Friday, 30 June 2017

Another expense

Laundry bills for the official version of the British national flag are expected to rocket should J. Corbyn ever become prime minister. White flags are notoriously difficult to keep clean.

Nice work if you can get it!

I’ve just read that George Osborne, the sacked Tory Chancellor, is paid £650K for working one day a week. And that set me wondering: does he get to choose which week he does his day’s work in? If that’s so, I bet it’s not Xmas week.

They’re all sinister

If the BBC makes no secret about being the voice of the Labour party, why all the surprise about  Fuc* Jo* Sno* and Channel 4 doing the same?

It’s all about the money

NICE, the alleged health watchdog, wants fines imposed on drivers who leave their engine ticking over near a school, hospital or care home when they are transporting passengers. Which sends the message the NICE doesn’t care about people being poisoned by exhaust emissions as long as some cash goes into the till. Maybe this poisonous body should be obliged to change its name to NASTY.

“I were just doing wot he done!”

Should we be excited by the spectacle of 50 or so Labour MPs voting against the official party line? Not really if they were just following the lengthy and inglorious example of their party’s current leader.

Thursday, 29 June 2017


The Department of Trade & Industry has issued a warning that the world faces a major shortage of asterisks following an epidemic of profanity among left-wing politicians and their supporters, especially those fulfilling (anti-social) media roles.
    The situation is exacerbated by left-wingers who went to public schools showing off their education by using polysyllabic invective, such as o********** and g************, and their habit of stringing together bad language with hyphens, as c****-*****d-t*****.
    The British asterisk industry, meanwhile, is working hard to bridge the gap and asks the public to be patient during temporary shortages and to beware of cheap and defective asterisks imported from China.

Not too much of a burden

Most of the Hillsborough 6 are being threatened with life imprisonment (if convicted of multiple manslaughter) as the nation’s news meeja leap over the top following the news that charges have been laid. But given the age of some of them, the taxpayer won’t have to fork out too much for giving them bed and board if the trial and the appeals go all the way to the worst-case scenario.

Not me, Gov!

Putting cheap & cheerful, if flammable, cladding on public buildings and ending compulsory fire brigade inspections were policies brought in by the Labour party. J. Corbyn, of course, is claiming that he had no part in them and he is citing his long and undistinguished history of voting against his party as proof.

Wednesday, 28 June 2017

A weighty matter

Another thing the Labour party is banging on about is poverty. And yet official figures from the NHS show that 50% of young adults are overweight or obese. It would seem that there’s plenty of cash about to stoke up the nation’s fatties.
    And Labour’s claim that everyone existing in poverty (apart from J. Corbyn and his shadow cabinet) has been struck another blow by the EU, which has found that Britain has the lowest rate of long-term poverty in the club and that Brits are No. 1 when it comes to hauling themselves out of the dumps.
    It would appear that only those with a vested interest in making the claim; Labour, Oxfam, et al; are calling Britain a nation of paupers.

Invisible mail

700,000 NHS letters were dumped in a warehouse instead of being delivered by a private contractor. We are now being assured that no patients were harmed by this amazing example of incompetence. Which leaves me wondering how much it cost to do the tests and write the letters if not getting the results had no effect on the health of the patients concerned.
    Naturally, the original contract was a product of Gordon Brown’s premiership, but we’re not supposed to remember Labour’s ventures into NHS privatization, like the ruinously expensive Broon PPI projects.

Just a slight difference

Labour is making much of the deal between the Tories and the DUP, which will cost the taxpayer £1 billion in extra grants for Ulster. Not a cheep out of them about the price of putting J. Corbyn in Downing Street, which includes hitting the taxpayer for £40 billion as the cost of abolishing and repaying student tuition fees.

Bin it, lady!

Wee Burney Sturgeon has been forced to put her plan to become Queen of Scotland on hold. She has finally grasped the message that the voters are just not interested in another independence referendum and they want her to get on with doing the job she’s paid to do, especially fixing the education system which the SNP has broken so badly.

