Boom Time

A count of the number of parking wardens in the UK has revealed that there are 8,500 more of them than there are soldiers in the British Army. Maybe they could annoy Putin the Poisoner’s minions to death if he ever decides to invade us.

Consistent

It seems rather fitting that if Serbia Smarmer got to be PM thanks to an electoral mudslide cause by Vote Reform, Get Labour, that he got to be the Labour party’s leader by riding a slushslide of secretive Labour Together poll data.

Some choice

How does having war-monger tony b. liar in charge of Gaza under the Trump deal differ from having the Hamas in charge?

Another fantasy

By the next election, everyone who wants to work in the UK will need a digital ID, sez Serbia Smarmer. Joke! And one which fails to discriminate against the 10 million or so people who have given up work in favour of benefits, or never started it.
    And the millions more who have an imaginary illness for which they get benefits to keep them voting Labour.

Pot & Kettle

Good point by a Daily Disaster reader: Health Sec. Wee Streeting (politician) is no more qualified than President Trump (politician) to offer medical opinions.

Perceptive!

President Trump can’t be out of touch with the real world if he’s spotted that China is making non-recyclable blades for wind turbines and exporting them rather than using them to replace coal-fired power stations.
    Something which Edstone Milipede and his stooge Serbia Smarmer are too thick to grasp. Stooge? Serbia must be if he wanted to move the destructive energy sec. out of his job in the reshuffle of drones and Edstone was allowed to get away with telling Serbia the stooge to fucq off.

Mindless propaganda

Is it discriminatory that the ancient TV series Charlie’s Angels features three good-looking females who trained to be police officers instead of slags and tatty, crooked blokes? Is it troubling discrimination that the bad guys always come unstuck?
    Only wonks and the ludicrous Left could be opposed to discrimination in favour of what’s worthwhile.

Oppression Endures

The Pensions Minister, T. Bell, has offered an interesting take on the Labour mentality. He claims that if a government tax or benefit swindle is continued for another year, there is no surprise and that makes the swindle okay.

Very Credible

Experts at Sheffield U. have concluded that serious boozers are more likely to buy low-alcohol or no-alcohol drinks than normal people. Which has its own internal logic.
    The prices of no/lo drinks are higher than those of real world originals and you have to be pretty well off to afford to be a really serious boozer!

Spotlight on the truth

Despite all the BS being unloaded at the party conference, a Labour govenment doesn’t have values. It just has arms thrust up to the shoulders in the pockets of all achievers.

Well, that was great

Finally, the Edmonton Antlers hosted the Susquatchians. Boot for a rouge from the EA opener. Then a pick gave them the ball; only to see it fumbled away. A pick stopped the RoughRiders. Another fumble went to the Ants. Sacked to a 47-yard FG in Q2, 0-4. A FG try by the Riders after 9 minutes missed and was returned. The Ants reached the RR 1 with 50 seconds left in the half, Charge!, 0-10. The Riders got close enuff for a FG, 3-11.
    A 56-yard try in Q3 missed and was returned by the Ants. A TD but no +2 for the Riders, 9-11. A fumble recovery in Q4 gave the ball to the Riders, FG, 12-11. A pylon dive gave the Ants a TD! No +2, 12-17.
    Deep shot to the 5, on to a TD by the Antlers. 12-24. An easy TD for the RR, 19-24. A last minute FG, 19-27. The Riders got to the EA 1 with 1 second left needing a TD +2 for OT, dreadful end zone hurl to no one by Harris, the Ants win! Yey!

Blue for danger

Researchers in the US have found that exposure to red light offers a drug-free treatment for sight loss and all sorts of other conditions. Banning incandescent light bulbs here; they offer the same spectrum as daylight, including red light; is being blamed for o’besity, anxiety, blindness and cancers.
    Replacement LED lamps give out blue light and the lack of a red component means that they fail to recharge a vital system in out body’s cells. Wunderbar! “Get out in sunlight when you can!” is the message from the experts.

Follow that with a juggler!

The TigerCats went West to sunny Winnipeg on Saturday. What do you do with the kick-off? The Blue Bombers returned it for a TD!! 0-7. Bomb pass by Collards, another BB TD, 0-13. Collards to the end zone to close Q1? Penalty on the Bombers, FG in Q2, 0-16.
    The Cats managed another FG in Q2 after a shambles. One for the Bombers. The Cats went for a 3rd down near the BB end zone as the half ran out. No cigar, still 3-19.
    The BB lost a big run play to a penalty in Q3. Almost a TD; down at the TC 1. Charge! TD, 3-26. Another Charge! in the last minute of the quarter, another TD for the Bombers.
    Red zone for the Cats in Q4, out on downs. Another BB TD with a couple of minutes later. 3-40 final.

The (nut)case for Contribution

The Labour think tank which is in trouble for hiding the donations used to buy Bier Smarmer into the leadership job has crystallized what the party is all about.
    Contribution.
    Which involves everyone in the private business sector and everyone with saving and/or assets handing all their cash over to a Labour government so that Bier can continue to buy off the public sector which keeps him in Downing Street.
● Good News! Chancellor Thievin [a.k.a. The Husk] is keen to put Contribution at the core of her November budget.

Recycle, recycle!

Something else from last week’s ancient TV show revivals was two examples of the same gimmick. Saturday’s episode of The Saint from 1967 (S5, E19) had him open a door in an upstairs room and be confronted with a long drop because the next door building had been bombed to bitz.
    The Saint got away with it but people in Tuesday’s episode of Dial 999 from 1959 (S1, E30) weren’t so lucky. Both a copper and a bad guy took a final plunge in a case for DI Mike Mcguire, a Mountie working with Scotland Yard.

Taking the blame?

Also in the Sunday Post was the story of the wives who claim they kept the 1983/84 miners’ strike going when the men were all for giving up. That’s the strike that transformed Arfur Scaregill from a bloke in a small house with a big trade union to a bloke in a big house with a small union.

Long run up?

Our fantasist of a Chancer of the Exchequer is claiming that moving Gatwick airport’s reserve runway 12 metres to the north so that it can be used as a second runway will kick-start the economy, which she had driven into a doom loop.
    But this won’t happen until the late 2030s, when Thievin will be long gone from active polyticks with her reputation in even more unsightly tatters.

Relentless PR

Whilst skimming an article in the Daily Disaster doing a knocking job on Princess Fergiana over The Epstein Connection, I came upon an accusation of a PR stunt being pulled by her.
    Next came the writer’s ‘suspicion’ that Fergie got £2 million from Epstein, which allowed the writer to do some speculation about why she got the cash.
    No doubt about the writer’s motive, though. He’s got a book to plug.

Lotz of flags

The Argonauts sailed to BC later in the evening. DPI helped the Argos to a long FG. Rourke was picked just before the Argo goal line! Arbuckle’s pass from his end zone picked by the Lions! On to a FG, 3-all. Another Argo FG to close Q1.
    Another pick in the first minute of Q2, the Argos sacked to a punt. A dive gave the Lions a TD, 6-10. A bomb pass by Rourke, on to a FG. The Argos made a pick in the last few seconds, on to a FG, 9-13.
     The Argos kicked a FG 5 minutes in to Q3. DPI in the TA end zone, TD Lions by Rourke, 12-20. FG by the Argos to close Q3.
    More Argo DPI in scoring range, another TD for Rourke, 15-27. A headbut on Arbuckle helped the Argos to a TD, 22-27. A sack and a fumble recovery gave the ball to BC, who ran out the clock.

Rules, schmules

Is it okay for a politician to keep quiet about cash used by his campaign to replace the sitting party leader with himself if the principal donor is Jewish and he wants to keep the Moslem vote on-side? Apparently so.

Adams is Electric!

The Stampeders visited Montreal on Friday nite. The Alouettes started with a FG missed for a single. The next kick scored. The Stamps replied with a TD, 7-4. A bomb pass deep, TD for the Als in Q2. Red zone for the Als, on to a TD, 7-18.
    Red zone, nowhere to pass the ball, Vernon Adams scampered for a TD! 14-18. Just enuff time for the Als to miss a FG and the Stamps to run the ball out of their end zone to save the single.
    A shambles ended with a huge pass play by the Als, DPI in the end zone, Charge! for a TD,14-25. Then a pick stopped the Stamps early. More DPI in the Calgary end zone, another TD. The Stamps lost a TD to a penalty, FG instead, 17-32.
    A snap flew over Adams in Q4, shambles in the Calgary end zone, Adams got the ball back and hurled it for a first down! On to a FG. One by the Als, 20-35. And another. Close to the goal line, the Stamps fumbled the ball into the end zone; to the Als. 20-38 final.

