Foot on the accelerator

When people had a crisis, it was a mid-life one in the Good Old Days. But the GenZers can’t wait that long. They’ve decided they need to have a quarter-life crisis. Which gives them some practice for tackling a mid-life crisis and then another in later life.

Major legal flop

The paedophiles and sex offenders on Labour’s early release list can adopt a new, and legal, identity extremely easily after getting out of gaol. Despite Parliament being full of lawyers, none of them has spotted this; until their noses were rammed into it recently, and no government has been bovvered about tightening up the law.

Action replay

The current Chancer of the Exchequer is getting a booting for kite-flying and doing irreparable damage to pension savings with threats of yet another Labour tax grab on them.
● Alternative title: Achtung! Replay!

Cute delusion

One of them there studies found that 38% of the men surveyed think they could reach Olympic standard if they had training and coaching for the next 4 years. Many of them think confidence is more important than a natural talent for their chosen sport.

Designer cruelty

Animal experts are warning about the current trend for breeding Frankenstein cats with a ‘cute’ deformity. They include Siamese cats with a very flat face and cats with folded ears.
    The deformities create life-long debilitating health ishues in the unfortunate animals.

More Jonah Effect

After our bringer of disaster was made Prime Fantasist, the wildfires got worse. Now, we’re being threatened with a deluge of rain in the coming autumn and winter and floods everywhere.

Confidence shaker

Last week wasn’t a very good one for railway companies. After a spectacular derailment on Thursday, we were assured that railway lines are safe in hot weather. Cue another derailment on Friday.