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

A failure of trust

The incoming head of the BMA is claiming that the Tories are making the NHS fail as part of an evil plan to privatize it to the benefit of for-profit companies. Let us draw a veil over the number of former Labour ministers currently milking the for-profit sector and concentrate on the issue of failure because now, patients have to start wondering about the person who is treating them.
    Is their doctor doing his/her best to make the patient well again? Or is that doctor deliberately making the treatment fail to support the BMA’s contention that the NHS is failing because that’s what the government wants?
    Is that apparently sympathetic person with the stethoscope a caring medical professional or a wild-eyed political fanatic, who doesn’t care how many people have to die if it’s serving the cause of getting the Tories out of government?
    The outgoing head of the BMA has declared that the incoming is talking tripe, confirming that what we’re getting from another left-wing trade union leader is just politics rather than fact.

Monday, 26 June 2017

Go to the money

J. Corbyn seems to have a really weird idea of who the ‘dispossessed’ are. He seems to think they’re the people who were dispossessed of hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds to gain entry to the Glastonbury music festival, with optional glamping and lots of fences and security to exclude the riff-raff. Well, most of it!

Tell them anything; some might believe it

On the one hand, we have the warmists yelling that the third week of this month was the hottest in the whole history of the universe. On the other, there are temperature records showing that there have been over a dozen hotter weeks over the last 140 years.

Reaped consequences

The only saving grace of the millennial buttercups putting Jeremy Corbyn into Downing Street  and his dotty gang into power is that the buttercups will be struck with the consequences when they are old and the country is too broke to pay them a pension, and all today’s oldies will be dead and gone long before the wheels come off.

La même chose

French voters will be delighted to know that their new president’s new political party is observing the traditions of the past. M. MacRon is having to sack his ministers left, right and centre for good, old-fashioned corruption and doing favours for pals. Just like in the good old days of the now vanished traditional parties.

There's always cash for something daft

When the Sussex police farce starts pleading poverty and ‘The Cuts’, don't take any notice. The Chief Constable is quite happy to spend money on converting police cars into rainbow clown cars in the name of diversity.

Labour Myths No. 1,859: Austerity

Between 2010 and 2016, with G. Osborne in charge, the national debt grew by 75% from Gordon Broon's £1,000 BILLION to £1,700 BILLION because Osborne lied. There was no real attempt to reduce public spending. It just carried on and on.

Sunday, 25 June 2017

Corbynites Explained

The Daily Mail's 'Mind Doctor', the psychiatrist Dr. Max, has come up with a fancy term for the lefties who post hatred on anti-social meeja sites: Festinger's deindividualization theory in operation. Put directly, that's plain, old-fashioned mob rule. People who know better feel free to behave vilely and release their inner nutter as part of a mob.
    Also in the Mail was a 2-page article about Labour's campaign of fake news, hate postings on anti-social meeja and downright fabrications during the election. But naturally, all right-thinking people know the Mail made it up, right?
    Help! I've been Festingerized!

Vested & Panted Interest

Police chiefs are demanding more cash to put guns in to the hands of more police officers. They are also saying they would struggle to contain riots on the scale of those held in London in 2011. Lest we forget, those riots were incited following the death of usual suspect Mark Duggan at the hands of an armed police officer. Which invites the question: Is giving more cops guns really such a good idea?

Confected Outrage No. 813

Oh, dear. The truth is out. The BBC deliberately packs its political shows; like the Dimbleby Questions Show; with looney lefties just so that it can put on a display of fake indignation when one of them blows a fuse.

Bank Baloney

How strange that the bankers who prevented Barclays from going bust and needing a bail-out from the taxpayer are being prosecuted whilst the ones who drove HBoS, Lloyds and the RBS into the ground, and Gordon Brown who helped them to do it, are all enjoying fat pensions and under no threat of being sent to gaol. Or maybe it's just further proof that the Universe hates us.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

They don’t get it

The rump EU is moaning that Britain won’t let their Court of Injustice have the final say on the deal for mutual migrants. But just how stupid would you have to be to fail to realize that Brexit is about escaping from all of the EU’s institutions? Bad faith at all stages seems to be the hallmark of the Europeon Union.

Homespun philosophy

On a cold winter’s day, there’s nothing like sitting in front of your TV and enjoying the warm, ruddy glow coming of the Outraged Left. But it gets a bit much, having to put up with it in the summer, too.

Friday, 23 June 2017

Purely PR

When we hear “police are considering . . .” in relation to the Grenfell Tower conflagration, what are we supposed to think? That lots of bad guys connected with it are about to be busted? Or is it just giving the appearance that something positive is happening when we just know that the whole thing is going to fizzle out on some technicality?

