Monday, 31 July 2017

A fair question

Something we’d dearly love to know is how all the people with electric cars are going to charge them up if the wind isn’t blowing and the sun isn’t shining? Points will be deducted for arrant political BS.

Eastern politics

What do you do if you’re a prime minister who has been evicted from office for corruption? Give the job to your brother. That’s how it works in Pakistan.

Future shock

It looks like we won’t have to worry about a huge trade deficit with Germany, post-Brexit, as far as the motor vehicle industry is concerned. Audi, BMW, Daimler, Porsche and Volkswagen all face fines in the multiples of billions for price-fixing and emissions fraud, which could drive them into extinction.
    Alternatively, there is the good news possibility that if they feel like relocating for a fresh start under a new name, and out of the clutches of the EU, the obvious place to move is here.

Just a gesture

The government plan to reduce the speed limit on motorways to 60 mph to cut air pollution looks doomed to failure. Congestion in the worst areas means that vehicles rarely reach 60 mph anyway.

Sunday, 30 July 2017

What about the austerity?

Again from the Sunday Post: Notwork Rail has announced that the £800 million scheme to cut 10 minutes off the train journey between Edinburgh and Glasgow has been delayed by a year. Which invites the question: Is it really worth blowing all that cash to save 10 minutes? Especially when there are lots of other things more pressing to be done. How many pot-holes in major roads could be repaired given that amount of cash?

Die! Die! Even if it’s a lie

‘Campaigners’ are claiming that 40,000 people per year die as a result of vehicle air pollution. That’s roughly twice the official guess of 23,000, but hey! Never let facts get in the way of a good story.

Scotland’s failed police experiment

Today’s Sunday Post makes grim reading about the state of policing in Scotland. Reducing the original regional police forces to one vast Police Scotland seems to have created a huge, bureaucratic monster with its focus on itself and having little regard for the people who pay for it and the people whom it is supposed to serve and protect. Sounds rather like the EU, come to think of it.

Saturday, 29 July 2017

AI? U Die!

Today’s Daily Mail has an article about the differences of opinion of two internet billionaires; the Facebook guy, who thinks robots will wipe out humans, and the PayPal and SpaceX guy, who thinks we have nothing to fear from Artificial Intelligences and the technology could be used to upgrade humans.
    After watching Hackney council workmen on TV, sweeping up after the latest riot by their local and neighbouring criminals, it is easy to believe that a spot of upgrading can be only a good thing.

Another scare story; yawn

We are being told that rockets fired by North Korean boss Kim Jong-whoever ‘could’ now hit London and New York. There are two things very wrong with this as a scare. Firstly, everyone knows there are light years between that ‘could’ and ‘can’. And secondly, who the hell cares if a small missile lands on London or New York? It’s not as if anyone valuable will be written off. Especially if Parliament is sitting at the time.

Friday, 28 July 2017

It’s all a bit of a charade, really

Today’s papers are getting excited because the police think Kensington & Chelsea council and the tenant management association for Grenfell Tower ‘may have’ gone somewhere down the road to corporate manslaughter But there’s a long way to go, and a lot of cash to go into the pockets of the legal profession, before ‘may have’ gets close to ‘guilty’. Especially if the council was doing nothing different from dozens of other councils around the country.
    Strange that we’re hearing nothing about the EU regulations, which put thermal cladding on the tower block in the first place, and proceedings against the manufacturer of the dodgy fridge, which set the building on fire.
    Further, this is corporate manslaughter the police are talking about, which is punishable only by a fine, which just involves moving taxpayers‘ cash from one public pocket to another. So what we have now is just some aimless puff.

Missed opportunity

One thing that’s surprising is that the global warming fraudsters aren’t jumping up and down and pointing to the wildfires in Portugal, France, Italy and the Balkans, and claiming that the same is going to happen here in a few years. Is their scam running out of steam a bit?

Be clean & green; it’ll cost you!

If they don’t get you one way, they’ll get you another. Thus owners of electric cars will find themselves having to pay 50% more insurance than owners of internal combustion cars because of the high cost of repair/replacement of batteries and motors.

Thursday, 27 July 2017

Trains for Century 21

I have been informed that a certain amount of psychological profiling goes on in the selection process for new train drivers, which offers the interesting prospect of selecting for people who actively enjoy driving a train. Such recruits would be less willing to leap out on strike at the behest of some puffed-up union official, who wants to get his ugly mug on TV, as it would ruin the train driver’s day.
    Even better, if the profiling could be extended to finding people who would actually be willing to pay for the privilege of being allowed to drive a train, then we would be on the way to a wonderful age of the railways in the 21st century, with happy drivers, happy customers because the trains are actually running and happy railway other ranks because the customers don't keep annoying them by asking where their bloody (strike-bound) train is.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Problem solved!

