Sunday, 29 September 2013

More NHS crapola

The morons running the NHS in Scotland have decided to ban a couple of offensive descriptions – “family doctor” and “elderly”. No doubt the genius who made the decision is in line for a big bonus.

Saturday, 28 September 2013

More flim-flam

The United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has issued another of its dodgy dossiers, in which it makes reduced claims in the wake of “mistakes” and outright fraud in previous dossiers. The latest dossier quotes “certainty” levels based on computer models which fail to predict what happens in the real world and continues to make claims that mankind is causing global warming without offering any evidence. The Global Warming Swindlers are also continuing to pretend that some people don’t believe that climate change is real when what people really won’t believe is that taxing carbon dioxide and paying bogus green taxes will have the slightest effect on the Earth’s climate.

A bit late, Dave

D. Cameron would have us believe that he supports marriage, unlike the Liberals, and he’s making good on a promise to give married couples a tax break. But it rings rather hollow if he’s left it to the last month of the very last gasp of the Coalition: April 2015. And everyone knows it was arm-twisting by the real Tories in his party that really made it happen.

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Nice one, Ed.

The boy Milipede’s desperate urge to get himself noticed has booted pensioners in the wallet by wiping £2 billion off the value of those members of the Big 6 energy companies, which are listed on the British stock exchange and in pension fund portfolios. It has also reminded everyone that when he was Energy Secretary, Milipede’s bogus green taxes helped New Labour to double the price of gas and electricity. And also that his plan to cap energy prices would be illegal under EU rules, so it was all just hot air for the comrades.

Unanswered questions

The boy Miliband’s allegation that this is the slowest recovery from economic catastrophe in 100 years invites the observation that if things are improving exceedingly slowly, the New Labour government, of which old Milipede was the Energy Minister and responsible for all sorts of bogus green taxes, must have done a spectacular job of trashing the British economy. We are also left wondering: “How often has the Labour party trashed the British economy?” and “Will be economy be fixed before another Labour government starts trashing it again?”

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

Desperation tactic

What do you do when everyone thinks you’re hopeless and no one takes you seriously? Red Ed Milipede chose to come up with the biggest load of commie fanny he could manage and unloaded it on his party conference. Natch, it will all be forgotten by the time the next general election comes around, so it’s a wonder he didn’t toss in a promise to annex the Sudetenland as extra building land.

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

This takes the biscuit

Is there anyone in the country who believes that E. Ballsup had no idea what the sleaze doctor D. McBride was doing for Wee Gordie Broon? Not even Ballsup himself. So why tell the lie? Must be a sign of a deep-seated psychological flaw.

Monday, 23 September 2013

Not me, Gov!

Dave the Leader lost a lot of support from Real Tories by wasting time and money on shoving homosexual marriage through Parliament. But relief is in sight. The Milibandits are now claiming it was all their doing, so Dave can look innocent and pretend he was nowhere near the disaster when it happened.

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Bang! One foot, one bullet in it!

A school in Cumbria thought it would be really cute to have a turf eco-roof and be terribly green. Unfortunately, bugs bred in the turf, they invaded the school and started biting the kids, and the school is now shut so that the bugs can be exterminated.

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Grows on trees, doesn’t it?

The government plans to ban smoking in prisoners to stop spivs making compensation claims for imaginary effects of passive smoking. So that’s £11,000,000 of taxpayers’ cash to be spent on nicotine patches. And as that’s just the cost of treating the current prison population, there will be more and more millions needed for new convicts and back-sliders. But the taxpayer has a bottomless pocket, right?

Another weird judge

The decision by Judge K. Cutler to ordered a 20-second silence during the inquest on a dead gangster raised some interesting issues. It suggests that Mark Duggan, a member of one of Britain’s worst gangs, wasn’t worth the traditional full minute. Cynics are also suggesting that he wouldn’t even have got the 20 seconds if he had been white.

Friday, 20 September 2013

How to please no one

Surprise! Even theGrauniad, which launched a war against the News of the World on a lie – just like Tony B. Liar’s war on Iraq, thinks that Lord Leveson’s inquiry into Press regulation is the worst of all worlds and a charter for people with dodgy claims (like the ones that got the NotW closed?) and ambulance-chasing lawyers. Which just goes to show; you don’t always get what you pay for.

Thursday, 19 September 2013

One with the dinosaurs

By choosing to focus his attention on trivialities, like same-sex marriage, Dave the Leader has reduced the membership of the Tory party by about one-half over the last eight years. If he remains in charge, the Tories will be extinct by 2021.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Which is it?

One minute, we’re being told there’s a property bubble, which will be disastrous for the economy and savers need to be swindled even more. The next, we’re told the bubble is just an illusion. Will the swindlers at Westminster kindly get their story straight?

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

It’s only taxpayers’ money

The 43 police “services” in England and Wales do the taxpayers the “service” of wasting £500 million of their equipment budget but refusing to organize national equipment purchasing. The prices they pay for pieces of equipment can vary by 400% and they can’t even decide how many pockets a police uniform should have.

