Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Enjoying being on the way out?

David Cameron, the departing Tory party leader and prime minister, fired a sneaky parting shot just before J. Corbyn’s MPs voted to have no confidence in him. Dave told the other 27 EU leaders that there will be no trade deal with Britain without migration controls; which should fix the wagon of any successor who was planning to go soft on the issue.

Quids in

The good times are rolling for Prince Charles. He’s now a billionaire as proprietor of the Duchy of Cornwall and its multiple investments. Nice to see that a member of The Royals can make a bit of loot.

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

About Face

The Labour Remainers, who are agitating for another referendum to give the idiot electorate a chance to get it right, are putting themselves into an interesting position. Part of their strategy is to agitate for a general election next year. But given that most Labour MPs don’t represent the views of the party members, there could be a lot of deselection and replacement, and we could just end up with a Corbyn-led Labour party, which is as anti-EU as its leader.

Positives from the European Cup

1. England needed to score early and score often; they managed the first part.
2. The manager won’t have to agonize over whether to sack the goalie, Joe Hart, if he’s gone.
3. If the team are playing like Muppets, it’s better for them to go out early to minimize the disappointment. Imagine what it would have been like if they’d scraped through to the final!

Not much of a message

“The writing on the wall is about eight metres high,” Captain Underpants said about J. Corbyn, the Labour leader they love to hate. But if you’re standing next to the wall, you can’t read letter which are 26 feet tall and you’re not going to get the message.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Europeon democracy in action

The usual suspects; Tony B. Liar et al; are now demanding another referendum on EU membership because that’s the Europeon way. If the trough-scoffers don’t like the result of a vote, they either ignore it or they make the idiots vote again until they get it right.

Sunday, 26 June 2016

Brexit notes #2

“If Polly Toynbee is upset, the nation has clearly done the right thing.”
    “Jeremy Corbyn’s evident lack of conviction when campaigning for Remain gave Labour voters a licence to vote the way they wanted. Labour’s usual suspects complained that Corbyn failed to connect with the voters, but the outcome says he did exactly that and they chose to vote Brexit, which is what he has been advising since the 1970s.”
    “Falls in the stock market weren't due to Brexit; Establishment hysteria caused them.”
    “Before the vote, the CBI was claiming that Brexit would cost £100 BILLION and ONE MILLION lost jobs. But all that has gone away now.”
    “David Cameron thinks his finest achievement is letting homosexuals pretend to be married; and that’ the best explanation we can offer for why he failed. That and his total lack of political vision and convictions, and his belief that people should do what he tells them because he’s . . . well, Dave.”

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Blame game

Politicians in mainland European countries are lining up to blame David Cameron for the Brexit vote. Why? What’s the point of it? Or don’t foreigners get that it’s not sporting to kick a man when he’s down; and departing Dave is definitely down (and on the way out) at the moment.
    And why pick on Dave? The Brexit vote was a rejection of all the scumbags who are blaming him. The characters who failed to put a stop to corruption in the EU, who turned the EU management into a refuge/trough for sleazy cronies and failed politicians, like Mr. Juncker.
    Maybe someone should mention that sabre-rattling won’t go down well here, and that shaking too hard might just bring their whole rotten edifice crashing down about their fatcat ears.

Scexit makes sense?

The BBC seems to be giving Nicola “Wee Burney” Sturgeon a hell of a lot of air-time. Every time my staff switch on the BBC news channel, there she is, pontificating. And about what? She’s out of her tree over England and Wales daring to vote the nation out of the EU because she felt safe as part of a larger union. And her answer to it all is to vote Scotland out of the United Kingdom.

Friday, 24 June 2016

Didn’t see a copy of today’s Sun but surely the headline had to be Stick it up your J.-C. Juncker. Another good one would be: Not the beginning of the end, just the end of the beginning.

Brexit notes

Ed Miliband was called a tosspot by a “front bencher” during Labour’s internal row over failing to get the party’s core vote to go for Remain. But did it have any impact if the guy doing the name calling was Captain Underpants?

Honk if you missed me!

Having plannned a short break to get away from the end of the referendum lies and general crap, I posted my vote and shot off to Canada to watch the opening of the Canadian Football League season (either last night local time or the early hours of this morning, BST). I awoke to the news that half the voters of Britain are mad. Luckily, the half that voted to boot the EU into touch was slightly larger, and I’m looking forward to coming back to a Britain which has chosen to boot David Cameron into touch as well.

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

More of the same needed?

