Thursday 31 August 2017

Let’s get it right

“How are the French marking the 20th anniversary of their being responsible for killing Princess Diana?” the guy on the BBC lunchtime TV news should have asked the guy in Paris.
    And let us not forget that the People’s Princess will always be Tony B. Liar. Accept no imitations!

Mysterious ways indeed

It’s an interesting thought: that a deity worth worshipping would inflict untold misery on Houston for daring to elect a legobian as the mayor whilst letting Kim Jong-badguy inflict untold misery on the peasants of North Korea.
    Or are we meant to conclude that Kim Jong-badguy is a living incarnation of this god? Phew,  what a choker!

Wednesday 30 August 2017

Moderation is everything

This week’s experts have blown the low-fat diet out of the water. Fat might have a protective effect on the human body, they think, as their study found that people with the lowest fat intake are 23% more likely to die young. Don’t switch to carbohydrates, fat is okay for the moment, just don’t go mad.

In perspective

The thing to remember about Kim Jong-whoever is that he’s not the messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy. And the missile his gang fired off yesterday flew over northern Japan at a height of 340 miles. That’s higher than the International Space Station, which flies at 270-205 miles, depending on how long has elapsed since the last orbital boost.

What more proof is needed?

TV show-winning cook N. Hussein upset Cornish pasty fans by putting peas in her version of a food idem with protected status for a recipe which does not include peas. Her lame explanation was that she did it in the name of diversity. Which is a further example of someone using diversity as an excuse for behaving badly. Not exactly a hanging crime on this occasion but another drip, drip, drip.

Tuesday 29 August 2017

Just a bit of showing off

North Korea has fired a missile over North Japan? No need to panic until the missles start landing on Japan. And given that Japan was at the mid-point of the trajectory map shown on the BBC lunchtime news, the missle never even breached Japanese air-space. Which means that the proper response would be to laugh at Kin Dong-long instead of panicking.

Cutting your own throat metaphorically

When a woman gets herself in the papers wearing a frock with “You will never own me” on the front – she’s owned.

A stench of evil in London

You’d think forcing a white 5-year-old girl from a Christian background and wearing a cross to live in a Moslem foster household where they don’t speak English, and keeping her there against the will of both the girl and her family, would amount to child abuse worthy of prison sentences.
    But to Tower Hamlets council and its social workers, the needs of the child are subordinated to the needs of the council to tick its diversity boxes. As long as the boxes are ticked, it doesn’t matter who get hurt.

Swindle in Madison

The non-American really has to do a fair bit of research to get to grips with the Gateway 500 IndyCar race. For a start, it’s not 500 miles, like the Indianapolis 500, it’s 248 laps of 1.25 miles, which adds up to 310 miles. Here’s where the swindle comes in; that’s 500 kilometres. Worse, the announcers kept banging on about St. Louis, which is in Missouri, when the track is actually a bit to the east of there at Madison, Illinois. Even worse, the current Gateway Motorsports Park was once known as the St. Louis International Raceway.
    There were loud cheers from the sports TV room when the race started and the Australian whinger crashed against the wall at Turn 1. Naturally, when interviewed, he blamed his team mate, Newgarden, the eventual winner, for having the cheek to dare to overtake him. Not a lengthy whinge, as in the past, but a whinge just the same.

Monday 28 August 2017

So much for all the propaganda

It seems that Scotland is experiencing one of the coldest Augusts for 30 years with peak temperatures which have been graded officially as ‘abysmal’. And it could be one of the wettest Augusts on record. But try telling that to the global warming swindlers and see how far you get!

The politics of opposition

J. Corbyn, who claims to have opposed Britain’s membership of the EU, and everything to do with the EU, since we joined in 1973 is now claiming to be a Bremainiac.
    Before anyone gets too excited, let us remember that he’s not the prime minister, what he says doesn’t matter and he could quite easily (and probably will) do another flip-flop next month.

Another Labour ‘Not me, Gov’

It’s all very well for Manchester’s mayor, A. Burnham (the Stafford hospital guy), to claim that the patience of the people in the North of England has run out over the failings of their railway services. But let us not forget that he was a Labour Cabinet minister when Gordon Brown was spending the country in to bankruptcy, not investing in infrastructure in the North and leaving the country crippled with debt and in no position to do it now.
    Where was Burnham when all this was going on? Asleep in a corner?

