't Care. A couple of years later, the current leader of the SNP, Wee Burney Sturgeon, is banging the drum for another referendum to give the Scots a chance to get it right this time.
    Who does she think she is? The EU?

Friday, 11 March 2016

It’s a bit soon to be this desperate, Dave!

David Cameron’s latest Big Scare Story is that if we leave the Europeon Cult, the prices of gloves and socks will hit the roof.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Dream on, Dave

Despite D. Cameron’s protestations, his “deal” with the Europeon Cult IS NOT legally binding on institutions which didn’t sign up to it, such as the Europeon Court of Justice and the Euro Parliament. And the “deal” itself is nothing like the “Fundamental Change” that Dave promised in the first place.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Lock up all the CSIs?

Downing Street denied it in the usual weaselly PR fashion but the greasy fingerprints of one of Dave the Leader’s minions are all over the ousting of John Longworth from his job with the British Chambers of Commerce. Which makes it all the more strange that an outfit which claims to prize its neutrality, according to the Balls crony in charge, has done failed to sack leading members of the branches in Kent and Cornwall for coming out in support of the Europeon Cult.

Next step for the franchise?

Coming to a TV near you, SOON!! Lor ‘n’ Orda: Trivial Victims Unit. Where do they send all the cops who are too stoopid to be out on their own but too well connected to be fired? Right here. Essential viewing for everyone who thinks the police couldn’t catch a cold and the bad guys get away every time because of it.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Project Fear = Project Stifle

John Longworth’s tenure as director general of the British Chambers of Commerce has been pushed on from suspension to resignation. The president of the BCC, former Ed Balls crony N. Senior, and David Cameron’s minions are all denying exerting undue back-stage pressure, but no one is taking much notice of their denials. Because, as has been stated elsewhere, free speech and democracy have nothing to do with the EU.

Free speech as long as you say what you're told to?

The EU’s leaders have had nothing at all to say about the Turkish government’s decision to close down the leading opposition newspaper and reopen it as another establishment mouthpiece. But then, the EU has never been all that bothered about free speech and democracy. Especially when being blackmailed over migration.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Project Fear strikes Scotland!

David Cameron is trying to get Scottish haggis farmers trembling in their boots with the silly story that they won’t be able to sell haggis in Europe because there will be GINORMOUS!! tariff barriers to the pudden trade.

Project Fear strikes again!

David Cameron’s quislings have got the head of the British Chambers of Commerce suspended for daring to say that Britain would be better off outside the EU. (Some crap about violation of neutrality policy, apparently, plus a ton and a half of hypocrisy.) So much for openness and honest debate.

Friday, 4 March 2016

Desperado Dave!

Dave is getting really desperate. He’s swanning around Europe – at our expense – getting all sorts of dodgy characters, like French ministers, to join his Project Fear. Dover to be swamped by migrants following a Brexit? Not if they’re not allowed off the boat and the ferry operator is fined £2,000 for each passenger without a valid visa. Bankers leaving Britain to take refuge in France’s “sick man of Europe” economy? Yeah, right, Dave!

Thursday, 3 March 2016

All sewn up?

So Super Tuesday has demolished the opposition and it’s Donald Trump vs Hilarious ‘It’s my turn now’ Clinton in a head-to-head for the White House. Given the generally appalling nature of the Clinton woman, and the number of bodies, it doesn’t look like a difficult choice.

Rules are pointless . . .

. . . if they’re administered by idiots. Like the teachers at a primary school in Upton, who shopped him as a terrorist to Wirral council’s social services when an 8-year-old kid wrote about wanting to fight terrorists after being told, during a lesson, what they’re doing in Syria.
    Teachers used to have at least 2 brain cells to rub together. Not any more, apparently. Something else we have to thank New Labour for.

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Arson around!

Migrants in the Jungle at Calais set fire to their shacks and shelters to prevent bulldozers from clearing the site? Sounds like a really wonderful and highly effective tactic. Not.

Same bunch of guys

I’ve just been reading something set at the time of the French Revolution, which made me realize that there’s little difference between the Terror back then and the Holocaust during the Nazi era. The same mentality was there in 18th century France but the Nazis had the better technology for accomplishing mass murder. That’s something to remember on the next Bastille Day.


By the time the conditions of Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty have unfolded following a British request to be released from the shackles of the EU, we’ll be at the autumn of 2018 and Dave the Leader will be history! He’ll have gone, or be on his way out, to let the next Tory leader be putin (yes, it’s a typo but an apt one) place a decent time before the 2020 general election.