Wonky calculator?

Some genius got his numbers twisted on in the paper on Tuesday. A 7% rise in the old, swindle state pension, someone who gets it told me, will provide £570/year more, not £750.
    How’s that for lack of inclusion?

Not really trying

The saintly Melvyn Bragg, who has been taking a pop at the BBC for making the working class look miserable and aimless, has written only 40 books? scoffed one of my neighbours.
    Bloody amateur! An opinion backed up by at least 140 volumes by him on several bookcases.

Superflation

Food price inflation is down to a mere 15%, the propagandists would have us believe.
    54.5%
    That’s how much more the packets of standard pâté in our Sainsbury Local have shot up in price, a neighbour who used to buy them reckons. Crumbs!

Texas Immunity?

Walker, the Texas Ranger, busts a drug-packaging operation with a small army of other Rangers. Cue a big punch-up with white powder flying all over the place.
    How come the forces of law ‘n’ order didn’t get wiped out on the drug, letting the bad-guy packers, who were wearing filter masks, leg it?
    Because we were in the last five minutes and the show had to be wrapped up. Real world logic defied.

After Thought

Maybe the newspaper article is part of a plot to make sure that Harry Enfield doesn’t try to become London’s mayor. A spoke (in the wheel) in time saves nine!

Grope Wars!

 It’s rather sad when a newspaper columnist can’t come up with anything better for a lead story than a revelation that she was groped by a comedian a decade or so ago.
    Why? Possibly trying to outdo some other woman who is trying some career wrecking with unprovable alligators from equal antiquity.

Missing out not on the agenda

How very pragmatic of hospital doctors at the consultant level to keep on with their private work when they’re claiming to be out on strike from NHS work. No doubt some of the older ‘juniors’ are doing same but hoping no one spots it.

Not Quite On The Mark

The UFO TV series is an interesting alternative universe. Set in 1980, which was the future when it was made, there’s a moonbase which could still be 40 years in our future, the way things are going. And all those ancient line printers hacking out messages.

Filmic Swindle

It’s probably a bit late to sue the makers of Return of the Seven for passing off as they’re probably all dead by now!
    Return? Okay, they did.
    Seven? There were only six of them.
    The Seven? No bloody way, not the same crew.

Who’s next?

Nurses & junior doctors have had their turn at striking. The consultant mob will be having two days off next month after their juniors have done their 5-day skive.
    There’s definitely a good case for renaming the NHS the Notional Health Service as the waiting list for treatment heads for the 8 million mark.

Why not?

If Billy Gunn is Daddy Ass (instead of Mr. Ass) in AEW, what does that make his his sons? A pair of Ass Clowns?

The way it goes

No officers of Lancashire Police will be sacked for trying to portray the accidental death of Nicola Bulley as suicide whilst bogging up the search for her body. Sounds like a good bet.

Messages from the Madhouse

I’m considering framing last Saturday’s paper as it contains such an array of contemporary weirdness. There’s the March on Moscow that petered out into a diversion to Belarus.
    There’s the story of the nutter who killed a custody officer in a police station because the coppers who arrested him didn’t search him and find the gun he had in his pocket.
    There’s the weird woman who pretended to be a bloke and kept her clothes on, including a hoodie, when she got a girlfriend into bed with her.
    There’s the Labour mental health spokesperson who thinks the NHS should be open to foreigners for free and who’s obviously a mental health case herself.
    All human life is there, as the News of the World used to tell us, I am told.

Connection? None

One does feel there is something twisted about a woman writing to a newspaper to complain about Tory staffers daring to have a party in December 2020 when her husband was sent home from hospital to die – when she found out about the party a year and a half after the event.
    It certainly stifles any reflex sympathy, a demand that everyone else should have been miserable on that day because she was, but that’s human beings for you.
    Everything isn’t connected. Misery is not the default.

Puddled Thinking

Nadine Dorries, still an MP, quoted a M.L. King thought in her newspaper column. “The absence of justice anywhere is the presence of injustice everywhere.”
    Which is wibble.
    If there is no justice in North Korea, Iran and Russia, does that mean Injustice Rulz in Europe and the UK? Even if there’s no connection?

