Alternatively

There are far too many scaremongers around who are trying to get us panicking about Putin the Poisoner starting a nuclear war.
    Well, if he does, that will spare lots of us from being buggered around even more by Smarmer’s Army!

Where’s Guy Fawkes when you need him?

It’s traditional to be outraged if an enemy state sends an assassination squad to knock off your political leader.
    But we’d have a day of national rejoicing if the Iranians sent some Islamist fanatics to knock off Beer Smarmer. And Rachel Thieves happened to be standing next to him at the time.
    Not that they’re likely to do it, knowing anyone who replaces him will do a better job of running the UK, and that’s against the Iranians’ national interest.

Medicine on the cheap

Watching TV comedy shows is as good for dry eye syndrome as chemical drops, the experts reckon. Shame the BBC and others have cancelled content that’s funny, or even mildly amusing and just given us dreary rants.

Up yours, mate

When did it become illegal for people to tweak photographs so that they show the scene they want to see? All these newspaper jerks who are moaning at Princess Kate for doing it, like the one in the Daily Disaster last week, deserve a trip to a ducking stool & a good dunking in a stagnant pond.

Spin this!

Our beery prime minister and his stooges keep claiming they’re going to grow the economy. But they spend most of their time talking it down – so much so that economic growth has stalled.
    We’re back to the good old days of 1984 and doublethink.

Blank Screen

Q: What do you do when your Virgin TV connection stops working?
A: Start hoping the buggers will fix it in time for you watch the end of the programme you’ve been watching for 25 minutes.

Positive Spin

That was extremely cute – pointing out that our British Navy isn’t contaminating the atmosphere with greenhouse gases because most of it isn’t doing anything but lurking around in naval bases and not going to sea.

Safe bet

What are the odds against our government going after the cash if the German goverment sends unwanted migrants to facilities in Rwanda paid for by British taxpayers?
    A million to one?
    A billion to one?
    After all, it’s only our money, and we have lots more for this rotten government to steal.

That should work

Is our beer-guzzling prime minister going to let the NHS die by leaving it in the charge of the idiots running it? No, he’s going to save it by banning junk food advertising on TV.
    What planet is he from?
    It certainly isn’t Earth.

Whizz Day

The Sun is shining and my Virgin Media broadband is delivering a reasonable speed. All the soggy tunnels must have dried out.

Transient Aspiration

The things you see on the WWW! Someone with an obviously phoney handle was claiming to be in touch with an assassin on the dark web and wanting help with quote ‘taking out the most deserving of Starmer’s ministers’ unquote.
    When I went back for another look at it half an hour later, the post had gone. It would be really great if it was because someone had scared up the cash shortfall. But, sadly, life ain’t like that.
p.s. I wonder who he/she had in mind?

More Evasion

We are invited to pretend that variable pricing applied to tickets for pop concerts; instead of to something essential; will bring about the end of civilization as we know it.
    This is just typical of the sort of BS we’ve come to expect from pretend regulators when they can’t be bothered to do the job they’re supposed to. Expect a lot more of it with Smarmer’s Army around.

More for the crossword

Clue: shows an obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable (8)
Answer: Smarmers

Interesting concept!

The Smarmer Stair Lift to whizz donors who lack talent past all the better qualified people and into top civil service jobs!

Got it right this time

Great!TV are repeating The New Avengers and they actually managed to find episode 1 of series 1 this time; the story about the Nazi monks. We got episode 10 passed off as episode 1 at the beginning of August.

Not going to happen

We’re getting a lot of noise from the government about the NHS but nothing about the real problems. The cash blown on things like diversity crap. The tiers of surplus managers. The clowns who can’t negotiate a price for supplies that’s fair to the taxpayer and all the rest. Because, let’s face it, Labour isn’t the party that gets anything worthwhile done.

One more

Something else the trade union weeping crocodiles could have done was threaten to cut off their donations to the Labour party over the WFA theft issue. But that’s not going to happen as it would get in the way of Labour bungs to the unions.

Nasty is as nasty does

The sheer volume of wibble and excuses we’ve had from Beer Smarmer over evicting the former prime minister’s portrait from the Thatcher Room at Downing Street reveals that he’s very embarrassed by being found out as a nasty bastard.
    Not that there is any danger of him doing the right thing and putting the portrait back. Or of behaving like a decent human being in future.

Well spotted

“Oceans of crocodile tears” – that was the description of the trade union bruvvers posturing about Labour’s theft of the pensioner Winter Fuel Allowance for their members’ benefit.
    No danger of the bruvvers turning down the stolen cash as a gesture of solidarity, was also on offer.

Flooded Tunnels?

Lots of rain yesterday, intermittent wonkiness of the Virgin Media broadband connection. Could it be due to floods surging through their fibre tunnels and damping things down?
    Still not much cop today.

