Worst idea in the world

Has to be a PC with a BLACK case and a BLACK on-switch that’s impossible to find without a torch.

Not fear but indifference

The word that needs to be dumped in the bin for the New Year is transphobia. It is constantly hurled at people who don’t live in fear of those who won’t accept the sex conferred on them by their DNA – hurled quite wrongly.
     What we need is a snappy word for ‘totally uninterested in the transists and their constant attention-seeking’.

No flag this time

Something I didn’t do on Boxing Day was put on a red coat and go riding after some hounds doing a trail hunt.
    Not because I’m against it but because I never learned to ride a horse. I didn’t even go along to the local hunt to throw some rocks at the people who oppose such a harmless pastime because they’re so very sad and hard up for something useful to do.

Cue a virtue flag

I didn’t watch any of the Top 10 TV shows on Xmas Day. The $6 Million Man and some recorded stuff (to skip the ads) were enough for me.

Story of the year

It has to be the one about what looked like orange flames – without any smoke – at the top of Blackpool Tower. But it turned out to be just orange netting flapping about in the current gale.
    Yes, it did look quite convincing as a fire, though.

Interesting question

Where would famous author Jessica Fletcher be if American cops weren’t such idiots?

Typical BBC tripe

Is a TV show an Agatha Christie adaptation if it makes a retired white central character a black diplomat to set up a knocking job on the British Empire and just casually junks the plot of the book that’s supposed to have been adapted?
    This sounds more like intellectual property misconduct which abuses a writer’s good name and reputation for the sake of delivering some petty political garbage.

Good story

On the one hand, there are all these characters demanding that no one be allowed to develop AI systems. On the other, we have politicians cheering them on privately.
    Why? So that they can claim any disastrous gaffes they make when the election campaigning becomes formal are products of deepfake computer systems and nothing to do with them.

Beak Out, pal!

Is it really the job of the Archbishop of Canterbury to poke his nose into American politics on time paid for by us?
    He can do what he likes in his own time. And if he doesn’t like President Trump, maybe he can remember that The Donald is one of his God’s creatures and if he has a problem with that, he needs to take it up with his God rather than moan about it at the people paying his wages.

No win situation

The Inspector of Prisons reckons putting criminals in them is a bad idea as it makes them worse. The government thinks putting shoplifters in gaol is a bad idea as is causes overcrowding, given the sheer numbers of them.
    So they have to be left out ‘in the community’ wearing a tag and still able to be a criminal nuisance.
    It has been suggested that execution or exile is the only way to deal with the situation. Which makes sense. Pensioning off all the existing prison staff quite generously would be a whole lot cheaper than existing ways of dealing with bad hats.

LOUD!

The current storm got really loud on Wednesday night where we are. But a surprising lack of debris from trees in the streets the next day. Maybe the earlier storms have blasted off all the loose bits.

And another

One does get the impression that no human eye scans newspaper copy for obvious blunders. Like the one that turned steakhouse into stea-
khouse in a story about murderous Irish gangsters.

Today’s Tip

If the TV series is on a Sky channel, record the episodes so you can fast forward through the E..N..D..L..E..S..S adverts.
    That way, you don’t lose track of the plot and maybe also the will to live.

Highly specific

Boarding school teacher struck off for having sex with a pupil in a car, the headline yelled.
    Some regulator they have if its rules are specific enough to ban doing it in a car. Okay everywhere else?

Pat on the back?

We have been reminded that the Archbishop of Cantab, the soon to be Sir Welby, described climate change as worse than the Nazis’ Holocaust.
    Which means what?
    If we here in Great Britain are not causing it by filling the atmosphere with carbon dioxide; that’s China & the usual suspects; then we can all bask in a warm glow of virtue?

None at all, man!

If I’d needed a replacement light bulb for the one that croaked on Xmas Day, I’d have been out of luck yesterday. Just the newsagent open locally.
    Everywhere else tightly shuttered, which is taking early closing on a Wednesday to extremes.

Tell us another lie

Can you trust the opinionated? Like the ones who were claiming that footfall in shops on Christmas Eve was down over 20% on last year and blaming it on the cost of living. Not a word about the Sunday trading laws, which are designed to stop people from going shopping, even if the Sunday is Christmas Eve.

Overstated

One of my neighbours mentioned that he wasn’t impressed by an LED bulb that was claimed to be the equivalent of a 100W incandescent bulb.
    In fact, he went so far as to remove it and try an old 60W incandescent bulb instead. Same level light in his living room. Okay for a bedroom, nokay for his living room.

One plus one equals 6.3

It’s all very well for a professor to blame the violent murder of Brianna Ghey on the desensitizing effect of the Dark Web but if the websites there are ‘difficult to find’, as he said, how come a 15-year-old girl got somewhere nasty?
    Bad blood. Plain and simple.

Inferior technology

A present from the Xmas Fairy: as I was reaching for the study light switch at the end of Xmas Day . . . darkness. The bulb had croaked. Made in China, naturally, LED, “lasts up to 10 years”, it said on the box of the replacement.
    Right!
    They might as well put “lasts up to 50 years” as that also includes the year or so’s use I got out of the thing.

Familiar theme

There are daft sciffy films and there’s Supercollider (2013), a load of total disaster nonsense spun around the CERN hadron collider, which confirmed the existence of the Higg’s boson ‘God particle’.
    With one bound, everything was okay again as the script writer had run out of ideas.
    Mind you, the notion that a magnetic pole reversal is a sudden, extinction-causing event is equally daft. Polar Opposites (2008) offered bombing the FK out of Iran as a solution!

But will I remember in 2024?

I seem to have neglected to do anything about Christmas Eve Boxes this year. No point in finding out what they are just now, though. I’ll have forgotten by the time next Xmas comes around.

Disgrace

There is a definite case for slapping stonking fines on church organizations which turn a blind eye to abuse by their priests and even cover it up, as charted in a Sunday Post feature which was a plug for its investigative journalists.
    So how come it never happens?

Scare tactic

“It could cost you £128 to unblock a toilet”, said the ad in a recent paper, which I was scanning for an uncompleted puzzle page. Okay, if you’re daft enough to do something like that, maybe a sharp shock is what you need to tell you it’s a bad idea.

Hello, you aliens!

In the absence of newspapers, I went to my home library to read up on the designs created on the Nazca Plains in Peru, which were charted for years and years by Maria Reiche after the war.
    Why did I do this? To get a clue to the mentality of neighbours who have enormous light shows in their back garden, which much look very impressive from space, just like the Nazca lines, but not as much from ground level.

Progress?

I’ve been wondering if my parents ever had to worry about something as gross as teachers pretending that the sex of someone isn’t determined by their DNA and feeding garbage to their customers.
    There couldn’t possibly have been anything that gross around when I was a kid.

Size Matters

The broadcaster icon Jenni Murray, I read; but not in today’s paper because there ain’t one; used to weigh nearly 2½ times as much as me. Crumbs!
    It’s a wonder she found any time to do anything other than eat to get to that hugeness. She added that a ‘fat is fantastic’ culture is why hospitals are full of obesity-related patients.
    No doubt social media are to blame. And the government, of course. And her fat female doctor. But not the greedy gutters, of course.

The Show must go on

How could GB Views have a Headliners show last night, on Christmas Eve, when no newspapers with headlines are published for them to talk about today, on Christmas Day?
    Cue a load of greatest hits from 2023.

Schmeducation

Sounds like Swindon New Collage is the last place you can trust to educate kids; or one of many such; if a teacher can be marched out and sacked for not going along with the currently fashionable tripe about gender identity & biological sex.
    The trans-enforcers have a hell of a lot to answer for.

Just Despicable

I wonder how many sick Daily Mail readers will spend Xmas wallowing in the Podcasts on Sick Killers that the Mail keeps yelling about?

Seasonal Tripe

According to the BMA, the medical trade union, doctors are striking to save the NHS. Believe that and you’ll believe anything.
    It’s all about sticking their fists deeeper into the taxpayer’s pocket. End of.

Excessively gullible?

We’re invited to believe that the Labour party leader of the moment is a highly intelligent bloke. But if so, why did he think Jeremy Corbyn would make a brilliant prime minister and why does he think that idiot Ed Miliband’s ideas for blowing £28 Billion on greenwash are also brilliant?

Not me, mate!

Do people really get up at 6 a.m. on Christmas Day to watch a TV show? How sad.

Not the done thing

How strange that a lawyer acting for Baroness Mone felt obliged to apologize for passing on information she gave him. Lawyers take the money and have no involvement in the client’s tale other than shaping it to best advantage. That’s their traditional alibi.
    That’s supposed to be why Beer Starmer isn’t apologizing for taking cash to get dangerous criminals out of gaol and back into the community.

Xmas feast

One of my correspondents drew my attention to an interesting idea for the Christmas meal: Yorkshire puddings, some of them stuffed with turkey, some with chips, as the main course then puds filled with trifle or jelly for afters.

Uncancellable!

Oh, dear. The Labour party’s plan to raise £28 Billion by cancelling the non-dom status and taxing them till the pips squealk has been spent 5 times over and counting. The latest way was to use it to fund more evening and weekend GP appointments to clear waiting lists.
    Which ignores the face that non-doms with no incentive to stay here will take themselves and their lovely money elsewhere, leaving Labour with Net Zero to tax.

Very Yellow!

Yesterday’s yellow winds were decidedly noisy. It actually looked like a nice day first thing, with a bit of sun. But the Weather Gods soon put the kybosh on that. Still windy today and more puddles than street in places with all the rain.

Today’s Philosophy Lesson

The simple plug on a chain for a sink is a metaphor for the fragility of human existence.
    Fill the sink and do nothing, and the water will stay there.
    Start sloshing about in the sink and snag the chain, and the plug will leap out of its socket and all the water vanishes.
    Do nothing and all you get is nothing done. Do something and it all goes pear-shaped!

Now, we know

The Labour party’s explanation for not having any policies has turned out to be a reluctance to create hostages to fortune by giving cast-iron pledges which will definitely flop.