Sunday 27 August 2017

The easy way too easy?

A leading Scottish author (according to the Sunday Post; nope, never heard of him myself) would like the mobile phone to be uninvented because it makes it hard for bad guys to put people in jeopardy and unable to call the cops.
    He tackles the problem by making his BGs remove SIM cards from their victims’ phones. But if they were really bad BGs, wouldn’t it be easier just to bag the whole phone?

Side-show

Apparently, whilst everyone was watching the British MotoGP event, there was a Grand Prix going on in Belgium. As usual, the spectators were wondering why they don’t put the bus stop back the way it was because the modified versions have always been unworthy of the name.
    As for this year’s race, some guy in a German car won it.

Saturday 26 August 2017

It’s a fair question

It happens all the time in films and on TV, and it always provokes the same reaction in me: “Never mind ‘somebody call nine-one-one’, why don’t you do it yourself, you idle piece of crap?”

Back seat for anyone with a brain?

If you’ve all been murdered in our beds and you try to let the police know, whatever you do, don’t speak to them in English. Predictably, it was a deputy commissioner of the Met who came up with the idea of pushing the native population to the back of the queue by giving priority to people who don’t have English as their first language.
    MPs have described C. Mackey’s idea as utterly bonkers. If he is, that explains how he got to the top of the police farce in the nation’s capital; the old scum rising to the surface of the pond thing in action again.

This next?

Snowflake councils banning the use of the term cat’s eyes for reflective road studs provoked a chorus of ‘what’s next?’ from the nation’s real people. Anyone who has a hot dog stand should now be in fear and trembling of losing their living.

Friday 25 August 2017

It’s the way they tell them

Sugar could be as addictive as cocaine, the ‘experts’ would have us believe this week. Can’t wait for next week’s outrageous revelation!

The pretty high cost of looking pretty

Spraying make-up on the face of the current French President, E. McRon, to make him look presentable is a greater challenge than for his predecessor, N. Sarcozy. McRon costs the French taxpayer £8,000/month for make-up as opposed to £7,000/month for the tiny Sarco.
    McRon’s immediate predecessor, F. Hollande, was even more extravagant, costing his nation £9,000/month for having his hair combed into place and the occasional light trim.

Not the same, but equivalent

“People who fight Nazis are not the same as the Nazis.” Fine slogan but it ignores the fact that a lot of the ‘fighters’ have attitudes which are intolerant to a similar degree as those of Nazis and directed at different targets with the same degree of enthusiasm.
    For every Nazi, there is an equal and opposite SomethingElsi; in fact, given the degree of intolerance shown by the fascist left, the metropolitans and the luvvie tendency, the Nazis are outnumbered thousands to one!

Thursday 24 August 2017

The law does work

There’s no need to change the law in the light of the conviction of a furious cyclist for killing a woman when riding a bicycle which should never have been ridden on a public road. The 1861 law under which C. Alliston was convicted was framed to combat wanton and furious driving. Only the mode of transport has changed, not the wanton and furious aspect.
    The only change that needs to be made is to upgrade the penalty for causing death by wanton and furious driving to 20 years in gaol, bearing in mind that convicted criminals rarely serve even one-half of their allotted term.

Hardly a step forward

The big problem with plastic fivers, and the same will apply to plastic tenners in due course, is that they develop really sharp, unsightly creases. But you daren’t command your staff to iron them for fear of ending up with an equally unsightly puddle of plastic on the irony board.

Confessions of an isolationist

Wow! Sno Fuk Jon, the Channel 4 TV news (w)anchor, is trying to rehabilitate himself. The fatuous journalist has admitted that he lives in a small, London-based cult, which has little or no connection with the real world.
    He is now waiting anxiously to learn whether taking a bite out of InYerFaceBuk and Gooble will make him look a little more right-minded.

Wednesday 23 August 2017

Cloth-ears again

“It was a week when the nation mourned and the monarchy faced daft criticism.” This is what I heard when I was briefly in the next room during the BBC lunchtime news and someone was doing a plug for a programme. I think I might have misheard that ‘daft’ but you know what? That’s what the bloke should have said. The loonies were all over the place 20 years ago, after Princess Di was killed.

