Predictable sleaze

Let’s face it, the New Year ‘honours’ list would be worthy of comment only if it wasn’t packed with scumbags, sleaze merchants, failed civil servants, quangocrats and politicians, and the dregs of the universe.

When you think about it, The Words Don't Add Up

If the government really bought the Great Global Warming Swindle, it knew that there would be more examples of extreme weather and more flooding. And yet the government chose to do nothing about it. Less than nothing, in fact – the budget for flood defences was cut. Doesn’t this amount to criminal neglect in a public office?

York flooded by the Environment Agency. Whose side are they on?

The evidence of the year-end is that if there are bad choices to be made, the government (of any complexion) will make them. If there is something that needs doing, the government will waste money on its cosmetic stuff and fail to spend it on anything useful. Thus we get decisions like not building adequate flood defences and opening the ones that are there, causing millions of pounds of damage to the city of York, which the taxpayer will have to cough up for.

Vote ‘Leave’ to get rid of Dave!

The prime minister is too closely wedded to the “European Project” to be an honest broker of the separation terms after Britain votes to leave the EU. Therefore, Dave will have to be ditched and replaced. That’s the logic of the situation.

Cameron signals end of Britain in EU

Following the collapse of his attempts to get a better deal for Britain, the prime minister has announced that he believes that the best future for Britain is in a reformed EU. As the EU has let the world know that reform just isn’t going to happen, the PM’s message is clear: namely, that Britain has no option but to leave the present EU and, perhaps, rejoin after its ramshackle structure has been rebuilt on sounder, more democratic lines with less scope for corruption.
    As a further sign that he sees no point in further negotiations with the EU, David Cameron is now pressing for a referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU as soon as possible, namely in July 2016, with a Brexit to follow immediately

Selectivity

We used to have the wrong sort of snow clogging up trains, much to the amusement of everyone who didn’t have to travel on that line. Now, we’re beset by the wrong sort of everything. Donald Trump, for instance, has been trolled for making the wrong sort of hate speech about Moslems. How strange that the trolls, and Moslems who make hate speeches about Britain, are somehow exempt from charges of denigratiousness.

A Paragon of Pointlessness

The world’s leaders have announced that they are going to save the planet by limiting any rise in global temperatures, which stopped going up in 1998, to less than 2 deg.C or, ideally, to less than 1.5 deg.C. How are they going to do this? By stopping the use of fossil fuels to cut the amount of carbon dioxide going into the atmosphere.
    One small problem: China and India are planning to increase their use of fossil fuels by amounts which will make totally irrelevant, any cosmetic gestures made by the First World. And will America and Europe really be willing to shell out $100 BILLION/year to the cess-pools of corruption and iniquity which make up the Third World. Oh, sure!
    Strange that no one mention that global warming stopped in 1998, and that the imaginary “tipping point” at a temperature rise of 2 deg.C is the garbage out of a defective climate model which was loaded with garbage information. But that vital information didn’t fit in with the Great Global Warming Swindle political soap.

It’s a fair question

When is the EU going to get to grips with the fact that free movement applies only to people, but not terrorists, and definitely not to weapons and bombs?

Scraping the barrel

The Bullshit Broadcasting Company is getting really desperate to push the Great Global Warming Swindle if it’s putting apologists for the swindle on alleged comedy shows. The Now Show is quite funny most of the time. But it becomes cringe-worthy when some earnest but misguided GWS lady is wheeled out to set up, at length, a 9-second joke.

Homage to Donald

The people of the UK wish to offer their sincere thanks to the US presidential hopeful for daring to expose the fact that Britain’s politicians pander to Moslem extremists and senior police officers are lying when they claim that there are no Moslem areas where is it not safe for the police to go unless mob-handed.

Not helping

Has anyone else noticed that since the Met Office started giving cute names to Atlantic storms, they’ve become more frequent?

Silly Season Unchained

You can tell it’s the pantomime season – all the joke dames are clambering out of the woodwork. We’ve had the dame in charge of the Met Office promoting the Great Global Warming Swindle. Now we have the dame who’s the nation’s Chief Medical Officer telling us that obesity in women from cradle to grave is as dangerous as the threat from Islamist terrorists.

Climate hysteria

The Environment Sec., L. Truss, that noted climatologist and Labour party leader, J. Corbyn, and the boss of the Met Office, Dame J. Sligo, are all claiming that the heavy rains that drowned Lancashire, Cumbria and parts of Scotland at the start of this month were due to global warming, and that the amount of rain that fell is unprecedented. Not according to Met Office records, it ain’t.
    What they are implying, of course, is that they can do something to stop this sort of extreme weather – which is why they’re called Global Warming Swindlers.

We still can’t be told who in Parliament is crooked

An MP being investigated by IPSA for expenses fraud, an MP being investigated by the police for expenses fraud, a member of an MP’s staff, who was ticked off by IPSA for expenses fraud – what do they all have in common? The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority is covering up their crimes and refusing to name the individuals concerned. So much for transparency.

By their omissions shall ye know them

The so-called BBC ran a series of front pages of national newspapers at around 11:25 p.m. last night. No sign of The Sun among them. Obviously not British enough for the so-called BBC.

Another worthless promise

Despite a promise to end aid to India; money from British taxpayers is paying for their space programme, the Indians got £279 MILLION in 2014, £10 million more than in 2013.

Brown-out

The American football fans at the Mansion seem to be unable to get over the dramatic ending to this week’s Monday Night match. The Cleveland Browns had run the clock down to about two seconds and they were all set to kick a winning field goal. But the Baltimore Ravens, who used to be the Browns back in the day, managed to block the kick and run the ball back for a match-winning touchdown. Never been done before, apparently.

Triumph from disaster

Appearances to the contrary, the Commons debate on bombing Syria turned out to be a good thing for Labour’s bookmark leader. Even though 66 members of his party “did a Corbyn” and voted against the party line, giving Dave the Leader a 174 vote majority, Corbyn’s mouthpiece felt able to claim that he increased his authority over the party.

A fair question

Will dropping a £100,000 bomb on a bad guy on the back of a motorbike in Syria really make people in England any safer?

Fair's fair

If it’s okay for us to bomb the participants in the civil war in Syria, will we be able to bomb the Labour party if civil war breaks out there?

Compulsive Rebranding

Labour’s nutters are at it again. The vegan agriculture and fisheries mouthpiece wants us to call fishermen fishers from now on. So that’s fire-ers for firemen? Dusters for dustmen? Misterers for Mister Men? Where do they find these characters?

The gesture will do

It doesn’t really matter if Britain doesn’t drop any bombs on Syria. The United States has half the bombs in the world (Russia has the rest) and any contribution we make will be insignificant. What is actually involved is a political gesture rather than anything military. The US and France need the moral weight of Britain’s support. Our munitions are irrelevant.

Stealth taxes never went away

A Brown spectre is haunting Britain again. The Chancellor has ditched Austerity, in the same way that Gordon Brown murdered Prudence, and he’s slapping on £30 Billion in stealth taxes. G. Broon will be laughing all the way to his coffin when he turns in from now on.

Bad? Worse?

Which was worse? The Ed Stone or shadow chancellor J. McDonnell quoting Mass Murderer Mao in his reply to the Autumn Statement and getting the real chancellor off the hook?

Wot Cuts?

In 2009/10, the last year of a Labour government, public spending was running at £670 Billion/year. In 2015/16, £756 Billion/year. That’s a rise of just 1% after adjusting for inflation. It is expected to rise to £820 Billion/year in 2019/20. Assuming low inflation continues, that amounts to a real-terms increase.
    So much for all the shroud-waving done by Labour, the trade unions, the so-called BBC and theGrauniad. And so much for G. Osborne's claims that he believes in fixing the roof while the sun is shining. Gordon Brown must be laughing his little cotton socks off when he climbs into his coffin at night.

No, no, not Brown! No!

For his autumn statement, a.k.a. Budget III, the Chancellor found £27 Billion in loose change down the back of his settee, so state spending will go up, and so will taxes, especially council tax (up 25% by 2020) and fuel duty.
    By 2020, the foreign aid budget will have doubled during Cameron’s reign; that’s a lot of cash thrown down drains and into the pockets of dictators and corrupt officials.

What’s the word Putin is looking for?

Russian troops in a terrorist-held part of Ukraine shoot down a Malaysian airliner with around 300 people aboard and . . . nothing. The Turkish air force shoots down a Russian fighter which was treating Turkish air-space like part of the Greater Russian Empire and suddenly, it’s World War Three. I think the word is “proportionality”.

Life run backwards

Whatever happened to majorities? We never seem to hear from them these days. All are ears are bombarded with now is propaganda from loud minorities, the more absurd and the more repellent, the better.

Money and policy

1. Despite “The Cuts”, the police forces in England and Wales still have plenty of money to waste on inefficient procurement, excessive salaries (the top cop in Scotland is on £700K) for senior officers and Spanish practices. And the police budget has increased by £1.5 billion over the last 15 years, according to the Institute for Fiscal Studies, which should know.
    So what “Cuts” are we talking about? If police forces really are short of cash, the cause should be self-inflicted by senior officers. The police forces in England and Wales are sitting on reserves of £2.1 billion, and some forces have doubled their reserves in the last 5 years. So there is clearly cash available for immediate needs despite all the shroud-waving that goes on.

2. There’s nothing wrong with putting troops on the streets alongside unarmed coppers to deter coppers, no matter how much the Labour party moans. Better to have them doing useful work here than fighting a war in Syria, which should be the responsibility of the Moslem nations who protest that the Islamic Scumbags are nothing to do with them, e.g. Turkey and Saudi Arabia.

Do your job first, mate

The BBC’s director-general is complaining about mission drift and undue outside interference. Maybe if he could return the Beeb to making and showing TV programmes and broadcasting the news without pandering to the looney left, he might be trusted to get on with directing generally unsupervised.

Sometimes, life hands it to you on a plate

Labour’s bookmark leader is in clover over the Islamist Scumbag situation. Being Corbyn, the friend of every tinpot terrorist gang willing to shake his hand, he’s a natural friend of IS. Being the leader, pro tem, of Her Majesty’s (not so Loyal) Opposition, he feels it’s his job to be against everything the government wants to do. And suddenly, his luck’s in.
    Our prime minister and his immediate circle are busting a collective gut to get us into a war in Syria. But the experience of Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya shows that our politicians and our military are incompetent to wage war. Period. And when Corbyn points this out, he’s opposing the government and protecting a gang of terrorists. Wooo! Talk about sugar-coated with a cherry on top!

Dodgy Dave

According to the Scottish Office minister, A. Dunlop, both the Scottish and UK governments want to retain the Barnett Formula, which gives Scotland an oversized block grant funded by English taxpayers. The reason why the Scottish government wants to keep the BF is obvious. But why does Dave the Leader think that English taxpayers should carry on paying an unfair subsidy to the Scots? We are entitled to know.

