Stitch in the direction of up

I was wondering if the GB Views pictures of the cop standing at the exit from the New York court house last night would ever go anywhere. But we did eventually get to see the Donald and hear his rant as he socked it to the bullshit merchants behind a rigged trial.
    Is it the Slick Willy Clinton scenario rewritten with the bloke who isn’t a Democrap not being whitewashed?

Ever-expanding cloud

The people who put Paula ‘Horizon Hero’ Vennells in charge of the Post Office should be locked up, say outraged onlookers after her performance at the inquiry.
    And also the people who appointed them?
    Strange that Eddie Davey, the Liberal Post Office Minister who let the Horizon Horror Happen is being allowed to swan around in the South-West of England without being run out of town on the proverbial rail.
    Clearly, there is one rule for the really evil Establishment political monsters and another for the rest of us.

Bloody election

GB Views isn’t getting much attention at the moment. Most of the time, they seem to be rabbiting to people of no interest to me or going on about stuff that I find totally irrelevant.

Still at it

The reptile dysfunction mob are still going strong on TV, touting for business between segments of series 6 of The Avengers on Great! TV. Hoping people who saw it when it first came out and are reliving old times need their assistance?

Just what we need

The Junior Doctors taking yet another very long weekend off because everyone else thinks their 35% pay demand is just totally insane.

Extremified

Labour or Conservative? It’s like asking ‘do you want syphilis or gonorrhea?’
    And there’s over a month more of the same on the way.

In one ear . . .

Beer Smarmer has pledged to fight Britain & build a platform to unnerve the British people. Or something.

Sheer perversity

Don’t you just wish that when a TV news programme shows video shot with a phone, it would chop off the blurry bits to left and right and just show the in-focus middle bit with nothing on either side?
    It’s not as if the technology to do it isn’t readily available, which makes not using it just plain daft.

Great Stuff!

The more I watch the original Star Trek episodes on TV,the more samey they tend to look, plotwise. But the gang who have worked on the picture quality have done an outstanding job of work.

Right!

“The Liberal Democrats have been fighting hard” during yesterday’s news triggered an immediate laugh. All 15 of them in a Parliament of 650. How hard is that!

Leading whom?

You have to wonder who these ‘business leaders’ are whom Labour claims supports the party even though its policy is to let trade unions walk all over the bosses.

Unheard

He’s just like the adverts on TV now. See Smarmer’s ugly mug and it’s finger down on the ‘mute’ button on the remote control and the sound off until he gets lost.

Wot Next?

It’s amazing what a letter to a newspaper can trigger. Suddenly, it’s fashionable to have a time-slip story to tell and you’re nobody if you don’t have one.
    How about some mysterious disappearances as a follow up to keep us distracted from election boredom? Similar to the case of Benjamin Bathurst, the British diplomat who walked behind a coach in Prussia during the Napoleonic War period and just vanished.
    Or was grabbed and murdered, the historians would tell us.

And another thing

How come that Paula Vennells, sometime Post Office boss on a sky-high salary, isn’t in the deepest, darkest dungeon in the land for her part in letting the Horizon Horror happen?

Also Bozoid

The Liberals expecting us to forget their leader is the Post Office Minister who let the Horizon Horror Happen and Labour expecting us to forget Beer Starmer swore blind that Jeremy Corbyn would be a wonderful prime minister.

Bozoid to the max

Yep, it’s also true. The Prime Minister standing in the rain and getting drenched when he could have had a minion holding an umbrella over him, or when he could have done his election announcement indoors, or on CCTV, was plain daft.

Art, Schmart

Yep, it’s true. “Who the hell is that supposed to be?” is the right reaction to what is supposed to be a wonderful portrait of Princess Kate.

True to form

About the best you can say about this Bank Holiday Monday morning is that anyone with a water meter who put washing out when it was sunny got a free rinse if they were a bit slow about hauling it back in again.
    Sack the mob at Weather Control?
    No point. The replacements would be just as bad.

Mystery solved

Why is Beer Starmer such a cold fish? Answer: because that’s all he eats. No meat for the protein, just fish & vegetables.
    Plus all the protein he gets from his beer, of course.

Surprise!

It was the National Police Chiefs Council which told the nation’s police forces to stop arresting criminals to relieve prison overcrowding.
    Next thing you know, the Chief Police Officers and then the Policing Minister were telling them to get lost. An unusual outbreak of good sense in the public sector.
    Shame all the people on that pointless council can’t be sacked without compensation and barred from all public sector sinecures for the rest of their miserable lives.

