Sunday, 31 January 2016

Quick and easy solution to pressing social problem

There is a very simple solution to the problem of ignorant immigrants, who feel that they have a ’uman right to grope local ladies who are trying to enjoy a night out. Just let them know that the offending hand will be chopped off. That will put an end to the problem, one way or another, very quickly.

Saturday, 30 January 2016

Not quite 1975

A lot of comparisons are being drawn between the coming (whenever) referendum on EU membership and the one held 40 years ago. Back then, most people knew that the Labour lot, who were mostly against: Wilson, Healey, Callaghan, Wedgie Benn, Dr. Death, Shirley Williams, et al; were useless because they’d been in office and proved it. Ted Heath, the then Tory PM, was much more of an unknown quantity and possibly an okay chap. Although his Chancellor, Tony Barber, was busy proving as incompetent as Denis Healey and Gordon F. Brown.
    Now, everyone knows from bitter experience that the politicians of all corners of the political world are useless; Tories, Labour, Gnats, Liberals, all of them. So deciding about the wisdom of staying in the EU is all about spotting the vested interests. The politicians and their cronies, for instance, are either drawing an EU pension (Clegg, Mandelsleaze) or hoping to land an EU job (Tony B. Liar for president, etc.), so they will tell any lie which they think will keep GB in. Outfits like the CBI are all hopeful of Eurocash; which is just rebranded British taxpayers’ cash which they wouldn’t have got but for our EU membership.
    Who to believe, who will tell the truth?
    That is the question.

Friday, 29 January 2016

Negotiations vs Negotions

Negotiation is a process of reaching an agreement, which may be mutually beneficial to both parties. Or, if one is negotiating from a position of strength, the other may end up with a “least worst case”, as in: “Do this or I’ll kill you.” The stronger party gets the job done, the weaker gets to live a little longer.
    Then there are David Cameron’s negotions with the European Union. Dave knows that the EU is interested only in over-closer union and that it is beyond reform. Which is why he is just going through the motions with his negotions.
    But we can be sure that whatever crumbs, or vague promises of crumbs sometime in the future, that he gets from the EU, Dave will be yelling Halleluja! from the roof-tops and making out that his negotions went to as big a “triumph” as Cancellor George Osborne’s piss-poor deal with Gooble, the firm which goobles up cash and never spits any out.
    This is what passes for politics today.

Figureheads, all

Dave Cameron & Co. are doing very badly against vested interests. Multinationals are playing fast and loose with the tax system, Michael Gove, allegedly the Justice Minister, has been forced to abandon reform of the bloated and much abused legal aid system by the legal trade, the doctors’ union is clinging desperately to its Spanish practices, and the judiciary keeps inventing new laws and making perverse interpretations of existing ones in pursuit of private political agendas. So much for the government actually doing any governing.

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Colour daft rather than blind

Apparently, it’s okay for anti-white racialists to demand a black actor should play James Bond, who isn’t a black character, but it’s not okay for a white actor to play Michael Jackson in a comedy film, even though he ended up not black. Spit the bones out of that!

Corbyn Crapola

J. Corbyn has written a letter to the prime minister urging him to withdraw a reference to “a bunch of migrants”. Nice to know that the leader of the Labour party has so little useful work to do that he has to scrape around for minor quibbles to fill up his day. But maybe he and his other looney lefties should stop being so fu**ing petty and find something useful to do for a change.

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Bugger off, mate

I happened to see one of those economic migrant blokes being interviewed on the TV news the other day. He was claiming that he has a divine right to chose to come and live in Britain. Pity the interviewer never asked him if his neighbours, back wherever he used to live, had a divine right to park themselves in his apartment, eat his grub, watch his TV and generally make themselves at home at his expense without consulting him. And why the same right not to be sponged upon doesn’t apply to the British people in relation to people like his obnoxious self.

Monday, 25 January 2016

The ultimate useful idiot

Is it any surprise that Labour’s bookmark leader wants to hand the Falklands over to Argentina and sod the views of the people living there? Of course, not. If the regime is anti-British and the leader is prepared to shake his hand, Comrade Corbyn will promise them anything. I wonder if he’s glowing in the dark a bit after shaking Vlad the Putin’s radioactive mitt!