Totally useless

Today’s theme for the Sunday Post, Scotland’s favourite newspaper, is cover-ups and official lies. The Deputy First Meenister is accused of spreading misinformation about the Techscalar scandal. NHS Tayside is accused of covering up the history of botching of a rogue surgeon and ignoring the promise of the Health Sec. about compensation claims by the victims. And so it goes on.
    Looks like the SNP regime has spent years creating a record of incompetence, which our Labour government is now using as a blueprint.

Groan!

If we ever needed confirmation that politicians are totally useless, we have it. The Home Office is using taxis to send illegals hundreds to miles to hospital appointments; also paid for by us.
    The only thing we’re wondering now is how come they’ve not used helicopters to bump the travel cost up even more.

Maybe!

Optimistic economists are claiming that UK economic growth will be cramped for just the next two years. Realists reckon that this useless Labour lot will keep the doom-loop spinning for the rest of their term.
    Which could well be two years, if Bier Smarmer is forced to hold another general election in 2027 to keep Mr. Farage happy.

Experience not appreciated?

As the holiday season fades into memory, we are being bombarded with diets for shedding a holiday stone in a month. I’ve found that being really ill is a great way to shed a stone in weight effortlessly.
    But I don’t suppose it’s something that the wellness freaks would approve of.

Not a miracle cure?

Another survey has found that twice as many people see A.I. as a threat than those who are not bovvered by it.
    The main concerns are about the quality of the stooges who will be in charge of the data, and the quality of the ‘information’ generated by A.I. systems. And then there’s the danger of putting all the nation’s data in one place where hackers can harvest or scramble or ransom it.

Serbia & Gravy go together

Another poll has found that two-thirds of those consulted did not believe that the government can be trusted to keep their personal information secure from hackers, which makes Servia Smarmer’s digital ID scam a terrible idea.
    The current Liberal leader, Eddie Gravy, the former Post Office minister who let Horizon happen, thinks digital IDs are a grand idea. He would. Yet another poll has found that two-thirds of voters think Mr. Gravy is a pillock.

Political rules

President MacRon’s latest PM has been forced to revise his CV after his claim to have a master’s degree was found to be a piece of fiction. Should be resign? Our fantasist, CV-boosting Chancellor hasn’t so why should he?

Record Maker

Our fantasist Chancellor, Rachel Thieves, has presided over a prolonged decline in the number of jobs in the wealth-creating private sector – a decline which matches the one produced by her hero, Gordon F. Broon, when he let the banks go bust back in 2008 by failing to regulate the spivs shredding them.

Non-Zoner!

Guess what? I’m extraordinary. I can spens a lot longer than 14 minutes reading a book. And when I stop, it’s at the end of a chapter or a natural break rather than because I’ve ‘zoned out’.
    Where does the 14 minutes come from? One of them there surveys, which reckons the TV zone-out time is 15 minutes. Which is usually the interval between advert breaks.

One state convenience

What Mr. Ne10yahoo has to realize is that Serbia Smarmer supporting a separate, very tiny state for the Arabs in Palestine is all about keeping Labour MPs and voters in the UK on side.
    Just that. And no one is impressed by someone calling Serbia a betrayer ’coz that’s wot he does.
    Cue a mention of Chagos and all the other stuff on the list. To which must be added pandering to the spivs who are demanding TRILLIONs, with the aid of ’uman bluddy rights lawyers, as compensation for the UK government not creating a Palestinian state in the early part of the 20th century.

The dead hand of diversity

It’s all very well, Yanks going on about the loss of freedom here, particularly of speech, but are things any better in their country? Where people who want to live in settlements like the old Virginia colonies are being ratbagged?
    The vexatious Left has the hump because their groups are of just people of European descent and they don’t have a quotya of inmates from other ethnicities.
    So much for the land of the free if the inmates can’t associate with people of their own choice.

Action through embarrassment

The Police & Crime Commish for Thames Valley has been forced to boot his police farce up the bum for wasting time by harassing people who put stuff online that the odd individual finds hurty. Something which is not a criminal offence, no matter how much the vexatious Left would like it to be. Sounds like the Commish is not on the ball if he didn’t know this crap goes on. And yet another waste of taxpayers’ cash.

Getting Serious

‘Major incident’ has now become a cliché button to be pressed recklessly. And it now conjures up an image of someone like Major Frank Burns of M*A*S*H fame in charge.
    What we need are ‘colonel incidents’ – declarations made only sparingly and when fully justified, and with someone of the calibre of Colonel Jack O’Neill of Stargate Command in charge.

They don’t like it up ’em!

Why should cancellation of people who don’t agree with them be the exclusive privilege of the vindictive Left?
    How does that square with inclusion?

Diversify & Devalue

Reducing the quality of the students they accept on diversity grounds has dropped Oxo and Cambridge out of the top 3 in the Times Newspapers’ Good University Guide for 2026.
    No one surprised.

Not exactly news

The Office for Notional Sadistics is warning that our fantasist Chancellor has put the economy into a doom loop with her taxes to buy off the trade unions. File under: “Tell us something we don’t know.”
    Meanwhile, private sector experts are warning that the OBE has glossed things up and the situation is far worse than the disaster the OBE is forecasting.
    It is also very curious that the OBE had nothing to say about Edstone Milipede driving our electricity prices to world record levels. With the full support of Serbia Smarmer, of course.

Doombugger

That’s just what the Labour party needs, the Deadleg of the North Jonah Burnham as its leader. A New Labour minister in the Health Department when customers were dying of neglect at Stafford Hospital, switched to the Treasury and all the banks went bust, reappeared as the Police Commissioner for Greater Manchester and the police force was put into administration for being useless and the Chief Constabule got the sack.
    Someone with a record like that could make Serbia Smarmer look almost competent in comparison.

No Ups anywhere

That should give the small boat illegals something to think about: the Border Farce threatening to go on strike. No more free rides across the busiest shipping lane in the world.
p.s. Two out but replaced by two in. Reduction of the burden on the taxpayer Nett Zero.

Lost cause

What will happen when the law preventing public officials from lying is passed? The legal trade will claim it violates their ’uman bluddy right to cover up misdeeds and it will be ignored.

Abusing a freedom has consequences

Is it disturbing if the Right starts cancelling political opponents with as much gusto as the looney Left? Not at all. The Right is merely exercising its ’uman bluddy right to level the playing field. And who knows, it might even make the looney Left less obnoxious. But don’t count on it. But if the Right starts to indulge in the offence archaeology that the Left has been getting away with forever, that might slow the loonies down a bit.

Done deliberately

Why don’t we have the nuclear power stations that we need for when the wind don’t blow? Planning red tape, spurious legal challenges and the failure of the court system to bin them in short order and bury the vexatious saboteurs in costs bills.

Say what it takes to get noticed

How long should an ‘indefinite’ suspension last for a TV motormouth who unloaded on-air offensive stuff and outright junk about the murder of Charlie Kirk?
    A couple of days should do it in the good old USA!

Ways and means

An Irish writer is claiming she can’t collect prizes in England because she faces arrest for her support for the banned terrorist organization Palestine Achtung.
    But she’s deluded. All she has to so is stow away on a lorry coming here and claim she’s an asylum seeker. Then all doors will open to her and she’ll be invisible to the police.

Police state oppression

The branch of Thames Valley Police in Slough has so little to do that it can send a copper to intimidate an elderly, ailing lady over an online post which upset just one single sensitive soul.
    Worse, the copper demanded an apology without telling the lady what it was for. So he got a flea in his ear.
    Publicity and the Free Speech Union, of which the lady is a member, made TVP back off. But, no doubt, there will be more similar outrages to come.

Along the road to ruin

Wonderful news from the financial experts – the government is failing to do anything about the miserably low productivity of the public sector, and strangling the wealth-creating private sector with red tape and sky-hi taxes.
    Thus Chancellor Thievin will be allowed to throw further billions of our cash down the public sector drain.

Excellent taste

It’s good to know that President Trump banned London’s useless mayor, Sadgeek K’han’t, from the grand state banquet during his visit. He knows a rotter when he sees one.

Alternatives

There was some discussion in the paper about how to open a tin of corned beef if the key is missing. Something better than using a hammer and a screwdriver or a chisel if a good old wind-the-handle tin opener isn’t available. But if there’s a toolkit handy, why not use a pair of pliers to rip the strip?
    Someone mentioned in passing that he uses a corned beef tin key to gain extract a supermarket trolley from a row. Such a key is, indeed, as wide as a pound coin. But not circular, which could make insertion tricky.

An endless rant

“Watch on iPlayer.” Never a please.
    “Search (whatever) today (or now).” Never a please.
    There are far too many rude buggers making TV adverts.

Big risk, maties

Notwork Rail took the dangerous step of letting the public pick a name for its brand new leaf-clearing train. Charged with doing its bit to shift 500 million autumn discards from 20,000 miles of track, the new piece of kit will be called Ctrl Alt Deleaf.
    Rather than Leafy McLeafface?