Education Sec. (although, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of time she spends poking her nose into other people’s business) J. Greening has come up with a simple fix to help the Church of England get to grips with same-sex marriage. It involves one member of a same-sex couple swapping gender for the day so that a man and a woman turn up at the altar.


Another of these bogus surveys claims that the average Briton breaks the law 32 times per year. No surprise that it turns out to be just a publicity puff for a programme on a TV channel that most of us have never heard of.

Justice made easy

The government has the power to check the current fashion for attacks with acid, bleach and other corrosive chemicals. It just has to raise the minimum sentence for assault by chemical to 10 years in gaol and sideline any judges who refuse to apply the law for political reasons.

Migrants will inherit the Earth; for a while

‘Up to’ 20% of men in the Western world are sub-fertile, according to the latest batch of experts. This is because they are stressed, polluted and two-thirds of them are overweight or obese. Thus as the native populations of the West go extinct, there will be plenty of room for migrants from the East, who will also become stressed, polluted and fat, and die out in their turn.
    The world will end with the East empty of people because everyone has migrated to the West, and a few zombie-like former Easterners in the West on the path to oblivion.

Catching up

The French did it a couple of weeks earlier. In the last week of July, our government has decreed that only new electric cars can be sold from 2040 on in the name of reducing air pollution. Existing diesel and petrol cars will be allowed to run until either they croak or the owner can no longer pay licence-to-kill pollution charges.

Spivs is always spivs

If you buy anything containing chocolate made by a major manufacturer, you will be swindled. The size of packs and the weight of contents in lots of them has shrunk over the last 5 years and yet retail prices have risen. The manufacturers blame things like rises in the prices of cocoa and sugar; which have fallen in price over the last 5 years. The next excuse is that they are profiteering in the name of combatting o’besity and improving health and we’re being ripped off for our own good. Yeah, right.

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Silly fashion kills

The fad for wearing jeans with ripped knees is costing lives in Turkey, the world’s biggest source of destroyed jeans. 41 people are known to have died of silicosis from the ablation process, and over 1,000 others are known to have the lung disease in various stages.

Common sense; just use it

Should we feel threatened by the prospect of chlorine-washed chicken arriving from the USA after Brexit? Not if the chlorine is washed off again, rather than being left on the carcase as a sort of halogen marinade. And the customer cooks the chicken properly.

Cheap trick, not impressed

Cabinet minister for something or other J. Greening might think she can get votes out of saying it’s okay for a person to pick which sex they want to be described as; or none at all; but she can’t expect the rest of us to take sex-swappers’ delusions at all seriously. That would infringe our ’uman rights!

Accidental mayhem

During the Monday Night CFL match between the Ottawa Redblacks and the Toronto Argonauts, the referee called a holding penalty on the Argos, stuck his right arm out sideways to point at their goal zone and nearly drove his finger into the side of the helmet of a Redblack, who was running past him on his way to his sideline.
    Which left me wondering if a ref has ever had to retire injured from a match, NFL or CFL, with a broken finger due to reckless pointing.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Stiffen them upper lips, immediately!

Don’t you just wish the royal princes were less of a pair of wimpy whingers? They’re bent out of shape over the length of their final phone calls with their mother in 1997. But none of them knew what was going to happen, and neither of the kids, who were 12 and 15 at the time, did anything wrong, bad or unfeeling.
    What happened wasn’t their fault, it happened in another country and it was nothing to do with them. It’s nothing any sensible person should feel guilty about and it would be great if they could just man up and be less embarrassing.

They don’t get it

What we don’t need is females at the BBC paid the same as males. What we really need is males paid at the current female rates. Especially as some woman was moaning about being paid just £60K for reading the news on the telly and claiming that most people she knows in the real world are absolutely astonished at how little she earns. That ‘just’ certainly does not belong there. Just ask anyone in the real ‘real world’. And the astonishment is purely for how much she is paid (rather than earns) for the old rope.

And Justice For All

Israel’s security forces have found an interesting new source of income. They raid the homes of Palestinians suspects and stroll off with any cash they find as ‘money used for terror’.
    Meanwhile, in Indonesia, there is a ‘shoot to kill’ policy for drug dealers, especially for foreigners, because the country is officially in a ‘narcotics emergency position’. I do tend to feel that there should be an ‘ongoing’ and an ‘at this moment in time’ somewhere in that tortured example of crap management-speak!

We’re not all mugs

Nice to see Chris Froome annoying the French by winning their national bike race again. If he can manage a legitimate Armstrong on them, they should really bend them out of shape.

As I say, not do

President MacRon claims he’s big on value for money and cuts, but that clearly doesn’t extend to saving his nation €2.7 million by cutting a couple of inches off his official portrait photos so that they fit existing frames. Or even not bothering with the photos in the first place to save even more money at the expense of a little presidential vanity.

“Not a problem, M’sieu!”

