Tuesday, 31 October 2017

Snowflake Heaven

Sussex University has a free speech society; which is policed by a snowflake students’ union, which demands the right to vet advance copies of speeches on the topic of free speech so that they can issue warnings to any snowflakes who might be upset by being challenged by free speech. As Richard Littlejohn keeps on having to say: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Misconnected facts

The UN’s weather agency, the WMO, is telling us that the last time atmospheric carbon dioxide levels were at the value they are now, sea levels were 20 metres higher than they are now. No danger of an explanation of why today’s sea levels are so low if carbon dioxide levels are dangerously high (according to the GWFs).

Politicians kill

Air pollution is being blamed for 40,000 premature deaths per year, and the dash-for-diesel by Labour in the Noughties in pursuit of the global warming fraudsters’ agenda is getting a major chunk of the blame.

Monday, 30 October 2017

Wrong medium, half the message

“Don’t Read Everything You Believe” it said on the side of a bus. By the time I’d digested the mangled quotation, the bus was past me and I never got to the tag line. It was a cute idea frustrated by the execution, and I never did find out what it was advertising.

Well done, Lewis

It was more like a day out than a Grand Prix for Lewis Hamilton in Mexico yesterday. Naturally, the Ferrari Intentional Assistance took no action against Vettel for driving into him and giving him a puncture which dropped him to the back of the field. But Hamilton won the driver’s championship anyway. Good!

Sunday, 29 October 2017

What is the point?

Ex-president O’Bummer has been told that he will be required to report for jury duty in an area of Chicago, where he has one of his homes, in November. Which is clearly just a publicity stunt on the part of the judge who called him up. After all, what prosecutor or defence counsel in his right mind is likely to want such a huge distraction from their arguments on a jury?

How do you know he’s lying? His mouth is moving.

Jezzer Corbyn, the people’s champion, said his party will not tolerate any form of discrimination or harassment. His nose promptly lengthened by 7.39 inches.

No, shame on you, comrade

These trade unionists are a blinkered bunch. In today’s Sunday Post, one from the boilermakers’ union is quoted as talking about “Scotland’s austerity shame after a decade of cuts to local government funding and . . . education budgets”.
    Not a hint of recognition that the austerity was due to the fiscal stupidity of Gordon Brown (Labour, Scottish) during 13 years of New Labour misrule – supported by the boilermakers and other trade unions, of course.
    If you’ve overspent recklessly and you’re deep in debt, austerity is inevitable. And the only shame belongs to the politicians and the trade unions who made the austerity happen.

Saturday, 28 October 2017

Look in a mirror

The ‘entertainers’ on Radio Four’s The News Quiz did one of their knocking jobs on the concept of balance in broadcasting this week. How ironic that not a one of them spotted that they are part of the counterblast to sensible items and people who know what they’re talking about.


The UK has a £3 BILLION stake in the Europeon Investment Bank. We are being told that it will be repaid in dribs and drabs over the next 37 years and the account will not be settled in full until 2054. But this is not punishment for Brexit.
    If that is true, I would hate to see what the bastards come up with if they decide to be vindictive.

Friday, 27 October 2017

GWS with the hump

Is anyone surprised that the BBC had to offer a grovelling apology after affording the right of freedom of expression to Lord Lawson in defiance of the Hutagonian convention on the not-so-great global warming swindle? Thought not.

Time Warp(ed)

A lady in Cornwall thinks the BBC's shock-horror executions in the Gunpowder Plot play were justified because “executions were family entertainment 400 years ago”. Maybe someone should mention that times have changed a bit since 1605. But maybe not in Cornwall?

Pick of the moment

One minute, we’re being invited to believe that President Trump is as thick as three short planks. The next, we’re being told that he’s at the heart of a vast international conspiracy. It’s wonderful. Can’t wait for the book, the films and the TV series, which should run and run now that the steam has gone out of UFOs.