Proof of identity

What exactly is a digital ID? Can’t be something on a pocket phone as lots of people don’t have one and millions are stolen every year.
    How about a fingerprint? Cue loud yells of “Unfair!” from people hoping to make money out of the fingerless. It has to be a plastic card, then. Which can be stolen.

More anti-vexillumism

Courtesy of our local council, our lamp posts have acquired alternating St. George’s Cross and Union flags; which are looking rather sorry for themselves after the weekend’s bucketing downpours.
    In Scotland, some councils are trying to steal Saltire flags displayed by locals and moaning when their hirelings are threatened by the people they’re disrespecting. Shame on them.

Kept them busy

A study at Edinburgh University has reached the extraordinary conclusion that poor people have poorer mental elf after they retire than rich people, who show a sharp rise in mental elf after retirement, especially if they do it early.

What about the sausages, Bier?

How soon will it be before Serbia Smarmer is blaming ‘his’ decision to recognize a Palestinian state on our behalf because of Israel’s relentless settlement and division policy in occupied territories on Lord Squirmer and his other policy stooges?
    All too inevitable when the leader is a man who knows nowt about owt.

Labour NBG for UK

This government has entrenched inflation into our lives, the experts have concluded. It’s the highest here among the G7 countries, and Thievin’ Reeves is just making it worse.
    No wonder her efforts have been described as creating a halal economy. She has slit the throat and it is now bleeding to death.

Doom and betrayal

The boss of the major chip firm Nvidia has told our useless government that it needs to build a set of new gas-fuelled power stations if it wants to get on to the A.I. bandwagon. So much for Milipede’s Nett Zero scam. Worse, there seems to be no hope of Tech. Sec. L. Kendall resisting theft of copyrights fees due to UK creatives by the American A.I. industry.

Different tack

The firm that makes the fat-buster Monjo jabs has created a daily pill, which is about as effective. Which should score a few points with the environmentalists if it does away with all the plastic injectors. And its side effects will give newspaper columnists something to write about.

Loser either way

Is Labour selling out the country’s creative people by helping A.I. firms in the US to indulge in copyright theft on a global scale? Is Labour putting off A.I. firms from operating here with the stagnated economy Smarmer has helped to create by making useless people his ministers?
    One thing is for sure; as long as he sticks with Edstone Milipede’s catastrophic Nett Zero scam, there won’t be enuff electricity to power the megacomputers A.I. systems need. That’s in addition to not enuff water available to keep them cool.
    And given the way Labour has persuaded major pharmaceutical companies to relocate outwith the UK, the signs are that A.I. is not going to happen here in an environment hostile to business.

Must try harder

Astronomical autumn; what’s that? An invention by the Met Office, which just can’t handle the concept of a season starting three weeks into a month instead of on the first day.

The Right to be Wrong

A manufacturer has revealed that the correct way to make cheese on toast with Worcester sauce is to put the sauce onto the bread before applying cheese and doing the toasting.
    Luckily, therer is no law forbidding applying the sauce after toasting as it is now custom and practice enough to be a ’uman bluddy right.

Spin-offs

Industry experts are reporting that the fat-jabe, Monjo, Wegover and the rest, are doing wonders for sales of full-length mirrors and new clothing.
    But there is still a stubborn and sizeable minority not getting involved.

Another one

Newspaper A.I. proof-checkers have given us line-end hyphenations such as supery-acht, seat-anker and Abk-hazia. Here’s another: vide-ophone.

Forward planning

Customers are advised to shop now for Xmas and bung perishables in the freezer (if you can afford the electricity). Thievin’ Reeves superbike inflation will make everything unaffordable in December. Stockpiling Hot-X Buns for next Easter is also a good idea if they are on sale now.

It’s an occupation

The Putin of Palestine; that’s where the Israeli court-dodger Mr. Ne10yahoo is now. Not that he’s bovvered. He’s determined to do a Putin on the West Bank of the Jordan as well as Gaza.

Zero of moral judgement

There was an article in the Sunday Post about a book on traitors who were spies for the Soviet Union. A contemporary of Burgess, Maclain, Blunt and the other bloke was a Scottish (what else?) professor, who was against fascism. But not the greater evil of communism.
    Which just illustrates where a lack of discrimination can go.

Busy, busy

It’s a really hectic life, being an attention-demanding newspaper columnist. Defecting to the Faragists one week, detailing the terrible side-effects of the fat-buster drug Monjo the next.
    And all in the cause of making the readers ask: “How’s she going to top that?”

Another betrayal

The Home Office has come uo with a really cute way to waste even more taxpayers’ money. It is advertising the job of a minion who will organize weddings for illegals who are due to be deported and want even more ’uman bluddy rights grounds to feed to grasping lawyers.

Not that grand

Is Diane Abbott a Labour grandee? Her entire political career is based on having been Jezzer Corbynstein’s girlfriend during the good old days of the Soviet union, her spells as a government minister confirmed she’s not up to the job (any of them) and she’s currently suspended from the party for anti-Semitism.

No colder fish

It has been suggested that the PM zoomed off into hiding when the Mandelsleaze scandal exploded because he was taking anger simulation classes. Our ’uman bluddy rights lawyer of a prime monster has never been able to project emotions successfully. And his current performance shows that he needs to keep taking the lessons. Paid for by us, of course.

Nearly

The Antlers were in Hamilton. The Cats started with a FG. Nearly a fumble by Fajardo, recovered by Edmonton; TD from the next play!! 72 yards by Rankin, 7-3. One for the TigerCats. A FG at the start of Q2 levelled the scores at 10-all.
    A sack by the Ants but just a point from a punt. Ahead with a FG for the Cats. One for the Ants, 14-13. Then a TD for Lawler, 14-20. Just enuff time left for a FG by the Ants, 17-20.
    The Cats’ Q3 opener was stopped by a pick. Red zone, TD for the Anglers. A FG for the Cats. Another for a 24-26 lead in Q4. And FG for the Ants with 5 minutes left, 27-26. A FG for the RBs at 0:00 gave them a 27-29 walk-off win. Groan.

Very vulnerable

Claims for stolen, lost and damaged handbags, especially luxury ones, are pushing all insurance premiums up relentlessly. That’s the conclusion of an industry survey ahead of London Fashion Week.

A certain lack of consistency

Like Maigret, the detective series Van der Valk is about foreigners but it gets a mealy-mouthed woke warning for the pathetic git tendency in the TV audience before each showing. Weird.

TD Palace?

The Blue Bombers were in the nation’s capital, where the RedBlacks started with a TD. A pick stopped the BB. A FG try by the RBs missed and it was returned for a TD in Q2!! Another kick by the RBs gave them a single. A pick by the BB got them a TD, 14-8. The RBs fumbled away a punt return in the last seconds of the half, FG, 17-8.
    The RBs were held to a FG in Q3. Another kick missed and was returned to midfield. Another BB pick in Q4, FG, 20-11. Another BB FG. Out on downs for the RBs instead of a TD. FB for the Bombers as time ran out, 26-11. The RedBlacks scored a TD at 0:00, 26-28 final.

Not us, Gov

The turn-over of Labour’s ministers is now such that when the government has to admit failing to reach its guaranteed target of 1.5 million new homes, the blame can be dumped on a whole gang of discarded failures, leaving the incumbents of the moment (and future failures) with unsullied hands.

Tell us something we don’t know

Is it an amazing discovery by boffins in America that cats eat grass to prevent hair balls from blocking their digestive system? It has been common knowledge among cat hosts in the UK for, like, ever.

Quiet night for the horse rider

Orf to Calgary for the BC Lions, who scored a TD after 3 minutes then stopped the Stampeders with a pick. Nowt from it, so BC did it again! Charge! from the goal line, 14-0. A bomb pass got BC close, on to a TD by Rourke. A FG in Q2 from the Stamps. Another TD for BC, 28-3. A single from a punt made it 28-4. Add a FG and 28-7 at half time.
    The Stamps started Q3 with a TD. Rourke did another QB sneak for a TD, 35-14. A TD for BC. DPI in the first minute of Q4 got the Stamps to scoring range, on to a TD. The 2-point try was picked by the Lions, 38-20. Another BC TD. A FG in reply, 45-23. Then a 70-yard Lions TD run. 52-23 final.

Pernicious Poison

It’s a shame that the Press tried to make the Duchess of Kent’s funeral all about Prince Andrew’s (alleged) misdeeds. Some objectivity would have been welcome. But not expected.

