Today’s Observations

1. A Downing Street spokes denied that Bier is planning as new class war, confirming that this will be his next move.
2. Bier’s claim to be the only working class PM in the history of the Universe has been mocked by those who remember Ted Heath and John Major.
3. “It should be our mission to ensure that persons deserving only of contempt receive it in abundance.”
4. Labour’s abuse of the economy is having the same effect on small businesses as the Chinese plague – without all the inconvenience of all the illness.

Edstone’s Aim

Milipede has proclaimed: “We are a government whose central purpose is to stand up for the powerless not the powerful.”
    How’s he going to do this?
    By making power so expensive that everyone will end up unable to afford it and therefore powerless and at the mercy of the government.
    You Have Been Warned!!

Here’s hating you!

The RSPCA branch in Altrincham came up with a cute fund-raiser for its campaign to neuter a colony of feral cats at Barton. Pay £10 to name a cat after a love-rat ex-partner as a Valentine’s Day gesture before the animal is snipped and released.

Bier bashed more

This time, it’s for giving a peerage to a backroom bandit who was pally with an ex-Labour councillor and paedophile.

A fair, if lengthy, question

Does focussing on Petie Mandelsleaze-Darkness, or Petie MD as he’s known for short, and Prince Andrew whilst ignoring the crowds of individuals who make up the many grooming gangs have anything to do with Labour’s history of not interfering with the gangs to retain the Moslem vote and not wanting to smash gangs of any description?

Downs as well as ups

There seems to be a growing industry aimed at charting the side effects of fat jabs. Is there a part of the human body they don’t affect? Don’t count on it. One disaster swapped for another is where we’re going.

Weasels on the prowl

Could it be that the House of Windsor is not offering the grovelling apology demanded by the attention-seekers for a good reason?
    There’s nothing like hearing the word ‘sorry’ for getting the ambulance-chasers revving their motors for compenbluddysation in huge amounts; from which they will skim a majority.

More could & maybe

Drinking 2-3 cups of coffee per day may maybe might ward off dementia, the experts reckon. Or not. Tea is also as good (or not) as it also contains caffeine.

Eye on the future

The Met Office now has a super-duper computer which it claims can be used to warn airlines of disruptions due to fog and bad weather 2 weeks in advance.
    Weather events likely to disrupt travel on the ground will be spotted earlier, and local forecasts for the following 14 days will be on offer.

Smarmerism Clarified

1. Claim you’re not a politician and ignore questions like: “Why are you posing as one, then?”
2. Recruit people to tell you what you should say and pretend to believe in, such as the sacked Mr. McSweety and the 4 directors of communication who got the boot over the last year.
3. If what you’re told is rubbish, it’s the fault of the briefing crew, not the bloke who picked them.
4. Feel free to lie your head off even after establishing a reputation for dishonesty.
5. Try not to look too smug when a bungler like Scottish Labour leader Anass Aahwaa tries to topple you and fails miserably.

Something desperately needed

What we need is a new law about vexatiously demanding an apology from someone who did not commit the ALLEGED crimes of another person or their or someone else’s ancestors.
    A penalty of £10,000 for each count of vexation would be a good start, with a requirement to pay ALL legal costs after conviction. And a bigger penalty if the vexation continues.

Robot’s Revenge?

What we’d like to know is why HMRC is dragging its feet over whether Angrier Robot’s failure to pay £40K tax on her £800K seaside holiday home is a crime.
    Could the Mandarins be worried about the effect on their careers if they do their job honestly and Labour still makes her the party’s leader?

Just another fantasy

“Every fight I’ve been in, I’ve won,” claimed our PM. What about the one to frame entertainers and Tory politicians for child abuse and murder when he was Dir. of Public Prostitutions?
    More dishonesty from a bloke who’s made a career out of it. And cutting excessive welfare payments to Labour voters, Bier? What about that one?

Twice as worse

Bier Smarmer is importing illegals at twice the rate experienced during the Tory years with President Boris and the Snackstabber in charge.
    Bier’s world record was given a boost by his decision to waste the best part of a billion quid of our money on cancelling the Rwanda export plan with nothing as effective on offer.
    Bier’s flagship one in, one out, one back scam with the French has been assessed and found to be having Nett Zero impact.

Bum-biter

As people get fed up with the Mandelsleaze and Andrew Mwah bombardment, some of them are starting to notice the ishues about which the government is doing bugger all. Such as the grooming gangs, which have to be ignored to protect Labour votes.

No cigar

It seems Jonah Burnham has bogged up the catch phrase he nicked from the Game of Drones TV series. He should be calling himself the Deadleg in the North rather than the Deadleg of the North. Either way, though, he’s still a deadleg.

Bangers are best

Motorists are hanging on to cars for longer, a survey by the AA has found. They’re doing it to avoid a government road tax scam, which was introduced for vehicles registered after April 2017. One-third of cars in circulation are now over a decade old.

Get lost!

A vexatious litigant, who has won just one of 60-70 claims seeking compenbluddysation for discrimination, has been banned from continuing with his racket. Which means he’ll need to find another career.
    Even though he had a solitary win, he has been paid thousands of pounds to buy him off as a cheaper alternative for a firm being dragged to a tribunal to waste time and money on a hopeless case brought by Mr. Vexatious.

Wet to the point of saturation

This year is setting records for getting rain on every day and monster floods. And there’s more rain to come as February progresses. No satisfactory explanation for all this wetness is on offer yet. New lie or a recycled one? Maybe that’s the problem.

More of it

Another Daily Disaster reader was wondering if the Labour MP C. Bryant would be worried that the Mandelsleaze is now a rival for his internet-exhibitionist title Captain Underpants.
    A third DD reader on a particularly good day was wondering if DEFRA would organize diversity days so that middle-class countryside residents could visit ethnic inner-city zones which are irrelevant to their lives.

Milipede fraud exposed

The Department of Energy, source of Edstone Milipede’s BS on Nett Zero, doesn’t use green energy. It uses brown energy from fossil fuels. Milipede’s alibi is that the power is bought by the Crown Commercial Service, which has to deliver value for money, which excludes using Milipede’s overpriced green energy. Which exposes all his claims that Green Is Good as just more Labour Lies.

Judicial Pragmatism

A Daily Disaster reader pointed out that the Cranston inquiry into deaths of small boat invaders made 18 recommendations; none aimed at the criminal gangs, the invaders themselves, the French or the EFU.
    Could that be because Professor Cranston, formerly a judge and a Labour MP, assumed they’d take no bloody notice of his conclusion? But HM Coastguard and the Marine Accident Investigation Branch would have to go through the motions at the very least?

Just a blip

Is Mr. J.B. Zos, the Amazon boss, going to be even mildly concerned about a $20 billion slump in the value of his company’s shares after the A.I bubble burst a bit?
    Nah. Not if what’s left is still worth $180 billion.

Flopperoony

Analysis by the AA has found that 50% of the 16 smart motorways they examined give poor or low value for money. The scam has been a catastrophic waste of time, effort and our money.
    Particularly catastrophic for those who were killed on these motorways when the system broke down. Or didn’t work as advertised from Day One.

Magic money tree wilt

The special educational needs racket is set to leave 70% of local councils insolvent by 2028. As with everything else in the welfare budget, the government is dragging its feet over doing anything useful.

We know, we know

Time is running out for embattled PM said the headline.
    We know, we know, we know ’coz we’ve been told that over and over and over for ages now. How about giving us some actual news instead of this gunk?

Perp plundering

Cynics are wondering if the coppers with body cameras who did over the Mandelsleaze residences with a meeja presence will sneak the stuff back when they find nothing new in the ‘boxes of evidence’ removed for clicking cameras.
    And how much the whole stunt will cost the taxpayer.

Archive Angrier Rayner

When asked if she wanted to move up from deputy to PM, she said: “No chance. It would age me 10 years in 6 months.”
    So just another Labour liar? No one surprised by something like that from the woman who kept yelling: “Tory sleaze!”, and failed to pull off a stamp duty dodge on her £800K seaside holiday home. And who still hasn’t paid the £40K owed because the tax mob are being made to drag their little feet.

Masses of me-too

Amazing, isn’t it. Some film actress recalls a fling with an older male star (now deceased) and the newspaper scribe has her own older bloke story to fill up the majority of her page. No, a whole bunch of flings!

‘Nick’ out of it

The criminal fantasist C. Beech, who bamboozled gullible coppers with tales of a VIP paedophile and murder ring, is out of gaol (see Operation Midland).
    He has been confined for less than half of his 18-year sentence thanks to Labour leniency.
● Former Labour deputy leader T. Watson collected a peerage despite his part in the scandal.

More cluelessness

Repairing the crumbling Palace of Westmonster will take 19 to 24 years and cost £16 billion if MPs, peers and their hangers-on  can be moved elsewhere. Otherwise, with that lot getting in the way, the job won’t be completed until 2087 at the earliest and the bill will top £40 billion.
    The result of the planned changes, according to former MP J. Rees-Mogg, will be something that looks like a tart’s boudoir, not restoration.

Medically misleading

How much can you trust the people in the world of medicine? A review of the side-effects attributed to statins has found that 94% have been bogusly blamed on statins and lotz more people could benefit from them. As well as the manufacturers.

Elfishness no excuse

I was interested to read that Alton Towers has stopped people with ADHD disability cards from jumping the queues for scary rides, and I agree with the observation that it’s weird that people with genuine anxiety who can’t cope with the real world would want to be on one in the first place.

One he got right

It seems President trumPut’n didn’t appreciate the Puerto Rican crap rapper doing his deadly half-time show in Spanish at Bowl of Soup 60. [triple-fast-forward for the Mansion’s recording]
    “One of the worst EVER” was the presidential verdict. Hear, Hear!

Beguilement on demand

What’s a pathetic distraction from a failing government’s sins? How about having a go at the boss of failing Man. Utd. for daring to notice that illegal immigration is out of control?

Money-maker

Following the trumPut’n ramblings about strolling in and taking over Greenland, a Danish bakery is doing good business with a new product; orange ‘moron cakes’.

Another busted flush or two

Wee Streeting is getting the Mandelsleazing treatment. Oh, look at them together in this latest photo! Wee as PM? No way.
    Does that leave the way clear for Angrier Rayner? Or will there be questions asked about how she could afford an £800K seaside second home? That’s questions which never receive a satisfactory answer. Or are made to go away, like what’s happening with the still on-dragging investigation by HMRC of the $40K she tried to dodge paying.
    Are we going to end up with Pixie Balls as a temporary prime monster until Labour can find someone who doesn’t have unfortunate associations and actually knows something about the way the world works?

Conclusion

If Bier Smarmer is a total deadleg, then all the MPs and others who made him their party leady and told us he has more knees than a whole swarm of bees have to be either gullible idiots or lying bastards like Bier himself. Some choice!