Mental not physical

Here’s another reason to back Brexit: the Euro Court of Justice has ruled that bridge is not a sport, to the chagrin of the English Bridge Union, which wanted to be let off VAT on tournaments.
    HMRC, in contrast, got the result it wanted, but there may be a bump on the road if bridge can be classified as a VAT-free cultural service.

Thursday, 26 October 2017

Propaganda which won’t stand up to scrutiny

The Tory MP who asked universities what they are teaching about Brexit seems to have touched off a firestorm of left-wing shame and guilt. Why else would they have accused C. Heaton-Harris of McCarthyism? Clearly, the outraged academics are wriggling furiously in an attempt to prevent light from being shone into their black hole.
    What are the sneaky sods hiding? And have they stopped beating their spouses?

No heart attacks here

Hillary Clinton tried to sleaze Donald Trump during the presidential election campaign using a fake-news dossier compiled by a guy who used to work for MI-6. Not a piece of news calculated to make anyone fall over in amazement.

Fake amazement

Why should anyone be surprised that MPs will be voting on the Brexit deal, if there is one, after the UK has exited from the EU in March 2019? That’s the way the EU operates. It’s never possible to get that many states to agree on anything until after the deadline has passed because there are always two or three hold-outs/awkward sods who want more for themselves. Never has been, never will be.
    Getting the EU to agree on anything is like trying to get 27 rats in a sack to agree on a common lunch menu to get a quantity discount.

We need a new name for them

We used to have universities, which were centres of learning and inquiry. Now, they have been reduced to monoversities with one view – one permitted view – on everything.
    Global warming is going on at a dangerous rate and it is (entirely implied) man-made; Brexit is a disaster; politics must be left-wing with everyone taking a contrary view excluded/evicted; and students need ‘distress warnings’ about obvious facts of life. Purpose, fit for, not spring to mind.
    No doubt Bremoaners will deny that the £1.2 billion which universities receive from the EU; with all the attendant obligations to pretend that the EU is the best thing since the invention of the bread slicer; has anything to do with their attitude.

A place for everyone

The experts at Plymouth university have decided that psychopaths are essential to the human race as only a person devoid of empathy can take tough but necessary decisions, like choosing to shoot down an airliner before terrorists can crash it into a tall building.

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

Unequal under the law

On the same theme, Labour MP J. O’Mara, who did the nation the favour of evicting N. Clegg at the last election, thinks he shouldn’t have to resign for making sexist and racialist remarks 15 years ago because that rule applies only to Tories.


Further to the story about the Tory MP who’s also a referee (Oct 22): it seems that Labour MP L. Pidcock was on holiday in Venice instead of attending her party’s vitally important session on Universal Credit. No censure for her, of course, especially as she went on anti-social meeja to create the impression that she was in London on that day.

Bankster to be banged up?

GOOD NEWS: a former HSBC bankster has been convicted of currency fraud in the US and faces up to 20 years in gaol. M. Johnson is now 51. By the time he comes out, the pension age should have reached 71, so he'll be okay for income. Alternatively, he might do a deal to rat on other banksters and go into Witness Protection.

There’s still a lot of fat around

Despite “The Cuts”, local councils are still managing to pay their employees over the odds for using a car at work; anything up to 50% more than the mileage rate approved by HMRC. No wonder they’re ripping off motorists for every possible penny for parking charges, straying into undefined bus lanes, etc.

Tuesday, 24 October 2017

Peak car condition achieved

The reason for the decline in car sales has been revealed by the motor trade. It’s nothing to do with Brexit or ‘pay to pollute’ scams. The simple fact is that everyone who wants one now has a car and there’s no need to build lots more.

More bad news for Snowflakes

Some universities have decided that they really need to warn trainee doctors that they might be upset by being confronted with dead bodies and talk of people dying.

If anyone deserves to be told to F.O. . . .