There is a lion wandering around in the countryside to the west of Paris. The police say that they accept the reports of the beast as credible but they have no plans to take any action.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

Get off your fat cans!

Inactivity and over-consumption of processed foods are being blamed for an obesity crisis in Scotland. According to today’s Sunday Post, ambulances designed to carry people weighing up to 70 stone are proving inadequate for some NHS customers, who need the fire brigade to move them.
    Clearly, the Scottish government is not helping by allowing people to lounge around instead of having to get active by working for a living. And as for their claims of Tory austerity, there can’t be a shortage of cash if people have enough money to gorge themselves on cakes and biscuits and ready meals.
    Maybe a little real austerity would rekindle an enthusiasm for going out shopping to buy real food and getting a bit more exercise in the kitchen from preparing and cooking it.

Could do better

If Vince Cable is going to make promises he knows his ass can’t cash, why is he being such a cheapskate? Why hasn’t he gone the full Corbyn and promised to do something like abolishing income tax and giving everyone a free fortnight at his villa in Greece? Why is he not thinking big; is it due to some deep-seated personality defect? After all, he’s never going to be prime minister but there are people with voting privileges who take his daft ideas seriously and will vote for him because they want to pretend that the impossible can happen.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

No hope!

It has been pointed out that even if French jobsworths had the wit to snip a couple of inches off Hamish MacRon’s official portrait, the cash not blown on new picture frames would definitely not be spent wisely. It would just be wasted on even more free lunches for burrocrats.

Tell ’em anything!

Vince Cable is running for leadership of the Liberals (with no opposition) on an ‘Exit from Brexit’ ticket. Okay, he’ll never be able to deliver it, and there are no EU treaty provisions which allow invoking Article 50 Lisbon to be cancelled or revoked, but we are talking about the La-La Land Liberals. And his platform does tell everyone how out of touch with reality he is.

More Labour haters

Having expended their monthly quota of bile on the Tories, Labour’s wimmin are now waging a hate campaign against Boots, the chemist, which has refused to halve the retail price of the morning-after pill, which includes a medication and health check with a pharmacist.

No doubt about the meaning!

I was surprised not to find the word Zugswanged in my copy of Langenscheidt’s Standard German Dictionary, which is over 1,200 pages long and pretty comprehensive. But it’s one of those words whose meaning is perfectly obvious. Officially, it is a chess term for a position in which a player is stuck in a cramped, defensive position and has to make a move, knowing that every option is a bad one.
    No doubt the player in question is left with a feeling which corresponds pretty well to my personal interpretation of the word: ‘wanged by a Zug’ or clobbered by a train!

Friday, 21 July 2017

The height of vanity

Town halls in France will have to waste €2.7 million on 36,000 new picture frames because the official photographic portrait of M. MacRon, the new president of the republic, is 2" taller than the nation’s standard official presidential portrait frame.

Quango is as qango does

It has been pointed out to me that the Advertising Standards Authority is funded by the industry and therefore it isn’t a quango. Which only goes to show that some people don’t understand the QaNGO acronym.
Quasi – horrible in appearance (c.f. Quasimodo)
Non-Governmental – self-explanatory if it’s run by the advertising industry
Organization – also self-explanatory
    Accordingly, it is evident that the ASA is, by definition and its actions, a quango. QED and I rest my case. I would add that the ASA is supposed to ensure that advertising is legal, decent, truthful and honest. There is nothing in its brief about applying left-wing political agendas and political correctness to the industry’s products. That is the province of quangos.

Increase or catch-up?

The news that reported crime went up by 10% in the year to March 2017 is a source of bafflement rather than alarm. After all, there is no point in panicking until we know whether the rise was due to increased productivity by the nation’s criminals or the police actually taking the trouble to record crimes instead of ignoring them; for which they have a proven track record.

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Simple upgrade

People are making much of the obvious lies spouted by the Labour party over student fees to buy votes. Which has to be a case for raising the voting age to a level at which people know that a politician with his/her mouth open is lying.

Suggested EU separation terms

1. The EU will pay the UK £263,000 million pounds to buy out Britain’s share in the EU’s assets.
2. No border between the UK and Ireland, and no Irish citizens to be allowed to enter the UK.
3. Everyone living in Britain will be subject to British law enforced in British courts and foreign courts will have no jurisdiction.

Government embarrasses BBC Big Time

Despite Brexit, the Corbyn Broadcasting Corporation has been obliged to publish details of how much staff paid more than the prime minister (£150K) are collecting. 150 grand for reading a bit of news on TV is ludicrous but 300 grand for getting up a half-past stupid o’clock to do knocking jobs on Tory politicians on Radio 4 is unbelievable. As is the cash the Beeb pays its big nobs.
    If the embarrassment inflicted is pay-back for a consistent anti-Conservative party line at the Beeb, the nation waits in eager anticipation for the next slice. Because the Beeb has a whole lot more suffering to undergo before its hubris account ceases to be phenomenally overdrawn.

