Messages from the Madhouse

I’m considering framing last Saturday’s paper as it contains such an array of contemporary weirdness. There’s the March on Moscow that petered out into a diversion to Belarus.
    There’s the story of the nutter who killed a custody officer in a police station because the coppers who arrested him didn’t search him and find the gun he had in his pocket.
    There’s the weird woman who pretended to be a bloke and kept her clothes on, including a hoodie, when she got a girlfriend into bed with her.
    There’s the Labour mental health spokesperson who thinks the NHS should be open to foreigners for free and who’s obviously a mental health case herself.
    All human life is there, as the News of the World used to tell us, I am told.