Everyone knows this

It doesn’t matter if the Labour party or its leadership does or doesn’t support a cease-fire in the Middle East.
    No one there is listening.

Ham plus ass

Does anyone really care what Alan Partridge, a.k.a. Steve Cougan, thinks about the monrchy and whether he thinks monarchists are idiots or geniuses?
    No?
    Right answer. Still his wibblings give newspaper columnists something to counterblast about.

Masochism Corner?

What sort of sad bastard wants to wallow in a string of videos about the infant–killer L. Letby, which the Daily Disaster seems to think are essential viewing? There are people around who need to get a life urgently. Not that they will, of course.

Also never on the cards

Any chance of the judge Lord Summers getting the sack for making a total bog of a rape case, as reported in the Sunday Post last week? Yeah, right.

Never on the cards

Apparently, yesterday was National Cat Day. Did anyone notice? Not even the Mansion cat here!

Some perspective

“She is a gold medal-winning Olympian and a rising star on television”, I read. But when I got the the lady’s name; nothing. Not a flicker of recognition.
    Such is the illusion of celebrity!

It Izzard not to mock!

If an MP tells the Commons she’s a woman in her 50s and there are cries of, “No, no!”, do they come from people who think she’s really a bloke in drag?

Worth the wait

Due to a screw-up by TNT when doing the live broadcast, Moto3 fans ended up with a recording of only part of the race in Indonesia and had to wait for the replay in the evening to see 19 laps on a hot and sticky track.
    Öncü was on pole but went backwards. Plenty of early action at the front. Sasaki was crashed out on lap 2. The leader kept being shuffled back. Holgado managed to get into the points. Öncü had another spell in the lead at half-way. Masia took the lead with 4 to go, then Alonso and he stayed there. Furusato & Veijer joined him on the podium, Masia was 4th and Holgado reached 6th behind Öncü.

Main Event

There was some tough overtaking on lap 1/26 in the Thai MotoGP race. Martin was leading and Alex Marquez was up with the leaders. Until he fell off on whilst trying too hard on lap 10.
    Brad Binder had a real go at Martin with 7 laps left and got past; only briefly. Bagnaia was able to close right up on them. Binder went ahead on lap 22. Martin retook the lead on lap 25 and stayed there. Mark Marquez stayed on his bike and finished 7th.

Conditional Charity

Text money to the RNLI? Only if they guarantee to stop hoovering up migrants in the Channel and taxi-ing them here.

Still out East

They had a nice day for 22 laps of Moto2 in Thailand. Canet’s jump start was the main talking point in the absence of any excitement on the track. A couple of riders toward the back were gone in the first 4 laps.
    Jake Dixon had a horrible crash on lap 5 and Vietti, into whom he ran, fell off later in the lap. Aldeguera then Acosta were out in front. Chantra (Thai) was 3rd at the finish.

Crossword Inspiration

Clue: Rod for stirring a fire.
Answer: How about Rod Stewart? He’s not too old to wield a poker.

Not concerned

The lithium in electric car batteries burns at 2000c, I read.
    Two thousand cents is only twenty dollars.
    That’s nothing to worry about.

Pushing the envelope

Seen in passing, a pub outdoor sign announcing that lunch would be served from 12-7 p.m. Some of us have had their dinner by the end of that time frame.
    There is also a ‘kids menu’; presumably for cannibals who like their flesh young and tender.

It’s not all dangerous

Is it remarkable for a Jewish woman to go from here to Israel to feel safer?
    Not if she manages to park somewhere that’s well away from the Palestinian enclaves.

Short-changed

After watching a recording of the film Scanners (1981), which I haven’t seen for long enough to forget most of the plot, I’m feeling very disappointed.
    Only one exploding head! Booo!

The mathematics of outrage

A holocaust is defined in my dictionary as a huge slaughter or destruction of life. It’s usually applied to the mass murder of 6 million Jews in the 1940s. Which makes it inadequate for the slaughter of 30-40 million Russians during Stalin’s reign.
    Israel is now applying the word to the mass murder of 1,400 Jews beside Gaza in 2023. Which makes the number of deaths of Palestinians in Gaza at least a quadruple holocaust by the new definition.
    Does anyone in their government get that?

She don’t care?

