Worthless bragging

More Smarmer tough talking has been exposed as hot air. He’s had to call off plans announced in March to reinterpret international law in a way that allows Put’nstan’s shadow fleet to be harassed when it enters UK waters.
    He’s scared of being called a pirate.

Another invasion

British mushrooms are in danger of being driven into extinction, experts are warning. Hobbyists are importing species from China and Japan, they are escaping into the wild and the experience from the Untied States is that they will soon be everywhere.

What???

Over half of TV viewers have to resort to subtitles, a survey for the Great! TV channel has found. Mumbling actors thanks to inept directors and poor sound quality got most of the blame but around one-third of Cockneys have trouble deciphering other regional accents.

Tell ’em like it isn’t

Being a gobsworth comes naturally to being a politician and gives those scrutinising them lotz of ammo. Such as Jonah Burnbum’s claim that most people are not bovvered about blokes pretending to be women invading female spaces such as toilets.

Deadleg dormitory

The new boss of the BierBC, a refugee from the Europeon sector of Gooble, has had plenty of warning about the defects of his new realm. It’s full of no-platformers on all sorts of subjects, especially the transpicater ishue – not a word can be said against them.
    Bullying, politically correct BS and monoversity are also rampant.

Dead set on it?

Attempts are being made to position President Thump as someone who wants to put legal executions of criminals on TV.
    He is also said to be looking at new ways of killing bad guys. In the name of diversity?

Really, really tough job

The detectives struggling to come up with a basis for a charge of misconduct in a public office against Prince Andrew look like they’ve hit a brick wall.
    Turning over his pads has yielded nothing much that’s really damning and they’re now appealing for narks to come up with something, anything else that they can do him for.