No leg left undead

Reform is gaining a reputation as a brilliant repairer of political reputations. Former Tories who were condemned as total deadlegs; Jenrick, Mrs. Braverperson et al; are suddenly marvelous recruits to the Faragists and therefore political crême.
    The most insidious form of politician can be reinvented . . . quite miraculously. Although, whether Reform could do anything with Bier Smarmer is a matter of severe doubt.

Fashion victim heaven

If you want to look like a complete idiot in February, you can pay £199 for a pair of bright red foam-block shoes. They are modelled on Lego bricks and the ultimate in clunkiness.

Today’s Conspiracy

Could it be that Jonah Burnham, Greater Manchester’s mayoral disaster area, is rallying his supporters to arrange for Labour to lose in the Gorton & Denton by-election? Thus building his case that blocking him from taking part and avoiding blowing £5 million a mayoral election to replace him; which will give the job to Reform UK, wasn’t a smart idea?
    The official view from Downing Street is that losing a by-election is preferable to losing control of Greater Manchester.
● The by-election is to replace a bloke who was booted out of the Labour party for being offensive.

It’s what they do

The news that the Chinese have hacked the phones of top bods at Downing Street for years comes as no surprise. Or that a Labour government is pretending it doesn’t happen.

Another Labour outrage

As well as BILLIONs that go with the Chagos Betrayal, our wonderful government is giving Mauritius £45 million per year in development aid.
    That’s country with a growth rate of its economy of 4.5% when the UK strugglies to get near 1%.

The curse goes on

Jonah Burnham’s botched coup attempt will hasten the binning of Bier Smarmer and his replacement by someone even worse. No wonder he’s called Jonah.
    Maybe being exposed as a self-serving and selfish ratbag will damage him. But if the Labour party could make a known ratbag like Beir Smarmer, Corbynstein’s best mate, its leader, maybe not.

Non-event

Bier Smarmer is getting only a half-hearted booting for crawling to the regime in China and coming home with virtually nothing rather than some worthwhile trade deal. After all, we know for sure that Bier is Mr. Useless. He confirms it every day.

Can they wait until 2029?

Reform UK, if elected to government, would do a tony b. liar, Mr. Farage is claiming. Mr. liar gave IRA terrorists a free pass for everything. Britisch veterans who served against the terrorists will get the same protection from the current spate of malicious prosecutions.

Not bovvered

Do we really care that Andrew Mwah invited his pal Epstein to the Palace a month after Ep got out of gaol? Having served his sentence and having become free to resume his place in society, of course.
    The dead Ep is nothing much compared to some of the butchers who have been to the Palace in the name of polytics.

More bodies, less service

The Fantasist of the Exchequer guarandamnteed that she would cut 10,000 snivel service jobs and save £2 billion. But there were 6,300 of them appointed in the year to March 2025. And their mandarins are getting above inflation rewards for failure.

Stuck in a crack

Mr. Giordano says my wine order has been sent to the delivery firm. And there’s a charge on my credit card.
    Two days later, Mr. Yodel’s tracker says the order is still with the shipper.
    Someone is having me on. But who?

Dead either way

There are now over 33,000 fewer opponents of the regime in Iran now. That’s the latest count of the number of people killed by the Republican Guard assassination squads; shot in the streets and hospitals rather than hanged in prisons.

Time-waster

What is the new French ‘stop the boats’ strategy? Arrest someone on a boat that’s chugging along a canal with 40 bodies aboard, and take the bloke to court so that the judge can decide he’s a passenger and let him go.

Who’s right?

The boss of the IMF reckons A.I is going to wipe out jobs as it has got faster than the world can handle. 60% of jobs will be affected, she told the gang at Davros, home of the Daleks. Mostly adversely.
    The Muskites, however, are rubbing their hands with glee and looking forward to an Age of Abundance.
    And then there are the realists, who are waiting for the A.I bubble to burst when there’s not enuff electricity to run the super-computers.
    “Which shall it be, Passworthy?”

Reality Bites

The Exchange Fantasist promised lower rates bills before her disastrous budget last year. What she failed to take into account, however, was that business rates would be ‘revised’ and the resulting bill would be spectacularly higher based on the new valuation cum guess cum swindle.
    Thievin is now having to bail out pubs to stop the rate of closure becoming even more embarrassingly high, and the rest of the hospitality trade remains snapping at her ankles.

Always elsewhere grovelling

Bier Smarmer, currently on his kneepads in China, is getting a booting from an outraged steel industry for buying it from China instead of having it made here. Using Chinese-sourced steel is part of the Milipede Nett Zero scam.

Wot’s going on?

Who’s in charge of the winter storm alphabet? We had a Storm Grotter at the beginning of the month but the newsworthy one this week is Storm Chaos. Some foreigner to blame?
    Apparently, there was also a Storm Ingrid after Grotter.

More tax-cash needed?

Police officers in England and Wales will have to undergo an MOT-style test in order to keep their licence to practice. The Home Office is being very coy about how often coppers will have to be tested, which indicates that it’s just a distraction from something else and it hasn’t been thought through or costed.

Another job vacancy

For the first time ever, our Royal Navy has Nett Zero top rank Admirals. The last of them quit his job last week and a Labour government is in no rush to replace him as Defence of the Realm does not matter to Smarmer’s Army.

Trust Blaster

What do you get when the government blows £4.6 BILLION on a Nett Zero insulation scam? Fraud on a massive scale and botched work which creates damp and mould, and also higher energy prices.
    The government is ‘auditing’ [i.e. not doing anything to fix problems] external wall insulation scams ‘at no coast to the consumer’.
    Which is a lie if the consumer is one of the taxpayers who will have to pay to clear up another government mess.

Poor Little Me syndrome

Is all the publicity given to Brooklyn Bridge’s mega-whinge about his controlling parents part of a sinister government plot? Is Smarmer’s Army trying to persuade the nation that being rich and having enterprising and talented parents is a bad idea?
    “Give all your cash to us so that we can waste it,” has to be the hidden agenda behind the warning that wealth turns people into ham actors with a scripted life, which drops to bitz if someone else goes off-script.

Something better to spend the Chagos billions on?

The government is not paying a realistic price for aspirin and other vital drugs. As a result, there is a national shortage of aspirin and pharmacies are having to ration supplies and give the tablets only to people with serious health conditions.
    Our wonderful government has had to ban exports of the drug to prevent manufacturers selling it abroad at a decent price.

Today’s bonus questions

1. If former PM TheRazor May was told to get dressed in bed during a trip to China to prevent her hosts’ spy cameras from filming her naked, what did she do about taking a shower or a bath?
2. BierBC newscast or newscatter?

Challenge to Nett Zero posturing

Criminal gangs are doing their best to sabotage Edstone Milipede’s lunatic Nett Zero fantasy. By attaching charging points for EVs. They are stealing cables for their copper content; at £20 a throw; and hitting 60 charging points per month at the current rate.
    The cost of replacing each cable can be nudged up to a grand a time when the accountants have finished their fiddles. And the police are too busy with trivialities to be bovvered. Hence the demand to upgrade the seriousness of the thefts to attacks on critical national infrastructure.

Today’s Questions

1. Is that Venezuela forgotten now that trumPut’n has sent has sent his fleet to menace Iran?
2. Where will the Ayatollah Bunchacommies end up if he has to bug out? Moscow, with the other usual suspect rejects?
3. Who is this Burkaman, who’s supposed to be Manchester’s mayor?
4. Why didn’t ITV4 show episode 6 of series 1 of The Sweeney, “Night Out”? Or does 7 follow 5 in their numbering system?

Squidgeproof

How do you pot the POTUS over his slagging off of British troups who served in Afghanistan? Rake up trumPut’n’s history as a draft dodger which kept him well clear of the Vietnam war?
    Ancient history. And he did a U-turn on the slagging. Everything will be forgotten when the next outrage comes along.

Always an alibi

If you’ve noticed that Bier Smarmer’s excuses have been even more excessively pathetic of late, it’s because his chief apologist, Pizaz Beluga, is having an extended nervous breakdown.

Night (as opposed to day) of shame

The Home Secretary got a booting last week for sneaking vanloads of illegals to a parking spot at Crowborough in the middle of the night. The former military base will eventually house 500 male illegals, who will be free to hang around at local schools if they choose to.
    The locals are not happy, but what do their opinions matter?

Not the way THEY want it!

The thing about a 3-hour film on TV, such as one of the Mission Impossible series, I’ve been told, is that you can have your dinner during the first hour, then press the ‘pause’ button, do all the washing up and get back up to date by fast-forwarding through the advert breaks.

Mockworthy

An ancient sawmill in Glasgow has been saved from developers, with the aid of the local MSP, Mr. P. Sweeney (Labour), and will become a Grade C listed building.
    Mr. Sweeney is now claiming that he had no idea that a seedy sex club was using the building as its venue. No danger of due diligence when you were playing the heritage card, Paul?

Different deadleg

Is Smarmer the equivalent of Joe Biden? Not even close. Creaky Joe was elected by a majority in the USA to be its figurehead for 4 years. Only the Labour party gave Bier his job with no guarantee of it lasting for the length of this Parliament. And only 20% of the electorate voted Labour.