Old headline in a paper being recycled: it was all about an asylum lawyer telling us 80% of her customers are fakes.
    Not too embarrassing to make her get into another line of work, though!

Also wonderful

The evil left is trying to do a similar job on the noted and excellent author George Orwell with a campaign of outright lies, which has outraged his family.
    Eric Blair, to use his non-writing name, saw through the left and lampooned them mercilessly, which they find unforgiveable, no matter how justified it is.

Footshot!

Sticking inverted commas around ‘prove’ in a headline about videos proving Hamas terrorists are depraved injects doubt into the alleged proof, and leaves the reader applying a sceptical frame of mind to the article that follows.

How wonderful

Mike Yarwood, noted TV impressionist, is the latest celeb of yesteryear to have his life trashed by a family exposé.
    Wot attention-seeking rotters.

Ask and get!

I did a ‘Wot next?’ about the $6M Man and the telepath. Gulp! Steve Austin versus Big Foot! That’s a pretty good one.
    The Sasquatch turned out to be a robot built by aliens. A real bunch of arrogant scum-suckers. But I can see a way they’ll be wiped out in part 2 of the tale.

Things to come

In any war, the winning side can get away with anything. But its leaders will get a terrible slagging off from historians trying to get themselves noticed when those leaders are safely dead.
    The corruption-prone prime minster of Israel looks set for a particularly bad time of it front in the day. [opposite of back in the day.] The Hamas guys, of course, won’t be bothered.

Even more tripe

Some whinger was complaining about our ‘unelected PM’ in the Daily Disaster the other day.
    Did he mean Mr. Sunak, who was elected to Parliament the last time we had a general election and elected to the position of Conservative leader; and automatically to the role of prime minister as they are the majority party; by its members?
    The quality of whinges is going down and down. Probably in the name of equality and diversity. Even the pig ignorant have to have their views paraded.

Spot the difference

War is a great leveller. The Israeli president reckons Hamas is cruel and inhuman, and needs to be wiped out without mercy. Which has to include being cruel and inhuman to Palestinians in general.

Busted credibility

There was a BBC reporter in ‘southern Israel’ yesterday sans flak jacket and sans tin hat. Net Zero credibility if she was supposed to be somewhere dangerous. The bloke in south Gaza had a flak jacket but no tin hat. Even so, he had credibility. Even if his flak jacket was a scruffy brown one rather than one of the neat blue ones with a ‘PRESS’ logo.

Confected outrage

Is it ‘chilling’ that Hamas terrorists have instruction manuals? It’s standard operating procedure for everything, especially military and paramilitary outfits.
    Which makes the ‘chilling’ just headline writer’s wibble.

All in the mind

At little girl who’s a telepath on the $6M Man then a little boy who’s a telekinetic on Walker, Texas Ranger! Wot next!
    The kid had his own personal AI system but at least Walker is for real. His hat falls off when he’s slugged from behind.

One to avoid

The NatWest bank seems to be getting a well deserved slagging off over its hypocritical attitude to the debanking of Nigel Farage by its client company. All of which makes me wonder just how nasty my own bank is behind closed doors.
    The people there may be totally great, but the stain of contamination by nasty bastards spreads very easily within an industry.

Makes a good headline

A young female conscript in Israel told the Daily Disaster she’s preparing to fight for her nation’s survival.
    Really? Against Hamas, all 40,000 of them?
    With Sleepy Joe and the resources of the USA on her side?
    Pur-lease!

No mean feat

Sir Beer Starmer seems to be doing a grand job of making the Labour party even more toxic than it was when Oh, Jeremy Corbyn was in charge.
    Claiming that Israel has every right to inflict mass starvation on the Palestinians in Gaza with a blockade of everything didn’t exactly help the Starmer cause.

No great sense of urgency

In the series 3, episode 14 of the $6M Man, back in 1975, Oscar was going on about how great hydrogen fusion as a power source would be.
    50 years later, it’s still as far away as ever and we’re lumbered with windmills that don’t provide any power if the wind isn’t blowing at exactly the right speed.

Name deficit

Calling a revenge attack Operation Swords of Iron gives it a rather spuriously dramatic ring. Steel swords would be more effective & businesslike than iron ones.
    A better alternative would have been to go for something totally unmilitary, such as Operation Fur Boots.