No rings, not five!

The Winter Olympics in Italy are continuing despite attempts by violent thugs to sabotage events. Attacks have been made on the transport system infrastructure by attention-seekers with a range of causes including the inevitable global warming swindlers. The police overtime bill will be HUGE.

Make do and mend

One of the consequences of the Labour policy of collapsing the economy is that people are turning to DIY repairs rather than throwing things away and replacing them. Good news for the glue manufacturing firm which did the survey, though.

The way forward

Japan has 9 million unoccupied homes, 14% of the national stock. What we need to do is ship illegals there to make use of an underused resource and to do useful work to keep a people with a shrinking population afloat.

The complete quote

“He betrayed our country, our Parliament and my party,” droned Bier Smarmer. “All of which are my jobs.” Bit this somehow got chopped out of the recording.

Widened Vision

Is it likely that the investigators trying to find out where Mandy got the £8 million used to buy a mansion will broaden their task? We’d all be interested to know how a former shop steward from the poor part of Stockport like Angrier Rayner got £800K to blow on a seaside summer second home. The one she didn’t manage to do the tax swindle on. Well, not quite yet.

Who’s bought Rayner?

If this flawed and uncouth person has a million-pound ‘war chest’, we want to know who tossed cash into it and how many billions of pounds of our money is it going to cost the rest of us to pay off those who have bought her.

Do Blackshirts need to be washed?

An academic with a book on fascism to sell is suggesting that Mr. Farage from the garage is our era’s version of sometime MP Oswald Mosley. In fact, our author can see fascism taking over Europe and America in the next decade!

Crashing the Community

How to stop the Scots from drinking: put the rates on their pubs up by 567%, as happened to one in Glasgow, the Sunday Post told us. That’s not sustainable and the pub is expected to close.
    But will that stop people from drinking? Only in public. They can still do it at home after shop-lifting a couple of bottles of whisky from their local supermarket, knowing the police won’t get in their way.

Another Observation

Q: How can you tell that a picture of the Mandelsleaze in his underpants is a deep fake?
A: The pants are not on fire.

Thugs on the loose

The police in Scotland are getting a booting for ignoring the regular violent attacks on shopkeepers and their staff. The so-called justice system is also in the firing line for failing to treat attacks on the people running shops as seriously as they deserve.

Way off beam

A. Neil of the Daily Disaster needs to get out into real life. Bier Smarmer’s successor ‘could’ be worse? What garbage. ‘Will be infinitely worse and even more of a total disaster’. No question.

Not reassuring

Bier Smarmer is in real trouble if he has to get someone like Gordon F. Broon to tell the BierBC that Smarmer is a really great guy and the freebie-scoffing Bier is a man of integrity.
    Lest we forget, Mr. Broon was an even worse Chancellor than Thievin, who created the blueprint for her tax ‘n’ waste agenda. He’s also the bloke who was too busy trying to use the banks to buy votes for Labour in Scotland to regulate them, and they went bust on his watch after their bosses fell for the sub-prime mortgage scam in the US.

Back at you!

Crossword clue that will bug the hell out of trumPut’n:
    Q: Country bordering Canada (3)
    A: USA

Today’s observation

When confronted with a photo of Prince Andrew (fully clothed) larking about with a female person (also fully clothed), only a lying bastard would claim to find the picture disturbing rather than mildly interesting.
    Sadly, the worlds of polyticks and the meeja seem to be well stocked with them.

Worst possible taste

Suicide statistics show that men are well ahead but women are catching up. Which leaves us wondering when are we going to get the ludicrous Left demanding ethnic proportionality? Or those promoting the transpicater cause joining in?
    There’s always some attention-seeking control-freak with nothing useful to do.

Dark days ahead

Gangster grandson and Mandelsleaze buddy Wee Streeting, failed tax dodger(?) Angrier Rayner, The walking catastrophe Jonah Burnham and the eternally clueless Edstone Milipede. Is there no end to the procession of deadlegs hoping to stab Bier Smarmer in the back and get into No. 10?
    [No. Ed.]

Schmeducation

Wonks in the university business are trying to exchange merit for ethnicity. They want university ratings to be based according to how many non-white people get top degrees and hold top jobs.
● This is part of the control-freak agenda for cancelling the traditional British way of life, which included imposing ethnic quotas on rural areas.

Smarten up!

Old blokes are being ordered to wear a tie by a self-appointed fashion guru. She reckons slobification of male dress needs to be checked and wearing a shirt and tie hides a wrinkly neck.
    Note: So does wearing a jumper with a big roll neck and it’s both smart and more comfortable.

Could be discriminatory

There is always agitation on the Left for an end to the monarchy because the peasants think they might cop for a share of the loot. But not by all of the lefties. Some have royal delusions.
    Which ones? How about ‘the Prince of Darkness’? And the deluded ‘King of the North’?

Simple screening test

Any politician who claims he/she didn’t know the Mandelsleaze was a liability when Smarmer made him our ambassordor to the US is a lying bastard and unworthy of any government job.
    Tests don’t get any simpler than that.

No joy yet

The optiminsts in the business sector’s observation gallery are daring to think a boom in the economy is on the way as entrepreneurs in the private sector come to terms with Labour’s disastrous tax grabs.
    The pessimists are wondering if this will just encourage Labour to grab even more wealth from the people who generate it to hand to their public sector parasites.
    Especially if the boom hopes are buoyed by the A.I bubble, which remains highly likely to go pop.

File under ‘S’ for Smarmer

One of Bier’s nominees for bulking up the House of Frauds with Labourites is an actual one. She has been claiming for decades that she has a Ph.D when she ain’t got one. Something which the vetting process for this Labour party donor failed to detect.
    Another job for the members of the Smarmer Compendium to get on with – claiming, yet again, that Beir is Blameless.

We have the solution!

A survey by a healthy drinks firm has concluded that most young people are too exhausted to do anything much most of the time. Including cooking meals and doing anything other than messing about with a phone.
    Could scoffing more of the drinks be the answer they’re supposed to arrive at?

Don’t buy it

Just how convincing is it for Beir Smarmer to claim that he didn’t know that the wheels would come off if he gave the job of abassodor to the Untied States to someone who was sacked from tony b. liar’s Cabinet twice for abuse of office?
    Either he wasn’t paying attention, which means he’s not fit to be PM, or he’s lying, which he does rather a lot.

He still has his uses

It’s interesting to note that the Mandelsleaze is not completely beyond the pale and he can still be quoted as an trustworthy source by a journalist doing an exposé on the lies and duplicity of Bier Smarmer. You have to be really desperate for someone to slag off Mandy if you have to resort to Baroness Harperson.
    Whatever, it looks like Smarmer will end up doing a Chagos Job on his backroom bloke McSweety before long; when the urgency of the blame shedding operation gets to a state of extreme desperation.

Bowl of Soup 60

That logo is naff and lacking in dignity. Anyhow, in the match, the Squawks kicked a FG to top off the opening drive them made the Patriots go 3 & out. Not much for the highlight reel. Defence was the story of the first half, which included lots of sacks and 2 more FGs from the Squawks.
    Some crap rapper was incomprehensible at half time. Triple fast forward!
    The Squawks kicked a FG 6 minutes in to Q3. Then lotz of defence. Big surprise in Q4! The Squawks actually found the NE end zone after 2 minutes! 19-0. One back for NE in response to a punch by a stroppy Squawk, 19-7, 12:27 to go. The Squawks kicked another FG in the 10th minute, 22-7, game over? It was after a defensive mugging gave the Squawks another TD. NE managed another TD in the 4½ minutes left, no +2. 29-13 final.
    Defences win championships; true.

Could be!

I’ve just finished reading the paperback edition of History Without The Boring Bits by Ian Crofton (2008) and I now know that in 2003, the Father Christmas World Congress ruled that Santa Claus has his home in Greenland, not Lapland.
    Could that be why President trumPut’n is so keen to annex the place?

More useless wokeism

DEFRA, the Environment mob, is demanding cash to stock the countryside with ethnic minorities. It’s too white and middle-class at present, according to the wonks with diversity quotas to fill.
    And too many people out in the sticks speak English as their first language, as far as the wonks are concerned.

Another illusion

British Armed Forces, including the Royal Navy, are to be allowed to shoot down drones which buzz them or their bases stroke ships. If they ever get the equipment needed to do it from a government which is more interested in buying welfare votes.

Not a real solution

It’s all very well for Reform UK to come up with a 5-point plan to Save Our Pubs but will there be any left by the time Nigel gets a shot at being PM. Which is two and a half years away at the earliest.

It’s The System

Is it news that the Mandelsleaze got a big pay-off when he was sacked from the job of ambassodor to the USA? Of course, it isn’t. He’s a politician and they always cop for a loada dosh whatever they’ve done.
    Was anyone taken in by displays of outrage from the usual suspects? Of course, not. Everyone responsible for giving the cash to the Mandelsleaze knew that there would be a row about it. They also knew they wouldn’t get the sack for doing it because of the degree of corruption and injustice in The System.

Neat Trick

In a newspaper story about a French bloke who stuffed a World War I artillery shell up his bum and needed hospital treatment to have it removed, we were told that bomb disposal experts were called to ‘diffuse’ the shell.
    Does that mean the hospital staff made the 8" long by 1" diameter shell just disappear into the environment rather than defusing it?
    The hospital’s severely dodgy customer was later interviewed by the police as a preliminary to being charged with bumming around with a bomb.

Smarmer Swindle

Our wonderful government is paying hospitals a total of £3 million per month to remove customers from their waiting lists so that the government can lie about reducing waiting times for treatments.
    Worse, hospital figures show that fewer patients were treated in the months when the government claims an increase in treatments.
    “Creating the illusion of doing something is more important that actual action.”

Some choice

“How can a man with a record for lying and poor judgement remain as PM?” we are being asked by pundits. Who obviously can’t see that all that the Labour party has to offer as an alternative is someone even worse than Bier!

An observation

The Deadleg of the North has gone rather quiet of late. Could it be that he has finally realized that no one who counts is all that interested in Jonah’s little fantasies?

There was a process

Bier Smarmer’s stance on the Mandelsleaze appointment as the UK ambassodor to the US seems to be that everything sloshing around now was in the public domain at the time of the appointment, and the vetting process gave Mandy an okay. And all the fuss is more about the personal ambitions of those who want to replace Bier than anything new and shocking.
    There’s also a sub-text of ‘what’s wrong with telling lies if you’re a politician anyway?’ It’s something the would-be Bier substitutes do all the time when they’re not trying to pull off tax swindles. Despite all the po-faced denials.