Heirs to Blair & Mandelsleaze

The Tories are having a sex ‘n’ drugs ‘n’ blackmail scandal over Mark Clarke, the Liberals brought Lord Gropington back into the fold and Labour has the repulsive K. Livingstone doing its Defence review. What do all these failings of judgement have in common? Cronyism.
    Party leaders are failing to put competent people in charge of running the party – someone capable of spotting a rotten apple and having the authority to squash it. New Labour’s poisonous legacy has now become SOP and in the case of the Tories at least, will continue to be so for as long as Dave the Leader keeps trying to be Tony B. Liar.

Should Britain go to war in Syria?

There are lots of excellent reasons why we shouldn’t. Such as the reasons why we should have stayed out of Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya. Our politicians were and remain clueless. They didn’t have an exit strategy for the above 3 wars and they won’t have one for war in Syria. They got rid of Saddam Hussain, the Taliban (partially and temporarily) and Gaddaffy, and they’ll no doubt get rid of Assad, but they just created a safe haven for monsters in the previous wars and there’s no reason to think things will go any better in Syria.
    Then there are the additional arguments. The geniuses at the Ministry of Defence are incapable of procuring decent equipment and sending a properly provisioned army into the field. And the guys on the General Staff with red tabs on their collars didn’t exactly cover themselves with glory in the previous wars; not if we have a sergeant with battle fatigue doing time in gaol for murder. No doubt we’ll hear lots of crap about winning hearts and minds in Syria, where the combatants don’t have hearts or minds, they just have guns and an insatiable desire to slaughter anyone who doesn’t belong to their particular Islamic cult.
    And then we’re back to politics and the failure of our politicians to prevent the taxpayer from being ripped off by crooked lawyers bringing spurious human rights cases from right, left, centre and every other direction. Not to mention the traitors within the military police, who think they’ll score points by railroading British troops into gaol.
    Not until we get a thorough house-cleaning all the way down the line will the British public start to think that the government might possibly be starting to become a tad less clueless and able to look after our interests.

Cosmetic Ring

There’s nothing the authorities love more than throwing a Ring of Steel around places. Like the one at Wembley stadium yesterday for the football match between England and France. It’s a wonder they didn’t put a couple of tanks in the car park to give the TV cameras something to drool over.
    Did it achieve anything? Actually, no. If they’re going to attack somewhere, terrorists will pick a place that’s not ringed in steel as a bit of basic common sense.
    Empty gesture by the establishment. Normal security would have done. No one impressed.

Out of step again

Jeremy Corbyn, the man who never supported his own party in the past, got the same treatment from Labour MPs after his “hug a terrorist instead of shooting him in the head” plea to the police. There are only a handful of Labour members who haven’t offered a resounding “include me out” to the Corbyn line for the party.

Make it go away quickly

Russia has set out its terms for being banned from world athletics for institutional doping and covering up of the doping. It’s willing to be banned but only on condition that the ban is lifted next February to let its druggie athletes compete in the Olympic games.

“I’m Jeremy, notice me, please!”

Our bookmark Labour leader continues to prove that he will go to any lengths to be noticed. Please don’t shoot to kill terrorists if they start killing people on British streets, he has told the police. Presumably, because he thinks some of his pals might be rubbed out.

International Athletic Back-scratching

The world of athletics expects Russia to accept a ban on competing in next year’s Olympic games in Rio on condition that enough whitewash is applied in the meantime to allow Russia’s druggie athletes to be reinstated in time to join in the Games.

More Corbyn-balls

“We are the party of patriotism,” said Corbyn. “And we fought fascism.” What he didn’t go on to say is that he wants to impose his own brand of communism on the country. Fascism? Communism? Spot the difference, as far as the people are concerned.

Inevitable consequence

If you embrace diversity and multiculturalism, then you must also accept that some people will take this as an endorsement of their view that they have a divine right to kill people who don't share their culture. Hence what happened in Paris yesterday.

Obliteration not incarceration

Some good news from Syria for once: the US military is 99% certain that the killer Jihadi John was “evaporated” by a drone strike. Some of the usual suspects are moaning that he should have been captured and put on trial but wiping such characters from the face of the Earth is a much better idea than wasting millions on locking them up and enriching lawyers.

“Doping is not exclusively Russian; we just do it better than anyone else.”

Russia has been running a state-sponsored doping programme for athletes, plus bribes and cover-ups, for years. Is anyone surprised? No, the only surprise is that the scandal has been exposed. Looks like the KGB assassination squads are falling down on the job. But no doubt Comrade Putin has an assassin assassination squad working on the problem right now.

He’s nobody

For the benefit of anyone worried about J. Corbyn’s announcement that he will never push the nuclear button: don't panic, he’s just a political book mark and he’ll never get within sniffing distance of said button. Which is the reason why his failure to do the decent thing and bow at the Cenotaph at the Remembrance service doesn’t matter; he knows he’s just a bookmark and he’ll soon be forgotten, so he can be as curmudgeonly as he likes.

Just typical

It comes as no surprise that the EU’s answer to the migration crisis is to offer to hurl billions of pounds of taxpayers’ money at African despots to bribe them to take back the junk people and trade them for their country's brightest and best.

Who’s the crook?

The police in England and Wales made £54 million last year from a speed camera scam. Speed cams are supposed to be all about road safety, but the police are offering an alternative to paying a fine (which goes to the Treasury) and points being added to a motorist’s a licence, which can raise their insurance premium.
    Instead, the motorist pays a couple of hundred quid to attend a Mickey Mouse speed awareness course, which shoves £40/customer into the official pocket of the local coppers. Which doesn’t stop their chief constable from pleading poverty and railing about The Cuts and yelling that he/she is going to have to remove all those invisible bobbies from beat duty to spite the government.

Bin the looneys

Who are all these creeps who keep assaulting us with their transgender, faux equality, diversity and god-knows-what issues? Are there no real, normal people left in the world?

Two of a kind

Labour is claiming that the government has no coherent political strategy for dealing with the terrorists in Syria and Iraq. But one does get the distinct feeling that the Labour party is hinting that this is okay because it gives Labour an excuse for not having a coherent political strategy either.

Three eyes would be nice

Let’s hear it for the sports fans at the Mansion. Come 6 p.m. yesterday, they were having to devote one eye to live CFL, one eye to simultaneous live NFL and yet another eye to a simultaneous Grand Prix race in Mexico. No wonder they were all looking boss-eyed very quickly.

Well, that’s nice

Shaker Aamer has been in preventive detention @ Guantanamo Bay since he was arrested in Afghanistan, after taking his family there from the UK. He has now been allowed back into Britain and the first things on his agenda are to take advantage of the NHS – is he going to pay anything for the privilege, having failed to contribute to it? – and to sue the British government for taxpayers’ cash for compensation. For what? He chose to go and live in the Taliban paradise in Afghanistan, and we owe him nothing.
    Maybe they should have told the ungrateful sod to keep on travelling back to Saudia, where he came from.

Trigger warning

Remember: whatever you say and whenever you pass an opinion, there will always be some scumbag ready and willing to drive him- or herself into a state of synthetic outrage because he/she has detected some form of “ism”.

Over the top

If God is such a good guy, why does she condemn people to burn in Hell for all eternity? Does God have no sense of justice and proportionality?

Inexpertise Rules! Not OK.

That’s the thing about political mathematics; everyone thinks he’s an expert, even when he trots out the equivalent of 1 + 1 = 3.142.
    “Corbyn is a waste of space,” someone says. So that means he thinks the sun shines out of Dave’s nether regions? Crude, simplistic and totally defective reasoning.
    Corbyn being a waste of space doesn’t rule out Dave also being a waste of space. Or Dave being a waste of space only some of the time.
    “Corbyn is a waste of space” is 100% about Corbyn and 0% about anyone else. But try telling that to an “expert” and see how far you get.

Horse-hockey by any other name would smell as ripe

A bunch of hissy Liberal biches in the House of Frauds broke the rules to cause trouble because they got wiped out at the general election. Which made J. Corbyn’s empty posturing at the next Questions to the Prime Minister look like just that – empty posturing. And the worst thing about it is that the taxpayer is paying him to do it.

What’s the point?

This is a picture of the baby-faced hacker, who has been busted for invading TalkTalk, the Daily Mail proclaimed on its front page today. But his appearance has been altered to protect his identity.
   But if the photo doesn’t look like the kid, what’s the point of printing it?

Nothing out of nothing

“Sustainably sourced” vegetable oil. Does that actually mean anything? A farmer plants a crop, which is harvested and turned into vegetable oil and the land is replanted. What’s the big deal about that? It’s something human beans have been doing for tens of thousands of years.

Cheats usually prosper

The MotoGP fans here didn’t want Lorenzo to take over the title from Marc Marquez; until yesterday. They still don’t believe Rossi should have been allowed to finish the race after his Schumacher moment. They think he should have been black-flagged forthwith. But it would take a race director with a bit of backbone to do that as a warning to anyone else who feels like cheating.

Another mad scramble

You’d think people who organize sports would be a bit more considerate. The poor old American football and Grand Prix fans at the Mansion were having to devote one eye each to their favourite viewing in the early evening. And then, later on, it was America’s NFL on one TV and Canada’s equivalent on another. Luckily, nothing significant happens simultaneously very often and the main annoyance is adverts on both channels.

All talk, just cowboys

No wonder TalkTalk keeps winning wooden spoons for having the world’s worst customer service. Their casual attitude to data protection comes as no surprise. And just as the banksters who ran the big banks into the ground recklessly got away with it, I suppose we can expect the gang running TalkTalk to avoid being prosecuted for criminal recklessness.

What?

Mrs. Cooper-Balls is now developing hearing problems when asked when she will deliver on her promise to house refugees in her spare bedrooms. But she is a politician, after all, so no one expected that much of her.

Just meaningless noise

What is the point of the apologists for the referee who gave the Scottish rugby team a bloody nose? They are obviously just the sort of people who like the sound of their own voice. After all, no matter how much they squawk, they’re never ever going to get people to love refs.

Pardon us if we laugh

Scotland’s unfortunate exit from the rugby world cup, courtesy of an incompetent ref., put a few smiles on English faces. It’s cruel to mock the afflicted but the relentless, almost sociopathic anti-English propaganda and hatred of Scottish sports fans and the supporters of the Gnats does tend to harden hearts.

Now say it like you mean it

Labour’s odious deputy leader Tommo Watson has made his ritual apology for sleazing Lord Brittan. And now we have a copper poking his nose out of the woodwork to say he thought the police were embarking on a baseless witch hunt when Watson was making his accusations.
    Pity he didn’t speak up sooner, when it mattered. And it’s an even greater pity that his bosses at the Met are so useless and tried to prevent even this belated exposure of their uselessness.

Another swindle

EU energy rating tests on vacuum cleaners are performed when the device is switched on but not sucking up any dust. Which is rather typical of the EU: the rating is cosmetic and meaningless by design, and nothing to do with the real world.