Keeping us guessing

It looked like we were going to get some rain to celebrate our bank holiday. Then the sun came out. And went back in again. And we have lots of clouds.
    There are reports of optimists putting out washing, which is traditional on a Monday. Let us hope no rain and a bit of blowing around gets the job done for them.

Whatever turns you on

There was a feature in yesterday’s Sunday Post about a bloke in the Shetlands, who makes artisan treats. He started off with fudge but one of his most popular brands is Puffin Poo chocolate! Sounds absolutely Andrexic to me.

Experts finish first

Raining here, but not in Spain. Bagnaia & Acosta went off the front early for 24 laps of MotoGP. Jack Miller was gone on lap 3. Martin took over the lead, and Brad Binder was also in the lead group.
    Acosta crashed out of 2nd place on lap 12. Bagnaia, in 2nd, had gaps ahead & behind him. He took the lead with 6 laps to go. Martin was a distant 2nd. Marc Marquez, who started in 14th place, held on to 3rd under challenge from Espargaro.

Trying in England

The Sun was looking down on us here when the Moto2 race started in Barcelona, but didn’t hang around. Two riders gone at turn 1 of lap 1/21! Another off at turn 4. Is this Moto2 or 3? Two more gone on lap 2, a battle for the lead, and another crash.
    Aldeguer established a lead over Garcia with a scrap behind them for 3rd & 4th. Aldeguer got a long lap penalty, went into the loop too fast and crashed!!! Canet gone with 7 to go. Ogura had a good lead over 4 battlers. Garcia & Dixon claimed the rest of the podium places.

Sunnier in Spain

The Moto3 bikes had shadows in Catalunya, unlike here in England. Very racy at the start of 18 laps. Holgado, the series leader, was 2nd early on but kept dropping back to 6th. A bloke doing a long lap penalty was nearly swiped by a bloke who crashed off the track and slid towards him!
    Alonso established a lead, and kept it to become the series leader. Ortola was 2nd and Rueda 3rd.

Up for the Cup

Nice to see the FA is still sitting on the nutters and keeping the Cup Final @ 3 p.m. instead of the dafter 5 p.m.
    Man. City looked more dangerous but Man. Utd. surprised them with a break-away goal. And did it again for a 2-0 lead at half time.
    A chance to read some of the paper during the second half as City never looked like they were going to score the 3 goals they needed to win. They managed one after 86 minutes but that was as close as they got despite 7 minutes of time added on.

Getting down to basics

What an election is really about! Not that Beer Smarmer and Eddie Gravy, the Man Who Let Horizon Happen, will admit it.

 

Good ‘get out of that’

A Daily Disaster reader pointed out that if it is as hot now as it was 2,000 years ago, as the climate criminals are claiming, that indicates that the global temperature is cyclic with a long period and quite independent of what us humans do.
    Which is a good ‘in their tracks stopper’.

Yesterday’s Big Lie

Beer Starmer’s claim to be working class. He’s never done a stroke of useful work in his life. Pulled a few, yes.
    It was telling that when he was confronted on TV, he couldn’t come up with what a definition of working class is. Just another political fraudster.
    You can tell there’s a general election coming up.

Total Tripe

Why would anyone think Michael Gove not standing for re-election will be fatal to the prime minister? It’s the sort of BS you’d expect from someone desperate for something to pad out the Mark Dolan show on GB Views.

Which bloody general knows this?

“An object that catoptrophobes fear” (6) in an alleged general knowledge crossword?
    Who the BFH knows words like that? The answer is mirror, by the way. Utter fucking garbage.

Got that right

Pay tribute to our D-Day heroes, said the advert.
    Okay, you definitely are paying if you have to cough up 12 quid, plus another 3 quid postage, for a 50p coin.

Makes a change

I seem to be in step with the majority for once in that I agree that the Tory ‘grandee’ Kenneth Clarke should have his peerage forcibly removed by an Act of Parliament if he won’t surrender it voluntarily.
    His arrogance over the contaminated blood scandal is abundant grounds for the boot out of the House of Lords. His behaviour in front of the inquiry just cannot be excused.
    He’s a prime example of a wilfully ignorant politician destroying the lives of others without a second thought.

The next step?

A number of my contacts have noticed the olive oil transition to all liquid. One of the more sceptical of them was wondering if it could become an annual competition along the lines of the one to hear the first cuckoo of spring.
    Maybe with the more ruthless competitors ‘accidentally’ leaving their bottle of EV olive oil somewhere warm, like an airing cupboard.

Yeccch!

Is there a more sickening sight than Eddie Gravy, the Post Office minister who ignored the Horizon criminality, telling us he and the Trivials will give us a better country?
    You’d be hard pushed to find one.

