Something else we’re being told is that 90% of cats and dogs have a regular mental ’elf crisis. Either that, or their host has a very vivid imagination.
Monday, 9 March 2026
Not me, Guv, again
What was behind the Iranian president’s apologies to neighbours for blasting them with missles and drones? The expert opinion is that he’s trying to remind everyone that he’s an Iranian Bier Smarmer – a figurehead and not really in charge (it’s the crazy clerics and their private army who rule the roost) so please don’t bomb me!
Just talk
Will President trumPut’n put boots on the ground in Iran? Nah. As soon as the US casualty figures cross an ill-defined threshold, his Republicans will go soft on him and that will be that.
More negativity
Using fat-jabs can leave the customer worse off, the experts are warning. After stopping the jabs, they regain 75% of the weight lost over the next 14 months, and all the muscle lost is replaced by fat.
Fat-jabs can curb a craving for alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs in some cases, we are told. But does that benefit vanish when the jabs are stopped?
Beware the Reds in the bed
What’s a really good way to pretend Israel’s war with Iran isn’t wrecking everything? Hold a morning ballroom dancing session in the Palace of Westmonster for Commons Squeaker Jaunting Hoyle, MPs and assorted celebs to give them a spot of exercise at our expense. Followed by a course on avoiding honey traps set by our great mates the Chinese.
See you in a fortnight
How does a Labour government send naval support to our RAF base on Cyprus? Keep the ships tied up here for a week then let them take another week to sail to Cyprus, hoping that Greece and France will have stepped in to do the job Smarmer can’t.
Another embarrassment
Do the police have so little to do that they can waste time and our money on busting 3 Labour luvvies on spying for China charges? We all know that Bier Smarmer thinks China is our best mate and, as has happened in the past, nothing will come of it.
Bier’s eagerness to let the Chinese have a mega-spy-centre, prison and communications-snoopery in London confirms this.
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