Some FO stooge is lobbying the UN to ban the term “pregnant women” in favour of “pregnant people”. Which kind of ignores that it’s a biological fact that only female humans become pregnant (apart from the odd hermaphrodite mutant?)

Monday, 23 October 2017

Weasel words warning

When you hear an earnest voice on a TV advert saying something like: “especially with living costs going up”, it’s time to duck because living costs never do anything other than go up, which means that the soothing voice probably has a pig in a poke to unload.

The obvious solution

If the Spanish PM wants to “restore some order” in Catalonia, why doesn’t he just send for QuickQuid?

Pragmatic and practical

At least one government minister knows what has to be done with British citizens who join terrorist groups abroad – kill them all in the interests of public safety.
    We can only hope that they use something a bit cheaper than £75K-a-pop missiles to take out the traitors.

Two and out

The WHO has sacked Saint Mug, the president-for-life of Zimbabwe, from his goodwill ambassador job after a couple of days. Insiders are hinting that he didn’t come through with a big enough bung.

Sunday, 22 October 2017

SNAFW (that’s W for whinge)

An SNP gobsworth is complaining that the Scottish Tory MP who’s also a football referee is ‘treating his constituents with utter contempt’ after he skived off a cosmetic Labour session on welfare reform in the Commons to do a match in Spain. But if there’s any contempt around, it has to be reserved for the gobsworth hacks and their confected outrage.
    The SNP guy thinks the Tory should give up his reffing, but if he did, that would mean that the entire Scottish team of refs would be out of the World Cup in Russia next year because the rule is that if it’s one out of the team, then it’s all out. But if that happened, the SNP guy would get another whinge opportunity. So he’s probably all for it.

Yet another survey

Ever wondered why some high streets are wall-to-wall coffee joints? The industry would have us believe that everybody in the UK spends £45,000 over a lifetime buying plastic containers of coffee, and it believes in shoving lots of temptation in the potential customer’s path. Spare a thought for the poor sod who’s having to spend £90K to make up for my non-participation in the racket.

Ill-mannered loutism endorsed

An ‘expert’ has decided that standing is good for old people and it is therefore okay for youngsters to hog seats on public transport, like that do.

Technology too far

A Virgin Media Tivo box is a bloody menace. I turned my back on it for a minute during an advert break and it changed channels to something I had no intention of watching! Worse, I saw two red lights at the right-hand side, which turned out to be the box recording two programmes in which I had no interest at all.

Saturday, 21 October 2017


The luvvie tendency is going big with faux indignation about the story that it costs 55p/minute to phone the Universal Credit helpline. This is nothing to do with the government, of course, and all to do with rip-off charges by mobile phone companies. But then, luvvies feel they shouldn’t be constrained by boring facts and the truth.

The larger the organization, the more out-of-touch it becomes

The management of the WHO has been declared insane after appointing Robert Mugabe as a goodwill ambassador. The new head of the WHO is full of praise for the state of health care in Zimbabwe; but he’s from Ethiopia.
    Had he consulted people who actually live in Zimbabwe, he would have been told that Mug has trashed the health system there and he always zooms off to Singapore when he needs medical treatment.

The default is a swindle

I had a Virgin Money bond, which matured. The alternatives on offer were accounts paying derisory amounts of interest or an account paying 0.1% (at a time when inflation is running at 3%) as the default. Not exactly calculated to prolong customer loyalty, which explains why the cash came out of Mr. Virgin’s coffers pronto.

Friday, 20 October 2017

Not ‘me too’, just ‘me’

It is impossible to avoid the suspicion that the genius who came up with the idea of intergenerational inequality had just seen the film version of Logan’s Run. (rather than read the book, of course) Because that’s the direction the snowflakes and those pandering to them seem to be taking.

Just trying to dilute the HUTAgonian somewhat

I’ve been asked, “Xav, why bother?” Well, we are constantly bombarded with dodgy conclusions drawn from dodgy data, especially in the world of politics, and some of us civilians like to join in to let the professionals know that anyone can do it and we ain’t impressed.