Interstitially . . .

In response to the daft advert:
One of these kids might be the next Lizzy Borden, Bloody Mary, Beast of Belsen, Myra Hindley, Harridan Harperson or Camilla Batmanthingy. But one thing we can be sure off, by the time she does grow up, no one will remember that Windows 10 ever existed.

Too much politics in the Law

We’ve had judges and lawyers from around the world gathering in London to look for ways to make disbelief in the Great Global Warming Snake Oil illegal. Now, the British “legal community”; mainly the members making money out of illegal immigrants and undeportable criminals; is presuming to order the government to let in more economic migrants. It would be nice to see those privileged parasites showing concern for the quality of life in our country, but that’s not the way the money flows.

Stamina is all you need

Sports fanatics at the Mansion were having a real feast yesterday: two Canadian football matches followed by three MotoGP events with a Grand Prix either run simultaneously or afterwards, then the evening’s NFL Sunday on Sky TV.

It’s not complicated

Labour’s apologists don’t know the difference between rattled and disgusted. For their information, Dave the Leader pointing out that J. Corbyn hates Britain and he’s the terrorist’s best buddy is down to disgust, not being rattled.

Meanwhile, behind the spin

The Blessed Jeremy Corbyn says he wants a new, kinder form of politics. And then he turns up at protest rallies near Tory events to encourage his supporters to engage in spitting and egg-throwing contests to impress him with their dedication to the cause. Clearly, his statement has been misinterpreted. When you realize that Kinder is German for children, it becomes clear that what he's actually after is Kinderpolitik – more childish politics.

False advertising

When did David Mellor, who became a political laughing stock, evolve into a Tory grandee? And why is he demanding a police investigation into the people who smeared politicians with VIP sex abuse claims? Given the level of competence shown in the likes of Operation Midland, the police are the last people who should be investigating anything. Especially all that “credible and true” crap from Det. Supt. K. McDonald.

Total Sky Garbage

Don’t you just hate the fundamental dishonesty involved when Sky adverts tell us that they have things you can “buy and keep”? As opposed to what? Buy and not keep? Everyone knows that “and keep” is an intrinsic part of “buy”, so Sky telling us that this is an addition to “buy” is Sky pretending that we are getting something more than just “buy” when we’re not. And that is dishonest, IMNSHO.

Invasion!!

What a sporting weekend it’s been for some. All four CFL matches as 2 “action from” and 2 live matches on Saturday into Sunday, then FOUR NFL matches on Sunday going into Monday. Then there’s still Monday and Thursday night NFL action during this week, not to mention FIVE CFL matches in addition. You certainly need stamina to be a gridiron fan!

Muddle-headed as well as looney

J. Corbyn, if prime minister, would have no problem with blowing £100,000,000,000 on a replacement for Trident but he would never, ever push the button, and he would let the world know that he has a nuclear deterrent which doesn’t.

Thought for the day

THINK BIKE – because the Lycra-clad idiot riding it is incapable of rational thought.

A cunning plan

In case you were wondering, the Corbyn Era is just a Labour tactic. The party has put all the nutters, the supporters of terrorism and riots, and the Big State wastrels in the shop window to frighten the electorate, hoping to become electable again when the nutters are swept aside.

Simple Justice

Why wasn’t whoever tried to hide an RAF engineer in uniform at the casualty department of that Margate hospital not sacked for objectionable conduct to encourage others?

There’s British and there’s British

Are we jumping for joy that Shaker Aamer is being released from preventive detention at Guantanamo Bay? Are we thrilled by the Daily Mail’s attempt to wrap our flag around a guy from Saudia Arabia, home of some of the world’s worst terrorists and their backers? Are we overjoyed that our government will spend millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money on watching Aamer until he’s no longer deemed a threat? Are we happy about Aamer getting a million pounds of taxpayers’ money to keep him out of court to stop him embarrassing the CIA? No effin’ way.

Another foreign scrounger

An Iranian migrant, who has been living here for 10 years and who wants a British passport, suddenly decided to try to get himself deported as an illegal immigrant because he got fed up with living in Manchester. Which leaves us asking why he doesn’t just sod off back to Iran. It’s not as if there’s anyone trying to stop him. In fact, the Iranian embassy even volunteered to help him with his travel expenses.

Diesel pollution thanks to Global Warming Swindlers

Both diesel and petrol fuels contain hydrocarbons as the power-generating component. When burnt with oxygen in the air, the hydrocarbons form water and carbon dioxide. Diesel engines burn the fuel very slightly more efficiently and emit very slightly less greenhouse gases than a car with a petrol engine.
    BUT, diesel exhaust also contains MORE poisonous oxides of nitrogen plus microscopic particles of carbon soot, which trigger heart attacks, strokes, asthma and other nasty medical conditions; as well as absorbing heat when floating in the atmosphere and causing global warming. Diesel exhaust also causes killer smogs.
    As a result of the Blair regime’s “dash for diesel”, fuelled by lower vehicle taxes, British people are dying prematurely of diseases caused by diesel pollution, and the country faces being fined by the EU for failing to meet the EU’s arbitrary maximum permitted air pollution levels.

Thought for the Day

You get home, it’s dark and the light doesn’t come on. Is that because:
(a) There’s only you there and you need to switch the light on yourself?
(B) Omnipresent God is there but not choosing to give you a helping hand?
    If the light never switches on of its own accord, the smart money goes on (a).

Don’t you really hate . . .

Scots who labour tirelessly to portray all members of their nationality as mean-spirited, grasping, small-minded, anti-English to a sociopathic degree and bigoted in the extreme – attributes which most definitely DO NOT apply to my Scottish relatives and friends.

Problem solved

The Trivial Democrats have promised to alleviate London’s housing shortage. But how many spare rooms do 8 MPs have?

A point missed

Nothing seems to upset right-on lefties more than people laughing at the political ineptitude of their current hero, Jeremy Corbyn. “What about Cameron?” they fire back, as if that’s an argument. “Nobody cares if your joke is better than someone else’s,” the humourless gits needs to be told. “Because in the final analysis, they’re both still jokes.”

Rewards for unskilled labour

He’s never done any of the intermediate or upper level jobs in Parliament but J. Corbyn has suddenly copped for a pay rise of £58,000, a posh car with chauffeur and fistfuls more cash going into his pension fund and out of the taxpayer’s pocket. Not bad for a bloke who doesn’t know what he’s doing and who’s having to make it up as he goes along.

Comrade Corbyn, man of mystery

Too miserable to sing the words of the national anthem at a Battle of Britain memorial event (or maybe he doesn’t know them?), offering unlimited benefits for all in his manifesto and a willingness to print as much money as is needed to pay them, a staunch republican who’s not afraid to compromise his principles to become a Right Hon. by joining the Privy Council, maybe the man who will play a leading role in the campaign to ditch the EU against the wishes of his party, and probably one of the most boring people on the planet if all he ever thinks about is politics. It’s a fair old mixture.

Talking up a fiasco

Germany, with a falling population, has room for migrants, which led the chancellor, Angular Merkel, into trying to go one up on everyone else by opening the nation’s doors. Alas, the wheels came off the political cheap trick very quickly and the doors have had to be slammed again when the gush became a tsunami.
    Better luck with the next gimmick, Ange.

Wither Labour? Or there are many ways to skin a Corbyn.

Has the Labour party committed political suicide? Or its latest leadership contest just a version of the old political trick of doing something totally crazy in the expectation that when you do something half-crazy, everyone will assume that you’ve grown up and that you have shed your craziness?

Whither Democracy?

It seems there are a number of people around who think that if everything isn’t being run according to their agenda, then Democracy has gone down the plughole. But what’s so great about a system based on bandwagons populated by largely uninformed masses and self-interest groups? Especially when they have a history of doing something really stoopid every so often.

The price of treachery

What do traitors deserve most? Obliteration with an expensive missile? Having to listen to Jeremy Corbyn for a couple of days whilst he explains why it is okay for British citizens to go off and fight for our country’s enemies? Or being hanged, drawn and quartered before a fee-paying audience to help reduce the national debt?

Business as usual in the NFL

Despite a monumental expenditure of sound & futy, Mr. Brady was filling the No. 12 jersey for the New England Patriots in their season opener against the Pittsburgh Steelers. But no doubt the lawyers made a few bob out of the Deflategate fiasco, so all is well with the world.
    Meanwhile, the management of the NFL is left with about as much credibility as that of FIFA, the FIA, the IAAF, etc. etc.

The world is full of nazis (with a small “n”)

We’re now used to the Scotsnazis, whose rabid hatred for the English amounts almost to mental illness. Now, we have a new breed: Feminazis, who draw the attention of mere males to glammed up pictures of themselves on anti-social meeja websites in the hope of receiving a compliment, which will allow them to throw a monumental pretend strop and play the sexism card.
    If the human race was created in the image of its god, then he or she must be a real weirdo!

Against at any price?

After the announcement that a British terrorist has been killed by an RAF drone strike in Syria, because he was plotting murder here, a CND mouthpiece declared that our PM is claiming the right to kill British citizens who have travelled abroad. Which raises the question of whether her failure to add: “and plot to murder other British citizens in Britain” was an oversight. Or is she just so anti-Tory that she’s prepared to use any old excuse to try to put a Conservative government in the wrong, no matter how vile the cause she is then seen to embrace?

How come you not know this?

There was a young lady on TV at lunchtime; well, I assume it was a young lady as she was all done up in black robes with a hood and a face-mask. She said she was a British girl but she was getting hostility from people when she went out in her mainly white area. But if she really is British, she should know that dressing up like a black pillar box with just your eyes showing is something that people do in Saudi Arabia and other places where women are supposed to be neither seen nor heard. In Britain, we distrust hoodies and people wearing masks – except for Batman and the Lone Ranger (and maybe not even those two).

Nanny knows best? Really?

The latest leak from the bowels of the Scottish government is that it has drawn up a plan to ban people from owning domestic washing machines and dishwashers and force everyone to lug their washing and dishes to public washeries fitted with super-efficient appliances. No surprise that the pay-as-you-wash scheme was concocted in the name of saving the planet.

Today’s Clerihew Plus

Hammer film vampire Ingrid Pitt
Could get out of her kit
With astonishing speed
When the director felt the need.
But her act never contained crudity;
Just gratuitous feminine nudity.

Where the blame lies

We’ve heard a lot of emotional blackmail over the Syrian child, who was found drowned on a Turkish beach. But was it the fault of the British government, as the Labour leadership hopefuls would have us believe? Or was it the fault of the grief-stricken father, who put his family in peril on a flimsy boat and got them all killed?

Are they listening, though?

I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people were laying into the IndyCar mob on their InYerFacebuk page over the double-points farce, which deprived Montoya of a second win. It’s a stupid, Mickey Mouse idea for both Indianapolis and the last race of the season. And why did it have to be at boring Sonoma? They did it for the money, I suppose.