Limp, mate, very limp

The DG of Israel’s Ministry of Defence has called a ban on Israelis students attending the Royal College of Defence Studies over the flattening of Gaza City ‘discriminatory’. Which invites a big, “So what?”
    Sanctions against Putinstan and its citizens over the attack on Ukraine are also discriminatory. Tough if it offends the wonks but we still have a right to pick and choose with whom we associate and discriminate in that area.
    Requiring us to suffer in silence and pretend to like or approve of something which we find distasteful is a violation of our ’uman bluddy rights.

Beast of the East

Toronto was having a beautiful Friday night when the Alouettes took on the Argos. Rain here in England. Red zone, FG for the Argos. The Argo defence stopped the Als, another FG. A pick near the start of Q2 by the Argos, nowt from it. The Als went to a TD after 12 minutes, 7-6. Another pick in the last few seconds gave the Argos another FG, 7-9.
    Tough defence to start Q3. A bomb pass by Bethel-Thompson helped the Als to scoring range, just a FG, 10-9. DPI in Q4 got the Als close. TD in the 6th minute, +1, 18-9. TD by the Argos after 10 minutes, 18-16. The Als kicked a FG in the 12th minute, 21-16. One by the Argos in the 14th minute. A pick by the Als with 15 seconds left, 21-19 and a sweep by the Als.

Delusion

Has having to shed his deputy PM and his ambassodor to the US in the space of 6 days undermined the remains of Bier Smarmer’s reputation for competence and sound judgement?
    Not possible if he never had such a reputation. Sigh of relief, disaster dodged!
    As for Uncle Beer ‘winning’ a landslide victory in last year’s election, getting the votes of 20% of the electorate was all down to Vote Reform, Get Labour.

Shock, Horror

A recently retired head of the UK’s Armed Forces has revealed that the Whitehall Blob is full of people who say ‘No!’ to necessary changes as a reflex and waste billions of pounds of our money.
    Worse, the Blobists from other departments are also doing the “No!” routine – sometimes on defence matters. No wonder it’s called the snivel service. Any chance of a reset Bier?
    Joke. Which is what our nuclear subs are now, the retired admiral went on to say.

Like as if

An inquiry into the Southport child murders ruled that the killer could and should have been stopped. Which means what? All the public sector failures sacked and the killer’s parents gaoled?

Kept them out of mischief?

Researchers in Argentina have invented eye drops which could make reading glasses unnecessary. Except on convenience grounds if the drops have to be applied half an hour before you want to read something.
    And they’ll probably work out much dearer than a six-quid pair of specs.

One-way Tier

The anti-British Left would have us believe that not feeling offended by people who don’t agree with them is their ’uman bluddy right. And that this is something that doesn’t extend to anyone else.

Another double-sacked

Lord Blunkett is on offer as a Labour grandee. Is that the same Dave Blunkett who was sacked twice by PM t.b. liar? Once over an affair with a married woman and again over his business dealings between government jobs?

Delivery we can do without

Before last year’s election, Serbia Smarmer said he’d end the (Tory) chaos and deliver change. In the year and a bit of his term in office (but not in charge), all he’s done is change the chaos to Labour chaos.
    Okay, it’s different, ut it’s not better than what we had before and worse in many ways with a flat-line economy delivered by his fantasist of a Chancellor and higher taxes on the way.
    Is Bier an island? Or just a clump of drifting pondweed?

That’s me educated

Boris Johnson mentioned paraquat in his Saturday essay in the Daily Disaster. Never heard of it myself but one of my correspondents has.
    Over 50 years ago, he was the co-author of a scientific paper on the fascinating photochemistry of this weed destroyer.
    Its herbicidal properties were first recognized by researchers at the now defunct ICI in the 1950s, and it is still used today despite wide-spread bans in areas like the EFU. But carefully, as it can do in humans as readily as weeds.

Gone Gimmick

No surprise that Labour’s flagship one-in, one-out miracle stop the boats scam foundered on the rock of ’uman bluddy rights lawyers and the courts right before the first export attempt.
    Current score, 32,000 in, 2 out.
    Worse, not exporting ‘outs’ in worthwhile numbers amounts to depriving ‘in’ candidates of their ’uman bluddy right to scrounge off the UK taxpayer. Consequently, will all the lawyers and judges end up in gaol for their misdeeds? Along with Smarmer for cooking the books with lies?

Beyond question

We keep being told that Prince Hairy’s interview with his dad lasted precisely 54 minutes. But after deducting the travelling time from the front door to the meeting room and back again, we’re down to about half an hour.
    But hey, we must never let inconvenient facts get in the way of the legend once it has been crafted.
    Similarly, how is a picture of the Mandelsleaze, enveloped in a white bathrobe whilst talking to his pal Epstein ‘shameful’?
    And what a fantastic job the police in London did last weekend when just 1,600 coppers were able to cope with the 3 million supporters that Tom E. Robinson claimed for his ‘stand up to the anti-British Left’ rally in the capital.

More Tiers

Hos many months in gaol on the Lucy Connolly scale does the kid who’s about to be president of the Oxford Union for a term deserve for what he put online about the murder of Charlie Kirk?
    A purely academic question as the police are obviously not bovvered.

Tell me something I don’t know

Experts at Gothenburg University in Sweden have decided that  people have generally found a style of music they can identify with by the time they become adults, and contemporary music on offer in ‘the charts’ is of no importance to them.
    This is something which has been common knowledge since the pirate radio station ships parked just outside our 3-mile limit to broadcast pop back in the mists of the 20th century. Or maybe even before that.

Another variation

“If this programme offends you, then you are a pathetic creep who owes the entire world an apology.”
    How come repeats of Maigret never get a wonk warning? Because it’s about foreigners, who don’t count?

Being exact

A landslide, like an avalanche, is always a destructive event. Is that why Labour getting in thanks to Reform last year is called a landslide?

Not me, Gov

Back in the news for Lord Pally after the tenants of one of his properties got a no-fault eviction notice then spotted that the house was back on offer at 6 grand per month instead of the £4,600 they’d been paying.
    Lord Pally, via a spokes, blamed the estate agent.

Carry On Lying

Seeking an Oscar(?), the government is claiming, with its eternal dishonesty, that raising the cost of National Insurance wasn’t an attack on working people. But if it made them unemployable by zooming up business costs, the alibi drops to bitz.

Timing is everything

Being ill enough to need a trip to hospital earlier in the year is looking like an increasingly wise move. Strikes by militant junior docs have sent tens of thousands of NHS appointments up in smoke and made waiting lists even HUGER.
    Don’t get ill now, is the clear message.

Smooth then rough

A posh do with King Chuck one day, having to put up with Serbia Smarmer the next. The ups and downs of being the US president.

How very dare you

A Norwegian electrical goods company is in trouble with the local advertising ombudsperson for trying to boost Sweden’s declining birth rate.
    Power Sweden shops are offering a get it for free (via in-store vouchers) to women who become pregnant within a month of buying anything from an electric toothbrush to a washing machine.
    The snippy ombuds decided that the campaign lacked social and professional responsibility.

We know, we know!

Blue disabled badges of dead people being used by relatives was reported in the papers at the end of August.
    An item about it was in today’s lunchtime BBC news.
    Misusing real badges, and fakes bought on the interweb, is all part of the Labour entitlement cult, although the Beeb didn’t tell us that.

Which one’s bad and who is worse?

Whatever happened to diversity in the ‘contest’ to become the Labour party’s deputy leader? Candidates must be female and come from Up North, I read in an article by a commentator who would like both popsies to lose as they are talentless.
    One is an education sec. who applauds the closure of private and academy schools. The other is a Commons leader who thinks grooming gangs are no big deal.

Who’s worse, Petie or Bier?

Does Serbia Smarmer’s chronic mishandling of the Mandelsleaze Affair show that he is no longer fit to be Prime Monster, as the pundits are howling?
    Not if he was never ever fit for the job. It just confirms his uselessness, which we knew about anyway.
p.s. Maybe we can start using serkier as the comparative of a non-existent adverb. As in “can you get serkier than that?”

A step too far

Using drones instead of helicopters to chart the progress or decline of exotic parts of the Scottish countryside makes sense financially.
    But the conservators never seem to get that bringing the two carbon footprints into their justification process crosses the border to dishonesty when the values for the carbon footprints are totally meaningless in global terms.

Press the oppression button

Surprise! Cuban cigars are not made by Castro-worshipping femmes. They’re knocked out by slave labour – political prisoners in Cuban gaols – according to a Spanish ’uman rights group. So much for Cuban culture.

No mercy

Only a ’uman rights lawyer who doesn’t have a clue about what’s right and proper would have made the Mandelsleaze our ambassodor to the USA. Anyone who pretends to be surprised that the wheels came off is an attention-seeker who needs to be ignored. Bier is useless, but we knew that already. And trying to pin the blame on his back-office bod is doomed to failure.

