Unifying force

Serbia Smarmer accused Mr. Farage and Reform UK of being divisive. He, on the other hand, united the nation! In contempt for himself and the rest of his sorry crew.

Just(ice) illusion

Pakistani grooming gang rapist gets gaol sentence of 35 years. Sounds severe; until you apply the 40% discount. Then, it’s only 14 years. And maybe even less if Labour decides to buy more criminal votes.

Weird bloke

Bier Smarmer claims he ‘gifted’ a field to his parents to use as a donkey sanctuary but the legal title, i.e. ownership, remained with him. Odd sort of a gift if you’ve not actually given it. But he’s a lawyer. Words mean whatever he wants them to mean.

Short-changed

Just 3 CFL matches this weekend, starting with the RoughRiders in the nation’s capital where it was warm and not stormy. The Riders to the RedBlack 1, Charge! TD but the PAT kick missed.
    A pick at the start of Q2 gave the RR another TD, +2, 14-0. Another pick stopped the RBs. Nowt from it. The Rbs got to scoring range as the half ran out, almost but a FG and 14-3.
    A sack stopped the RBs in Q3 but a 3rd pick gave them the ball back. Nowt from it. An RB FG try toward the end of Q3 missed and was returned. Another Rider TD at the start of Q4 by Myers, 20-3. Red zone, TD Ottawa! 20-10.
    A bomb pass got the RR to the RB 5 but a mugging cost them the ball, which was run back to their 16. Sack, just a FG, 20-13 with 2 minutes left. The Riders ate the clock for a win.

More noise

Bier Smarmer is going to do as much as he can, he sez. Which shouldn’t take long, given that he’s totally useless and can’t do nuffink.

Just noise

The wheels have come off Labour’s plan to build 12 new towns. The first areas on the list lack the infrastructure to support a vast influx of bodies and one of them is prone to frequent floods.
    Meanwhile, Smarmer’s Army is looking for a big bargain offer on patriotism as the voters have spotted that the party conference, which descended into an anti-Reform UK slanging match, has exposed a total lack of it.

Get it right

Head’s up for M. Whelan, outgoing Gen. Sec. of the Asleep union. Train drivers don’t earn more than doctors, they are just paid more thanks to a panicking Labour government.