Thursday, 31 March 2011

That Cameron isn’t very good at PMQs

When the wrong Milipede asked him if police front-line services will be cut, yes or no, Cameroony should have said:

“That all depends on the Chief Constables appointed under New Labour. If they cut responsibly, then the answer is no. But if they behave like Manchester, and other Labour councils, and start their cuts at the front line to play politics with their customers, then the answer is yes. And would the Leader of the Opposition like me to remind the House that it was the Labour party which spent all the nation’s money and maxed out the national credit card?”

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Clarification Needed

Harold Wilson, the useless Labour PM of the 1960s, always tried to pretend that he came from humble beginnings and he used to be too poor to have shoes. But Harold Macmillan (?) put him in his place by remarking that the only time H. Wislon was without boots was when he was too big for them.

It has been reported that the prime monster’s director of strategy is prone to chair meetings at 10 Downing Street in his socks. Could it be that Stevie Hilton is also too big for his boots?

Sunday, 27 March 2011

You kinda expected it, didn’t you?

I was amused to see some guy on the BBC lunchtime news yesterday claiming there were 2 million people on the “great march for democracy” in London and they were the majority. (So the other 68 million people in the country don’t count?) I kept waiting for an on-screen caption saying: “another moron from the planet Idiot” – in vain.

No surprise that while the Wrong Milipede was lecturing a crowd on behalf of the party which wrecked the British economy, gangs of thieves and vandals were wrecking West End shops, banks, hotels and other handy businesses.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Don’t Panic!

The contractors are hard at work refurbing my nuclear bunker in case “Japanese Radiation” hits these shores? No, they’re not! It’s just the windmill lobby panic-mongering again.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Is Gadaffiy a target?

Dave our Leader and the Generals seem to have fallen out on this issue but let’s be practical about it. If he were a target, they probably couldn’t hit him anyway so it all becomes highly academic.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

Déjà vu all over again

While listening to reports of the G’duffi banging on about how everyone loves him and he’ll die for his country and everyone else in Libya will do the the same, I was struck by how much the same, all routine dictator-rant is. In fact, I can imagine Gordon Brown doing the same routine for his cronies right up to the moment when the people overthrew his regime. Which kinda blunts the impact of G’duffi’s ravings – imagining him as just another Gordon Brown on the way out.

Friday, 18 March 2011

Well, he’s been and gone and done it

It was always a toss-up between whether the Tories would abolish the armed forces right away because there’s no money to pay for them or sneak in one more war before everything closed down. Call Me Dave the Leader has been busting a gut to get to grips with Libya. And now the stooges at the United Nations have given him a chance. No doubt the British, the Yanks and the French will do all the work and the Germans will sneak in and bag all the decent contracts for rebuilding when the shooting stops.

Monday, 14 March 2011

Any old excuse

The anti-nuclear lobby and the Global Warming Swindlers are using the Japanese earthquake as a reason for banning all nuclear power generation. But the Japanese reactors seem to have survived in remarkably good order after one of the most powerful earthquakes on record. And Britain is not in severe earthquake zone. And how many windmills would survive an earthquake and tsunami strong enough to put a nuclear reactor in trouble?

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Usual suspects inaction

Have you ever noticed that the councils which squawk loudest about being short of money are the ones at the top of the list when it comes to failing to collect local taxes? Like Manchester, which is busy cutting “front-line” services to preserve the pay of town hall staff, councillors and all the“diversity monitor” non-jobs, and which fails to collect 10% of its council tax whilst most other local authorities managed to get north of 97%.

Labour, of course . . .

Friday, 11 March 2011

Just a thought . . .

On which day will the millions of people, who pay for early retirement and gold-plated pensions for public-sector staff, stage their strike in protest at being ripped off by the government and the public sector unions for years and years?

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Life 3:16

People are entitled to hold opinions. Other people are equally entitled to embrace such opinions or discard them because they are silly, offensive or downright harmful. This applies to all opinion sectors, including politics, the weather, religion, matters of taste in the arts & literature, the acceptability of sexual deviations, the education system, priorities in society and everything not nailed down, like man-made global warming.

p.s. Yesterday was both Ash Wednesday and National No Smoking Day. Which genius came up with that combination?

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Interesting thought . . .

Who will police marches by the police in protest against the abolition of their Spanish practices perks? Will members of the public be invited to dress up in riot gear and bully them a bit? And ride police horses and “kettle” a mob of them if they look like becoming unruly? Turn about is fair play, after all!

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Guardian of public morals or just a publicity-seeking ball & bat?

Labour MP C. Bryant has been shooting his mouth off about Prince Andrew’s “inappropriate” friendship with an American billionaire paedophile, who also includes Mandelsleaze among his mates, but nothing said about that.

Lest We Forget, Bryant’s only claim to fame is that he put pictures of himself in his underpants on a homophile dating website. So he’s hardly a person of substance. But it does show how desperate some bits of the meeja are to sleaze Prince Andrew if they’ll give air-time to the likes of Mr. Bryant.

Monday, 7 March 2011

More cash into the pockets of the legal profession

Does anyone really think Jacques Chiraq will have to pay a fine and/or go to gaol for all the money he stole when Mayor of Paris? According to reports, he’s not going to be inconvenienced by the court too much as he has a room where he can go for a lie down if he starts feeling a bit dodgy. And, no doubt, he can sneak off somewhere else while he’s supposed to be in his room.

No, he stands as much chance of going to gaol for theft as Tony B. Liar does for his war crimes.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Falls Over In Amazement

You have to wonder about the qualifications of a Governor of the Bank of England who says he’s surprised to find that all the big banks think about is making an instant profit and they’re not bothered about swindling their customers. It’s what banks do, Merv! Always have, and always will unless they’re regulated tightly enough to impose a small measure of honesty.

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Scroungers’ Charter

Prescription charges in England are going up by 20p/item in April to £7.40/item and the English are moaning about it. Don’t they realize that Gordon Brown spent all our money and maxed out the national credit card? And the money to pay for free prescriptions in Wales and Scotland has to come from SOMEWHERE?

Friday, 4 March 2011

Blood Brothers?

Are our prime monster and Mr. Gaddaffey related? You’ve got the one raving from his bunker in Tripoli that the Libyan people love him and they’d never let Alky Ida terrorist infiltraitors separate him from the billions he’s stolen from Libyan oil revenues. And you’ve got the other raving from his bunker in Downing Street about imposing a “no-fly zone” over Libya when he’s planning to abolish the RAF. Meanwhile, the Yanks are shaking their heads in the background and going, “Nurse, he’s out of bed again!”

It’s a funny old world, and no mistake.

Thursday, 3 March 2011

Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .

Is it just me, I asked my financial expert, but why would anyone who's not Sky want to buy Sky News? Especially if it loses 20 million quid per year.

Simple, he replied. If getting rid of the TV news is the only way Rupert Murdoch's organization can take over Sky, then he's going to be willing to pay the running costs of Sky News for the new owner, and then there's scope for exploiting a gratitude factor. So are you interested in going into the TV news business?

Maybe . . .