Creating their own problem

Why are head teachers moaning about cash-starved schools when lots of them are taking home over £100,000 per annum? Is it not obvious where the cash is going?

Thursday, 22 June 2017

The rehab worked, then?

Former prime ministerial hopeful Edstone Miliband skived off from the Queen’s Speech to talk about how much water dual-flush toilets waste to a (dwindling?) lunchtime radio audience. Eddie seems to have overcome his own revulsion for MPs having second jobs, which was one of his hobby horses just a couple of years ago.

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

I don’t get this

If the outraged Lefty Looneytunists won the last election, as they claim, why do they need a day of Outrage to overthrow the government on the day of the Queen’s speech? After all, if they won the election then the government is . . . them!

Brain switched off

Bank of England Gov. M. Carney has said that we will be finding out if Brexit is a gentle stroll to a land of cake and consumption. Maybe someone should mention to the clot that ‘consumption’ is a lay-person’s term for tuberculosis – a consummation devoutly not to be wished!

That’s why the government has BIG drains

The news that one of David Cameron’s flagship policies has sunk; a £3.7B campaign to discourage gaoled criminals from continuing to prey on others; confirms an eternal political truth: that most grand government plans will founder on the rock of the incompetence of the people appointed to deliver the policy.

A man at his natural level

Edstone Miliband, who was sure he was going to be prime minister just a couple of years ago, has found a job that suits him – talking about how much water dual-flush toilets waste to a (dwindling?) lunchtime radio audience.

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

It ain’t half hot

It’s the hottest it has been for 20 years, and tomorrow could be the hottest day for 40 years in the south of England which, we’re supposed to believe, is the only bit that matters.
    Global warming is going to kill us all! Panic!!!

Everyone doing their job

The head of the nation, the Queen, did hospital visiting after the Grenfell Tower fire.
    The head of the government, Mrs. May, got to grips with what needed to be done for the survivors in the immediate short term and also what needed to be done in the long term.
    The head of the Opposition, J. Corbyn, went out schmoozing the survivors as if they were terrorists whilst trying to further his own political agenda.
    The head of the nation’s 3rd largest political party at Westminster didn’t get involved as the fire took place in England, which is a long way from Edinburgh.

Monday, 19 June 2017

Real rage or just an excuse for rioting and looting?

The sight of Corbyn’s foot-soldiers trying to whip up a mob with their Day of Rage makes me glad the Mansion is a long way from London. I’m not sure I’d appreciate a pack of Corbynies marching in, not bothering to wipe their feet, of course, and announcing that they were taking over the place. And by the way, don’t bother to pack as we’re having everything; bricks and mortar and contents, as some comrades need to upgrade their TVs.

What is austerity all about?

Is it: a) something the Tories are doing to the nation as an act of deliberate cruelty?
b) an attempt to get government spending back close to the government’s income after the last Labour governments deliberately spent the nation deep into debt?

Interested take on it

Some of the reporters doing the story of the matador who came second in a bull fight have written it up as a sort of sports report, implying that the bull has some sort of a chance. So it’s not really a form of ritual slaughter, in which blokes on horses stick blades into the bull’s neck to make its head droop so that the matador can stab it in the back of the neck to kill it? Well, fancy me missing something so obvious.

Pull the other one, Phil

The Chancellor, P. Hammond, is claiming that if he’d been allowed to run the election campaign instead of being sidelined, the Tories would have won big. But does anyone other than him think that the public would have warmed to such a miserable Dalek git?

Sunday, 18 June 2017

You live and learn

The Americans really have the planet covered with their spy satellites! According to the closing episode of series 14 of NCIS on Friday evening, the spies in the sky were able to home in on a sailor who had gone rogue in Paraguay, and spot that he was missing a hand, which had been found earlier in the episode.
    Makes you scared to poke your nose out of doors!

Friday, 16 June 2017

A sense of proportion

There are claims being made that old Corbyn won the PR war in Kensington yesterday when the leaders of the government and the opposition made state visits to the burnt-out tower block. But let us not forget that Mrs. May is expected to do something about it and she was there to gather facts. Corbyn, who lost the election, was there just for the photo-opportunity.