More Schmeducation

The surprising thing is that Rye Collage has any pupils & staff left if children who think a classmate wanting to pretend to be a cat is daft are accused of homophobia – a fear of sameness, which implies that cats & kids are the same.
    You’d hope sensible parents would move their kids elsewhere and teachers with a working brain would look for another job to avoid being labelled idiots & idiocy enhancers.

Off/On target

“Curse of the Titanic”? Curse of the dopey journalist, more like. Curse of Mount Everest because it’s there?
    Neil Hamilton got it dead right on GB Views the other night by saying this trans thing is a minute minority that’s getting way too much attention from wibbler wokists.
    It’s just another distraction from the costa living crisis and all them boat invaders.

Pots & Kettles Come Away!

The prosecutor in the Lucy Letby murder trial accused her of being prepared to publicly trash the reputations of responsible professional people.
    Which sounds very much like sour grapes hurled at someone who dared to trespass on the territory of politicians and people in naff wigs.

The Age of Inventiveness

It can’t be over if there are geniuses around who can get rid of waste plastic by incinerating it instead of dumping it in landfill, or Africa or China, and claim they are generating green electricity from the process.

Heat Haze

Binder zoomed into the lead ahead of Bagnaia at the start of 26 laps of MotoGP with the commentators worried about tyre life. Miller crashed off on lap 2. Quateraro took out fellow French rider Zarco on lap 3 after Bagnaia took the lead.
    Viñales hit the gravel. A couple of bikes croaked because it was hot, hot! Finish and you’re in the points today. Digi was gone with 9 to go.
    Bagnaia was unassailable but Bezzecchi got past Binder for third place.

Wrong accountants

The prime minister is said to have given up on his ban on BOGOF offers to conquer the obesity plague because some genius worked out that it would reduce calorie intakes by just three per day.
    Maybe he should have consulted the accountants who managed to make the SNP’s minimum pricing of alcohol policy look like a howling success.

96 is the number

SLow start for the Brit in Moto2, which was more spaced out than Moto3. Lowes dropped back to 14th then 15th. Lopez led the front 3 in the first half of the race. Dixon went ahead with 10/22 laps to go.
    Dixon bogged up and lost the lead. Ogura led but Dixon came back from 3rd and bumped his way to the lead on lap 21; and stayed there for his first ever GP win. Acosta 3rd.

On the nose

My favourite headline for today, after all the pratting about in Russia yesterday, has to be:
    Early Start to Putin’s Pantomime Season?

Back on bikes

Top rider Holgado fell off trying too hard on lap1/20 of the Dutch Moto3 @ Assen. Two more gone on lap 3, a bunch of 10 out front. Lots of place swapping and barging.
    Nepa led by a few feet when Fenati charged through the field and overtook him with 5 laps to go. Briefly. Masia led on the last lap and held off Sasaki for the win. Fenati was well down the bunch after an excursion off the track.

Feeling left out

How very strange. People are complaining about GPs sending out nanny text messages about drinking lots of water in hot weather and staying out of the sun.
    Not a flicker from mine!

One-way traffic

How odd that there’s nothing on the BBC about members of the Windrush generation and their descendants offering thanks for being allowed to enjoy the benefits of the British Empire at first hand in England instead of at second hand thousands of miles away.

Alternate universes

Realverse: that minisub was as wrecked at the Titanic when contact was lost with it.
Wishverse: a search could save the trippers before their air ran out.
ToldYouSoverse: all the characters crawling out of the woodwork to claim they said it would happen.
Mythverse: going for a look at what’s left of the Titanic is somehow heroic.

Zero, the current buzz

How strange that the government isn’t demanding to know from the Smarmer Mob how spending £140 BILLION of taxpayers’ money over the course of a Parliament on greenwash in the UK will achieve anything other than Net Zero effect on the Earth’s climate. It’s bollocks and deserves the boot to go in vigorously.
    But maybe Sunak and his mob are planning to waste even more dosh on greener wash with the same Net Zero outcome.

Going around

Still with Philip High’s Prodigal Sun, there’s even a world-wide plague in it, like the Chinese plague now. Proving life is just the same damn things recycled over and over again.

Ain’t science wonderful?

It is if alleged experts can use the figures for alcohol consumption in Scotland to prove that the SNP’s minimum pricing policy didn’t work and also that it was a howling success.

No malice, no murder

The Titanic claims five more lives? What total bollocks. A shipwreck that took place over a century ago can’t be blamed for the nosiness of humans, who pushed the envelope and came unstuck.