Conditioned Reflex

Just a day or so after the PM set the whole awful election thing going and I find myself switching my ears off when they detect the cliché ‘campaign trail’, knowing that what follows will be yawn-worthy repetition.

Kitchen Science

The Mansion chef has reported that the stock of extra virgin olive oil, which is kept in an unheated larder, has been full of suspended small waxy lumps until this week. Now, it’s a clear liquid. Maybe shifts in the arrival of All Liquid Day for EV olive oil should be used as a measure of how the climate is really changing.

Yes, it’s true

There was some extremely articulate Labour stooge on the Patricks Chrispys show on GB Views last night telling us that we’re worse off now than we were at the end of the last Parliament.
    Which means what?
    If Oh, Jeremy Corbyn has got in, we wouldn’t have been shut down by a plague from China?
    Putin wouldn’t have tried to grab back the former Soviet colony that’s now independent Ukraine and cost us a packet in aid?
    And there wouldn’t be a war in Gaza that’s pushing up transport costs by making ships sail round Africa instead of using the Suez Canal?
    All of which underlines the wisdom of the observation that if a politician’s gob is open, it’s to emit lies.
    Never mind the remote control, switch it off at the mains and dive into your current book, mate!

A start

Crumbs! The Metropolitan Police have decided that the pro-Palestine protest marchers are intimidators!
    Maybe now they’ll start charging them the cost of policing those marches for the last eight months.
    But breath not being held.

No fizzle!

Before the Prime Minister made his announcement, the Westminster Bubble was zizzling with stories about a general  election in the next few minutes. And lo! We got one.
    This is definitely not the way things are supposed to work. Whatever comes out of the rumour mill is just supposed to use up a bit of time and then be replaced by something even more ludicrous.

Election time (to go into hibernation)

Looks like we’ll have a bit more time on our hands for the next six weeks. There will be no point in watching alleged news programmes on TV as they will just be recycling the same political garbage endlessly.

Today’s Mystery

Is it any sort of coincidence that the bad-guy government scumbags in the episodes of series 6 of The Avengers, now being shown on Great! TV, all remind me of the sinister politician sometimes known as P. Hairy Mandelswine?

Today’s Quibble

Why, I keep wondering, is Hudson & Rex, a cop show set in it Newfoundland, Canada, and being shown on Alibi at the weekend, being sponsored by VisitTheUSA.com rather than VisitCanada.com?
    Anything to do with the placeverts for Apple laptops?

A spot of necessary accuracy

Has Susan Davey, the figurehead of Southern Water, actually earned the 4 million quid she’s been credited with by various journalists?
    She might well have been paid that much but the Southern Water customers who have been infected with a ghastly parasite, and the ones boiling their water and drinking it out of bottles, might give you an argument about earning.
    Trade Descriptions Act, where are you?

We’ve got one, too!

President Macron is now being described as all show and not much ‘go’. Which British leader of an opposition party does that put me in mind of?

 

Focus Needed

If France really is descending into lawless chaos, as I read in the Daily Disaster, how come there’s never a mention of this on the BBC TV news?
    That prison van ambush in Marseille to release a bad guy last week is the only recent French news that I recall. And it’s not as if we’re not getting lots of UK-based trivia, which could be ditched.

Lost cause

The phone rings and it’s some Indian bloke on a mobile trying to tell me he’s working for BT and criminals are using my internet line. Isn’t it amazing that these characters can still make some loot out of their well-worn scams? Because if they weren’t they’d have to pack it in and resort to something like shoplifting.

Today’s Question

According to the all-knowing internet, the meaning of SUNDRY is including many things of different kinds, miscellaneous, various.
    Which leaves me wondering “How do you sundry tomatoes to go in a sundried tomato salad?”

Man with a plan?

You really start to question Beer Starmer’s sanity when he comes up with garbage like his stupid pledge list and lets the nation’s sceptics laugh him out of court.
    They get a chance to point out that Labour can’t be trusted to deliver as the Smarmer way isn’t the way Labour’s vested interests work.
    Migration, NHS, wealth creation; it’s all bullshit. Which suggests what? Smarmer has put a huge bet on himself to lose the next election and he’s orf to spend Xmas somewhere posh on the Continent after Labour is wiped out?

Could be a winner!

We are constantly being told that fat people and the sick note culture are the ruination of our society. Which makes it rather surprising that it’s taken someone so long to suggest that body mass index could play a factor in deciding how much someone is paid.
    The more likely they are to be fit and well and on the job, the more they collect.
    Sounds rather too sensible to be allowed to happen.

