Banking BY Dummies (not for)

I have an unwanted Lloyds bank saving account with just a couple of quid in it paying a derisory 0.01% interest. I would have closed it years ago but there isn’t a way to do it on the website and Lloyds has closed all its branches within walking distance of where I live.
    I’ve now had a letter telling me they’re going to close the account for me as I haven’t used it for years. Unless I spend hours waiting on a phone line to tell them not to.
    The banking industry would have us believe that it is run by smart, caring people. Not in my experience, it ain’t.