Does using the f-word when some obstructive piece of furniture messes you about during the hours of darkness count double or only 50% of the usual rate?
Saturday, 3 October 2026
Life extender
A British firm has come up with a gene tweak which delays the browning process in bananas that have been peeled, sliced or bashed.
The new stock could put a dent in the number of bananas thrown away unconsumed; one million per day in the UK.
Absurd wokeness
The former BierBC is getting a severe booting for claiming that unpainted fingernails are ‘classist’ and a blatant symbol of white supremacy.
Divisive tosh is now seen as part of a tedious Beeb agenda to politicise absolutely everything.
Extremely far-Wrong
Our Prime Mayor has given the job of Nature Minister to a woman who thinks everyone who enjoys the countryside, its pubs and the company of dogs is a rabid member of the far-Right. But also claims she enjoys these things herself.
Where do they get people like this?
Somewhere new
Illegals have found that Mylor harbour near Falmouth is a good place to sneak ashore undetected by the usual seaborne spies. For a while. The Cornish police made 10 arrests of boaters and accomplices to foil some sneakery.
At it again
London’s Sadgeek cosmetic mayor is intent on banning vehicles from a half-mile stretch of Oxford Street in the capital in time to discourage Xmas shoppers.
Bad bods
A survey has declared Tesla vehicle drivers the worst-mannered of all road users.
They rant at other motorists over crimes like not letting another vehicle pull out into a traffic stream whilst doing it shamelessly themselves.
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