No luck but bad luck

This year’s April is supposed to have been the wettest on record and it had a catastrophic effect on agriculture. This year’s May looks like it’s shaping up to be really dry, which will also have a catastrophic effect on agriculture.
    Sometimes, being able to win just isn’t on offer.

Got there eventually

Okay, I admit it, I can be slow on the uptake. George Lazenby was a character in the Man From Uncle + 15 years film shown last night and it wasn’t until he started squirting fog and firing missiles from a car with just JB on the number plate that I remembered that he once did a film in which he played a bloke called Bond.

Just a thought . . .

Did Israel put someone called Golan into Eurovision as a way of saying: “We still got the Golan Heights and you don’t!” to its Arab neighbours?

Falls over in amazement

A court has actually ruled that it wasn’t racialist for a British professor to mention to a Japanese visiting professor that she likes sushi, and the tribunal booted the compensation claim into touch.
    Maybe there is still some life after wonk on offer.

No apologies for this!

Is recycling always such a brilliant idea?

P.s.

Why are Scots incredibly excitable?
    Because they load salt onto their porridge and that gives them elevated blood pressure.
    Maybe.

Apologies to Scottish readers . . .

There’s a picture in today’s Sunday Post of a dish of Crappit Heids. That’s cod heads boiled until the flesh flakes off the bones. Eaten with toast or oatcakes.
    With those boiled, white eyes, it looks to me like a picture of Frankenfish!
    And the first 4 letters of the name describe it perfectly!

Political Wisdom

“Under a Conservative government, taxes rise but under Labour, they go up” belongs in the same box as “No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in”.

Madness to match badness

We keep hearing how evil NHS staff are; midwives, obviously; but a few of the patients do their bit to achieve balance.
    Such as the woman who must have cost the NHS a ton of cash by refusing chemotherapy for her cancer and drinking carrot juice instead. Until she was on the point of death and saw the light.

Balkan Balderdash

An old bloke shoots the prime minister of Slovakia, who’s a mate of Putin the Poisoner, five times at close range; but fails to kill him.
    Suddenly, we’re on the edge of another European war. Well, that’s what the crisis confecters would have us believe.
    Some days, it’s hard to decide how many pairs of pants to put on to remain decently covered after the day’s total has been scared off.

The truth is out

  
Midwives are in hot contention for the Worst People in the World Award. They lack of concern for mothers to be and their offspring is being blamed for the decline in the UK’s birth rate over the last few decades as the incidence of wokery and just don’t carelessness grew in the midwifery trade.

Plain daft

Okay, you go to Amazon looking for Kendal Mint Cake offers and further down the page, you find suggestions for other things you might like based, presumably, on what you’ve asked them to search for.
    But Golden Breadcrumbs and Blister Plasters?
    Their AI having a larf? Or just a scam?

They never learn

If Beer Starmer is taking advice from Gordon Brown, the man who stole your pension and let all the banks go bust, then that confirms he should be dropped down a deep, dark hole rather than into 10, Downing Street.
    Brown owes us twenty-one thousand million quid. That’s how much he cost the nation at current prices after he sold off half our gold reserves after depressing the price.
    Are they both in the pay of the Chinese?

Help!

Mistaken key jab on the laptop and suddenly, there was this weird voice talking to me. And not telling me anything I wanted to know.
    No wonder Windows is so huge now if it is packed with stuff I never want to use.

All a conspiracy?

Did that Tory woman who flounced across the Commons chamber to the Labour side do it to cause trouble? She’s going at the next general election, and no one seems to think much of her. Did she do it to stir up the Labour lot and their trade union paymasters? I really hope she did!

When in doubt, give up

According to the UK’s deputy national security adviser, a bloke called Matt Collins, the cyber threat from our enemies outstrips the effects of the security mob’s efforts to tackle it, and “we need to calibrate our responsibility”.
    Which means what?
    Offer the nation a list of things we can’t do anything about and therefore won’t bother trying?

My Thought For The Day

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” was the Bible quotation of the day.
    Okay, worrying about the dodginess of something that’s been in the fridge for a while could well do a bit of life-extending by not poisoning yourself!

Random Rumble

A bloke was complaining that we only hear about cyber attacks by China, Russia, etc. and we never hear about the successful ones launched from the UK, the US and other good guys.
    Someone who doesn’t get the spy game?
    Or someone who’s being deliberately disingenuous?
    I know where my money’s going.

Language deficit

How can you have a Swiss Army knife if it has 99 different tools stuck on to it but they don’t include at least one blade for sharpening pencils? A world gone mad.

In one ear . . .

