What blighters!

A bloke who has spent the last 28 years walking and swimming round the world has hit the buffers at France. Cross-Channel swims are okay from England, but nokay from France.
    Probably in case the swimmer and escorts get in the way of small boaters.
● Eurotunnel won’t let him do a Tunnel Run [see the short story of the same name], so there!

Don’t go there

The number of members telling the EFU that its border checks are crap has reached 9. But no one has any confidence that the sclerotic burrocraps in Brussels will manage to avert chaos.

Today’s Question

Can J. Bandwagon, a.k.a. Andy Crapp, be described as having a ‘top team’ if it is entirely composed of dregs and crawlers?

Panic!

The Alarmists are working at pace to convince us that every bit of the countryside will go up in flames any day now. Not a word, however, about all the years of resistance to proper land management of the sort that creates fire breaks and makes an effort to remove combustibles.

Abuse of office?

A non-crime, non-event harassment involving 5 armed coppers busting the writer G. Linehan has cost the Met £25,000 in compenbluddysation.
    No one amused.

Unfit for purpose

The quality of our politicians is severely lacking if R. Lowe, the honcho of Restore, is anything to go by. He got a well-deserved booting for dismissing the massacre of 15 children at Dunblane Primary School in 1996 as ‘one murder’ when trying to cosy up to the American gun lobby.

Gaze deflected

Will the deadleg use his other leg to boot Put’n up the bum if the Poisoner gets cute with a cyber attack during the infancy of Jonah’s rule without a mandate? Or will the Bandwagon Kid be too busy creating his centre of government Up North? Or will Jonah just fall over if he tries to stand on his dead leg?