Masochism Money

Shock, horror! The nation pays Gary Lineker 2 million quid/year to be annoying via the TV licence. Was he any less of a waste of space when he was playing football? Or can no one remember that far back?

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

The nanny no one needs

In a decent and sensible society, the Advertising Standards Authority quango would be abolished forthwith. It is clearly a waste of public money – its silly obsession with ‘sexist’ TV ads proves this. And the staff would be put on a register of offenders to prevent them from polluting other areas of the public sector via a sideways move.

Endemic fraud, live with it

Predictably, the Labour party doesn’t want to prevent election fraud by students as the perceived beneficiary. Worse, even if the election fraudsters are reported to the police, there is no guarantee that the police farce concerned will be bothered about doing anything.

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

How to win elections in the 21st century

Encourage students to register to vote where their parents live and where they study. Offer them something quite undeliverable (straight face essential) with anti-social meeja campaigns and encourage them to vote twice to get it (even if this is illegal).
    Once elected, be astonished to find out that the promise was undeliverable and bin it to prove how responsible you are. Ignore the howls of protest, knowing there will be another bunch of sucker students along when the next election comes round.

Monday, 17 July 2017

No change

Cuba’s current Castro is upset because President Trump has rolled back some of President O’Bummer’s efforts to cosy up to him. But as Trump is not known to be an admirer of repressive communist regimes, what does he expect?

Fair’s fair

If it would be reasonable to have a second referendum on Brexit because some people might have changed their minds, it would be equally reasonable to rerun the last general election to find out if the young people who voted Labour on the promise of having university fees cancelled have changed their minds now that Mr. Corbyn’s promise has been reduced to just a vague ambition.

Benefactors & butchers; more about butterflies

The real point about the item on butterflies a couple of days ago is that we have the global warming fraudsters posing as the saviours of mankind and also conservationists, who feel entitled to bomb the fraudsters into submission because they want to make the world colder and kill off British butterflies.
    Which just confirms that for every saviour, there is an equal and opposite saviour with a diametrically opposed agenda, and fringe fascists who feel entitled to inflict as much mayhem as they can if everyone else fails to knuckle under.

The way forward

The PM is being invited to sack ministers who show disloyalty by briefing against colleagues or leaking to embarrass them**. Doing so could have the bonus of increasing her personal popularity. J. Corbyn has promoted to his shadow cabinet and then sacked most of the current Labour MPs and, according to the theGrauniad/CBC Axis, he is the most popular politician of all time.

** excluding leaks/briefings against the Chancellor

Sunday, 16 July 2017

Old solution but effective

My initial reaction to websites wanting to know my age was to avoid getting involved. But then I remembered the good old Millennium Bug, which wasn’t actually a bug, just a method of keeping track of time which was never expected to be used beyond 1999. The problems occurred when the date in DD/MM/YY format rolled over from 31/12/99 to the year 00 and the software assumed the next value was 01/01/80, as 1980 is the year IBM created the first reasonable PC.
    Aha! I thought. Why not give websites which don’t need to know my real D.o.B., and websites which I couldn’t trust not to abuse or lose the data, a credible alternative? 02/01/1980 looks a little more credible (to me) than 01/01/1980, and it seems to work. Even better, it puts me firmly out of the territory occupied by Millennial snowflakes.

Great stuff!

That’s just what we want for the British Grand Prix: the tax-exile Lewis Hamilton finishing first and the Forces of Evil German driver Vettel getting some long overdue problems.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

All change

One minute, we’re being told that Britain is getting warmer and gardeners are going to have to do a complete rethink about what they grow. The next, we’re being told that butterfly species are dying out because it’s too cold. Good job George Orwell came up with the concept of doublethink. We’d be lost without it.

They just don’t want to learn

Banks were lending money to people with no hope of repaying it (helped by the criminally reckless policies of the US government) before the Broon Crunch in 2008. Banks are lending money to people who won’t be able to repay if they get into a bit of financial trouble, or the rates go up, right now. And they’re still amazed that their debtors keep on defaulting.
    This is the lesson from history: it’s irrelevant because everyone expects things to work out differently every time an old crisis comes around again.

Chancellor triggers national debate

Who was more upset by the Chancellor saying a modern train is so easy to drive that even a woman can do it? The women train drivers, who want everyone to think they’re a really BIG deal? Or male train drivers, whose mates are laughing at them and saying they’re doing a girly job?

Friday, 14 July 2017

Not much sign of intelligent life in the trade unions

Why are Durham ex-miners so keen to cosy up to J. Corbyn? He’s fallen for the global warming fraud and he’s never going to let them start digging coal again; in fact, as he’s never going to be prime minister, he’s never going to be in a position to let them shove their hands back in to the taxpayer’s pocket.
    The only way the ex-miners would be able to go back to their former jobs would be to emigrate to India or China. But probably not to the eastern United States, where the locals wouldn’t take kindly to foreigners trying to steal the mining jobs promised to them by President Trump.

