Energy efficiency?

I thought I won the jackpot when my EuroMillions ticket came up, but renewable energy is the real deal. The Estate is now self-sufficient in electricity, and the good thing is, the government will pay a £25 subsidy on top of every £15-worth of electricity supplied to the national grid. And the subsidies keep on coming whether or not the wind blows; and also if it blows so strongly that the turbines have to be switched off. Welcome to the future!

You think?

A “Think Tank” reckons that having bank holidays costs the country £19 billion per year. But what would happen if we didn’t have bank hols? The national workforce would be grumpier, skivers would take more “sick” days, unions with enuf muscle would get another 10 days tagged on to annual leave and if any extra money did flow into the national coffers, the government would waste it.

Creative Journalism at its best!

I was amused to read in my favourite blog that the git who got in the way of the Oxo-Cam boat race has been charged with public petulance. Yes, that about sums it up.

Too dim to be free?

You have to wonder at the intelligence of the Brazilian drum smuggler (alleged) who changed into his wife’s clothes to get out of prison but was busted at the nearby bus station because he couldn’t walk convincingly on her high heels. His missus brought spare clothing and a black wig to the prison visit. Why couldn’t the bloke have told her to bring a pair of flat heels, too?

How to beat the hosepipe ban continued

41. Open your grounds to the public but charge the blighters £100 a head to get in.
42. Organize a sporting event on the main lawn at your Mansion but call it off through lack of interest.
43. Set up a car-washing business but charge customers £100 a time.
44. Start a small fire and over-react in spades.

Good luck, mate!

Dave the Leader reckons he’s going to let GCHQ snoop on everyone’s emails, does he? It will be interesting to know how he gets on with my encryption system, which is advertised as: “not so much totally uncrackable as too expensive for any government to crack”. The same sort of idea applies to the proxies used by staff at the Mansion for Internet access.

Balancing Act

You have to wonder at the misapplied ingenuity of politicians. In the spirit of “we’re all in it together”, the chancellor has decided to bung more VAT on cold champagne served in restaurants and other public places (but not the Palace of Westminster thanks to generous subsidies from the taxpayer), and he thinks that will repair the damage done by putting VAT on hot pies & pasties. What a plonker!