Woke equality

The Polis of the Metrolopis will, no doubt, claim diversity as its defence after losing a case brought by one of their victims. He was arrested and handcuffed after his mother attempted suicide even though he wasn’t there at the time.
    This is a case of ‘guilty by being black’ to set against the Hampshire police’s policy of ‘guilty by being white’.

Drone War

Put’nstand blasts an historic cathedral in Ukraine with drones. The Ukrainians blast a major oil refinery in Moscow with their drones. No wonder Put’n the Poisoner holds summits with foreign leaders over 400 miles from his capital.

Grabbers

Venice is putting up its tourist entrance fee. It was just 5 euros when it was introduced in 2024. It is now set to become 50 euros per day. Inflation, eh?

File under ‘ZA’ for Zut Alors

The French PM has felt a need to ban drinking alcohol at festivals in the areas declared to be a red weather zone. Good luck with making tha work, mate!

File under ‘H’ for Hype

Did Prince Hairy make a million-quid donation to a UK charity last year ‘out of his own pocket’? Nope, it came from another charity created by his mother. Do we care? Nope.

A long way from the original

The Mr. Whippy ice cream treat is being exposed as a brew of ultra-processed gunk rather than good old ice cream. And it uses coconut oil instead of yer actual cream. And there are tons of calories, and all that air, of course, and the sale price is over 400% of the cost.
    Not exactly a bargain for the punters.

Message maniacs

They’re going to have to create a whole new book of pathetic world records for Gen Z, survey data is showing. The latest is that ringing a doorbell or knocking on a door is beyond them. They have to use their phone to send a text message saying: ‘I’m outside’.
● Millennials are nearly as bad but not quite.