Thursday, 15 June 2017

Blame game

If Jeremy Corbyn is going to claim that the fire was a result of austerity, then the blame belongs to his Labour party, which spent the nation deep into debt and made austerity, i.e. living within the nation’s means, necessary. And it was Labour party regulations which put the cladding on the building, while we’re pointing fingers.

What are they on?

According to the BBC news, the prime minister has ‘called for’ an inquiry into the London tower block fire, which is garbage. She’s in charge and she can order an inquiry to be held; she doesn’t have to ‘call for’ them like someone standing on the sidelines.

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

What sort of people do they think they are admitting?

The geniuses in charge of Cambridge U. have banned the use of terms like genius, brilliant and flair when staff are communicating with students because they think female students won’t understand what these words mean and automatically assume that they (the girls) are being oppressed because of their sex.

The bribe-me generation

Did younger voters opt for Crazee Corbyn’s Magic Money Tree manifesto because they’re idealistic? Or was it because he offered them something for nothing and they didn’t twig that he had no hope of delivering? Maybe they should raise the voting age to 35, just to be on the safe side. And maybe include a marbles count.

A new explanation for global warming

It seems that extensive studies world-wide have found that one-third of the population is now officially overweight, which rather torpedoes the alarmist claims of food shortages. Clearly, distribution is the problem rather than production.
    But coming back to the point: researchers have concluded that as the population grows in mass, the Earth is slowing down in its mad dash through space and spiralling in closer to the Sun. Thus global warming is a direct result of our closer proximity to our star, and the remedy is obvious; mass dieting.

Put up or shut up

Former prime minister J. Major is claiming that many people voted Leave in the EU referendum for reasons entirely unconnected with Brexit. To which I reply: “How do you know?” and also: “Name them.”

Thanks, but no, thanks!

Why does the Movies 24 TV channel think we want Xmas films all through July? It’s not as if suffering now means that there’s a chance we’ll be spared another helping of exactly the same stuff in December.

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Lest we forget . . .

Most of the senior (in the sense of having been there a long time, no matter how useless) Labourites who are calling Mrs. May’s accommodation with Ulster’s Unionists a ‘dangerous disgrace’ were party to Gordon effin’ Broon’s attempts to do a deal with the DUP to cling on to power in 2010. But then, if you’re called Campbell or Balls, you do expect nothing other than hypocrisy.
    And ’Orrible Ed Miliband tried the same trick in 2015. But that’s way too long ago for anyone to remember in the grubby world of political lies.

Don’t you just wish . . .

that one of the politicians going in or out of 10 Downing Street would respond to the inevitable yell by turning to the meeja pack and saying, “Don’t you just wish that loud-mouthed twats like him would learn some manners?”

WFA safe!

One good thing came out of the election – the Winter Fuel Allowance is safe, as the minority Scots Tories and the Ulster Unionists won’t wear Mrs. May’s plan to withhold it from everyone not claiming pension credit, which would have left pensioners who have savings but an income below the threshold for the starting rate of income tax not getting the WFA when the feckless who never saved did get it.

Monday, 12 June 2017

Pay cut

The election has really upset the nation’s peers and they are desperate to avoid another one. Why? Because whilst Parliament is in recess, they can’t turn up at the House of Frauds, sign in and slope off with 300 quid.

Equality vs Diversity

If the Oxford U first degree equality scam takes off, we can expect a big rise in the number of male students opting to do a gender swap for the duration of their course so that they can have equal opportunities cheating rights for their exams!

What’s the reverse of decimated?

T. Farron, the teenage leader of the Liberals, had his majority slashed from 8,000 to under 800. That’s what the electorate think of him. Over 90% gone. Is that nonaginated?

Action and reaction

The Trump decision to put a hold on his state visit to the UK has been met with dismay in the ranks of the looney left, who were hoping to tag on some arson and looting to their anti-Trump riots.

The need for faux equality

Oxford University has come up with a way to achieve gender equality in first degrees. Currently, women are less like to get a history first than men. Accordingly, the university has decided to let women take the exam at home to make them feel more comfortable. And if that devalues the female first degree because women will have the opportunity to cheat, that’s just a price they’ll have to pay for their faux equality.

Should anyone take G. Osborne seriously?