Neglect of duty

Surprise! Retailers are making outlandish claims for their weight loss supplements, and the usual suspect websites are at it too. The consumer watchdog Which? is having to do the job of shooting down the false claims as, it seems, the government can’t be bovvered. Well, nothing new there.

Just useless

The Thievin Reeves plan to cut the costa living in the new year is off to a typical start. She’s got inflation UP from 3.2% to 3.4%. She also has economic growth stuck at Nett Zero. And groceries inflation is 4.5% and rising.

Crawler

Bier Smarmer is having to take extra knee pads on his trip to China to make sure that when he’s grovelling, he doesn’t damage his freebie suits. The Downing Street spokes would not reveal whether the knee pads are freebies or charged to taxpayer-funded expenses.

Another plague source

Experts picking the lies out of the trumPut’n speech in Davros, home of the Daleks, have reached a not unreasonable conclusion. The speech is full of lies because exposure to our Prime Monster has passed on Bier’s dishonesty bug to the POTUS!

Another Labour Betrayal

The Tories put safety measures into their Legacy Act to protect from malicious prosecutions, those who protected the UK against the IRA. Smarmer’s Army has cancelled this protection. Worse, it’s  lying about what has been done.

Slavery Tier

Edstone Milipede, Energy Sec. pro tem, has confirmed that he is okay with buying Chinese solar panels made using slave labour for his latest energy scam. He’s that kinda guy, Red Ed. Totally unaffected by life’s little realities.

U-Pause

+++ trumPut’n bluff called by Greenland +++ trumPut’n does rant about Chagos Betrayal +++ UK trade deal with US to be unpicked? +++ Smarmer & Squirmer checked +++ But not slam-dunked into the dustbin, where they belong +++ Bier Smarmer will not yield +++ Until he finds out what the word means and does a U-turn +++

Some certainty

What do we know for sure about our Prime Monster? Well, he doesn’t do half-measures. He’s not a little bit dodgy, he’s 100% thoroughly dishonest and untrustworthy. It’s an observation which has to colour everything we get from him.

More unsmashed gangs

Nothing much is being done about the criminal gangs which start a roadside dump of rubbish of all types and create a heap which costs MILLIONs to shift.
    What is it about gangs and the Labour party?

The past revealed

A count of the finds from digs by our archaeologists has made 2024 a record year. The best places to look for good stuff are Norfolk, Suffolk and Lincolnshire.

Going wrong on everything

POTUS trumPut’n seems to be in a competition to come up with the most absurd slander imaginable, e.g. the biscuit-taking one about Britisch troops shirking the front line in Afghanistan.
    But with whom is he in competition?

Sussed!

Could it be that the true agenda of the Bored of Peace is to start lots of small wars, which a certain president hungry for a fistful of Nobel Peace Prizes can end?

The real bosses

It has been pointed out that the Founding Fathers of the Untied States put Congress in charge of everything. Not the president.
    The Congress could impeach trumPut’n to put a stop to his demented ravings.
    That nothing is being done about them just demonstrates how weak, useless and pointless this institution has become as it approaches its 250th birthday.
    Senility rulz, Nokay.

NFL end game

Orf to Seattle next. A dive for a TD put the Squawks ahead. A long FG for the visiting Rams. One for the Squawks as Q1 ran down. A long kick for the Rams in Q2, then a TD as the half ran out, but leaving enough time for one by the Squawks, 13-17.
    A botched punt catch try set up a TD for the Squawks 2 minutes in to Q3. One for the Rams, another for the Squawks, 20-31. Taunting by the Squawks helped the Rams to a TD. The Rams didn’t take the pints on a 4th down with 5 minutes left. Still 27-31 as time ran out.
    Pretty much a who cares who wins Super Bowl this year as neither finalist has any fans at the mansion.

AFL end game

The Broncos looked in charge after going a quick TD up but they failed to go for the FG on a 4th down early in Q2. And that gave the Patriots some steam.
    Going for the QB toward the end of the half gave them a scoring chance, 7-all at the break after both teams missed a FG try.
    The Patriots took the points and a 10-7 lead in Q3. Loads of fine snow and a FG miss by the Patriots at the end of Q3. The pitch covered with snow.
    A FG miss; helped by the wind; for the Broncos in impossible conditions with 5 minutes left. A pick with 2 minutes left and a 1st down set up a Super Bowl trip for the Patriots.

Shrinkage only

As Labour concentrates on shuffling the deck at the top of the police forces in England and Wales to dilute local accountability, the number on the front-line fell by 10,000 between March 2003 and March 2005.
    Worse, 220,000 jobs of all sorts have gone since the 2024 general election thanks to Labour’s insane tax ‘n’ waste policies.
    A government spokes, Hadjzamboni Lushenko, offered some meaningless wibble, which was deemed unworthy of retention.

Grand notion

A High Court judge has given Reform UK permission to challenge Bier Smarmer’s attempt to cancel this year’s local elections.
    The Speaker of the Commons (originally Labour) is also in favour of elections in his constituency in Lancashire. Maybe he could develop a blind eye to turn on Bier when he wants to unload more of his lies on us in Parliament.

Another nowhere

It’s situation TACO** as far as trumPut’n’s ambition to take over Greenland is concerned.
    He’s now claiming he’s made a deal and that’s why he’s called off the threat of invasion and tariffs and all the other stuff.
    But the deal, such as it is, just lets the Untied States build more military bases on Greenland. Which is something that NATO would have nodded through without all the trouble.
    trumPut’n is getting some credit, however. Sadly, it’s for creating a ‘new world disorder’. And his Bored of Peace doesn’t seem to be up to much either.
**TACO = trumPut’n Always Chickens Out
    POTUS and we pot you. Maybe.

The road to nowhere

Is Jonah Burnham under the delusion that his cloud of disaster doesn’t apply to him? Despite warnings that Labour’s National Executive Committee wouldn’t let him be a candidate for the Gorton & Denton by-election, Jonah went ahead. And was duly grotted on by Bier and his NEC.

The neglect agenda

Local councils are getting a booting for causing road accidents and near misses by failing to renew worn-out road markings as well as failing to fill potholes.
    There’s always something woke and worthy to waste our cash on instead of the job the council is supposed to do.

Too much dosh down the drain

Five million quid to hold an election for another Greater Manchester mayor (which Labour would lose).
    That’s Bier Smarmer’s reason for blocking Jonah Burnham’s ambition to become an MP again.
    Lest we forget, he’s the Stafford Hospital neglect, all the banks going bust, and GM police in administration and the chief constable sacked Jonah Burnham.

No stopping American Crunch

At least 200 million people are at risk extreme cold weather in the Untied States. Will this impact the NFL divisional championship play-off matches in Denver and Seattle?
    Denver can expect 25 deg.F, feels like 18 deg.F, but the ground’s staff at Mile High Stadium should be able to cope with the amount of snow expected.
    Seattle, in the Pacific North-West, won’t be hit by the winter storm. Around 44 deg.F and sunny is the prediction for the kick-off, with not much wind.

The worst of the worst

The Education Sec., B. Phillipson, has been voted the most useless Cabinet minister for promising to defend free speech in cancel-culture infested universities and then spending a year ignoring the ishue.
    The UK is now 64th in the world academic freedom rankings and Oxo and Cantab are in the top 3 in the UK list of the worst woke, far-left cancel culture offenders.

Unwelcome

The real reason why the Inuits of Greenland don’t want to sell the place to the USA, even if they get the top whack of $74,000 apiece, or even a million bucks, is that they expect their new landlord to send in the ICE to evict all of the native population as ‘not wanted in the Untied States’ and they’ll end up stuck in migrant hotels in the UK.

Boneyard of contention

The Boy Beckham’s son, Brooklyn Bridge, has joined the Hissy Kids’ Club with an online deluge of whinges. Does Prince Hairy have a rival for the presidency? And will becoming top dog mean a pay rise for the kid’s ghost writer?

Apocalypse postponed

    A deadleg too far or Bier chickens out
Bier Smarmer has blocked Jonah Burnham from standing as a Labour candidate in a coming local by-election on the grounds that electing a replacement cosmetic mayor would be a waste of money and Labour can’t afford the campaign involved.
    Would it cost more than the Chagos betrayal, Bier?
Translation: unnecessary election = one Labour will lose.

Are we doomed?

The human wrecking ball Jonah Burnham, currently cosmetic mayor of Greater Manchester, is hoping to become an MP again so that he can take over from Bier Smarmer.
    He’s denying it, which, in line with current Labour values, means that it has to be true. If successful, Jonah will wreck the entire country, not just parts of it.

Another one

The Daily Disaster’s A.I has no Scottish input. Hence Renfrews-hire at a line break, splitting the shire apart in the tradition of other creations, which began with supery-acht.

Spot the difference

1. A 37-year-old American man shot by government agents.
2. A 37-year-old American man armed with a self-loading pistol plus two spare magazines; and no I.D; shot in a confrontation with ICE agents.

Easier media access

Nothing about revolution in Iran in the news any more. It’s all about President trumPut’n and the masked immigrants in Iranapolis doing rioting against ICE. Encouraged by the Democraps in Minnesota for their own reasons.

A spot of company for our guy

POTUS trumPut’n has invited his old mate Put’n the Poisoner to pony up a billion bucks and join his Gaza Exploitation Gang, which is being outed as a rival to the United Nations Organization with trumPut’n in permanent charge.
    Mr. b. liar is officially honoured to join the Gang but President MacRon of France responded with a Gallic “Non!”