Monday, 16 September 2013

Brilliant idea

The jobsworths running Rochdale council want the residents to recycle more. So their resident genius has come up with the idea of telling the binmen to look in all the recycle bins and give people a red tag if they find the wrong sort of refuse in the bin. Which is a typical public sector waste of money. It annoys the residents and it will annoy the binmen even more if they are slowed down and they don’t get a pay rise in compensation. Which will annoy the residents even more, having to pay more for a worse service. But hey, that’s what councils are all about.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Going, not to be missed much?

The RSPCA is on the verge of becoming an endangered species thanks to the insistence of the management on running politically motivated campaigns of persecution and prosecution. Donors have been turned off and it could be just a question of time before the charitable status goes bump.

Face saved for the moment

President O’Bummer’s deal with the Putinocracy has done both leaders a big favour. O’Bummer has avoided a Cameron-style defeat in Congress and Putin still has his client dictator in place and able to buy more guns & bomb for his war with the world’s worst Islamistas and others.

Friday, 13 September 2013

The grabbing goes on

Dave the leader promised that he would “cut the cost of politics” by getting to grips with MPs’ expenses. As a result, more of them are giving family members “jobs” at fancy, taxpayer-funded salaries and the total bill has gone up by 7% in the last year.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

We must be told

This champagne socialist from Brazil who decided she has a mission to rewrite Britain’s benfits rules: are we going to be told how many Brazilian refugees she interviewed during her Grand Tour? Because there’s about a quarter of a million of them hiding here instead of enjoying the lack of benefits and the slums in Brazil.

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

The Kerry Gaffe or the Kerry Ploy?

Did US Secretary of State John Kerry really goof when he suggested that taking Syria’s Weapons of Mass Destruction into UN custody would relieve the need to bomb the Assad regime back to the Stone Age? It got President O’Bummer off the hook with Congress. No need to lose a vote there now.

Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Even worse

There seems to be a big backlash against Prince Andrew in the meeja, which are trying to make out that he’s the rudest person on the planet. But if that is so, it makes the conduct of the two coppers who threatened him with guns even more heinous. Not talking the trouble to acquaint themselves with details of who at the Palace is likely to kick up the biggest stink if challenged just makes their neglect of duty all the more serious.

Monday, 9 September 2013

Why do only idiots get guns?

Coppers with guns at his family home, who didn’t know who Prince Andrew was and started screaming at him to lie down while waving their weapons at him. A pest control “expert” who shot a dog on a golf course thinking it was a rabbit. It makes you wonder.

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Some education called for?

Now that the affair has been covered up, the union Unite seems to think its members, who were accused of receiving the benefit of rigged voting in the Falkirk parliamentary constituency, are innocent of all wrong-doing. Clearly, Unite is refusing to grasp the difference between innocent and “the evidence was made to go away”.

Some demotions called for?

“Buckingham Palace has the best security in the world”, we are led to believe. Which makes it doubly difficult to understand how a couple of intruders can just stroll in and lark about. Sounds like we need an anti-bonus system in place to provide a negative reward for complacency and failure to do the job staff are paid to do.

Friday, 6 September 2013

Computers are endless aggro!

I’ve just been dealing with another spot of aggro from a newish computer. The first problem was the extended warranty. The website registered the laptop okay but it refused to recognize the activation code that came with the printed document, and it got the base warranty dates wrong. The whole mess had to be sorted out via emails to Lenovo. The latest bit of aggro was that internet access suddenly vanished. It turned out that the ZoneAlarm “free” firewall and antivirus had decided that its subscription had run out, it wanted to renew it and the only way that was possible was by going on-line. But ZoneAlarm was blocking access to the internet! The only solution to the problem turned out to be to boot ZoneAlarm into touch completely and install alternatives for anti-virus and firewall. So that was more time wasted on messing about, which could have been used for something much better.

Just typical!

The green shoots of recovery are barely breaking out of the ground and the fatcat bosses of the trade unions are already going strike-happy.

Thursday, 5 September 2013

We did see this one coming

If you want proof that people don’t get smarter the longer the human race manages to keep going, just bookmark one of the newspaper stories about people driving like idiots into the major shunt at the Sheppey crossing this morning despite thick fog.

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Should have seen it coming

Will the architect of the Walkie-Talkie Tower in London, and the outfit constructing it, be arrested for creating a public nuisance? You’d certainly expect that to happen if someone deliberately builds a concave solar-collector as the south-facing side of a new building and proceeds to melt cars parked at its focus and set fire to shop fittings in the street below. But we are talking about the world of big business.

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

How can it still be so?

The British public spent a collective 8,000 years listening to bad music on hold on the government’s premium-rate phone lines last year. But they’re still telling us the country is broke, despite making a TON of money out of this scam.

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Even dictators can show common sense

I rarely agree with Tsar Putin of all the Russias, but when he said it’s ridiculous for the US government to claim it has evidence that the Syrian regime used chemical weapons, but no one else can see the evidence because it’s secret, he hit the nail squarely on the head.


President O’Bummer lines up with the cheese-eating surrender monkeys, rattles his sabre furiously then suddenly decides to get Congress to share the blame instead of being 100% responsible for bombing Syria back to the Stone Age. As a result, nothing happens.