Political make-believe

The thing about the three million Epstein documents released in the US is that they let us be bombarded with speculation.
    ‘Potentially, could have, maybe’ are all deployed mercilessly with no proof on offer by the attention-seekers that any of the invented crimes actually happened.

Yeah, right!

The Prime Fantasist is claiming he has an Immunity Tariff, which protects him from the consequences of doing all sorts of favours for the Mandelsleaze.

Unreal people

The Commons Select Committee on International Aid is going out and about to find out what the public think of it. That’s members of the public who take a cut out of transporting UK taxpayers’ cash to various bits of Africa and the West Indies.

One the wonks missed

The following programme contains images of people smoking tobacco!! Get out of that as a trigger warning!

More discriminatoryTiers

Two Romanian migrants were busted for theft from high-end shops whilst working for an Albanian gang as professional shoplifters. The bloke got 24 months in gaol. The woman got only 18 months.
    Both out in 10 minutes under Smarmer’s new rules?

Lifestyle shift

The drinks trade has been cheered a little by a switch in habits. Dry January became Damp January this year with less of a dip in sales than expected.

Remembered favourably

It seems there are people around who remember The Invaders from the 1970s, when it was shown on BBC2(?). They recall the disused diner and the der-rer ominous music, but the contents of the episodes have gone after 50 years and, apart from David Vincent triumphing each time, the plots are all ‘as new’.

The downs and downs of politics

An analysis of Britain’s investment prospects has arrived at Downing Street. A prediction of an increase of 0.8% during 2026, made before the Fantasist’s disastrous Budget last November, has been revised to a decrease of 0.2%.

An air of resignation?

The Metropolitan Police, currently raiding his London homes, say the Mandelsleaze investigation is complex and needs some actual evidence. Otherwise, sleazing and reckless speculation will have to do?

Even more tiers

If you kick the coppers who turn up to sort out a loud domestic incident at your home, how do you avoid going to gaol for assault, as the guidelines require?
    Claim it’s all the fault of the menopause.

Only Illegals Matter

His own MPs are having to tell Bier Smarmer that putting illegal immigrants into new council houses in preference to British citizens on a waiting list is a Bad Idea.
    Especially if it costs the MPs their jobs and perks and fiddles. Isolated as he is from real life, this is something that didn’t occur to Bier.

No Escape

A couple of Aussies have brought Chinese plague restrictions to the Winter Olympics in Italy. No hand-shaking and face masks in crowded areas to start with.
    Something more severe is bound to follow if things get out of hand.

Story as in fiction

Epstein Russian honey trap shock-horror? Help! We’re all doomed. But on closer inspection, it turns out to be a false alarm over a misprint. For ‘trap’ read ‘crap’. As for most of the rest of the fantasies.

Another Betrayal

The reason why Labour is letting our Armed Forces go to wrack and ruin has been exposed. Smarmer is trying to stuff £130 BILLION of our money in fraud-ridden EFU pockets.

Lethal climate

Freezing Florida is experiencing a downpour of iguanas. The reptiles are becoming too chilled to cling on to the trees where they roost and falling to the ground in thousands. Helpful citizens are scooping them up for disposal and the state’s euthanasia services are struggling to keep up with the demand.

What’s the real beef?

The lawyer trying to extract cash from Prince Andrew is upset and moaning that the Royal Family has stripped his target of his titles and made him unable to thrust millions of dollars into the pockets of lawyers, and deprived said lawyers of justice; i.e. hard cash. Sue King Chuck instead if he’s still got plenty?

Expert on the job

Maramé Colón, the Minister for Degeneracy, has been put in charge of dealing with the Mandelsleaze Embarrassment. His main qualification appears to be that it takes one to know one; something which is common currency in politics.

Skiving for all

The honco of the National Education Union wants school teachers to have the ’uman bluddy right to skive off during term time to go to the likes of the Glastonbury Festival.
    Another alibi for more strikes, not having this ‘right’?

Woke Schmustice

If you’re a bus driver who sorts out a violent thief and retrieves a necklace stolen from a female passenger, what do you get?
    If you work for Metroline in London, the sack for bringing the company into disrepute. [with the criminal community?]

File under ‘B’ for Boneheaded

Shamed Andrew in ‘midnight flit’ from Royal Lodge, yelled the headline. But it was under a picture of Prince Andrew on a horse in full daylight.
    Credibility destroyed. Obvious junk journalism. Especially if moving his stuff will take weeks, which makes it definitely not an out-and-gone flit.

One way street

It’s rather weird, the way the meeja mob go on about ‘the survivors of J. Epstein’s abuse’.
    The implication is that he was in the habit of having those who fell into his orbit killed when they had served their purpose, and only the lucky ones got away.
    But, of course, someone who’s dead can’t sue a wise guy for libel and there is a great need of stuff to put between the adverts.

Not enough

Why did a mid-twenties Sudanese illegal get a gaol tariff of only 29 years for a particularly brutal murder? Why 29, as if some sort of equation is involved?
    Why not 99 as the automatic sentence and if the killer can’t manage the full quota, tough. Schmustice.

We’re on our own?

Crumbs! No trigger warning from the Legend channel before episode 3 of The Invaders. Not even about Mexican bandits, gila monsters and an alien spaceship.

More sauce

Is Bier Smarmer going to give up his knighthood as a part of his ludicrously pathetic apology for his shamefully poor judgement in re the Mandelsleaze and his own dishonesty?
● Will anyone who believed lies told by Bier now also have to do a grovelling public apology.

What’s the message?

Supermarkets raked in £500 million/day over Xmas was the headline glimpsed when some newspapers were being consigned to the blue bin. Which means what? They mugged the punters and some Puritan thinks they should be taxed into oblivion to fund Labour’s armies of scroungers?

Not him, for sure

Half of the electorate want to see Labour ditch Bier Smarmer as its party leader. A quarter want Jonah Burnham to replace him. And another quarter don’t want any of the usual suspects as the new leader, including Wee Streeting, Jonah and Angrier Robot.

Something to look forward to

Driverless cars are being given The Knowledge to let them operate and navigate in the London area. The company involved is owned by Gooble and has several franchises operating right now in cities in the Untied States.

More cash darn the drain

Ambulance-chasing lawyers get 4 times more money in legal fees than their customers get from the NHS in compensation for negligence and damage.
    The government (lotz of lawyers) is dragging its feet over limiting how much lawyers can be paid for low-value claims.

Sauce for the gander?

If there has to be an Act of Parliament to remove his peerage from the Mandelsleaze for cosying up to the dead Mr. Epstein, could they also add a clause removing his AoP pension for his term as Director of Public Prostitutions from Bier Smarmer on the grounds that it is totally undeserved?
    Lest we forget, he and coppers of dubious merit wasted a lot of time and our money on trying to stitch up entertainers and Tory politicians for child abuse and even murders on the testimony of now gaoled fantasists. If letting your country down is sauce for the Mandelsleaze, it’s also sauce for the Smarmer.

Second Tier Better

Wigs for bald women should be VAT-free as they are medicinal not cosmetic and an aid for the disabled. A First Tier tax tribunal ruled against the wig-makers but an appeal to the Second Tier delivered the goods.
    But is there a Third Tier for the VAT mob to go to now?

Shock, Horror!!

Mandelson’s Brazilian buddy was photographed carrying a giant packet of washing powder on Monday. Is this the end of civilization as we know it?
    Or it it just Smarmer orchestrating Mandelsleaze to deflect attention from his failure to get anything out of the Chinese despite all the grovelling he did there? Is it him trying to cover up his own history of communism?

Get on with it!

“The following programme contains flashing images” That’s the worst warning the wonks could stick in front of the second episode of The Invaders. Are the aliens killing off the wonks?
    Well, no, ’coz the discrimination bullshit was strapped on to an episode of The A-Team. Much more killing by those aliens is needed to reduce the wonk population.

Trust the French to get silly

What’s a totally prethetic excuse for not returning the Canterbury Embroidery from Bayeux to the country where it was made for a while? How about that it would be shaken to bitz if it were exposed to Britain’s pot-holed roads? Frogatomic!!

Fiddle Factor

The government is looking at a universal basic income scam as a response to the A.I menace to jobs. If everyone gets a UBI payment, whether they work or not, it will be easier to conceal true unemployment statistics.
● A trial in Finland 8 years ago was abandoned as unsustainable at a national level. Not exactly a confidence-builder with the Labour lot in government here as it would just be a way of rewarding their lazy and feckless supporters.

Safer from or for whom?

49,000 criminals got out of gaol early in the first year of Labour’s scam to put them back into circulation. According to Dippy Dave, the current Justice Sec., this is part of Labour’s plan to make our streets safer!

Fair question

Why is the Fantasist she called Thievin Reeves? Just ask anyone in the drinks trade, and their customers, who’s having to stump up yet another rise in the iniquitous alcohol tax.

Who’s Worser?

Do we take Bier Smarmer, a notorious liar and betrayer of our country, at all seriously when he accuses the Mandelsleaze of doing the same?

Just plain dodgy

Can A.I chatbots be trusted to deliver unbiased data? Nope. The conclusion of expert analysis is that they are programmed to trawl left-wing sources, which gives them a narrow and inconsistent world view.
    But what else can you expect from unaccountable, copyright stealing tech companies?

Show no mercy?

Is it fair to reinvent the life of a long dead author in terms of contemporary stuff that has no relevance to his life and times? This is what seems to be happening to Charles Dodgson, a.k.a. Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland.
    Just as well he’s past caring.

Business Battery

Our wonderful government is seeking to create an apocalypse of zombie firms. That’s ones which staggered on with government help after the Chinese plague wrecked everything.
    HMRC is now seeking to grab overdue tax from them to make Bier Smarmer’s claim that the economy is about to turn a corner come true.
    Unfortunately, the turn is from Calamity Road straight into Disaster Street.

Exit feeling good about it?

Why has the Mandelsleaze quit Labour? Could it just be a belated burst of self-respect?
    Could it be that he doesn’t want to be contaminated by associating with a party fronted by a dishonest beery Smarmer, who owns in a millionaire’s mansion but goes around in a freebie suit and specs?

Strange choice

The Invaders (1967), just started on Legend, doesn’t get an apology for being discriminatory or being liable to make wonks curl up and collapse, unlike Charlie’s Angels, who have been replaced in the 6 p.m. slot.
    What a peculiar discrimination between female private eyes and evil aliens with sticky-out little fingers!

Things we Brits don’t get

1. Why does someone in the US go out to confront heavily armed Federal agents with a gun and 2 spare magazines about his person?
2. How do the Feds know that someone with one gun doesn’t have a back-up weapon stashed somewhere, as is common practice in the gun-happy USA?

Rodney Redacted

No one told him it’s called the Forbidden City because once you’re in it, looking for freebies, you can’t get out again!
    Oh, well. No one will miss him.