Alternative strategy

Has Bier Smarmer actually done U-turn 14 on banning under-16s from the interweb after he said he wouldn’t do it? Actually, as Conservative leader Mrs. Badenuff has also spotted, he’s going to ‘consult’ on the ishue.
    Translation: He’s going to boot it into the long grass as an alternative to actually making a decision.

Not their decision

Cheshire Police are getting a booting for complaining that the CPS didn’t buy their ‘evidence’ for further charges against the imprisoned nurse Lucy Letby.
    Was she railroaded? Could well be if most if not all of the ‘evidence’ against her has been ‘exploded’. Has the Cheshire police farce been prevented from attempting more railroading? Could well be.

Gorra be rich

People with dementia can get a pair of £700 glasses which talks them through simple tasks and jogs their memory. How they can be reminded to put the glasses on has not been revealed.
    One further snag: the operating software costs £50/month.

File is under ‘U’ for Useless

Our wonderful MPs have trumped blowing 10 million quid of our money on a House of Frauds security door that doesn’t work. They have blown £62 million on New Palace Yard, giving it gates, turnstiles which the average female user finds a struggle to negotiate and some cobbles instead of a user-friendly walking surface.
    Question: Is their casual attitude to our money supposed to be some sort of alibi for failing to spot government waste?

File under ‘T’ for Twit

Culture Vulture Sec. L. Nandy got a good booting for claiming that a Reform UK government would be fascist without adding: “Like the local election-cancelling Labour lot.”
    File it under ‘S’ for short-changed as well.

Appreciated TV

What we need is more CI5. The last 2 episodes that I saw on Legend, which didn’t bother with the original order, had one bad guy blown up on a boat on the Thames and another BG blown up in a wrecked light aircraft; both not in sight, boom! and a huge fireball.
    None of our cash was wasted on a trial.
    Charlie’s Angels, however, are not as good. It was obvious to the TV audience at home that the ‘woman’ doing the night club act last night was a bloke in drag, but not to the Angels.
    Gosh! David Vincent and his Invaders will be on next month.

An explanation

The job of POTUS is rather perilous at times; Mr. trumPut’n has the scars to confirm that. Which is why his security chief insists on deploying one of his discreet team of doubles at times.
    Unfortunately, for the world at large, the closest match to the original, Lou Scannon, has a weird sense of humour and a terribly poor sense of self-discipline.

Chattering voices

The EFU’s response was talking about hitting America with a billion euros in tariffs if President trumPut’n goes ahead with his plan to invade Greenland to grab its mineral resources.
    That’s just talking. No actual action.
    Polyticks Inaction.

Forage fodder

Storm Grotter is getting the blame for blasting containers off cargo ships and covering beaches in the south of England with all sorts, including bananas and packets of ready to cook chips.

More blame dumping

Fat-jabbers going for more protein in their diet are getting the blame for an expected 10-20% rise in the cost of meat this year. That and soaring energy prices and all the warmongering going on around the world.

Just outrageous

One billion effin dollars. That’s how much trumPut’n wants to charge us for giving tony b. liar a permanent seat on his Gaza Takeover Gang and UNO substitute.
    Will Smarmer tell him to eff off? That gutless wonder? No way. He’ll just jump at another chance to Betray Britain More by throwing more of our cash away.

As dishonest as ever

Edstone Milipede is claiming that electricity from wind turbines is 40% cheaper than electricity from gas turbines. This is a lie.
    It’s 80% dearer and with yet more subsidies to come.
    How does he get away with his lies? Because Bier Smarmer is too weak and feeble to sack him.

Another translation

Slogan: 14 years of Tory Chaos.
Translation: All governments are crap and if the current one (Labour) is a whole lot crapper than the previous one, Bier & Co. would rather you didn’t notice it.
    And please use it's preferred pronoun's: twit, twat & twerp.

Stick to yer job, mate

POTUS Trump has had a booting from the medical trade, which condemned his attempt to link taking paracetemol during  pregnancy with autism.
    An extensive review of lotz of international data has confirmed that Trump’s rant was just garbage.

Bribe ’em or boot ’em

What was the response from that extremely ‘very hungry caterpillar’ POTUS trumPut’n to President MacRon’s refusal to join the UN rival? A threat of 200% tariffs on French wines and spirits.
    Meanwhile, Put’nstan is taking the trumPut’n demand for Greenland as validation of Put’n’s demand for the whole of Ukraine.

Wot about the Vogons?

Wandsworth Council got a good booting for continuing to do the ‘declare your pronouns’ thing before meetings and offering ze, zir & zem as obfuscating alternatives to genuine human pronounds. And using they, which is plural, for one person, which is just plain looney.

Evil done with bad intentions

The Durham & Darlington NHS Trust got a good booting from a tribunal for abusing the ’uman rights of female nurses. They started complaining about an eonist using their changing rooms over two years ago. The trust and the Labour government are still dragging their feet over this abuse. No management sackings for incompetence are expected.

Today’s Question(s)

Would my bank appreciate me more if I pay off my credit card bill in the last week of the month, as usual, rather than waiting to the last minute?
    Or will they just take no bloody notice of a consistent payer?

Just Cosmetic

The Thievin U-turn on taxing pubs is just a joke if the rest of the hospitality industry is ignored. The fantasies floated when calculating business rates are a real killer. But expecting Labour to come up with a sensible set of reforms is a waste of time, bitter experience tells us.

The real bad guys

Norway is getting the blame for the assault on Greenland and bitz of Europe by POTUS trumPut’n. The Nobel Committee failed to give him his Peace Prize last year and he is MAD!!!
    Especially as President O’Bummer got one for doing nothing at all.

No Chance

Smarmer’s Army won’t admit it but the building trade will keep telling them that their housing target is just another fantasy. Their taxes and red tape make building 1,500,000 new homes by the end of the century, rather than the end of this parliament, look more reasonable.
    The crash in the construction industry is worse than the one achieved by Thievin’s idol, Gordon F. Broon in 2008, the major players have calculated.

Double trouble

The Fantasist of the Exchequer is building her credentials for being delusional by claiming that the Britisch economy is motoring when the IMF says it’s stuck in the slow lane.
    Worse, she’s going to end up in trouble with the Energy Fantasist Edstone Milipede for gaslighting the public with her silly claims instead of using overpriced Nett Zero electricity.

No Escape

When Smarmer lets the Chinese build their mega-spy-centre and if someone kidnaps Smarmer and claims he’s being held there, what then?
    Are the Chinese likely to let the Met search the place to prove he’s not in one of the cells?

FIFA Frazzler

Is POTUS trumPut’n setting up a boycott of the Mexico-USA-Canada World Cup by major European teams with his on-off taxes and taunts? This will make him even more popular!

Nothing new

Will the Labour party’s Moslem biased blasphemy law bring 2-tier policing to our streets, as objecters are complaining?
    Actually, no. We already have it. But it will certainly increase the number of special interest tiers and the concept creep involved in redefining the junk work ‘Islamophobia’ will let bean counters invent ever huger hate crime statistics.
    And buy Moslem votes for the Labour party, which is the prime intention.

Place your bets!

Bier Smarmer is on the record as opposing a ban on under-16s using anti-social meeja. Will this be U-turn 14? Bier is being booted from all sides by his back-benchers over lotz of other unpopular policies, which makes something else claiming the 14 slot very possible.
● Opponents of the ban in the real world want better parenting rather than a political blunt instrument being used by idiots on a complex problem.

Recipe for stagnation

The only people in the private sector making lotz of dosh before and after the Fantasist’s November budget disaster are accountants and tax consultants. No one surprised.

Bin-fodder in due course

Jenrick for PM? That’s the bloke frequently labelled as a fraud by Mr. Farage; and also by Reform UK’s candidate to replace the Sadgeek in London; over his (Jenrick’s) miserable record as the immigration minister.
    And as long as Jenrick is around, everyone in Reform is going to be watching a known back-stabber like the proverbial hawk. Not to mention having an eye out for everyone who chums up with the back-stabber who tried to do it to Sunak before Mrs. Badenuff.

Timeo Danaos

Was it an attempt to baffle Putinstan – appointing a bloke called Danae Dholakia as our chargé d’affaires in Moscow? Leave the blighters wondering if they’d got the right bloke to moan at when they were intent on chucking out a Britisch diplomat for spying?

A Mainwaring Mob

Our cash-starved Army is being forced to recreate the Home Guard of World War II to make up the number of bodies in uniform needed in the face of aggression from Putinstan and Trumpstan. Veterans in their late 50s and early 60s will be called up to fill gaps in skilled jobs rather than put on the front line. There were 95,000 conscripts available at the last count.

Mr. No-Mates

Well, who’da thunk it? The Faragists are less than thrilled by the arrival in their ranks of the failed back-stabber R. Jenrick. And the bloke who was in line to be Reform UK’s chancellor shadow isn’t stepping aside voluntarity.

Wallet Emptier

There’s a company being set up in the US (where else?) To offer space tourists 5 days at an inflatable hotel on the Moon for £7.5 million. Which sounds like a good idea. Anyone who jumps too high in the reduced gravity will just bump off a rubber ceiling and make a soft landing on a rubber floor.

“America out!”