Sabotage Unlimited

Edstone Milipede, the bloke Bier Smarmer couldn’t sack, is working hard to destroy the UK steel industry by forcing manufacturers to pay 25% more for their electricity than companies on the Europeon mainland.

Impractical vanity

Police Scotland’s plan to go all-electric with its vehicles involves ignoring crime in remote areas where there are no charging points, the coppers’ union reckons.
    There isn’t the cash available to install remote charging points as the big cities hoover it all up. And the Edstone Milipede Nett Zero scam, they could have added, means there won’t be any electricity available to power chargers.

Public sector jobsworths only?

There was an interesting point in an article by a dietician in this week’s Sunday Post. She had opted to spend a week eating only whole foods and doing without her usual ultra-processed extras.
    Her shopping was more expensive and took a lot longer than usual due to the need to check labels. And it was only possible, she concluded, on a skive-@-home day!
    Everything took longer to cook but the diet made her feel better. But it’s not practical for someone who has to work for a living.

Throw a flag!

Watching the highlights of the NFL match between the Vikings and the Falcons, I noticed the bloke in the big, fat Viking cartoon outfit standing under the post indicating a miss when the Falcons topped off their opening drive with a field goal.
    That should definitely have drawn a shower of penalty flags for blatant unsportsmanlike conduct by the mascot.
    Later: a real far cup in the editing when they failed to show the Falcon touchdown and had to go back to include it!

Mixed message

What is the significance of a Union flag attached half-way up a 40-foot street lamp? Was it part of the fight back against the anti-British, anti-white far-Left and determined by the length of the ladder available? Or a half-mast expression of mourning for a country wrecked by Beery Smarmer’s Army? Take yer pick!

Mechanical Message

What does my inkjet printer say when it’s printing a page on the high quality setting? It sounds like, “Eleven feet, eleven feet, eleven feet . . .”
    The obvious next question is can I get it to say something more interesting?

Too many killers

It seems appropriate that the killer of MAGA activist Charlie Kirk faces a charge that leads to the death penalty by a firing squad. After a decade in gaol, of course, and after the lawyers have stuffed their pockets even fuller of cash by playing the system.

Clang!

Leicester University sounds like one to avoid. Its experts spent two years ‘proving’ that the countryside is rachelist when the reason for the lack of sufficient ethnics to meet the experts’ requirements is due to economics, not race.

Now abnormal

A correspondent sent me a picture of a box of half a dozen eggs, which he bought at Sainsbury’s and they don’t half look weird! Six white objects in the container. Every one of them missed by whatever it is that sprays eggs the familiar ‘natural’ shade of brown before they get the little lion stamped on them.

Coping with catastrophe

Kent and Greenwich Universities are hoping to survive Labour’s collapsing of the economy (flatlined in July) by merging their management teams.
    There will be a reduction in staff and courses, just one (overpaid) vice-chancellor and Greenwich will be in charge of failed kent in 2028. If it all happens.

Daintier dishes

With an astonishing 7% of the population on weight-loss jabs, some restaurants are offering a reduced portion size to cater for suppressed appetites. Whether that will have much effect on prices remains to be seen as the amount of effort for preparing a smaller meal is the same as for a normal one.

Evidence? Maybe

Life in Mars, maybe, sez NASA. It’s all to do with the interpretation of small smudges on bits of rock, as reported by the rover Perseverance. Other images show that there was a river in the area. 4 billion years ago.
    Next step, get the rock samples back to Earth for closer inspection. Maybe a job for Marsman Musk?

Change of rules?

Smarmer gave the Mandesleaze (twice sacked by t.b. liar) the same full backing as that given to Angrier Robot, and look what happened to her.
    Misleading the House clearly no longer demands resignation.
    Worse, he has also been revealed the ’uman bluddy rights lawyer who perverted the system to make the export of illegals impossible.
    2024’s Vote Farage, Get Labour is biting our bums severely.

Reset Required

After 2 years of police farces wasting time on Non-Crime Non-Events on the internet, the Chief Inspector of Constabulary has decided that coppers need to separate the offensive from the criminal and get on with doing the job they’re paid to do.
    Took him long enough.

Slanted interpretation

An interesting aspect of the Mandelsleaze/Epstein propaganda released by the Democraps in the USA is the interpretation of the commentators on it. Thus a picture of Mandy in swimming trunks attracts ‘topless’. But why would anyone expect a bloke to go swimming in a top?
    Elsewhere, a woman wearing a white vest and black bikini bottoms has her lower garment described as underwear by those seeking to mislead. And so the sleazing goes on.

Not at all flattering

Is it not rather insulting to your TV audience to assume that it contains pathetic twerps who need woke warnings? And who are likely to throw a wobbly over the way things were in the 20th century, before the rot set in?
    Doesn’t seem to bother the advertisers, though. Automatic Bed Socks are still doing their sponsoring.

One way to go

France is providing a preview of our inevitable fate at the hands of Smarmer’s Army. The Yellow Vest Pests have expanded into a Block Everything movement, which encourages walking out of supermarkets without paying as well as bringing the country to a standstill.

Oh, dear!

Serbia Smarmer’s Phase Three booted Pixie Balls out of the Home Office and replaced her with a lady from Brum, who started her new job with a ‘crack down’ on small boaters, which turned out to be just spin and irrelevance.
    Not a particularly good omen for the future but that’s a main characteristic of Smarmer’s Army – they treat the truth as an optional extra.
    Even worse, Edstone Milipede refused to quit his job of reducing energy security to Nett Zero and there was nothing Bier could do about it.

Not me, Gov.

Researchers in the US have found that watching other mice being aggressive toward intruders makes spectator mice more likely to indulge in violent behaviour.
    Next stop, what? The human legal trade claiming their client was corrupted by having to watch the violence of others and that’s why he can’t be set to gaol for becoming an axe murderer?

Week 15 done

The Alouettes started in soggy Regina and managed a FG. One for the RoughRiders. The Als came back with a bomb pass and a TD, 10-3. They took a pick to a FG kick which hit an upright. On 3rd and 1, the RR fumbled the ball away. On to a TD for the Als at the start of Q2. A FG try way deflected for a single, 18-3. The Riders went in for a TD after 9 minutes. Another FG try for the Als worked. Another TD in the last minute, 28-10.
    Add a FG half-way through Q3. A Charge! from the MA 1 gave the Riders a TD and 31-17. Another bomb pass in Q4 got the Als close, on to a TD. A Charge! by the Riders, 38-24. A goal line fumble by the Als was converted into a TD by one of their guys, 45-24. The Riders managed a consolation TD. The Als kicked another FG, 48-31. Final.

Flying circus

The police will be staging a drone convention when President Trump does dinner at Windsor Castle with the King next week. The amount of paperwork needed to ‘justify’ that much aerial activity is believed to have chewed a signficant chunk out of the Thames Valley Police budget. Both members of the Stop Trump Coalition will be out in force during the visit.

Finishing Week 15

The Edmonton Antlers visited T’ronno. Roughing Fajardo got the Ants close, on to a TD . Arbuckle took a sack early in Q2. One back for the Argos, who were stopped by a pick after the punt. Another end zone pass, 14-0. Finally, the Argos got to scoring range, out on downs, but they had enough time to kick a FG as the half ran out.
    A bomb pass in Q3 by Arbuckle caught, on to a TD, +2, 14-11. Another pass went to Ford of the Ants, Charge! from the TA 1, TD. The Argos managed a FG, 21-14. Another pick by the Ants went to a FG. An Arbuckle bomb pass to the end zone and a TD, 24-21. Arbuckle off. A 4th pick by the Ants went to a FG.  Fajardo lost the ball close to this end zone, TD for the Argos and 27-28. 3 minutes left. FG for the Antlers, 30-28. Hajrullahu with a FG kick, 30-31 walk-off win. Groan.

It’s a gamble

There was an advert in the paper the other day which said you can’t predict the future but you can prepare for it.
    And face a 50:50 chance that you’ve prepared for the wrong future?

Worth a try?

According to experts in China, drinking 2 cups of coffee per day ‘can’ extend a natural life span of 80 years to 82 years. That’s the usual ‘maybe’ rather than a firm guarantee for any given customer.

Tokenism Rulz, Nokay

Idiotic attempts to diversify the nation’s Armed Services with more ethnics and women at the expense of qualified male candidates are going to create more scandals like the one that hit the RAF when its bosses blocked male applicants for pilot jobs.

