Experts need to drop dead

Some professor with a book to sell is claiming that alcohol is the most lethal drug on the planet and if you drink every day, you’re doomed. Even if it’s just one glass per day. And you need two non-drinking days off a week if you want to live forever. But who wants to live forever if it feels like you’re living in effin’ gaol?

A fair question

A Daily Mail reader has spotted all the TV ads for charities for children, old people, donkeys, etc., abroad and asked what our Dept. for International Development is doing about them. A more pertinent question would be what are the governments of the countries involved doing about these problems? This is the 21st century, after all. What excuses do they have left?

Dippy Dave Remembers

A Daily Mail reader pointed out that Dave the Leader’s book of memoirs of being PM is £7 cheaper from the WH Smith website than the shops. But who’s likely to want to buy it from either source?

Brilliant, eh!

After a 27-day rail strike in the South-West of England, can the guards go back to work? No, apparently they all need to be retrained in safety procedures as they’ve been away from the job so long they’ve forgotten what to do. You couldn’t make up anything dafter.

Goes with the territory

I can’t help feeling that the people caught up in the bush fires in Australia are just like the people who choose to live on volcanoes. They know the place is dangerous and they still choose to live there.

Who loses?

Shame, isn’t it, that BBC ‘stars’, whose names ring no bells, are having to abandon anti-social media to the trolls. Or maybe it’s a good thing that they are getting a life instead.

Built to last

I knocked up a mixed pasta dish yesterday, which included finishing off a packet of pasta ear-holes which has been hanging around for ages. It wasn’t until the mixture was cooking that I noticed that the “best before” date on the packet was 20/01/ . . . . 2017!! Tasted okay, though.