Will President trumPut’n make as big an impact at the international conference in Davros, home of the Daleks, as the Boy Beckham made?
    A former footballer is a hard act for a bloke with nett zero athletic credentials to follow.

Interesting fact

Thanks to History Without The Boring Bits by Ian Crofton (2007), I now know that the term eonism has been applied to the adoption of female dress and behaviour since the 19th century.
    It was inspired by the life of the Chevalier d’Eon, a French soldier, diplomat and spy, whose mother insisted on dressing him as a girl.

The way forward

What the world needs is for the Men from U.N.C.L.E. to go after and sort out the bad guys of T.R.U.M.P., which is clearly an infiltraitor offshoot of Thrush and just as dangerous to Western civilization.

Just compare

100 gms of dark chocolate from Cadbury’s = £1.69.
100 gms of dark chocolate from Aldi = 75p.

Just ignore

Them there Easter eggs wot are now in supermarkets will be 16% smaller and cost 17% more than last year’s offerings. To be bought only by those okay with being swindled.

On the up

The UK dog population has risen by four million since 2020 and offering doggie birthday parties is a new growth industry. One explanation in circulation is that dogs are cheaper than kids and that couples are putting off breeding in favour of a pocket-easier alternative.

All out of the same box

We have Conservative leader K. Badenuff chopping out the party’s dead wood and Reform UK hoovering it up. Nigel now has a party of tyros and deadlegs.
    How is that much different from the collection of stooges and wasters that makes up Smarmer’s Army?

File under ‘B’ for Boneheaded

It is claimed that the movement seeking to have o’besity declared a disease and not something caused by greed is gaining traction. Genetics and the food industry are getting a lot of the blame.
    Okay, if 64% of the population is o’bese, that’s a definite majority compared to the 20% of the electorate that voted Labour in 2024. But sheer quantity is no guarantee of quality, as Smarmer’s Army keep on demonstrating.

U-turn in the right direction

POTUS Trump has hit the nail on the head. The Smarmer & Squirmer decision to hand the Chagos Islands to Mauritius and China at huge expense to Britisch taxpayers is gross stoopidity, which was done for no reason.
    Mr. Farage from the garage is getting some credit for opening Trump’s eyes to a betrayal of both the UK and the US.

A quick swerve

The Chief Constabule of the West Midlands police farce has short-circuited the attempts to sack him buy opting for the retirement escape route.
    He’s also threatening to sue for constructive dismissal. A job for Lord Squirmer, defending him? And another fee if the ex-Chief Con. is done for misconduct?
    Natch, the local Police Commish (Labour) and the Labour-supporting local Islamist mob will not be troubled with any misconduct charges for fabricating ‘evidence’ of hooliganism against Israeli football fans.

Another hand held out

The Green party’s weird leader is hoping to buy the Yoof Vote by demanding free bus passes for under-22s. Not that anyone with the power to do it is listening.
    It’s just him living up to his reputation for encouraging weirdness and scrounging.
    Like the bit-players do.

Their problem

When you think about it, it’s only fair that America should be in charge of rebuilding Gaza and paying for it under the direction of a Trump-crony gang which also includes the warmonger tony b. liar.
    After all, the Yanks paid for Israel’s efforts to wreck the joint.

Another failure

Has Australia managed to ban under-16s from anti-social meeja? Nope. Lotz of them have come up with work-arounds, including claiming to be 16, and those who haven’t been able to keep in touch with the meeja world have jumped onto the mental ’elf bandwagon.

Divisional Sunday

A close match initially, a Texans’ rookie QB throwing picks, which the Patriots took advantage from, another home team win; as we expected in cold, wet and snowy New England.
    Go Rams, Go Rams, Go, Go, Go! in wet and much snowier Chicago. Evens at half time and at the end of Q3. Crap. 17-all at full time and OT after a Chicago Fail Mary didn’t in the LAR end zone.
    A quick stop by the Bears. A pick by the Rams! Into field goal range, 42 yards for the kick, the first away team win of the weekend. Yay!

Translation

When Bier Smarmer says he is ‘turning the country around’, he actually means that he is ‘running it into the ground’.
    But we’re close to tautology on this now.

It goes on and on

The Fantasist of the Exchequer is trying to blame the erosion of her financial ‘headroom’ on Smarmer U-turns. That’s her alibi for more manifesto destroying tax rises this year.

Off-beam

Former (sacked, but not as often as the Mandelsleaze) Labour minister Lord Blunkett thinks the U-turn government goes two steps forward and one step back.
    Close, but it’s actually one step forward and two back.
    Blunk also thinks a Farage government would have all the sophistication of primary school kids driving a JCB. Something we’re more than used to after 18 months of Smarmer’s Army.

Killer

The RSPB is warning that Edstone Milipede’s vanity project plan for a wind farm on Berwick Bank near the border with England will drive Scottish puffins into extinction.
    Not that he’s bovvered, of course.
    The electricity company SSE claims that the wind farm will combat climate change, which is a black lie. It will have Nett Zero measurable effect on the global climate, as everyone with more than 2 working brain cells knows.

Wonkism

Idiots at the National Portrait Gallery are claiming that pictures of Lawrence of Arabia in Arab dress are cultural appropriation rather than a secret agent blending in with the local population at the invitation of the local leader. The NPC has chosen not to reaveal the number of sensitive souls who have collapsed in a heap on the floor on seeing the pix.

And further . . .

NATO has underpinned Western security since World War II. There is now a debate ongoing over what award Trump should get for changing that to undermined.

Get out of that

President Trump reckons that he should get a Nobel Peace Prize for each of the 8 wars that he claims to have ended. [Anyone got a list of them? Ed.] Extending that rule, starting a war with Venezuela and going after 8 NATO members over his attempt to annex Greenland means that he owes the Norwegians one peace prize now.

It’s everywhere

What has the National Education Union been spending members’ money on? A KC-led investigation which has been running since 2024 into anti-Semitism following many complaints by Jewish teachers.

Holding the line

There’s one British officer among the tiny squad of NATO troops going to Greenland to back up Danish troops in the face of threats from the Ayatollah Bunchatrump.
    But can we spare him? (Or her?)

The end of free speech

Our wonderful Labour government is being accused of trying to sneak in a blasphemy law by banning criticism of Moslems and their un-Britisch practices. Just no liking Islam will be an excuse for a public execution if the activists get their way.
    This is an obvious breach of the ’uman bluddy rights of everyone, Moslems included, and a way to sneak back non-crime, non-event logging by the police.

Today’s Observation #2

We have a government which is consistent. Everything it tells us involves at least one lie.

Trump thinks he’s Put’n?

He wants, he gets; that’s his new rule for the world. You got what he wants, tough for you. Hand it over or else.

Divisional Saturday

The blundering Bills did well to get to overtime in Denver before being done in. The 49ers managed more blunders in Seattle. Never looked dangerous. Murdered.

Mr. Predictable

The thing aboutr Smarmer is that he’s been found out. He’ll swear blind he’s going to do half a dozen wonderful things. But when it comes to the point of delivery, he’s nowhere to be seen And everyone knows he’s in his bunker, concocting the next List of Lies.

On the Web to make money

What do you have to do to be an influenzer in the field of good looks? One weird Yank went as far as bashing himself in the face with a hammer to break bones so that he could rearrange them.
    As is typical with the interweb, influenzers present BS as validated science. Because they’re allowed to.

Today’s Observation #1

What is Bier Smarmer’s Coalition of the Willing lacking? Some Members who are both Ready and Able.

Undefined Danger

We’re supposed to panic about the presence of plastic micro-particles in woodland without being told how 500 of them per square metre compares with their natural rivals.
    That’s bits of rock, plants, insect and animal bodies and bones, etc., of which there are zillions in circulation.
    The attitude seems to be: “Just stick ‘toxic’ in front of ‘plastic’. That will get the sods jumping!”

Just not possible

Why won’t the government ban the gross porn-purveyer X-witter? Because it’s a prime repository for Labour lies and propaganda aimed at those who get their ‘news/ from the interweb.

File under ‘W’ for Wrong

Trump the Annexer is threatening the UK with 10% tariffs, which will become 25% in June, if Denmark fails to hand its territory of Greenland to the US like pronto.
    All our PM can do is . . . nothing. No surprise.

Forget cheaper energy

How very Labour that Edstone Milipede is heading for the Chancellor’s job at the next deckchair shuffle. His Nett Zero bill to the nation has been exposed as guesses based on fantasy. The Climate Change Committee’s guesses are half of more realistic figures as the true cost of wind and solar soars. And then there’s all the rest on top of this.
    The end cost of Milipede’s blundering will be several more trillions than the fantasists’ top whack of £7.6 trillion.

File under ‘U’ for Useless

Today’s Sunday Post is irate about two puppy farmers, who were convicted of neglect two years ago after raking in millions, not yet having been sentenced by the snail-like Scottish judicial system.
    No explanation is on offer as the Crown Office, the Procurator Fiscal Service and the Scottish Government do not comment on individual cases which expose their failures.
● Despite huge backlogs, the SNP is planning to cut the budgets for justice and prisons.

Crossword stoopidity

Q: putting peg (3)
A: anyone who thinks a golf tee is needed on a putting green is a bozo, like this crossword compiler.

KA-POP!