Sounds like criminal negligence

Two people killed by a Richter 4.0 earthquake on the Italian holiday island Ischia yesterday? What sort of cowboy builders are allowed to operate there? R4 is nothing and properly constructed buildings should not fall down in a minor quake of that magnitude.

Interesting concept

N. Shah, the Labour MP who’s leading the charge against fellow MP S. Champion for exposing the activities of the Asian rape gangs who have been targetting young white girls, would like all the victims of the assaults to shut up in the name of protecting diversity.
    So this is the current Labour party policy? That decent people should be too polite to notice when criminals behave badly and their victims should just keep quiet? Actually, that’s just what one would expect from J. Corbyn’s supporters.

Tuesday 22 August 2017

Lookouts? What are they?

What sort of people are the American navy putting in charge of their warships and manning them? Two months ago, the destroyer USS Fitzgerald hit a tanker, killing members of its crew. Yesterday, it was the turn of USS John S McCain to hit another tanker and kill more American sailors.
    Do they no longer have radar sets on American warships and does no one bother keeping a lookout to see what’s nearby any more?

Mental crime in all senses of the word

Apparently, the West Midlands police farce has a tick-box labelled ‘non-hate crime incident’, which leaves one wondering what other non-crimes it includes on its list of statistical excuses for wasting police time. You can bet ‘solicited outrage non-event’ won’t be there, given the current obsession with internet trolls of the current Director of Public Prostitutions.
    In fact, it could be argued that given the CPS definition of a hate crime as ‘any offence which is perceived by the victim, or any other person, to be motivated by hostility or prejudice’, then the arresting officer could be perceived to be committing another hate crime by the act of arrest by both the victim and the victim’s mother. And anyone else known to the ‘victim’. Thus the arresting officers would be obliged to arrest themselves also.
    No wonder the current DPP and her chums are called the Looney Left.

Wither Yellow Pages

It used to be the size of an old Phone Book and over an inch thick. Last year’s Yellow Pages was just 3/8" thick. This year’s is 3/16" thick. Will it be down to 3/32" next year? Or will we just get an advertising flier with the URL of the website? That’s the way it seems to be going.

Rampant overselling

A rare opportunity to study the Sun’s corona – that’s how yesterday’s total eclipse across 14 states of the US going from coast to coast, Oregon to South Carolina in a belt 70 miles wide, was being described on the BBC news.
    What’s wrong with that statement? Well, it’s only decades out of date and it applies only to ground-based observers. NASA has sent probes out to orbits around the Sun and they can produce the equivalent of an eclipse to order. Astronomers who want to study the Sun’s corona are no longer forced to wait for something that happens for a few minutes every few years.
    This means that solar eclipses seen from the Earth are just tourist attractions rather than a main source of science now. And the data gathered in space have the advantage of not being distorted by having an atmosphere in the way.

Monday 21 August 2017

Terrorism by numbers

An analysis of the recent Barcelona & environs terrorist incidents and attacks has found that locking up everyone called Mohamed, and everyone with a brother called Mohamed, will reduce terrorism by 30%.

Everywhere you tread, it’s in the swamp of Labour party politics

The woman leading the charge against the Labour MP who was sacked from Corbyn’s shadow cabinet for condemning child sex abuse by men from Moslem cultures in The Sun is another racialist of Asian origin. A Labour MP also, she would appear to be playing an enthusiastic part of the Corbynites’ campaign to drive Jews out of the party. Presumably, so that people of her ethnic origin can become the Minority of Choice.

Sunday 20 August 2017

It’s a puzzler

What is really baffling is the number of people who persist in confusing things they see on anti-social meeja, like Twitter, with events in the real world. Twitter and its companions are like the distorting mirrors they have in fun fairs. Good luck to anyone trying to navigate real life using something like that.

No wonder they call him Flippin’ Eck

Alec Salmond, the former MP, who was rejected at the last general election, is trying to turn himself in to a Scottish Donald Trump (but without the golf courses). Why? Possibly because he thinks that if he upsets the news meeja and the Establishment enough by being outrageous, the people might just make him the first President of Scotland. Which would get right up Wee Burney Sturgeon’s nose!

World Speed Record?

“Boy, nine, pens his first novel” read the Sunday Post headline. Some kid in Yorkshire has had a book published and it took him about two hours to write, the lad said. If the average novel is about 80,000 words, that comes to 40,000 words/hour or over 100 words/second!! That is bloody fast!