Sense not the strong suit

Is there any real point in newspapers printing a photo of the cult escaper Alex Batty when he was 11? He’s a teenager and 17 now, and not that kid any more.
    A picture that gives entirely false information is worth maybe one word; garbage; rather than 1,000 of them.

Actually, there isn’t

Recycling some newspapers, I saw a headline about a climate emergency in a copy of the Sunday Post. Didn’t pause to read the story as it was bound to be rubbish.
    There isn’t a climate emergency in Scotland. That was just the stupid Sturgeon woman doing some attention-seeking, for which she was (and remains) notorious.
    And from the accounts of the SNP’s failures to get anything useful done, as charted by the Post, the government in Scotland is the last bunch you’d turn to to tackle an emergency.

Scrooge was right!

Not buying Xmas presents ensures that you are not bulking up the guess of £1,200,000,000 for the amount blown on unwanted presents during the festive season.
    Not something guaranteed to make the nation’s retailers give a cheer!

Makes a change

The slow news day headline used to be “Small earthquake in Chile, no one dead.”
    Now, it’s “Small volcano erupts in Iceland, no one dead.”
    Wot next?

Good luck to her

It would be great if the new minister for common sense, Esther McVey, can trample on the civil service Blob and slash the amount of taxpayers’ money they waste on wokery.
    2p off the standard rate of income tax is available and not to be sneezed at. And creating a difference between civil servants who are doing a decent job and the Blobists is a great idea!

Just a Thought . . .

But isn’t a transgender schoolgirl a schoolboy substitute?

Also strange

The Welsh Labour leader, who has decided to quit after five inglorious years, is ‘a Titan of politics’, according to Beery Starmer, the Labour party leader. He’s also been calling Wales a blueprint for what the country would look like under a Labour government.
    Cue a whole bunch of U-turns when there’s something else in the news as a distraction?

Very Strange

If China is responsible for a big chunk of the carbon dioxide going into the atmosphere and causing more than its fair share of global warming, how come the north of the country was experiencing temperatures around -40 degrees Centigrade?
    Sounds like they need to build a lot more coal-fired power stations to warm themselves up!

Not fooled

Full marks to the Labour party selection bods @ Brighton Pavilion for not going for a cross-dressing exhibitionist as their candidate for the next general election.

Cash machine

They must be lots of lovely dosh sloshing around at these social media companies if a diversity manager was able to stroll off with four million bucks from scams at FaceBook before anyone noticed.

Well, I never again!

Things they didn’t tell us – from watching the Six Million Dollar Man, I now know that shadows on the Moon are dark green, not inky, total black!

Slackers on the payroll?

If the government’s minions had done due diligence, it would have known that Baroness Mone’s husband was in charge of a potential PPE supplier. Therefore, all the row about her is just a non-story.

Well, I never

Scanned the list of Top 10 shows on BBC 1 this year, didn’t watch any of them. Good taste, or what!

Headline of the Day

“Groan pressure on Israel” – even America is going floppy over the numbers of Palestinians being wiped out in Gaza.

Actor logic

A Scottish actor was claiming in the Sunday Post that AI systems will replace human scriptwriters on cost grounds.
    But if, as he claims, the AI will create middle-of-the-road stuff that isn’t as good, why would anyone go for it?
    And why wait for AIs to be developed when there are already humans who could do inferior scripts more cheaply than a competent scriptwriter?

Totally different

That was an interesting point the American bloke, Louis, made on Headliners on GB Views the other night. The Jewish soldiers who casually killed three people who were taken prisoner by Hamas and moved into Gaza aren’t the same as the Jews who were Holocausted by the Nazis.
    Shooting those prisoners proves they’re a whole lot meaner and nastier.

Winning not on the agenda

Guess what? The latest line on the plan to export unwanted invaders to Rwanda is that it will have no effect on stopping more of them turning up.
    Which means that all the political posturing around the plan is just politicians being pillocks. As usual.

Useless bunch

It has to be time to disband the Arts Council if the looneys running it think it’s a good idea to waste money on teaching people who to unlearn whiteness.
    Just what the bloody hell is wrong with being white, British and in your right mind?
    Where’s the Hamas gang when you need them?

Dodgy reference point

Doctors are claiming that their standard of living has dropped like a stone since 2008. Why pick that year? That’s when Prime Minister Gordon Brown let the banks go bust by failing to regulate them and leaving them in the hands of chumps who couldn’t spot an American “mortgages for people who couldn’t afford them” scam.    
    Which means that everyone else is in the hole in the ground and there’s no justification for letting greedy doctors claw their way out at everyone else’s expense.

Even brighter

If you subtract the coldest temperature that the climate criminals have been able to confect from the hottest, you’re not left with much. Which indicates there’s nothing to be bothered about! It all balances out!

Bright Idea

90,000 political stooges and hangers on went to the COP junket in Dubai to achieve Net Zero in the way of anything significant.
    How many will be doing it next year? Maybe they should hold COP 29 in tents in the Gobi desert to reduce the numbers of especially useless bodies.

Mel isa bloke

I note that the Tory party deputy chairman for women is in the news because she spotted that a Green parliamentary candidate is a bloke in a wig.
    I also read that she’s the MP for Red Ditch. Is that what you get at the foot of the Red Wall?
    The amount of spurious fury from the Labour party shows that wigging blokes is routine for them as well as the Greens when they want to ‘prove’ numerical equality for women. Or people they pretend are women.

Unwelcome Perspective

Congrats to Lord Sharpe for pointing out that the £240 million allocated to the Rwanda plan needs to be set against the £4 BILLION blown on catering for illegals every year.
    And that doesn’t include the monstrous amount crooked lawyers are taking from the taxpayer.

Do us a favour

We keep hearing horror stories about Hamas terrorists planning outrages in Europe. I suppose it’s too much to hope that they’ll do something useful and blow the lumbering, cash-wasting ‘inquiry’ into the Chinese plague to tiny bits.

One they missed

Cleethorpes Working Men’s Club is getting a lot of stick for dropping references to men as they (allegedly) put women off. What about the working? Isn’t that off-putting to pensioners who no longer work?

One to export?

Scotland’s first minister, Mr. Humbug, sounds like he belongs on a flight to Rwanda as an undesirable if he thinks it’s a good idea to grease up to the Turkish president by agreeing that the Hamas bunch are jolly fine fellows.

Will he?

An interesting suggestion from one of my usual websites: if the Prime Minister is stabbed in the back over Rwanda next year, he should just quit on the spot – walk out of the Commons leaving the Tories minus a leader and also an MP.
    Which will let him spend more time with his hundreds of millions of pounds made when he was banker.

Not much of a solution

Some helpful person writing to the letters column of the Daily Disaster suggested that the way to end NHS strikes would be to give the junior doctors what they want.
    But is there enough money in the entire world to satisfy the grabbers?
    And what do we do to buy off the next gang of public sector strikers?

Nope, won’t wash

The Israeli army is claiming its customers were stripped to make sure they weren’t wearing an explosive belt, which is a fast way of doing it as an alternative to searching each member of a whole gang of prisoners individually.
    What isn’t reasonable is is not letting bombless blokes get dressed again. And what is disgraceful is the Israeli army giving people permission to take propaganda photographs of mobs of blokes in their pants lined up with their arms shackled being their back.

There’s always a story

Apparently, the Royal Mail is claiming it’s leaving letters and cards in bins and delivering more profitable parcels on health and safety grounds.
    The letters/cards/hospital appointments are being left to rot until next year to make sure that postal staff aren’t injured by a landslide of parcels.

How sad

There’s a company which is making dull and dismal Xmas crackers; no bright colours allowed; which don’t have one of those gadgets for making a ‘crack’ noise.
    The idea is that pathetic snowflakes will buy them, and do a ‘pop’ noise if they feel like it.

Appalling Wastes

The pathetic apology for an inquiry into the Chinese plague devours £750,000 per day in fees for lawyers of various sorts and putting illegal entrants in hotels costs the equivalent of a Rwanda plan; that’s £240 million; every month.
    No bloody wonder the country has a monstrous debt mountain on top of the one Gordon Brown built for us.

How about panic?

“What happens when our leaders fail to lead and our government fails to govern?” A pertinent question taken from the film The Fall of Hyperion, which was made in 2008.
    Kind of makes you wish someone had come up with something helpful in the intervening years.
    One thing’s for sure – calling in beer-swigging Starmer isn’t going to help any.

Don’t tell those Rangers!

Watching the mayhem & destruction when Walker, the Texas Ranger, busts a gang of bad guys in a warehouse, you get the impression that it would be a whole lot cheaper for the insurance company to let the bad guys help themselves.
    The devastation caused by Walker & Co. when they shoot up and generally wreck the joint is always infinitely worse.

Another story-teller

This is one of the pictures which prompted the observation that the Palestinians put on show by the Israelis are too fat to be terrorists or freedom fighters.
    Just what sort of mentality does a regime have if it thinks it’s a good idea to strip the clothes off its prisoners and take humiliating photos of them?

 

Putting on the agony rather than the style

An actress exuded Hollywood style, the caption for the photo said. Which doesn’t say much for that version of style if her pinstripe suit looked like oversized pyjamas.
    Borrowed from her much bigger sister when her back was turned?

Fake shadow of death

What is so brilliant about unpopulism that makes the rise of its reverse; populism; in Europe so terrifying?
    We should be told.

And another

Like search, ‘serving’ is another junk word when used about convicts. They don’t perform any useful service in gaol. They just consume taxpayers’ money whilst giving the dignity of employment to screws, who could be redeployed doing useful work elsewhere if not for the convicts.

One I missed?

Is there a Latin verb hamare? Hamo, hamas, hamat, etc.? It’s a while since I was at school.

Way too much, man!

That was a real mind-boggler from the Alzheimer’s Society; that the condition will cost the British economy £1 billion per week by 2025.
    Sounds like a prime candidate for Just Say No!

Dream on

Mashed peas on toast is one of the current cost of living crisis ‘in dishes’? Not where I live, it ain’t. Probably because I never got the habit of mashing avocados on toast; before they became unaffordable to the pea-fanciers.