A welcome sign of progress

A chunk of ice ‘the size of Belgium’ was spotted in the act of breaking away from an ice shelf on the coast of Antarctica this month. Wonder of wonders, the fraudsters have not been allowed to blame it on man-made global warming; not even the ones at the BBC!!; as there is abundant evidence that ice does flow from accumulations on mountains down to the sea and big bits of glaciers do break off from time to time.
    Of course, there have been rumblings about the berg raising sea levels when it melts, but just how much difference is one large iceberg going to make when distributed throughout the 71% of the planet which is covered by oceans?


London Underground is to stop calling its customers ladies and gentlemen as a favour to the Algebra Community (that untidy mess of letters), who don’t always know which sex they are on any given day. The Tube’s alternative misses a splendid opportunity to salute that archetypal Londoner Sidney Balmoral James, Mr. ’Ancock’s sidekick, by getting the staff to call everyone ‘Mush’ without fear or favour or discrimination.

Brexit will kill all cancer patients – Official!!

The Royal College of Radiologists should lose its ‘Royal’ after concocting a pathetic lie to the effect that leaving Euratom will put 10,000 cancer patients ‘at risk’ by depriving them of medical isotopes. Which could be imported from the United States with no problems if the Europeons won’t sell to us.

Thursday, 13 July 2017

Really crazy and mixed-up

If someone who was born a girl decides she would rather be a man and has hormone treatment and surgery to look like a man, that’s her choice. But the taxpayer should not be saddled with the bill. What if someone who has become an artificial man has a baby, though? If only to get in the record books. That has to be a sign of severe mental confusion as men do not bear babies, lacking the equipment for it.

Sorry I bothered!

I couldn’t for the life of me think what the uncensored version of bell**d could be, and I’m normally quite good at working out crossword clues. And when I’d taken the trouble to find out, I was not that impressed, I have to admit.

Education, schmeducation!

The scene: The Natural History museum’s main entrance hall at the unveiling of its blue whale skeleton to an audience of Millennials, which includes two bright young things called Jeremy and Diane.
    Commentary: “ . . . the head of the whale weighs more than a ton . . .”
    Jeremy: “Wow! Impressive!”
    Diane: “How much does a ton weight, Jeremy?”

More inconvenient facts

According to the World Bank, wealth in Britain is shared more evenly than in most of the rest of the West. Does this mean that the Labour gloomsters who have been telling us that we live in the world’s most divided society were lying to us? Surely not!

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

Unreasonable conduct

Her own party is getting on the case of Labour’s business mouthpiece because she won’t use Uber taxis. But since when has unreasonable prejudice or personal preference been a sin for even Labour MPs?

Numbers Game

The looney left would like us to believe that five or six hundred people were in Grenfell Tower on the night of the fire. Why? Because if around 250 people got out of the building, according to police figures, that gives the lunatics a fantasy death toll of 250-350 as an excuse for a riot.

Pernicious leftyism

Judges are not social workers. It's not their function to hold hands and say, 'Diddums'. Their job is to examine evidence, gather facts and apply the law, and taking notice of mobs of agitators, or tweets from uninformed politicians, plays no part in that job. Not that you can tell any of this to the Labour party and their agitators, who want to see a Tory conspiracy around every corner.

Sorry, no magic

Talking about the continued 1% cap on pay rises for teachers, one of their unions declared: “Everyone except the government appears to accept that there is a crisis in teacher supply”, which underlines the fact that: “No one but the government appears to accept that there is a crisis in money supply”.

We wreck, you pay

I notice that people are still going on about the deal between Mrs. May and the DUP for their support. The facts of the matter are that the people of Ulster have wrecked their own home with their mindless mob violence, and they're now demanding, as members of the Union, that English taxpayers pay to put it back in good order. Not exactly fair by any set of standards, but that’s politics for you.

Liberal Tripe

Vince Cable, the Liberal party’s leader-in-waiting and resident Old Father Time, has announced that his party will offer a second referendum on Brexit. How? He’s never going to be prime minister of a Liberal government. So, just hot air, then?

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

Not even shifting the goalposts

Gordon Brown wishes it to be known that he, personally, did not try to do a deal with the DUP in 2010 after the electorate rejected him. Which means the negotiations were done by his staff instead of the glowering Broon in the interests of not starting a punch-up; which amounts to the same thing in the end.

The new credo of the oldies

In the new era of Corbyn Policial Reality, let us pile more debt on to the Buttercups if they want to slay the imaginary dragon of austerity. Let us give a 10% rise to everyone in the public sector and pensioners, double the Winter Fuel Allowance, and put an end to VAT, National Insurance and means-testing. And let us endeavour to spend up and be dead and gone, or out of the country, before the Buttercups get the bill and come looking for a bail-out.