Cover up but we don’t care

Are we really bovvered about getting some wibble from the Scoffer’s boyfriend to add to what we’ve heard already from the arch-villain of the piece?
    No bloody way.
    So what if there was a cover up at ITV? That matters only to the people making money out of rehashing old scandals. Like the ones who are reminding us that the BBC has spent 30 years trying to cover up what the evil Bashir bloke did to bamboozle Princess Di, that the BBC is trying to pretend that Bashir is at death’s door and should be left alone, even though it’s not stopping him enjoying a takeaway, and asking how weird it is that Prince Hairy has nowt to say about any of this.

Ain’t life sad?

It is when the nutter in charge of the British Army thinks having a diverse and gender-neutral force at his command will give us a unique edge in a war.

Mocking the cat teacher

Schoolkids identifying as dinosaurs? How bloody daft can you get? I’m willing to bet it’s a whole lot more.
    And what was the idea of giving a male voice-over to the female teacher who was going bananas at kids who dared to tell her there are only two genders?
    Or was the actor’s voice – like the ones IRA terrorists get – intended to convey a message?

Ain’t life weird!

The actress Britt Ekland, who’s 80, is still being described in the newspapers as a ‘Bond Girl’ even though she did it getting on for five decades ago!!

Just Distortion

Statistics like the UK throws away 20 million slices of bread per day give the lie to all the doomster claims that we can’t produce enough food to feed the world.
    Distribution is the problem, not production.
    But the doomsters probably don’t have any shares in that.

Just Stop the pair of them!

Do we care as much as Dan Woottonn of GBViews that Hairy & Mhegan are a quel domaged brand?
    Nope. The more ‘domage’ the better.

Rightful Satisfaction

Why are some ‘older people’ living on the edge of a smirk? Because they belong to the 25% of that group who aren’t either overweight or obese!

Tonsorial Triumph

I loved the joke wig Elton John was wearing in his TV interview to plug his gig at Glastonbury.
    As blatantly bogus as you can get.
    Maybe that creepy Starmer bloke should get one to remind us how bogus he is when he puts on his sincerity face.

Some reward!

The people who go to the plague inquiry public hearings are likely to get a dose of the Chinese plague, is the opinion of the alleged experts on these things.

Sorted!

A hundred million quid of our money blown on the alleged inquiry into the Chinese plague and what do we get on the first day from the legal vulture at the top of the tree?
    Everything that went wrong was down to Brexit.
    Well, that’s that sorted out. Move along, nothing to see.

Worth Sharing

A somewhat impatient message to Parliament in the wake of all the fuss about that nasty bloke on ITV’s morning show and the Harmperson kangaroo court:

 

Keep digging

The House of Common Criminals is going to have to get some industrial excavators in to sink to a lower level than its endorsement of the Horrid Harmperson kangaroo court’s verdict on Boris Johnson.
    No wonder the stock of politicians is at such a low level.

Something else . . .

. . . you can get from reading 20th century SF is a feeling that if the human race wipes itself out before the end of this century, it might save a lot of creatures, human & alien, a lot of grief.
    No more politicians, lawyers, strikers!!

Disaster bound

There’s an interesting message in the film Deep Impact (1998). If you want some nukes planted on a comet to deflect it away from a collision with the Earth, send some of the biggest idiots you can find to create screw-ups.

Abandoned Past

I’ve just started Prodigal Sun, an SF novel by Philip E. High. It was published back in 1965 and my reaction to the first dozen pages is that everyone is smoking like the proverbial chimneys.
    How different things are in these enlightened times six decades on.

Useless by name . . .

It was very groanworthy, reading the rant by the SNP First Minister in the Sunday Post. It’s all very well claiming that Scotland deserves the best of everything but that’s not what Mr. Useless and the rest of the SNP have delivered over the last decade and a half.
    Despite enormous subsidies from English taxpayers.

Two horse race

The red bikes zoomed into the lead for 30 laps of MotoGP. Bagnaia stayed there, Miller went back to 4th. Martin was ahead on lap 4. Viñales went out with a croaked engine with 22 to go; very unusual.
    Brad Binder crashed with 12 to go; same fate as Daren in the Moto3 race. Martin & Bagnnaia separated at the front from Zarco. Martin lost the lead briefly but held on to it for the win when he got back in front.