Off target

The exhibitionists who were tossed out of the Chinese plague ‘inquiry’ when Boris did his apology were way off the mark.
    He didn’t create and spread the plague that killed their relatives. But why let facts get in the way of a whinge and a chance to behave badly?

Thriving industry

The phone rings. I lift the receiver and give my number.
    Call-centre noises for about ten seconds than the caller cuts me off.
    A 1471 check-up gave me the number: 001 334 219 381.
    A quick trip to the WWW told me that this number is associated with American scammers.
    They must have a great deal if they can afford to make calls to the other side of the Atlantic!

No contest

When you see a headline in the paper about Wallace, who do you think of? The Wallace of ‘& Gromit’ fame? Or Ben Wallace, who used to be the Defence Secretary? Or some other Wallace in the news temporarily?

Cliché rules, nokay

Does anyone ‘battle’ cancer? There’s not really anything someone with the condition can do in the way of battling themself. All they can do is hope it’s something the doctors specializing in the condition can wipe out or contain.

No mystery

“Why I’m getting my kit off on TV . . . aged 53” said the headline. No need to wonder. It has to be for the money.

Aaaah, no!

What’s the most ignored word in the English language? Has to be ‘search’. I’m ordered to do it umpteen times when I watch TV but I never do.

Not impressed

What was all that racket on Friday night going into Saturday?
    Turns out it was yellow weather wished on us by one of the Met Office’s storms with another of these non-names. I do wish they’d forget this stupid idea.

A picture that does tell a story

There was an interesting view from a panelist on GB Views the other night about the condition of the blokes in one of Israel’s photos of a gang of prisoners in Gaza lined up to be shown off.
    They were all too fat to be Hamas fighters.
    The picture did a good job of confirming that as well as bombing and killing Palestinians more or less at random, the IOF is rounding up bunches of the locals for a bit (or a lot) of bashing about because they can, not because the blokes have guns & bombs.

Trying too hard?

How inventive crossword compilers have to be.
    Who else would think of calling a pillow a bed cushion?

More climate crime

There was a bloke on the BBC lunchtime news the other day, encouraging people with solar panels to claim that what they’re doing is having an effect on the global climate.
    Which is just the blackest of black lies. Everything done here is impurely cosmetic and has zero effect on the condition of the planet as a whole.
    Maybe we need a law imposing a spot fine of a grand on people like the BBC bloke for deliberately spreading lies.

Manoeuvres?

The prime minister is getting a lot of blame for throwing a spanner in the works of the plan to export illegal immigrants to Rwanda. Especially for not excluding the European Court of Messing Us About and letting the legal trade blag even more dosh off us.
    Is this all part of the agenda of the mob that want rid of him so that Nigel Farage can take over a honcho of the Conservative party?

Still all quiet

Still nothing from this famous volcano on Iceland. One does get the impression that someone pressed the panic button far too soon and the whole world will just yawn and say, “Oh, has it gone off now?” if it ever does.

No fun circus

The cosmetic inquiry into the Chinese plague doesn’t want to know that it came from China and it was created there by adapting a bat virus to attack humans.
    All the boss lady wants to know is garbage about endless parties at Downing Street.
    Will it be 400 million quid well spent when the final report is delivered at about the end of the decade? Joke.

Might work

An interesting idea from the American bloke on the GB Views Headliners programme: when the Israelis have finished in Gaza, get them to sort out the migrants here.
    By bombing them to bits? That would certainly discourage more of them from sneaking in!

A picture worth 0.00001 words?

There are daft things to do and really daft things to do. Among the latter has to be sticking a picture of an Islamist terrorist in a newspaper article if it shows someone wearing a black cap, black shades and a light blue surgical mask.
    Cudda bin the paper’s editor, for all we know.

Very Un-PC!

From the River to the Sea,
There’s nothing much for you and me.
Just endless banners full of Wibble,
All written in a form of Scribble.

Radical De-drossification

What we need to do with all the people who are sabotaging the Rwanda plan is hoover them up, drop them in the Bay of Biscay during a good storm and leave them to sink or swim.

Credibility Net Zero

These sciffy films we get on TV can be quite silly but the message in 20.0 Megaquake, made in 2022, is right up there at the top of the daftitude tree.
    Global warming worsens earthquakes? Yeah, right.

Unknown foe

The police on duty at the Hillsborough football stadium stand accused of failing to protect the Liverpool fans who died.
    Protect from whom?
    That’s something which is never mentioned.

Totally Nuts

Boris Johnson must have done a grand job if he’s driven the looney left Daily Mirror into a state of hysteria and got them yelling that the dead from the Chinese plague can’t hear his apology. Do they do that on a regular basis for routine political apologies? Nope. Only for Boris.

Boots in the ‘too big for’ sense

There must be something about being on TV that creates a form of insanity in a certain type of personality. Otherwise, why would Patrick Chrispy of GB Views think he can hurl a ‘call an immediate general election’ ultimatum at the PM and expect anyone to take any notice of him?

Snowflake Melter

A neighbour has lent me a copy of a book which he found in a collection of ancient paperbacks. The Fickle Finger of Fate by John A. Keel was published back in 1966 and it seems designed to make the current generation of offence-seekers explode.
    It’s about a bumbling superhero called Satyr-Man and just loaded with casual political incorrectness by today’s standards. Something to make real people yell: “More!”

Another deficiency

According to what’s coming out of the education sector, the responsible adult will become extinct in the near future. The current generation of schoolkids are little savages with no discipline and no sense of proportion due to being kept at home when the Chinese plague was rampant.
    And if their parents failed to give them the values of decent human beings, that’s the world well and truly screwed!

Safe, but not as we know it, Jim

“Alastair Darling (Labour) had the safest pair of hands in Westminster”, I read in a glowing obituary.
    This is the bloke who was Chancellor from 2007-2010, when the banks went bust because Gordon Broon was trying to use them to buy votes in Scotland instead of regulating them,  and a Labour stooge left a note in the Treasury for the incoming Tories saying there was no money because Gordon Broon had spent it all.

Something I missed out on

Berlin Wall tablets. That’s bits of the old wall in Berlin, which was demolished in 1989, and given the homeopathic treatment and diluted until statistically, a dose of the brew contains no atoms of the wall at all.
    It was flogged as something which will help you to break down barriers between you and others. In your dreams.

Also pointless

The Labour party condemning all of the government’s policies as useless but failing to offer anything in the way of a workable alternative.
    Or are we expecting to think they’re saving all the good stuff up for their election manifesto in the hope that this will prevent the Tories from outflanking them?
    Like that could happen, given the sieve-like nature of politics and the tendency for mouths to be shot off when someone is feeling triumphant or has had too much taxpayer-funded booze down their neck.

Nasty Whinger

Is that racialist brat Nihal wotsisname still working for BBC Radio 5? If so, why? And why isn’t he in gaol for outraging public decency by beefing about being surrounded by white people in a country where that’s normal for 90% of the population?

How pointless can you get?

We have proof positive that the so-called inquiry into the Chinese plague has an agenda and all it wants is stuff which confirms that agenda.
    Why else would Michael Gove be silenced by the court jester, that bloke Keith, when he offered the scientifically based conclusion that the plague was genetically engineered in China to make a bat virus deadly to humans?

Distract, Distract!

The Climate Criminals have been forced to admit that COP 28 had the biggest carbon footprint of all the COPs. But this is the equivalent of discussing the relative sizes of ants whilst the elephants in China, India, Russia and the Americas look on.
    How come we are never told how much the hot air released at these jamborees for politicians and hangers on contributes to global warming?
    Numbers about that would be as irrelevant and distracting as the ones about the relative sizes of the ants.

Really Seasonal

A Death in Paradise Christmas special strikes me as rather twisted concept. Is the victim battered to death with a Xmas tree? Or maybe he/she gets a poisoned mince pie.
    How very cheerful. Not.

No Chance!

Today’s Recipe, I read, Cheesy Sprout Gratin
    Time to turn the page wondering what to have on a pizza. Nothing green, that’s for sure.

Grave omission

Why do we never hear anything about Nine Hag, the football manager Ten Hag’s dad?

Out of real world touch

Why would a BBC weatherperson think warmer plus wet and windy is worse than sunny but freezing bloody cold?
    Some attitude adjustment is clearly required.
    And maybe the occasional trip out of a warm studio.

We should be told

Last month, we were being told that a volcano in Iceland is about to erupt and bring air travel to a standstill and fill the atmosphere with some much Sun-blocking crap that we end up in another Ice Age.
    Then it all went quiet.
    Why?

Being realistic

Something beyond the power of our politicians, evidently, but when you think about it, dealing with the small boats ‘crisis’ is to the main migration rate problem as significant as going Net Zero here is to the global climate – something which has Net Zero useful contribution to make.

Long lie-in time

With no more CFL or MotoGP on the menu until next year, there’s no need to get up on a weekend morning for a catch-up or live viewing session.
    Which rather encourages late nights if there’s anything interesting happening.

Give us a hand, mate!

The Pope was taking to task, the useless bunch parasiting at the COP do. No danger of his God offering a helping hand with all the climate emergency stuff, though.
    “God helps those who help themselves.”
    Translation: You’re on your own, mate.

No big deal

Is a channel premiere of a film a big deal? Not if it can have been shown umpteen times already on other TV channels.

Plain posturing

Why is a BBC reporter nowhere near the Gaza border wearing a tin hat all of a sudden? After extra hazardous duty pay?

Logical?

If a bistro is a small eatery, is a monotro an incredibly tiny one?

Bash the bigot

Is it okay for a wild-eyed bearded bloke I’ve never heard of to be anti-Israeli and also do shows on the Baffled Broadchasing Company?
    Yes, but with buckets of disapproval from the usual suspects.
    Does he have no human right to free expression of his poisonous views?
    Apparently not if they don’t meet with the approval of the usual suspects.