Next, out west

The RedBlacks took on the Lions in Vancouver. End zone DPI gave BC a TD. A FG in reply by the RBs. Rourke got him team to the red zone as Q1 ran out, on to a TD. Charge! from the 1 in Q2, 10-14. A huge pass play got BC to the 1, on to a TD. Just a FG for the RBs. Another TD for the Lions with 2 minutes to half time, 13-28.
    A FG by the Lions to start Q3, then they took a forced fumble recovery to a TD, 13-38. The visitors needed a ruling by the Command Centre to get a TD approved. Then the RBs batted an on-side kick over the sideline! Nowt from it.
    A sack on 3rd & 2 at the BC 4 in Q4 stopped the RBs. Another TD for the visitors in the last minute? Down at the 1, so a Charge! needed. +2 made, 27-38 final.

Today’s Updates

1. Diversity (n): Everyone going their own way and nothing getting done through a lack of common purposes. See also: Labour government.
2. Beer Smarmer rearranged his deadlegs, not deckchairs, in his post-Rayner Phase Three. No new talent in, no dead wood out.

Another take

“The following programme contains attitudes and conduct from a lost, superior age, which was vastly more enjoyable than the pathetic wokery that the lunatic Left is attempting to impose upon us.”

First, out east

Friday nite started with the Blue Bombers in Hamilton, where the TigerCats turned a pick into a TD. The BB went to a quick equalizer. A FG by the Cats, a sack made the BB kick a FG in Q2. Another TC FG. Another pick set up another TD and 10-20 at half time.
    The Cats kicked a FG as Q3 ran down. The BB were sacked to another FG. One for the Cats after 8 minutes of Q4, 13-26.  Red zone, another TC TD to put the match away. Red zone and a TD for the Bombers, +2, 21-32. They got close again but nothing from it.

Be Elsewhere

Plenty of police overtime on offer in the centre of London today with people opposing Labour’s attempt to fill the country with migrants doing one demonstration march and the anti-white rachelists doing another.
    Let us hope it rains on the lot of them as a reward for making a massive nuisance of themselves.

Tell it like it isn’t

Close inspection of real world data by a Dutch expert has confirmed that the UN’s global warmists are predicting that sea levels are rising faster than they actually are. Which, given that the UN is about pollytics and cash-grabbing rather than science, comes as no surprise.

Chaos Unlimited

What’s a good way to close Terminal 4 at Heathrow airport for 3 hours? Create mucho mass hysteria with a phantom hazardous material contamination incident. Ambulance crews had to attend to 21 hysterics.

Non-Crime waste of time

South Wales Police have so little in the way of crime to tackle that they can spend 10 months chewing over whether an award-winning retired superintendent committed a political hate crime when she referred to a bloke in a frock as ‘Fred’ on the interweb. The conclusion was that she didn’t.
    The Fred in question is a former copper who was sacked for gross misconduct a couple of years ago.
    Sounds like the Chief Constabule needs the sack, too.

Consequences bite back

Having been diagnosed as spineless for not sacking his dodgy deputy, Bleary Smarmer now has a dilemma.
    If he goes private to get a spine, he’ll be reminded that he declared he’d rather leave a family member croaking in agony than resort to the private sector. But if he uses the NHS, he will be accused of queue jumping by being Labour and entitled.

No Danger

Will graffitist Banksy be sent to gaol for 10 years for stencilling a daub on the Queen’s Building of the Royal Courts of Justice in London?
    Squadrons of elephants flying over the capital are much more likely.

More manoeuvres

On Wednesday, Serbia Smarmer claimed he had full confidence in Lord Mandelsleaze. On Thursday, he extended his record for dishonesty and poor judgement by sacking Mandy.
    To which deadleg will the deadleg give the job now?

More grief, and not the good sort

A report by Little John in the Daily Disaster informed me that the College of Policing thinks blokes in frocks are at risk of female genital mutilation. To which one can only gasp WTF!!!

Outback Outlaw

What’s a good way to become a hero in New Zealand? Disappear into the wilds with your three young kids, live off armed robberies and help from family and friends for the best part of four years and get yourself killed by police after shooting a copper in the head worked for Tom Phillips and gave his fan club something to moan about.

More of it

Manchester Airport’s boss ain’t bovvered by the place being voted the worst airport in the UK on a regular basis. “I am proud that Manchester Airport is serving more passengers,” he said. “Badly,” he forgot to add.

Record Breakers

The Met hss also managed to raise the bar for mass arrests to 890 busts at a rally in support of the banned terrorist outfit Palestine Achtung.
    A good way to do even better would be to arrest anyone wearing a mask to avoid being captured on CCTV images.

Obfuscation

The Met is trying to keep the focus of its arrest of the comedy writer Grahan Linehan on the guns. Coppers at airports are armed as a matter of routine, so no big deal, sez the Met.
    Which ignores the real issue. Why did it take FIVE coppers to bust ONE elderly writer for a Non-Crime Non-Event?
    That’s what we really want to know.

Peace & Quiet @ 3 p.m.

No surprise that the 3 p.m. ‘Run for your lives’ panic phone message from the government’s £25 million system arrived late or not at all last Sunday.
    No surprise that the government spokes offered the lie that there were no ishues. That’s despite BBC presenters live on the news channel having to wibble until the late alert arrived.

Telephone disorder

There’s no shortage of imagination in the ranks of London’s police. Not if someone came up with the suggestion that a phone found hidden in the Commons chamber was there to play sex noises to disrupt Questions to the Prime Monster.

O’Bliterate

Israel’s agenda for Gaza City, it is now clear, is to flatten the place. All that dynamite must be costing the Americans a bomb.

Alibi for the judge

The reason why judges make what are obviously ludicrous decisions to real people is that they don’t have any contact with the real world, a former president of the Law Society has explained.
    Which could almost be a plea for real people to be appointed as judicial assistants, who will dip one hand into the public purse for a fat salary and use the other to give their judge a clip round the ear to tell them they’re doing something daft.

More ‘not me, Gov’

No surprise that the boss of the Police of the Metrolopis is blaming politicians for his failure to prevent his minions from pursuing people for Non-Crime Non-Events as part of a far-Left agenda.

Motive questioned

Has sometime Tory party minister Nadine Dorries switched to Reform UK to give herself something to put on her next page in the Daily Disaster? Does it matter if the next general election if 4 years off? Or two, if Mr. Farage gets his way.
    The only thing against her is her age if she’s now a pensioner and she has ambitions to be an MP again. She looks more suited to an elder stateswoman role but she may just have the true grit for another crack at the Westminster Blob.

‘Caught red-handed by The Press’

How much respect should we have for the government ministers who were lining up to say Angrier Rayner has done nothing wrong right up to the moment when she quit in disgrace? Can you get less than Nett Zero? Did Serbia Smarmer mislead the public? That’s what politicians do. Was not sacking his deputy an ineradicable stain on his government? Not if it’s something that won’t be noticed among all the other stains.
    The lawyers bite back! Rayner’s stamp duty liability was calculated on the basis of information that she supplied. The firm in question explained it doesn’t do tax advice and it looks like Rayner didn’t bother getting any.
    Thanks to the correspondent who tracked down and sent me a copy of the Green Gorgon, wide enuff to be 8 feet tall picture.

 

Worse on the way

As well as killing off the UK bird population with wind farms using non-recyclable turbine blades made in China using slave labour, Edstone Milipede’s agenda has even worse in store.
    There will be vast battery farms to store electricity for when the wind don’t blow, which will raise the unit price by 400% thanks to subsidies.
    Worse, they will contain lithium batteries, which are already notorious for overheating and catching fire, and have to be left to burn out, creating vast amounts of pollution as they do so.

Sometimes right

President Trump’s Vice, Jady Vance, may be a total jerk most of the time but he’s spot on when he rails about the death of free speech in Britain and the far-Left agenda most of the nation’s police farces are following when they sit on their arses in their bunkers, trawling the interweb, instead of doing anything about real crime.

Lifestyle choice

It’s very easy to afford an overpriced vegan diet, claims one of its proponents. Just stop drinking a 6-pack of beer, smoking 40 cigarettes and leaping darn the betting shop every day.
    And if you don’t do that stuff? Forget it.

Fringe fantasist

The Green party, ever seeking to be different, has elected a new leader who has been variously described as a boob whisperer, who thinks women can increase their breast size by thinking about it and a Harley Street cleavage quack.
    Does he think he can hypnotize the electorate into voting for his weirdos? He’s going to have to if he wants to crash the political scene big time.

Munch!

Reintroduce sea eagles to Scotland and what do you get? Eagles making off with lands and even very young Shetland ponies on one of the Orkney Islands.

Good news

The number of idiots in the electorate who think Serbia is doing a grand job has gone down from 20% in the last count to 11% currently. What will he do when he finally gets the boot? One possibility is to go into competition with Mhegan the Merciless and start flogging Smarmerlade at fifty quid a jar.

The power of the unimpresed

Weather Control took such a pounding after yesterday’s storms on an eclipse day, particularly from people who’d switched their heating on, that it was forced to take the Sun out of its box and deploy it during the afternoon.
    Not that it made much difference cloud cover-wise when the eclipse was on. And being shown a brilliant full Moon when it was all over was predictable.