“BBC iPlayer” has to be the most ignored phrase on TV. When I switch on for the news, I’m not going to be diverted. And when the news broadcast is over, I’ve forgotten what I was ordered to watch on iPlayer. If I ever took it in.

More of it

Will the Israelis invade the United States to help themselves to the weapons they feel entitled to if President Sleepy Joe stops supplying them over Israel’s handling of its war with Hamas?
    Stranger things have happened at sea, or so we’re supposed to believe.

Speculation Corner

That weird portrait of King Charles with a buttefly stuck to it is providing lots of fun for the conspiracy theorists. Did the artist rough in the background, do the face and then go on holiday and forget about finishing it? And had to deliver it in that state when the King’s minions knocked on his door?
    Lots more ideas to come, that’s for sure!

Dopey headline

Also there in front of me: some guff about boat people smashing the 9,000 barrier. Which is idiotic to the max.
    If the cops on the French side of the Channel look on, in fear of attack by criminals, as their customers set sail from their beaches, and our own wonderful Border Farce runs a sea taxi service for the bastards, where is the barrier?

Good Grief!

It was there in front of me in words. Someone reporting that the editor of a publication about gardening reckons we can’t have a more sustainable world until our society celebrates diversity and inclusivity. Just the job for greenfly and snails. And weeds, of course. Warren idiot!

Preach not Practise

Diversity and inclusivity are good if done in the right way, said the routine Labour bloke on GB Views. What he failed to add is that Labour-dominated outfits never manage that.

A script to treasure

A totally brilliant scam on Mission Impossible last night. Put a heater in the room where the bad guy stashes his gold, and melt it so that it runs through a channel in the floor to your guys in the cellar, who recast it as new bars, which can be strolled off with.

Some allsorts are not more-ish

If you’re a Stormy pornographer who’s trying to embarrass a politician, tell a story that’s rather lame in the hope it will be accepted as real rather than made up.
    Why? Because a made-up story would have a better script and less credibility. Get out of that!

Halo slips

The Daily Disaster has been virtuous about not naming the stalker who became the basis for a pay TV show and was outed elsewhere.
    Until she did an interview on ViewTube with a ruthless meeja bod.
    Did they have to publish a review and name the woman? No, but everyone else is doing it and the DD couldn’t be left out.
    Hippos are going to go extinct if they have to meet the demand for hippocrisy at this level!

Nice guy; not!

Something else in the Post was the goods on John Smith, whose standard image is the lost Labour leader who died early and before he could lead us to the promised land.
    Not much cop, a tax & grabber politician and a bloke who turned nasty when he hit the bottle.
    Oh, dear.

Well, logical

Seen outside the local pub during the morning shop – a van for a plastering contractor parked and unloading stuff.
    Getting things ready for the day’s boozing?

Keep smiling!

The prime minister is doing something right if he’s managed to upset Riotous Rona of the Sunday Post with his Pythonesque attitude.
    Instead of plunging into despair, he keeps looking on the bright side of life, and how Rona hates that!

Grrrr! Revisited

The set was tuned to GB Views when I switched on, and there was some character telling us that climate change denial should be grounds for suppressing the offender.
    Well, if there’s nothing we can do about controlling the climate of the planet here, I suppose behaving like a petty dictator gives the Warmists something to do.
    And luckily for the rest of us, they don’t have the power to do any more than rant on TV.

Another Cracker

Bagnaia took the lead for 27 laps of MotoGP @ Le Mans. Acosta managed not to collect anyone else when he slid off the track on lap 4. Bezzecchi won’t win this year; another crasher.
    The comms were talking about mental rain when the forecast was two hours away. A spot of grass-tracking on lap 15. Quateraro gone with 11 to go. And Jack Miller on the next lap.
    Bagnaia and Martin battled for the lead with Marc Marquez third. Martin had the lead into the last lap and Marquez pinched second place!

Not trying at all

The Worst Excuse in the World Award has to go to the bloke behind a West End theatre show which flopped, he reckons, because of Brexit.
    The critics blamed the audience walk-outs and miserable ticket sales on the show being boring. But hey, what do they know!
    The problems seems to be that Europeans will accept any old rubbish but the British are more discerning.

Cracking Finish

Garcia pulled a lead over Roberts & Lopez at the start of 22 laps of Moto2. Canet joined the chasers. 3 crashes in the first 7 laps. Could Canet catch Garcia? Spectacular crash for Artigas with 6 to go.
    Lopez past Canet, Ogura past him for 2nd on the last lap. Roberts got past Canet, forcing him onto the green stuff, and banged tanks with Lopez but stayed 4th.
    Ominous noises about rain after the race!