Better Bargain

There was an advert in the paper for progressive multi-focus glasses that leave you needing only the one pair.
    Shame Beer Smarmer’s crew didn’t spot it.
    Only 20 quid, too, not thousands and thousands of quids.

Should happen right away!

There’s a strong case for making lying with statistics a capital offence. That’s for things like claiming pensioners will get a bumper rise next year, when someone on the old pension will get 4% of 8 grand, or £320, which is probably just a round of drinks for a train driver whose pay has gone up by Ten Grand.

More Hippocrisy

Who is the nastiest bastard on the planet? Has to be a tie involving all the Labour MPs who voted to steal the Winter Fuel Allowance from pensioners.
    This is something Labour called the single biggest attack on pensioners in a generation when they were in Opposition and trying to encourage the Tories to do it to give them something to yell about.

How unsurprising

 We’re ‘enjoying’ our coldest apology for summer for a decade. Meanwhile, the global warming fraudsters are fiddling the books to back up a claim that the planet has had its hottest ever summer.
    Which means what? We’re entitled to sue the bastards who stole our sunshine for compensation?

We should be told

By the way, how many pairs of specs does Kreepy Kier Smarmer have and why does he need more than two pairs, one for distance and one for reading?

Not much warming

This is definitely the coldest summer since 2015. The Mansion cat usually becomes an outside cat at this time of year, turning up only when she wants some grub and appreciation.
    This year, she spent about 3 weeks as an outsider, then she reverted to an indoor cat who goes out for a brief look from time to time, stays out when it’s sunny, and likes to sit by an open conservatory door, looking at the great outside without being there.

Another way

The police in Glasgow had to put up barriers between two rival gangs of alleged anti-racialist demonstrators at the weekend just gone.
    Why? To prevent the self-righteous mobs from clobbering each other with their virtue flags to prove that one lot was holier than the others!

The way it goes

Boeing’s Starliner astronaut transport vehicle had so many problems when it took a couple of astronauts to the ISS that NASA decided to leave them there until next year, when a Musk vehicle will be available for the return to Earth trip.
    Naturally, when the Starliner vehicle was brought back down this month, everything worked.

Nailed it

That’s brilliant! Describing Labour’s tax assault on the middle class as a Putin-style ‘special fiscal operation’. And it legitimizes vigorous responses.

Some welcome relief

It’s really good to have a recording of Jeff Wayne’s rock opera based on The War of the Worlds (by H.G. Wells, let us not forget) when there’s nowt tempting on TV.

Practical Tailoring

These free suits our scrounging prime minister gets; are they made without pockets, as someone suggested, because Beer never feels inclined to put his hand in one if it’s one of his own?
    No wonder he’s reckoned to be worth eight million quid if he never pays for anything.

Still on message

It was said a decade ago, but substitute any current Labour MP’s name and ambition and the concept still works.

 

Job part done

We don’t seem to have heard much about the global warming fraudsters, who were insisting flat blocks need a thermal cladding. Are we expected to stuff more cash in the pockets of the legal trade for another 7 years whilst that’s inquired into?
    And the fraudsters being allowed to get away with it rather than the likes of Ed Milipede ending up in the Tower of London?

Just pointless

Why would a crossword compiler describe Ruth Rendell as a ‘late’ author? They don’t do it for Dickens or Shakespeare, and her books are as readily available as they were when she was alive.

He did it again!

Red bikes at the front early in the 27 lap MotoGP race. Some bumping but no crashing, Bagnaia ahead of Martin. Acosta slid off on lap 5, Morbidelli gone from 3rd a couple of laps later.
    Mark Marquez was in the lead with 19 to go. Martin dropped out of contention. Despite a shredded rear try, MM held on to a 3-second lead over Bagngia for another win. Bastianini was a distant third. Martin ended up 15th with one point.

Not much drama

An atypical Moto2 start was Lopez crashing at the end of lap 1/22. Arbolino was the early leader from Canet, who managed to stay on his bike this week. And he took the lead as the half-way mark approached.
    Ogura went past Arbolino, then past Canet with 4 to go. Vietti crashed out of 4th on lap 20, leaving Arbolino secure in 3rd.

Message not arriving

We’re still getting lots of Afrons in TV adverts aimed at a UK population which is around 90% Eurons. Which makes it just routine virtue flagging and invites us to ignore these adverts even more completely than others. And that Afron bloke taking the mickey out of Brian Blessed in Flash ads is the pits.

Bit of a miracle!

The reward for taking the lead for 20 laps of Moto3 in San Marino was a double long-lap penalty swindle for Piqueras. And we had a bunch of riders crashing off at the second turn. Ortola & Holgado pulled a lead on the next 3 for a while.
    There was shuffling in the lead group as the end drew near and crashes further back. Despite his penalty, Piqueras was leading on the last lap! And he held on for his first win! Holgado and Ortola took the rest of the podium places. Great stuff.