Just what we need

Serbia Smarmer has appointed as his financial gury, the dickhead who sold the idea of the Edstone to that other dickhead Milipede.
    Which means that all we can expect is that things will get much worser rather than better.
    What Bier needs is Automatic Bed Socks as his sponsor. If he can tempt it away from sponsoring daytime TV.

Mysteriously missing

Whatever happened to Beer Smarmer’s bankroller, Lordy Pally? We never hear anything about him any more.
    And there’s ‘Air Miles’ Hoyle, the Commons Berko. We don’t seem to have heard anything lately about the vast bills he runs up on his travels around the world.

More blah

Serbia Smarmer would have us believe that he has completed phase one of his Change agenda, i.e. created a shambles. Phase 2 after his reset will involve delivery.
    Of more of the same? And is that why government borrowing costs are soaring?

Always complicate the issue

A Danish study has concluded that living on a street with lost of traffic noise increases the risk of suffering a stroke.
    The advice from these experts is to sleep in bedrooms away from the traffic noise with sealed doors and windows and high-performance glazing.
    What about just a pair of earplugs?

Bad planning

How can you tell a total eclipse of the Moon has been arranged for tonight? Total cloud coverage of the sky and heavy rain with rumbles of thunder and the odd flash of lightning are rather a dead giveaway.

Way to go!

Finally, the Stampeders in Edmonton. Their opener went to a FG. One for the Antlers. Charge! for a TD by the Stamps. A single from a punt for the Ants, 9-4.
    A TD dash by the Ants after 5 minutes put them 9-11 ahead. Then a TD dash through the Calgary D, 9-18. The Stamps kicked a FG as the half ran out. 12-18.
    The Ants kicked a FG as Q3 ran out. A lunge into the end zone in Q4 got the Stamps to 19-21. Fajardo hurled the ball to the end zone half-way through the quarter, TD, 19-28. A FG try by the Stamps missed, Blanchard didn’t 19-31. Sack, sack by the Ants and a last minute pick in their end zone sealed the win.

What to say to a government minister

“When you say you want to grow the economy, you’re claiming your intentions are good? And as it’s not happening, you’re admitting that you’re lacking in ideas and talent?”

Banjo Bowling

Q1 of the match in Winnipeg featured a sack by the RoughRiders and a pick by the Blue Bombers. FG from it. One for the Riders early in Q2. A pylon dive after 5 minutes gave the BB a TD. 3-10. A FG with 3 minutes to go. A pick in the last minute got the RR to FG range, 6-13.
    A pick in Q3 by the Riders went to a TD and 12-13 after the PAT missed. A FG try by the BB missed and was returned. The Riders drove into Q4 to a FG and the lead.
    Another FG miss by the BB. The Riders had to escape from their goal line. FG, 18-13. A pick stopped the BB, on to a FG, 21-13 final after the last play was picked by the Riders.

Slow but sure

First on Triple Saturday, the TigerCats in Montreal. Nearly a pick in the end zone then a fumble recovery near the goal line for the Alouettes. Nowt from it but a pick later on gave the Als a FG. One for the Cats in Q2.
    Nowt from a fumble recovery by the Cats. Both teams managed another FG. Then Mitchell dashed for a TD in the last minute, leaving time for a FG, 13-9.
    Boot in Q3, 16-9. Lots of punting. Finally, in the 11th minute of Q4, another TD from the Cats. Then a FG after a fumble recovery. 26-9 final.

Aaaah . . . nope!

Would I buy a solar powered watch, which is on offer with the price cut by £150? As my current watch (battery powered) always requires a sleeve to be pulled back to see it, there doesn’t seem to be much point if the solar panel never sees the light of day. Or any other sort of light.

Diversity to blame?

Why isn’t pavement parking banned in Englan if most people want this? A government spokes, Hugh Sless, said: “the priority is to make it [a pavement] accessible to everyone.”
    Including motorists, apparently.

A real close one

The BC Lions visited the nation’s capital to start Week 14. Lots of punting in Q1. Then a FG for BC with a couple of minutes left. More booting in Q2, then a TD for BC after 11 minutes. A penalty helped the RedBlacks to a FG. One for the Lions closed the half at 13-3.
    A forced fumble and a recovery by the RBs set up a TD for them. A bomb pass from Rourke gave the Lions another TD. Then they returned a punt for a TD after 10 minutes! 27-10. QB Crum raced for a TD but the PAT missed, 27-16.
    A 46-yard FG put the Lions 30-16 ahead in Q4. One for the RedBlacks. Another sprint by Crum, another TD, +2, 30-27. Then 33-27. A FG try by the Lions missed, add a penalty on BC to a good return. A pass by Crum took the RBs to the BC 10, 25 seconds, TD! 33-34. A pick by the RBs sealed their win.

Unfortunate name!

How much confidence can you have in a wonderful drug called ‘clopidogrel’, which is being touted as a 40% dearer alternative to aspirin for those who need a blood thinner?

The same and worse

Greenhouse Grotter Thunberg faces being kidnapped again by the Israelis if she makes another attempt to relieve the famine in Gaza with a freedom flotilla. Next stop after the illegal bust this time will be a chance to experience a detention centre for terrorists!

Ears wide shut?

How very strange it is that the Met Office hasn’t gone for Blasty McBlastface as one of the names for this winter’s storms. So much for listening to the public.

What are they actually saying?

Alleged experts in France are claiming that the Bayeux Embroidery is too fragile to be taken to England, where it was created, and displayed there. Which means what?
    The experts think that it has been neglected in France and they don’t want its tatty state to be confirmed by it dropping to bits on the way across the English Channel?

What the Evil Axis should have said

“As long as the mutual opponent (the USA) has not been defeated, China and Russia’s limitless co-operation serves to gaslight a global order that exists beyond the United States. And also includes India.”

When in doubt, be vague

Sometime Home Office minister A. Eagle might as well have said the government is committed to closing all asylum hotels by the end of this millennium. No plan, no urgency to get anything done, problem ignored.

Real head case

There has to be an award for outstanding stoopidity that can go to the Philadelphia Eagles player who spat into the face of a member of the Dallas Cowboys team during an injury time-out right after the kick off in the opening match of the new NFL season and got chucked out of the match. Especially if he did it with an official standing just a yard away.

Legal laxity

What do you get if you steal £41K from the taxpayer via benefit fraud and brag about it on the interweb with details of the holidays you enjoyed? All together now – away with it. No gaol time at all.
    Still, when an asylum judge rules that an Albanian criminal’s 50 convictions for burglary are a mere trifle and not worth his deportation, who can be surprised?

Radicalized police

Why does it take 5 armed Met coppers to arrest 1 sitcom writer over 3 posts about transpicaters on X-Witter? Blame it on Two-Tier Bier rules and a totally useless crime commissioner in London failing to make the Met tackle real crime, like knife murders, shop theft, etc.

Hours later . . .

If Labour could make someone as dishonest and useless as Serbia Smarmer, the Prince Andrew of pollyticks, the party leader, why not do the same with Angrier Rayner? Who is now building up her profile as The (not so) Great Distractor.
    All the news services are focussed on her antics instead of the government’s failures.
    UPDATE: Damn & blast! The green monster has been made to resign. Tough luck, Bier.

Does nowt for her

Is that green tracksuit that Angrier Rayner keeps wearing a gift from a freebie donor and is that why she feels obliged to keep going around in it?
    Even if it makes her look enormously wide and like she’s been squashed down from about eight feet tall.

The Exception Culture

If a government minister and the person who will take over if Serbia Smarmer is incapacitated tells the taxman that she lives Up North and Bier’s Cabinet Office that she lives Darn South in Hove, some 264 miles from her alleged constituency, and she’s Labour, no one should be surprised.
    Gaming the system is what they do. And resign from the government for doing it? No chance.
    Furthermore, Free Gear Bier is still hoovering up hospitality and refreshments with his hands shamelessly in his pockets when the bill comes round.

Job insecurity

Bier Smarmer is sacking his ‘gatekeeper’ staffer every 5 months. The process began with Boris back-stabber Sugar Ray, and the new bloke can expect the boot next January.
    Possibly right after Bier has wished him a happy new year.     And if Bier keeps up the alternation of the sexes, the first 2026 gate monitor will be a woman.
    Bier is also due to reset his Cabinet deck chairs this month, which means that we can expect someone failing in a different way in all the Great Offices of State.

Keep on digging!

The date of the first documented denouncement of the Turin Shroud fraud has been pushed back to the 14th century. French philosopher and sometime Bishop of Lisieux Nicole Oresme dismissed it as a clerical fraud six centuries before 3D X-rays provided the proof.