The new luvvie pecking order

One gets the impression that all the world’s celebs; male, female and don’t know alike; have now been bunged into 3 categories:
(a) were harassed, (b) said “No!” and (c) always have been totally unshaggable. And that everyone in cat (c) is busting a gut to be promoted to cat (b) at least.

What do MPs do all day?

Some of them spend an hour in the bath, making themselves all soggy and wrinkly, before wasting their time and taxpayers’ money on the proceedings of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Mindfulness. There can’t be much wrong with the world if that’s all they have to do with themselves.

Thursday, 19 October 2017

One-sided outrage

As another institution removes the name of a patron who was involved in the slave trade in a cloud of confected indignation, let us demand some proportionality. Why is the outrage never directed at the Africans, who rounded up and sold their fellow countrymen (and women and children) and flogged off their bodies to anyone with the asking price? Probably because pandering to the imagined grievances of current generations of racialist minorities is mandatory in luvvie circles.

It makes as much sense as any of the others

Conspiracy theorists are suggesting that the current Weinstein Obsession, which some are seeking to broaden from the entire film industry to the music industry as well, is being fomented by the Burmese government to push attention away from the ethnic cleansing, which is being performed by the Burmese army in the area bordering Bangladesh.

Don’t kno nuffink generation

You have to wonder what sort of people universities are letting in these days if Cambridge has to issue Snowflake Distress Warnings to new recruits to tell them that course material based on the works of Wm. Shackspere and other playwrights could contain sex and violence, which will distress them. If they’re bright enuf to go to Oxbridge, you’d expect them to know stuff like that.

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Semantics, dear boy!

Firms which offer a “made to order” pizza feel entitled to take one out of the freezer and defrost it but still deliver the slogan. How come?
    Because the industry allows a product made in response to an order to be called “freshly prepared”. Even if the “order” is a hypothetical one, which someone might just make sometime in the future, and the firm assembles and freezes the pizza in anticipation of that future order.
    ● Customers are advised not to believe “hand-made”, “fresh”, “home-cooked” and similar cute claims.

As you sow, you reap

It’s all very well for sometime quarterback C. Kraepernic to file a grievance against the NFL’s team owners but no one owes him a job and they are entitled to look beyond a player’s stats to who he is. If they think he’s likely to be a huge distraction from the club’s march toward the Super Bowl with his me-me-me agenda, they are entitled to make individual decisions not to have anything to do with him.

Tuesday, 17 October 2017

New Deal

Austria has chosen a teenage president, who wants to stop economic migration and creeping Islamism, cut taxes, give everyone a good minimum wage and kick the EU out of his country’s business. Sounds like he’ll be a big hit.

And equality for all

Two holiday food-poisoning scammers are caught and sent to gaol. The bloke gets 15 months. Does his partner-in-crime get the same? No, she’s going down only for 9 months, which will probably work out as that many weeks in practice. So much for fairness and everyone being equal under the law.

No discrimination here!

Here’s a good one, which someone pointed out to me on antisocial meeja:
Dear Landsend.co.uk,
    I received a mailing addressed to MR [name redacted], which would indicate that you know that I am a bloke. But inside, I found a leaflet with offers for female clothing.
    Was this a not-very-clever attempt at humour? Or were you just taking the mickey? Neither of the above is likely to build up a high degree of consumer enthusiasm.
    Yours, [name redacted] (Mr.)

Monday, 16 October 2017

Open Season

The message now seems to be that you’re no one in the movie biz if Harvey Weinstein didn’t make a move on you. The smart ones are saying that they fought him off and no, they’re not making it up for PR purposes; knowing no one is going to call them a liar for fear of being trolled.
    Worse, everyone who turned out to be a flop, or has a floppy relative, is blaming Mr. Weinstein for wrecking the relevant career.