Evil is as evil does

“We have to make a clear distinction between peaceful protest . . . and blind fury,” Kanzler Merkel said in response to the antics of her own looney left near the G20 meeting in Hamburg. “It appears there are some who have no interest in real progress, they just want to destroy.”
    Which matches our experience here in Britain, where Corbynistas are behaving as if they were living in Venezuela or some other socialist paradise.

The crime of being a Tory

The murder of Labour MP Jo Cox seems to have opened the floodgates on the looney left side of the political spectrum. The stories of death threats, destruction of posters and actual physical assaults coming from Conservative candidates in the last election makes a complete mockery of J. Corbyn’s claims that he is bringing us kinder, gentler politics. And will continue to do so as long as his version of Hitler’s S.A. feels untouchable.
    But maybe he's just reserving the kindness and gentility for his friends in the IRA and other terrorist groups.

Same thing only different

Young things born in the late 1980s and early 1990s are objecting to being called Millennials; mainly because a lot of them are unable to grasp the concept of a millennium, according to surveys. So is it back to Buttercups? As in “suck it up, Buttercup”? Or would they rather be Snowflakes?

Monday, 10 July 2017

One step sideways

France plans to ban new models of petrol and diesel cars ‘by 2040', but not continuing production of existing models. The increased weight of the electric motors and batteries will add 500 kg to the average vehicle. Having to shift all that extra weight will increase the power consumption. And there’s the footprint of all the extra manufacturing to consider.
    All in all, the move is expected to negate, or even reverse, any carbon dioxide savings. But we do live in an age of gestures rather than good sense.

What a difference a little evidence makes

New CCTV of the crash involving tennis star V. Williams shows that she did nothing illegal before a traffic accident, in which an elderly couple drove into her vehicle head-on and suffered fatal injuries. But she has money and the family of the deceased couple is demanding cash already.

Simple solution

We keep hearing that Tory plotters against the PM are putting the country at risk of falling into the clutches of the Corbynista zombies. Maybe it’s time to take a leaf out of the current Labour party operations manual and let the traitors in the Tory ranks know that de-selection looms if they don’t stop larking about.

Business as usual

In a sensible world, there would be something comical about Saudi Arabia, a major sponsor of global Islamic terrorism, blockading Qatar for the same offence. But in the present state of the world, the gesture fails to rise above pathetic hypocrisy.

No mugs here

President Vladimir Putin wishes it to be known that his KBG agents were extremely careful and there is no evidence of Russian interference in the last US presidential election because Putin’s agents did a wonderful job of covering their tracks.

Picassoist eye of the beholder

We are told that Baroness Thatcher cannot have a statue to her set up in a public place. The looney left will vandalize it because she's ‘controversial’. But Nelson Mandela can have any number of statues because he isn’t.
    Well, yes, there’s no controversy over the fact that he was a communist terrorist who spent three decades in gaol. He was and he did. But then, Baroness Thatcher managed to become the leader of her country without breaking the law. Which, it would seem, is a cardinal sin in the eyes of the looney left.

They call it Socialist Logic

The loco left are being encouraged to believe that some people have more than them not because they are lazy, ignorant and useless (which they are), but because the others stole from the locos. Which gives the locos the right to steal from their imagined oppressors. All of which ignores the rather inconvenient fact that the grabbing Corbynites never had anything to steal in the first place.

Sunday, 9 July 2017

Reality bites again

The Corbyn Labour party promised to write off student debts and end university tuition fees during the general election campaign. A couple or three months later, someone has taken the trouble to work out how much the policy would cost; presumably, on the back of the traditional fag packet. The policy has been found to be unaffordable and has now been demoted to an aspiration.
    Although Uncle Jezzer would have us believe that he hates everything that Tony B. Liar stands for, how very New Labour that shift was.

Everyone loves Aunt Sally

If you do sleight of hand, the thing is to prevent the sucker from seeing what you’re doing. This crap about climate change deniers being humanity’s greatest enemy has all the dishonesty of the Sky mobile ad with the sugar cubes. Starting with the label.
    Humanity has as much to fear from climate change deniers as from other mythical beings like vampires, werewolves and zombies.
    The climate changes; that’s a given and there’s abundant evidence of how it has changed in the past. The climate might change to advantage or disadvantage a particular group of species but the change itself is neither good nor bad. It just is.
    If you’re looking for bad, consider the source of the derogatory label: global warming fraudsters and the mugs who bought their scam. The people who pretend that they can predict what the climate will be doing in the next decade or even the next century, and who claim that they can steer climate change in a beneficial direction. Only, to whose benefit and how much consultation went on is never disclosed.
    Naturally, the climate steering can happen only if the fraudsters are awarded lots of other people’s money. Because that is all that it is about. As for any scam, the money is everything and the heart and soul of the racket.
    In pursuit of the racket, the fraudsters set up an Aunt Sally (the climate change denier label), told us they’d routed their imaginary enemy and expected the rest of us to be stupid enough to be impressed. Maybe, in time, they’ll learn that not everyone is an idiot. But only after they’ve taken a hell of a lot of money off idiots and those at the mercy of idiots in government.
    Let us not forget that global warming fraud costs lives: 80 and counting at Grenfell Tower.