Reverse logic

If the Office for Budgie Responsibility, which always gets its sums wrong, says we’re out of the recession (if there was one), is that a good reason to P*A*N*I*C?

Meanwhile, in France

Moto3 @ Le Mans started with close racing on lap 1/20. Everyone round okay? Nope, a bike failure in the pits. Rossi was crashed out of the leaders by Muños. Booo! Ogden gone on lap 11.
    Holgado & Viejer did some bumping at the front with 6 to go; no damage. The comms were backing a Big Bang on the last lap. Alonso went ahead with 3 to go. Holgado took the lead back on lap 19 but Alonso went past him on the final lap for the win. Viejer 3rd.

Abundant Justification

Would it be justifiable homicide to kill a crossword compiler who persists in claiming that golden syrup and treacle are the same thing?
    Definitely has to be!

Mind boggler

A Jewish student in his 30s was denied admittance to a pro-Palestinian encampment at Oxford University, I read.
    But why would he want to be there in the first place? You’d think someone of his great age for a student would know that it’s not a brilliant idea. Except for an attention-seeker.

Dregs in charge?

If the letters page of your newspaper is full of readers saying there was no seismic swing to Labour in the Blackpool by-election if the number of votes their guy got was less than the Labour vote in the last general election, why do editors let their minions write this bullshit in the first place?
    Because that’s what was at the front of the paper on the day the result was announced, bullshit about the seismic swing when voters joined the Apathy Party in huge numbers and didn’t bother to get involved.

The higher tech the better

Them Yanks do love their high-tech machines. Exit Knight Rider & Kitt the talking car, re-enter Airwolf on Legend.
    Seen it all before but still we watch.

News that ain’t

The tent city of illegal immigrants in Dublin has been blamed on the Rwanda Bill getting through Parliament here.
    How strange that there was no explanation on offer for why it’s been clogging the pavements for over a year.
    Except when the government hoovered the dregs out of the gaze of TV cameras for things like a parade on St. Patrick’s Day.

Easy Win

Weird women was the starting theme in Wednesday’s issue of the Daily Disaster. One attention-seeker had managed to cram herself into a corset that squashed her waist down to 19". Try running a marathon in that!
    Another, a noted fantasist, was claiming to be such a brilliant motorist that all the men around her go crazy with envy.
    What about the blokes? All that was on offer was Prince Hairy beefing about his dad being too busy to grant him an audience. Not in the same league.

Pragmatic solution

A bloke writing in the Daily Disaster was wondering why there’s no national screening for prostate cancer to keep blokes alive.
    To make room for all the illegal immigrants is the obvious answer.

Shock of the new

There were some entirely new titles for episode 5 of series 6 of The Avengers. But they don’t seem to have stuck.
    And why can’t allegedly Great! TV show the episodes in their proper order? Sheer perversity?

Pointless gesture

I see that the Al Jazeera TV news channel is still there and still offering its views on my TV menu. Which makes the Israeli prime minister’s decision to chuck them out of his country all the more futile. But expecting good sense from politicians is also an exercise in futility.

Near enough is good enough?

If it’s okay for a play built out of one-quarter of the Fawlty Towers episodes to poke fun at the Germans, were we allowed to remember that yesterday is an anniversary of VE Day? Or does the lack of a mention on the TV news means that stuff like that now has to wait until the nearest weekend?

Toys for the rich

Electric cars are not yet the future, we are now being told. Why? Because the batteries have a life of only 8 years before they stop working efficiently. And replacing the battery can cost about three times the value of the rest of the vehicle!
    Which will kill a second-hand market stone dead.

Retro Works

Don’t you just wish British people could just offer a passport at an airport instead of being put at the mercy of buggy software?
    Okay, fingerprints and DNA checks and a letter from their mother with a photograph of the two together for foreigners, especially people from the E bloody U. But give us a break from Border Farce bungling.

No shame

How come the ‘smart’ meter spivs are still being allowed to trash Albert Einstein’s reputation by using a cartoon image of him in their propaganda, and not rotting in the deep, dark dungeon where they belong?

Good to go 2

As Tom Utley of the Daily Disaster observed, how strange Fry and Sumner didn’t notice during the 9 years they were waiting to get to the head of the membership acceptance list that the Garrick is an all-male club and decline selection.
    Always have a good excuse for a whinge up your sleeve when you feel the need to be noticed?

Come on!

Putting peg (3)??? in a crossword. You don’t use a bloody tee for putting. What sort of an idiot thinks that?

Not much of an example

I read that one of the mob of Islamist supporters extracted from UCLA in California is a professor. Sounds like someone who should be put on unpaid gardening leave until he does a grovelling public apology for bringing the university’s staff into disrepute.
    It is definitely unreasonable for a professor to be involved in wrecking the joint.