Nice, but pointless day out

Hundreds of people gathered in Edinburgh on the 2nd Saturday of the month to protest against Brexit @ a Bremoaner rally.
    Hundreds of thousands of people boycotted the event.


Are we impressed by 57-year-old Nigella announcing that she has only just found out how to poach an egg? Maybe she should have consulted my mother, who can turn them out three at a time from her egg-poacher pan, which has been around for decades.

Sunday, 15 October 2017

Well-meaning if futile

In Switzerland, public toilets are illuminated with blue lights so that drug addicts can’t find their veins. Which seems to assume that everyone in need of a fix is too dim to pack a torch in their kit or take along a miner’s helmet.

Saturday, 14 October 2017

We’ll let you know, mate

Looks like the Europeon Commission president, J-C-Drunker, has engaged a new scriptwriter in an attempt to appear a bit more human. This is evident from his latest offering, in which he thanked Britain for winning World War 2 and saving the world – and then went on to renew his demand for €100 billion as a divorce bill settlement. The spirit of Monty Python lives on!
    Despite the welcome addition of a few jokes, his speech was viewed widely as ‘as unhelpful as usual’, suggesting that M. Druncker’s focus remains as blurry as ever and he rambled off piste during the delivery.

Telling it like it is

According to a BBC lunchtime comic, joining the EU is like joining a snooker club. Strange that he didn’t go on to add: ‘But after you’ve been in it for a few years, they tell you that playing snooker is now the last thing they want to do. And they look surprised when you leave.’

Say cheese!

These ‘experts’! They come at you from all angles. A study for a firm which makes shoes has found that on average, adults smile 11 times per day; and mean it 9 of the 11 times. Surprisingly, things that make people feel good are most likely to promote smiles.
    70% of those surveyed said that grinning at other people made them feel happy. No information was released on how the recipients of the unsolicited grins felt, however.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Another stick to beat Corbyn with

Following the announcement that the CIA took out British Islamist terrorist S. Jones with a drone back in June, our Man of Opposition refused to say whether he would order a similar mission against another of the country’s enemies if he were PM. Probably because he didn’t want to say out loud that any enemy of the Tories is a friend of his. Not very fair, but fair is what politics isn’t, and no one is holding a gun to Jezzer’s head.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

There’s always a way

Venezuela, the spiritual home of PM wannabe J. Corbyn, has run out of the materials for creating new passports. Paper and printing ink have joined food and medicines on the list of things which are unobtainable unless you’re a member of the regime.
    But these commies are nothing if not tricky, and the president has recycled an old wine list as an emergency degree extending the life of existing passports by two years.

Dwelling on divorce

According to the Centre for Europeon Policy Studies, the EU has assets of €160 billion and liabilities of €232 billion. The EU is therefore in the red to the tune of €72 billion. As the UK is contributing 14% of the EU budget, the maximum divorce payment that can reasonably be expected is 14% of the deficit, i.e.  €10 billion rather than the €100 billion which the EU is demanding.
    An even fairer settlement would be 1/28th of the deficit, i.e. €2.6 billion.

Life’s mysteries

How does Weinstein become “winesteen” rather than “wheenstine”? Especially if the spelling indicates “winestine”. Or “wheensteen” if you want to be perverse.

Something else the ‘experts’ got wrong

The news wings of BBC and Channel 4, all sorts of MP rent-a-gobs, ditto academics and, of course, the Eurocrats scoffed at the idea of people flocking from East Europe to the UK when their transitional limitation period ran out in 2014. Even though this is exactly what happened when New Labour opened our borders to spite the Tories a decade earlier.
    The last count of Romanians and Bulgarians here came to over 400,000, most of them Romanians. And people wonder why there’s a housing shortage and schools are bulging.

Who exactly is doing the exploiting?

We seem to be seeing a “Real People for Weinstein” movement developing in response to all the anguish by luvvies, who prostituted themselves for some reflected glory, and who are now claiming they didn’t do it for the money and the meeja attention.