The no good and the not-at-all great

Is there anybody working in the charity sector who is a decent human being? After the scandals of selling names to racketeers, and phone and email badgering, and stalking donors to guess what their estate will be worth, one dreads to speculate what the Daily Mail will turn up next.

Don’t bother, the taxpayer will pay

A Nigerian woman came to Britain and had quins at Homerton hospital in Hackney in 2011; at a cost to the taxpayer of £145,000. The Daily Mail was able to track her down, and she said she was willing to pay the bill but the hospital hasn’t asked her to; which raises two obvious questions:
    Why couldn’t the hospital’s finance director do the same?
    Why hasn’t this finance director been sacked, without a fancy pay-off, for gross negligence in a public office?

Yes, I’d pay to see that!

In a montage of scenes from up-coming films, shown on the Watch TV channel last night, there was a sequence showing a big dummox with a submachine gun in either hand. He flaps those hands as he presses the magazine release buttons on both weapons to send the empties flying away dramatically, which leaves him standing there, looking like a complete tosser, with each hand full of a bulletless gun and no free hands to slam in full magazines.
    The clip ends there but I’d have loved to see it extended to show some ratty little bloke with a sawn-off, who strolls up to the posing tosser, says: “What’s your next move, Tex?” and lets him have both barrels as the penny is dropping and the tosser is realizing he doesn’t have one.

Reform well overdue

More dross packed into the House of Frauds from the dissolution (dis)honours list. The number of Tories goes up in an attempt to prevent the Liberals from blocking legislation in what is supposed to be a revising chamber. It’s a dirty job but it has to be done.
    D. Blunkett is being called one of the few worthy candidates for the ermine. But wasn’t he sacked from the job of Home Sec. for abuse of his office and his expenses to get a visa for his nanny and free travel for his mistress? Sounds like he’ll be right at home in the House of Frauds.

Medal opportunity lost

Why isn’t Gordon Brown competing in Peking as Scotland’s hot favourite in the mobile phone hurling contest?

Tell us another

J. Corbyn claimed he doesn’t do “personal abuse” on a Five Live show featuring the Labour leadership hopefuls last night. Is that anything like “self-abuse”?

Words you never thought you might never need to use!

This list was inspired by coming across “cisgender”, a totally unnecessary description invented as an opposite of “transgender” and meaning normal, as things should be. Who needs it? But some of the following “trans” substitutes do actually have promise as useful words.

cisact – ignore
ciscend – fail
cisscribe, cisducer, cisfigure, cisform,
cixfix – leave indifferent
cisfuse,
cisgress – behave yourself
ciship, cisistor,
cisit / cislocate / cisport – go nowhere, stay put
cislate, cisliterate, cismigrate, cismit,
cismogrify sounds like it really ought to have a meaning!
cismute,
cisparent – opaque
cispire – inhale
cisplant – a medical term for skin grafts, etc., from one part of the same body to another
cispose / cisubstantiate – leave things as they are
cisexual, cisvestite.

None of the above! No way!

A poll has shown that only 20% of voters would choose Labour at a general election if the new leader is J. Corbyn . . . or A. Burnham, or Y. Cooper, or L. Kendall. They all come out equal within the margin for error. So that’s a plague on all their houses! It looks like Labour needs to find some more candidates without baggage but with credibility.

No chance

The latest Corbinology, trawled out of an interview a year ago, is that he’ll hand Ulster over to the Irish Republic if he ever gets to be PM. Perhaps someone should remind him that the “Land of Kings” has only ever been united under British rule because the locals have a history of being far too stroppy to play nice and give up their kingdoms.

Another Broon Bungle

Something else the nation has to thank Gordon Brown for – appointing J. Chilcot, a Whitehall burrocrap who clearly wasn’t up to the job, to head the Iraq war inquiry.

Public disgrace but shameless

The situation isn’t helped by the likes of the chief constable of Avon & Somerset, who has been busted for using his work phone to swap dirty pictures with his various girlfriends. He, of course, thinks he’s done nothing wrong and he shouldn’t resign. No honour, no integrity, no sense of decency. How very New Labour.
    Of course, he could be done for stealing publicly funded electricity by using the phone, or conduct unbecoming a senior police officer or even being a scumbag in a public office. But don’t expect the Can’t Prosecute Service to leap into action anytime soon.

Suspectomania

There was a lot of moaning from the usual suspects about newspapers daring to report that the West Midlands police farce won’t name its Top 10 Most Wanted Suspects on ’uman right grounds. Okay, let’s shoot the messenger. Let’s ignore the fact that judges are taking it upon themselves to create laws which don’t have the endorsement of Parliament. And that police farces are choosing not to do the job they’re paid to do because senior officers are afraid to let anyone be arrested or exposed as dangerous for fear of violating imaginary ’uman rights. And also in fear of the effect on their own careers, of course, if they disturb the even flow of political correctitude.
    The rights of the criminal are paramount and the rights of everyone else count for nothing. Why? It all comes down to the fact that there is more public money to be slid into the pockets of the legal profession under this twisted regime than under an honest one.

Sick Jokes of Our Times

The Iraq War report will not be published until after three doctors have certified that Tony B. Liar has responsibility-shedding dementia.

Books of their times

Crime & Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevskiy
Crime & Get Away With It – any modern British Home Secretary

Number One Weasel

When some government stooge, or the boss of a big company, says, “I don’t recognize . . .” about something which has been exposed by a whistle-blower, look for the growing nose.

Corbyn Cracked

J. Corbyn is a guy who desperately needs to be noticed. And given that the only people he’s found who will take any notice of him are anti-British despots and terrorists, that means he’s condemned to be an eternal small-pond guy, who spends his life protesting rather than actually doing anything.

Corbyn Moonshine

Pollsters are telling us that people like Labour leadership hopeful J. Corbyn because of his ability to “take on D. Cameron” – but when has he ever done that apart from never? He is also supposed to stand up for ordinary people. Really? Well, he does seem to stand up for lots of anti-British despots and terrorists. But do they count as ordinary people?

Unreliable witnesses

His legal team have been trying to mislead the world into thinking that forcing Lord Janner to make a court appearance in connection with child molestation charges would have a devastating effect on him. But on the day, he quite enjoyed his brief excursion. Which only goes to show that you should trust the words of lawyers as much as those of politicians (many of whom are lawyers, too).

Pragmatic medicine

The usual suspects are up in arms over the government’s plan to send paramedics on home visits instead of GPs. But if there are not enough GPs to do the work, what is the government expected to do? Sit on its hands whilst the usual opportunists play the complacency card? Or offer a pragmatic solution? It might not be a perfect solution but, in many cases, it will be sufficient.

Foot-dragging on an epic scale

So old man Chilcot, he of the Iraq war inquiry, is working only 8 hours per week? No wonder the wretched man is refusing to set an end date for his messing about. It’s about time the prime minister got a grip and, instead of further posturing, chucked Chilcot off the inquiry and got one of the other top people to take his place. And cancelling Chilcot’s knighthood would also be deserved.

Don’t know when they’re well off

The ranks of the apologists for the Great Global Warming Swindle seem to be full of crypto-mediaevalists, who see the Swindle as an excuse for pursuing their own cause of trying to get all large firms closed down, especially multinationals, and also all power stations – provided their income isn’t affected, the taxpayer subsidizes keeping their lights on and they are allowed to have as much petrol as they want (or diesel if they fell for the scam that a diesel engine produces less pollution than a petrol engine).
    Everyone will be required to live on whatever they can grow in their garden. Which means that anyone without a garden will starve. But hey, it’s a small price to pay for a return to a mediaeval-revival paradise.

Lost cause revisited

The Sunday papers reminded me that the Japanese were planning to murder all of their prisoners, military and civilian alike, if their country was invaded. Dropping the atomic bombs and the quick surrender saved all those lives too.

Lost cause

It’s the 70th anniversary month of the nuclear bombings in Japan, which ended World War II, and the usual suspects are still going on about a world free of nuclear weapons. Ain’t going to happen, chaps. Things can’t be uninvented. And when the usuals go on about the thousands of innocents who died in the 2 Japanese cities, let us not forget the millions the Japanese murdered and maimed before their imperial ambitions were crushed, and the hundreds of thousands who would have been killed and mutilated if the Allies had been forced to invade Japan.

Denier defined

This is a pejorative term applied by swindlers and their apologists to those Spawn of the Devil who refuses to fall for the Great Global Warming Swindle. The swindlers would have us believe that deniers are an even greater threat to the future of the planet than Ming the Merciless; in short, the enemy.
    A denier is someone who does not believe that the swindlers can describe how the Earth’s climate works with their models and hence that their predictions of catastrophe, and their assurances that they can avert the catastrophe, are worthless.
    A denier is someone who has realized that the swindlers cannot be trusted to present honest data or submit their machinations to the scrutiny normally expected for scientific data. A denier recognizes that the GGWS is a cult and not to be addressed in the same way as real science. The cult uses conjecture and suspect anecdotal “evidence” to make its “case” and it is tainted with political manoeuvrings and character assassination to keep the grant money flowing to members of the GGWS.

Politics taints

Recycling is a sensible idea on economic grounds, but only as long as politics is kept out of it. Once politicians start imposing arbitrary targets to let them pretend they’re saving the planet, the economics go to hell. The taxpayer ends up paying more than the “from new” cost for recycled goods and all sorts of resources are wasted on the endless scams needed to pretend that politically controlled recycling works.

Myths & Legends, Come Away!

The luvvie tendency keeps busting a gut to make everyone think the Tories are going to privatize the NHS and all the poor people will die because they won’t be able to afford it. But isn’t this something the Labour party was doing during its last 13 years of misrule? There were Gordon Brown’s infamous PPI scams, which let him keep hospital building costs out of the national debt by trickery, and which left the taxpayer paying 25 times the building cost for one hospital. And then there was all the contracting out of NHS services to private companies, which subsequently employed retired Labour ministers at 6-figure salaries at around 3 times what the prime minister is paid. All in all, your luvvie high ground is rather flat, chaps.

PC? Not for me!

Political correctitude is a manifestation of the intrinsic control freakery of the Corbynite Left, which believes that people can’t be relied upon to do anything, including thinking for themselves and managing their own money. That’s why the Left is always erecting hoops for people to jump through and why the Left believes in high taxation – so that the government has lots of cash to give to its cronies and clients.

Great idea, can’t be made to work

State control of national assets, e.g. water, power and the railways, is a fundamentally sound idea beset by two severe practical problems. 1. Competent management is severely lacking in the public and quango sectors from Parliament down. 2. The workforce, via its unions, feels entitled to unrealistic levels of pay and pensions because, whilst private companies can go bump, everyone knows that the taxpayer has lots of cash and can be squeezed indefinitely. And the above doesn’t address the problem of raising enough revenue, by treating the asset as a business, to fund repairs and replacements when other government departments insist on grabbing any profits for their own use.