What are the doombuggers offering us for 2026? Something worse than the sub-prime mortgage shenannygoats which broke the big banks (except Barclays) in 2008. An action replay of the 1929 crash is on the way when the A.I bubble explodes. Probably because the power needed to run the huge A.I computers just won’t be available.

Slump in standards

A reduction in nett migration is giving the government a headache. Most of it is due to measures introduced during the end of the last Tory spell of government, which leaves no credit for Smarmer’s Army to claim.
    A significant part is due to those able to get the hell out of Labour’s mess doing so. And another significant part of the reduction is due to illegals finding that their free ride isn’t much cop under Labour and also getting the hell out.
    The overall result of the population change is worthwhile people being replaced by scroungers and small boaters, which is nothing for Labour to shout about.

Raspers

There’s another bit of Labour nastiness going on in Lewisham in south London. The local council is installing speed bumps designed to scrape the underside of expensive cars yet leave el cheapo models unscathed.

Get out of that

The Met, which employs over 300 staff with a criminal record, including shock-horror sex offenders, is in a numbers war with the USA.
    President Trump has given the Sadgeek Police Commish and cosmetic mayor a good booting over safety in the capital. The Met has pointed out that it is safer in terms of the murder rate than cities like Chicago (+333%), Noo Yawk (+248%) and Philly (+170%).

Cash termination

The Church of England’s customers are warning the bosses that if they start handing out virtue-flagging slavery payouts, they can forget cash going into collection boxes in churches.
    81% of those asked in a survey said that another charity would get their church cash. The slavery scam, invented by the now discredited and departed Archybish Wetby, has been roundly condemned as historically unfounded and lacking in any legal justification.

More hands in pockets

Something else on the Angrier Rayner workers’ rights list – loading businesses with a £60 million bill for attempting to protect pretendy sensitive staff from overheard hurty comments by dissatisfied customers and the inevitable demands for yet more compenbluddysation.

Could be

Questions have been asked. Why does Bier Smarmer have nothing to say about the eruption in Iran? Could it be that our ineffectual figurehead has realized that nothing he says matters, and anything he does witter will be held against him in the future?
    Just like his pledge to proscribe the murderous Revolutionary Guards in Iran, which was never delivered.

Well, it’s only fair

No taxation without representation. No local elections, no need to pay council tax to an illegitimate body?
    The Labour case that some councils will disappear in the next few years and the elections are a waste of money is without credibility. When was Labour ever bothered about wasting our money?

Smarmy Squirm

Bier Smarmer is trying to set up a battle with the EFU after his successor loses the next general election. He’s offering the EFU compenbluddysation if Reform UK undoes his Brexit betrayal.
    N. Farage, though, has pointed out that no government can impose conditions on its successor, and the Conservatives agree with him. How curious that Smarmer, the alleged legal eagle, doesn’t know this and that he’ll be wasting his time and our money on his pointless manoeuvrings. Which is what Labour does all the time, waste time and our money.

Another non-quitter

The boss of S.E. Water, £400K salary plus £115K bonus, has the good sense to live in an area of his fief which hasn’t been affected by loss of supply due to burst pipes, and he won’t be resigning anytime soon.

One incident vs a previous extended campaign

Should the Chief Constable of the West Midlands police farce be sacked for shaming the uniform? If the top coppers who tried to frame entertainers and Conservative politicians for child murders on the testimony of fantasists when Bier Smarmer was the Director of Public Prostitutions kept their jobs, and went higher in the ranks of law enforcement, why shouldn’t he?
    Why is Labour suddenly trying to pretend that evidence based on a pack of lies is shameful? And why aren’t the Labour local councillors who were behind the ban on visiting Israelis football fans being told to quit? Their Chief Constable is just a product of the left-wing obsession with favouring Islamists at the expense of everyone else.

Totally out of touch

Why does Sadgeek K’han’t need 15 armed police on duty round the clock to keep him and his family safe in the city where President Boris used to ride around alone on his bike?

Just effin useless

Q: How long does it take 43 snivel servants and 8 academics to translate 8 English words into Welsh?
A: Trick question. They didn’t.
    Even with the help of a Welsh dictionary, they managed to do only 4 of the words, and one was suspect, labelled as Wenglish; i.e. a straight copy of an English word with the spelling mucked about a bit.

A fair question

South-West Water failed to deliver supplies of its product to the homes and businesses of customers for days on end due to leaks and burst pipes. “Send in the Army,” yelled some. To do what, exactly?

They don’t like it up ’em

Why is Smarmer trying to get X-witter banned but not the other auntie-socalled meeja? Because too many people on X-witter are calling him an idiot and exposing left-wing hippocrisy?

Even Steven

About the same numbers of people are watching ViewTube as the BierBC, the ratings counter Barb has found. That’s the number of people who watch something for at least 3 consecutive minutes per month.
    Which sounds like about the time needed to decide that something is rubbish and can be switched off.

Today’s connection

1. To the pure, all things are pure.
2. To the deluded, reality has no connection.

An abuse nudged but not dented

The police are claiming a big success for their campaign to arrest migrants who are working illegally. Alas, their deportations amount to just 3.7% of current small boat arrivals under a government which ain’t bovvered about the invasion.

Another mystery

Freemasons are aghast that the bosses of the Metropolitan Police have made them a declarable institution. No more favours for those who can do a funny handshake? Unless the judicial review goes in the Masons’ favour.
p.s. The first thing I thought on seeing a picture of a cup of frothy coffee with a Masonic symbol stencilled on it was: “Is that the Loch Ness Monster?” The shape in the diamond-shaped frame sure looks like it!

Sadly delusional

The Business Sec., A. Turkey, has been enrolled in the International Bedwetters League after claiming that this High Street-wrecking government’s priority is to make sure businesses can thrive and flourish, and that our High Streets are full of life.
    She failed to add that as no one in government has ever held a proper job, Smarmer’s Army has no idea how to do this.

Just silence

The reason why the luvvie Left are ignoring the carnage in Iran has been revealed. Luvvies are focussed only on microagressions such as wolf whistles and hurty stuff on the interweb. They are unable to deal with macroagression involving the slaughter of hundreds of people by one of ‘their’ regimes.
    It’s Islamofetishism in the round; coupled with the fact that only Palestinians count, as far as luvvies are concerned.

Plotting pratfall

What do you do with a saboteur? Conservative leader K. Badenuff booted her leadership rival out of the Shadow Cabinet and into touch when his plan to do the dirty on her was uncovered.
    Now that the snackstabber Jenrick has defected to Reform UK, will he be welcome if Mr. Farage from the garage keeps having to look over his shoulder for a knife sneaking up to stab him in the back as a preliminary to a takeover?

Lawyer locked

Serbia Smarmer is getting a booting for not leaping to support the protesters against Islamic fascism in Iran. He is said to be scared to do anything in case the protesters are violating some obscure and discredited clause in international law.

Bias to the very borders

A Grauniad columnist is getting a booting for claiming that an of colour contestant being voted off a TV game show is evidence that the UK is hopelessly rachelist. White contestants being voted off a show proves nothing, according to the same source.

Just give us 17%

An online charity fundraiser is under scrutiny by the regulator for casually sticking a donation to itself onto donations to other charities and making it difficult to avoid paying the extra. Which is additional to credit card costs and a chunk of cash recovered from the target charity to which the donation is made.

Spooky!

Everything is going ghost. As well as ghost number plates, which evade fine-seeking cameras, we have ghost cannabis suppliers, who dish out super-strong products to the anxious. For a suitable fee. With those on benefits getting 20% off. And the police can’t do anything about cannabis possession if it’s medical even though cannabis abuse is swamping the NHS with extra customers.

Unreal world

Bier Smarmer assuming that people will want to be in a pub at 2 a.m. is just confirming that he doesn’t know that everyone else gets up long before lunchtime, unlike MPs.
    That’s MPs who have bars subsidized by the taxpayer to save them from having to pay their own way.
    Smarmer is also so out of touch that he hasn’t grasped that staffing and running costs make keeping a pub open to such an ungodly hour destroys profitability.

Clarity needed

If X-witter’s A.I pornobot can no longer deep fake real people, where does that leave the likes of Bier Smarmer, who can’t possibly be a real person.

Addictive, switch off

Well, well! Vast numbers of young people, I read, are upset by the ‘enshittification’ [great word!] of their lives by ravenous anti-social meeja.
    If they are now ignoring this distraction from real life, maybe there’s hope for some of them.

You too, buster

Maybe someone needs to mention to Serbia Smarmer the next time he does his ‘Tory Chaos’ rant that his lot have created much more chaos in just 14 months than the Tories managed in 14 years. And that was with Trivial Democrap help from the likes of Eddy Gravy, the Post Office minister who let Horizon Happen.

Stationary Tier

What comfort can Greenland’s native Esquimaux take from Bier Smarmer’s declaration that he stands with Denmark over their future?
    Not that much if the ‘standing with’ involves just standing and doing nothing and looking like the chump he is. Not enuff hot air to melt a single snowflake.

Otherwise engaged

Am I going to watch a 2-part miniseries about toppled BierBC icon Huv Edwards? Nah. Never watched him when he was the most important person in the universe.
    No point in starting now.

Thirsty time

Water companies in the south-east and south-west of England are giving their customers an involuntary Dry January. No water out of the taps, lots of alibis, blame it on burst pipes.