An alibi of sorts

If the Scottish government is laser focused on reducing its NHS waiting lists, as Health Sec. N. Grey claims, how come long waiting times are 800 times more common in Scotland than in England?
    Are all the A.I.s north of the border drinking the laser’s power and turning its output into a feeble glow?

The Reeves ‘Baldrick’ alibi

Could it be that if Serbia Smarmer is quite happy to hear real economists and business leaders complaining about the Reeves £50 BILLION Brown Hole which she has created in the nation’s accounts? How come? Because he knows that his minions will fiddle the figures, claim that the Hole is only £49 billion deep and he’ll expect to be rewarded for saving the day?

Herd of hippocrites

If people we have no confidence in; Smarmer, Thieves, etc.; say thay have full confidence in tax avoider Angrier Rayner, is anyone impressed? Or fooled?

No say for the people who pay

A snivel service union in Scotland is now claiming a 4-day week with no reduction in pay is a ’uman right and threatening strike action if it’s not granted.
    The Scottish government isn’t buying the idea, but for how long? Doing less for the money they’re paid might improve morale among the skivers, but it does bugger all for the people who have to pay their wages.

It’s only the law, ignore it

 Police farces are failing to arrest themselves for not keeping biological males out of female-only spaces, the Equality Commission has found.
    The education and health industries are also ignoring the April High Court ruling and being allowed to get away with it.

Rethink

The current view is that Serbia Smarmer doesn’t do 180 degree U-turns, he does 90 degree L-turns, whic go to the Left and always make things much worse.
    And as he doesn’t know where he’s going, he’ll always claim that anywhere he ends up is somewhere really wonderful, no matter how crap it turns out to be.

More from the far-Wrong

The Judge Bean solution to protests at immigrant hotels like the one in Epping is to get the police and local councils to ban protests. The sometime justice system now seems to be ruled by political convenience and the anti-Britisch of the establishment.
    When did we vote for that?

Call this progress?

Oh, dear. We are being threatened with chatbots which have subroutines demanding politeness.
    Be narky with the bot and the next thing you know, it will be conspiring with other bots and creating all sorts of ways to ruin your life.
    p.s. If your taps run dry, it might be due to the chatbots using all available supplies of water to keep their host computer cool. Or if the lights go out, it will be the chatbots drinking all the electricity. So fill the kettle and have lots of candles standing by.
    p.p.s. A.I. = appalling intrusion?

Quel Surprise!

Housing minister Angrier Rayner gamed the tax system when she bought her flat in Hove but she’s doing a ‘not me, Gov’ and expects to get away with it.
    Under Labour’s conduct rules, she won’t resign for being a rotter and Bier won’t sack her.

Going nowhere

Education Sec. B. Phillipson’s scheme to give working parents 30 hours of taxpayer-funded** child care per week during term time started this week. And ran straight into the buffers thanks to staff shortages caused by the Rachel Thieves tax rises and underfunding.
** Note: The scam isn’t government-funded as the government has no money. It just spends our cash.

Admission of uselessness?

Closing the asylum hotel in Epping could have left illegals homeless if Judge Bean hadn’t come to Pixie Balls’ aid (with a seriously flawed ruling), according to Education Sec. B. Phillipson. Which means what?
    Pixie’s Home Office is so disorganized that it would just have shrugged its collective shoulders and done nothing for the evicted illegals?

Not a truth day?

Energy prices are going up so what does our PM do? Wheel out some minor stooge to lie his head off about gas prices to blame it on the Tories rather than Smarmer for indulging Edstone Milipede’s insane fantasies.
    Wind is unreliable and gas is always there and much cheaper. Everyone knows this, including the politicians who keep lying their heads off about it.

Sustainable? Yes, probably

Will civilization crumble if the birth rate doesn’t increase? Most of the world’s problems are now due to too many people for the systems to support. And what about all the stories of A.I. making even more humans irrelevant?
    Fewer people leading more productive and more contented lives sounds like a very desirable concept.

Meanwhile

Home Sec. Pixie Balls-Co-oper is always looking for a court which will rule that the rights of migrants are more important than those of the people who object to having large numbers of them dumped into a hotel in their small community.
    Which is further confirmation that Labour hates Britain.

The Battle of Alberta

The Edmonton Antlers visited Calgary, where the Stampeders went ahead with a TD in the 10th minute. A FG from the Ants to close Q1. One for the Stamps 5 minutes in to Q2. A single from a missed FG try for the Ants. One by the Stamps went through, 4-13.
    A FG for the Ants in Q3, so the Stamps returned a punt for a TD. 7-20. They were back for another in Q4, 7-28. The Antlers got to and goal but the Calgary defence held up.

More garbage

We’re getting the usual BS about meteorological autumn again. Strange that that Met Office can’t grasp that confidence in its pronouncements vanishes if the organization can’t deal with seasons which don’t begin at the start of a month or end tidy at the end of a month.
    This year, the autumn equinox falls on September 22nd, and that’s when the season starts. Accept no substitutes!

Phew, Gov!

The Argonauts did Labour Day in neighbouring Hamilton. FG from their opener. One for the TigerCats and another to close the quarter at 6-3. A FG 5 minutes into Q2 got the Cats level. A punt put the Argos 7-6 up. Arbuckle to the end zone, caught for a TD, 14-6.
    The Agos got a single from a punt then had a punt blocked by the Cats and taken into the end zone. 15-13. A pick by the Argos was fumbled and batted across the sideline by one of the Cats. Half time.
    Scramble, scramble, pass, close! Then a TD for Lawler, 15-20. A FG in reply. In Q4, Mitchell pass to the end zone, catch, 18-27. 3rd & goal at the 2, TD for the Argos, 25-27. At the TC 3 with 3 minutes left, TD, 32-27.
    A pass to Lawler got the Cats close, TD, 18 seconds left, 32-33. Nearly a pylon dive by the Argos, a face-mask penalty on the Cats!! 1 second left, easy FG for the Argos, no problem for Hajrullahu, 35-33 final.

Simply Amazing

The world shudders in disbelief. Home Sec. Pixie Balls can’t say when the much advertised one in, one out scam with France will start exporting illegals.

Something else not working

Good grief! The mental ’elf industry has got 20% of the schoolkids in England in its clutches and on the special needs list. Which means that those who really need attention are not getting it. Whatever happened to quality control in the medical trade?

Don’t stand for it

What exactly is wrong with discrimination? Depriving us of it violates our ’uman bluddy right to pick and choose what suits us. Down with the anti-discriminators. Buncha control freaks.

Nope, not panicking

It’s difficult to be alarmed by claims that this is the hottest summer since records began in 1884 if it’s just a quarter of a degree Centigrade warmer than the last record holder.
    And ‘heatwaves’ lasting a few days instead of a couple of weeks are also unalarming.
    In fact, the scaremongers are facing a really uphill task if this is the best they can do.

More imagination

Would you like to buy a vacant property for 10 grand? Could be used as a coffee shop, a florist or a mini art gallery, according to the outfit flogging it. Or even affordable housing for someone who can sleep standing up. What and where is this bargain?
    It’s a redundant red phone box in North London.

The Reeves ‘moron premium’

Even more gloom for us. Our failed Chancer is getting the glib stunts bloke who wrote Edstone Milipede’s 2015 election manifesto to do her next budget. This is the guy behind the notorious Edstone, who can do only tax rises and government bloat.
    Christmas cancelled this year?

The end of education

Teachers with an over-active imagination are cutting down on the size of their classes by getting primary school kids as young as four sent home for bogus rachelism; a concept which the victims of the exclusion are too young to get.
    Agitation by underworked activists at work again on the woke. The same bozos who were getting little kids sent home for imagined transphobia.

Some battle!

It’s Labour Day but we’re getting only 3 matches this week. Does the CFL not get the concept of labour? Defences were in charge at the start of the Bombers vs Riders clash on Sunday nite. The Bombers were knocking on the door, TD for Olivera to open Q2.
    A sack right away gave the BB a FG, 10-0. A sack by the Riders gave them the ball @ and goal. TD from it. Pinned deep, the Riders went the length of the field to a bomb pass for a TD and a 10-14 lead at half time.
    Collards was crunched to stop the Bombers in Q3. The Riders added a FG. A TD for Demski, 17-all. Harris for a TD in the last minute of Q3, 17-23.
    Another SK TD 5 minutes later, +2, 17-31. A fumble gave the ball to the BB with 5 minutes left. Bomb pass to the end zone by Collards, TD for the BB. The Riders ate clock but had to punt. A tackle in the end zone gave them a safety and 24-33? No, just a single, 24-32.
    DPI in the red zone got the BB close. On to a TD. The 2-point try was picked and returned to the BB end zone. 30-34 final.