Clunking fist descends

Italy and Portugal have both chickened out of suspending vexatious EFU border checks after some behind the scenes booting. Greece remains the only less-hassle destination for visitors from the UK, and expects to do very well out of it.

Still gone

The conveniently missing McSweety phone ended up in a second-hand shop in Peckham, the police discovered. It was sold but returned by a customer who couldn’t get it to work as it had been shut down remotely.
    The bloke at the shop was arrested for handling stolen goods. The phone, and any Mandelsleaze stuff still on it, remains missing in action.

Life’s complications

The Pope has revealed that he had trouble getting his bank in his home town of Chicago to change his details when he moved to Italy. An operator put the phone down on him when he told her that, actually, he’s The Pope.
    He then had to get a minion to chivvy the boss of the Chicago bank to get heads banged together and the job done.

More spivery

FIFA is getting another booting for exploiting World Cup fans. This time, the disgust is over charging $375 for T-shirts which look like they cost a couple of bucks to make in China.

No deal

President Thump doesn’t seem to be having much luck with his campaign to intimidate Iran’s dicktaters. He’s rapidly running out of excuses for not resuming bombing the FK out of them.

Not any sort of saviour

Let us not be in any doubt that it was due to the antics of Angrier Robot as well as Uncle Bier and the rest that got Labour a kicking from the electorate. The last thing we need is doing what she wants.
    How was an uneducated shop steward able to buy an £800 grand seaside holiday home; on which she failed to pay the right amount of tax; and whose pockets are she in? That’s what we need to know now.

Patriot Gold

There is now a 23-foot statue of President Trump ‘made of gold’ at his personal golf course in Florida. Which leaves the rest of us wondering how long it will be before some enterprising crook strolls off with it to find out how many millions of bucks it’s worth melted down. Or ends up disappointed by gold paint.