More A.I fiction

A fantasy generated by Gooble’s A.I is being offered as the reason why the West Midlands police banned Israeli football fans from a match at Aston Villa last year.
    The real reason for the ban was the local Moslems plotting to attack the visitors. But the police covered that up. To help Labour to retain the Moslem vote?
    Pity the police didn’t use the Musk X-witter A.I system. They might have got a bit suspicious when it coughed up pix of naked football fans.
p.s. It’s not just X-witter than can do deepfake porn. Gooble’s A.I and others also can do it on demand.

Citizens’ Revolt

U-turn No. 13 for Bier Smarmer was on compulsory digital I.Ds for a job. Okay for migrants but not something Brits with a National Insurance number and an NHS number need.
    This Smzrmer notion is another H2S – lotz of our money thrown at something that was never going to work. £1.8 billion down the drain.
    Place your bets on what will be the next on the Kier today, gone tomorrow list.

Dictatorship in Action

11,000 arrests of protesters in Iran, with executions ‘because they can’ to follow. 12,000 bodies in the streets or died of injuries in a hospital. Morgues full.

Another tax tier

U-turn No. 12; Labour has decided to kill off fewer pubs with tax rises. No details of the concessions are on offer for how and when. The rest of the hospitality industry can go to Hell?
    Celebs in the industry who leapt up to back Labour in 2024 are now getting laughed at when they complain about 100-150% rises in taxes on their business due to the rates going up and up with nothing extra in the way of services on offer.

Sounds like fun. Not.

Mongolia is hoping to boost tourism by offering masochists a chance to pretend they’re on Mars. For £4,500, they’ll be able to spend a month in buildings in the Gobi desert, eating freeze-dried foods and enjoying freezing nights. That’s after they’ve done a 3-month virtual training course.

Off to wreck something else

No wonder Edstone Milipede wants to be Chancellor. His Nett Zero scam is in ruins with gas consumption rising. Occasionals are not getting the job done and nuclear electricity is on the wane thanks to the failure of successive governments to replace reactors approaching the end of their working life.

Active tourism

Scotland is offering a form of virtual Roman tourism for sites between Hadrian’s Wall and the Antonine Wall. The Romans were here for just 20 years before letting the barbarians have it back.
    A walking route with remains along the former Antonine Wall goes from Bo’ness in the east to Bearsden in Glasgow. There’s not much left to see after the bath house there.

Pay more attention

Iran’s boss, the Ayatollah Bunchacommies, needs to realize that his country doesn’t have N-emies, it has A-to-Z-emies.

‘Experts’ booted

No surprise that the wheels have come off the government’s Eatwell Guide. Another lot of experts has taken a close look at its content and condemned it for promoting sugary and starchy foods which promote type 2 diabetes.
    Worse, the Guide’s recommendations are being booted for not  having received proper scrutiny by independent experts, for being biased and for not being evidence based.
    Sounds like a typical snivel service offering.

Not a business haven

Bad news for President Trump, who wants oil companies to hurl billions of bucks at Venezuela’s oil industry. The company bosses are telling him no way whilst the same gang of criminals and drug dealers is still running the country into the ground.

Woke and a joke

A District Judge has been hauled up before the Judicial Conduct Investigation Office and forced to apologize for mentioning sugar plantations during a trial of a bloke who was carrying a machete around in Sheffield.
    If that constitutes misconduct, then the JCIO is just not fit for purpose.

Self-Repair?

Research in Scotland has found that coastal erosion had diluted the sand of beaches significantly with human-sourced materials; up to 50% in some cases. Which raises the possibility that when the industrial sites have been eroded away completely, beaches will return to their former natural condition. Maybe in a couple of centuries?

Today’s Question

Does Marsman Musk really think everyone has a ‘’uman bluddy right to use one of his A.I gadgets to turn any image into something pornographic? Or is he just being awkward?
    Whatever, only those who pay to use Xwitter can access the pornbot now.

Educational decay

A survey has found that only one-half of the adult population read at least one single book in a whole year. The rest are too busy messing around on rubbish anti-social meeja websites and lose all the de-stressing benefits of reading.
    Worse, they are subjected to constrant stressing wind-ups by the nasty bastards of the WWW.

Just idle chatter

Reform UK reckon they can boot the Sadgeek out of the job he’s been making a bog of in London. Great? Not if it won’t happen until 2028.

Education!!

‘How to eat LESS & enjoy it More By a top nutritionist’ the teaser read. Wow! Who knew that tops need nutritionists!

Quantity cancels Quality

What diversity is all about really, the Commish of the Met has been forced to admit, is recruiting dangerous criminals despite obvious objections to build up the number of ethnic minority coppers and increase the Met’s funding. And if they turn out to be rapists and/or killers, tough.

Good deal

Venezuela is to turn over 50 million barrels of its gloopy, thick oil to the US to pay for the incarceration of the alleged drug baron and usurper Madero.

Quiet, please

No internet in Iran with riots going on all over the place about the cost of living. Maybe that’s what Minneapolis needs in the wake of a fatal shooting by an Immigration officer.
    We have politicians lying and agitating, like they do, and self-styled experts making stuff up and idiots spoiling for a fight after believing it.
    An age of non-communication would be a blessing.
p.s. The dead woman wasn’t of colour and no one is expecting White Lives Matter agitaters to take to the streets world-wide in echo of the campaign after the death of the criminal G. Floyd. And Bier Smarmer and his gang won’t be taking a knee.

Lest we forget

We have a government which is happy to let a killer’s lawyers stroll off with a quarter of a million quid of our money after getting their client £7,500 for hurt feelings in gaol, where he belongs.
    Smarmer’s Army, it has demonstrated, is just a Coalition of the Feckless, who don’t give a feck about anything that doesn’t shove cash or freebies into their pockets.

Zero Brainer

“How is Trump different from Put’n?” some clown was asking. Okay, how many Venuzelans has he killed? What percentage of the country has been destroyed with drone and missile attacke? And how much of the country has been occupied?

Total Insanity

Edstone Milipede as the next Fantasist of the Exchequer? That’s nearly as daft as . . . well, Bier Smarmer as Prime Monster.

Don’t hold your breath

Ofcom is investigating Xwitter’s pornobot to find out if it has broken the online safety law with its lewd pix, which could result in a fine of 10% of Xwitter’s earnings.
    Maybe something will be heard from Ofcom by about 2028. Or not.

NBG

The big let-down of the NFL’s Wild Card Saturday has to be Green Bay. Their offence didn’t show up in the second half against the Bears and their kicker was a disaster area.

An alibi of sorts

What do we make of the assurance from the Mandelsleaze that he didn’t see any young girls around when he was having hobnobs with the late Mr. Epstein? That it was always about the money?

Words, words

Bier Smarmer, now officially the most useless PM of all time, is promising to put boots on the ground in Ukraine if Put’n the Poisoner’s puppeteers let him call off the assault on a neighbour.
    No details are on offer about how many boots or whether they will have any Britisch feet in them.
    Even worse, Labour has run the Armed Forces down so much that we would struggle to keep the boots in Ukraine for much more than about 10 minutes.

’Uman rights violation!

The proposed new drink-driving limit has got the usual suspects up in arms for being discriminatory. Women and small men can be put over the new limit by the amount of alcohol in a single pint of beer.

A sort of response

The MoT vehicle test is to be modified to spot ‘ghost’ number plates, which can’t be read by fine-grabbing automatic number plate recognition cameras.
    Quite how those who swap the ghost plate for a legitimate one before the test will be inconvenienced has not been revealed.

Copy-criminal

The real reason why POTUS Trump stuck Pres. Maduro’s ass in gaol has been revealed. The illegitimate Venezuelan honcho embarrassed him by doing bad imitations of Trump’s fist-pump dance number.

Still not sold

The worst advert in the world has to be the one with people with an upside down gobby mouth in their forehead. Why some brain-dead moron has chosen to revive it, Gord only knows.

Tiers everywhere

‘What will be the penalty inflicted on Trump for breaking international law?’ someone was asking. Same penalty inflicted on Put’n and Ne10yahoo, was the answer; i.e. nothing.

Would go with a bang!

A Daily Disaster reader came up with an excellent idea for a show for the TV channel obsessed with celebrity versions of its output: Celebrity Bomb Disposal. I’d watch that, especially if there were a Joker Element.

Mass yo-yo

A survey of people who used the weight loss jabs Monjo and Wegover found that they were liable to regain their original bulk in a couple of years after ending the jab treatment. So not much of a lasting solution for some if they stop. But a constant earner for the companies that make the jabs.

Not even close to justice

What do you get if you claim online in a persistent propaganda campaign that the wife of the president of France was born male?
    Away with it via suspended sentences, for the Gang of Ten.

Filth is okay

Marsman Musk is getting a booting because his A.I gadget is turning out indecent images of people who dare to post pictures online, contrary to the Online Safety Act.
    Mr. Musk claims that the Act amounts to suppression of the people. By depriving them of their ’uman bluddy right to put indecent deepfakes on display?

The Milipede Myth

Are we in an occasionals energy revolution? Not if wind and solar provided just 6% of the world’s energy in 2024. Not if the world builds more gas-generated power sources than solar and more coal-fired power stations than wind farms.
    Not if Venezuela’s oil could be used to depose a crooked president.