Given that everything he says about the prime minister is sour grapes about the woman who sacked him, the answer is no. She’s got the job he wanted, he knows he’s never going to be prime minister and he’s being eaten up inside by poisoned envy.
    Boy George was useless as the Chancellor, his Project Fear was a huge flop and he was useless as a constituency MP because he was never there, having half a dozen other jobs to keep him away from his constituency.
    About all he’s good at seems to be persuading idiots to give him lots of money to hear his nutty ideas. Which is a truly marvellous talent, but the ideas themselves remain tripe.

He’ll be washing his hair

President Trump has told the prime minister that he’s not going to state visit the UK until the local yobs have acquired some manners. Which gets him off the hook nicely.
    Maybe he should invade somewhere or sponsor some terrorist attacks in British cities to endear himself to the looney left.

Sunday, 11 June 2017

He’s a hero?

The Labour loonies have some extraordinary heroes. Take Arthur Scaregill, for instance. For the benefit of new Labour voters, who don’t know any history as far back as the 1980s, he was the trade union leader who tried to undermine the Iron Lady and got his arse kicked into touch. And which union was he president of? The miners’ union. And what were they doing at the time? Digging up coal to be burnt in power stations to generate electricity and produce carbon dioxide. In other words, he was responsible for Global Warming!!!
    Scaregill was destroying the planet and yet he’s a Labour hero. Like the present Labour leader, who’s never met a terrorist he couldn’t hug. Odd lot, these Labourites.

Shape up, you rotter!

Hammond, the current Chancellor of the Exchequer, reckons he’s pretty fireproof now, but he’s going to have to polish his act to survive. He comes across as another Mr. Woolsey of the civilian oversight committee for the Stargate programme: he knows the monetary cost of everything and he doesn’t even consider the human cost, except in terms of pounds and pence. He is definitely not party leader material.

Yes, they do have no shame

The Scottish police were supposed to be cracking down on anti-social behaviour at the World Cup qualifier, but there was no sign of the snipers taking out the Neds who booed the national anthem. Maybe the England team should have sung that verse about ‘rebellious Scots to crush’ in response.
    Still, it was one up the kilt for the scumbags when England got that extra time equalizer after two stunningly brilliant free kicks put the Scots ahead. As top of their group, England weren’t bothered about a draw whilst the Scots desperately needed to win.

Saturday, 10 June 2017

The New Labour mentality lives on!

The police in Grimbsy hauled a man to court charged with possessing an offensive weapon, namely a sharply pointed pencil. The court tossed the charge out on its ear, pointing out that a pencil doesn’t work if it doesn’t have a sharp point.

As the dust settles, what now?

Theresa May is looking severely damaged. Her election campaign blew a lead, which was probably nowhere near as huge as the polls said, because it dragged on for too long and she failed to focus on the real issues. Is she going to be able to keep going for a while or will she be gone by Xmas? We’ll just have to find out.
    As for Jeremy Corbyn, his position as Labour leader looks secure but there’s a lot of back-biting going on under the surface and he is still a loser – he didn’t even come close to winning the election, even under a system which has a built-in bias to Labour. He still thinks there’s a magic money tree and he’s still a scumbag who can’t meet a terrorist without wanting to hug him.
    The Liberals are nothing much and the SNP is on the wane. After a decade in charge of Scotland, during which they claimed to be focussed on education and public services, they have proved that they are as incompetent and as incapable of delivering as Scottish Labour was.

What next? Trees?

A lawyer in the United States has tried to argue that chimpanzees should have human rights. A court in New York told him no, and when he went to the appeal court, he got the same answer. Probably something to do with chimps being chimps, not humans.

Friday, 9 June 2017

Can we live with majority Tory rule?

Probably. Not having a majority is going to keep Theresa May looking over her shoulder and it should force her to curb her arrogant tendencies. Corbyn is still an also ran, even if Labour supporters are keeping the party going at a chug-along level until he’s replaced by someone credible. The Liberals will need 3 taxis instead of 2 but they’re still irrelevant. The SNP have lost nearly half of their MPs, so Wee Burney Sturgeon is a busted flush. And UKIP are as irrelevant as the Greens.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

Jobsworth Britain

Traffic wardens were slapping tickets on abandoned cars within minutes of the lifting of the police cordon around the area where Saturday’s terrorist attacks took place in London . . .

Gummed by non-entities

Today’s Daily Mail offered extracts from resignation letters sent by Labour shadow ministers to J. Corbyn after he was elected Labour’s new president**. The thing that struck me was how few of the names were familiar. “Unknown minister resigns in a huff”. Big deal.