Simple Test

Question: How do you know you’re having a bad day?
Answer: When you’ve had to say “Why don’t you fall on the floor, you bastard?” to unco-operative inanimate objects more than 23 times.

Just bad hats, the lot of them

The more you hear about the antics of ticks on the Commons privileges committee, the more you realize it really is a kangaroo court and not fit for purpose, especially with that Harperson woman in charge.
    But what else do you expect from politicians?

Another Chase

Two in the dirt at turn 1 of lap1/25 in the Moto2 race. Not SLow this week. Acosta & Arbolino were leading. Canet fell off in 3rd place on lap 6. Lowes got to 7th. Would Dixon take second from Arbolino? Nope.

Cloth-Eyes!

The Great British Four In A Bed. Crumbs!
    No, relax, you’ve managed to conflate 2 consecutive programmes in the TV guide. The visual equivalent of cloth-ears.

Duck Broken?

Moto3 in Germ-a-knee! Alibi: wet practice, dry race, sun on the Sachsenring, none on me, 23 laps.
    The 5th place bloke was gone on lap 2, Sasaki leading, 96 behind him at the front of the chasers. Öncü caught Sasaki and they dropped Holgado & Ortega.
    Would Öncü manage his first ever win in 60+ GP races? Past Sasaki at the last corner! One cracked duck.

Reasonable Extinction

Having just finished The Purple Armchair, a 1961 SF novel by Olga Hesky, I’m left thinking the Cetawon aliens have a lot in common with the Vogons in the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.

Degree of confusion

The drunken, junkie Dutchman who murdered a neighbour’s child in Brittany is being positioned as a loner. The first step on the road to the guillotine? Or an alibi on the way to being let off with a caution?

Telling it like it is!

A valued correspondent sent me this comment on the dodgy maths used by pests and I thought it worth sharing . . .

 

Going around

“Chancellor stabs PM in back”
    Worked for Sunak on Boris. Looks like Hunt is shaping up for more of the same on Sunak.
    Sunak isn’t bovvered about tax levels and causing a recession. Hunt is positioning himself as the bloke who will cut taxes and sort everything out.

Negative by Absence

Aren’t most MPs a bunch of slimy stinkers? There’s something fundamentally wrong with a society that lets people like them be in charge.
    Especially if every member of the Commons who dares to challenge a rotten system is liable to be cancelled.
    Everyone with a scrap of decency in them should withhold their vote at the coming by-elections to tell the nation’s politicos that they need to clean up their act.

Ditch her

If you want the face of corrosive jealousy, look no further than the ancient MP Harriet Harperson. She and her privileges committee have put the tin lid on contempt for Parliament. No thinking person can have any respect for the place while the likes of her are allowed to run riot.

Tripe Factory

It has been suggested that Nero played the bagpipes, not the violin (which hadn’t been invented) when Rome was having its Great Fire.
    Suggested by as big an idiot as the one who came up with the fiddled while Rome burned nonsense?

Another Berko?

The Commons Speaker was getting very shirty with the PM for daring to remind Bier Smarmer of his shameful installation of the Nonce Confecter General Tom Watson in the House of Lords.
    Do we have someone who could channel Betty Boothroyd availabe to replace him? He’s well past his sell-by date.

Another shortage?

Are there enough kangaroos to go round to provide a court for President Trump in the US? If it’s going to take a year to put him on trial for doing something that was well within his rights as a former chief executive, maybe they’re having to train some new ones.
    And when are they going to charge Mrs. Clinton and Creaky Joe Biden for doing exactly the same? Apart from never, of course. Politics of the gutter.

Another backstabber?

Having stabbed Boris Johnson in the back, our current prime minister looks like he’s going to suffer the same fate at the hands of Hunt, the current Chancellor, who’s doing his best to position himself a the REAL Tory. The one who’ll cut taxes. Something our PM doesn’t seem to believe in.

Attack of the AI

The crackly machine voice on the phone yesterday was telling me my non-existent Amazon Prime account had been renewed for £95 and I had to press ‘2' to speak to the scammer AI if I wanted to object.
    We’re a long way from perfection in that field.

