Havoc by design

At a loose end, I read an article in the Daily Disaster about the government’s directive to industry to create Menopause Champions instead of turning the page. And the plan turns out to be based on bogus data!!
    It’s just a progressive cause with no science behind it. And something which will doom the employment prospects of women in their 40s and 50s.

Sure, it does

Any sort of their Italian pizza for £9.99, according to the TV ad. Does that apply to the 14-foot wide version?

Small spelling mistake

What President $thump actually promised was to make America grate again – as in slicing the country’s enemies down to small bitz. But due to the efforts of a cloth-eared rotten typist, that grate was transposed to great.

Could happen

Staff at the government disinformation service, OfCon, are threatening a strike over a pay claim for 6.2% in recognition of their increasing work load.
    The constant rewriting to keep up with the prime mayor’s U-turns is a source of stress. As is the need to do the work in a secure office environment rather than when shirking @ home.

Lengthy pause

A Reform UK government will shut down the asylum system for 5 years, Mr. Farage has announced. Not a tactic likely to win the votes of the legal grifters making a bomb out of bogus claims.
    But will that be enuff time to let the courts and the snivel service catch up with their monumental backlogs?

Freezer assaults

Hackers have sabotaged the freezers of around 400 supermarkets in France. Ancient remotely controlled systems were switched to defrost, spoiling food worth millions of euros. Put’nstan is the main suspect.

The axe wielded selectively

Heat pump grants, school refurbishments and road projects are going to get the chop to put a trickle of cash into the Defence Brown Hole. Nothing from benefits, of course. That’s going to be propped up via assaults on landlords and pensioners.