More of this would be good

‘His remains are in custody at a police station’, implying that the cops short-circuited the legal process on someone who had it coming and saved the taxpayer a bomb, and only the lawyers are weeping.

Nothing wrong with that

Why shouldn’t soldiers use a picture of J. Corbyn for target practice. Freedom of self expression is a basis ’uman bloody right.

Incredible TV ad No. 149

Does anyone at all believe that an insurance company would send a guy who behaves like a cheap American hood round to help out someone whose rival insurance company has left them down? Pur-lease!

They’re all at it

Nice to know that the Democrats are less virtuous than they pretend. “Creepy Uncle Joe” Biden, their presidential hopeful, has been included in the growing list of political sex pests. “Fake news,” is his response.

TV adverts that defy reason

We will meet nearly 80,000 people in our lives so we have to drink instant coffee. Logic, but not as we know it, Jim.

Too obvious

“PM will not quit and may lead Tories into snap poll” – has to be an April Fool. Either that, or it’s Larry the cat’s cat-flap in the front door of 10 Downing Street.

The power of progress

New technology always has a snag. What could it be in the case of the wonderful gadget which fills a room with either cooled or heated purified air? Without bothering to check, my guess would be that the filters cost a fiver a time and they last about three days under heavy usage.