One way to explain it away

How high is the price of the range-top motor home the SNP bought going to get?
    It was £100K a while ago. The last article I read had the cost at £120K. Will they be able to get it up to the magic £600K, the amount missing from the SNP’s IndyRef purse?
    If so, job done, no mystery about where the cash went, nothing to see, move along there!

Never his fault

It’s amusing that Megan the Merciless is getting the blame for husband Harry behaving like a teenage pillock. Apparently, it’s all her fault for not telling Hairy that he’s being idiotic.
    But if he’s just her puppet with wonky strings, it will go in one ear and out the other!

Nose out

What does it have to do with MPs that this McCall woman who’s in charge of ITV is running the company into the ground by being woke?
    That’s a matter for the shareholders, not the posturing pillocks in Parliament.

Waste of space, literally

What is the point of the news space at the bottom of the BBC News Channel screen if the useless buggers don’t put anything there other than the BBC’s URL?

Cash machine credibility crash

It has happened to me twice now. You get some cash out of the ATM at the Post Office, you look at the account balance printed on the receipt and you think: “What the F?”
    Because the number is totally wrong.
    Do not panic. Look at the four nmbers printed at the end of the row of asterisks below LINK. If they don’t correspond to the last 4 on your bank card, the stoopid bloody machine has given you the wrong ticket.
    But if they do correspond, it’s okay to PANIC!!!!

Know nowts

GB Views, the TV station the experts said would never last, has been going for two years now and its audiences continue to grow. But what do the experts know anyway?

No hurry, no worry

Police Scotland has been (not) investigating the fate of the missing SNP 600 grand for 2 years now. An outsider would be entitled to think they’ve been drinking lots of tea but not doing anything much else.
    You can see why it’s being called Operation Munchausen.

Fawlty Judgement

“Viewers are not stupid,” said one of the contestants on the Dan Woottonn show on GB Views last nite.
    If they’re watching TV at 10 o’clock in the morning, maybe they are!

Very Incestuous

The usual suspects are always going on about radio & TV presenters & shows. Where do they find the time for all the necessary listening and viewing?
    The worst offenders are the ones who make someone else’s story an excuse to go on about how horrible their life has been. To the extent that you end up thinking: “Good! You deserved it!”

Defiance is good for you

No, you bastard, I’m not going to search EE.
    Not until you say ‘please’.
    And probably not even then.

Unknown Sound

What was all that grumbling in the distance yesterday afternoon? Oh, it was thunder. And that was some really torrential rain we got. Everyone had almost forgotten what they’re like!

Things you learn from reading SF

Back at the start of the 1980s, writers were using the mental health concerns that are so popular now. Back at the start of the 1960s, same story!
    People have been worried about being turned into a mental elf for the last 6 decades; it’s not just a recent phenomenon.

Bad day for Mr. Marquez

There was a 9-plane fly-over before 23 laps of MotoGP; to tell Putin the Poisoner to keep the hell away? Manic Marc Marquez got everyone jumping; until he crashed out in 4th place with 17 laps to go.
    Alex Marquez was also gone with 9 to go. Bagnaia had an unassailable lead over Martin. Zarco elbowed through the field to the final podium position.

Wah-wah, Blah-blah!

All these pathetic whinges about what went on in and around ITV shows are getting totally tedious.
    Who cares? Same with Hapless Hairy.
    What about the really serious stuff that’s going on?
    Or don’t that count no more?

Custodians of the flaw

Does anyone have a good word for the police these days? Nothing good in the sense of positive seems to be on offer. On the other hand, ‘useless’ seems to be good in the sense of apt and fitting and applicable.

Number of the Day is 96

Mayhem mid-field at turn 1 of lap 1/19 in the Moto2 race. Almost immediately, Sam Lowes was crashed off by a brain dead move by Lopez, who got just a long lap penalty, which he bogged and had to do again.
    Acosta developed a big lead over Arbolino. All the racing was going on behind the front 3. 96 Dixon was eventually a distant third.

Rotters!

BTuselessSport is getting a good booting @ the Mansion for not showing this season’s Canadian Football League and letting the fans do easy time-shifting.

Holiday over

MotoGP is back in Italy. The Moto3 grid was well shuffled by penalties and Fenati’s bike croaked as everyone was waiting for the start. Öncü was on pole and hoping for his first win.
    Lots of lead-swapping. Pick a winner from the lead five. Just a couple of crashes in the first 9 laps. Öncü had the lead out of the final corner but he was pipped at the line by series leader 96 Holgado.

