Hyper-hyperbole

Crazed gunman killed by Secret Service agents after opening fire outside the White House?
    If you look at the map included with this hysterical newspaper story, the action was two streets away from Chateau Trump; half a mile away? Maybe more? Not exactly ‘outside’.

Update

The police are still thrashing about desperately, trying to pin something, anything, on Prince Andrew. The Thames Valley mob have diverted their most experienced special investigators away from real crime to this case. They are that desperate for something to show for all the effort and cash blown.

Schmustice

An assault by a thug and his 20-year-old son leaved a PC on crutches. The son gets a joke sentence of 3 years and 10 months and spends only 82 days inside.
    The father’s joke sentence was 4 years and 3 months. Out next week under Labour’s soft on crime theme?

Social Schmustice

The thuggish brothers who attacked police officers at Manchester airport are not going to face a third trial after two flops, the Can’t Prosecute Service has decided.
    Their brief moaned that their lives have been ruined by anti-social meeja posts. Sounds a cheaper way of showing them the error of their ways than bunging them in gaol!

Beans spilled

A top bod in the EFU burrocracy has revealed what Smarmer’s Brexit Betrayal will include. That’s the UK joining the eurozone and forget a Thatcher Discount on all the stuff that’s of no value to us, which will mean that we pay three times more than the previous ripoff fee.

Nothing new

How to avoid a U-turn on not banning anti-social meeja for under 16s? Bier Smarmer and his technology whizz minister, Liz, had to resort to one of those consultations which go on and on and on and on.

Mobility

What’s the weirdest part of being in hospital? someone asked me the other day. Based on my experiences last May, it has to be wheelchairs. Zooming along the corridors on your way to a ward is fair enuff, but when you’re supposed to be well enough to go home?
    Okay, you might be on the road to recovery but it’s still the fastest and most efficient way to get you to the transport homewards.