Casual misinformation

I watched the 9 p.m. news on GBViews last night before going to the recording of Carmageddon. Mark Dolan started waffling about a swing to Labour in the recent by-elections at the start of his programme.
    In one of the elections, my expert assures me, the Labour vote fell compared to the turnout in 2019, and just 5% of the Tory voters who didn’t bother last week returning to the fold would put both Labour place-holders back in their box.
    So where’s the swing?

Too tough

It was still ’orrible when the grid lined up for 23 laps of Moto2. There was a dramatic crash on lap 1 and 3 more were gone in the next 2 laps. Arbolino went out in front, Sam Lowes was 4th and Jake Dixon 5th.
    Dixon was promoted to 2nd when everyone ahead of him crashed. Then he went, too. 10 crashers by the time they waved the red flag on lap 9. No restart possible. Arbolino, Canet & Aldeguer took the podium places. Half points for all.

Works for me

What do you do when a crazy old coot is shooting at two of your heroes in a daft sciffy film? Drop a car, which was sucked into the air by a magnetic storm, right on top of the coot!
    Maybe they should have called the firm Carmageddon because there were coming down like thick hail in the final half hour.

So much for sunny Oz

Wet, windy and ’orrible for Sunday’s Moto3 race. There was a real fog of spray on lap 1/21. Fernandez pulled a gap at the front, 4 chasers.
    Öncü nearly fell off with 7 to go. He dropped back to 3rd behind Sasaki then 4th.
    Crumbs! Fernandez was gone from the lead at turn 11 on the next lap. Öncü took the lead on the last lap, putting Sasaki down to 2nd. Kelso, in 3rd, was on the podium for the first time ever.

Bit of a change

The weather forecast for Sunday was so dreadful that they decided to run the important MotoGP race @ Phillip Island in Australia a day early and let everyone else struggle the following day.
    No rain, not hot and 27 laps of a racy track. Martin pulled a gap from pole but the comms were wondering if he’d made the right tyre choice more or less right from the start. Marc Marquez was up with the leaders then dropped back. That Honda ain’t much cop.
    Digi closed in on the leader as the end approached with Brad Binder and Zarco behind him. Binder went 2nd with 5 laps to go.
    Martin had no tyre left on the last lap. Zarco went past him for his first win. Bagnaia was 2nd, Di Giannantonio was 3rd and Martin finished 5th behind Binder.

Who’s she?

Spotted – a very familiar face playing a bad gal in Final Voyage (1999), the hijacking of a cruise liner by a really hissy bunch of scumbags. Who came up against a hero with more of those guns that fire 5 millions bullets without needing a reload.
    Lots of cogitation but it wasn’t until the final credits rolled that I spotted the name Claudia Christian, a.k.a. Commander Ivanova of Babylon 5, being ‘Max’ the bad gal.
    Maybe I need to dig the box set out and take a stroll through it if I’m struggling to recognize the leading characters.

Just what we need. Not!

Gangs of crisis clowns telling us that crumbling and ancient Joe Biden’s doddering could turn a small war in the Middle East into World War Three.

Off target with the name

They missed a trick when they called the synthetic creatures in the daft sciffy film Stormageddon (2015) Adam. They should have called the evil ones Max. They were all dead ringers for Mr. Headroom. But nowhere near as much fun, having a compulsion to do mindless booting and bashing.

Worth a watch

Blimey, the Bond films that seemed contemporary are getting quite old. Tomorrow Never Dies, which was on ITV4 the other night, is over a quarter of a century old.
    Pierce Brosnan certainly looks a lot younger and fitter and suited to the part than the old bloke who’s been doing them lately.
    Isn’t it great when your gun will fire 5 million bullets and not need reloading? Except once in a blue moon when there’s a bit of a lull in the action.

They keep on doing it

Back in the day, when the Bremoaner chancers were demanding a people’s referendum after they got the wrong result on Brexit, people started asking who they thought voted in that referendum. Was it penguins, not people?
    The same applies to the People’s Postcode Lottery’s TV adverts. Who else has a postcode? Penguins?

Sainthood shredding

There seems to be something of a backlash growing against veteran TV performer Sir David Attenborough. His claim that the planet is dying and humans are killing it panders to the delusions of know-nothing kids but he seems to be drifting away from reality at an alarming rate.