Ultimatum, Schmultimatum

The Spanish government has given the Catalan president until next Monday to reveal whether he actually signed the Declaration of Independence in his Ignore Tray. Or what? The tanks go in and bombs start to fall on Tuesday?

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Yes, but not now

Catalonia has declared independence from Spain but the signed declaration has been filed in the regional president’s Ignore Tray rather than his Action Tray. The region’s departure would drop the same sort of financial bombshell on the regime in Madrid as Brexit will drop on the vultures in Brussels. Which explains why the Spanish government is reviving the worst of the nastiness from the country’s experiences under anarchism, communism and fascism.

Selective-opportunities employer

On the other hand, if you’re white, male and normal, don’t try getting a job with British Transport Police, which has no vacancies for this category of employee due to an obsession with diversity at the expense of competence.

Equal-opportunities employer

If you’re an honest terrorist and you fancy a public sector job, try the council for Southwark in London. They don’t bother to check their job application forms for such details as declared criminal offences.

Tuesday, 10 October 2017

Copy-catting is okay

In America, they have a POTUS - President Of The United States. After Brexit, we should have a POTLUK – Prime-minister Of The Liberated Untied Kingdom.

Experts at it again

Alleged traffic experts say that the traffic scheme which got 10 people injured in Kensington & Chelsea is intended to make drivers proceed more slowly and cautiously and show greater consideration for the pedestrians milling about among them. Whoever came up with that notion seems ideally qualified to take over the Wiltshire police farce!

Fiction factory

The Wiltshire police farce’s list of ‘credible’ accusations against the late Sir Edward Heath includes one from a man who is known to be a habitual liar and a paedophile serial sex offender, and someone known to confess to murders in his spare time. No doubt he felt right at home with the fantasists in charge of policing in Wiltshire.
    M. Veale, the chief constable, seems to be doing his best to talk up his delusions of an Establishment cover-up and turn it in to a conspiracy on the level of all the cover-ups of UFO sightings by officialdom. Sounds like he needs to be sacked for wasting police time and resources, and told to do his fantasizing on is own time and at his own expense.

Hype expiring

The case of the Uber taxi driver who crashed in to 10 pedestrians has been downgraded from terrorism to what looks like a case of an accident arranged to happen by Kensington & Chelsea council.
    The incident took place in an area designed to make vehicles and pedestrians share the same space with no kerbs or markings to separate them.

Pointless pensioners

The ‘experts’ would have us believe that there is no biological reason for humans to have evolved to live past 50 or so, and especially not for females to live past breeding age. Which invites either the conclusion that the reason is not biological or that the experts are too dim to spot it.

Monday, 9 October 2017

At least there will be someone doing the work

Chief constables are hoping to build up their small army of unpaid volunteers to help out in back-room jobs. The police union is muttering about the perils of enthusiastic amateurs doing jobs once tackled by “highly trained professionals”, but it is a way of getting around the Spanish practices and letting people with time on their hands make a contribution.

Political stupidity

There’s not much point in having a census if it doesn’t collect basic information such as the sex of the customer. If ticking the boxes is optional, all the census becomes is just make-work for the people employed by the census industry, which is outwith government control, like the Bank of England, and the statistics manufacturing industry. Pandering to tiny minorities at the expense of doing a proper job also renders census data worthless to future generations of historians.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

A whiff of honesty

Ofcom is giving new rules to broadband providers. In future, they will have to bin their 'up to' garbage and reveal actual peak-time speeds. They will also have to guarantee a minimum speed, which could become the basis of contract-busting or even compensation claims.

The stoopidest advert ever made?

That one with the little robot with the cartoon Arnold Schwarzenberger head going, "Do it now!" has to be the No. 1 contender for the biscuit.