 

On it goes

The Church of England is facing a huge drop in income as members choose not to feed the collection plate. Why? Because the new Archybish of Cantab is set to go on with the wonk virtue-flagging scam devised by the disgraced Wetby.
    She is intent on diverting £100 million of church funds to the slavery repayments scam. That’s cash that will go to the usual suspects who prey on charities rather than the ‘victims’ of something that happened 300 years ago.

Simple strategy

If President trumPut’n keeps on saying Put’nstan’s assault on Ukraine; the war he was going to end on his first day in office; will soon be over, he’s bound to be right eventually.

Treasury twits

The ban on VAT-free shopping for foreigners has cost the UK around £1.3 billion, which would have been spent here just by potential shoppers from China, never mind other nationalities.
    They’re all going to Spain instead now.

Scrap Heap

The 3 million documents, videos and pictures released by the US Justice Department are Swamp Epstein. They contain fact; usually fairly harmless ones; fiction, malice and garbage. And they don’t contain the redacted stuff.
    They can be used to ‘prove’ anything against anyone who was around during the life of the dead Mr. Epstein to people who are not bovvered about the quality of the source.

Rather predictable

His opponents and rivals are trying to give POTUS trumPut’n the Creaky Joe treatment. Five months away from his 80th birthday, he’s showing signs of dementia, he has an extra short attention span, he doesn’t know Greenland from Iceland, he makes more U-turns that Bier Smarmer, hence the TACO** jibe, and then there’s his habit of pointing a pistol at supposed friends and confirmed foes alike, etc., etc.
**Trump Always Chickens Out

Government by deadlegs

Labour’s cancellation of the Rwanda export plan for illegals wasted £715 million of our money. Now, the Rwandan government is demanding another £100 million.
    Is this Bier going for Hit the Billion? Don’t bet against it.

File under ‘A’ for Attention-seeker

What does the Green party candidate for the not-Jonah Burnham by election have to offer? Legalizing prostitution, abolishing the police and transpicaters having more rights than anyone else. And she’s a Palestinian Pal. Not at all surprising given the weird nature of the bloke chosen to be the party’s figurehead.

The party of the criminal

Labour’s Plan for Crime amounts to letting bad guys out of gaol early; or not even locking them up; and letting the police forces of England and Wales dwindle instead of beefing them up.

Today’s Questions

1. Are all the jumped-up upstarts who are seeking attention by slagging off the remains of the Mandelsleaze any better than him themselves?
2. Is Bier Smarmer going to offer us a grovelling apology for making the Mandelsleaze his ambassodor to the Untied States and is Bier going to resign in shame?

We know

Fact: you can’t trust the Chinese regime any more than you can trust the regime in Put’nstan. And only a shameless and persistent liar like Bier Smarmer would try to pretend you can.

Doing the maths

Wow! The Daily Disaster had a feature about Princess Di’s former psychic. Apparently, the lady is just 5 feet tall and she used to have a body mass index of 77!! But she’s down to a mere 24.7 now. Which makes my 21 look a bit limp.

Worst TV advert

The one with people with a gobby mouth in their forehead has severe competition from the thuggish seal (or sea lion?), which casually goes round clobbering people every bloody where. No idea what the product is.

Living dangerously

In the woke world, that’s something as serious as eating the last of your discounted mince pies on the day after the ‘best before’ date.

Fairness alert!

A woman with agoraphobia who was too ‘overwhelmed’ to work tried to sue for compenbluddysation when her colleagues, who hadn’t seen her for 6 months, decided to do her the favour of not inviting her to a Christmas bash.
    Surprisingly, a tribunal decided that the colleagues had done nothing wrong and no cash was forthcoming.

Not so top

Of the 12 ‘top Tories under Boris’ listed as defectors to Reform, I recognized the first four names. Then . . . nah.

Without prejudice

A former Labour MP is to be charged with a sexual assault which is alleged to have taken place 3½ years ago. And he won’t be before the magistrates until the end of February. Law’s delays or the Law asleep?

Telling it like it is

Apparently, Bier Smarmer’s talks with President 11 of China were billed as ‘history making’. Yes, they certainly will be granted that label. But for being a total waste of time; the worst one in our history; rather than as any sort of ground-breaking achievement.

Snailtime

Customers of the Royal Mail are up in arms over a late delivery rate of 29% over the Xmas period; a new world record.
    Not just Christmas cards were delayed – vital documents and appointment details also fell by the wayside.

Pointless worry

A writer giving his book a plug in the Sunday Post noted that the track record of the dominant species on the planet is that they go extinct, and he shudders to think how long it will be before the current dominant species; humans; hits the buffers.
    If we can do as well as the dinosaurs, no need to worry. And it’s not too likely that a planet with another 5 billion years to go before its star goes nova and eats it up will be too bothered about losing another transient dominant species.

The way of woke

The BierBC was forced to do a grovelling apology for getting through Holocaust Memorial Day [Jan 27th] without uttering the word ‘Jew’.
    The reason given was that the people wiped out by the Nazis weren’t exclusively Jewish. Or something.

Dodgy digits

The Home Sec. has declared that sending 281 illegals back to France and accepting 350 from the French is okay. It’s within the expected discrepancies in our disfavour for any Smarmer deal, especially one which Bier thinks is a landmark scam.
    Once in France, the illegals are free to sneak back here again and be counted twice as illegals returned if caught.

More ‘not me, Guv’

The Fantasist of the Exchequer; not wanted in China; got a good booting for sending a badly-briefed dogsbody to the Commons to say that pubs will get some business rates help but small shops and the rest of the hospitality sector will have to swallow her 100%+ rises and be zonked by taxes from April onwards with nothing to be delivered in return for all the dosh.
    The dogsbody also managed to upset the Speaker by rambling on for 13 minutes in what was supposed to te a 10-minute slot by padding out 30 seconds worth of information with drivel.

Any excuse for a skive

Is Never Here Bier coming back here to continue the job of wrecking the UK after his crawl in China? Nope. He’s on holiday in Japan now.

No decoding needed

The message coming from the water companies seems to be quite clear. It’s going to cost a hell of a lot more because we have all these bosses being paid a grand a day for doing Gord knows what.

Decoding Job

The official verdict on Never Here Bier’s jaunt to China is “may not yield results immediately”.
Translation: For ‘may’ substitute ‘will’ and cancel ‘immediately’.

Too far away

Is the Spanish government likely to take any notice of protest marches in UK cities about hunting with dogs in Spain?
    The protesters claim that 100,000 dogs are killed or just abandoned when the season ends as they are classed as ‘tools’ rather than pets. So why aren’t the protesters marching in Spain?

POTUS explanation

Mr. trumPut’n didn’t have a go at Britisch troops who served in Afghanistan. He had a pop at the troops of Europeon NATO members who didn’t appear on front lines.
    He doesn’t consider the UK to be part of Europe, home of the EFU nations that let the side down.

No leg left undead

Reform is gaining a reputation as a brilliant repairer of political reputations. Former Tories who were condemned as total deadlegs; Jenrick, Mrs. Braverperson et al; are suddenly marvelous recruits to the Faragists and therefore political crême.
    The most insidious form of politician can be reinvented . . . quite miraculously. Although, whether Reform could do anything with Bier Smarmer is a matter of severe doubt.

Fashion victim heaven

If you want to look like a complete idiot in February, you can pay £199 for a pair of bright red foam-block shoes. They are modelled on Lego bricks and the ultimate in clunkiness.

Today’s Conspiracy

Could it be that Jonah Burnham, Greater Manchester’s mayoral disaster area, is rallying his supporters to arrange for Labour to lose in the Gorton & Denton by-election? Thus building his case that blocking him from taking part and avoiding blowing £5 million a mayoral election to replace him; which will give the job to Reform UK, wasn’t a smart idea?
    The official view from Downing Street is that losing a by-election is preferable to losing control of Greater Manchester.
● The by-election is to replace a bloke who was booted out of the Labour party for being offensive.

It’s what they do

The news that the Chinese have hacked the phones of top bods at Downing Street for years comes as no surprise. Or that a Labour government is pretending it doesn’t happen.

Another Labour outrage

As well as BILLIONs that go with the Chagos Betrayal, our wonderful government is giving Mauritius £45 million per year in development aid.
    That’s country with a growth rate of its economy of 4.5% when the UK strugglies to get near 1%.

The curse goes on

Jonah Burnham’s botched coup attempt will hasten the binning of Bier Smarmer and his replacement by someone even worse. No wonder he’s called Jonah.
    Maybe being exposed as a self-serving and selfish ratbag will damage him. But if the Labour party could make a known ratbag like Beir Smarmer, Corbynstein’s best mate, its leader, maybe not.

Non-event

Bier Smarmer is getting only a half-hearted booting for crawling to the regime in China and coming home with virtually nothing rather than some worthwhile trade deal. After all, we know for sure that Bier is Mr. Useless. He confirms it every day.

Can they wait until 2029?

Reform UK, if elected to government, would do a tony b. liar, Mr. Farage is claiming. Mr. liar gave IRA terrorists a free pass for everything. Britisch veterans who served against the terrorists will get the same protection from the current spate of malicious prosecutions.

Not bovvered

Do we really care that Andrew Mwah invited his pal Epstein to the Palace a month after Ep got out of gaol? Having served his sentence and having become free to resume his place in society, of course.
    The dead Ep is nothing much compared to some of the butchers who have been to the Palace in the name of polytics.

More bodies, less service

The Fantasist of the Exchequer guarandamnteed that she would cut 10,000 snivel service jobs and save £2 billion. But there were 6,300 of them appointed in the year to March 2025. And their mandarins are getting above inflation rewards for failure.

Stuck in a crack

Mr. Giordano says my wine order has been sent to the delivery firm. And there’s a charge on my credit card.
    Two days later, Mr. Yodel’s tracker says the order is still with the shipper.
    Someone is having me on. But who?

Dead either way

There are now over 33,000 fewer opponents of the regime in Iran now. That’s the latest count of the number of people killed by the Republican Guard assassination squads; shot in the streets and hospitals rather than hanged in prisons.

Time-waster

What is the new French ‘stop the boats’ strategy? Arrest someone on a boat that’s chugging along a canal with 40 bodies aboard, and take the bloke to court so that the judge can decide he’s a passenger and let him go.

Who’s right?

The boss of the IMF reckons A.I is going to wipe out jobs as it has got faster than the world can handle. 60% of jobs will be affected, she told the gang at Davros, home of the Daleks. Mostly adversely.
    The Muskites, however, are rubbing their hands with glee and looking forward to an Age of Abundance.
    And then there are the realists, who are waiting for the A.I bubble to burst when there’s not enuff electricity to run the super-computers.
    “Which shall it be, Passworthy?”