No stunning victory after all

After every election comes the glorious garbage about swings. The two by-elections this week are typical examples. We were told of a huge swing to Labour, but a look at the numbers of votes cast blows that garbage out of the water.
    In Mid Bedfordshire, Labour’s vote fell compared to 2019. It went up by 800 in Tamworth but that’s nothing compared to the 20,000 Tory voters who didn’t bother. And in Mid Bedfordshire, it took 26,000 Tory voters not bothering to lend the seat to Labour.
    Hardly a totally massive endorsement of their shifty and hypocritical lead.

Alternative needed

Do convicts in prison ‘serve’? How does being banged up and isolated at huge expense to the taxpayer amount to ‘service’ of any value to the great British public?
    We definitely need another word for their condition with buckets of attached scumbag implications.

How strange

Joanna Lumley, actress person, didn’t have her age added to an article about her desire to deport all the elephants in UK safari parks and zoos. I wonder why. It’s a rule that seems to apply to everyone else.

Didn’t need to blink to miss it

Did anyone notice that Wednesday was International Pronoun Day? No? Soooo bloody forgettable.

Worth a try

What’s a good way to upset Labourites? I read that they take great umbrage to having their leader called Beery Glitter after getting showered with the stuff by an exhibitionist at his party conference.

Banksters’ Moll?

No wonder banks are hated for the amount they charge if Lloyds is offering counselling to staff who were upset by what the mob at the Tory party conference had to say about trannies.
    Not much hope for the future with that sort of person about to take over. Where are all the death-rock asteroids when you need one?

Homage or scavenging?

Crumbs! Steve Austin does the Dooks of Hazzard in a bushy false beard! Aided by his $6M worth of bionic bad guy intimidating gear, of course.

Yeah, right

The weather bods on the BBC keep trying frighten the pants off us but they are just mocked like mad now. We were supposed to disappear under a deluge of rain yesterday. But it was windy but warm and sunny in the morning, and people had washing out to take advantage of excellent drying conditions.
    Clouds and a smattering of rain didn’t arrive until about four p.m. And then the rain was nothing much.

Image is all

The BBC ramps up the tension? The lady stationed a good mile away from the Gaza border hasn’t been wearing a tin hat. Until yesterday.
    Did she look in any more danger than the day before?
    Nope.
    And if Creaky Joe was in Israel, there was no doubt that he would blame the Gaza hospital massacre on the Palestinians.

A spot of speculation

I’ve not seen the Jimmy Savile 4-part series, The Reckoning, but I read that it was made by ITV Studios. Which set me wondering about the title.
    Is it a yah-boo at the BBC because the guy who put the ‘vile’ into Savile never faced any sort of reckoning?

Afterthought

As the country is wall-to-wall bad guys at the moment and there is no room in the nation’s gaols, maybe the judge should have ordered Bernie to build a 1,000-cell gaol instead of dropping the fine on him.
    It would certainly have been of more use because we just know the civil service & quangocrats will only waste the fine on projects that don’t serve any useful purpose because they are just a source of income for them.

Wrong Formula

Oh, dear. Bernie ‘F1' Ecclestone is in real trouble. He has upset Platell Speeple of the Daily Disaster by coughing up a fine of £635 million for involuntary tax evasion instead of keeping the cash and doing his public duty by going to gaol.

Design Flaw?

Aren’t American cars amazingly combustible! Just a tap from a bad guy fleeing Walker the Texas Ranger and Kaboom! Up the tapped car goes in a mighty fireball.

Oh, well

The way to do the NHS a favour, we were told some years ago, is to die early. The ways to achieve this on offer were watching TV for more than 3 hours per day, staying in bed overnight for more than 9 hours and having more than half of a glass of wine per day.
    Some seniors have mentioned to me that they have been doing all three for ages and it’s doing them Net Zero damage.
    Looks like the NHS needs another plan.

Reality Hurts

It should be obvious to everyone, the UN included, that Israel doesn’t balance revenge against humanitarian considerations.
    It just bombs anywhere it thinks its enemies are hiding and if innocent Palestinians get a share of the bombing, too bad.

We need some steel!

TV companies should stop putting apologies for wimps and whingers in front of old films and TV shows.
    “Toughen up, you rats, watch something else or just drop dead.” should be the message for them.