Hereditary Hons

One of my correspondents has noticed something very strange about whoever is in charge of his local council’s council tax department.
    They always insist on adding BA Hons. to their sign-off in letters.
    Mine and earlier generation were always told that you don’t include a first degree in your letters unless you have something much more important to put in front of it, like a doctorate or even a master’s degree at a pinch.
    The need to pump yourself up clearly trumps etiquette where local government is concerned.

Easy one

“The Crown: Fact or Fiction”, read the strap line. But if every bugger knows it’s fiction, why ask the question?
    Unless, of course, there’s money to be made out of asking it. Which has to be the answer.

Special Report BS

“The Skorpion machinegun fires 900 bullets a minute”, a spot of hysterical journalism dressed up as a special report assured us.
    No, it doesn’t.
    The sub-machine gun developed by the Soviet Union for tank crews to use rips through a 32-round magazine in a couple of seconds. Then you have to remove the magazine, slot in a full one, cock the weapon and start shooting again.
    By the time your minute is up, the gun has whizzed through a whole lot less than 900 bullets.

The clue is in the name

Why would the American TV show with characters with the same names as Britain’s Royals be in trouble for making stuff up? That’s what fiction writers do. Make stuff up, not recycle actual verifiable history.

More Media Tripe

Dark matter, the nature of time and supermassive black holes are all among the unfathomable mysteries of the universe? Wrong.
    They might be among the currently unfathomed mysteries on this planet, but assuming that the current occupants know everything there is to know right now is just plain daft.

Target audience?

Is the Open University aimed at people from the Indian sub-continent? That’s certainly the impression the ads they put into NFL highlights on YouChube give.
    White ain’t right?

More of the same

The Mail also has a job as a PR agent for Omit Scabby’s book of fiction with characters with the same names as the Royals.
    Not brilliantly done, apparently. According to the NY Times, Mr. Scabby writes like a not very well programmed ChatBot and just recycles ancient whinges.
    So that’s him put in his place!

Top of the hit list

Scriptwriters have really got it in for ozone. It got the blame for being the frozen, explosive chunks hurled out by a stonado, and the ozone layer copped the blame for the ice twisters started by a failed weather experiment.
    Wot next? Can’t wait!

Pile up the bodies

The Daily Mail, which had the headline “torture-obsessed killers”, seems to have an obsession of its own with killers.
    How else would one describe the succession of podcasts with every gruesome detail (according to the puff for them, not watched by me!) of the killings by Lucy Letby and the murder of the boy turned girl Brianna Ghey?

Quel Convenience!

How lucky it is that the American countryside is studded with big corrugated drainage pipes where people can take refuge from icy bombs hurled out by a stonado or ice twister.

What’s the excuse?

Is GB Views acting as a PR agent for Omit Scabie, the Sussex’s creature? Sure looks like it.

Just Cosmetic

The Jewish lobby here might have scored a lot of points with the orderliness of their march in London, but it didn’t say anything new and no one where the war was going on was listening.
    But a morale-booster for the locals as a counterblast to all the left-wing anti-Semites on a Sunday is okay if it doesn’t cause too much disruption.

Garbage War?

Are the gang fictionalizing the life of Princess Di for US TV going to end up in competition with the Sussex Creature, Omit Scabie, over who can sleaze the present Royals the most?
    Sounds like that would be a good time to look out the box set of Get  Smart or Babylon 5.

Nose, amputate

Does booting the Tories out of office for failing on migration and letting in open-door Labour make any sense? Going from not trying to Worst of All Time certainly doesn’t.

Nelly the Elephant

Maybe that stroppy woman in ITV’s jungle should be made to publish a list of people she’s influenced so that decent people can avoid them.
    And she has to be number one on the cancellation list.

Would they dare?

Will the Dutch bale out of the EFU? It seems rather a stretch when the Man of the Moment, that Wilders bloke, has thirty-some seats in a parliament of 150.

Slacking in the ranks

Where are all Trade Descriptions bods when you need them? How dare they let Black Friday, a single day, drag on for a whole month without stirring their stumps.

Just a thought

Maybe they need to dump all the Chinese plague experts in a dark cellar and let them argue it out. The one who emerges alive gets to write the history of how dealing with the plague was botched and how he was right but ignored.
    And if we could have infra-red cameras spying on the inmates, that would be a great new reality show.

First refuge of the scoundrel

What does a politician in Argentina do when he gets into trouble? Start yelling the Falkland Islands are his personal property. Predictable, and BORING!

Something to yell at politicians

“Obsessing about illegals arriving on small boats is like worrying about an unlocked first-floor window when your front door is wide open.”

Gasp!

If ITV is counterblasting complaints from Nigel Farage’s lawyers about Bumgate with a claim that there are no rules and restrictions on the cameras pointed at its jungle contestants, does that mean that, if they get desperate enough, they’ll show the mugs watching the series pictures of the contestants having a pee?
    Or worse?
    Mind boggling furiously already.

Not buying it

Why does no one take scandal-prone charities like Oxfam seriously? One of their people waving whingeistics in the Sunday Post ‘proving’ that the rich buzzing round in private jets are killing the plane doesn’t help.
    Not a word about all the coal-fired power stations in Asia and the Americas, of course.

And to conclude

At least MotoGP had the decency to leave crowning the champion to the 20th and last event of the season. 27 laps and a crash at the back of the field right away. Bagnaia was leading from challenger Martin, who zoomed off the track after getting too close to the leader and ended up 8th.
    Martin blasted Mark Marquez off the track with 22 laps to go, making Bagnaia the boss even if he didn’t finish. Jack Miller fell off in the lead on lap 20 putting Bagnaia back into the lead. Rins also fell off on the same lap; the approach of night cooling the track was blamed.
    Brad Binder was being a bugger. A big crash for Espargaro was also blamed on the track getting cold. Zarco second, was ahead of Digi; just; until lap 26. A Ducati 1,2,3 at the end.

Made by idiots?

Captain Manewearing saluting with his left hand in the third cartoon Dad’s Army episode? WTF!
    How did they manage to get away with something so daft? How could they not know it’s something a real officer, or even a fake one like Mainwaring, would never ever do on parade? Especially in front of Corporal-Colonel Square.

Where’s the sun?

Shining on the Moto2 race in Valencia. Canet was on pole for the 22 laps. There was a horrible crash at turn 4, and another later in the opening lap. A combination of desperation and it’s not easy to pass on this track.
    Aldeguer pulled a small gap at the front when Dixon was 4th and Sam Lowes 7th. Canet and Lopez were 2nd & 3rd at the end. Lopez squeaked 3rd in a photo finish. Dixon dropped to 6th ahead of Lowes but he was still able to finish 3rd in the championship.

Equally deadly

When you think about it, the Aztecs and climate criminals are out of the same box.
    The Aztecs thought they had to murder thousands of people to give their blood to their god to keep the world turning.
    The climate fraudsters are modern vampires, sucking the life blood out of the world and enriching themselves in order to save it from imaginary demons and also forces, natural and unnatural, over which they have Net Zero control.
    All the coal-fired power stations in China and around the world, for instance.

Finish in Spain

20 laps of Moto3 in Valencia was all about a race win and settling scores now that Masia has been crown champion. A bunch at the back went off at turn 2 on lap 1. And another bunch was bashed off on the next lap. Just one on lap 3.
    Then it all calmed down. Rat and bag at the finish with Sasaki leading into the last lap, then Alonso, then Sasaki getting his first win. Ortola was 3rd.

Today’s Quiz

Question: How do you know that winter is sneaking up on you?
Anser: Finding the cat water dish in the back garden frozen solid is a pretty good clue.

Buried treasure

Why is there no cash sloshing around in Russia? Because its army is having to put minefields ten miles deep in front of its troops in the occupied parts of Ukraine to make them feel safe or safe-ish.

Oh, for more daylight

One thing I’ve noticed recently that I haven’t before is that it’s becoming harder & harder to get anything much done in the late afternoon.
    Half-four is now so bloody dark that it feels like the middle of the night!

Use them, lose respect

How many of the 25 most annoying words/expressions tossed about by millennials have I encountered? 9, which means I’m moving in the right circles.
    Especially if the 9 offending words have been around for yonks – long before snowflakes were invented.

Silly but fun

Stonados hurling big chunks of frozen explosive ozone at Boston is definitely as inspired as the Sharknado idea.
    Blow the bugger up! Always a good idea for menacing tornado variants.

Information Deficit

Is that HUGE woman who was beefing @ N. Farage about immigration on ITV, as shown hundreds of times on GB Views, as thick as two bricks? Or is it three?
    Where do they get these characters?

Groan

Lord Dave thinks it’s our public duty to hand vast amounts of cash to the rest of the world as reparations for slavery and we also have to feed the buggers as well.
    Shame he can’t get his Chinese mates to take over the role of World Leaders. They did their best, with Dave’s help, but look how that turned out – they’re just as broke now as everyone but Dave.
    Hey, Dave, why don’t you put a hand in your own pocket?

Tripe, tripe & more of the same

What sort of jungle has baths in it? And why the surprise in the meeja that N. Farage takes all his clothes off when he has a bath? How desperate can you get for a talking point?
    Even more, I suspect.

Big sensation

An exploding crashed car near the Rainbow Bridge to Canada certainly put the cat among the pigeons. The security forces were leaping about, hoping for a major terrorist incident, and the local airport was closed to international flights.
    But it turned out to be just one of those American cars that explode when they crash, killing the occupants. Not terrorism, nothing to see.

Hold the front page

Nigel Farage has a bum, which is bare when he’s in a shower, having a wash. And to think, ITV paid him a million and a half quid to find that out.

More to it?

It has been pointed out to me that yob is a backward boy and slag is backward gals.
    This cannot be just a linguistic quirk.

Even Falser

We were told by what are supposed to be news outlets that the state pension will go up to over £220/week next April, which is a lie, those in the know assure me.
    Not for those on the Osborne swindle old state pension, who will be getting £40/week less after making two-thirds more National Insurance contributions.
    No danger of anything being done about this, though.

