Not helping

On the one side, we have the latest secretary of the GMB union in Scotland declaring that the country must re-industrialize as a matter of urgency.
    On the other, we have our cosmetic prime mayor sitting on his fat bum over spending the £200 million allocated to regenerating the industrial site at Grangemouth.

Political dictionary

Fiscal rules: (fantasy concept) The people pay more and more tax whilst a Labour government digs its financial pothole even deeper instead of even pretending to repair it, and then blames everything on Mrs. Thatcher.

Not all Good Guys

Derbyshire Country Council (Reform) is getting a booting for being very good at vindictiveness. It has banned a local journalist who had the affrontery to expose the council’s harassment of an 81-year-old pensioner over access to her back garden gate using huge Lego-style concrete blocks.

Wrecking ball

Jonah Burnbum’s plan to rip up the electoral system will put more rachelists, bigots and eccentrics into the government, his Chancellor is warning him. So that’s Jonah’s agenda; eternal Labour plus a load of other idiots taxing us to bitz.

Tooth and . . . nothing!

Users of fat-jabs are at risk of a deficiency of the protein keratin, which can make their fingernails drop off! Just another sacrifice in the cause of less bulk.

Wot’s the plot, Jonah?

Edstone Milipede guaranteed a reduction of £300 in our energy bills. Burnbum is shoving them up by £300 and dragging his feet over exploiting our North Sea assets instead of importing oil and gas.
    Is he trying to convert us into a nation of hopeless blubberers, just like him?

Nothing to see

Our Prime Mayor is claiming that the Iranians were behind the non-event terror plot near RAF Fairford. Which puts the notion in the realm of fantasy for even more people.