Reality Bites

The Exchange Fantasist promised lower rates bills before her disastrous budget last year. What she failed to take into account, however, was that business rates would be ‘revised’ and the resulting bill would be spectacularly higher based on the new valuation cum guess cum swindle.
    Thievin is now having to bail out pubs to stop the rate of closure becoming even more embarrassingly high, and the rest of the hospitality trade remains snapping at her ankles.

Always elsewhere grovelling

Bier Smarmer, currently on his kneepads in China, is getting a booting from an outraged steel industry for buying it from China instead of having it made here. Using Chinese-sourced steel is part of the Milipede Nett Zero scam.

Wot’s going on?

Who’s in charge of the winter storm alphabet? We had a Storm Grotter at the beginning of the month but the newsworthy one this week is Storm Chaos. Some foreigner to blame?
    Apparently, there was also a Storm Ingrid after Grotter.

More tax-cash needed?

Police officers in England and Wales will have to undergo an MOT-style test in order to keep their licence to practice. The Home Office is being very coy about how often coppers will have to be tested, which indicates that it’s just a distraction from something else and it hasn’t been thought through or costed.

Another job vacancy

For the first time ever, our Royal Navy has Nett Zero top rank Admirals. The last of them quit his job last week and a Labour government is in no rush to replace him as Defence of the Realm does not matter to Smarmer’s Army.

Trust Blaster

What do you get when the government blows £4.6 BILLION on a Nett Zero insulation scam? Fraud on a massive scale and botched work which creates damp and mould, and also higher energy prices.
    The government is ‘auditing’ [i.e. not doing anything to fix problems] external wall insulation scams ‘at no coast to the consumer’.
    Which is a lie if the consumer is one of the taxpayers who will have to pay to clear up another government mess.

Poor Little Me syndrome

Is all the publicity given to Brooklyn Bridge’s mega-whinge about his controlling parents part of a sinister government plot? Is Smarmer’s Army trying to persuade the nation that being rich and having enterprising and talented parents is a bad idea?
    “Give all your cash to us so that we can waste it,” has to be the hidden agenda behind the warning that wealth turns people into ham actors with a scripted life, which drops to bitz if someone else goes off-script.

Something better to spend the Chagos billions on?

The government is not paying a realistic price for aspirin and other vital drugs. As a result, there is a national shortage of aspirin and pharmacies are having to ration supplies and give the tablets only to people with serious health conditions.
    Our wonderful government has had to ban exports of the drug to prevent manufacturers selling it abroad at a decent price.

Today’s bonus questions

1. If former PM TheRazor May was told to get dressed in bed during a trip to China to prevent her hosts’ spy cameras from filming her naked, what did she do about taking a shower or a bath?
2. BierBC newscast or newscatter?

Challenge to Nett Zero posturing

Criminal gangs are doing their best to sabotage Edstone Milipede’s lunatic Nett Zero fantasy. By attaching charging points for EVs. They are stealing cables for their copper content; at £20 a throw; and hitting 60 charging points per month at the current rate.
    The cost of replacing each cable can be nudged up to a grand a time when the accountants have finished their fiddles. And the police are too busy with trivialities to be bovvered. Hence the demand to upgrade the seriousness of the thefts to attacks on critical national infrastructure.

Today’s Questions

1. Is that Venezuela forgotten now that trumPut’n has sent has sent his fleet to menace Iran?
2. Where will the Ayatollah Bunchacommies end up if he has to bug out? Moscow, with the other usual suspect rejects?
3. Who is this Burkaman, who’s supposed to be Manchester’s mayor?
4. Why didn’t ITV4 show episode 6 of series 1 of The Sweeney, “Night Out”? Or does 7 follow 5 in their numbering system?

Squidgeproof

How do you pot the POTUS over his slagging off of British troups who served in Afghanistan? Rake up trumPut’n’s history as a draft dodger which kept him well clear of the Vietnam war?
    Ancient history. And he did a U-turn on the slagging. Everything will be forgotten when the next outrage comes along.

Always an alibi

If you’ve noticed that Bier Smarmer’s excuses have been even more excessively pathetic of late, it’s because his chief apologist, Pizaz Beluga, is having an extended nervous breakdown.

Night (as opposed to day) of shame

The Home Secretary got a booting last week for sneaking vanloads of illegals to a parking spot at Crowborough in the middle of the night. The former military base will eventually house 500 male illegals, who will be free to hang around at local schools if they choose to.
    The locals are not happy, but what do their opinions matter?

Not the way THEY want it!

The thing about a 3-hour film on TV, such as one of the Mission Impossible series, I’ve been told, is that you can have your dinner during the first hour, then press the ‘pause’ button, do all the washing up and get back up to date by fast-forwarding through the advert breaks.

Mockworthy

An ancient sawmill in Glasgow has been saved from developers, with the aid of the local MSP, Mr. P. Sweeney (Labour), and will become a Grade C listed building.
    Mr. Sweeney is now claiming that he had no idea that a seedy sex club was using the building as its venue. No danger of due diligence when you were playing the heritage card, Paul?

Different deadleg

Is Smarmer the equivalent of Joe Biden? Not even close. Creaky Joe was elected by a majority in the USA to be its figurehead for 4 years. Only the Labour party gave Bier his job with no guarantee of it lasting for the length of this Parliament. And only 20% of the electorate voted Labour.

Neglect of duty

Surprise! Retailers are making outlandish claims for their weight loss supplements, and the usual suspect websites are at it too. The consumer watchdog Which? is having to do the job of shooting down the false claims as, it seems, the government can’t be bovvered. Well, nothing new there.

Just useless

The Thievin Reeves plan to cut the costa living in the new year is off to a typical start. She’s got inflation UP from 3.2% to 3.4%. She also has economic growth stuck at Nett Zero. And groceries inflation is 4.5% and rising.

Crawler

Bier Smarmer is having to take extra knee pads on his trip to China to make sure that when he’s grovelling, he doesn’t damage his freebie suits. The Downing Street spokes would not reveal whether the knee pads are freebies or charged to taxpayer-funded expenses.

Another plague source

Experts picking the lies out of the trumPut’n speech in Davros, home of the Daleks, have reached a not unreasonable conclusion. The speech is full of lies because exposure to our Prime Monster has passed on Bier’s dishonesty bug to the POTUS!

Another Labour Betrayal

The Tories put safety measures into their Legacy Act to protect from malicious prosecutions, those who protected the UK against the IRA. Smarmer’s Army has cancelled this protection. Worse, it’s  lying about what has been done.

Slavery Tier

Edstone Milipede, Energy Sec. pro tem, has confirmed that he is okay with buying Chinese solar panels made using slave labour for his latest energy scam. He’s that kinda guy, Red Ed. Totally unaffected by life’s little realities.

U-Pause

+++ trumPut’n bluff called by Greenland +++ trumPut’n does rant about Chagos Betrayal +++ UK trade deal with US to be unpicked? +++ Smarmer & Squirmer checked +++ But not slam-dunked into the dustbin, where they belong +++ Bier Smarmer will not yield +++ Until he finds out what the word means and does a U-turn +++

Some certainty

What do we know for sure about our Prime Monster? Well, he doesn’t do half-measures. He’s not a little bit dodgy, he’s 100% thoroughly dishonest and untrustworthy. It’s an observation which has to colour everything we get from him.

More unsmashed gangs

Nothing much is being done about the criminal gangs which start a roadside dump of rubbish of all types and create a heap which costs MILLIONs to shift.
    What is it about gangs and the Labour party?

The past revealed

A count of the finds from digs by our archaeologists has made 2024 a record year. The best places to look for good stuff are Norfolk, Suffolk and Lincolnshire.

Going wrong on everything

POTUS trumPut’n seems to be in a competition to come up with the most absurd slander imaginable, e.g. the biscuit-taking one about Britisch troops shirking the front line in Afghanistan.
    But with whom is he in competition?

Sussed!

Could it be that the true agenda of the Bored of Peace is to start lots of small wars, which a certain president hungry for a fistful of Nobel Peace Prizes can end?

The real bosses

It has been pointed out that the Founding Fathers of the Untied States put Congress in charge of everything. Not the president.
    The Congress could impeach trumPut’n to put a stop to his demented ravings.
    That nothing is being done about them just demonstrates how weak, useless and pointless this institution has become as it approaches its 250th birthday.
    Senility rulz, Nokay.

NFL end game

Orf to Seattle next. A dive for a TD put the Squawks ahead. A long FG for the visiting Rams. One for the Squawks as Q1 ran down. A long kick for the Rams in Q2, then a TD as the half ran out, but leaving enough time for one by the Squawks, 13-17.
    A botched punt catch try set up a TD for the Squawks 2 minutes in to Q3. One for the Rams, another for the Squawks, 20-31. Taunting by the Squawks helped the Rams to a TD. The Rams didn’t take the pints on a 4th down with 5 minutes left. Still 27-31 as time ran out.
    Pretty much a who cares who wins Super Bowl this year as neither finalist has any fans at the mansion.

AFL end game

The Broncos looked in charge after going a quick TD up but they failed to go for the FG on a 4th down early in Q2. And that gave the Patriots some steam.
    Going for the QB toward the end of the half gave them a scoring chance, 7-all at the break after both teams missed a FG try.
    The Patriots took the points and a 10-7 lead in Q3. Loads of fine snow and a FG miss by the Patriots at the end of Q3. The pitch covered with snow.
    A FG miss; helped by the wind; for the Broncos in impossible conditions with 5 minutes left. A pick with 2 minutes left and a 1st down set up a Super Bowl trip for the Patriots.

Shrinkage only

As Labour concentrates on shuffling the deck at the top of the police forces in England and Wales to dilute local accountability, the number on the front-line fell by 10,000 between March 2003 and March 2005.
    Worse, 220,000 jobs of all sorts have gone since the 2024 general election thanks to Labour’s insane tax ‘n’ waste policies.
    A government spokes, Hadjzamboni Lushenko, offered some meaningless wibble, which was deemed unworthy of retention.

Grand notion

A High Court judge has given Reform UK permission to challenge Bier Smarmer’s attempt to cancel this year’s local elections.
    The Speaker of the Commons (originally Labour) is also in favour of elections in his constituency in Lancashire. Maybe he could develop a blind eye to turn on Bier when he wants to unload more of his lies on us in Parliament.

Another nowhere

It’s situation TACO** as far as trumPut’n’s ambition to take over Greenland is concerned.
    He’s now claiming he’s made a deal and that’s why he’s called off the threat of invasion and tariffs and all the other stuff.
    But the deal, such as it is, just lets the Untied States build more military bases on Greenland. Which is something that NATO would have nodded through without all the trouble.
    trumPut’n is getting some credit, however. Sadly, it’s for creating a ‘new world disorder’. And his Bored of Peace doesn’t seem to be up to much either.
**TACO = trumPut’n Always Chickens Out
    POTUS and we pot you. Maybe.