Pathetic excuses No. 812

“When we go to places on holiday, we learn about the culture. You can’t get that in a classroom.” Offered as a reason for taking kids out of school during term time to avoid rip-off charges by travel companies during the school holidays.

Saturday 19 August 2017

The Bungling Scrounger Party?

Wee Burney Sturgeon doesn’t like her party’s name because people might think they are Scottish Nazionalists, especially in view of her ambition to become her nation’s first Führer. We could also mention her party’s decade of undistinguished and wasteful rule north of the border, should we wish to make the truth hurt even more.

The Right Man for the Odd Job

Rumour has it that President Putin’s body double will be doing Daniel Craig’s undressed parts in the next Bond film when the old guy (all of 49) does his swan song as 007. If he’s getting around $100 million for it, let us hope, for the production company’s sake, that it doesn’t turn out to be a turkey or a dead duck.

Slogans are Garbage?

The Canadian Football League has staff on the sidelines wearing grey sweatshirts with the slogan “Diversity is Strength” on the front and a long list of the countries of the players in the league on the back. That’s cobblers. Unity is Strength. Diversity is just a licence for bad people to behave badly, especially when they are aided by the sort of people who would rather see their own country suffer a thousand defeats than win one small victory. I think we all know exactly who they are.

Friday 18 August 2017

True merit needs to be recognized

There needs to be a Nobel prize, or at least a gold medal, for upsetting the world’s outrage junkies and President Trump will be a worthy winner. His deployment of the fake news story about General Perishing and the pig’s blood on bullets used to execute Moslem terrorists was an absolute classic of the genre. It captured the essence of the silly season to perfection.

About half a cheer

Hooray for our new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, which has just reached its new home in Portsmouth harbour. Shame it won’t actually have any aircraft until next year.
    One of the things the new ship is supposed to be able to do is track a tennis ball going at 2,300 mph. But how often is that likely to happen in the real world?

Just another thought . . .

If the MPs on the 3 Commons committees looking at the Elizabeth Tower refurbishment job were goosed in to action only when the Daily Mail spotted that what was supposed to be a 26-month job was slipping to 4 years (or more) of the contractors shoving their hands in the taxpayer’s pocket, maybe it’s time to cut out the middle man. Maybe it’s time to sack all the MPs and let the Mail run things.
    [Retires to bunker to hunker while the outrage junkies who hate the Mail go BANG! in all directions and start jumping up and down – which will spare them the curse of o’besity. Not that the ungrateful sods will ever say a word of thanks.]

Thursday 17 August 2017

For the record

The chaos and the million deaths following partition of British India as India plus East (now Bangladesh) and West Pakistan was not the fault of the British. It happened because Moslem and Hindu leaders could not bear the thought of having to share power after a very small number of British moderators left them to it. It happened because Moslems hate Hindus and vice versa.
    Of course, there is not a word of thanks for the railways and technology and access to higher educational institutes received courtesy of the British. Not to mention democracy and a civil service and the status of being the No. 12 industrial nation in the world back in 1947.

Unlevel playing field

Mrs. May has dived in to the controversy over President Trump’s condemnation of both sides that caused the riot in Charlottesville, Virginia. According to her, there is no equivalence between those who propound fascist views and those who oppose them. Something which the fascist left here, and grooming gangs, have been relying on for years.

Lawyers vs motorists

Ambulance-chasing lawyers have talked the government in to increasing pay-outs to victims of serious accidents as this will increase their slice of the pot. The insurance industry is trying to frighten the government with enormous price rises to pay for the changes, which have been labelled unnecessarily extreme. Which vested interest will win?

Sports News

Five more front-bench dismissals and Corbyn, J. will have his hundred up! Who says he’s not trying? (Very trying indeed)

Part-time hero

The fate of Sarah Champion, MP, ditched from the shadow cabinet for writing about sex abuse of white girls by grooming gangs of men from Moslem countries, tells its own story. White supremacists are just a tiny minority compared to the gangs of anti-white racialists and their allies in the ranks of the fascist left.
    Mx Champion is proving to be a champion of the Labour way, however. Having consorted with the enemy in the shape of Labour’s bête noire The Sun, she is now trying to row away from the pariah with some obligatory weasel words.

