Tuesday, 31 May 2011

It’s not just here, it’s EVERYWHERE!

Judges here are always proving they don’t get it. But the same seems to be true in Serbia. Ratko Bagitch’s solicitor seems to think it’s a brilliant delaying tactic to put his appeal in the post, but if it’s not before the court, it doesn’t exist and there’s no reason for the Serbs’ legal system to hold up his despatch to The Hague for trial. But, of course, the tactic is working because the judges fell for it.

And another thing; if the guy is too weak and feeble to travel to the Netherlands, why not just dispense with the trial and go straight to the firing squad? It will save a whole HEAP of money.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

If there was ever a day for a cull of judges . . .

. . . it has to be the day after the Court of Appeal let a burglar out of gaol because being there breached his ’uman right to enjoy the company of his family at the expense of the ’uman rights of the people he steals from.

Friday, 27 May 2011

Tit for Twat

So the Serbian government has finally handed over the war criminal Ratko Bagitch after sheltering him for 16 years, and it expects a reward. How about leaving that terrorist nation’s application to sponge on the western part of the European Union in the mailbox for 16 years before even looking at it?

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Whoops! Missed slightly

If Americans didn’t exist, you’d have to invent them. Like the character who worked out, from adding up numbers in the Bible, that the world would end at 6 p.m. last Saturday. And got lots of fellow Americans to waste millions of lovely dollars on donations to his organization. Retired civil engineer Harold Camping did it once before, in 1994, he did it again this month and he’s going to do it again in October because, apparently, he got his sums wrong and the end of the world will start on Trafalgar Day. Or not.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Welcome to the Silly Season

The worst things happening in the world are British judges getting upset because people beyond their jurisdiction are ignoring them, police forces are telling us they have no money then blowing tens of thousands of pounds on tiger hunts with soft toys as the prey, the BBC is still making up stories about Mrs. Thatcher, like she told people to get on their bike and go and look for work when it was Norman Tebbit who said that was what his old dad did (with an implied invitation to go ye and do likewise), and Pres. O’Bama is pretending he’s Irish.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Fate Worse Than Death?

“GP rapped for talking about God with a patient” You see a headline like that and start thinking; “Cruel & Unusual Punishment, or what!” And it leaves me wondering for how long the General Medical Council had the poor sod chained to a wall, being bombarded with rap music.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Too big for their boots

Judges are stereotyped as doddering, old and out of touch with the real world. This view is reinforced by their delusion that they can redact Twitter, which is in San Francisco and not subject to British law, and abolish Parliamentary Privilege to stop MPs and Lords blowing the whistle on super-injunctions, and also abolish reporting what’s said in Parliament.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Attack of the crazy wimmin (and their stooges)

It was like pretending that giving someone a Chinese burn is the same as stabbing someone with a bloody big knife. Yes, they’re both assault but one is “common” and the other is “with a deadly weapon”, and the courts dish out a different (but generally inadequate) sentence for both. So when the Labour party’s mongrels started trying to chew Justice Minister K. Clarke’s Hush Puppies for saying everything labelled rape isn’t the same, the whole concept of justice was devalued by their petty party politics and political correctness. And if anyone needs to make an apology, it’s the Milibandits for being so full of humbug and out of contact with the real world.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

How useless can you get!

I never saw the last 2 episodes of Stargate SG-1, Season 10, because Sky tried to mug Virgin Media about 4 years ago and was told to get lost. So I watched episode 19 on Sky Two on Monday and episode 20 last night. Then the announcer said they were going go right back to the very start of Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Next thing you know, the TV was going “previously on ST: DS9 . . .” and the audience was going, “How the hell can there be a previously for the first ever episode of a brand new series?”

Well, quite easily if those idiots at Sky start off with part 2 of a 2-part pilot.

Which is something to remember next time Sky pretends to offer a quality TV service. But, I suppose, if Sky is going to be crap, it might as well make a proper job of it.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Security scenario

They were commenting on TV on the number of cops and crash barriers on Dublin’s main street for the Queen’s visit, and the lack of people. But given that the Irish Republic contains as many guns and bombs as Chechnya, and terrorists get a fairly universal blind eye, it’s no wonder Her Maj was kept well away from the natives. Especially as the Irish are broke and dependent on the not quite as broke British taxpayer for handouts.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Not even one bean, never mind a hill!

Lib-Dem millionaire & govt. minister C. Huhne is denying he put his points on someone else’s licence to avoid a driving ban. But all the Labour MPs in gaol for expenses fraud, who have probably had early release on some pretext by now, assured us that they had done nothing wrong. So how much is a politician’s word worth these days?

Monday, 16 May 2011

When do I get to use the bloody thing?