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Weird way of acting in self-interest

You have to wonder what’s going on in Angela Merkel’s head. On the one hand, she’s playing the tough guy with Britain, but on the other, she needs Britain to stay as much inside the EU as possible, given that we’re about the only other country putting money in and our departure will leave the Germans having to pay in even more. So why isn’t she being nicer to us?

Yob rule

The retired judge who is doing the Grenfell Tower fire inquiry has been warned that he will have to get used to being yelled at. Seeking information in a calm and collected manner is off the table  when the scum rises to the surface and the usual suspects apply their rules: namely that the person making the most noise, no matter how incoherent, wins the argument.

One-way street

We are told that some Grenfell Tower residents are questioning the competence of the ex-judge appointed to hold the inquiry. Not a word about their competence to make personnel decisions at this level, however.

Friday, 7 July 2017

Cable a student of Nazi tactics?

The saintly Vince Cable has accused the prime minister of using a phrase which could have been taken from Mein Kampf. Which is the sort of political smear tactic employed by the noted Nazi Minister for Propaganda and Popular Enlightenment Dr. Joseph Goebbels.
    Has Vince no shame, using Nazi tactics to accuse someone of being a Nazi? Evidently not.

Trap shut, mate

A good way to lose public sympathy is for an obviously foreign-looking bloke with an obviously foreign name, who was a Grenfell Tower resident, to tell the world he’s not going to accept rehousing in a 2-bedroom flat because he’s ‘entitled’ to 3 bedrooms.
    What would be really nice would be to hear him explain exactly what he’s contributed to the British nation to earn his ‘entitlement’.

Usual suspects at it again

Not much sign of austerity in Hamburg if thousands of masked rioters feel they can afford to take a day off work (assuming they do any) to go and beat up German cops at the G20 freebie. Possibly because they’re hoping to get in a spot of arson and looting after dark to make the trip worthwhile.

Dunce’s corner

Falls over in amazement! I thought the Daily Mail would be deluged with emails pointing out that Richard III wasn't the Lionheart (that was Richard I) as its pair of obvious anagrams, Etam Smallman and Adam Jacot de Boinod assured us in the “On This Day” feature yesterday (Thursday).
    Not a word in Friday’s paper, though. So much for Education, Education, Education.

Nasty is as nasty does

Plans to put a statue of Baroness Thatcher in Parliament Square have been buffered. One of the stop reasons on offer is that it would be a target for vandalism. This would seem to be highly credible, given the endemic sheer nastiness of the looney left mob and their well-known exhibitionist tendencies. Sad but true, the lunatic fringe has been allowed to overflow uncensured under the Corbyn leadership.

Thursday, 6 July 2017

That’s more like it

Labour is claiming to be a government in waiting, but if you listen to them, it becomes clear that all they’re in waiting to do is burgle the national piggy bank again.

Badly Confected Balderdash

Jez Corbyn would like us to believe that the Tories have presided over a lost decade. A more accurate description would be a decade spent trying to put the toothpaste back into the tube after Gordon ’Effin Broon (Labour) squeezed it out.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Pull the other one!

Shock of the first week of the month: learning that Labour has a shadow fire minister, who is presumably on a fancy salary top-up. Are we really expected to believe that the government has a Secretary of State for Arson Affairs, which Labour feels obliged to shadow?

Reality is SO inconvenient

The Office of Manpower Economics (nope, I’d never heard of it before either) reckons that real pay in the public sector fell by 3.1% between 2005 and 2015. The fall in the wealth-creating private sector was 6.1% and, thanks to Gordon Brown’s tax and waste, pensions are few and far between in the private sector, unlike the public sector. Which means that increasing taxes on the wealth-creators to benefit the public sector just increases unfairness. Not a concept which troubles the Labour party and the public-sector trade unions, though.

Better late than never, but not that much better

Surprise! Dave the ex-Leader has found a bit of fiscal sense at long last. Pity he never had any when he was prime minister. The New, Improved Dave has realized that the shroud-waving luvvies, who want to splash around enormous amounts of other people’s cash to buy themselves friends, aren’t caring and compassionate. They’re just greedy, selfish and on the make.

A once-only occasion?

How come it has taken Juncker the Clunker so long to realize that moving the European Parliament to Strasbourg for a few days each month is plain stoopid? Maybe Malta Day was the first time he has ever visited Strasbourg able to focus his eyes to see what was going on and with a couple of brain cells functioning to be able to process the data, given his reputation for chugging the free booze like there’s no tomorrow.