The KGB mentality; bulletproof to the max

Have you ever wondered what the KGB agents who murdered Alexandr Litvinyenko were thinking as they went about their lethal task? They left a trail of radioactive polonium 210 all the way from Russia to England and back. They contaminated hotels and airliners, and Lugovoy and Kortun were still leaving a radioactive trail when they dropped in at the British embassy in Moscow to claim they didn’t do it.
    Any normal person would have kept something as lethal as polonium in a well-sealed bottle and opened it only to pour a dose into their victim’s tea. These two clowns seem to have used it as toilet water and splashed it all over themselves, their clothing and their mobile phones.
    Did they think KGB stooges are immune to the destructive effects of radiation? And has no one warned them that they’re probably doomed to die an early death of cancer after their own exposure to their murder tool? They might even have made Vlad the Putin glow in the dark a bit after he shook their hands to congratulate them on the success of their terrorist enterprise.

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Cameron Claptrap

Our revered prime monster sez he’ll deport migrants who refuse to learn English. Sounds very fine and tough on the surface, but when you take a closer look, you realize that Dave, who won’t be going for a third term as PM, will have to step down in 2018 to make room for another Tory party leader, who will want to be well settled in before the 2020 general election. Which means that Dave won’t be in Downing Street by the time the first refusenik’s period of grace runs out. So just another empty promise from our Dave. Typical!

The power of easy cash and lots of grasping hands

The Justice Secretary, Michael Gove, is about to give up on his attempts to curb the abuses of the £15 BILLION gravy train which is the legal aid system. The ambulance chasers proved too numerous and too vocal for him to resist.

Lateral thinking

The Bishop of London has come up with a simple way for CoE clergy to reach out to Moslems: stop shaving and grow a beard. And if they stop getting their hair cut, they will also be reaching out to Sikhs.

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

How predictable

Racialist ethnics in the film industry are threatening to boycott the Oscars because of a lack of “diversity” in the nominees. So it’s all down to racial origin rather than acting talent and the performance offered? Just so we know.

The other Man Who Stole Your Pension

Gordon Brown’s poisonous legacy endures. Chancellor G. Osborne is planning yet another stealth tax on the pensions of the middle tax to do further damage to the private sector, if not kill off pensions entirely as worthless investments.

Definitions for today:

renewable (adj.) : when applied to energy, means costly, casual and unreliable.
Metropolitan Police (org) : a sorry bunch who never say sorry, no matter how heinous their blunders.

Monday, 18 January 2016

We all know who Vlad Putin will be voting for!

What’s the Looney Left mentality all about? Look no further than Labour’s bookmark leader J. Corbyn, who thinks Britain should keep its Trident submarines, to keep the trade unions happy, but get rid of the nasty nuclear warheads, which are the submarines’ only reason for existence.

What sort of idiot promotes this sort of idiot in the first place?

The Metropolitan police farce has dropped its investigation of Lord Bramwell with red faces all round. One has to wonder about the qualifications of the senior police officers, who considered absurd tales of child abuse, torture and murder by paedophile VIPs to be “credible and true” before they’d looked for corroboration (which wasn’t forthcoming). Worse, it has taken the Met’s geniuses over a year to see the obvious.
    It's high time the Met pruned out the idiots, and their protégés, and put properly qualified coppers into the top jobs. People who aren’t subject to the Savile Effect and resistant to politically motivated mischief-making by the likes of Labour’s repellent deputy leader. The country deserves something much better than a police farce which has an “anyone will do, fit-upwise, if it make the stats look good” mentality.

Saturday, 16 January 2016

What is Maria Miller up to?

When you think about it, it’s obvious. She’s trying to set herself up as the patron saint of a minusculity with an imaginary persecution complex. No doubt the next step will be to do what the homophile lobby keeps trying to do: pretend that every historical figure anyone has ever heard of was one of theirs in order to validate their particular peculiarity by sheer weight of numbers. But the World is not mocked. It can tell a significant minority from a minusculity with loud hangers-on.

Yes, way!

What’s the last thing you’d think could happen to you during a space walk? Drowning has got to be up there at the top of the list. Major Tim Peake had his historic first EVA by a British astronaut cut short by a suit malfunction experience by his American colleague Tom Kopra, who found himself sharing his helmet with a golf ball-size bubble of water. Mission control told them to pack it in to avoid repeating the experience of Italian astronaut Luca Parmitano, who ended up with a litre and a half of water sloshing around in his helmet in 2013 when his cooling system leaked. He was lucky to get back to the airlock before he drowned!