It’s what he does

It’s dishonest for Sir Starmer to complain about a housing shortage without mentioning the migration crisis; Labour assisted; that’s causing it, a pundit complained.
    But Starmer’s a lawyer AND a politician, which means that honesty and transparency are never going to be his forté.
    This is the bloke who was telling us Oh, Jeremy Corbyn was his best mate and would be a triffic PM not too long ago, let us not forget.

Unclean hands

Hamas kills Israelis face-to-face. Israel bombs Palestinians in convoys trying to obey their order to get the hell out of north Gaza.
    Everyone ends up terrified then dead either way.

Way off beam

A professor who is a security expert was expressing surprise that Israel’s Intelligence services and the government had no idea what Hamas was plotting.
    What if they were pretending to turn a blind eye in the hope that a small, easily crushed shindig would avert attention from the stack of corruption charges their PM is facing? And they got the size and crushability of the shindig hopelessly wrong?

Cynicism is the only response

Nothing like a major humanitarian crisis to take attention away from a corrupt politician.

Blame the dirty track

It was looking a bit brighter for 27 laps of MotoGP in far off Indonesia. Lots of action on lap 1. Martin and Viñales gapped the field. Marini crashed out on lap 3. Espargaro went on lap 4. Marc Marquez and his uncompetitive Honda went down on lap 8.
    Brad Binder pushed Olivera off the track for an excursion with 17 laps to go. Fernandez then Mir crashed on lap 13. Martin crashed out from the lead on lap 14!!! Zarco was gone a couple of laps later.
    A ‘finish and you get points’ day?
    Bagnaia closed up on the leader, Viñales, and went past with 7 laps to go. Quateraro chased hard but stayed 3rd. Bagnaia is the series leader again, just ahead of Martin.

Something else weird

Why that vast multi-storey fire-trap car park at Luton airport didn’t have a sprinkler system. Let us hope the amount they saved on their water bill is enough to pay for demolishing the wreck and doing the job properly.

Just Weird

Why would a fire exit in an American apartment building have a sign on it reading: FIRE EXIT “ONLY”?
    That could be taken to mean the ‘only’ is optional rather than as an indication of exclusivity. Which it would be without those double quotes.

More civilized

There was a crash at turn 1 as 22 laps of Moto2 started. Canet lead from pole. Another crash on lap 3. Acosta took the lead. Another gone on lap 6. Then there was a horrific high-side with 13 to go.
    Jake Dixon lost 5th place whilst trying too hard with 8 laps to go. Sam Lowes was running 9th. Aldeguer was 3rd behind Acosta & Canet at the finish. Dixon bagged 4th right at the end, Lowes was 10th.

One to forget for 96

It looked a bit grim & grey in Indonesia for 20 laps of Moto3. Holgado weaved his way to the front. Nasty crash on lap 3. Masia went ahead for a while, 7 at the front, 4 chasing.
    Morera took the lead. Holgado was bumped off the track at a corner and found himself in the lead by cutting it! Having to do a long lap put him down to 10th.
    Some place swapping at the front with 2 laps to go. It was Morera, Alonso and Muños at the end. Holgado finished 9th but facing a time penalty likely to put him out of the points.

Universal Attraction

They really were all at it – there was Steve McQueen as a dodgy reporter in an episode of the Alfred Hitchcock show. He goes to meet a guy in a bar, who claims he’s a Martian, who was in gaol there!

Life doesn’t have to make sense

It’s okay for coppers to be bent, I read. It’s just the police embracing diversity.
    Ah, I knew there had to be a reason for it.

Daft TV advert

Go to Currys and the staff are a buncha birds in long, fake beards with a bushy moustache.
    Right! You’re going to take them seriously when they’re trying to see you computer stuff, etc.

Great Idea

A lady in Sandbach suggested that sticking a fine on anyone who misses an NHS appointment is a bad idea. Stick a red flag on their account and demand a fee if they ever dare to ask for another, is her solution.

Job creation?

After reading an article by a bloke from a crisis research institute about the trouble in the Middle East, I felt it was a list of suggestions offered to the world’s bad guys to help keep the author in crises to research!

Stuck in the middle

What has multiculturalism done for us – filled London’s streets with mobs, one lot supporting Hamas terrorism*, the others backing Israeli apartheid**.
    * alternatively, it’s decolonialism, ** IRA definition.