The thing I’ve noticed about the new notebook (not laptop because you can’t put it on your lap because that blocks the ventilation holes on the lower surface and sets fire to your lap) is that it’s forever downloading updates. So I’ve found the best thing to do with it is plug it in half an hour before I want to use it, switch it on and leave it to its own devices until it stops messing about.

Sunday, 15 May 2011

Simply Not British

Do we really need some woman warbling the National Anthem at us just before the Cup Final? Do we really need other English football matches played on the holiest of holy days? It’s time to slap some heads at the FA and the Football League, and keep on slapping them until the bozos in charge of English football get some sense knocked into them.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Well, that’s something that doesn’t happen very often!

Fancy that, a rogue regime chickening out of a chance to assert itself with more barbarity. The Iranians have “postponed” the planned blinding of a criminal by dripping conc. sulphuric acid into his eyes. And having seen what the criminal did to the woman whom he showered with acid, one can feel only that he deserved some reciprocity and the Iranians’ chicken-heartedness is to be condemned.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Someone grown a set at last?

The Sentencing Council, strangely, has decided that burglars should go to gaol instead of being left at large in the community to commit more crimes. Even more incredible is the fact that the council is mainly populated by judges, who are notorious for being dotty, old and completely out of touch with real life. Has someone killed all the New Labour judges and replaced them with clones programmed to protect the public? If so, a knighthood is in order!

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Don’t you just hate . . .

. . . free software that doesn’t work? I tried to install the Acrobat Reader version 10 on the new laptop, but when I tried to run the installer, it kept telling me some other program was trying to install, which wasn’t true, and I never did get it to work. What are those useless sods at Adobe doing, wasting my time like this?

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Was it all worth it?

The most noteworthy things to come out of the elections are:
1. Scotland has an AV system which was built to make sure that no single party can ever gain a majority, and yet the Nats beat the system.
2. Northern Ireland has an AV system which takes 10x longer than anywhere else to do the count, presumably costs 10x more to get the job done but fails to deliver representatives who are 10x better than those elected elsewhere.
3. The British public actually saw through the AV con job and didn’t buy it.

Friday, 6 May 2011

Things I nearly bought today (but didn’t)

I almost bought a copy of the latest WordPerfect for the new notebook (not laptop as you can’t use it on your lap without setting fire to yourself).. Then my “Irwin sense” kicked in and I did some price comparison. And found that an American would pay fewer dollars (currently 1.6 to the pound sterling) than I would pay pounds sterling for the same piece of plastic. So I decided to recycle an old copy of WordPerf from a retired computer and raise two phantom fingers to that bunch of rip-off merchants Corel, who think British customers should pay 80% more than their American buyers for the same product. And you can’t dismiss that much of a difference by blaming it on the VAT.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Are we supposed to be psychic, or what?

I’ve just taken delivery of a new laptop and, in the absence of Irwin, the resident expert, I followed the instructions and got it going. It was only when I’d gone through all the set-up procedure and found the instructions for using the laptop on the desktop that I learnt that you’re supposed to charge the battery fully before you use the computer to avoid damaging it. So I went back and re-read all the English sections of the booklets and leaflets in the box, and there’s not a mention of that anywhere. So how are you supposed to know?

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Like as if

So Bin Laden holed up in a fortified camp 30 miles from Islamabad and on the doorstep of Pakistan’s main military college, and the government and its “Intelligence” services suspected nothing? That’s the distance from the centre of London of Aldershot, Chelmsford, Gillingham, Horsham, Luton, Maidstone, Southend on Sea, Stansted or Tunbridge Wells.

I know our security services can be pretty crap at times but can you imagine Mr. Laden getting his modern castle past the jobsworth ’elf ‘n’ nazis of some Home Counties local council’s planners? And surviving assaults by the gang which harasses people who don’t have a TV licence?

Sunday, 1 May 2011

What a load of rubbish Windows 7 is!

I did a reboot of my computer yesterday and found I’d lost my internet connection. Trying to diagnose the problem using the alleged software tools provide was a complete waste of time. So I tried another reboot. But Windows 7 failed to restart and went into a long diagnosis process, which got nowhere. Then it offered me a number of options, including seeking on-line help, which would have been difficult without an internet connection.

So I ignored all this, switched the computer off and restarted it. It booted up okay, and it seemed to be working – apart from no internet connection. Then one of the staff mentioned that the cable TV wasn’t working. Which explained my lack of broadband. But didn’t explain why Windows 7 fell over and started thrashing about aimlessly and helplessly.

When I mentioned it to Irwin, he just pulled a face and muttered something about effing bloatware. So I’ve decided not to bother asking MicroSoft what went wrong as they probably don’t know.