Well, I never did!

If you want to know the latest piece of totally daft research, look no further than the Daily Disaster. Today’s issue reveals that if you want to booze less, you should do your drinking when there’s no loud music playing. Presumably, people get reckless when they can’t hear themselves drinking. But in the absence of a din, they get embarrassed by the horrible slurping noises and don’t drink as much. No doubt it was taxpayer’s money which funded this latest revelation.