Saturday, 7 October 2017

Accessories of questionable legitimacy

There is no excuse for the bump stock. Anyone using a gun to shoot cuddly critters or targets has no need of more than one bullet per pull of the trigger. Anything else is frivolous recreation of the sort practised by militia in the Middle East, which should be discouraged in allegedly civilized countries.
    Silencers, or more correctly sound suppressors, do have more legitimacy in that they prevent damage to the hearing. Telling shooters that they need to wear ear-defenders is all very well, but it does nothing for anyone standing nearby, who might have a profound religious bias against ear-goggles. Don’t laugh, someone will claim this.

The less they know, the more they wiggle

The Vegas mass murderer may have had an accomplice and an escape plan, the cops are saying. There’s nothing like being clueless to fuel the imagination.
    The FBI has found 2 dents, which look like bullet strikes, on some giant jet fuel tanks some 300 yards from the concert venue. Paddock may have loosed off a couple of rounds in that direction, or not, but he seems to be getting the credit for it.
    And there’s a mystery woman, who was seen with Stephen Paddock. Or a woman who happened to be in the same CCTV shot and completely unconnected with him.
    Paddock may also have had an accomplice, who lumbered the guns and ammo to his hotel suite. Or he may just have had lots of luggage and let the hotel staff hump it.
    Knowing so little for sure, the cops have admitted that they are taking their lack of solid information as a licence to speculate wildly. This is one which will run and run.

Which is it?

There are differences of opinion on the logic behind our new plastic banknotes. Are they meant to be user-friendly to Millennial snowflakes, because they feel like bank cards and pocket-phones? Or are they intended to make people give up cash in favour of electronic transactions because banknotes feel cheap and plasticy and worthless?

Friday, 6 October 2017

Multilingual cloth-ears

Whilst watching TV: “What was that he just said: ‘damn cochon’ or ‘danke schon’?”

Murkier and murkier

We are now being given to believe that the Wiltshire police farce nobly resisted opportunities to have Sir Edward Heath labelled a Satanist. Presumably, because the chief constable thought that adding Satanism to an already ludicrous charge list would confirm to everyone that the police were just extracting the urine. And, of course, giving aid and comfort to even more people with spurious compensation claims.

For the good of the party?

Or is it for the good of the wallet? The gang of ‘rebels’ lining up to try to get rid of Mrs. May seems to comprise Cameroonies who were ditched, and who seem to be trying to get someone friendlier to them in to Downing Street – someone more likely to give them a well-paid job with lots of lovely expenses and perks, that is.

Thursday, 5 October 2017


Supporters of the Conservative party are calling for the sack for all MPs who called for Foreign Sec. Boris Johnson to be sacked over his dead bodies in Libya comment. Such people, the Tory grassroots feel, are humourless robots who are unfit to represent a great party of real people.

Expensive failure

The Wiltshire police are doing a desperate PR job to make their attempt to pin child abuse charges on the former PM Sir Edward Heath look like proper police work. But as they made it clear from the outset that “guilty” was the only verdict they were looking for, and spending millions of pounds on trawling yielded just a crop of fantasists, it’s not going to wash. They’re not fit for purpose and everyone involved should be sacked.

More choice, please!

There is a move afoot to make organ donation the default, which means that people will have to opt out – rather in, as at present. In that case, it would be an excellent idea to provide a tick-box for “Please DO NOT harvest my organs whilst I am still mobile, aware and compos mentis” in case a future fascist leftie government extends its concept of everyTHING being the property of the state to everyBODY.
    This is something which could happen later in the century, when the Blessed and Eternal Leader Jezzer the Corbyn the Magnificent is in need of his umpteenth full-body transplant to keep him going.

So what?

Party conferences: do they really matter? Does anyone remember what happened at any of them last year? Or the year before? Or the year before that?

Harmless host

In case anyone is wondering how Spain would treat Gibraltarians if the Spanish were allowed access to the Rock, just take a quick keek at what happened in Catalonia.