There seems to be a lot of dismay around over how shallow and fugitive the “political convictions” of our top politicians have turned out to be. Like old Corbyn, a career-long opponent of the EU, who is suddenly pretending (but not doing much of a job of it) that the EU is wonderful.
    And then there’s Cameron, who wasn’t bothered about holding a referendum and leaving the EU a while ago, but who’s pretending that the sky will fall in if we dare to opt for Brexit.
    On the positive side, however, is the case of the Chancellor, G. Osborne, who’s made such an idiot of himself that he’s screwed whatever happens.
    What to make of it? Maybe we should have lots more referendums to keep the British public reminded just how shallow and self-serving their political leaders are behind all the puff and fine words.

Get a grip

There seems to be a lot of rather pathetic whingeing wimpism around at the moment. People are complaining about these awful politicians, who are forcing them to make a decision and expecting them to think for themselves instead of accepting being herded into the pen which makes the greatest profit for their trough-guzzling betters.
    Well, if it’s upsetting you that much, why don’t you just go and hide under the stairs until Friday morning and it’s all over?

Monday, 20 June 2016

The next step?

The Labour party and the Remain camp are trying to blame the murder of MP Jo Cox on an imaginary campaign of hatred against politicians whipped up by the Leave camp and the media. So what should be do to repair the damage? Do we tell our politicians not to be so pathetically and condescendingly obvious when they’re lying to us “for our own good”? Or is it up to the British public and the news media not to be so rude as to notice the lies, and not to imagine that they know better than their betters?

Sunday, 19 June 2016

International Fear

The International Monetary Fund says the eurozone is on the brink of creating another financial disaster for the EU and the British economy is in good health. But Britain should stay in the EU or all the horrible things from David Cameron’s Project Fear will become reality.
    No surprise that IMF boss C. Lagarde, who could end up in gaol if things go pear-shaped at her up-coming trial, has joined in Project Fear as George Osborne’s French poodle and published the IMF’s doom and gloom a month early to get it out before our Brexit referendum. Which makes it obviously the voice of vested interests, not people with Britain’s best interests at heart.

The future awaits

Here’s a TV series I’m about to pitch: what does anyone think of it?
   There are several US crime series involving a Major Crimes Squad. My idea is for a Minor Crimes Squad based in a failing British police area – South Yorkshire, for instance – and the job of the police officers is to make crimes; including murder, arson, blackmail and multi-million-pound robberies; into minor crimes which can be written off as too trivial to investigate and eligible for exclusion from official police statistics.
    Sounds good, eh?

The power of imagination

One of the first pieces of spin about the man who killed the Yorkshire MP Jo Cox was an attempt to link him with modern Nazis. And we were told that he had “Nazi memorabilia”. Which set a writer friend of mine wondering what the police would make of the stuff in is writing room if they raided him on some flimsy pretext.
    He has an Iron Cross from the first world war but hey – it’s an Iron Cross so he’s a Nazi, yeah? And then there are all the notes on terrorist groups and weapons he made for a series of novels set in the 1970s and 1980s. If he were to be raided, would we get hysterical headlines about a major terrorist threat being averted on the basis of his notes?
    Because it does seem that the police are not happy with a crime committed by one man of doubtful mental stability and their first instinct is to chuck in some usual suspects. And if they can get Nazis into their conspiracy then, wow! How good is that?

Saturday, 18 June 2016

Politics of the absurd

A Labour MP is attacked and killed by a crazy constituent. As she was campaigning for Britain to Remain in the EU, lefty luvvies immediately started to blame the Brexit campaign for her death, implying that voting Bremain in the referendum will send a message of defiance to crazy people everywhere. How does this make any sense? And if two Brexit campaigners were killed by crazy people, would the luvvies then invite their allies to switch their vote to Leave? Sure, they would!

Include us out

Switzerland applied to join the EU 20 years ago but did nothing other than negotiate trade agreements. This month, the Swiss government decided to withdraw the application, and offered the official view that only lunatics would want to be part of the present incarnation of the EU.

Euro 2016a

“Come on! Wales?” we were saying a couple of days ago. “If England can’t beat Wales, it’s time to pack up and go home.” But we were muttering it because we didn’t really have that much faith in the England team. And we still don’t, if we’re being honest.

Friday, 17 June 2016

He has form

Campaigning before next week's Brexit referendum has been halted for a day following the murder of Labour MP Jo Cox. Are we doing Dave the Leader and his mandelsons a disservice by suspecting that they are using the pause to cook up a monumental scare story for next week? The evidence says not.

Besieged in a bunker?

George Osborne, with his threat of a punitive emergency budget if the nation dares to vote for Brexit, has put himself into the same position as a terrorist who has announced that he has guns and grenades, and he intends to attack a shopping mall.
    More than enough Conservative MPs to start a leadership contest have told the prime minister that they will not let a budget that makes a nonsense of the last election manifesto pass through Parliament. Thus a vote on Osbo's budget will result in a declaration of no confidence in his government.
    If David Cameron has any political sense, he will have to talk Osbo out of his terror attack. And if that fails, sack him. Will Osbo still have his job at the weekend after the Brexit referendum? It all depends how suicidal Dave is feeling. If he doesn't get his way over Brexit, is he prepared to take this government with him?