False pretenses

Why do they call prison sentences ‘for life’ when the customer can be out in as little as 6 years? This is typical of the legal trade; using a word with a definite meaning and ignoring that meaning when it gets in the way of what’s really on offer.

Just bin it

What actually is the point of telling TV viewers what the prison sentences of a gang add up to? It’s pointless and it makes the totalizer look like a pillock and a jobsworth.

Yeah, right

‘The fashion industry produced 10% of global carbon emissions’, I read. On what planet? Or are we supposed to accept that it owns most of the coal-fired power stations in China, India, etc.?

Non sequitur

I’m still waiting for someone to come up with a convincing explanation of why our current tiny prime minister and his stooges, such as big Dave the ex-Leader, being duck eggs makes Sir Beer Smarmer and his crew somehow fit for office.
    The choice remains between two useless gangs if the Tories can’t buck their ideas up.

Is it real?

The sight of coppers stuffing Just Stoppers into vans after hauling one of their stupid road block outing off a road had everyone wondering if it had actually happened, or it was just a bunch of Just Stoppers dressed as coppers taking the mickey out of the real police.

How to annoy the French

Make a film about their Adolf Hitler precursor, Napoleon Boneparte, that contains buckets of daft inventions but doesn’t go for the Big One – Nappy winning the battle near Waterloo.
    Well, why not if it’s only fiction? Like The Crown, a series made by the Yanks to annoy those of us over here with a Princess Di complex, it doesn’t have to be true to life.

Excellence out West

The Grey Cup final of the CFL year had the fans of Canadian Crunch looking very happy after watching the replay. Everyone has a chance all the time if the scores are close and a half, or the match, is running out in those endless 3 minutes when no lead is safe. Which is never a guarantee that one will be lost.

Fine the parents till the pips squeak

We’ve heard a great deal of wailing about all the school time lost to the Chinese plague. So a School Strike for Palestine and kids skiving off to join in something which will have zero effect on what’s going on in Palestine?
    Welcome to the century of stupidly pointless gestures.

Dave the Disaster

Practically on his first day as Foreign Secretary, Lord Call Me Dave has come up with a Big Idea.
    Shower BILLIONs of pounds of our money on foreigners.

Worser, it don’t get!

When it comes to daft films, Fire Twister (2014) is Olympic level. The characters are mostly nutters, especially the eco-terrorists being presented as heroes. And the plot was created by more nutters.
    The ecoterrorist destroying the city-eating fiery tornado with a bang not the US Air Force? Pur-lease.

The Woke Equation

Someone else was bragging that there were marches against anti-Semitism in France. Which makes the ones in favour of anti-Semitism here just an attempt to achieve balance.

Bozo

Someone else was claiming we have an unelected PM, even though he was elected to be an MP and elected to be the leader of his party by the members.
    Maybe voting rights should be conditional on intelligence and general knowledge tests.

No decision yet

Martin bogged the start of the 22 laps of MotoGP. Bagnaia was the early leader. Martin made 5th but the 3 ahead of him were lapping faster.
    Digi started to threaten Bagnaia with half a dozen laps to go. Martin dropped to 10th. Digi took the lead with 4 to go. Bagnaia had an excursion off the track to avoid a collision but went no further back than second.
    Di Giannantonio got his first ever win. The crowning of this year’s champ will be decided at the final race of the season, but with Bagnaia 21 points ahead of Martin, he’d have to crash to avoid winning!

Asking the impossible

A bloke was complaining in the Daily Disaster that the BBC doesn’t verity Hamas claims about something that happened in Gaza. Has no one told him that the Israelis have cut off communications; phones, the internet, etc.; to make that impossible?

Much tidier

Sam Lowes had a bad start in the Moto2 race and 18 laps to do something about it. Joe Roberts was the early leader followed by Canet. The four at the front were caught by the chasers; no one was making a dramatic break.
    Aldeguer eventually established a lead with Gonzalez and Canet battling behind him, and that’s how it ended. Jake Dixon was 5th and Lowes was 12th with a fastest lap credit.

Front page? Not.

Does anyone care why Princess Di cut up a leopard print swimsuit in a rage 30 years ago?
    No? Thought not.

Isn’t it dark?

Floodlights for Moto3 in Qatar. Red bikes out front and a crasher on lap 1/16. Sasaki took the lead on lap 2 but bogged up on lap 3. Lots going on at the front and a crash that we saw on lap 7.
    Holgado was leading as the race wound down. Masia went ahead on lap 13. Sasaki, second in the championship, stumbled from 2nd to 10th. Masia stayed ahead for the win, and he’s now the series champion.

Ill-qualified judge?

How curious that a pundit can think that a Home Sec. being braver than the average person and expressing decent and honestly-held opinions is issuing an invitation to her boss to sack her.
    But maybe that’s just the pundit applying the rules of his or her own trade to another job. And if members of the Home Sec.’s own party object, maybe it’s just the bland jobsworths with no opinions of their own objecting to being shown up.

The actual lesson of history

The big problem with the mantra that ‘the government needs to be responsible’ is that some politicians see that as a licence to be responsible for driving the country off a big cliff with their lunatic policies.
    Gordon bloody Brown is the prime example of the genre.

Worra lorra pigsin

There isn’t going to be a lot of room for Xmas pud left if the nation is expected to scoff its way through 423 MILLION pigsin blankets on Xmas day.
    I think I’ll donate my share to the local greedy bugger. Come to think of it, I can’t remember ever indulging in a pigsin.

Well, maybe

One of these days, the Met Office might give a name that’s actually recognizable as a name to one of its storms. But on one is holding their breath.

Pocket Monsters

Dave the Leader, our smug new Foreign Secretary, is trying to give away more of our money to undeserving foreigners. Groan.
    And he’s in China’s pocket. Groan.
    Just how many new friends does he hope to buy with our cash? We should be told.

No, thanks

Recieve a free Xmas tree with an 80-quid Hornby train, the advert said. A very tiny tree.
    And a free dictionary?
    Typing the headline into this post, and then correcting it back to the original mistake, gave my DTP program’s spellchecker severe indigestion!

The bloke for the job?

Chancellor Hunt will lead an offensive against the civil service’s woke idiots? Well, that sounds like something that’s bound to be a huge flop, going from his record as Health Secretary and then Chancellor.

How seasonal

Steve Austin vs a Mr. Scrooge factory boss as a Xmas episode? Why try to think up a new plot line when you can nick an old one? Same for Walker, the Texas Ranger. He and his gang were bashing & booting bad guys as normal. But his lady friend doing her dying swan act was different; to be continued.

Why the delay?

How come the Israeli army hasn’t found the massive complex of tunnels and bunkers the Hama gang is supposed to have dug under Gaza’s major hospital?
    Option One: it doesn’t exist, it’s just propaganda.
    Option Two: the Israelis aren’t looking, they’re just hanging about at the hospital for some reason known only to them.

Blatant swindlers

That’s what councils in Scotland demanding cash to cope with climate change sound like. Wasting money on wokery and PC garbage instead of doing essential maintenance work is behind most of the catastrophes caused by weather.
    The councils are to blame for their neglect, not the climate.

Also in the news

The beach at Newquay where that dead whale is being looked at by experts has been closed after the police were reminded that a beached dead whale in Oregon exploded 50 years ago.
    No doubt there are lots of hopefuls lurking around in Cornwall, hoping to get a viral video for the internet of the same happening here.

That’s telling ’em!

How reassuring it was that a school in Wales countered a load of tripe on the internet and sent letters to the parents of its kids assuring them that anyone daft enough to pretend to be a cat rather than a human wouldn’t be issued with a litter tray.
    The woke wonks have a hell of a lot to answer for.

Unnatural selection

Are we going to get a rant from our local global warming fraudsters and demands for a boycott of Iceland from the enviromentalist when their volcano shoves billions of tons of crap into the atmosphere?
    Not if they’re foreigners rather than British.

Big chance

Are the indoor plants @ the Mansion suffering from heat exhaustion because we have the heating on for the benefit of human occupants? My plantologist reckons they should be embracing the opportunity to evolve to a new environment and the rosy glow of success that it will bring.

Nosy lot

Do I want a banking app that tells me how much carbon dioxide everything I buy puts in to the atmosphere?
    If the number is meaningless compared to what’s already there, and what’s coming out of foreign coal-fired power stations, I’d think about switching to another bank.

It’s the way they tell ’em

Israeli troops barging into a Gaza hospital had no problems interacting with the staff, the TV news told us. Well, there wouldn’t be if the invaders were armed to the teeth as well as carrying a few token tins of baby food.

New lingo

I switched the TV on for the news a bit late and the first thing I heard when the sound started by ‘bjarnes’, which made me wonder if I’d been hijacked by Swedish pirates.
    Turned out to be a regional version of t’be honest.

Bloody foreigners

They’re doing their level best to ruin the British economy in all sorts of ways with their wars. Now, the Icelanders are getting in on the act with their Fagradalsfjall volcano, which is getting ready to erupt and stop air travel like the one that blew off in 2010.

Very inventive

That’s a new one on me; calling the people who moan about big companies doing a different from the usual bleahh Xmas TV advert, e.g. Marks & Sparks, ‘Hedge Hitlers’.
    Sounds about right.

No great advert for him

If the PM sacks someone in whom he had ‘full confidence” the day before, what does that say about him?
    That he’s just another unreliable political weasel & just plain fickle.
p.s. Starmer has the full backing of his deputy, Angular Robot. A stab in the back from her on the way?

Worth two biscuit barrels!

A weirdo wheeze I’ve just come across is lunar gardening. No, not growing plants on the Moon. Pretending to use its gravitational, tide-generating effect on the Earth to heave your plants up faster and make them bigger!
    Well, if you’re a washed-up celeb who wants to remind people you’re still around, it’s as good as anything the Gloop-meister and others of the ilk have come up with.

Only for the moronic

A vastly overpriced perfume for babies contains notes of cotton wool, I read. Whoever came up with that needs locking up. In a padded cell. Because he or she is obviously a dangerous lunatic.
    “I love the smell of coffee and cotton wool in the morning.” Yeah, right.

