Just a thought

Seen in a paper being recycled: Epstein flew girls to his London flat right up to the day he died. [or was done in]
    Reaction: Well, he’d have had a job doing it after he was dead.

Prediction

The Chancer of the Exchequer is being urged to tax online companies to reduce the rates demands made to those with high street stores. But we all know what will happen.
    Thievin will make a big song and dance about levelling the playing field, stuff bought online will cost more and even more cash will go to Labour’s voters on benefits. And Nett Zero rates relief going to ripped off high streets.

Top Secret

The Home Sec. is being mocked for refusing to admit how many illegal immigrants have decided to take £40,000 of our dosh as an incentive to be exported.
    The reason is suspected to be a bid to cover up how many turned down the offer, knowing they will cop for incredibly more cash by staying here and sponging off the taxpayer for years.

Talent lag

What’s the latest from the doombuggers? Reform UK will get a hammering in the May local elections.
    Lack of talent among the people selected then rejected as candidates when they opened their mouth is getting the blame. That and all the ex-Tories hoovered up by Nigel & Co.

Dead slow then stop

What do the green grotters want now? A reduction in speed limits to 55 mph on the way to 20 mph tops everywhere. And everyone with a car has to pay to park at their home, even if it’s on a driveway that’s part of their property.
    Well, that will definitely save the enviromint.

And another thing

The Sadgeek also needs 24-hour armed police protection in the world’s safest city. But just to confuse the picture a bit, even if his bodyguards leave a bag of assorted weapons lying around near Mr. K’han’t’s gaff, some member of the public can be relied on to take it home have a good look at the guns then tell the cops about them.

An easy choice

Bier Smarmer and Thievin Reeves claim that petrol companies are profiteering shamelessly from fuel prices, but they won’t admit that all the extra VAT that’s going to pay their benefits bill ain’t helping. Today: 161.9p and 194.9p per litre.
    However, Labour’s costa living tsar, Lord Walker, sez he’s not seen any evidence of this ’ere profiteering. Whom do we believe?