**172 went but 33 crawled back on to the front bench in search of extra wages.

Double disappointment

If you’re bald, whatever you do, don’t go to Mozambique. The nutters there think that gold is to be found in the heads of bald men, and they are ready and willing to cut heads off in search of it.

Not exactly Ali class!

The teabag has been declared the Greatest Invention of All Time by English Heritage. The wheel came second. The fridge was third in the poll, but maybe that should have been the bridge. Boats and sails don’t even get a mention in the top ten. Or bread.

What do we know about Lord Sugar?

Firstly, that he had to pay 58.646 million quid to the Inland Revenue in January, as proved by a partially redacted cheque, which he offered online. Secondly, that he doesn’t know how to spell forty.

Shoddy production values

Don’t you just hate it when the people making a TV series episode about a lost Van Go, like last night’s 6 p.m. helping of Leverage, produce something rolled up with the paint on the inside?

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Even Worse!!

Expensive wholemeal bread is no better for the consumer than cheap white stuff, according to the latest survey. Examination of test subjects found no difference in terms of their gut bacteria and the level of nutrients in their blood.

Fake benefits

We’re still getting spivvy travel agent TV adverts with someone with a mumsy voice whispering, “ATOL protected” at the end – as if being in business and not being signed up to ATOL were an option.
    They might as well tell us that their holidays are “gravity protected” against sudden surges in the planet’s gravity, which will flatten the customer like a pancake, or sudden drops in gravity, which will hurl the customer into outer space. Who knows, maybe that’s the next fake benefit!

Amazing! Organic is nothing special

The Advertising Standards Authority has put the boot in to claims by organic farmers that their methods are good for the land. Various studies have shown that organic fruit and vegetables have no special merits as far as taste and food value are concerned. Now, the methods used to produce these vanity products have been ruled equally vain.

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

A tax for its time

There has been some opposition to the suggestion of a tax on Moslems (purely from Moslems and people hoping to buy their votes) to pay the costs of anti-terrorism policing and dealing with the aftermath of terrorist attacks. But the government could announce that the Moslem Tax is a purely temporary measure, which is being introduced only for the duration of the emergency.
    Just as income tax was a purely temporary measure introduced when Britain was under threat of invasion by the evil French, who were in the grip of the dictator Napoleon Bonaparte.

The clue is in the eyes

I was struck by the superficial resemblance between the official US prisoner shots of Tiger Woods after he was picked up for being zonked in charge of a motor vehicle and the pictures in today’s newspaper of the dead Islamist murderer Butt. There’s the same blank-eyed zombie stare; the one from a mix of prescription drugs and the other, presumably, from smoking cannabis, which the Liberals are so strangely eager to promote.

Monday, 5 June 2017

Make the bad guys pay

What we need is a Moslem UK Residence Tax, which would be payable initially at a rate of £10/Moslem/month. The money will be collected and stored by HM Treasury, ready for distribution to cover the costs arising when Islamists commit acts of terror. The fund would cover the cost of treatment and compensation for victims, repair of structures, policing, incarceration of terrorists, security precautions to minimize further outrages, etc.
    If there is a surplus at the end of an accounting period, the cash could be used as a Fabric Fund to benefit Moslem institutions, e.g. mosques, schools and community centres. If there is a deficit, the tax will be increased to an appropriate level.
    Any Moslem who finds the tax offensive will, of course, be free to leave the country at his/her earliest opportunity.

Trump’s Zero-Impact choice

Under the Paris Accord, then President O'Bummer promised to give billions of American taxpayers’ dollars to China and India, who would be allowed to go ahead and build hundreds of coal-fired power stations. How that is a good deal for America, or even for the imaginary entity Planet Earth, was never revealed.
    President Trump’s decision to walk away from the whole scam has to be good for America and it has no effect on the health of the imaginary patient Planet Earth, which will continue to be poisoned, according to the warmists themselves and with their whole-hearted consent, by China and India.

Wealth creates wealth

The Bank of England is shredding old tenners and turning them into compost as new plastic notes are due to come into circulation soon. Prime-minister-in-waiting J. Corbyn is believed to have ordered several lorryloads of the shreds to put some life into his Magic Money Tree.

