The Department of Trade & Industry has issued a warning that the world faces a major shortage of asterisks following an epidemic of profanity among left-wing politicians and their supporters, especially those fulfilling (anti-social) media roles.
The situation is exacerbated by left-wingers who went to public schools showing off their education by using polysyllabic invective, such as o********** and g************, and their habit of stringing together bad language with hyphens, as c****-*****d-t*****.
The British asterisk industry, meanwhile, is working hard to bridge the gap and asks the public to be patient during temporary shortages and to beware of cheap and defective asterisks imported from China.
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