Custodians? Really?

Are there any competent police officers around? We've had failed attempts to fit up the innocent for crimes for which there is no evidence, the police ignoring the guilty for decades or on political correctness grounds, bungling police officers killing members of the public, police farces ignoring crimes in order to fiddle their statistics, and using "the savage cuts" as an excuse for sheer lack of will to do the job they are paid to do. It's getting to the stage where we need to start asking if there is any point at all in having coppers, if this is all they can do.

Wednesday, 15 June 2016

Europeon Claptrap

The president of the Europeon Council, D. Tusk, would have us believe that Brexit could trigger the end of "Western political civilization". [If that means anything.] Has he been at the Polish wodka, and was he pissed or was he just extracting the wee-wee?

Blind eye

How curious that the French police were able to bust half a dozen England fans but they were unable to lay a finger on the 150-strong squad of Russian hooligans, who are at Euro 2016 just to cause trouble.

’Bye, George!

Geo. Osborne has lost it. His threat of a revenge budget if the nation dares to vote Brexit next week is just ludicrous. He’d never get it through Parliament and if he doesn’t know that, it’s time to send for the yellow van and the men in white coats, and cart him off to the looney bin.

Tuesday, 14 June 2016

One bunch of swindlers learning from another

The most educated guesses suggest that Brexit will have little impact on the British economy, which makes all the doom and gloom pouring out of G. Osborne’s Treasury just EU propaganda rather than anything to take notice of.
    Things are so bad that an academic has felt obliged to out the Treasury’s use of an economic model similar to the one created by the “Hockey Team” gang of GW swindlers – that’s the gang which produced a graph at the end of the 20th century showing global temperatures soaring exponentially upwards in the 21st century. Their model was outed as something which would have predicted the same result with absolutely any set of data.
    Professor David Blake of the Cass Business School has found that the Treasury's economic model can be used to 'prove' that Britain would plunge into disaster outside the EU but the country would benefit from joining the throughly discredited euro currency system, and that every country in the world would benefit from joining the EU.

Monday, 13 June 2016

More perspective

One of the staff at the Mansion has just pointed out that the opinion of one of the government’s “experts”, plus two 50p coins, will buy out a 4-pack of Mars bars at our local £ shop.

Keeping things in persepective

Lest we forget, the politicians pontificating about how wonderful the EU is spent a quarter of a BILLION pounds of British taxpayers’ cash on an airport for St Helena. An airport which cannot be used by commercial airlines most of the time because of wind-shear at a 1,000-foot cliff right next to it. Something which was reported by Charles Darwin back in 1839, nearly 200 years ago, so there was no excuse for not knowing about it.  Are we really going to take people like that seriously?

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Them Russians

Things were going so well in Marseille, and England were actually looking quite threatening at times, but them Russkies did have to knock in an equalizer in time added on and do England out of a first win in living memory(?) in an international competition. Bummer.

There’s a word for that

Enoskothanatosis (Greek pronunciation) sounds just right to describe all those nuisances with an unreasonable belief that their natural superiority and qualifications to be Boss of the Universe will be immediately obvious to everyone they encounter.

Saturday, 11 June 2016

Moveable feast?

If the dozy sods, who left registering to vote in the EU referendum until the last minute and crashed the website, turn up at their polling station in a gang at one second before 10 p.m., will they find it kept open for an extra hour to accommodate anyone who couldn’t be bothered to turn up between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m.?
    And if the exit polls suggest that Brexit is ahead, will the government keep the polling stations open until they get a Bremain result?
    Actually, the latter situation need not apply as the referendum result isn’t legally binding on Parliament and there’s a majority in both Houses against Brexit. So if the government’s official fraudsters can’t engineer a Bremain vote, it don’t really matter.

The sleaze machine is still going at full blast

Back in March, the ousted head of the British Chambers of Commerce, John Longworth, predicted that David Cameron would reward his Bremain cronies with a shower of gongs in the Queen’s birthday honours list. And he wasn’t wrong. Tony B. Liar’s heir in action.

Friday, 10 June 2016

It’s just pathetic, Dave

“Mr. Farage, or ‘Farridge’ as I like to call him,” quips Dave the Leader. Are we amused? Or do we just think, actually, that’s the sort of childish rudeness you’d expect from a jumped-up oik rather than a prime minister. Do the rest of us go round saying things like, “Dave, or Daft as we like to call him . . .”? Of course, we don’t. We much too well brought up.

