Update

Responding to non-crime, non-events has not actually been abolished. The rules have been tweaked a bit and it will still go on if senior coppers think they can get away with it.

No room at the hospital

A new contract obliges GPs to delay sending customers to hospital to allow the government to massage waiting lists further. A reduction of 25% in admissions in the target.
    A GP who consults a consultant about sending someone to hospital currently gets a fee of £20.

More darn the drain

The Home Sec. has given the French £16 million more to put gendarmes on beaches to watch invaders climb into small boats. That’s do nothing whilst children and elderly disabled people join the rush of draft-dodgers for a trip to the Border Farce mid-Channel taxi service.
● A 5-year deal at the above rate is stalled because the French won’t accept payment by results as they never deliver any.

Unfair is fair?

Police farces will no longer police perfectly legal tweets, the Home Sec. told us. Which raises the question of why, if they were perfectly legal, did the police get involved?
    And also the question of why the senior coppers who sent bunches of minions to persecute innocent citizens are not being prosecuted for wasting police time and sacked.

Blame Red Ed

As a direct result of Edstone Milipede’s abject failure to get the global climate under control despite throwing BILLIONs of pounds of our money at his scams, parts of Britain will be blasted by 90 mph gales tonight.
● His strategy involves trying to set an example but the rest of the world is ignoring it.
● That’s Milip-ede when he’s at the mercy of the Daily Disaster’s line-end A.I system.

Get out of that!

Bier Smarmer keeps claiming that we’re not being invaded by small boat migrants. But someone who pays for them has noted that 70,000 of the buggers have arrived since the last general election. That many bodies arriving all together would be classed as an invasion. And that also applies to a continuous stream of the blighters being scooped out of the Channel over 21 months. But the truth from Bier is way too much to expect, experience tells us.

Corrections

NASA’s current space mission, launched into orbit by the massive Artemis II rocket, is not ‘to the Moon’ as hyped. In fact, the Orion vehicle will be going ‘to the vicinity of the Moon’.
    Furthermore, it will pass behind the ‘far side’ of the Moon; the one never turned toward Earth; not the ‘dark side’ as most of the Moon gets a fortnight’s Sun and darkness in alternation.