Some choice

We’re being told that Tony B. Liar brought hope and expectation to Labour supporters in 1997 but all Beer Starmer can manage is to stir up apathy.
    A botched millennium change, rampant cronyism, an illegal war against Iraq and terrorism unleashed, and a trillion-pound Brown Hole in the nation’s finances were what we got from Mr. Liar.
    Maybe apathy is preferable!

Control freaks

That’s the only possible description for the gangs of Moslem councillors who are competing with one other to make up the longest list of irrelevant things for Beer Starmer to promise to do if he wants their support.
    Shame there’s not some mechanism for evicting people who can’t grasp the concept of ‘local’.

Passing off, Passworthy

The film The Shape of Things To Come is billed as a 1979 sciffy adaptation of the H.G. Wells novel. Which is total bollocks.
    It’s just some sciffy stuff with the Wells title stuck on it to give it some cachet. Nothing to do with the Wells story.

All yer own fault

If the mugs in London have inflicted a third dose of that useless idiot Khan’t on themselves, that’s the end to any sympathy for them. When they moan about his UseLEZ and pay-per-mile scams biting their bums, the rest of us can just laugh and tell them they voted for it and there’s no one else to blame.

Is it worth all the effort?

The Big Problem with eating 30 types of plants per week is all the time you’ve have to spend running around, looking for them, and making sure they’re all cooked to your taste; if they need cooking.
    Then there’s keeping track of what you’ve had and when to make sure you score variety virtue points. But that’s something a minion could do. If you feel like wasting your money on a pointless job.
    But it could be something for those Shirking @ Home to do to fill in the time they don’t waste on doing their job.

Good to go

Is it likely that the departure of luvvies like Stephen Fry and Sting Sumner will shatter the all-male Garrick Club?
    It might even trigger a surge of members who would rather not have posturing pillocks around filling the vacancies created in the membership roster.

Anon , Anon, Sir!

There was a picture in the paper the other day of four BBC ‘stars’, all female, who are going to sue the corporation for some crime or other against them. Can’t say I recognized any of them and their names didn’t ring any bells.
    So much for their star quality!

When in doubt . . .

. . . waste some time on trying to distract the customers with an empty promise.
    That Beer Smarmer is a real comic. Promising to bring in more laws against shoplifting for the police to ignore.
    He has also announced that he’s not going to flog a dead horse if he gets to be PM. Cue a chorus of derisive remarks along the lines of: “That’s his exercise programme abandoned!” and “No one would buy one off him anyway.”

More of it?

There were hints in yesterday’s Sunday Post that the phone company EE has a Horizon-style glitch. Mysterious and very expensive calls to the United States lasting just seconds.
    EE is claiming that the customer made the calls but it’s also offering a 50% refund on the cost of phantom calls.
    Make what you will of that.

Floppy Logic

The ‘worthy’ lobby is at it again, pretending that only white people, who are intrinsically evil and probably all spiritual members of the KKK, and Islamists wear face masks when causing trouble.
    Which means that when Black Lives criminals go on the rampage, or gangs in, say, L.A. or east London, and do it with their faces covered, they’re not wearing masks, it’s something else?
    There’s no contortionist like a worthy one!

Pass

Banana peel breakfast cake made with unpeeled bananas sounds revolting. If that’s what the BBC thinks is Good Food, it doesn’t say much for the Beeb’s values.
    And how British is it to pretend that good food has to involve using ingredients that aren’t on the shelves of my local fruit ‘n’ veg shop?

Spot On

The gang who delight in creating phoney world records were at it again, claiming that the ‘swing to Labour’ in the Blackpool by-election was a record.
    The best comment I’ve seen about that is: “Numbers don’t lie, just those who abuse them.”
    Which is a pretty good response to the Labour vote falling in a meaningless election, which will have to be redone later in the year, and the lack of endorsement of Labour.

Bam to the power of boozle

I had a really weird nuisance call the other day. The source number was 02920 570 076. Nothing for a while when I picked up the receiver, then a female voice telling me the number had not been recognized and I needed to dial again.
    Which wasn’t exactly easy if I hadn’t dialled a number in the first place!

Ah, so that’s what they’re for

If you see a trigger warning, it could well be telling you that the product/production isn’t tediously woke and bland, and could well be worth your while indulging in.

Not true

It has been debunked, the conventional wisdom that women feel the cold more than men and need things warmer.
    But if that were true, why do they keep telling us it’s too hot and they want a window open?
    The word ‘wisdom’ clearly needs to be deployed much more carefully.