Silence is the tactic

“Don’t mention the war,” was Basil Fawlty’s credo for a while. “Don’t mention the migration,” is what Labour’s current figurehead, J. Corbyn, would like Labourites campaigning for Bremain to do. And so this major issue has been left out of the Labour’s EU referendum leaflet, which will be posted to households throughout the country, and which will whizz from letterbox to doormat to blue recycling bin in no-time flat.

Thursday, 9 June 2016

Pathetic decline

How sad that former prime minister John Major has become just shouty and pathetic when he makes a “contribution” to the EU Brexit saga. [Although there is a distinct resemblance to our current PM there.] But when you don’t have any sound arguments on your side, personal abuse against those you disagree with is always an alternative. But not something we expect from someone reputed to have been gentlemanly enough to take the tap end of the bath after cheating on his wife with Edwina Curry.

Wednesday, 8 June 2016

An interesting distinction

David Cameron has accused the Brexit campaign of telling “irresponsible” lies. Which sounds like an invitation to the rest of us to believe that he tells only “responsible” lies; stuff which he knows is untrue but he’d like us to believe it so we do the right thing and vote Bremain.
    Taking a lead from the TV adverts for bookies, which contain a small voice gabbling, “Please bet responsibly!”, we’re now expecting the same voice to add to Dave’s next Bremain rant: “This broadcast contains only responsible lies.”

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Just a thought

When the bad guy sticks a knife into a bag of heroin (or cocaine) so he can taste it before buying it, how come no one ever sticks a strip of tape over the puncture to stop the bag leaking when the briefcase it’s in is jolted around?

Shredding credibility

Dave the Leader is getting increasingly shrill and just plain embarrassing. His claim, 2 weeks before the EU referendum, that Brexit campaigners want to blow up the British economy (why?) is his most ludicrous to date. Along with his claim that he’s just laying out a positive case for the EU (if you ignore Project Fear).

Monday, 6 June 2016

How are the mighty fallen

Muhammad Ali is to have a public memorial service led by . . . Bill Clinton!??!
    So The Greatest is going to be stuck with a deadleg like Slick Willy, a bloke famous only for lying, evasion and larking about with an intern instead of doing presidential things? Is this supposed to be the Universe showing off its sense of humour? Or was John Major, a man with a taste for a curry rather than dodgy cigars, too busy with his Bremain job to do the gig?

If only our money were valued

If the foreign aid budget were subject to Dave the Leader’s pledge to spend every penny effectively, it would fall by at least one-half to under £6 BILLION/year. And we are further obliged to cough up £1.25 BILLION/year to the EU’s aid budget, one-half of which, by the EU's own admission, is “thrown down the toilet”.

The wind don’t blow

Now that the Department for Global Warming Swindles has cut off subsidies to the on-shore wind industry, its trade union has admitted that Britain is not windy enough to make energy from turbines viable. Pity no one worked this out before the windmill racket started ripping off the taxpayer with the aid of Red Ed Miliband and other stooges.

Saturday, 4 June 2016

No point in being “in the room”

German prime monster Angular Merkel does her bit for Project Fear by telling us, “You’ll never get the results you want if you’re not in the room.” But 43 years of being “in the room” have shown that this is not the answer either. Especially since qualified majority voting was sneaked in. So we might as well go for the cheaper option and boot the EU into touch.

Fish are heading for extinction through sheer stupidity

A study by Swedish piscatologists has found that young fish of a number of species prefer plastic scraps to real food. Fishlings living in water containing microplastic; i.e. scraps less than 0.2" across; will gobble them up in preference to plankton, which actually contain nutriments. The change of diet stunts growth, makes the young fish more vulnerable to predators and reduces their breeding rate if they make it to adulthood. Clearly, this is an example of evolution in action and extinction by natural selection.

Friday, 3 June 2016

An unsuspected government asset?

Whilst being handbagged on TV over his scaremongering, evasion and downright lies about the perils of Brexit, Dave the Leader assured his audience that Turkey is unlikely to join the EU until the year 3000. Does that mean we’re expected to believe that Dave has a time machine parked in Downing Street and that’s how he knows this truly amazing fact?

Thursday, 2 June 2016

Reputational Wobble

Gordon F Brown, the man who stole your pension, is getting worried. His claim to be the worst prime minister since Tony B. Liar is under serious threat from Dave “Project Fear” Cameron. In fact, the closer we get to the EU referendum and the more outrageous Dave’s lies get, the more The Broon quakes in his boots and sees himself slide deeper into irrelevance.

Wednesday, 1 June 2016


Presidential hopeful D. Trump will visit Britain on the day after the EU referendum, but to open a new golf course in Scotland rather than to wish David Cameron the best of luck with his next career move. Some 500,000 extremists have petitioned for a ban on letting The Donald into the UK, but they can expect to be ignored.