Yes, there is a sell-by date

Cilla Black provoked a fair bit of outrage in the ranks of the control freak tendency by suggesting that she wouldn’t want to linger if her body stopped working, and she thought 75 would be a good age to cash in her chips. Beset by arthritis, her hearing and vision going, she actually popped off after an accident at 72.
    Welcome to the finishing line, Cilla. You did life and you got out of it before things started to get too burdensome for you. Job done.

Contemptible Chancers

All the Labour MPs who put on synthetic outrage over the PM’s uses of the word swarm to describe the economic migrants and bonus terrorists in Calais should be put on the ducking stool forthwith until they admit that it was their party which caused by problem with its policies of unlimited immigration to annoy the Tory Establishment and using benefits to buy votes.

Sod off, the lot of you!

Three-fingers to all the gits who are moaning at Dave the Leader for calling the migrants battering at our borders a swarm. That’s exactly what they are; as unwanted as a swarm of locusts. Or the swarm of carping Labour gits. Lets us not forget that it was New Labour which started hoovering up migrants from all over the world in the 1990s and handing them benefits for no better reason than because Tony B. Liar thought it would nark the Tory Establishment.
    And where was current Labour leader and serial carper Harridan Harperson when all this was happening? Oh, yes. She was part of the New Labour government at the time. So that’s another dose of hypocrisy on her charge sheet. At times, I can’t wait for her to croak so we can play that Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead song again.

So what will the police be doing instead?

Sara Thornton, former chief constable and current head of the successor body to the Association of Cheap Police officers (on £252K) believes that The Cuts mean that the public can no longer expect a visit from a copper after a burglary. Presumably, the victim just emails some photographs of the wreckage to their local police farce to get a crime number for their insurance company. It is also likely that she expects all crime will be treated similarly in the future. And if there’s a murder, whether or not there is a police investigation will depend on how photogenic the battered corpse is.

How to have a cannabis business in Britain

The secret is to think small. If you go in for a vast pot ranch in an abandoned building, there is a chance that it will be busted. But the nation’s police farces have given up on small-time operations. They have no authority to do so, but top coppers and PCCs have decided that cannabis doesn’t matter any more.

No rush for the cronies

After Blair crony Lord Sewel, the boss of the Standards Committee at the House of Lords, was exposed as a coke-sniffer and consort of prostitutes by The Sun, the police obligingly gave him a couple of days to flush his stash of coke before turning up at his grace & favour flat in London with a cosmetic battering ram for a cosmetic raid.
    No BBC helicopter on this one, of course. No arrests were made and Lord Sewel remains in hiding.

It’s not the system, it’s the people

By and large, democracy isn’t much of an idea because the vast majority of the people are incapable of making an informed decision. Never mind qualified majority voting; what we need is qualified voting. But even if we got it, the government (i.e. the Establishment) would still get in.

Bad company

Just think, the coke-snorting (allegedly) Blair-crony Lord Sewell would have been okay if the ladies with whom he did his alleged coke snorting had not been prostitutes (allegedly). Apparently, there is no requirement for members of the House of Frauds not to bring it into disrepute, and it’s only the fact that the ladies were prostitutes (allegedly) which has given the Establishment the hump.

Aren’t the French the world’s most disgusting creatures?

The Tour de France has confirmed that the French are a particularly insanitary bunch. The Chinese are always looked down upon for spitting all the time, but at least they don’t do it at people. And what about the hero with the cup of piss? Of course, the useless French police will turn a blind eye, as they do with strikers setting fire to things, and the filthy Frogs will feel free to do it again.

More whistling in the wind?

The Foreign Sec., P. Hammond, knows that any agreement which the PM reaches with other EU leaders will be totally worthless. The most recent evidence for this is the way the other leaders casually discarded their 2010 agreement on the EU rescue fund to bail out Greece, even though the agreement rules out such an abuse.
    The big question is whether D. Cameron will sell the country short with another written (and worthless) agreement on EU reform, or whether he will have the guts and stickability to insist on getting the reforms written into a new treaty. Which will then have to be ratified. Which makes Dave’s promise of a referendum by 2017 look undeliverable, given the time it takes to cobble together a new EU treaty.

What meltdown?

The Global Warming Swindlers would have us believe that mankind is melting the Arctic ice cap and polar bears will be extinct shortly. Surprise! The Arctic ice cap is 40% BIGGER than it was 5 years ago. So much for the claim that it would disappear by 2014 made by arch GWS Al Gore. Worse, the amount of Antarctic ice is at its greatest since the survey of 1979.

Dave & Co. Catch Up With Reality?

The government has discovered that green-crap energy scams will require £1.5 BILLION more than expected in subsidies. Plans to reduce or abolish subsidies are now being considered. Which will probably involve some sort of compensation scheme for the lost subsidies to ensure that the taxpayer loses, as usual.

Catch 22 in action

Mobile phone network operators are blaming poor quality signals on trees near their masts. The trees have too many radio signal-blocking leaves. Why are many of the trees there? Because local authorities insisted they be planted to hide ugly phone masts. Things will be better in the autumn. Maybe.

Another election promise scrapped

The Tories pledged a cap on care fees from April 2016 in their manifesto. Ain’t gonna happen until April 2020. They must have known when they made it that this particular promise was undeliverable, given the state of the economy and the dire shambles which is the state of care for the elderly, but they made it anyway. That's politics.

Just lie down and die?

For ages, we’ve been warned that too much sitting around leads to obesity, cancer, a bum the size of all outdoors and an early death. So it comes as no surprise to learn that a new “study” would have us believe that too much standing up causes back problems, permanent muscle damage, arthritis, heart disease and early death.
    Which just goes to show that you can’t win.
    Or maybe, you’re not supposed to.

Scottish votes for Scottish issues; but not the same for England

The Scottish Nasty Party, a.k.a. Wee Burney’s Band, claimed in February that it had a policy of not voting on matters which affect only England. Well, what a load of hogwash that turned out to be, and the promise has turned out to be something which can be junked when the Nasties are after revenge for not having every little demand satisfied.

Wheels and wheels

Big day of motorsport today – three MotoGP races then IndyCars at the end of the day. Everyone is going to end up with widescreen eyes, as opposed to the traditional square ones, by the time we’ve consumed it all.

To the other extreme

After all the bollocks we've had about man-made global warming, we now have a prediction that the 17th/18th century mini ice-age will be repeated in the 2030s due to a drop in the Sun's output. Let's see the EU stick a tax on that.

Surprise! EU “resolve” crumbles

The European Council boss has gone soft on Greek debt to avoid the humiliation of that country’s exit from the euro. The EU’s management conspired with the Greek regime at the time to lie about the state of the economy to get Greece into the euro. Letting Greece tumble out of the euro would expose the lack of morals at the top of the EU, and we could never have that! So what if BILLIONS of euros go down the Greek bog-hole? Appearances is all that counts in Europe, now and forever more.

Charities do bad

Charities used to be institutions which helped the unfortunate and the feckless. Not any more, according to the current news. They exist to pay fancy salaries to the bosses and pursue left-wing political agendas using cash raised for good causes. And, the Daily Mail has found, they have the same approach to extracting money from their victims as any criminal high-street bank. And they were warned a year ago about the tactics used by their favourite call-centre operator.
    Which leaves the rest of us asking what the Charities Commission (or whatever it’s called now) was doing whilst all this was going on? Clearly, the time is ripe for some tough legislation on the conduct of charity operators and life bans from the public and charity sectors for the management of the ones named and shamed by the Daily Mail; the British Red Cross, Oxfam, the NSPCC and Macmillan; for starters.

A winner every time or “we’re here because we’re here”

“God made all this.”
    “How do you know that?”
“God told me.”
    “Isn’t that a bit self-fulfilling?”
“No, it’s a Mystery.”
    “And you know that . . . because God told you?”
“Right.”
    “Hmmm.”

Off you go and don’t come back

Britain’s former counter-terrorism boss has come up with an interesting solution to domestic jihadis. He thinks that if they surrender their passport, they should be put on a charter flight to Syria and allowed to join the Islamic Inquisition as an alternative to festering here and using up the resources of the security services.

Grexit 2

“Defiant” Greek Marxists yelled anti-capitalist slogans and waved clenched fists on Referendum Day. But when it was all over, the clenched fists turned into hands outstretched for more cash from the despised capitalists further north. So it’s okay for other states to be capitalist if it lets the Greeks be scroungers? If that’s what a united Europe means, they can stick it!

Grexit 1

The Greeks voted no to austerity and yes to the rest of Europe giving them more money. Maybe it’s time for the rest of Europe to have a referendum to let the people have a chance to deliver a democratic “get lost” to the Greek scroungers.

Rain on the parade

There it was, raining on the British Grand Prix but every time I looked out of my window, there was brilliant sunshine outside. Still, there’s nothing like a drop of rain for stirring up the normal dull procession of F1. And it even helped Fernando Alonso to score his first points of the season in his clunker of a McLaren.

Alternating not-hot

Not much of a heat wave this week. One hottish day followed by cloudy and cool, and then maybe hottish again. There are no melted railway lines near us.

Banned Wordy Wise

There’s a feature in the Daily Mail called “Peterborough”, to which readers can contribute. Here at the Mansion, the staff like to offer suggestions to the "Wordy Wise" section, which involves creating new words or phrases, with an appropriate explanation, by changing a letter of an existing word. Strangely, theirs never seem to be published. Maybe an example will explain why:
egotestical – bloke who thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks.

Discrimination okay

The college lecturer who got Sir Tim Hunt sacked by UCL as a result of dodgy reporting has been exposed as having a very dodgy CV. Despite this transgression, there is no question of the lecturer getting the sack. Why? Being female and untouchable probably has a lot to do with it.

Instant experts

Everybody’s an internet expert these days; but the trouble is, a lot of the experts make out that they are commenting on something but in reality, they’re just pushing a personal agenda, having failed to spot the actual point of the original.

Off-target advertising

More on brand images; or should that be moron? Going to moneysupermarket.com turns you into a bum-waggling demented tranny. Why should anyone in their right mind want that?

The alternative makes no sense

Sky TV keeps going on about how wonderful it is that their customers can “buy and keep” things. But why would anyone in his right mind go for a “buy but not keep” option? Unless they were seriously puddled, of course.

Just say, “No, thanks”, Sir Tim

It seems that Nobel Prize-winner Sir Tim Hunt was forced to quit his professorship at University College, London, after light-hearted remarks made about women in the laboratory were misrepresented by wimmin with an agenda. Now, there is a suggestion that UCL should reinstate him. But would anyone with an ounce of self-respect wish to be associated with such a shallow and cheap institution now?

From one extreme to another

Police “services” in England and Wales have been fiddling crime figures downwards for ages by failing to record all sorts of offences. So it comes as no surprise to find that they have gone to the other extreme in response to a Home Office crack down on bogus statistics. As a result of the plod mentality, things like “man hit by flying biscuit” are now being logged as violent crimes and police statistics remain works of fiction.