Get a bloody grip!

Don’t you just wish the PM would get on with something that needs doing instead of doing all this posturing about the imaginary AI threat and creating a mountain of associated wibble?

Boris strikes back

As soon as his resignation honours list was published, that was it for Boris Johnson. Two fingers raised to the kangaroo court, he was off and out of their reach.
    No doubt he’s fated to make millions of pounds from what he knows and his memoirs will stick knives into all the right places.
    Good luck to him.

Just the job

The Abominable Dr. Phibes isn’t a PG, it’s a 15 and possibly distressing. A large glass of brandy with it instead of a nice cup of tea?

Quite perverse

The Comedy Channel doing films from the Lethal Weapon series seems to be quite regular now. How soon before it does the Evil Dead films to give everyone a real laugh?

Spinning it out

The impression I got from skimming newspaper reports is that Prince Hairy did 5-hour sessions in the witness box saying nothing useful and interspersing it with whinges.
    And that’s costing us taxpayers millions? Sheesh!

Immortal

Gulp! Galactica 1980 has fizzled out and we’re back with Ed The Bishop and the marvellous UFO.
    And the first episode of Crumpled of the Bailey to follow on another channel later on. A TV night to remember.
    Crumpled was classified as a 12, not a PG. So no cup of tea while you’re watching it?

Great Suggestion

Next job for Baroness Hallett, the Chinese plague inquirer, to waste further vast amounts of our cash on picking the nits out of King Harold’s response to the Norman invasion in 1066 and deciding whether he could have prevented it?
    Should keep the legal trade busy for a decade or two.

Another Lot

Same story with the gang who are trying to pretend that it’s getting relentlessly hotter and hotter. In fact, the temperatures we’re getting now are fairly average for the end of spring. And sticking a thermometer in a hot spot surrounded by acres of tarmac and concrete to contrive a ‘record’ ain’t impressive.

Lazy Lot!

That story about the US Air Force drone killing its controller in a video game scenario turns out to be a fantasy cobbled together by the mob who want us to be in fear and trembling of artificial intelligence.
    They really need to put a bit of effort into it.

We’re Doomed!

The omens are clear. Only those who don’t pay income tax will escape the full tax swindle that Labour is plotting. Not that they will escape entirely.
    The current costa living crisis will look trivial compared to whatever a Labour government comes up with. Especially when they triple council tax.

Very Effective

How do you get the Sun to come out?
    “Light the fire”, says a neighbour who feels the cold and likes to have one in the evening; or during the day if it’s chilly.

Self-inflicted

Oh, dear! Prince Hairy’s claims in his book don’t match what he’s trying to make people think about the Daily Mirror in search of another pay day. Are we supposed to think it was terribly unsporting of the Mirror’s KC to take him to task over his discrepancies and say he should get the dosh anyway?

Probably true

It has been suggested that one obstructive pest insisting on being called ‘they’ in newspaper reports of bad behaviour is just an attempt to pretend there was a bunch of them, not just one pest.

Nits Picked

Forget aliens in UFOs. That description has been cancelled in favour of Unidentified Aerial Phenomena, which includes things in the sky that aren’t flying around and may be due to weird weather conditions.

Freeze, please!

There’s nothing like some warm weather for finding out who’s got the most tasteless tattoos imaginable.

Survival scenario

If AIs turn out to be no smarter than the humans who are programming them, then we have nothing to worry about, extinction-wise!

Cheers!

D-Day plus 79 years today. Another booze-up for the usual suspects in prospect at commemorative do’s!

Mind the gap

No complaints from the Boy Lineker about the lack of women who claim they’re men in the Cup Final teams?
    One he missed there.

Modern Crossword Clue

Carthaginian elephant fancier
noted for forming the A-Team (8)

Wot Next?

All sorts of recipes on offer at the moment seem to be for things that are charred. No doubt the next fad will be for something even more dreadful.

Tourism blocker

Brilliant advert for Noo Yawk in Max Payne (2008). If it wasn’t pissing down with rain, it was snowing.

Fair’s fair

Hutch the TT Legend, 8:00 ITV4. Does Starsky get his turn tomorrow night?

One worth watching?

