More booting

Our Pretender Fantasist’s communications experts have told Jonah to stop being a scruffy, blokey, cartoon character who’s always darn the pub or at a football match. It is giving him a totally non-serious image that confirms to voters that he is just a pillock.
● The Cabinet Office is recruiting 50 more stooges; at our expense; to try to manipulate the meeja more in its preferred direction.