The official explanation

Are all Dubai’s tourist spots deserted because of the threat of missles from Iran? Nope. It’s because all the hotels are closed for renovation.

Not bovvered

One in the eye for President Thump. Chinese tanker ships were strolling through his Hormuz blockade in both directions and being ignored right after it was declared.

Cold rather than hot air

What’s the Department for Energy Security & Edstone Crap doing to tackle the costa living crisis and the price of energy?
    “We’re supporting de-escalation in the Middle East,” a spokes declared.
    “How?”
    No answer.

No cards? We’re off!

What’s a good way to upset the Iranians? Tell them you hold all the cards. Made them run out of the weekend ‘peace’ talks in Pakistan rather than walk.

How very dare you!

What’s a good way to stir up wokists in a small backwater village? Putting a poem mocking their obsessions in a parish magazine worked a treat on the wokists of a village on the Devon-Dorset border.

One they missed

Given the number of records claimed for the latest NASA space tourists, it comes as rather a surprised that the temperature reached by the ablative heat shield during the ‘daring’ re-entry into the Earth’s atmosphere wasn’t claimed as another new world record.

Deja Vu

I’m getting to the end of Rogue Shooter’s 500 pages and as it was 20-odd years ago, so it remains today. No one had any confidence in New Labour after about 7 years of waste and chicanery and Smarmer’s Army is in the same state after just 21 months.
    Typical is the former Labour minister, who did the defence review which has been on Smarmer’s desk since last August, giving him a vote of total no-confidence following noises from Bier about its publication being delayed by at least a year.
    No one surprised.