Acute observation

About all the Just Stop Oil bunch have achieved is to tell us how many gullible idiots there are, all waiting to be exploited by spivs who are hoovering up taxpayers’ money with scams that will have Net Zero effect on the planet’s climate.

We’ve been there before!

Reading the BlackFlag News archive for the summer of 2018 makes what’s going on now look just like an action replay. Back then, the NHS and GPs were unable to cope, and the Labour party was all over the place.

Why not?

There was someone called Gardiner in an Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode, which made me wonder if it’s an anglicized version of the name of a French family, which made a point of dining at railways stations.

And another

Graphs are also pretty good for creating a totally misleading impression. The Labour vote in the Rutherglen by-election in Scotland fell by 1,000 compared to the 2019 general election but lots more SNP and Tory voters stayed at home. Which let the papers confect graphs showing a totally bogus 25% swing to Labour from that lower vote.

A great convenience

What great things single and double inverted commas are. They let newspapers pretend all sorts of strange and daft things are true without have to back up rumours and hearsay with hard facts.

Suicide mission?

It’s rather self-destructive for the medical ‘experts’ who were telling the government what to do about the Chinese plague to claim they were being used as human shields.
    If they’re admitting that the advice they were giving to the government to follow wasn’t worth anything, why would anyone ever listen to them again?

Excuses, Excuses

Did anyone really expect anything other than a “Not me, Guv” from the BBC over its endorsement of J. Savile, accused but unconvicted paedophile & abuser? No?

Action this day!

If the medical profession is certain that there is no such thing as a male menopause, all the public sector managers who are blowing millions of our cash on giving blokes a year off should be sacked as unfit for purpose and added to the register of useless idiots.

She never will be missed

Will we be able to survive without Polly Willerbee on ITV 1? Well, as we never watch it, no problem. And why is anyone watching TV at 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. instead of working or doing something useful?

Baffling

Sonny Bono did a lot of singing in an episode of the $6M Man, which left me wondering how he got to be a celeb with such a bloody naff voice!

Over-egging

Doesn’t the reporter in the big tin hat and the enormous flak jacket look a right twit! Nothing warlike is happening anywhere near him, of course, but he obviously feels he has to look the part.

They were all at it!

Such as a very young Roger Moore being a Scotland Yard clever dick in an Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode.
    Ever the good guy, he was preventing the evil government from stealing a lady’s inheritance.

Stuffing & Nonsense

Would the crazy bloke who got an AI to talk him into trying to kill Queen Elizabeth really have faced the hangman if he’d done it in 1998, before the death penalty was abolished?
    Total non-story filler, folks. No way he would have. And there wasn’t a hangman any more anyway.

Wrong message

Is it appropriate to call someone a victim if they end up dead after asking someone else to help them end an unwanted life? Sounds like just lazy use of inappropriate jargon.

Sneaky but nice

Brilliant idea of the Health Secretary’s – fast-tracking the registration process for temporary doctors, mainly from India, to do a Ronald Reagan on the politically motivated strikers.
    That’s the crew who are trying to bring down the government and inflict the appalling Beer Smarmer on us for their own personal profit via demanding a totally unreasonable pay rise.

Quite constant

62 years ago this week in the Sunday Post featured their front page from October 8th, 1961. And the news that teachers would be leaping out on strike on October 23rd.
    Just as bolshy back then as now.

It was the worst of taste . . .

. . . or should I channel Kenny Everett instead of Charles Dickens and label it “In the worst possible taste”?
    I’m talking about the weird concept that a plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament and kill King James VI/I and as many of his mates as possible could be turned into a musical.
    The claim that the Gunpowder Plot parallels current UK politics suggests that we’re in “the daftest of times” territory.

A helping hand would be nice

“The world is collapsing and it may be nearing breaking point”, the Pope is reported as saying. Okay, why doesn’t he get God to fix it? Or is the omnipresent, omnipotent deity in one of her “Your mess, you fix it” moods?

But so what?

Scottish seagrass can take carbon out of the atmosphere 35 times faster than tropical rainforests, I read. But is there enough to make a dent in the carbon dioxide coming out of Eastern coal-fired power stations?
    We’re in virtue-flagging greenwash territory again.

