Keep the plebs in their place

Further to the last posting, another of the staff went hospital visiting in Stockport and was quite pleased to see a “Magic Bus” at the hospital stop – right up to the moment when he realized the driver was sitting on the back seat, not polluting his bus with customers until he was ready to get moving again. So there they were – half a dozen people eager to give Stagecoach money but kept hanging around beside the bus on a freezing cold, windy day. Hell of a nice way to run a business.

Tell us another!

One of the staff reported a new message on the electronic sign at our local station. It warns passengers that train doors might close 30 seconds before the advertised departure time. But what it doesn’t go on to mention is that most trains are just leaving the previous station at about this time.

Why would anyone bother?

You kind of suspect that someone throwing paint at vice president Clegg (“Not a big deal”, to quote the man himself) had to be a put-up job. After all, he’s such a colourless non-entity of a millionaire politician that it’s hard to imagine anyone getting worked up about him.

What a wonderful story!

My mind was still boggling over the electrician who was working in shorts when a high-pressure hose shot up his bum and nearly inflated him to death. What!!! Then one of the staff showed me the Littlejohn column in today’s Daily Disaster, which added a whole new dimension to the incredulity. As Mr. L. is fond of saying, you just couldn’t make it up.

It’s All Happening!

Just back from a quick Victory package holiday trip to Libya. The loot includes a genuine Gaddaffiy Xmas tree officer’s hat, 2 gold-plated plastic ducks and the top part of a gold-plated bath tap, a piece of fabric from one of the Great Leader’s personal tents and a bottle of water (now empty) with a bullet in it. The bullet fell from the sky after someone shot it off in celebration with enough force to penetrate the plastic bottle, which was lying on its side on a bench about two feet away from me . . .

Vintage? Fairly.

Happened to catch an episode of the WWF Vintage Collection last night, and I was surprised that the modern WW$ lets it go out. Mainly because the programme highlights just how boring non-entities the “superstars” have become. There used to be real characters in funny outfits in the good old days. Not any more. And shoving in a Cena/Jericho match from 2005 at the end was a swindle. That wasn’t vintage by a long chalk.

Brain in neutral?

“To respond to mob violence with mob justice is a terrible irony.” Is that another way of saying: “What goes around comes around”? Or, as it was in theGuardian, does it mean: “Society is to blame, free the Tottenham 297”?