Tuesday, 4 July 2017

What do they do all day?

How good is the Metropolitan police farce at conducting investigations? In June 2016, a PC was placed on restricted duties after another PC accused him of stealing biscuits from an open box on the victim’s desk. The case was referred to the Met’s Directorate of Professional Standards, the rubber-heeled anti-corruption mob. Over one year later, this gang of heroes still hasn’t finished its ‘investigation’. No wonder seriously bent coppers are never brought to book.

Monday, 3 July 2017

Making room for migrants

There seems to be a new form of population control at work in Britain. The trendy and the plain daft are being poisoned and taken off the national books by indulging in the fad for what they think are edible flowers, which actually contain lethal poisons.

You’re not even trying, Vince!

Vintage Vince Cable has opened his campaign to be the next leader of the Liberals with a rather pathetic piece of fake news. His claim that Brexit has cause a shortage of strawberries with Bloody Wimbledon here again was met by universal derision from people who have seen their local shops and supermarkets bulging with red fruit.

Dodgy is as dodgy does

We’re hearing a lot about car salespersons giving loans to people without a job, who are likely to run into financial trouble and end up with a massive, sub-prime-mortgage style debt, especially if interest rates go up. If they are heading for the state which the Labour party is keen to inflict on the country, it looks like there’s an alternative career ready and waiting in the motor industry for J. Corbyn and his team of financial geniuses when they are eventually sacked.

Telling it like it isn’t

“Austerity Kills” squawked the banners at the million moron march at the weekend just gone, ignoring a couple of small facts. No. 1: how would the morons know because we haven’t had any austerity if Britain’s public debt grew from 76% of GNP in 2010 to 89% in 2016.
    No. 2: it never touches the people who made it necessary, like Wee Gordon Broon, his mates in the banking industry and the rest of the fiscal looneys.
    It’s all very well, being weary of (non-existent) austerity, but if you’re still spending more than your income, there’s no responsible alternative. And no, Jeremy Corbyn’s Magic Money Beanstalk isn’t a responsible alternative.

Reality bites

Someone has to do the grown-up government and the lesson from history is that it’s always the Conservatives who get stuck with this task because Labour’s Gordon Brown of the Month is forever trying to climb a Magic Money Beanstalk to get to the pie in the sky.
    Unfortunately, all that anybody ever learns from history is that nobody remembers the blunders of the past when faced with a repetition of the circumstances which produced them.

Sunday, 2 July 2017

One-way street

Are women serious about gender equality? Not if the harpies got on the case of an MSP, who asked Wee Burney Sturgeon what she’s doing for men who end up on the wrong end of a gender pay gap.

Trust the bloody public to be serious!

The Queensferry Crossing, the latest addition to the bridges over the River Forth in Scotland, has had a McBoatface moment. The general public were invited to name the new bridge, and the most popular choice was ‘Kevin’. The Scottish Gnatish government, which has ‘invested’ over £1 billion of English taxpayers’ money in the structure, was not impressed.

Saturday, 1 July 2017

Where’s the magic when you need it?

We have a global debt crisis, according to the Institute of International Finance in Washington, D.C. Planet Earth has a combined debt of £168,000 billion. But who do we owe it to? Martians? And are they able to invade us to collect the dough? We might have a bit of a problem fighting them off if Uncle Jezzer gets to abolish our nukes.

The march of time

Sadly, the head of the US Federal Reserve has been overtaken by senility at the young age of 70. J. Yellen would have us believe that there won’t be another financial crash like the 2008 Brown Hole ‘in our lifetimes’.
    Of course, she might have been addressing an audience of centenarians, or she might have some soon-to-be-lethal condition herself, but that isn’t likely.

Mission impossible

“A lie told often enough becomes the truth” is accepted political wisdom. But how long will it take the Labour party to tell us that it is a government in waiting 100 billion times? Which is what it will take, at the very least.

All change

Remote viewing by a panel of psychics has revealed that the earthly shell known as Jeremy Corbyn has been taken over by the essence of the Georgian mega-mass-murderer Josef Stalin. In view of the advances in extermination techniques since the 1950s, the Ministry of Defence is predicting that he will be able to depopulate the British Isles of all inconvenient others in weeks rather than months if he ever becomes prime minister, thus creating abundant space for an influx of migrants, who will give him an appropriate degree of adoration and votes.

No, you’re not special

A woman is complaining about being done for a rent payment on a Grenfell Tower flat, which was destroyed by the fire. Honestly! The quality of the complaints you get these days. It’s council bureaucracy. It’s rubbish. It’s the same everywhere. Always has been, always will be. And if this woman knew anything about life in Britain, she would know she wasn’t singled out for persecution, she’s just getting routine council treatment.