Election facts

In Rutherglen & Hamilton West, the None of the Above vote was 34.5% in 2019 and rose to 62.8% this year.
    Which demonstrates how totally pointless it is to use this one by election to forecast that Beer-boozer Starmer will become President of the World after the next general election.

Good reason

Why is it a bad idea to go anywhere too far from home in your cosmetic electric car? Because you stand a serious chance of being duffed up in a queue at a charging point.

Red Day? Nope!

As anticipated, the BBC was lying to us on Friday. It wasn’t a red weather day yesterday. It was okay but a bit too windy to be hot.
    This campaign to pretend that the world is on fire is well into the silly zone. Especially with most of Scotland having to put up with torrential rain and 17 flood warnings.

Always worth a watch

You have to give the ‘nado’ fraternity in the film industry a big ‘I’ for Imagination. Water spouts hurling out sharks. Or frozen chunks of exploding ozone! Some rather large and many able to miss buildings and zap fleeing humans.
    Wot next!

When in doubt, make something up

“The stars with Charlotte Tilbury”, read the caption for the photograph in the paper. Who she? was my reaction.
    Of course! Tilbury Docks. A junior member of the family that runs them. What else?

Amplification

One thing that struck me about the newspaper pictures of the Conservative party conference is that the PM’s drainpipe trousers make his feet look ginormous!

More tripe

What exactly does ‘proudly sponsors Sky Arts’ around the Alfred Hitchcock Presents series really mean? That the sponsors pay all the costs for showing the programme so that the viewers are not billed?
    Like as if.

30-Second Solution

Why did BBC 3 waste half an hour on asking Do Black Lives Still Matter? Some black people are really great, some are utter scumbags.
    And all the waffle in the world won’t change that.

Total Tripe

On Friday, as we were sitting watching the lunchtime news with the heating on, there was a weather lady showing England coloured bright red on Saturday. And being showered with derision by the spectators.
    No red on the GB Views weather map from the Met Office later that same day.

Chalk is not cheese

Does anyone care that Kevin Keegan doesn’t want women rabbiting on about the men’s game during football matches? He’s as entitled to his opinion as anyone else, but ‘nope’ as far as the caring is concerned. And he has a valid point that the football men play is not something female pundits have experienced.
    Going on about it is just to fill up TV time and not an excuse for cancellation.

Did they mean that?

Seen in the Daily Disaster: BP Sticking to Looney’s green plan. Well, there’s something calculated to inspire confidence; a green plan cooked up by a looney!

No contest

Which comes first, principles or a job in a shadow cabinet? The latter, of course. A bloke who was dead against nuclear weapons can suddenly be proud of Labour’s nuclear heritage if he gets to be shadow Foreign Secretary.

Frankenstein revisited

A mystery solved. At the start of series 3 of the $6M Man, the dead Jamie is brought back to life with some brain damage and Oscar lies his head off, as usual.

Years too late

Chopping H2S down to size is long overdue. It was Gordon Brown’s idea for wasting billions in the first place, and Dave the Leader and his Liberal coalitionists seemed to think it was a good drain to throw our cash down.
    What would be really nice would be for all the managers who failed to get it built to be sacked on the spot without their fat pensions. But we don’t live in a nice world.

Old, but not as we know it, Jim

Much derision for an article in the Daily Disaster the other day. It was about using computer graphics to show women what they’ll look like in old age.
    Why the derision?
    Because the 42-year-old guinea pig volunteer got to see how she would look at 62.
    Which isn’t even pension age. Trade Descriptions Act, where are you!

Will there be anything left?

A Starmer-led government will abolish private schools with taxes. And do the same for farming and family businesses by hitting them with inheritance tax.
    Whose side is the rotten sod on? Not ours, that’s for sure.

Virtue denied

NHS England announced the banning of a fluorine-containing anaesthetic to save the planet from global warming.
    Shame that a former chief scientist at the Met Office had to tell them there’s no science to back up the woke gesture and it’s just another of their wastes of time.

Up to the job?

Ofcom is supposed to have been deluged with complaints about Lawrence Fox having a go at a female journalist who got up his nose with her whinge about men.
    But are the investigators up to the job of sorting out which are genuine complaints and which are from the people who ended Mr. Fox’s acting career coming back for another boot when he’s down?

Gasps of horror?

