And we know who’s to blame

The ’Elf & Safety Executive is moaning about a Cotton Wool Culture, which is eroding children’s freedom to play outdoors. As it was the ’Elf & Nazi gang which insisted that kids have to wear crash helmets and goggles to play conkers, and ripped all the climbing frames and roundabouts out of playgrounds, maybe wholesale sackings at their department would cure the problem.