Cynical? Moi?

“A top advocate has called for a public inquiry” tells you what? It tells me the legal trade is trying to shove a fist into the public purse again in pursuit of another circus which will do taxpayers no good at all.

Steps to be watched

News readers need to be extra careful when talking about King Charles to make sure that ‘new king’ doesn’t come out as ‘neuking’!

1 + 1 = one hundred and eleven

 One does get the feeling that all this chat about the far-right is just something cooked up by the news meeja out of a twisted sense of a need for balance, no matter how unjustified.
    Something to lessen the impact of thousands of mugs waving the Palestinian flag by pretending the mugs are up against something equal and opposite.
    Apart from the fact that they’re all anti-Israel.
    Their antics here suggest that what’s going on in the Middle East is irrelevant and they’re just doing it for the hell of it.

Just Don’t!

The film San Andreas Megaquake (2019) taught me something very important: never take a flight in a US Marines helicopter, especially one belonging to the 4th Cavalry.
    They have a habit of crashing for no apparent reason.
    This happened twice to various of our heroes. If you’re vital to the plot, the crash is non-fatal. But I wouldn’t care to rely on that myself!

What the choice actually is

Being homeless per se might not be an actual lifestyle choice but living in a charity-donated tent out on the streets and in the way of pedestrians (and lunatic pavement bikers) is.
    But honesty in descriptions is not exactly fashionable.

Drama lacking

It was hot, humid and horrible for the Malaysian MotoGP race, the commentators decided, and tyres would be a problem. Bastianini and Alex Marquez took the lead and gapped Bagnaia and Martin.
    Espargaro crashed at half way. Otherwise, nothing much happened and the lead three took all the podium places.

Something more apt needed

There’s something really mealy mouthed about claiming the glorious dead of world wars ‘gave their life’. Maybe a few of them did but most of them were killed and had their life ripped from them and had no choice in the matter.
    It would show them much more respect for their loss, rather than an illusory sacrifice, to come up with a much more fitting description. Or just to call them the war dead and leave it at that without the inapt/inept qualifier.

Space Waster

Is it good for Sir Starmer if he takes a robust line on Israel? Hardly, if no one who counts in the Middle East is taking any notice of him. It’s just the usual hypocritical political virtue flagging to no purpose.
    And let us not forget that Starmer was the DPP who was more interested in trying to get his creature, Tom Watson, to frame Tory politicians and entertainers for child sex offences than in doing anything about real bad guys, like Sir Savile.

More mayhem than usual

Gonzalez managed to crash on lap 1/17 of Moto2. The field became well strung out right away. Arbolino had a champion-ship hopes ending bump and excursion off the track. Aldeguer went off the front of the field.
    Two riders crashed out independently at turn 9 on lap 3. Another gone on lap 5. Then Canet. Aldeguer was nearly 4 seconds ahead of Acosta.
    Everything calmed down. Aldeguer had a very comfortable win. Acosta’s 2nd place was enough to make him this year’s champion and he finished well ahead of 3rd place Ramirez.
    Jake Dixon, currently 3rd in the championship, was 5th and Sam Lowes was 8th.

Tell ’em anything

Can we really believe the BBC claims that there were vast numbers of ‘far right’ marchers in some parts of London as well as the anti-Israel left-wingers plus Just Stoppers and trade unionists that they showed us?
    Just shows how popular Israel is currently if the far-right and ludicrous left both hate the regime!

Too early to do live

It was 31 deg.C in far off Malaysia, about 20 more than here!, for 15 laps of Moto3. Masia and Sasaki were the early leaders. A big crash on lap 5 took out Alonso, Holgado (ending his championship hopes) and 3 others.
    Masia went back to 4th with 5 laps to go. Into the lead with 3 to go as Öncü crashed out. Back to 3rd. Veijer went past his team mate Sasaki and stayed ahead for the win. Masia ended up 3rd.

Another mystery

I noticed that a bloke who’s up on sex charges is described as a ‘modern languages teacher’ in inverted commas, which are usually applied to distance the report from accusations of dodginess.
    What, I’m left wondering, is dodgy about teaching modern languages?

Where to put it!

“Trump clashes with fraud trial judge” needs a hyphen to clarify the message, and knowing how politics in Noo Yawk operates, I would suggest trial-judge rather than the alternative.

Another puzzle

What could be achieved if all the communists & clowns who are out on the streets wanting Israel cancelled actually tried to do something useful? But that quality of person would probably just make things worse, so maybe they shouldn’t bother.

Unmatched news and olds

Aren’t news media inconsistent? One day, they’re yelling that the PM has drawn pre-election battle lines with Labour. The next, they’re claiming he’s given up and there ain’t going to be a battle.
    Our only concern has to be that we have enough pinches of salt to sprinkle on all the alleged shifts and shuffles.

Off the mark

You have to wonder about anti-virus software which keeps on telling you your webcam is available for hijack when the gadget isn’t even plugged in to your PC!

What they should be saying

The following programme may contain language and attitudes which will make modern day wimps realize how pathetic they are. That’s what the preliminary screen should say.

Yet another familiar face

It takes a close look but that’s definitely a much younger version of Dennis Weaver, the future Marshall Sam MacLeod, in an episode of the Alfred Hitchcock all stars.

Let’s get it right for once

Is there anything wrong with the Home Secretary noticing that the police are biased toward left-wing agitators when they are blatant about it? And why isn’t London’s cosmetic mayor doing anything about the bias? Because he’s Labour?
    Whatever happened to freedom of speech for someone in a position to know? Collective responsibility for members of the government doesn’t include turning a blind eye to abuses.
    That’s the job of opposition parties.

Farage, or . . .

It seems to be quite popular to suggest that Nigel Farage should get a Tory party membership and take over as he’d be a great PM. But there are alternatives . . .

 

Shrink-fit?

The missing Dad’s Army TV episode recreations as cartoons have a peculiar thread. Everyone who did any writing in the first episode did it left-handed.
    That episode lasted 28 minutes, and 6 minutes of that was adverts. They must have missed out a hell of a lot of what was originally a half-hour episode on the BBC.

Just Tell Them

“Excuse me, what are your pronouns?”
    “Don’t use ’em, mate. I only use nouns, not inferior substitutes.”

No way

Is it racialist for a politician to tell a heckler from Bahrain to go back there? Of course, it ain’t. A magistrate declaring it is just brings the court system into disrepute.
    We Brits are under no obligation to appreciate foreigners.
    And what about free speech? Doesn’t apply if the bloke in the dock is a Tory, apparently.
    No wonder they call the area Westmonster.

Not entirely harmless, though

The mushroom poison cook can't be much cop if she tried and failed to kill her husband four times.

Scraping the biscuit barrel

The tale that climate change and deforestation will create plagues that will kill twelve times more people than anything current in 2050 has to be worth just a couple of crumbs from a shortbread biscuit.

Deliberately Daft

I do get the feeling that ‘experts’ are often pranksters who vie with one another over what they can get away with.
    This story that eating raw fish wrapped in rice lets you enjoy a comedy film to the max takes at least a chocolate biscuit.

Explosive hobby

As well as a Third World war, Mark Dolan of GB Views has been talking up a civil war in the Tory party.
    Does he have shares in arms-dealer companies?
    We should be told.

Another familiar face

Crumbs! Who’s that incredibly young bloke in the Alfred Hitchcock show facing a murder charge? He must have got away with it if James Tiberius Kirk went on to join Starfleet and zoom round the galaxy in a spaceship.

Not just him, you!

Anyone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together knows that smarmy Starmer isn’t going to resign and take his nose out of the trough because he’s not demanding a cease-fire in Gaza.
    A demand which the combatants will ignore because it doesn’t fit in with their plans and what’s their war got to do with Starmer anyway?
    If anyone should resign, it’s the gang of attention-seeking councillors and others, who are proving they’re not fit to have their nose in the trough either.

Tell ’em anything

We are invited to believe that the last of the Great Train Robbers, who has died at the age of 94, was a decent, straightforward bloke who looked out for his family.
    When he wasn’t robbing mail trains and doing time in gaols, of course.

The worst sort of greenwash

Recycling scrap steel instead of making it from iron ore isn’t greener if it relies on scrap steel which was originally made in places like China out of iron ore.
    The claim is cosmetic and it’s a politically based lie.
    Just as well British Steel is now owned by . . . China.

Looking in the wrong direction

We are told that successive generations are now unhealthier than their ancestors and the ‘experts’ are blaming poverty, junk foods, alcohol and drugs. Which cuts the ground out from under their feet.
    Relative affluence and idleness are factors which they choose to ignore. If we have an obesity mountain, clearly, ‘poor’ people are still able to choose ready made junk foods instead of having to make the effort to cook for themselves.
    And they have cash left over for booze and drugs.
    Mentoring is offered as a solution but we’ve had plenty of  it and the obese, drunk and drugged clearly ain’t listening.

In their pay

We keep hearing about ‘malign actors’ in connection with AI. Which makes them sound like pantomime villains.
    If journalists and others are talking about ‘our enemies’, they should call them that and not be so bloody coy.

The real message

What will inquiries such as the ones here and in Scotland into the response to the Chinese plague tell us?
    1. The witnesses will slant the truth and lie their heads off.
    2. Counsel for the inquiry will posture shamelessly.
    3. The figurehead will feel free to ignore inconvenient opinions if she chooses.
    4. News media accounts of the proceedings will be slanted and full of BS.
    5. Politicians will deny deleting official messages and holding meetings with no minutes taken to avoid being held to account.

Criminal Mastermind?

Putin the Poisoner is now getting the blame for prompting the Hamas attack, which is taking all media attention away from his assault on Ukraine.
    Hamas are Russia’s mates, not terrorists, is the message.
    Or terrorists just like Putin’s mob, who can’t be called terrorists in case it upsets the looney left.

This is Olympic level

The burning paper hats on a fire in the M&S Christmas TV advert are ‘the colours of the Palestinian flag’. But not any other flag featuring red, green and white?
    How pathetic can a whinge get? Or are the moaners hoping for some sort of award?

