One way to be noticed

The Scottish confectionary firm Tunnock’s has enjoyed a burst of world-wide publicity from the return to Earth of NASA’s latest space tourists.
    As for the parachutes used to lower the crew of Apollo 16 safely onto the Pacific, those used by the Artemis II mission looked just like the Scottish firm’s iconic Tea Cakes in their foil wrappers.
    Customers in countries where Scottish exiles have flown are now wondering if Tunnock’s had a sponsorship deal with NASA to get that particular design onto the parachutes.

Cursing guide

Academics at Sheffield U. have decided it would be a good idea to create a swear map of Britain so that people know which bad language to use in order to be understood in any given town or region. Why eye, ya bugga!

Part of history

Persia had a civilization 2,000 years before America, some wise guy pointed out. Okay, Persia is where on a map these days?

Poisoned ambition

Inequalities Minister Phillipson is getting an extra severe booting because she sees pandering to transpicaters and their mates as an essential part of her road to No. 10 when Bier is binned.

Today’s other questions

1. Was Oily Robbins sacked for claiming that giving the Mandelsleaze a £75K leaving bonus was good value for money or as delayed revenge for his failures in his Brexit negotions with the EFU?
2. The current Foreign Secretary, Pixie Balls, was involved in the vetting scandal. Does she have to go right away or only when Bier goes?
3. Just how relevant is a picture of Petey in his underpants to this sorry saga?

Putin the ‘F’ into EFU

The EFU’s new border rules are doing a wonderful job of leaving people stuck in an endless airport queue whilst their flight home zooms off without them. No one surprised.

What I said, not!

The Pope is having to try to distance himself from a conflict with President Thump after making a speech that included having a go at tyrants. He is doing a ‘not me, Gov’ and blaming other people for interpreting his message wrongly.