File under ‘C’ for Cute

The Smarmer Alibi: If you don’t know what the truth is, if you have no concept of this thing called truth, then you can’t be accused of lying!!

Four to become Five?

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln and . . . Donald Thump??
    Apparently, the current US president thinks that turning the April Fool addition to Mount Rushmore into reality is a good idea. But then, he would, wouldn’t he?
p.s. How long would it be before some mad dynamiter reduced the Five back to Four?

Politicians, eh?

There have been complaints from all sectors that the Scottish government isn’t funding care for children, pensioners, everyone who needs it. And there’s a £50 BILLION black hole in the accounts.
    So what does the SNP have as its priority if it wins another term? Blowing loads of cash it doesn’t have on another referendum on independence from England, which pays for so much of Scotland’s needs.

What?!?!

Iran is believed to have accursed the Untied States of being a blaht attacker. Translators are now struggling to apply meaning to the phrase so that an appropriate response can be offered.

A way ahead

The First Sea Lord thinks we need a fleet of unmanned drone ships if Labour won’t let him recruit humans. And flying drones instead of destroyers around aircraft carriers. If they ever get to sea.

Not doing badly compared to some

The former Prince Andrew received a popularity rating of 2% in a recent poll. Which is way better than our Prime Fantasist’s rating of -46%.

Protected species

Under Labour ‘reforms’, just 0.3% of shoplifters will go to gaol. The rest will get a suspended sentence, which will leave them free to carry on.