The road to nowhere

Is Jonah Burnham under the delusion that his cloud of disaster doesn’t apply to him? Despite warnings that Labour’s National Executive Committee wouldn’t let him be a candidate for the Gorton & Denton by-election, Jonah went ahead. And was duly grotted on by Bier and his NEC.

The neglect agenda

Local councils are getting a booting for causing road accidents and near misses by failing to renew worn-out road markings as well as failing to fill potholes.
    There’s always something woke and worthy to waste our cash on instead of the job the council is supposed to do.

Too much dosh down the drain

Five million quid to hold an election for another Greater Manchester mayor (which Labour would lose).
    That’s Bier Smarmer’s reason for blocking Jonah Burnham’s ambition to become an MP again.
    Lest we forget, he’s the Stafford Hospital neglect, all the banks going bust, and GM police in administration and the chief constable sacked Jonah Burnham.

No stopping American Crunch

At least 200 million people are at risk extreme cold weather in the Untied States. Will this impact the NFL divisional championship play-off matches in Denver and Seattle?
    Denver can expect 25 deg.F, feels like 18 deg.F, but the ground’s staff at Mile High Stadium should be able to cope with the amount of snow expected.
    Seattle, in the Pacific North-West, won’t be hit by the winter storm. Around 44 deg.F and sunny is the prediction for the kick-off, with not much wind.

The worst of the worst

The Education Sec., B. Phillipson, has been voted the most useless Cabinet minister for promising to defend free speech in cancel-culture infested universities and then spending a year ignoring the ishue.
    The UK is now 64th in the world academic freedom rankings and Oxo and Cantab are in the top 3 in the UK list of the worst woke, far-left cancel culture offenders.

Unwelcome

The real reason why the Inuits of Greenland don’t want to sell the place to the USA, even if they get the top whack of $74,000 apiece, or even a million bucks, is that they expect their new landlord to send in the ICE to evict all of the native population as ‘not wanted in the Untied States’ and they’ll end up stuck in migrant hotels in the UK.

Boneyard of contention

The Boy Beckham’s son, Brooklyn Bridge, has joined the Hissy Kids’ Club with an online deluge of whinges. Does Prince Hairy have a rival for the presidency? And will becoming top dog mean a pay rise for the kid’s ghost writer?

Apocalypse postponed

    A deadleg too far or Bier chickens out
Bier Smarmer has blocked Jonah Burnham from standing as a Labour candidate in a coming local by-election on the grounds that electing a replacement cosmetic mayor would be a waste of money and Labour can’t afford the campaign involved.
    Would it cost more than the Chagos betrayal, Bier?
Translation: unnecessary election = one Labour will lose.

Are we doomed?

The human wrecking ball Jonah Burnham, currently cosmetic mayor of Greater Manchester, is hoping to become an MP again so that he can take over from Bier Smarmer.
    He’s denying it, which, in line with current Labour values, means that it has to be true. If successful, Jonah will wreck the entire country, not just parts of it.

Another one

The Daily Disaster’s A.I has no Scottish input. Hence Renfrews-hire at a line break, splitting the shire apart in the tradition of other creations, which began with supery-acht.

Spot the difference

1. A 37-year-old American man shot by government agents.
2. A 37-year-old American man armed with a self-loading pistol plus two spare magazines; and no I.D; shot in a confrontation with ICE agents.

Easier media access

Nothing about revolution in Iran in the news any more. It’s all about President trumPut’n and the masked immigrants in Iranapolis doing rioting against ICE. Encouraged by the Democraps in Minnesota for their own reasons.

A spot of company for our guy

POTUS trumPut’n has invited his old mate Put’n the Poisoner to pony up a billion bucks and join his Gaza Exploitation Gang, which is being outed as a rival to the United Nations Organization with trumPut’n in permanent charge.
    Mr. b. liar is officially honoured to join the Gang but President MacRon of France responded with a Gallic “Non!”

Alternative strategy

Has Bier Smarmer actually done U-turn 14 on banning under-16s from the interweb after he said he wouldn’t do it? Actually, as Conservative leader Mrs. Badenuff has also spotted, he’s going to ‘consult’ on the ishue.
    Translation: He’s going to boot it into the long grass as an alternative to actually making a decision.

Not their decision

Cheshire Police are getting a booting for complaining that the CPS didn’t buy their ‘evidence’ for further charges against the imprisoned nurse Lucy Letby.
    Was she railroaded? Could well be if most if not all of the ‘evidence’ against her has been ‘exploded’. Has the Cheshire police farce been prevented from attempting more railroading? Could well be.

Gorra be rich

People with dementia can get a pair of £700 glasses which talks them through simple tasks and jogs their memory. How they can be reminded to put the glasses on has not been revealed.
    One further snag: the operating software costs £50/month.

File is under ‘U’ for Useless

Our wonderful MPs have trumped blowing 10 million quid of our money on a House of Frauds security door that doesn’t work. They have blown £62 million on New Palace Yard, giving it gates, turnstiles which the average female user finds a struggle to negotiate and some cobbles instead of a user-friendly walking surface.
    Question: Is their casual attitude to our money supposed to be some sort of alibi for failing to spot government waste?

File under ‘T’ for Twit

Culture Vulture Sec. L. Nandy got a good booting for claiming that a Reform UK government would be fascist without adding: “Like the local election-cancelling Labour lot.”
    File it under ‘S’ for short-changed as well.

Appreciated TV

What we need is more CI5. The last 2 episodes that I saw on Legend, which didn’t bother with the original order, had one bad guy blown up on a boat on the Thames and another BG blown up in a wrecked light aircraft; both not in sight, boom! and a huge fireball.
    None of our cash was wasted on a trial.
    Charlie’s Angels, however, are not as good. It was obvious to the TV audience at home that the ‘woman’ doing the night club act last night was a bloke in drag, but not to the Angels.
    Gosh! David Vincent and his Invaders will be on next month.

An explanation

The job of POTUS is rather perilous at times; Mr. trumPut’n has the scars to confirm that. Which is why his security chief insists on deploying one of his discreet team of doubles at times.
    Unfortunately, for the world at large, the closest match to the original, Lou Scannon, has a weird sense of humour and a terribly poor sense of self-discipline.

Chattering voices

The EFU’s response was talking about hitting America with a billion euros in tariffs if President trumPut’n goes ahead with his plan to invade Greenland to grab its mineral resources.
    That’s just talking. No actual action.
    Polyticks Inaction.

Forage fodder

Storm Grotter is getting the blame for blasting containers off cargo ships and covering beaches in the south of England with all sorts, including bananas and packets of ready to cook chips.

More blame dumping

Fat-jabbers going for more protein in their diet are getting the blame for an expected 10-20% rise in the cost of meat this year. That and soaring energy prices and all the warmongering going on around the world.

Just outrageous

One billion effin dollars. That’s how much trumPut’n wants to charge us for giving tony b. liar a permanent seat on his Gaza Takeover Gang and UNO substitute.
    Will Smarmer tell him to eff off? That gutless wonder? No way. He’ll just jump at another chance to Betray Britain More by throwing more of our cash away.

As dishonest as ever

Edstone Milipede is claiming that electricity from wind turbines is 40% cheaper than electricity from gas turbines. This is a lie.
    It’s 80% dearer and with yet more subsidies to come.
    How does he get away with his lies? Because Bier Smarmer is too weak and feeble to sack him.

Another translation

Slogan: 14 years of Tory Chaos.
Translation: All governments are crap and if the current one (Labour) is a whole lot crapper than the previous one, Bier & Co. would rather you didn’t notice it.
    And please use it's preferred pronoun's: twit, twat & twerp.

Stick to yer job, mate

POTUS Trump has had a booting from the medical trade, which condemned his attempt to link taking paracetemol during  pregnancy with autism.
    An extensive review of lotz of international data has confirmed that Trump’s rant was just garbage.

Bribe ’em or boot ’em

What was the response from that extremely ‘very hungry caterpillar’ POTUS trumPut’n to President MacRon’s refusal to join the UN rival? A threat of 200% tariffs on French wines and spirits.
    Meanwhile, Put’nstan is taking the trumPut’n demand for Greenland as validation of Put’n’s demand for the whole of Ukraine.

Wot about the Vogons?

Wandsworth Council got a good booting for continuing to do the ‘declare your pronouns’ thing before meetings and offering ze, zir & zem as obfuscating alternatives to genuine human pronounds. And using they, which is plural, for one person, which is just plain looney.

Evil done with bad intentions

The Durham & Darlington NHS Trust got a good booting from a tribunal for abusing the ’uman rights of female nurses. They started complaining about an eonist using their changing rooms over two years ago. The trust and the Labour government are still dragging their feet over this abuse. No management sackings for incompetence are expected.

Today’s Question(s)

Would my bank appreciate me more if I pay off my credit card bill in the last week of the month, as usual, rather than waiting to the last minute?
    Or will they just take no bloody notice of a consistent payer?

Just Cosmetic

The Thievin U-turn on taxing pubs is just a joke if the rest of the hospitality industry is ignored. The fantasies floated when calculating business rates are a real killer. But expecting Labour to come up with a sensible set of reforms is a waste of time, bitter experience tells us.

The real bad guys

Norway is getting the blame for the assault on Greenland and bitz of Europe by POTUS trumPut’n. The Nobel Committee failed to give him his Peace Prize last year and he is MAD!!!
    Especially as President O’Bummer got one for doing nothing at all.

No Chance

Smarmer’s Army won’t admit it but the building trade will keep telling them that their housing target is just another fantasy. Their taxes and red tape make building 1,500,000 new homes by the end of the century, rather than the end of this parliament, look more reasonable.
    The crash in the construction industry is worse than the one achieved by Thievin’s idol, Gordon F. Broon in 2008, the major players have calculated.

Double trouble

The Fantasist of the Exchequer is building her credentials for being delusional by claiming that the Britisch economy is motoring when the IMF says it’s stuck in the slow lane.
    Worse, she’s going to end up in trouble with the Energy Fantasist Edstone Milipede for gaslighting the public with her silly claims instead of using overpriced Nett Zero electricity.

No Escape

When Smarmer lets the Chinese build their mega-spy-centre and if someone kidnaps Smarmer and claims he’s being held there, what then?
    Are the Chinese likely to let the Met search the place to prove he’s not in one of the cells?

FIFA Frazzler

Is POTUS trumPut’n setting up a boycott of the Mexico-USA-Canada World Cup by major European teams with his on-off taxes and taunts? This will make him even more popular!