Fail

Bier Smarmer’s economic reset has raised the cost of living instead of lowering it. No one surprised that his pledge to make people feel the difference in their pockets has given all but scroungers emptier pockets.

Housing swindle

Smarmer’s Army is failing to build enough houses to keep pace with the rate of immigration which is being allowed, a count has revealed. Worse, migrants are getting priority from local councils over the native British people who pay for council housing.

Universe parallel

‘What is the Universe expanding into?’ a Daily Disaster reader asked. One explanation is that it creates its own space using the energy of the expansion process and expands into that. Until it runs out of puff and gravity takes over and everything collapses in a Big Crunch.
    Rather like the national debt under a Labour government, which expands until there are no more suckers willing to fund it, then the whole thing collapses.

Schmeducation

The Taxpayers’ Alliance has found thst 27,000 students went in for Blairite Mickey Mouse degrees over the last 4 years. The universities offering the courses copped for taxpayers’ dosh and the students copped for loans which will never be repaid.

She power

The latest twist to the Venezuela Saga is that Mr. Maduro was just a stooge and his clever wife and her family were in charge of everything. Which means what? That he ends dumped among the homeless population of Caracas and she ends up in a luxury gaol in the Untied States?

Surprise!

A bloke who retrieved discarded sausage rolls from a waste bin so they could be served to first class passengers on an LNER train wasn’t wrongfully dismissed, a tribunal has ruled.
    A trade union attempt to play the disability card also flopped.

Failure flailing

Bier Smarmer is prepared to betray Brexit even further if it will damage the national interest. That’s the national interest which he claims will be wrecked if he’s booted out of his sinecure as the Prime Fantasist.
    “Dump me and get Farage,” he is yelling. 

No contest

Would not condemning President Trump’s kidnapping of the dictater of Venezuela ‘haunt’ Bier Smarmer’s legacy, as his really looney Left MPs are claiming? Any legacy Bier leaves will be so tainted and catastrophic that it will have to be buried in a deep, dark hole in Labour’s consciousness.
    So, no.

Familiar Story

The owners of Brighton Pier are trying to unload it after the Reeves tax & waste budgets pulled the plug on a once profitable enterprise.

Same old Tiers

After doing the dirty on soldiers who had to tackle IRA killers, our wonderful Labour government is set to do the same for police officers who served in Northern Ireland.
    Meanwhile, IRA killers are to be continued to be allowed to get away with it, following the policy established by tony b. liar.
    We are told that the government commitment to those who served in Northern Ireland is ‘unshakeable’. That’s unshakeably determined to stitch them up, according to the evidence.

File under ‘B’ for boneheaded

You’re a vicious killer who is doing a life sentence for a double murder. You claim being put in solitary in gaol made you really very depressed. What do you get? The Justice Sec., Dippy Dave, handed £7,500 compenbluddysation for his hurt feelings and stuffed £234,000 of our cash into the pockets of the legal trade.

Sell out

The government has bought off the strike by juvenile doctors in Scotland with 20% more pay over 2 years rather than 30%. Same deal south of the border to follow?

Okay, that works

The success of the POTUS Trump snatch of the Venezuelan gerrymanderer is being offered as proof that Bier Smarmer had no part in it.

We knew, we knew

Is it news that the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament and Labour MPs were working with Communist regimes against the Thatcher government in the 1980s, as revealed by declassified Cold War files? Nah. Everyone with more than 2 working brain cells knew that the Labour lot and the CND were Soviet-paid useful idiots back then.

Islands of Irrelevance

A former member of the Starmer backstage crew has blown the gaff on the crowd. Smarmer’s [Iran-style] Revolutionary Guard Corpse (SRGC), including Bier, are obsessed with trivial ishues which are irrelevant to the voters.
    Which is why all of the SRGC, Bier included, are always prepared to cheer for the scum of the Earth, no matter how anti-British, including our latest unwanted import from Egypt and the Bride of ISIS.

More tripe

Dippy Dave, the alleged Justice Sec., wants to put 16-year-old magistrates in courts as part of his response to the crisis of the law’s delays.

Still disconnected

Still no snow, no 100 mph winds from Storm Grotter. Pat on the back for me for living somewhere that doesn’t cop for the worst of the weather. Although, -2 deg.C tonight doesn’t sound like much fun!

Below bog standard?

If the basement bar of a joint at of a Swiss resort with only one staircase exit met all the safety standards required by the inspectors, what use are they if the place can burn out with dozens of deaths and scores of terrible injuries
    Looks like, if there are manslaughter charges flying around, more than the club’s operators should face them.

Gone for good

Reform UK is planning to give the prison building and staffing industries a boost with a plan for locking up child rapists and grooming gang members for life with no hope of parole.

Oppression as usual

No surprise that Venezuela’s newly promoted deputy has set the country’s secret police after her opponents based on bogus claims that they helped with the Maduro abduction. Journalists are prime targets.
    Meanwhile, Bier Smarmer is so unbovvered about what’s going on in Venezuela that he sent Pixie Balls to the Commons to waffle on his behalf, not feeling like turning up himself.

More Tiers

The UN, which described the Maduro presidency as illegitimate after he cancelled Venezuela’s opposition to rig his election, got a good booting for moaning about his removal.
● A poll conducted here found a 50:50 split between disapproval and approval/don’t care.

Desperate for cash?

If you live in the area ‘served’ by Nottingham City Council, beware. A non-smoking resident was issued with a fine for tossing a cigarette end out of his car. When he was over 400 miles away on holiday in France and his car was immobilized at his home. No explanation was on offer from the council.

Short changed

193 small boat illegals have been exported to France under the Smarmer on in, one out scam. 195 new migrants have been sent here by the Frogs.
    Funny how the ‘near enough’ always goes against us when the E bluddy U is involved.
p.s. That’s 193 out and 41,472 who arrived here in 2025. Sick joke, or what! Or just typical Smarmer.

Cynics’ Corner

We are told that the new chickenpox vaccine safety net for kids whose parents avoid GPs could save the NHS £15 million/year in treatment costs for kids who get a bad dose.
    But those with experience of the snivel service will be amazed if there is any gain. One just has to look at the way ‘special needs’ has been broadened from severe cases into even the mildly afflicted.
    ‘Save’ and the public sector just don’t go together.

The voice of iggorance

Why would a ‘firebrand’ fellow Corbynsteiner MP claim Bier Smarmer can’t pick and choose which parts of international law he believes in?
    The burning accuser clearly hasn’t been paying attention if he doesn’t know Two Tier Bier’s history. And wheeling out Diane Abbott just underlines the meeja’s desperation for a ludicrous Left quote.

Total disconnect

I look out the window and see no snow, trees not moving and a hint of blue sky among the clouds. Meanwhile, the lunchtime BierBC news is going on about Storm Grotter bringing buckets of snow and 100 mph winds.

Danger in the community

The Scottish government has come up with a scheme to throw a lot of taxpayers’ cash at the private sector; tagging for victims of crime as well as perpetrators.
    People at risk from criminals let out of gaol by Labour’s looney policies will receive a tag from a private monitoring firm as well as the bad guy in an attempt to steer them away from danger if the BG gets too close.

Evil or just lazy

Is it reasonable for Smarmer & Co. to claim that they had no idea what a poisonous character our unwanted Egyptian export Fattah is? Only if they accept it’s proof that they jump onto a bandwagon without knowing what it’s all about because they’re not inclined to make the effort.

Brain-dead

Edstone Milipede’s latest piece of lunacy is a £30 tax on people with a gas boiler to give subsidies to people installing a heat pump. Which uses electricity costing four times as much as gas and needs a £7,000 contribution from the mug who goes for the scam.
    Volatile international gas prices are Milipede’s alibi. Caused by his ban on exploiting oil and gas under the North Sea and shale gas. But we’re not supposed to notice that. Or that gas prices charged by the main producers will fall next year.

Early Days

Crumbs! The Schmuck from U.N.C.L.E. started off in black & white, I found when watching another re-run. How very cheapskate they were in MCMLXIV.
    The Russian bloke was very much an extra initially, appearing for just in the first few minutes.

Counter-social

Labour’s taxes closed a leap year’s worth of pubs; 366 of them; in 2025. More are expected to go in 2026, given the government sticking with its anti-employment legislation and tax policies.

State surveillance creep

Our dodgy government is frantically denying that it has been considering microchipping newborn babies as part of its digital I.D control-freak scam.

In Aberdeen, maybe, but not here

Yesterday, under threat of a deep freeze running to and past the coming weekend, I looked out a pair of clunky snow boots to be ready for trips to shops today. So what happened? A deluge of rain yesterday, which wiped away all the snow, leaving just a few liquid puddles to negotiate today.
    I am now left thinking the Met Office must be as full of fantasists as the looney Left gang in the Treasury.

Off target

Dry weather is getting the blame for 27,000 outdoor fires during last year’s spring and summer. How strange that the blame for most of them isn’t landing on careless humans, where it belongs.

More trade union intransigence

Rubbish dump Birmingham [broke, Labour council] ain’t celebrating a year of strikes by their grabbing bin persons. No end is in sight. Somewhere for Mr. Trump to take over?

Hands off, you rotter

Some of the Europeon members of NATO have felt the need to warn POTUS Trump about trying a Put’n and invading Greenland. Is it time to play the dementia card, which Trump was always waving at Creaky Joe Biden?