Wednesday 16 August 2017

Snooze time?

What do MPs do when they are on one of their famous committees? Paying attention to what they are supposed to be scrutinizing seems to be off the agenda if the THREE committees of MPs, who were supposed to be studying the Elizabeth Tower refurbishment, failed to spot that the jobsworths want to silence the clock tower for FOUR years whilst dragging their feet at the expense of the taxpayer. Sounds like some cowboy MPs are due for the chop, too.

Spot on

Surveying the ranks of people who were upset by President Trump’s declaration that anti-white racialism is just as bad as white racialism, it’s obvious that he got his message exactly on target. Bad people, and their supporters, are bad; whatever their racial, social, etc. origins.

Classic ‘bodge it and duck’

Four years to fix the Elizabeth Tower, home of Big Ben? Sounds like time to sack the cowboys and bring in some competent builders.

Tuesday 15 August 2017

August exemption

Moderate drinkers can relax for a while. The anti-booze British health nanny, Dame S. Davies, has been overruled by research in America, which found that having a glass of wine or a bottle of beer every evening cuts the risk of an early death by 20%.

More Leftie Tripe

The government’s Equality & Human Right’s Commission has declared that all jobs must be available on a part-time basis unless an employer can prove genuine business reason for exemption. We all know August is the Silly Season but this piece of the government has stepped over the border into insanity. There’s now a clear case for giving everyone involved a zero hours contract and telling them zero means zero!

Go figure!

We are being invited to accept that a doubling of the incidence of knee osteoarthritis since the end of World War Two is due not to people living longer and using their knees more, but because they are sitting down more and not using their knees at all. But how do you wear something out; like knee-joint cartilage, by not using it?

Monday 14 August 2017

The bureaucratic mind at work

A-Level exam papers have been made tougher to combat years of dumbing down by The Blob, thanks to Michael Gove’s efforts. But the exam regulator is going to reduce the number of marks required for a top grade to prevent a dip in the apparent success rate. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

In the interests of fairness

A group of racialist white people automatically becomes a Nazi mob in the meeja. Strange that there is no equivalently pejorative term for a bunch of racialist non-white people.

More green crap

Off-shore wind farms are creating a plague of jellyfish as they provide ideal attachment areas for the polyps, which grow to become jellyfish. As well as making life unpleasant for holidaymakers at the seaside, jellyfish also clog the water intake pipes of power stations built beside the sea.

Nothing like making life complicated

The National Grid has announced that it is ‘making plans’ to cope with the effects of the partial solar eclipse, which will be visible from Britain in 2026. This is yet another example of swindlers trying to bamboozle the public with an imaginary dragon and trying to pretend that they are heroic and wonderful by slaying it.
    We are talking about a 90% eclipse, which will last only a couple of minutes. The drop in light level will be brief and well within the limits of available light on an average August day, as far as solar farms are concerned. In fact, people who are indoors and unaware of the eclipse could well not notice it.
    But nothing must be allowed to step between the swindler and the heroic pose.

Sunday 13 August 2017

How silly can the season get?

We’re living in the shadow of the Bomb! It’s the 1950s all over again! Panic! Some of the Trumpies are really going over the top, though. Especially the lady who came up with the silly story that Kim Dong-long is planning to blast Guam with nukes.
    You can’t beat the Sunday Post for entertainment value.

Saturday 12 August 2017

The power of TV adverts to disillusion!

That’s an odd concept, Sun Life offering an over-50 funeral plan with ‘no awkward questions’. Like what? Are you likely to croak before you’ve paid for the funeral? That doesn’t exactly create confidence that the company will be around for the pay off when it’s needed.

Friday 11 August 2017

There are always 99 reasons for not panicking

The official line on the contaminated Dutch eggs is that they were withdrawn on a technicality and a risk to public health is unlikely. Another reason, which the EU straw-graspers missed, is that given the length of time some products spend in storage; tales of year-old apples hitting the shops, etc.; it could be that the contaminated eggs have not yet been used and the recall was in time.

We’re not doomed!

Surprise! Compared to other countries in Western Europe, Britain’s spending on healthcare is at the average level, according to a survey reported to the British Medical Journal. This is news calculated to upset a lot of shroud-wavers in the ranks of the BMA and the Labour party.