A really popular drink at the Mansion is “wider”, which was created by someone who topped up the last half glassful from a bottle of white wine with the last of a big bottle of cider.
    Not half bad, is the general verdict.

Terrorist Turn

Oh, dear! The $6M Man goes in to bat for the IRA (cutely renamed the IBA) in series 2, episode 21. The terrorists operating in an ‘independent’ republic all have Irish accents and the local law enforcement guys all wear not very good copies of British Army uniforms.
    Further proof that the Yanks aren’t on our side and they’re not to be trusted.

Frankenstein TV

Jaime Sommers, the first bionic woman, dies at the end of series 2, episode 20 of The Six Million Dollar Man.
    Miraculously, she is brought back to life for her own series with her memory partly restored, but she can't remember having been engaged to Steve Austin. Or of being killed off, of course. Why let real life restrictions get in the way!

More Cosmetics

Britons eat 2 million cans of baked beans a day, I read, and boffins in Aberdeen are working on varieties that can be grown here to cut the industry’s carbon footprint.
    How curious there’s not a word about the methane footprint if it’s a much more potent greenhouse gas.
    “Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
    “The more you eat, the more you toot!”

Cheating, no question

Does Angela Ripoff’s splits on TV count if she needed some bloke to hold her left leg up in the air and stop her from falling over? No way!
    Where’s dignity in old age?

Useless Blah

The gang moaning about the Rosebank oilfield claim renewables are better for the planet but they never have anything sensible on offer in that line.
    What we need are always-on sources of power, not ones which supply electricity only if the wind deigns to blow at the right speed and/or it’s not cloudy.

Total tossers

The Rosebank oil & gas field development seems to be doing a great job of upsetting the eco-idiots. Even the Dutch ones are convinced it’s going to kill the lot of them.

 

Just plain crazy

That’s the only way to describe comparing the global warming potential of the anaesthetic desflurane with that of carbon dioxide. There can be no comparison between the amounts of the anaesthetic that go into the atmosphere next to the massive emissions from Chinese, Indian and all the other coal-fired power stations.

Aggro-phobic!

Why won’t any party stand up for the rights of women? wailed Jenni Murray in the Mail. Because the leaders don’t fancy the inevitable slagging off from nasty bastards, is the obvious answer.
    It’s clearly why Starmer and that idiot Davey can’t bring themselves to define a woman.

Here comes the sogginess!

A collision at turn 1 of the MotoGP race but both riders kept going. Most dived into the pits after lap 1/24 scheduled to change to a bike with wet tyres as the track was treacherous. Martin lost the lead.
    Espargaro and Marc Marquez were ahead for a while. Martin retook his rightful position. The rain belted down for a while. Bagnaia & Bezzecchi were 2nd and 3rd.
    Lightning on lap 13, Marquez called for a red flag and got it, big crash for Zarco. There was another red flag when the riders were doing a warm-up lap before resuming. Race over. Martin got the win, Marc Marquez was on the podium(!) and Bagnaia got second place.

Why not?

Is it okay for former government minister Matt Hancock to make a fool of himself on TV? Sure, if he’s making an honest living out of it.

Next up

It was elbows out on lap 1/19 in the Moto2 race. Dixon and Lowes were in the top five. Chantra pulled a gap and stayed ahead. Roberts took a trip through the gravel and Sam Lowes crashed on lap 7.
    There was quite an epidemic of crashes after that. Ogura & Acosta took the remaining podium places and Jake Dixon was fourth.

Not fooled

No matter what the BBC weather bloke says, I am not going to believe that 17 deg.C is warm and summery.
    The desperation to push an out-of-control warming myth in Britain is getting really blatant.

Early do!

Moto3 in Japan in the middle of our night had the red bikes ahead on lap 1/17, Öncü and Holgado. Plenty of racing down the field. The next 2 bikes were up with the reds on lap 4. Sasaki went 2nd on lap 5, Holgado went back to 4th behind Masia, who took 2nd then the lead on lap 6.
    The first crash came with 8 to go, lots going on at the front. Öncü crashed with 7 to go. Masia was well ahead. 96 Holgado got past Sasaki, who did him on the run to the finish line for 2nd place.

Spot on

That was a great line from Alfred Hitchcock when he was doing his Presenting on Sky Arts – an ‘adult Western’ has to have a plot that’s over 21 years old.