Sunday, 4 June 2017

Wimp City

Another of these famous studies has found that Oldies have stiff upper lips, they’re tougher, and they are much better at dealing with pain than Youngies in their 20s. If this wimp factor is cascading down the generations, Dog knows what the next batch of Youngies will be like!

Nul Points for originality

It seems French President MacRon’s fatuous “make the planet great again” global-warming sound bite was a steal from President Trump’s “Make America Great Again” election slogan.
    All we need now is an explanation of when the demented Frog thinks the planet was great in the past. Perhaps he’d like to turn the clock back to when the sun never set on the British Empire.

How do you know you’ve made the right decision?

In President Trump’s case, Hollywood luvvies are sounding off about his decision to turn off the global warming cash tap in the United States as well as the usual political suspects. And if the luvvies are upset, Trump has to have got it right.

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Just how daft do they think we are?

On the TV news yesterday, I heard some ‘expert’ say that (heavily subsidized) electricity from occasionals, like solar arrays and wind turbines, is cheaper than power from coal- or gas-fired power stations. Really? Next thing you know, the Global Warming Fraudsters will be telling us that occasionals are more reliable than the always available power from power stations using fossil fuels.
    And another thing: trees are renewables because you can chop them down and plant more to replace them. But turning them into compressed wood pellets and shipping them thousands of miles to replace coal in power stations will always be an utterly daft idea.

Post-election prediction

The motor vehicle industry will enjoy a boom after the Corbyn Calamitous Coalition takes office. Why? Because the railways will be effectively on permanent strike. The rail unions, which pay Mr. Corbyn’s way, will insist on huge pay rises and the railway staff will be too shagged out after collecting their enormous pay packets actually to be bothered doing any work.

Sturgeon is history

When Mr. Corbyn wins the election by forming a Chancers’ Coalition with Wee Burney Sturgeon’s Gnats, the first thing he’ll do is give her IndyRef2. Knowing that when she’s trounced, he’ll be the only man left sitting in the leadership limo. How exceedingly cunning!

Friday, 2 June 2017

Hidden reality

Sacked Liberal leader N. Clegg thinks that legalizing cannabis will improve public health. Close examination of his assertion reveals the political truth behind it – namely that demand for the NHS will appear to fall because people will be too stoned to go to their doctor.

What’s all this crap about defending the planet?

What is Angular Merkel talking about? “Protecting the planet Earth”? And President MacRon: “Make our planet great again”?? What is the guy on, for heck’s sake. They’re talking about the planet which has been covered by volcanoes, ice and dinosaurs in its 5,000 million-year history, and it’s due to suffer for another 5,000 million years until the Sun turns into a red giant and swallows up everything out to the orbit of Mars. What are these two heroes doing to prevent that? one wonders.

Bias goes with the Beeb

Is anything likely to come from Tory complaints that the BBC is biased toward Labour and other lefty fringes? Not really. Despite the abundant evidence of bias from recent election programmes, nothing will change until everyone at the BBC is sacked on the spot and the corporation is rebuilt using fair-minded people.

The art of the possible

It is indeed true that you can fit someone up for absolutely anything if you try real hard. Thus theGrauniad is trying to pretend that the FBI is after former UKIP leader N. Farage for helping the Russians to get President Trump elected. Useful idiots everywhere are swallowing the story whole and jumping up and down with glee. At least the exercise will do them a bit of good.

A man of his word

Great wailing and gnashing of teeth among the warmists and their useful idiots. President Trump has fulfilled his promise to take the US out of the Paris global warming deal because it is damaging to American prosperity, promoting unemployment in the US and denying America the right to produce cheap energy from its own natural resources while they last.

Thursday, 1 June 2017

Radical but effective?

It has been suggested that the £200 fine for using a phone whilst driving is not enough and that the phone should be confiscated and crushed to discourage the offender. Confiscating and crushing the car would drive the point home even deeper.

Lost and not found

The police are looking for the Manchester Arena bomber’s blue suitcase. Have they tried British Airways?

Just amazing

Surprise! All the Labour propaganda about Tory cuts to the NHS is based on lies. The National Institute of Economic & Social Research has found that spending on the NHS is at its highest level ever and so are patient satisfaction levels.
    The only problem on the horizon is that the NHS monster is going to gobble up more zillions than you can shake a stick at if it doesn’t receive root and branch reform.