Being in the EU may be hazardous to your health

What do you get if you eat anything made from eggs manufactured in Holland? Pesticide poisoning.
    And the EU had the cheek to pretend there’s something wrong with giving chicken carcases a wash with a chlorine rinse to kill bacteria. Even worse, the contamination was detected in November 2016 but the wheels of burrocracies grind so exceedingly slowly in the EU that recall notices are now going out 9 months late. Long after most if not all of the products made with the contaminated eggs have been consumed.

Five not out

Falls over in amazement but there is someone with a grain of sense at the Bank of England. Despite agitation by the veganalien lobby and other weird religious groups, the plastic fiver is here to stay. Even though it contains a minuscule amount of tallow; which is also present in the plastics used to make bank cards, mobile phones and a host of other consumer goods. Which do not appear to have offended the hobby agitators. Probably because the organizations producing them are too big to be bothered by anything smaller than themselves.

Thursday 10 August 2017

Cloth-Ears rides yet again

“Three million people are waiting for NHS bikini surgery,” the lunchtime newsreader appeared to tell someone who was in the next room, as far as the TV was concerned. In fact, it was ‘routine surgery’; but I think my version is much more mind-boggling.

Fair doesn’t really matter, does it?

First, we had judges rewriting the law. Now we have the Director of Public Prostitutions doing it. It is the law that a case must be tried on the evidence but the DPP is trying to change the definition of evidence to include the defendant’s past behaviour and events unrelated to the case in an effort to secure more convictions.
    And score Brownie points. Or let dopey old judges score them by letting defendants off after they’ve been screwed by the cost of an appeal against an obviously dodgy conviction. (Or the taxpayer has forked out the extra cash.)
    But good sense always takes a back seat when there are PC Brownie points in prospect.

Analysis? Schmanalysis!

The notion that President Trump’s belligerent stance vis a vis North Korea’s missile threats plays in to the hands of KJ-whoever is just BS. Kim’s apologists would have us believe that it will put the people of North Korea even more firmly behind their blessed leader. But everyone knows that Kim’s customers will accept whatever he tells them, or pretend to, if they know what’s good for them and irrespective of what is going on outside their dump of a country.

Being aware

Are we worried about The Donald and Kim Jong-whoever rattling sabres? Hey, it’s the silly season. What else do you expect?

Being nice

A Dave-the-Leader-buddy hedge fundamentalist has recommended that the government be nice to gaoled criminals. He wants crims to be let out for Xmas and kids’ birthdays, play areas in prisons with comfy sofas for criminals and their children, Skype video calls and all sorts of other goodies. Clearly, this fatuous lordship has failed to grasp the point of sending someone to gaol.

Being helpful

People who don’t want the government to take Britain out of the Europeon Union object to being called Remoaners. Ever eager to oblige, responsible members of the Leave majority will now refer to them as Remainiacs.

Wednesday 9 August 2017

Correction

Apparently, all the pictures of riots, police violence against citizens and fires in the streets in Venezuela were stage-managed by his enemies as part of a proxy war against the blessed J. Corbyn. Now U kno.

Statistical eviction

Torrential rain is swamping England and Wales this month, the news media are saying. And yet, when I look out of the right window, I can see, in the distance, the sun shining on washing, which is swaying in a gentle breeze. Clearly, I live in a part of the country which is invisible to the nation’s weather persons.

Life’s penalties

What do you get if you dump your care in a side street nearby instead of using the car park at Luton airport? Smashed windows and scratched paintwork.

Freedom of speech as long as you say only what you’re allowed to

What do you get if you dare to mention that Gooble is a nest of fascist-minded lefties? Fired.

Tuesday 8 August 2017

Brain Domage

Surprise! It’s true! Playing computer games makes your brain rot! A study has found that gamers lose brain tissue in the hippocampus (Latin for horse university), the primary memory centre, and the shrinkage could leave a person at greater risk of Alzheimer’s disease, depression (especially if they keep losing) and schizophrenia.

Worth a try

‘Passive vaping’ is going to wipe out the human race, according to the latest study; just like passive smoking was going to. Believe the survey's conclusion or not, the notion does offer opportunities for profit. Fire up a spivvy lawyer and drag someone who dares to posture with a vape-gadget next to you to court for compromising your good health. And hope you get a dotty old judge who buys your claim for damages.
    It could work.