Don’t pontificate, do your bit!

If the Pope is really serious about looking after the planet, maybe he could encourage his customers to stop breeding children they can’t support.

The Prime Minister got it right

It is not the fault of the British police if Moslems run away to Syria to join the terrorists there. It is not the job of the police to get involved where no crime has been committed. If fingers need to be pointed, they should be aimed at the family, friends and encouragers of the defectors, the Islamist control-freaks who hate Western society because it has so much more to offer than their mediaeval oppression and the tacit endorsement of terrorism in Moslem “communities”.

Keep the Pope out of politics continued

Perhaps the Pope has forgotten but it used to be “the consensus” that the Sun revolves around the Earth and as little as 400 years ago, his church would have had someone burnt to death for saying anything different. It wasn’t true, of course, but it was “the consensus” created by the Catholic church. Something like “the consensus” on anthropogenic global warming created by the swindlers at the United Nations.

Out of his area of competence

One has to start wondering about a Pope who concludes that it is a sin not to fall for the Great Global Warming Swindle, which involves deliberate suppression and falsification of data, vilification for personal gain of those who dare to challenge the purely political notion of a consensus on the science, and the pretence that the swindlers know how the Earth’s climate works and they can control it.

Don’t get your history from the BBC!

Okay, it was only a local programme but one of the staff is from the North West, and he always views North West Today after the BBC’s lunchtime news. And he reports that he sat there gobsmacked when he heard presenter Annabel Tiffin announce this lunchtime that: “Two hundred years ago today, Lord Nelson (died at Trafalgar, 21st October 1805) led his troops into battle at Waterloo.”
    And the thing is, there was no correction from Annabel after a bit of film which went with the item, so no one in the studio had noticed that the Duke of Wellington had been evicted from his most famous victory.
    Such is the modern BBC!

Not a chance in Hell!

In October, the UK national lottery will change the rules to oblige punters to pick 6 numbers from 59 possibles instead of 49. Which means that the odds against winning the jackpot will rise from 14 million to one against to 49 million to one against.
    It has been calculated that when it comes to winning the top prize, a customer is 12 times more likely to be eaten by a shark and 45 times more likely to be struck by lightning.

God Don’t Travel

The difference between religion and science is that the one is purely local whilst the other is universal. If there were a planet like Earth somewhere else in the galaxy with a similar evolutionary path, the inhabitants would know the Pythagoras theorem, Boyle’s law and Einstein’s theory of relativity (but under different creator names) but they would have their own local brands of weird religions rather than the ones we know. And yet, you can be sure there that they would have “community leaders” eager to blame an earthquake on inappropriate behaviour by tourists on a “sacred” mountain. The perverseness of allegedly advanced life forms is something else which is universal.

Who is fooling whom?

Belgium, the scroungers of Romania, Spain and Finland have all said “no” to one or more of Dave the Leader’s proposed reforms of the EU. So who is the bigger mug – the prime monster who thinks he can get 27 European nations to agree in order to give him a better deal or anyone who actually believes he has a chance of making a deal?

Paradox corner

How does the Labour party manage to believe in redistributing wealth but not in creating it? Where to they think it comes from? Grows on trees, maybe?

Just so you know

The current leader of the Scottish National Socialists has denied that her nickname is Gnasher because she looks like Dennis the Menace’s dog.

Calling all experts in recycling

Say I’m 99, totally knackered and I drop dead tomorrow. Will I be revived in my current decrepit state if I get through the Pearly Gates? Or will I be allowed to revert to an earlier, healthier, more mobile state? And will I get any say in the matter?

Numbers and religion

I came across some interesting thoughts on numbers and religions the other day, like:

The Mathemagics of Religion
    “Two plus two equals five.”
    “No, you're wrong, it’s one plus three that's equal to five.”
    “Excuse me, but you’re both wrong. It’s three plus three that's equal to five.”

May The Fours Be With You
    “Two plus two equals four.”
    “Wrong, three plus one equals four and we will kill anyone who says different. Starting with you.”
    Catholic vs Protestant, Shia vs Sunni, Hindu vs Moslem, ect., ect. (Molesworth reference)

Not our job, mate

To those who say Britain ditching the European Convention on ’Uman Rights would set the wrong example to the rest of the world, 2 points:
1. It’s not our job to set examples for the rest of the world.
2. There’s nothing wrong with abandoning the court in Strasbourg, if it is incompetent and staffed by people who are unqualified to make sensible judgements.

What was the highlite of race 2 in Detroit?

There was enormous satisfaction in Will Power, the whingeing Aussie, crashing into the wall in the final stages. Despite not finishing, he still got 13 points. And Muños, who completed only 5 of the 70 laps, collected 7 points. Indycar’s something for nothing culture is just great.

Which was the better cup final?

A straw poll at the Mansion gave it to the Scottish cup by a landslide. Which makes it the more strange that the Sunday Telegraph didn’t deign to offer a match report in what was supposed to be its Sport section.

The Mathemagics of Religion

“Two plus two equals five.”
“No, you’re wrong, it’s one plus three that’s equal to five.”
“Excuse me, but you’re both wrong. It’s three plus three that’s equal to five.”

Cheap talk, weasel words

Andy “Disaster Zone” Burnham’s promise to throw the kitchen sink at the Tories has been viewed as a cheap dig at failed Labour leader Eddie “Two Kitchens” Miliband. But it’s one which could come back to bite his ass, given Burnham’s own inclination for collecting kitchens. It was at least 3 at the last count: his main constituency home, his rented Parliamentary second home in London, which costs the taxpayer £1,500/month, and his nest-egg flat just a short stagger away, which he rents out for about £1,600/month.

Merkel’s mood music

British prime minister Dave “the Leader” Cameron visited Germany as part of his charm offensive ahead of a possible Brexit from the European Union. Chancellor Merkel told him:
    “When you are convinced of an idea, you cannot say that treaty change is totally impossible.”
Translation: “Dream on, Dave, we’re going to obstruct every move you make and, for all practical purposes, you’ll be banging your head against totally impossible.”

FIFA settles for second best

There’s a rumour going round that FIFA wanted Tony Blair for their next president but they had to settle for more Blatter. If you want to get started on a boycott of FIFA’s sponsors, the list starts with VISA, Coca-Cola, Hyundai, Nike, McDonald’s, Adidas and the dreaded Budweiser.

Poison Pill

Andy Burnham was health secretary during the period when patients were dying unnecessarily at Stafford Hospital and elsewhere thanks to New Labour’s policies, and boss of the Treasury when the economy went haywire in 2007/08 as a product of Gordon Brown’s financial policies. Sounds like he’s just the bloke to be the next Labour party leader!

Fabius, King of Twaddle

According to Laurent Fabius, the French foreign minister, “Britain joined a football club. They can’t now say in the middle of the match that they want to play rugby. It’s one or the other.”
    Total bollocks, of course. Britain joined the European Economic Community in 1973. What we are in now, 40 years later, is nothing like the old EEC. It’s certainly not the “football” it started off as, to use Mr. Fabius’ analogy. The guy is clearly talking out of his backside. But, hey! He’s a politician. And a French one.

Good News! There’s another James Bond book on the way

    “What-cha doin’ there, boy?” James Bond asked as he waddled out of the processing shed of the family chicken factory, brushing futilely at the grease stains on his once-white suit.
    “Mr Bond, the world needs saving again,” said the messenger.
    “Shoot!” said Bond. “Who’s that landing an airyplane on my private driveway?”
    “That’s Miss Pussy Galore, sir,” said the messenger. “She’s been revived for your latest mission.”
    James Bond’s fleshy features flowed into a radiant smile as he spotted the walking frame, which had deployed at the foot of the private jet’s steps. He watched a fragile yet intensely feminine figure totter down the steps and detach the walking frame, realizing what had been missing from his life for so long.

Could this be an extract from Trigger Mortis by Anthony Horowitz? Will he make Bond black to satisfy Hollywood? Will he do the same to Pussy Galore? Only time will tell.

Why does FIFA belong to the United States all of a sudden?

Apparently, officers of the Swiss-based organization have been using US banks in New York for their alleged nefarious going on and holding meetings there. which gives the FBI jurisdiction. Also, the Confederation of North, Central America and Carribean Association Football, which is linked to FIFA and to which most of the handcuffed honchos belong, is based in Miami. So the Feds have a double reason for getting the hump.

And your point is?

The trial of a City trader accused of rigging the Japanese Libor inter-bank lending rate has been told that he was motivated by greed. So if he’d just been motivated by a desire to make money for his employer by cheating other people, would he have been let off?

Sounds fair to me

Wouldn’t it be great if the wiseguy who tried to get a bakery run by Catholics to make a gay marriage cake, were forced to go to a Moslem bakery and demand a cake with a picture of the prophet Mohammed on it? And wouldn’t it be even greater if the judge, who ruled that the wiseguy’s ’uman rights are more important than anyone else’s, were forced to go with him to explain to the Moslem baker that if he didn’t make the cake, he’d go to gaol?

Much better show

The Indianapolis 500 knocked the Monaco GP into the proverbial cocked hat. An introduction from the commander of the ISS, some crashes along the way and a thrilling finish with Montoya showing Win Jer, the awful Aussie, who’s boss. Great stuff!

Pointless misery

Ed Miliband is reported to have spent a lot of his post-election holiday in Ibiza worrying about protecting his legacy. Really? What legacy would that be, Ed?

Tainted victory

Anyone can get 3 consecutive wins at Monaco if your team is prepared to screw your team mate.

Do we really want Shaker Aamer?

He’s a Saudi citizen, he’s been in Guantanamo Bay as an illegal combatant for 13 years, suspected of financing terrorism and being a bin Laden buddy, the usual suspects are agitating for his release and the US is happy to send him back to Saudia but not to Britain.
    So what’s wrong with Mr. Aamer going to Saudia, where his family can join him, and reducing our unwanted migrant problem?

We should be told

Why are jihadi terrorists in Syria so keen on marrying British teenage girls? Is it because they don’t fancy the local talent? Or are they hoping to get a British passport out of the deal and a retirement on benefits here, courtesy of the British taxpayer?

Typical politician on any topic

“Yeah, we shouldn’t be frightened of a debate. Let’s do what we usually do. Let’s ask the people what they think and then ignore them.”

Oh, yes, sure!

No one would want to see a newspaper’s viability threatened, said a Hacked Toffs mouthpiece. Strange that applies only to the lefty Mirror group, which has been hacking vigorously for 10 years, and not to the News of the Screws, which went bump.

On being bulletproof

● Why have the police failed to arrest the banksters at Barclays and RBS, who earned their respective banks fines adding up to £2 BILLION for recent swindles?
● Why has the CPS failed to get them gaoled and their assets stripped as proceeds of crime?
● Why are they getting this protection?
    Just think, if you were a paedophile and a bankster, you could get away with absolutely anything.