Nothing new

Will the Labour party’s Moslem biased blasphemy law bring 2-tier policing to our streets, as objecters are complaining?
    Actually, no. We already have it. But it will certainly increase the number of special interest tiers and the concept creep involved in redefining the junk work ‘Islamophobia’ will let bean counters invent ever huger hate crime statistics.
    And buy Moslem votes for the Labour party, which is the prime intention.

Place your bets!

Bier Smarmer is on the record as opposing a ban on under-16s using anti-social meeja. Will this be U-turn 14? Bier is being booted from all sides by his back-benchers over lotz of other unpopular policies, which makes something else claiming the 14 slot very possible.
● Opponents of the ban in the real world want better parenting rather than a political blunt instrument being used by idiots on a complex problem.

Recipe for stagnation

The only people in the private sector making lotz of dosh before and after the Fantasist’s November budget disaster are accountants and tax consultants. No one surprised.

Bin-fodder in due course

Jenrick for PM? That’s the bloke frequently labelled as a fraud by Mr. Farage; and also by Reform UK’s candidate to replace the Sadgeek in London; over his (Jenrick’s) miserable record as the immigration minister.
    And as long as Jenrick is around, everyone in Reform is going to be watching a known back-stabber like the proverbial hawk. Not to mention having an eye out for everyone who chums up with the back-stabber who tried to do it to Sunak before Mrs. Badenuff.

Timeo Danaos

Was it an attempt to baffle Putinstan – appointing a bloke called Danae Dholakia as our chargé d’affaires in Moscow? Leave the blighters wondering if they’d got the right bloke to moan at when they were intent on chucking out a Britisch diplomat for spying?

A Mainwaring Mob

Our cash-starved Army is being forced to recreate the Home Guard of World War II to make up the number of bodies in uniform needed in the face of aggression from Putinstan and Trumpstan. Veterans in their late 50s and early 60s will be called up to fill gaps in skilled jobs rather than put on the front line. There were 95,000 conscripts available at the last count.

Mr. No-Mates

Well, who’da thunk it? The Faragists are less than thrilled by the arrival in their ranks of the failed back-stabber R. Jenrick. And the bloke who was in line to be Reform UK’s chancellor shadow isn’t stepping aside voluntarity.

Wallet Emptier

There’s a company being set up in the US (where else?) To offer space tourists 5 days at an inflatable hotel on the Moon for £7.5 million. Which sounds like a good idea. Anyone who jumps too high in the reduced gravity will just bump off a rubber ceiling and make a soft landing on a rubber floor.

“America out!”

Will President trumPut’n make as big an impact at the international conference in Davros, home of the Daleks, as the Boy Beckham made?
    A former footballer is a hard act for a bloke with nett zero athletic credentials to follow.

Interesting fact

Thanks to History Without The Boring Bits by Ian Crofton (2007), I now know that the term eonism has been applied to the adoption of female dress and behaviour since the 19th century.
    It was inspired by the life of the Chevalier d’Eon, a French soldier, diplomat and spy, whose mother insisted on dressing him as a girl.

The way forward

What the world needs is for the Men from U.N.C.L.E. to go after and sort out the bad guys of T.R.U.M.P., which is clearly an infiltraitor offshoot of Thrush and just as dangerous to Western civilization.

Just compare

100 gms of dark chocolate from Cadbury’s = £1.69.
100 gms of dark chocolate from Aldi = 75p.

Just ignore

Them there Easter eggs wot are now in supermarkets will be 16% smaller and cost 17% more than last year’s offerings. To be bought only by those okay with being swindled.

On the up

The UK dog population has risen by four million since 2020 and offering doggie birthday parties is a new growth industry. One explanation in circulation is that dogs are cheaper than kids and that couples are putting off breeding in favour of a pocket-easier alternative.

All out of the same box

We have Conservative leader K. Badenuff chopping out the party’s dead wood and Reform UK hoovering it up. Nigel now has a party of tyros and deadlegs.
    How is that much different from the collection of stooges and wasters that makes up Smarmer’s Army?

File under ‘B’ for Boneheaded

It is claimed that the movement seeking to have o’besity declared a disease and not something caused by greed is gaining traction. Genetics and the food industry are getting a lot of the blame.
    Okay, if 64% of the population is o’bese, that’s a definite majority compared to the 20% of the electorate that voted Labour in 2024. But sheer quantity is no guarantee of quality, as Smarmer’s Army keep on demonstrating.

U-turn in the right direction

POTUS Trump has hit the nail on the head. The Smarmer & Squirmer decision to hand the Chagos Islands to Mauritius and China at huge expense to Britisch taxpayers is gross stoopidity, which was done for no reason.
    Mr. Farage from the garage is getting some credit for opening Trump’s eyes to a betrayal of both the UK and the US.

A quick swerve

The Chief Constabule of the West Midlands police farce has short-circuited the attempts to sack him buy opting for the retirement escape route.
    He’s also threatening to sue for constructive dismissal. A job for Lord Squirmer, defending him? And another fee if the ex-Chief Con. is done for misconduct?
    Natch, the local Police Commish (Labour) and the Labour-supporting local Islamist mob will not be troubled with any misconduct charges for fabricating ‘evidence’ of hooliganism against Israeli football fans.

Another hand held out

The Green party’s weird leader is hoping to buy the Yoof Vote by demanding free bus passes for under-22s. Not that anyone with the power to do it is listening.
    It’s just him living up to his reputation for encouraging weirdness and scrounging.
    Like the bit-players do.

Their problem

When you think about it, it’s only fair that America should be in charge of rebuilding Gaza and paying for it under the direction of a Trump-crony gang which also includes the warmonger tony b. liar.
    After all, the Yanks paid for Israel’s efforts to wreck the joint.

Another failure

Has Australia managed to ban under-16s from anti-social meeja? Nope. Lotz of them have come up with work-arounds, including claiming to be 16, and those who haven’t been able to keep in touch with the meeja world have jumped onto the mental ’elf bandwagon.

Divisional Sunday

A close match initially, a Texans’ rookie QB throwing picks, which the Patriots took advantage from, another home team win; as we expected in cold, wet and snowy New England.
    Go Rams, Go Rams, Go, Go, Go! in wet and much snowier Chicago. Evens at half time and at the end of Q3. Crap. 17-all at full time and OT after a Chicago Fail Mary didn’t in the LAR end zone.
    A quick stop by the Bears. A pick by the Rams! Into field goal range, 42 yards for the kick, the first away team win of the weekend. Yay!

Translation

When Bier Smarmer says he is ‘turning the country around’, he actually means that he is ‘running it into the ground’.
    But we’re close to tautology on this now.

It goes on and on

The Fantasist of the Exchequer is trying to blame the erosion of her financial ‘headroom’ on Smarmer U-turns. That’s her alibi for more manifesto destroying tax rises this year.

Off-beam

Former (sacked, but not as often as the Mandelsleaze) Labour minister Lord Blunkett thinks the U-turn government goes two steps forward and one step back.
    Close, but it’s actually one step forward and two back.
    Blunk also thinks a Farage government would have all the sophistication of primary school kids driving a JCB. Something we’re more than used to after 18 months of Smarmer’s Army.

Killer

The RSPB is warning that Edstone Milipede’s vanity project plan for a wind farm on Berwick Bank near the border with England will drive Scottish puffins into extinction.
    Not that he’s bovvered, of course.
    The electricity company SSE claims that the wind farm will combat climate change, which is a black lie. It will have Nett Zero measurable effect on the global climate, as everyone with more than 2 working brain cells knows.

Wonkism

Idiots at the National Portrait Gallery are claiming that pictures of Lawrence of Arabia in Arab dress are cultural appropriation rather than a secret agent blending in with the local population at the invitation of the local leader. The NPC has chosen not to reaveal the number of sensitive souls who have collapsed in a heap on the floor on seeing the pix.

And further . . .

NATO has underpinned Western security since World War II. There is now a debate ongoing over what award Trump should get for changing that to undermined.

Get out of that

President Trump reckons that he should get a Nobel Peace Prize for each of the 8 wars that he claims to have ended. [Anyone got a list of them? Ed.] Extending that rule, starting a war with Venezuela and going after 8 NATO members over his attempt to annex Greenland means that he owes the Norwegians one peace prize now.

It’s everywhere

What has the National Education Union been spending members’ money on? A KC-led investigation which has been running since 2024 into anti-Semitism following many complaints by Jewish teachers.

Holding the line

There’s one British officer among the tiny squad of NATO troops going to Greenland to back up Danish troops in the face of threats from the Ayatollah Bunchatrump.
    But can we spare him? (Or her?)

The end of free speech

Our wonderful Labour government is being accused of trying to sneak in a blasphemy law by banning criticism of Moslems and their un-Britisch practices. Just no liking Islam will be an excuse for a public execution if the activists get their way.
    This is an obvious breach of the ’uman bluddy rights of everyone, Moslems included, and a way to sneak back non-crime, non-event logging by the police.

Today’s Observation #2

We have a government which is consistent. Everything it tells us involves at least one lie.

Trump thinks he’s Put’n?

He wants, he gets; that’s his new rule for the world. You got what he wants, tough for you. Hand it over or else.

Divisional Saturday

The blundering Bills did well to get to overtime in Denver before being done in. The 49ers managed more blunders in Seattle. Never looked dangerous. Murdered.

Mr. Predictable

The thing aboutr Smarmer is that he’s been found out. He’ll swear blind he’s going to do half a dozen wonderful things. But when it comes to the point of delivery, he’s nowhere to be seen And everyone knows he’s in his bunker, concocting the next List of Lies.

On the Web to make money

What do you have to do to be an influenzer in the field of good looks? One weird Yank went as far as bashing himself in the face with a hammer to break bones so that he could rearrange them.
    As is typical with the interweb, influenzers present BS as validated science. Because they’re allowed to.

Today’s Observation #1

What is Bier Smarmer’s Coalition of the Willing lacking? Some Members who are both Ready and Able.

Undefined Danger

We’re supposed to panic about the presence of plastic micro-particles in woodland without being told how 500 of them per square metre compares with their natural rivals.
    That’s bits of rock, plants, insect and animal bodies and bones, etc., of which there are zillions in circulation.
    The attitude seems to be: “Just stick ‘toxic’ in front of ‘plastic’. That will get the sods jumping!”

Just not possible

Why won’t the government ban the gross porn-purveyer X-witter? Because it’s a prime repository for Labour lies and propaganda aimed at those who get their ‘news/ from the interweb.

File under ‘W’ for Wrong

Trump the Annexer is threatening the UK with 10% tariffs, which will become 25% in June, if Denmark fails to hand its territory of Greenland to the US like pronto.
    All our PM can do is . . . nothing. No surprise.