Labour unloved in Blackpool

The party’s vote fell by 17% compared to the 2019 general election in last Thursday’s by-election, and the turn-out was about half of what it was for the general election.
    So much for Beer Smarmer’s ‘seismic swing’
    His gang definitely isn’t inspiring the Seasiders.

Falling short

On the lunchtime news yesterday, we were told the Tories had lost 154 council seats at the latest count. But only sixty-some went to Labour. Which indicates there is no great appetite for the Smarmer Army as an alternative to the Conservatives.

Defects will out

Is it a surprise that a few people reacted adversely to the Astra-Zeneca vaccine for the Chinese plague? Given the number of doses administered, and the number of lives saved, the vaccine was as safe as could be reasonably expected.
    But there will always be a few exceptions. Tough for them, blame their genes.

Life Constant

How come there’s always some town party due when there’s a creature on the rampage? A shark, a meth-gator, whatever. Is it like the laws of the Medes & Persians, which altereth not?
    And naturally, there’s always gotta be another one when the threat has been blown to bits.

Thieves’ Charter

What’s all the current stuff about slavery really about? It’s just scrounging politicians looking for mugs to stuff their pockets full of other people’s money so they can get on with their jet-setting.
    Payments to the people? No bloody chance.

Appearances matter

A politician needs to look the part. You don’t think ‘Scotland’ when you look at Humbug Useless. Similarly, you wouldn’t think ‘India’ if they elected some white bloke as their president.
    This may not get the approval of those who wish to be colour blind and do down people with a white skin at every opportunity, but human nature always wins in the end.

No point

A Holocaust memorial in a park on the route of a march of Islamists was covered up last Saturday but none of the other 13 memorials was affected. But why would they need protection if they were in no danger of being vandalized?
    One covered, all covered? And that’s supposed to make sense?

Does Work

If American colleges have to send in armed police to move out the scumbags who are disrupting everything, S.O. be it. Even if it upsets the libertines.
    It’s not as if the whingers have anything useful to offer as an alternative.

Might Work

It has been suggested that we need the equivalent of the National Guard in the US to police street marches by the supporters of Islamist terrorism.
    Big, tough blokes with guns and a will to jump on bad guys, instead of wimpy coppers taking a knee all over the place, might just be a way to restore a bit of lor ‘n’ orda.

All his own work

The bloke at the start of the Rees-Mogg show last night on GB Views did a good job of exposing himself as a blatant bigot. No stitching up needed, just sit back and let his sort dig their own hole!
    Scotland shouldn’t let Kate Forbes be the SNP leader, she’s a Christian!? Not a word about Yousaf, who’s a Moslem, which has to be just as bad.

More of them?

There must be a fair number of duffers in Westminster if our PM was reduced to giving Lord Dave the ex-Leader the job of Foreign Secretary.
    That’s Dave the Duffer, who wants us to believe that Brexit is responsible for all the bogus asylum-seekers and would-be sex industry workers who flood across the Channel.

Sounds Credible

Why are the SNP’s leaders such duffers? According to the expert commentator J. Rees-Mogg, MP, all the clever ones get seats in the Westminster parliament and only the duffers stay at home.
    Which is certainly almost true about the Greens, except that they’re all duffers if they think ending the use of oil and gas here will Save the World.

A whinge too far

One of my correspondents was amused to read that someone was ‘surviving’ on a food budget of £30/week. If you’re not blowing six quid a pop on Marks & Sparks egg & cress sandwiches, and you’re buying and cooking food for yourself, it’s easy to create a varied and enjoyable diet on that amount.

Warned off too late

What exactly is the point of writing a TV review on some load of junk on Channel 4? One that gets only 2 stars? Other than to put the reviewer’s masochistic tendencies on show if he didn’t watch something decent.
    Didn’t watch it myself. I never see anything worth watching on Channel 4.

Mission Unnecessary

Do we really need a new book with a story on why the Beatles split up? It’s just another gimme the money. And you can be sure there’ll be another along with a different story in due course.

Mission Impossible?

The leader of one African country is so outraged by the idea of a ban on hunting trophies here that he threatened to send 10,000 of his country’s unwanted wild elephants to Hyde Park.
    But how can he get them here? They’re a bit big to send out into the Channel on a rubber dinghy, expecting our Border Farce to import them.
    And it’s just a ban on bringing trophies home, not a ban on rich Brits going to Africa to blaze away at the wildlife.

Not the boss

“Yousaf digs in” was the headline in a Saturday paper being recycled. Definitely not going. But a couple of days later, he was gone.
    Which shows exactly how much he was in charge of the SNP mob!