Not much of a night out?
    20th May 2015

The Daily Disaster is offering a deal to go and see Sinatra at the London Palladium. But as he’s dead, will it be like a visit to Lenin’s tomb? Everyone lines up and files past a coffin containing a mummy?

Typical deluded Labourite

Stephen Kinnock, MP son of the parasitic and hardly decorative Lord Pillock, thinks the Labour party invented social mobility. Total bollocks, of course. It has been going on for millennia. History is full of stories of people who started with nothing and achieved huge success.

A very silly film and impossible to take seriously

I watched The Hunger Games on Channel 4 at the weekend. The plot, such as it is, concerns a weird, North Korean-style society, which is divided into 12 districts. Every year, 2 young people are chosen from each district; a boy and a girl; and put into a game of murder, in which very young children and fairly mature teenagers are supposed to keep killing one another for the delectation of a mass TV audience until there's only one survivor. This is the revenge of the metropolitan upper classes on the peasants for daring to stage an uprising 3 generations previously.
    If it had been called Monty Python and the Hunger Games, it might have worked better; as long as the makers specified that it was a clinically insane version of Monty Python. Terry Jones would have been very good as the pink-frocked female impersonator, who presided over choosing our young heroine and our young hero for the “games”. And Eric Idle at his most smarmy would have been an idea choice for the Parkinson who did the TV interviews with the contestants. And the other Pythons would have really enjoyed camping around in the silly outfits and fright wigs.

Why was the Poll Tax so hated in Scotland?

Was it because everyone was obliged to make a purely nominal contribution to the running costs of their locality (purely nominal compared to the amount of cash which councils receive from central government), and having to do that really upset the socialist scroungers in Scotland, who think everyone else should pay their way?

Be careful what you wish for

For a decade, the Grauniadistas have been battling to get their hands on the text of letters written by Prince Charles to ministers of the Tony B. Liar regime. Now, they have been made public.
    The first surprise is that they are typewritten, not hand-scrawled in a black-spider script as theGuardian has led us to believe. And shock, horror! They fail to show that Prince Charles is a bullying meddler, who threatens to duff up intransigent politicians.
    On the contrary, the letters contain thoughtful, well-researched and entirely rational comments on matters of the day. Today is truly a bad day for theGrauniad.

Parliamentary imbalance

An analysis of the sexuality of the current crop of British MPs has revealed that 5% of them are homophiles, which means that this persuasion is now over-represented. The only solution available involves de-selection of a number of them which is sufficient to reach a more representative level  in the House of Commons, and by-elections with non-homophile candidates to replace them.

How big a body count?

The Timothy McVeigh Appreciation Society’s members think they have a divine right to get themselves noticed by defacing war memorials, rioting, and looting & burning their local convenience store. They think violence is the way to tell the British electorate they got the result wrong at the last general election when they elected a Tory government, and the whole things needs to be re-run until it delivers the result the lefty loonies want. Which raises a pertinent question.
    If the small stuff doesn’t produce a re-run of the election, what comes next? Blowing up trains and buses? Crashing aircraft into tall buildings? Putting anthrax into a large building’s air conditioning system? Putting a lethal biological agent into the water supply of a large city?
    Just how many people do the lefty lunatics think they’ll have to kill to get their way?

Memo to Dave the Leader:

You might want to ditch that tired cliché about being the party for working people and substitute “people who want to work”, which includes those who don’t have a job but are looking for one, and people who are in training or getting an education to enable them to get a job.

Giving Dave black looks won’t work, lady

Nicola Sturgeon says the concessions to Scotland, offered as the independence referendum approached last year, don’t go far enough. But if Dave the Leader disagrees, what’s she going to do. What can she do? It’s not as if she’s a Westminster MP and able to give him black stares across the divide between the green benches. She’s still a moderate-size fish in a small pond, by her own choice, and a long way away from the real seat of power in Britain.

Something for the supporters of PR and AV to ponder upon

Neither proportional representation nor alternative voting would have got rid of Michael Portillo, Ed Balls or Jim Murphy – they’d all have been at the top of the list with the rest of the favoured ones.

How very Europeon of them

The Scottish National Socialists are clearly at one with the EU when it comes to referendums. If the electorate doesn’t get it right the first time around, as for the Irish ratification of the Lisbon treaty, do it again and again until the useless electorate votes for independence, or whatever.

Great idea; not!

According to the BBC TV news this morning, the Scots raise 3% less tax per head than in England and spend 15% per head more. So gaining full financial control for the Scottish parliament is likely to give them a few headaches. Especially if the parliament in England refuses to guarantee their debts.

Gang warfare

There are some who embrace the EU because being prt of a big street gang gives them a warm, fuzzy feeling of protection against the other big street gangs in the world; the US, Russia, China, India, etc. And there are others who see the EU gang for what it is. You have to wear the gang colours, so no more national identities, just the grey, harmonized, homogenized EU identity.
    And then there are the gang dues. Open you wallet and say the magic words: “Help yourself” to the EU bosses. And talking of those bosses; don’t expect any say in electing them. They’re not elected, they just take their turns at different spots at the troughside at the behest of other EU bosses.

Why did the pollsters get it so wrong?

Simple. People played their cards close to their chest. Instead of saying they planned to vote Conservative, they said they were undecided. Result: egg on the face of the pollsters because they weren’t allowed to water-board their customers.

Reward for blind faith

There’s a rumour going around that if Red Ed gets to be prime minister, he’ll show us what’s on the other side of his 8-foot, £30K tombstone!

Believe this and you’ll believe anything

Going into polling day, do 25% of the electorate really not know which party they’ll support? Or is it just that people are saying what they think will nark intrusive pollsters? I know what I believe.

Anyone left?

The political parties seem to be busy suspending crazies in their ranks, like the UKIP guy who wanted to shoot an opponent and the SNP rent-a-mob instigators, who confronted the leader of Scottish Labour yesterday. Pity Labour can’t bring themselves to do something about the real crazies, like Moses Miliband and the Balls Monster.

Really?

Throwing the world’s biggest tarpaulin over New Labour’s crimes against humanity, and distributing a few hundred tons of sawdust to mop up all the blood shed by New Labour’s policies, are we seriously contemplating installing as the next prime minister, the man who wished upon an ungrateful nation the Miliband Spinal Tap Tombstone?
    And only six commandments? What an effin cheapskate Red Ed is! And the content of the commandments – total drivel.
    Is this clot Miliband really any sort of choice for prime minister?

We know who to blame

If you don’t vote, you’re not entitled to moan about the government you get. And if you vote Labour, it’s your fault if Miliband and Balls carry on wrecking the economy, as they did when they were Gordon Brown’s financial gurus.

Make that Risible Ed as well as Red Ed!

Ed Milipede unveils his 6 commandments on a stone tablet! What planet is he from? Or is this proof that his spin doctors are in competition to find out who can make him look the biggest idiot?

The burning question

Will the nation vote for sanity/ Or will inflict on us, Red Ed in the pocket of Wee Burney, Queen of Scots?

Words of Wisdom

Something to remember for the last week of the election campaign:
“Like all politicians, they’ll say whatever it takes to get what they want.”

Political newsflash

If elected, the Green Party will promote research into ways to increase the rate of spontaneous human combustion as a means of reducing the British population to a level which can be sustained by the de-industrialized, motor car-free society, which they hope to create.

A dose of reality

Anyone who claims he can control the Earth’s climate by messing about with carbon dioxide emissions is laughable? insane? crooked? Probably all three. And has anyone reading this ever been consulted about what he or she wants the state of our climate to be after it’s been changed?
    No, I thought not.

Put some life in it!

The election campaign is full of grey, dull characters. What we need to do is attach pointless slogans to the main players to make them more interesting. Like: Ed Miliband – the man who put the ”anal” in root canal.

Now, we know

It’s official! The Chilcot whitewash on the 2003 illegal Iraq war will not be published until after Tony B. Liar has blagged certificates from 4 doctors claiming that he has dementia.

Appreciation needed

When you’re out in your garden, do you ever take a moment to wave at the satellite Eye In The Sky network, which is photographing every square inch of the planet 24-hours a day on behalf of the US government?

Brilliant Idea

The next government should pass a law obliging all offence junkies to obtain treatment – at their own expense – to enable them to exist in our society without constantly seeking sources of outrage. Whilst this will cause a lot of damage to the political Rent-A-Gob industry, not to mention the racialism and diversity exploitation industries, it will be worth it.

Totally useless

The mayor of Tower Hamlets in London has been sacked and disqualified from public political life for 5 years for a whole range of offences. Was it the Electoral Commission and the local police which exposed his electoral fraud, which the judge described as on an industrial scale? No, it was all down to the efforts of four private citizens, who risked huge legal penalties if they failed to win their case. Which leaves the rest of us asking why we pay the stooges in office good money for doing bugger all.
    Even worse, the bloke who took over from the disgraced and displaced mayor, same surname but no relation, is claiming Lutfur Rahman did nothing wrong, playing the race card as shamelessly as his predecessor and claiming that there is deep-seated racialism in the borough. Yes, and it’s all down to the people who keep playing the race card, mate.

Explanation, please

Given that the Greens want to turn Britain into a sort of mediaeval paradise with no big companies, and no polluting industry and motor vehicles, perhaps we should be told how they plan to kill 40-50 million people and dispose of the bodies to get the population down to a level which their paradise can sustain.

Bragging Rights Fight?

The day before yesterday, Alex Salmonella, the Ayatollah of the Scottish National Socialist Party, was claiming he would be writing Labour’s budget after the election. Yesterday, it was the turn of Red Len McCluskey, the kommissar of the union Unite (and go out on strike) to claim that he would be pushing Red Ed’s buttons. So, put them in a steel cage and who would come out the winner of a fight to the finish?

That’s a lot of years!

The British trader, who is accused of triggering a brief £570 BILLION collapse in US share prices from his suburban semi in Hounslow, has been told that he faces 380 years in gaol if extradited and convicted. So no wonder the authorities are hoping to confiscate the £27 million, which he is believed to have made out of similar tricks over the last 5 years, to pay the imprisonment costs. And for the taxidermist, of course.

Labour Weaponizes the NHS

The Care Quality Commission, which is supposed to be the NHS watchdog, is embarrassed to admit that it participated in a stitch-up of the first privately run hospital in the NHS. Hitchingbrooke hospital, privatized by the Brown Regime, was placed in special measures after it was suddenly declared inadequate after a long string of positive reports.
    Four months later, the CQC has been forced to admit that the inspection which resulted in the damning report was rigged by Labour party activists and trade unionists opposed to privatization. The CQC also ignored a later, more positive report on the hospital in its rush to make a political point.

Just a minor detail

The Scottish National Socialist Party is making a very modest demand for putting Red Ed in Downing Street. Just the odd £148 BILLION from English taxpayers and, of course, a veto on anything the Gnats don’t like.