Friday, 15 January 2016

Public sector Jobs for the Useless

Maria Miller, MP; the expenses swindler who was sacked from the Cabinet in 2014 and now has the chairmanship of a totally unnecessary Commons committee to shove undeserved extra cash into her pockets; would have us believe that there 650,000 people in Britain don’t know which gender they are despite the very limited options.
    Sounds like she needs to be locked up in a safe space until she grows some common sense. Along with all the other bigots who spend their time dreaming up new hate crimes.

Worst of the worst

The International Association of Athletics Federations (our representative is Lord “see no evil” Coe) has taken the title as the most corrupt organization in the history of sport. The management of FIFA has announced that it is “working hard” to regain its lost crown.

Thursday, 14 January 2016

“No One Will Die”

No one will die if the junior doctors have an all-out strike in England and Wales, their union boss is claiming. Which means that if anyone does die, then he has a whole boxful of alibis and excuses ready to shift the blame elsewhere.
    Looks like it’s time to end all the nonsense about medicine being a “calling” and a “profession” and admit that it’s been downgraded to just another trade run by trade union bosses with a political agenda, who are quite prepared to let the customers go to hell.

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

English Rules, OK!

How curious to see German protesters against sex crimes by migrants waving placards written in English in Leipzig. Clearly going for international recognition of their theme.

There’s your proof

Labour MPs and shadow cabinet ministers skiving off work to posture on picket lines? Who says the doctors’ strike isn’t politically motivated!
    Lest we forget, it was Labour party policy in the decade just gone to let patients die of neglect in NHS hospitals as long as self-serving government targets were met. So it comes as no surprise to find junior doctors who believe that the best way to keep the NHS safe is to abandon their patients.
    And imagine the scene when the strike is over and the patients finally get an appointment for their postponed treatment. It will be: “Good morning, Doctor. You selfish bastard. Nice to see you working for a change.” In thought if not in words.

Monday, 11 January 2016

Wildcards prosper

The NFL fans at the Mansion are coming to terms with the away teams winning all 4 matches over the weekend just gone. Which meant the Chiefs murdering the Texans and the Steelers beating the Bengals (hooray!) on Saturday, and the Vikings losing to the Seaweeds (boo!) and the Packers surprising us against the Redskins (hooray!) on Sunday.

Saturday, 9 January 2016


The latest official advice from the pantomime dame chief medical officer is that if you so much as look at a bottle of wine, whisky or beer, you'll be dead before sunset. (Or dawn, whichever comes sooner.)

Thursday, 7 January 2016

All change

The pantomime Dame being paid to be Britain’s chief medical officer has decided that red wine is no longer good for us. It used to prevent cancer and weight gain and heart attacks. Now, red wine is officially as bad for us as any form of alcohol. Until the next “expert” comes along.

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Dithering Dave

It has taken him a hell of a long time, but Dave the Leader has finally seen sense. He will let his ministers campaign for whichever side of the EU referendum suits them rather than insist that they join him at the Remain camp.
    The length of time which he has taken to reach his obvious decision has been interpreted variously as being due to thick-headedness, arrogance, cowardice, weakness and just being out of touch in the Westmonster Bubble.

Put the blame where it belongs

The reason why the pollsters got their predictions for the last general election so wrong has been exposed. It was all down to “Lazy Labour” voters, who assured the pollsters that they would vote but couldn’t be bothered to on polling day.

Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Different contexts, same idea

British governments, especially the last New Labour ones, sneak out bad news on days when the attention of the news meeja is focussed elsewhere or when everyone is going off on holiday. The Saudi government sneaked a few inconvenient Shi’ites into its New Year mass extermination of terrorists, who had been clogging up prison places for years. Is there that much difference in the morality?

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Banners are all the same

How strange that the people who want to ban Donald Trump from Britain don’t realize that they are making themselves the same as Trump, who wants a temporary ban on Moslems entering the United States until they have learnt not to blow people up and murder them in the name of their weird religion.

Friday, 1 January 2016

Wonders of the world – for the wrong reason

Dubai seems to be obsessed with throwing up taller and taller buildings. But what sort of cowboys are doing the construction work? The New Year’s Eve pictures of a 63-storey hotel and apartment block ablaze from top to bottom make you wonder exactly what they’re building them out of other than recycled firewood.