Quantities

Q: How much soup do you get in a tin labelled 400ge?
A: 380 grammes of soup in 40 grammes of tin.

Tripe

You can tell how desperate the Met Office is for temperature records from the latest claim. 2025 beat 2022, the previous hottest year, with an average temperature of 10.09 deg.C compared to 10.03 deg.C, or just 0.06 deg.C. Which lies well within the experimental error of the measurements and the fiddle factors.

Her ignorance, no bliss

The Fantasist of the Exchequer got a good booting for trtying to claim that the FTSE stock exchange index crossing 10,000 was down to her assaults on the British economy.
    She was swiftly labelled delusional and told that FTSE companies trade wold-wide, not just here.

Won’t happen

An end-of-year survey has found an approval ration of just 12% for Serbia Smarmer’s performance. The main criticism is that he has promised a lot more than he had any hope of delivering and his failures are getting in the way of doing what should be doable.
    Predictably, Smarmer was promising even more in his end-of-year message to the meeja.

Needs to be done NOW!

What the government needs to do is educate people about what constitutes an emergency needing a trip to an A&E department. Hiccups, headaches, tummy aches, sore throats and the like just waste scarce resources.
    Not that it’s likely to happen with a Labour government which is totally UseLEZ.

Spread the word!

Those who persist in making new year resolutions are being advised by experts to tell other people about them. This will ensure that they are constantly reminded of their good intentions and back-sliding will be reduced.
    And, no doubt, the people being chivvied by well-meaning (or not) others will soon be complaining about damage to their mental bluddy ’elf.

No real surprise

An outfit supported by the world’s leading drinks companies has come up with an expert who thinks Dry January is a Bad Thing. It encourages binge drinking instead of moderate, sustainable habits!

Well, maybe

President Maduro of Venezuela first. Put’n next? Then . . . Bier Smarmer?
    Only in a perfect world.

Crimemongers

Labour’s scramble for the criminal vote is set to unleash a record crime wave. Cancelling shorter prison sentences will double the previous guess for the extra cost of policing. The Home Office has doubled the number from £400 million to £800 million.
    That’s £800 million that the nation’s police forces don’t have tucked down the back of the sofa, which means yet more tax rises to pay for it.
    That’s £800 million on top of the £700 million that it will cost to put tags on criminals in the community.

Not much cop

What does it say about the quality of current pop music if 60% of the people in a survey would rather have A.I pastiches of the work of dead 20th century popsters?
    A definite lack of knees here!

Today’s Concept

“If bees were used as a quality rating for XXX, then the lack of knees would do it no favours.”
    Something particularly applicable to politicians.

Worser & Worser

Our wonderful government has got the wait to see a GP up to more than a month in some areas. Which is pretty tough on anyone needing urgent treatment. Things are particularly bad in the South-West of England.

Forget the past

It’s amazing what you can do if you’re the president of the Untied States. Take over a South American country? No bother. Kidnap the president and put him on trial in the US? Also no bother.
    All a distraction from the state of affairs in Gaza (bother) and Ukraine (bother)? Both of which were guaranteed a peace deal but didn’t get it.

Not news

There was a Big Bang and the universe was formed and began to expand. Decades ago, it was predicted that the expansion would stop, gravity would win and there would be a Big Crunch when everything smacked back together again.
    No, no, said some experts back then. And they’re saying it again in a dispute with the dark energy fans. Which just confirms Arthur C. Clarke’s Fourth Law: For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert.

Not buying it

Them there experts are at it again – this time, claiming that a room temperature of 17 deg.C is optimal for the human body and anything higher increases stress levels.
    A quick poll at the Mansion picked 20 deg.C as the lower limit for comfort. Which makes the ‘expert’ opinion sound very much like an alibi for an incompetent government that is making home heating unaffordable for a lot of the customers through the lunatic Milipede obsession with pointless Nett Zero.

How dull

I don’t think much of the cold weather. We had a dusting of what looked like small grains of hail rather than snowflakes earlier, but they don’t look like lingering too long.
    Even so, I am feeling a lack of energy and enthusiasm; as if my get up and go has got up and gone.

Cunning plan

Reform UK is planning to use the appalling Sadgeek mayor’s terrible record in every area as a main plank in a campaign to become established in the capital in May. Zero tolerance of all crimes, which was shown to work in New York, will also be on the menu.

Throat cut

Labour’s Energy Profits Levy, part of the Edstone Milipede Nett Zero scam, has stopped drilling for new supplies of oil and gas in the North Sea in its tracks and created a £16 BILLION Brown Hole in the Fantasist’s accounts.
    Which means yet more tax rises.
    With nothing useful to show for them.

Enforced switch

Our incompetent Chancellor has shifted the alibi for doing a Dry January. It’s no longer about becoming healthy. It’s now about avoiding impoverishment by paying tax on overpriced drink.

New year plea

When President Trump has finished with the corrupt regime in Venezuela, could he please come over here and sort out our corrupt regime?

Poor me

Put’n the poisoner made a peculiarly pathetic attempt to play the victim card at the end of the year. He claimed that the rotten Ukrainians had launched a totally unprovoked drone attack on one of his purloined palaces.
    His big problem is that he has no more credibility than Serbia Smarmer and there is no evidence of the attack. Other than some bits produced by the KGB’s successor, which could have come from anywhere.

Multiple write-offs

Saudi Arabia is in line for a Killpeople Award in recognition of an increase to record levels of official executions, which are no longer done in public to frustrate those who like to put videos of them on the interweb.
    They are now done in prisons; or, in the case of the likes of J. Khashoggi in 2018, by dismemberment in a foreign consulate.

Timbers Shivered

What’s the scare story for the New Year? That America under Trump is turning its back on Europe.
    As well as having a dishonest and incompetent leadership here, we shall soon be at the mercy of the ragbag of EU leaders, which includes a number in the pocket of Put’nstan and armed with the power of veto.
    Mr. Trump is too busy with bringing down the evil regimes in Cuba and Venezuela to be bothered with Europe.

Woke hypersaturation

The  management of The Pension Regulator quango has been swindling the taxpayer by diverting staff from their jobs with 225 diversity day events per year. Exposure of this abuse led to a trimming to three dozen virtue-signalling episodes in a year.
    No danger of any sackings at the top, though. We do have a Labour government with a cash-wasting agenda.

Utterly miserable

London’s Sadgeek mayor got a good booting for blocking off Primrose Hill with huge screens to prevent the locals from watching the new year fireworks from their local park.
    The Geek also had the park closed at 8 p.m. on new year’s eve until 6 p.m. the next day.

Legal ghosts

Further to the ghost number plate ishue; it’s possible to buy them from a supplier registered with the DVLA quango. That’s from an outfit which won’t check whether the purchaser is the registered owner of the car to which the plate belongs.
    Anyone can become an official number plate supplier by making a one-off payment of 40 quid, the Daily Mail found. And no check for a criminal record is made as the DVLA ain’t bovvered; despite some BS from a spokes.

Dosh for the drain

To no one’s surprise, our current Fantasist of the Exchequer has raised the tax burden by the greatest amount ever. By grabbing £75.1 BILLION/year more, Thievin has outstripped her idol, Gordon F. Broon and hauled in nearly 50% more than the ‘snackstabber’ Sunak, who had the real crisis of a pandemic from China to deal with.

TV makes you fat

Well, what a surprise! A survey has found that people do more snacking when parked watching TV than when they have their hands occupied with messing about with a phone. Who’da thunk it?

They’re at it again

The Imperial War Museum is getting a booting for claiming that World War II was won by soldiers in frocks and Land Girls pretending to be blokes. And that the agenda behind the advances in surgery to repair injuries received in the two world wars was really preparation for sex-swap operations. Yet another attempt to rewrite history by useless wonks.

Hysteria disbelieved

We keep being told how terribly cold it’s become and things are getting worse. On the contrary, it has been much the same all week here; cold, yes, but not noticeably colder as the end of the week approaches.

Just tough

In the wake of the impending ban on trail hunting, one of them there has studies found that 35% of their respondents thinks Smarmer’s Army isn’t neglecting the countryside or even actively engaged in trying to destroy rural life.
    No figures were on offer for how many of the ‘don’t cares’ are townies.

Another thing

There were a lot fewer bangs and crashes and whizzes than usual last night to wake up those who hadn’t bothered to stay up until midnight.
    The usual suspect firework fanatics feeling the pinch and not seeing 2026 as having much worth celebrating?

Getting starting problems

Is a new year off to a bad start if you feel you’ve used up a week’s supply of the f-word during the morning of the first day? Or is it just that your expectation of the co-operation you’re entitled to receive from inanimate objects is set too high?

Sense absent

If six people were injured and the police arrested the bloke who clobbered them with an iron bar in a hospital A&E dept., then calling it an ‘alleged’ attack is an abuse of common sense and the facts. An obvious abuse. So why do it?

VFM for coppers

Police forces are becoming alarmed by a campaign to impose payment by results on them. This comes in the wake of a report that in the year to June, 5.3 million crimes were logged in England and Wales but a suspect was charged for just 7.6% of them.
    That’s charged, not convicted. Which is leading to questions being asked about the value for money offered by the Can’t Prosecute Service.
    Worse for the police, it has been suggested that logged non-crime, non-events should be deducted from the record of useful work done.