Stickability

It’s amazing how things can stick in the mind. A correspondent who saw the New Avengers episodes when they were first broadcast in the 1970s is watching the current repeats on the Great!TV channel, which has reached the episodes made in Canada.
    The trio were looking for a top Soviet agent and, 20 minutes in, my correspondent suddenly remembered how the whole thing worked out, digging back 45 years!
    And he also remembered the twist in the next repeate episode, which features Lake Ontario disappearing.

Next!

If the bloke who’s being considered as the next manager for the England football team can’t be arsed to join in the National Anthem before an international match, then he’s out of the same box as the Beer Smarmer gang and belongs in the bin, tout suite!

End of working week report

My Virgin Media broadband is working okay at the moment. But next Saturday – who knows?

Not on, mate

Mark Dolan of GB Views was postulating that this will be the last Labour government ever. Sounds like a great idea. Just one small problem. The lesson of history is that Labour always makes a bog of things and the Tories have to be put back in office to make things work again.
    But the electorate ain’t much cop at learning from history.

DIY can work

If Labour MPs are upset by being called liars and/or thieves, they have simple remedy in their own hands – stop telling lies and/or stealing from us. The same applies to those MPs who are exposed as nasty bastards. Except for the ones who have it so deeply ingrained in their character that they are beyond redemption.

We know, we know!

Of course this old TV programme depicts attitudes at the time of the production. If it’s not sci-fi, what the hell else would you expect? We don’t need the BS trigger warnings.

Desperate for a chat line?

Pundits were asking if Labour is the new nasty party the other night. Which kind of ignores the fact that Labour has always been the nasty party and it’s nothing new.

Two-Truth reporting?

There’s something rather two-faced about newspapers revealing that the arms not being sold to Israel won’t affect its war with Hamas in the news section, and then doing an editorial claiming the reverse.
    An adaptation of Labour’s Two-Tier policing?

Health Benefit?

Is uncertainty supposed to be good for you? On Tuesday, my Virgin Media broadband connection was crawling along like an arthritic snail and doing things like Blogger updates took forever.
    On Wednesday, it was zipping along. Yesterday morning, it was okay, then crap, then okay again. Right now, crap.
    It would be nice if not knowing if you’re about to have an easy time or you are going to struggle endlessly, and the consequent reduction in complacency, makes you live forever. But somehow, I suspect life just ain’t like that.

Not what he wrote

Was Ray Bradbury, the author, going to get a mention in the starting credits for the 2018 film of Fahrenheit 451, which I recorded to skip the ads? Right down in the dumps at the end. Maybe as reminder that the film makers used his familiar title but wrote their own version of it.
    Is all the book-burning a rather daft idea? Maybe not with a government as lovely as our Labour lot, who were put in charge on the basis of votes from 20% of the electorate. That’s a certain recipe for abuses of all sorts.
    And what about Mr. Bradbury’s army of people who had memorized a book to prevent it from being cancelled? They never got a look in.

Annoyingly Daft

Why don’t MacGuyver, the A Team and all the rest grab the bad guy’s gun after slugging him. Just leaving it makes no sense at all.

Questions to whom?

What’s Beer Smarmer good for? Giving the late nite bloke on GB Views a good laugh by accusing Dishy Rishi of being the prime minister five times when Beer was doing Questions to the Prime Minister.

Just Evil

Is there some sort of rule that only nasty bastards get a job as a minister when there’s a Labour government? That would explain why deputy PM Rayner is making noises about abolishing the 25% council tax discount for people living on their own.

No clean hands

Someone needs to mention to the Israeli prime minister that every time he goes on about 1,200 Israelis murdered by Hamas, that reminds us that his army has written off 40,000 Palestinians in Gaza over the last 10 months. Moral high ground abandoned rather than lost.
    And there’s no point in him lambasting Dippy Dave Lammy. Everyone knows he’s a chump.

Easy Solution

If mobile phone thieves on a motorbike have over a 99% chance of getting away with it, why hasn’t the government declared it an imaginary hate crime to force some action out of our police forces?

Another gone

What is it about people who run Good Thing outfits like the Red Cross which makes them so easily misled by the gender-benders and similar trivial minorities with a loud voice?

Great minds? Cliché?

Things can get a bit repetitious. A plane crash for the A-Team. And guess what for the New Avengers when I watched a recording to skip the adverts? And what was the Chinese bad guy called? Sod Choy? Nope, Soo Choy, cloth-eyes!

Bad enough to embarrass severely

There’s been a clear shift in the attitude of the token lefties, who make up the numbers on late-night GB Views progs. They know they are being asked to defend the increasingly indefensible, the more abuses we get from Smarmer and his gang, and this shows itself as a loss of intensity in the apologists and more ‘not me, Guv’ separation from Labour excesses.