Forget cheaper energy

How very Labour that Edstone Milipede is heading for the Chancellor’s job at the next deckchair shuffle. His Nett Zero bill to the nation has been exposed as guesses based on fantasy. The Climate Change Committee’s guesses are half of more realistic figures as the true cost of wind and solar soars. And then there’s all the rest on top of this.
    The end cost of Milipede’s blundering will be several more trillions than the fantasists’ top whack of £7.6 trillion.

File under ‘U’ for Useless

Today’s Sunday Post is irate about two puppy farmers, who were convicted of neglect two years ago after raking in millions, not yet having been sentenced by the snail-like Scottish judicial system.
    No explanation is on offer as the Crown Office, the Procurator Fiscal Service and the Scottish Government do not comment on individual cases which expose their failures.
● Despite huge backlogs, the SNP is planning to cut the budgets for justice and prisons.

Crossword stoopidity

Q: putting peg (3)
A: anyone who thinks a golf tee is needed on a putting green is a bozo, like this crossword compiler.

KA-POP!

What are the doombuggers offering us for 2026? Something worse than the sub-prime mortgage shenannygoats which broke the big banks (except Barclays) in 2008. An action replay of the 1929 crash is on the way when the A.I bubble explodes. Probably because the power needed to run the huge A.I computers just won’t be available.

Slump in standards

A reduction in nett migration is giving the government a headache. Most of it is due to measures introduced during the end of the last Tory spell of government, which leaves no credit for Smarmer’s Army to claim.
    A significant part is due to those able to get the hell out of Labour’s mess doing so. And another significant part of the reduction is due to illegals finding that their free ride isn’t much cop under Labour and also getting the hell out.
    The overall result of the population change is worthwhile people being replaced by scroungers and small boaters, which is nothing for Labour to shout about.

Raspers

There’s another bit of Labour nastiness going on in Lewisham in south London. The local council is installing speed bumps designed to scrape the underside of expensive cars yet leave el cheapo models unscathed.

Get out of that

The Met, which employs over 300 staff with a criminal record, including shock-horror sex offenders, is in a numbers war with the USA.
    President Trump has given the Sadgeek Police Commish and cosmetic mayor a good booting over safety in the capital. The Met has pointed out that it is safer in terms of the murder rate than cities like Chicago (+333%), Noo Yawk (+248%) and Philly (+170%).

Cash termination

The Church of England’s customers are warning the bosses that if they start handing out virtue-flagging slavery payouts, they can forget cash going into collection boxes in churches.
    81% of those asked in a survey said that another charity would get their church cash. The slavery scam, invented by the now discredited and departed Archybish Wetby, has been roundly condemned as historically unfounded and lacking in any legal justification.

More hands in pockets

Something else on the Angrier Rayner workers’ rights list – loading businesses with a £60 million bill for attempting to protect pretendy sensitive staff from overheard hurty comments by dissatisfied customers and the inevitable demands for yet more compenbluddysation.

Could be

Questions have been asked. Why does Bier Smarmer have nothing to say about the eruption in Iran? Could it be that our ineffectual figurehead has realized that nothing he says matters, and anything he does witter will be held against him in the future?
    Just like his pledge to proscribe the murderous Revolutionary Guards in Iran, which was never delivered.

Well, it’s only fair

No taxation without representation. No local elections, no need to pay council tax to an illegitimate body?
    The Labour case that some councils will disappear in the next few years and the elections are a waste of money is without credibility. When was Labour ever bothered about wasting our money?

Smarmy Squirm

Bier Smarmer is trying to set up a battle with the EFU after his successor loses the next general election. He’s offering the EFU compenbluddysation if Reform UK undoes his Brexit betrayal.
    N. Farage, though, has pointed out that no government can impose conditions on its successor, and the Conservatives agree with him. How curious that Smarmer, the alleged legal eagle, doesn’t know this and that he’ll be wasting his time and our money on his pointless manoeuvrings. Which is what Labour does all the time, waste time and our money.

Another non-quitter

The boss of S.E. Water, £400K salary plus £115K bonus, has the good sense to live in an area of his fief which hasn’t been affected by loss of supply due to burst pipes, and he won’t be resigning anytime soon.

One incident vs a previous extended campaign

Should the Chief Constable of the West Midlands police farce be sacked for shaming the uniform? If the top coppers who tried to frame entertainers and Conservative politicians for child murders on the testimony of fantasists when Bier Smarmer was the Director of Public Prostitutions kept their jobs, and went higher in the ranks of law enforcement, why shouldn’t he?
    Why is Labour suddenly trying to pretend that evidence based on a pack of lies is shameful? And why aren’t the Labour local councillors who were behind the ban on visiting Israelis football fans being told to quit? Their Chief Constable is just a product of the left-wing obsession with favouring Islamists at the expense of everyone else.

Totally out of touch

Why does Sadgeek K’han’t need 15 armed police on duty round the clock to keep him and his family safe in the city where President Boris used to ride around alone on his bike?

Just effin useless

Q: How long does it take 43 snivel servants and 8 academics to translate 8 English words into Welsh?
A: Trick question. They didn’t.
    Even with the help of a Welsh dictionary, they managed to do only 4 of the words, and one was suspect, labelled as Wenglish; i.e. a straight copy of an English word with the spelling mucked about a bit.

A fair question

South-West Water failed to deliver supplies of its product to the homes and businesses of customers for days on end due to leaks and burst pipes. “Send in the Army,” yelled some. To do what, exactly?

They don’t like it up ’em

Why is Smarmer trying to get X-witter banned but not the other auntie-socalled meeja? Because too many people on X-witter are calling him an idiot and exposing left-wing hippocrisy?

Even Steven

About the same numbers of people are watching ViewTube as the BierBC, the ratings counter Barb has found. That’s the number of people who watch something for at least 3 consecutive minutes per month.
    Which sounds like about the time needed to decide that something is rubbish and can be switched off.

Today’s connection

1. To the pure, all things are pure.
2. To the deluded, reality has no connection.

An abuse nudged but not dented

The police are claiming a big success for their campaign to arrest migrants who are working illegally. Alas, their deportations amount to just 3.7% of current small boat arrivals under a government which ain’t bovvered about the invasion.

Another mystery

Freemasons are aghast that the bosses of the Metropolitan Police have made them a declarable institution. No more favours for those who can do a funny handshake? Unless the judicial review goes in the Masons’ favour.
p.s. The first thing I thought on seeing a picture of a cup of frothy coffee with a Masonic symbol stencilled on it was: “Is that the Loch Ness Monster?” The shape in the diamond-shaped frame sure looks like it!

Sadly delusional

The Business Sec., A. Turkey, has been enrolled in the International Bedwetters League after claiming that this High Street-wrecking government’s priority is to make sure businesses can thrive and flourish, and that our High Streets are full of life.
    She failed to add that as no one in government has ever held a proper job, Smarmer’s Army has no idea how to do this.

Just silence

The reason why the luvvie Left are ignoring the carnage in Iran has been revealed. Luvvies are focussed only on microagressions such as wolf whistles and hurty stuff on the interweb. They are unable to deal with macroagression involving the slaughter of hundreds of people by one of ‘their’ regimes.
    It’s Islamofetishism in the round; coupled with the fact that only Palestinians count, as far as luvvies are concerned.

Plotting pratfall

What do you do with a saboteur? Conservative leader K. Badenuff booted her leadership rival out of the Shadow Cabinet and into touch when his plan to do the dirty on her was uncovered.
    Now that the snackstabber Jenrick has defected to Reform UK, will he be welcome if Mr. Farage from the garage keeps having to look over his shoulder for a knife sneaking up to stab him in the back as a preliminary to a takeover?

Lawyer locked

Serbia Smarmer is getting a booting for not leaping to support the protesters against Islamic fascism in Iran. He is said to be scared to do anything in case the protesters are violating some obscure and discredited clause in international law.

Bias to the very borders

A Grauniad columnist is getting a booting for claiming that an of colour contestant being voted off a TV game show is evidence that the UK is hopelessly rachelist. White contestants being voted off a show proves nothing, according to the same source.

Just give us 17%

An online charity fundraiser is under scrutiny by the regulator for casually sticking a donation to itself onto donations to other charities and making it difficult to avoid paying the extra. Which is additional to credit card costs and a chunk of cash recovered from the target charity to which the donation is made.

Spooky!

Everything is going ghost. As well as ghost number plates, which evade fine-seeking cameras, we have ghost cannabis suppliers, who dish out super-strong products to the anxious. For a suitable fee. With those on benefits getting 20% off. And the police can’t do anything about cannabis possession if it’s medical even though cannabis abuse is swamping the NHS with extra customers.

Unreal world

Bier Smarmer assuming that people will want to be in a pub at 2 a.m. is just confirming that he doesn’t know that everyone else gets up long before lunchtime, unlike MPs.
    That’s MPs who have bars subsidized by the taxpayer to save them from having to pay their own way.
    Smarmer is also so out of touch that he hasn’t grasped that staffing and running costs make keeping a pub open to such an ungodly hour destroys profitability.

Clarity needed

If X-witter’s A.I pornobot can no longer deep fake real people, where does that leave the likes of Bier Smarmer, who can’t possibly be a real person.

Addictive, switch off

Well, well! Vast numbers of young people, I read, are upset by the ‘enshittification’ [great word!] of their lives by ravenous anti-social meeja.
    If they are now ignoring this distraction from real life, maybe there’s hope for some of them.

You too, buster

Maybe someone needs to mention to Serbia Smarmer the next time he does his ‘Tory Chaos’ rant that his lot have created much more chaos in just 14 months than the Tories managed in 14 years. And that was with Trivial Democrap help from the likes of Eddy Gravy, the Post Office minister who let Horizon Happen.

Stationary Tier

What comfort can Greenland’s native Esquimaux take from Bier Smarmer’s declaration that he stands with Denmark over their future?
    Not that much if the ‘standing with’ involves just standing and doing nothing and looking like the chump he is. Not enuff hot air to melt a single snowflake.

Otherwise engaged

Am I going to watch a 2-part miniseries about toppled BierBC icon Huv Edwards? Nah. Never watched him when he was the most important person in the universe.
    No point in starting now.

Thirsty time

Water companies in the south-east and south-west of England are giving their customers an involuntary Dry January. No water out of the taps, lots of alibis, blame it on burst pipes.

More A.I fiction

A fantasy generated by Gooble’s A.I is being offered as the reason why the West Midlands police banned Israeli football fans from a match at Aston Villa last year.
    The real reason for the ban was the local Moslems plotting to attack the visitors. But the police covered that up. To help Labour to retain the Moslem vote?
    Pity the police didn’t use the Musk X-witter A.I system. They might have got a bit suspicious when it coughed up pix of naked football fans.
p.s. It’s not just X-witter than can do deepfake porn. Gooble’s A.I and others also can do it on demand.