Arrest him!

Mark Dolan of GB Views was trying to talk up a Third World War last night. Isn’t that a hate crime, wanting to start a war against the Third World?

Taking dead liberties

The more we hear ‘testimony’ from people with an axe to grind, the more the Chinese plague ‘inquiry’ looks like a total waste of money.
    Like the claim from a former civil servant that Brexit preparations were a distraction from handling the plague. That’s the preparations that were over before that plague arrived in 2020.
    Feel free to rewrite history any way that suits you, why don’t you? A condemnation which is bulked up by onlookers noticing that the chief inquisitor seems to have made her mind up about some of the evidence more or less sight unseen. If it doesn’t suit her view, it doesn’t exist.

Wibblers Woeful

Russell Brand has really upset the Sunday Mirror by actually daring to make thousands of pounds after being accused, but not convicted in a criminal court, of various historic crimes.
    Not much credibility flying around when the ludicrous left throw a wobbly.

Wrong!

When is Bonfire Night? November the Fifth. The Mansion cat doesn’t appreciate lots of bangs and whooshes on the 4th.

Toricane or Hurrinado?

A film called 500 mph Storm may not be suitable for younger viewers. Groan. When are TV stations going to grow up again?
    It kinda blows the credibility to see our hero & family driving along with a HUGE tornado on their tail and someone going the other way(!) on the same road.
    That storm leaves everywhere looking like Gaza City.

Substitute, substitute

Okay, if Xmas has been cancelled by Marks & Sparks, as the whingers on GB Views would have us believe, that opens the door for something older and even more relevant – Yule!

Sodom, for Gomorrah we die!

Someone writing in the Daily Disaster commented that severe floods are now called ‘biblical’ and wondered what caused the bad weather 2,000 years ago that was so exceptional well before global warming was invented.
    The obvious answer is God – she was noted for her tantrums back then.

More lost credibility

Pretending the Mau Mau gang in Kenya wasn’t the Hamas of its day to try to screw cash out of the British taxpayer is worse than blah. It’s positively criminal.

Credibility saboteur

When a BBC bod tells us that Hamas has been described as a terrorist gang by someone or other, it now sounds like ritual, mealy mouthed blah. Which should be stopped forthwith as it makes what follow sound like more blah by association rather than a serious news report.

Hindsight

When IRA terrorists were hiding in West Belfast, our government didn’t send the RAF to bomb the place to bits. Nor the mainland towns where the IRA took refuge with its fans.
    Is this where we went wrong?

Useless adornment

It’s all very well for a ‘top mandarin’ to blacken the government of the day during the crisis phase of the Chinese plague, but if he just sat back and drew his pay and did nothing to help, he’s not worth that much himself.
    And what he has to say for himself is worth about the same.
    The conclusion from this lawyer-fest inquiry is already clear and it doesn’t need to drag on for another decade.
    The next time the Chinese send us a plague, don’t let the civil service, wobbly politicans, doomy medical ‘experts’ and especially not Desperate Dom anywhere near it. Then we might have a chance of getting through it relatively unscathed.

Fillers

Does anyone who counts actually believe TV fiction about dead Princess Di? All it does is help TV stations to fill up space between the adverts and give viewers the opportunity to put the kettle on for a cup of tea and a snack.

Back for more

Steve Austin vs the Susquatch in another 2-parter? All very sci-fi with the isotopes and stuff. And very economical, getting 4 episodes out of the hairy giant suit instead of 2!

After you, matie

Prince Charles shouldn’t even think about apologizing for the suppression of terrorists in Kenya until the government there apologizes to the descendants of the Kenyans who were butchered by the terrorists 70 years ago and gives compensation to those descendants if appropriate.
    Compensation which ain’t funded by the UK!!
    The Kenyan government should also have to explain why it is going on about things that happened before their nation gained its independence – 60 years ago – instead of concentrating on doing things of use to the current generation of citizens.

Just not true

“A police officer charged with murdering an unarmed black man” it said in the newspaper article. Which has to be deliberately prejudicial.
    Contemporary accounts said the bloke was crashing about in a car and a threat to life & limb, and that’s why he was shot by a police firearms officer.
    Not armed with a gun, yes, but definitely armed with a lethal piece of machinery.

Tell it like it is

There’s something incredibly mealy mouthed about calling your nation’s army a defence force if it can send tanks crashing into a neighbouring country/enclave.
    Is that what the Russian occupiers in Ukraine are, a defence force?
    Looks like we’re in Wonderland where words mean whatever the user wants them to mean.

Met Office Morons

Anyone remember when storms had sensible names like Charlie? The ones we’re getting now look like they come out of an artificial intelligence program that’s supposed to do diversity and the rest. Babet? What the hell’s that?
    Storms that batter bits of Britain should get names that belong here.
    Or maybe we should just go back to accepting them as weather and leaving names for things like hurricanes and cyclones. Things big and destructive enough to merit a place in history rather than stuff that’s just wimps pretending that the world they experience is so much tougher than anything experienced in the past.

Some entertainment; at a price

Desperate Dom, the evil genius behind Brexit who went off the rails completely, got a good battering from an inquisitor at the legal jamboree that’s the ‘inquiry’ into the Chinese plague, which is liable to drag on into the next decade.
    He put forward an interesting defence to accusations of misogyny, though. When examples of his foul language were paraded, he countered with the opinion that what he says about blokes is infinitely cruder.

Just puffed up

The ‘Israel at War’ reports from nearby journalists are pretty much a waste of time. There’s a pall of smoke from burning buildings and planes & drones buzzing about and tanks firing at who knows what. But it’s hardly a ‘bloodied Colosseum’ if there’s no blood and no sign of an enemy.

Too far off

Does anyone care that Saudi Arabia is hosting [has bought from FIFA] the 2034 football world cup?
    Not if the likes of Russia and Katar have had them. The only consideration has to be the one that applied to Katar; that the matches have to be played at a time when the conditions on the pitch aren’t lethal.
    Which does allow the boycott get-out of not going to avoid buggering up the UK winter football schedule, as happened when Katar bought the event.

What answer do you want?

The NatWest bank’s ‘investigation’ into the Farage debanking scandal has done the legal trade’s reputation no favours either.

Woke wibble

How bucked up is Hamas going to be about people waving a flag saying Queers For Palestine in London? Apart from not even a little bit.

Ludicrosity

“Facing 115 years in gaol”, I read. Absurd to the point of stupidity. As if the on-trial crypto-banker Mr. Fried-Egg has any hope of living to 146 years old.

Everyone knows this

It doesn’t matter if the Labour party or its leadership does or doesn’t support a cease-fire in the Middle East.
    No one there is listening.

Ham plus ass

Does anyone really care what Alan Partridge, a.k.a. Steve Cougan, thinks about the monrchy and whether he thinks monarchists are idiots or geniuses?
    No?
    Right answer. Still his wibblings give newspaper columnists something to counterblast about.

Masochism Corner?

What sort of sad bastard wants to wallow in a string of videos about the infant–killer L. Letby, which the Daily Disaster seems to think are essential viewing? There are people around who need to get a life urgently. Not that they will, of course.

Also never on the cards

Any chance of the judge Lord Summers getting the sack for making a total bog of a rape case, as reported in the Sunday Post last week? Yeah, right.

Never on the cards

Apparently, yesterday was National Cat Day. Did anyone notice? Not even the Mansion cat here!

Some perspective

“She is a gold medal-winning Olympian and a rising star on television”, I read. But when I got the the lady’s name; nothing. Not a flicker of recognition.
    Such is the illusion of celebrity!

It Izzard not to mock!

If an MP tells the Commons she’s a woman in her 50s and there are cries of, “No, no!”, do they come from people who think she’s really a bloke in drag?

Worth the wait

Due to a screw-up by TNT when doing the live broadcast, Moto3 fans ended up with a recording of only part of the race in Indonesia and had to wait for the replay in the evening to see 19 laps on a hot and sticky track.
    Öncü was on pole but went backwards. Plenty of early action at the front. Sasaki was crashed out on lap 2. The leader kept being shuffled back. Holgado managed to get into the points. Öncü had another spell in the lead at half-way. Masia took the lead with 4 to go, then Alonso and he stayed there. Furusato & Veijer joined him on the podium, Masia was 4th and Holgado reached 6th behind Öncü.

Main Event

There was some tough overtaking on lap 1/26 in the Thai MotoGP race. Martin was leading and Alex Marquez was up with the leaders. Until he fell off on whilst trying too hard on lap 10.
    Brad Binder had a real go at Martin with 7 laps left and got past; only briefly. Bagnaia was able to close right up on them. Binder went ahead on lap 22. Martin retook the lead on lap 25 and stayed there. Mark Marquez stayed on his bike and finished 7th.

Conditional Charity

Text money to the RNLI? Only if they guarantee to stop hoovering up migrants in the Channel and taxi-ing them here.

Still out East

They had a nice day for 22 laps of Moto2 in Thailand. Canet’s jump start was the main talking point in the absence of any excitement on the track. A couple of riders toward the back were gone in the first 4 laps.
    Jake Dixon had a horrible crash on lap 5 and Vietti, into whom he ran, fell off later in the lap. Aldeguera then Acosta were out in front. Chantra (Thai) was 3rd at the finish.

Crossword Inspiration

Clue: Rod for stirring a fire.
Answer: How about Rod Stewart? He’s not too old to wield a poker.

Not concerned

The lithium in electric car batteries burns at 2000c, I read.
    Two thousand cents is only twenty dollars.
    That’s nothing to worry about.

Pushing the envelope

Seen in passing, a pub outdoor sign announcing that lunch would be served from 12-7 p.m. Some of us have had their dinner by the end of that time frame.
    There is also a ‘kids menu’; presumably for cannibals who like their flesh young and tender.

It’s not all dangerous

Is it remarkable for a Jewish woman to go from here to Israel to feel safer?
    Not if she manages to park somewhere that’s well away from the Palestinian enclaves.