Totally useless

Having wasted £20 million on persecuting journalists who exposed dodgy doings after buying information from public officials in the public interest, the Can’t Prosecute Service has abandoned the crusade, more or less. But hey, it was only taxpayers’ money which paid for the lefty luvvie show trials, and there’s lots of that sloshing about.

Depends who’s counting

Was the audience for the 5 minor-party leader dog and pony show on the BBC politically balanced? Over half of them were self-confessed lefties and 20% were “undecideds” So balanced only by BBC standards.

Don’t expect them to do anything useful for their pay

Does nothing work in the public sector? We have an Electoral Commission, which can’t register people who are entitled to vote, and a Boundaries Commission, which is a society for the preservation of Labour rotten boroughs, which build an unfair Labour bias into the electoral system.

Delay, delay, delay

The Can’t Prosecute Service’s solution to the Establishment’s suspected paedophiles is now clear. The Cyril Smiths and Lord Janners will be protected by cover-ups until they croak or go doolally. Not much to do with justice but it spares the taxpayer the cost of a trial and locking up the monsters.

No, thanks

Where were the Looney Eds, Miliband and Balls, when Wee Gordie Broon was plunging the British economy into a HUGE Brown Hole and getting into bed with the crooks running the banks? They were on the payroll as “financial advisors”.
    Letting this pair of comedians, with their established track record for fiscal incompetence, get their hands on the economy again would be as sensible as putting a serial firebug in charge of a fuel dump.

Good day for British motorsport

Lewis Hamilton enjoyed a straightforward win in China. Then came the real highlights of the day. Danny Kent won the Moto3 race at the Circuit of the Americas in Austin, Texas. Then Sam Lowes, despite horrible crashes in practice, did the same in the Moto2 race. Shame that Bradley Smith and Cal Crutchlow couldn’t manage better than 6th and 7th in the MotoGP, but they don’t have the bikes to challenge Marquez and Rossi and the Ducatis.

The things they say in films

I’m not sure if I heard this right, but some guy in a routine action film seemed to say: “My patience is losing weight.” Which seems to me to be quite a distinctive and unusual way of putting it.

Not bovvered

Do we care if Princess Bea, Prince Andrew’s daughter, has enjoyed 11 holidays in the last 6 months? Despite the Daily Disaster’s best efforts to whip us into a frenzy of indignation, the response remains a yawn.

None here, either

In case anyone’s interested, the reported lack of party political signboards in people’s gardens is also evident around the Mansion. It seems to be true that the election campaign is being conducted on TV and behind closed doors, with only the party line coming out. Apart from the usual leaks, of course.

Mr. Liar has a point . . .

. . . when he says the British public can’t be trusted to vote the right way. After all, they did make a war-monger and swindler their prime monster not once, not twice, but three times.

What have you got yourself into, Ed?

Tony B. Liar thinks the people can’t be trusted with democracy.
Red Ed invited the old fraud into his election campaign, thinking it would do him some good.
Gulp! Does this mean that Red Ed is thinking what Mr. Liar is thinking? Or is Ed “I’m not Tony B. Liar*” Milipede just too out of touch with reality to see that Mr. Liar is treating as just another useful idiot?

* 2011 Labour party conference

A new national holiday

We all know that there are gangs of lefty luvvies all over the place, who feel their day has been wasted if they are not shocked and offended by at least half a dozen imaginary slights to their involuntary client groups. So let’s be nice to them. Let’s have a National Lefty Luvvie Day and on that day, let us all go out of our way to offend Leftie Luvvies as many times as we can manage.

Something worth re-quoting!

“The Lord will provide.”
    “Oh, great. I’ll just sit here and wait for that to happen.”
“The Lord helps those who help themselves.”
    “Oh, great. I do all the work and she claims all the credit. Or was that incitement to go out shoplifting? I just don’t get this religion stuff.”

More of the same

Black people hadn’t been invented in the 1950s, as far as the British military establishment was concerned; except in subordinate roles. James Bond goes back to a time when black people were rarities in Britain and not members of the establishment. So Ian Fleming didn’t have to describe Bond as white because that was the norm for secret agents. If Fleming had wanted a black Bond, he’d have specified one because it would have been extraordinary and worthy of mention.
    Calling a black actor James Bond in the name of diversity and political correctness is worthy of derision. One would hope that the actor being touted for the part would have sufficient self-respect to see that the PC mob is trying to exploit him.
    Wot next? Make Othello Chinese? Othello, the warlord of Wong Shur? Felix the cat played by a dog? Miss Marple rewritten for an 11-year-old computer kid, who’s noted for his bad attitue?
    This diversity crap is just intellectual laziness of the sort that wished Fast & Furious 7 on the world. Don’t create anything new because that involves hard work. Just recycle existing stuff endlessly.
    Plain pre-thetic!

No foolin’

Red Ed thinks that the next James Bond should be a one-legged, albino, lesbian transvestite “in the interests of equality”. Which is exactly what you’d expect from an out-of-touch Hampstead Hypocrite, who doesn’t realize that a character from books written 60 years ago doesn’t fall within the remit of his diversity crap.

A great day for the old guys

The Malaysian GP and a good day for the former champ, Vettel, when Mercedes blew their strategy. Then the ancient Valentino Rossi won the night race at Qatar to open the MotoGP season. And in St. Pete, Florida, Juan Pablo Montoya won the opener of the Indycar series, which was one up the kilt for the awful Aussie, Whin Jer.

Global Warming Scam

The extent of the sea ice at both poles is the same as it was in 1979, when satellite measurements began. So where’s all this global warming and why are there still polar bears around?

Now we know

How often does Red Ed Milipede take his kids to school? Once every general election campaign without fail. (But only if there’s a TV crew handy to show him what to do.)

Gob open, mind not engaged

The German president, Angular Merkel, has promised a full investigation into the crash of the German airliner in the Alps. Which means what? There wouldn’t have been a full investigation if she hadn’t joined in? If politicians feel obliged to say something about events like this, it would be really nice if they could manage something which doesn’t sound totally stoopid.

Oppressors' Charter

Four journalists from The Sun have been cleared at the Old Bailey of trumped-up charges brought by the illiberal lefty Establishment in an attempt further to suppress free speech. Even the judge spotted that the prosecution "case" was a load of old rubbish. Maybe the cost of the trial could now be deducted from the salaries of the coppers and the Can't Prosecute Service officials, who wasted millions of pounds of taxpayers' money to follow their own political agenda.

You know it makes sense

During the election campaign, politicians should be lined up at the end of the day and slapped around the head once for each utterance of a cliché like “hard-working families”, “long-term economic plan”, “the Tories will privatize the NHS” and all the rest. And Ed Milipede and Ed Balls should get an extra half-dozen slaps for being who they are.

It’s all right for you, Jimmy

What are Scottish councils doing with all the subsidy money they get from English taxpayers? Using some of it to write off debts, including rent arrears, benefit overpayments and parking fines, of criminals who have been sent to gaol.

It’s a good story, but that’s all it is.

There’s a whole lot of tripe being talked by delusional people about yesterday’s eclipse, like people claiming “Avebury fell into dusk” and the same happened in Newcastle. Rubbish. I was in the Manchester area, and even though the Sun was reduced to a tiny sliver of its normal self, there was no sensation here of markedly less light than on a normal, sunnyish day with low, hazy cloud, which didn’t affect observation of the Sun with an eclipse viewer.

Not me, Guv!

The Balls Monster has come up with a wonderful alibi. He’s now telling us that he’s no good at sums and his mother-in-law does them for him. And if his numbers don’t add up, it’s her fault, not his.

Nothing so see, move along

If anyone is wondering where Vlad the Putin disappeared off to in March, there was nothing sinister about it. He just took a little trip aboard to spend more time with the cash he’s liberated from the Russian taxpayer.

Ain’t it grand in the public sector!

Four judges out on their ears for watching porn on computers at work at the taxpayer’s expense. Which leaves us wondering how many other court staff are at it, and how much it’s costing us.

Aussie not-so-grand prix

I’m certainly glad I didn’t get up at 4 a.m. for that. 5/20 cars didn’t manage to start the race and only 11 got to the finish. Still, we got the result we wanted. You have to feel sorry for Jenson Button, though, in that clunker of a McLaren. And there’s an extra twist to the Alonso saga; if he’d been cleared to compete, he would have been in the McLaren which failed make it to the starting grid and he wouldn’t even have had the chance to fight Button for the honour of not finishing last.

A weird approach to career planning

The Education Dept. (run by Nicky Morgan) and the Home Office (run by Theresa May) are planning to put pornography into the classroom for 11- to 16-year-olds, along with training in reviewing the performance of porn actors. Which raises the question: Will there be enough jobs for porn-film reviewers when these kids leave school?

Double Rations

Two-Sheds Jackson, Two-Jags Prescott, and now Two-Kitchens Red Ed. One of his kitchens is tiny and used for photographs intended to bamboozle the voters into thinking that his millionaire’s mansion ain’t really that grand after all. Kitchen No. 2, on the other hand, is much grander and not for photographing.

Weightlifters’ Technology?

What good is a watch with a battery which runs out in 3 hours if you use its fancy gadgets? Apple is being very coy about the issue but the message seems to be that you’ll need to carry a whole bagful of the things around, plus a charger, to be able to use the gadgets and know what time it is.

Let the People know

The British government is thinking of publishing details of how much loot Vlad the Putin’s cronies have acquired as a result of their membership of Russia’s kleptocracy. This would be done purely in the interests of informing the Russian public about where their money has disappeared to. And if the Russians choose to retaliate in kind, about people like Tony B. Liar, say, everyone will win.

Oh, to be Islamic and blame-free

If British Moslems go to the Middle East to let out their inner serial killer, it’s the fault of MI5. If silly teenage girls steal the family jewels and sneak off to the Middle East to be brides of monsters, it’s the fault of the Metropolitan police. And it’s certainly not the fault of the parents or the alleged refugees who preach hate against their unwilling hosts or the looney left charities which support the preachers of hate or the looney Labourites who encouraged them to come here in the first place. Or even the BBC and other looney left meeja, who support their anti-British line and give them abundant oxygen of publicity.

Brilliant idea

Don’t waste £3 BILLION on rebuilding the House of Common Criminals, says the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Just relocate Parliament to Wormwood Scrubs prison, which will add the benefit of reducing commuting for most peers and MPs.

The magic is in the mushrooms?

Calamity Clegg has decided to do God after a lifetime of atheism. Could his transformation have anything to do with his keenness to legalize possession of all currently banned drugs and his desire to give everyone a right of access to any drug they want?

Freebooters

Extract from a statement issued by the Durham police: “A blank-firing pistol, which replicates the sound of real gunshots but does not require a licence to own, was also recovered during a search of the property.”
    Why? What gives the police the right to stroll off with anything they take a fancy to when trawling through someone’s home? Is that even legal? Not that such considerations seem to bother Her Majesty’s plods any more.