Meateor Apocalypse (2023) A nightmare for a vegan colony when saboteurs from within their own movement blow up an adjacent meat-packing factory and shower it everywhere!

Next!

Good grief! There was a lady who used to be a boss at Channel 4 telling us in the Sunday Post that TV presenters are infinitely replaceable.
    The Scoffer, Paxo and all the vanished rest are just human dross now. Only someone out of the TV racket can say that!

Musk get a grip

Maybe it would be a good idea if artificial intelligence systems wiped out humanity. Then we wouldn’t have to put up with hysterical fantasies about everything stopping because of some trivial bug or an accidental nuclear war. All the garbage we’re getting from attention-seekers is very wearing. Almost takes away the will to live!

Nearly right

Billy the Kid vs Dracula (1966) on Legend last night was described as Western horror. There has to be a ‘comedy’ missing from that description.
    The Count was an equal-opportunities vampire, scoffing Injuns as well as white folks. He was called Mr. Underhill. Was he a Hobbit vampire!!??

Cup Final Worth Watching!

How many others were thinking God Save the Queen when the young lady did her Yankee version of our national anthem before the Cup Final?
    It’s going to take a while to get King Charles into pole position in circumstances like that.
    Well done, Man. City. That was a really bogus penalty Man. Utd. got. Sack everyone involved in giving it. But the right side won in the end.
    Well done the security mob who keep the idiots with orange dust off the pitch during the match.

Manufactured work not make-work

How can it possibly take 3 years to do the cosmetic inquiry into how the government handled the Chinese plague?
    One way to spin it out is to gather up reams of off-the-cuff messages and pretend they’re actually thought-out opinions and reliable facts.

Not of this world

“No more dead trans kids”, some idiot was yelling at the Oxford Union. What had she been smoking!

No real problem

If the Scoffer fears being spat at, he should get himself a plastic mac and a helmet. Or just stay at home.

Trumpeting Trivia

A newspaper columnist was getting indignant about the amount of attention someone called Florence Pug is getting. Never heard of her myself and I couldn’t be bothered with the rant. But no wonder they call it the oxygen of publicity. Or should that be crystal meth, in this case?

Just a joke

Creaky Joe falls over again in living colour on TV. That has to send a message to the US electorate. Does Putin the Poisoner fall over? Or Pres. Eleven of China?
    A second term for Joe is total madness.

Cash down the drain

What is the purpose of the Chinese plague ‘inquiry’? Make-work for people who have nothing useful to do and shoving cash into the pockets of the legal trade.
    The next crisis will be something different and the report on this one will remain unread and irrelevant in its box.

Weird Choice

Lethal Weapon on the Comedy Central channel last night? Comedy, but not as we know it, Jim!

Keeps on digging

“Scoffer breaks silence” shock-horror.
    No one gives a rat’s arse, no surprised.

Goes with the job

“The Scoffer was an delusional liar” claims a bloke who came off second-best against him. But isn’t that an essential quality for succeeding on daytime TV? No contact with the real world?

What about some real outrage?

How can you tell a snivel service is running the country? All the ‘scandals’ are crap. But what else do you expect from a gang of useless jobsworths.

What about some real news?

There’s nothing more tediously unappetizing than the media mob waving dirty linen at us.
    Are ITV and the BBC as bad as each other? No question, they are. Which is why discerning early evening TV viewers don’t go to Channels 1-5, they prefer to watch the films and repeats on other channels.

Don’t buy it

It’s enormously difficult to be bothered about some exhibitionist ex-druggie and boozer female who took the ITV shilling and who’s doing a technicolour whinge about the company now.

Better ginger than red!

Ginger whinger – is that any way to talk about a Royal prince? Apparently so if his name is Hairy.
    But there is one thing that can be said in his favour. He obviously doesn’t waste his time messing about on the internet or he’d be a bright red whinger from the embarrassment caused by what people are saying about him.

She’s good at it

Why would anyone think it amazing that 1960s icon Lesley Hornby is 73? It would be amazing only if someone who kept the Twiggy character going from success to success didn’t last that long.

Some of it is okay

As someone who can’t remember the last time he watched anything on ITV’s primary channel, I don’t care if it’s a den of iniquity. Which isn’t apparent to anyone who’s a student of Midsomer Murders and the films on ITVs 2-4.