The power of advertising (to put off)

HELLO (this advert contains lots of on-screen pale grey small print which you won’t be able to read in the time allocated. This is indicative of a bad deal at best or a swindle at worst.)
Search SKY MOBILE (actually, I don’t trust your ad and I don’t trust your company, so I won’t.)
    And who’s ever going to want to record SIX programmes whilst watching a seventh? Never going to happen in the real world.

Monday 7 August 2017

Misguided posturing

I do get a sense that outfits like the National Trust are ‘celebrating’ BLT people; real or imagined; mainly from a ‘look at me, aren’t I wonderful?’ motive. And that anything their victims achieved was as a result of being talented people rather than BLTs.

Raising a nation of pathetic wimps

The education system wished upon us by the leftie luvvie Blob is creating snowflakes who are unable to distinguish between real and imagined risks. This is a direct result of excessive ’elf ‘n’ nazi policies and cotton-wooling, the Chief Inspector of Schools has determined. The Blob is churning out children who lack resilience and grit, and who are unable to deal with everyday crises and risks. And also ones who are unable to see through the flim-flam of politicians like Jeremy Corbyn and his mates!

Die or Fry?

The warmists would have us believe that something terrible is going on in parts of mainland Europe due to climate change, and “We’re all gonna die!” [or is it fry?] But no word yet on when they plan to consult the rest of us about which way we want the planet’s thermostat turned; up or down. [were they able to control it, of course, which they can’t]
    The notion that the Lucifer heat-wave is due to God smiting the Europeons for being rotten to us does have the advantage of restoring a sense of fatalistic acceptance to the weather. It is outwith our control but maybe, if we behave ourselves, we can hope that God will notice and drive the climate in a direction which suits us, even if it inconveniences others. In other words, back to normal.

Sunday 6 August 2017

On manoeuvres

President Putin’s stunt double has been giving subscribers to Rainbow News a treat. He’s off doing the bare-chested fishing thing in the Siberian backwoods. There are hints that Emmanuel MacRon has auditioned for the part to give himself something to do when the French electorate realizes that he’s a political duck egg.

Tell ’em any old crap and they’ll believe it!

Something interesting I didn’t know about Princess Di: she fell in to the clutches of a New Age spiv, who ‘dignosed’ that she was suffering from lead contamination in her cheek. Di recalled breaking a lead pencil against her cheek at the age of 12! She was told that the residue of lead was having a detrimental effect on her health; and believed it.
    One small snag: ‘lead’ pencils are made with graphite and a binder of clay or some suitable substitute. No lead.

Saturday 5 August 2017

Scottish Gnat Problem Solved!

I was watching the 1967 version of Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale last night, and it occurred to me that a way to rid the world of Wee Burney Sturgeon would be to sit her down in front of the early part of this film; the bit where Bond goes to Scotland to console M’s widow.
    Having to listen to the excruciatingly bad Scottish accents; Olympic-level performances, really; and the truly dreadful mickey-taking at the expense of Scottish customs, would make Wee Burney explode with rage like an over-ripe tomato loaded with C4!
    Problem solved.

Your mood is fixed by what you eat

A study has found that veggies tend to be miserable gits because they can’t help it. Their diet deprives them of vitamins and minerals vital to mental health and a cheerful outlook. In fact, it is possible that a decision to go vegetarian could be a sign of a slump into accelerating depression.

Danzig ist Deutsch; it says so on the stamps

If Poland gets some billions of euros in WW II reparations from Germany, will the Germans be entitled to reclaim East Prussia, Pomerania and all the other former German bits currently occupied by the Poles? Fair’s fair, after all.

Divine retribution

After gazing in wonder at all the RED on the weather map of Europe & North Africa in the paper on the first Saturday of the month, and the number of places with temperatures in the nineties Fahrenheit, or over 100 deg.F, and the sites of the major brush fires from Portugal to the Balkans, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that God is smiting the Europeons for being rotten to us.

Time for a bonfire of dripping right-onness

There really is something very wrong with the mentality of the luvvies in the quangocracy/charity sector. Like the ones running the National Trust, who have lost hundreds of volunteers and paying members by ‘celebrating’ sexual deviancy.
    Of course, there is no chance of the same bunch highlighting the achievements (real or imagined) of people with other physical characteristics; green eyes, left-handed, one leg shorter than the other, etc. No, the only voice heard is that of the pushy luvvie minority.