Normal Service

Lots more weasel words after a dozen more illegals drown in the Channel. It’s perfectly clear that no one in authority is making any effort to stop them or it would have happened years ago.

No one voted for this

What sort of country are we living in if an 80-year-old can’t take his dog for an evening walk in a park without being murdered by a gang of feral kids?

No great recommendation

Is democracy such a wonderful thing if it puts a corrupt regime in charge of Israel and a Labour government in charge here with the support of just 20% of the electorate? Is this any better than what happens in the Middle East countries which are yaa-booed by the usual suspects for not being democracies?

Get out of that? Not going to happen!

Of course, there’s always an alibi. The best one on offer is that there’s no point in taking anyone to court whilst judges are allowed to make up their own human rights laws to let even the worst bad guys off. Not something Smarmer the lawyer seems inclined to do anything about.

No go zone

It has been pointed out that the Tour de France would never do a trip through Wales. Why? Because the place is infested with 20 mph zones, bikers can go faster than that but team support cars which try to keep up with them would be slaughtered with speeding tickets.
    There’s no point inviting a load of aggro when there are much saner places to visit.

Another failure

No sign of the police being ordered to stop messing about with their logs of imaginary hate crimes and get on with the job they’re paid to do; going after real criminals.
    So much for any claims of Labour being on the side of law & order.

Obfuscation Tango

The Lucy Letby saga seems to be a real beanfeast for the legal trade with all sorts of people having a go at the inquiry for ignoring objections from people who are exposing gaping holes in the alleged evidence offered by the crown.
    It’s Arthur C. Clarke’s Fourth Law in action again: For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert. To which one could add: And no one will ever do a rating of the experts to be able to spot which ones are cranks.

Wreckers In Action

Criminal conservationists are busy beaver-bombing – releasing beavers into places which they think would suit the creatures without official permission and without thinking through the environmental consequences for farmers and others in the area.
    The bombers are confident that a Labour government which ignores boat people and other inconveniences will also turn a blind eye on the beavers.

Really?

People who keep taking selfies with their phone are suffering from thanatophobia, a morbid fear of death, we are invited to believe. But we already have a word for them: narcissists.

One to avoid

The NatWest bank is still up to its debanking activities. And having to reverse the process when found out.
    Which doesn’t exactly give you any confidence in them. Not that the mob in charge will be all that worried as along as the huge salaries and bonuses continue to flow.

Steed Night

There he was as a sidekick in A View To A Kill, a Bond film I’d recorded to be able to skip the adverts. There he was again in a recorded episode of The New Avengers (series 2, episode 5, 06/10/1977), which I’d chosen in preference to what the TV companies had to offer.
    Also featured were the guys who would become Bodie & Doyle in The Professionals at the end of 1977.

Not without shocks

More blue sky over Spain than here for the MotoGP race – and was that a rumble of thunder I heard as I type this?
    Marc Marquez took the lead and kept it. Olivera crashed at the end of lap 1/23. Quateraro lost his bike on lap 6. Martin gapped 3rd & 4th.
    Alex Marquez established a small lead over Bagnaia in 3rd place but lost the gap when he ran wide, and they ended up crashing each other out. Racing incident, said the comms.
    Six laps to go, Acosta inherited 3rd. No change at the front. Yes, that was definitely thunder here. Another Spanish winner.

Inconvenient fact

Stopping fraud and incompetence at the Department of Work & Pensions would save the nation £14 billion per year.
    But if you’re too useless to do anything about putting a dent in that enormous sum, you can always steal the winter fuel allowance from pensioners.
    Which will upset Gordon Brown, I’ve been told, who was terribly proud about inventing it.

A few shocks

Two crashes and a rider crossing the gravel on lap 1/19 in the Moto2 race. Another crash at turn 1 of lap 2. Arbolino took the lead from Jake Dixon on lap 4.
    Adleguer tagged Öncü on lap 7 and had a spectacular crash. Dixon regained the lead. Öncü was third in the closing stages after getting past Lopez.
    The front four finished in the same positions but Joe Robert provided a spot of drama on the last lap by crashing out.

Despite overnight rain

The Moto3 race in Aragon was in dry, sunny conditions. Alonso zoomed into a lead, and there was some overtaking in the strung out field. One rider did some off-tracking on lap 5 and another fell off.
    Viejer closed on Alonso from a chase group of 6, and went past him with 6 to go. Alonso started going backwards; tyres gorn off; and finished 4th.
    Rueda, Spanish, took his first win ahead of Viejer and Luretta, who was chuffed to be 3rd.

Just typical

It takes a Beer Smarmer to have a portrait of Lady Thatcher removed from the Thatcher Room at 10 Downing Street for the pathetic reason that being in the same room as a picture of someone who made a success of the job he’s currently bogging up makes him uncomfortable.
    Ah, diddums! What a creep.