Going soft

There is an increasing suspicion that our prime mayor, despite his denials, is going soft on the slavery reparations ishue. Mr. U-Turn is expected to sneak cash for scroungers out of our pockets using the foreign aid label. He’s not a guy to be trusted.

Hostile services at it again

Put’nstan is getting the blame for a series of hoax bomb calls which forced planes to make emergency landings in 4 European countries and disrupted flights from the UK.

Arrogant immigrant

A Sudanese migrant is under arrest for an act of marine piracy. He thought it would be okay to steal a trawler at Ramsgate and use it to bring his family here from France to scrounge off us.
    He managed to do enough damage to turn the boat into a write-off before the crew struggled out of their bunks and confronted him.

Trigger tossers

There is serious ongoing daftitude about. A musical about Scottish culture being performed in London has a trigger warning for ‘bagpipes that can be loud’. But what is really amazing is that there isn’t a warning about human beings moving about on the stage.
● A musical for next year about the life of Anne Boleyn, the second wife of King Henry VIII, has a trigger warning about beheading.

Our fate?

Pop, pop, BARABAM! Again yesterday evening (Friday). Is it going to be Guy Fawkes Nite for the rest of the year?

Down a bit

The price of Esso petrol near me is slipping a penny at a time. Was 172.9, now 171.9. Diesel, however, remains stuck next door to two quid per litre.

Government created slump

Why are young people unemployable? Because Labour has shoved the cost of giving them a job up by three times the rate of inflation since 2024. Kids can’t add profit to a business.