Friday 4 August 2017

Death squads at the ready!

When they get old, politicians become increasingly outrageous to get themselves noticed. Like a former London mayor, who is claiming that the president of Venezuela is letting his country sink in to chaos because he’s not killing everyone who disagrees with him.
    Further, the ex-mayor thinks that might just be a good solution for our problems here in Britain. Thus if we kill all our nation’s enemies, starting with the ex-mayor and the Bremoaners, we will solve our overcrowding problems at a stroke. And think of all the carbon dioxide production which will be avoided! The EU will love that.

No way forward

Some ‘international experts’ would have us believe that it is ‘inappropriate’ for a woman to receive and bring to birth, an embryo whose genes have been edited to remove a genetic defect. They are calling the possibility ‘playing god in an effort to create only the best children possible’.
    What’s wrong with that? And what is so wrong with playing god by the standards of people who lived thousands of years ago? And those of modern people who have the same mentality?
    Every medical intervention which prolongs or enhances a life is playing god by that definition; using antibiotics, cancer treatments, hip replacement, heart transplants, etc. There is nothing wrong with doing a spot of godding. Further, once it is known that something can be done, it will be done. Things cannot be uninvented.
    The anti-goddists say they are uneasy about carriers of deadly genetic conditions being branded ‘unfit’. So, with typical fanatics’ zeal, they would deny such people the chance to avoid passing on their defect. But that tends to be the trademark of the anti-goddist: no compassion, no pity, no mercy.
    There is one small note to gladden the heart of the anti-goddists, however: experience shows that break-throughs like this rarely fulfil their initial hype and things will be just the same as they are today decades hence.

Thursday 3 August 2017

Is MacRon turning into a Putin clone?

The new French president has an ‘A‘ in posturing but an ‘F’ in politics for the initial part of his reign. He is currently projecting himself as a military hero; who has just received the resignation of the head of his armed forces over irreconcilable differences.
    Those spectating from the sidelines are now wondering how long it will it be before he’s doing the bare-chested beefcake poses. Which will turn out to be too big even for the nation’s new, up-sized official portrait picture frames, of course.

Wednesday 2 August 2017

The common touch

What do Reince Priebus, Anthony Scaramucci and Dan Scavino have in common? They have all been fired by President Trump as part of his campaign to obtain White House staff in positions like Chief of Staff and Fake News Guru with regular names so that the people can identify with them and appreciate them.

Bound to be a rip-off if it’s British Gas

British Gas would have us believe that it has to put up its electricity price by one-eighth because of the cost of the government’s Green Crap. Ofgem, the toothless industry watchdog, says BG is lying.
    The government, which was promising to cap rip-off energy bills at one time, says legislation to ‘combat’ the energy market is in no way off the table. Translation: don’t hold your breath.

That’s just typical of Europe

The EU announced more detailed checks on passports at airports a couple of years ago. Instead of just a glance to make sure it looked okay, there would have to be a check with an international databank. Airports in Europe knew this was coming but they have done nothing to maintain passenger flow, such as providing more scrutiny stations, and the queues are round the block and taking hours to process.

The Curse of Corbyn

A few years ago, Jeremy Corbyn was praising Venezuela as a socialist paradise. As a result, a country with HUGE oil reserves is now broke and starving, the currency is worthless and the people are on the streets in protest against attempts to make the place a tin-pot dictatorship.
    Maybe we should feel glad that Jezzer never has a good word to say about his own country, which spares us his kiss of death.

Tuesday 1 August 2017

What are schools really for?

The nation’s child health experts are advocating breast-feeding lessons for 11-year-old girls and boys, who should be getting to grips with reading, writing and sums at that age. This suggests that the experts are planning as their next move to encourage girls to get pregnant at 12, while there’s a chance they might still remember the lessons – possibly as part of a scheme to let women take care of breeding in their teens so that they don’t have an interrupted working life? This process will be helped, of course, by a greater focus on sex and relationship education at the expense of academic subjects.

No great surprise

You do kind of expect to hear that the head of student equality at Cambridge university has ended up in trouble for making lots of nasty, racialist posts on anti-social meeja. That sort of character always feels that the rulz don’t apply to it.