Smarmerism Clarified

1. Claim you’re not a politician and ignore questions like: “Why are you posing as one, then?”
2. Recruit people to tell you what you should say and pretend to believe in, such as the sacked Mr. McSweety and the 4 directors of communication who got the boot over the last year.
3. If what you’re told is rubbish, it’s the fault of the briefing crew, not the bloke who picked them.
4. Feel free to lie your head off even after establishing a reputation for dishonesty.
5. Try not to look too smug when a bungler like Scottish Labour leader Anass Aahwaa tries to topple you and fails miserably.