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

That’s one way to bend the rules

One of the women-only colleges at Cambridge university is to end its discrimination against 50% of the population by admitting men. But only if they pretend to be women.

Way to go, Moggy!

Jacob Rees-Mogg seems to have found a devastating weapon to use against Corbynasty fanatics. He’s polite to them and treats them as if they could be something resembling a decent human being, which baffles the hell out of them because they don’t have a strategy for someone who doesn’t start screaming and trying to start a punch-up when confronted by an opponent.

We know, we know, already!

Is anyone in any doubt that Boris Johnson published an “unauthorized” 4,000 word essay on Brexit? Something you’d expect from an experienced newspaper journalist. Or that, as Foreign Secretary and the champion of Brexit, he painted some red lines just before the Tory conference?
    In the light of the above, we don’t really need to be reminded of it by lazy journalists with space to fill.

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

There must be a good reason

It’s all very well for Democraps to moan at President Trump about gun control, but why didn’t their guy, Obama, get guns out of private hands during his 8 years in the White House? Clearly, gun control wasn’t anything the Democraps were bothered about when they were in charge.

Put the blame where it belongs

By Labour rules, the blame for the mass murder in Las Vegas has to fall on J. Corbyn. If Labour can blame the Tories for the Grenfell Tower fire, even though the cladding was there because of Labour and EU policies and the blaze was started by a foreigner’s dodgy fridge, then it is only fair and reasonable to blame Corbyn for what happened in Las Vegas.

Ads Forever

Aren’t some firms real cheapskates? How old is that kid, who has been wanting to make a spaceship out of the Fairly Liquid bottle for . . . decades, is it? A teenager? A snowflake student? Time for something new and different.

A new victim card

Royal Mail staff are getting ready to vote on whether to strike over pay and conditions. One of their problems is with the Royal Mail’s policy of ensuring that staff work all the hours for which they are paid. Which discriminates against skivers, presumably.

Monday, 2 October 2017

Spain turns Corbynasty

What do you get when the Catalans hold a meaningless independence vote and thumb their collective noses at the Spanish government? Police brutality on a hysterical scale and the Spanish government in the dog house for totalitarian tactics worthy of the Corby Cult’s trolls.

Explanation needed

If Labour manages to abolish capitalism, what then? If there is no wealth generation going on at the level need to sustain the economy for a population the size of ours, we need to know how Labour will get the money to pay a vast army of public sector clients and service their generous pensions.
    Borrowing will work only until potential lenders realize that they have no chance of getting their capital back, or payment of the junk-bond interest rates, which Labour will be forced to offer.
    Hint to J. Corbyn: no one believes in your magic money forest.

Sunday, 1 October 2017

There’s nowt as annoying as tourists

The latest craze for Chinese and Japanese tourists is to take selfies with the remains of Grenfell Tower in the background. The locals are up in arms but they are bound to be fighting a losing battle with the forces of history. Grenfell Tower is the new Colosseum for some.

Well, that was a bit of a laugh

Talk about driving the wheels off the bloody car!!! It was Vettel’s fault that his Ferrari became a Reliant Robin on the slow-down lap of the last Malaysian Grand Prix for a while, so the stewards just looked blank and pretended it never happened.

U kip if you want to, we’re still here!

UKIP has a new Farage. He's ex-army, a holder of the OBE for services to international security and he used to work for the F.O. in Brussels. His tipple of choice has yet to be placed prominently on the record.

There’s another investment opportunity gone

The bottom is dropping out of the classic car market as the skilled mechanic becomes extinct. The current generation of car fixers can’t do anything if there’s nowhere for them to plug in a computer to do a diagnostic. They just don’t know how to strip down a vehicle and spot faults.

Here’s a new one

It seems there is a cloth-eyes equivalent of cloth-ears. How else would you describe someone who misreads an on-screen caption about the CFL team the Montreal Alouettes and asks: “Is that an Arab team, the Al Quettes?”