Short-changed

After watching a recording of the film Scanners (1981), which I haven’t seen for long enough to forget most of the plot, I’m feeling very disappointed.
    Only one exploding head! Booo!

The mathematics of outrage

A holocaust is defined in my dictionary as a huge slaughter or destruction of life. It’s usually applied to the mass murder of 6 million Jews in the 1940s. Which makes it inadequate for the slaughter of 30-40 million Russians during Stalin’s reign.
    Israel is now applying the word to the mass murder of 1,400 Jews beside Gaza in 2023. Which makes the number of deaths of Palestinians in Gaza at least a quadruple holocaust by the new definition.
    Does anyone in their government get that?

She don’t care?

Old headline in a paper being recycled: it was all about an asylum lawyer telling us 80% of her customers are fakes.
    Not too embarrassing to make her get into another line of work, though!

Also wonderful

The evil left is trying to do a similar job on the noted and excellent author George Orwell with a campaign of outright lies, which has outraged his family.
    Eric Blair, to use his non-writing name, saw through the left and lampooned them mercilessly, which they find unforgiveable, no matter how justified it is.

Footshot!

Sticking inverted commas around ‘prove’ in a headline about videos proving Hamas terrorists are depraved injects doubt into the alleged proof, and leaves the reader applying a sceptical frame of mind to the article that follows.

How wonderful

Mike Yarwood, noted TV impressionist, is the latest celeb of yesteryear to have his life trashed by a family exposé.
    Wot attention-seeking rotters.

Ask and get!

I did a ‘Wot next?’ about the $6M Man and the telepath. Gulp! Steve Austin versus Big Foot! That’s a pretty good one.
    The Sasquatch turned out to be a robot built by aliens. A real bunch of arrogant scum-suckers. But I can see a way they’ll be wiped out in part 2 of the tale.

Things to come

In any war, the winning side can get away with anything. But its leaders will get a terrible slagging off from historians trying to get themselves noticed when those leaders are safely dead.
    The corruption-prone prime minster of Israel looks set for a particularly bad time of it front in the day. [opposite of back in the day.] The Hamas guys, of course, won’t be bothered.

Even more tripe

Some whinger was complaining about our ‘unelected PM’ in the Daily Disaster the other day.
    Did he mean Mr. Sunak, who was elected to Parliament the last time we had a general election and elected to the position of Conservative leader; and automatically to the role of prime minister as they are the majority party; by its members?
    The quality of whinges is going down and down. Probably in the name of equality and diversity. Even the pig ignorant have to have their views paraded.

Spot the difference

War is a great leveller. The Israeli president reckons Hamas is cruel and inhuman, and needs to be wiped out without mercy. Which has to include being cruel and inhuman to Palestinians in general.

Busted credibility

There was a BBC reporter in ‘southern Israel’ yesterday sans flak jacket and sans tin hat. Net Zero credibility if she was supposed to be somewhere dangerous. The bloke in south Gaza had a flak jacket but no tin hat. Even so, he had credibility. Even if his flak jacket was a scruffy brown one rather than one of the neat blue ones with a ‘PRESS’ logo.

Confected outrage

Is it ‘chilling’ that Hamas terrorists have instruction manuals? It’s standard operating procedure for everything, especially military and paramilitary outfits.
    Which makes the ‘chilling’ just headline writer’s wibble.

All in the mind

At little girl who’s a telepath on the $6M Man then a little boy who’s a telekinetic on Walker, Texas Ranger! Wot next!
    The kid had his own personal AI system but at least Walker is for real. His hat falls off when he’s slugged from behind.

One to avoid

The NatWest bank seems to be getting a well deserved slagging off over its hypocritical attitude to the debanking of Nigel Farage by its client company. All of which makes me wonder just how nasty my own bank is behind closed doors.
    The people there may be totally great, but the stain of contamination by nasty bastards spreads very easily within an industry.

Makes a good headline

A young female conscript in Israel told the Daily Disaster she’s preparing to fight for her nation’s survival.
    Really? Against Hamas, all 40,000 of them?
    With Sleepy Joe and the resources of the USA on her side?
    Pur-lease!

No mean feat

Sir Beer Starmer seems to be doing a grand job of making the Labour party even more toxic than it was when Oh, Jeremy Corbyn was in charge.
    Claiming that Israel has every right to inflict mass starvation on the Palestinians in Gaza with a blockade of everything didn’t exactly help the Starmer cause.

No great sense of urgency

In the series 3, episode 14 of the $6M Man, back in 1975, Oscar was going on about how great hydrogen fusion as a power source would be.
    50 years later, it’s still as far away as ever and we’re lumbered with windmills that don’t provide any power if the wind isn’t blowing at exactly the right speed.

Name deficit

Calling a revenge attack Operation Swords of Iron gives it a rather spuriously dramatic ring. Steel swords would be more effective & businesslike than iron ones.
    A better alternative would have been to go for something totally unmilitary, such as Operation Fur Boots.

Casual misinformation

I watched the 9 p.m. news on GBViews last night before going to the recording of Carmageddon. Mark Dolan started waffling about a swing to Labour in the recent by-elections at the start of his programme.
    In one of the elections, my expert assures me, the Labour vote fell compared to the turnout in 2019, and just 5% of the Tory voters who didn’t bother last week returning to the fold would put both Labour place-holders back in their box.
    So where’s the swing?

Too tough

It was still ’orrible when the grid lined up for 23 laps of Moto2. There was a dramatic crash on lap 1 and 3 more were gone in the next 2 laps. Arbolino went out in front, Sam Lowes was 4th and Jake Dixon 5th.
    Dixon was promoted to 2nd when everyone ahead of him crashed. Then he went, too. 10 crashers by the time they waved the red flag on lap 9. No restart possible. Arbolino, Canet & Aldeguer took the podium places. Half points for all.

Works for me

What do you do when a crazy old coot is shooting at two of your heroes in a daft sciffy film? Drop a car, which was sucked into the air by a magnetic storm, right on top of the coot!
    Maybe they should have called the firm Carmageddon because there were coming down like thick hail in the final half hour.

So much for sunny Oz

Wet, windy and ’orrible for Sunday’s Moto3 race. There was a real fog of spray on lap 1/21. Fernandez pulled a gap at the front, 4 chasers.
    Öncü nearly fell off with 7 to go. He dropped back to 3rd behind Sasaki then 4th.
    Crumbs! Fernandez was gone from the lead at turn 11 on the next lap. Öncü took the lead on the last lap, putting Sasaki down to 2nd. Kelso, in 3rd, was on the podium for the first time ever.

Bit of a change

The weather forecast for Sunday was so dreadful that they decided to run the important MotoGP race @ Phillip Island in Australia a day early and let everyone else struggle the following day.
    No rain, not hot and 27 laps of a racy track. Martin pulled a gap from pole but the comms were wondering if he’d made the right tyre choice more or less right from the start. Marc Marquez was up with the leaders then dropped back. That Honda ain’t much cop.
    Digi closed in on the leader as the end approached with Brad Binder and Zarco behind him. Binder went 2nd with 5 laps to go.
    Martin had no tyre left on the last lap. Zarco went past him for his first win. Bagnaia was 2nd, Di Giannantonio was 3rd and Martin finished 5th behind Binder.

Who’s she?

Spotted – a very familiar face playing a bad gal in Final Voyage (1999), the hijacking of a cruise liner by a really hissy bunch of scumbags. Who came up against a hero with more of those guns that fire 5 millions bullets without needing a reload.
    Lots of cogitation but it wasn’t until the final credits rolled that I spotted the name Claudia Christian, a.k.a. Commander Ivanova of Babylon 5, being ‘Max’ the bad gal.
    Maybe I need to dig the box set out and take a stroll through it if I’m struggling to recognize the leading characters.

Just what we need. Not!

Gangs of crisis clowns telling us that crumbling and ancient Joe Biden’s doddering could turn a small war in the Middle East into World War Three.

Off target with the name

They missed a trick when they called the synthetic creatures in the daft sciffy film Stormageddon (2015) Adam. They should have called the evil ones Max. They were all dead ringers for Mr. Headroom. But nowhere near as much fun, having a compulsion to do mindless booting and bashing.

Worth a watch

Blimey, the Bond films that seemed contemporary are getting quite old. Tomorrow Never Dies, which was on ITV4 the other night, is over a quarter of a century old.
    Pierce Brosnan certainly looks a lot younger and fitter and suited to the part than the old bloke who’s been doing them lately.
    Isn’t it great when your gun will fire 5 million bullets and not need reloading? Except once in a blue moon when there’s a bit of a lull in the action.

They keep on doing it

Back in the day, when the Bremoaner chancers were demanding a people’s referendum after they got the wrong result on Brexit, people started asking who they thought voted in that referendum. Was it penguins, not people?
    The same applies to the People’s Postcode Lottery’s TV adverts. Who else has a postcode? Penguins?

Sainthood shredding

There seems to be something of a backlash growing against veteran TV performer Sir David Attenborough. His claim that the planet is dying and humans are killing it panders to the delusions of know-nothing kids but he seems to be drifting away from reality at an alarming rate.

No stunning victory after all

After every election comes the glorious garbage about swings. The two by-elections this week are typical examples. We were told of a huge swing to Labour, but a look at the numbers of votes cast blows that garbage out of the water.
    In Mid Bedfordshire, Labour’s vote fell compared to 2019. It went up by 800 in Tamworth but that’s nothing compared to the 20,000 Tory voters who didn’t bother. And in Mid Bedfordshire, it took 26,000 Tory voters not bothering to lend the seat to Labour.
    Hardly a totally massive endorsement of their shifty and hypocritical lead.

Alternative needed

Do convicts in prison ‘serve’? How does being banged up and isolated at huge expense to the taxpayer amount to ‘service’ of any value to the great British public?
    We definitely need another word for their condition with buckets of attached scumbag implications.

How strange

Joanna Lumley, actress person, didn’t have her age added to an article about her desire to deport all the elephants in UK safari parks and zoos. I wonder why. It’s a rule that seems to apply to everyone else.

Didn’t need to blink to miss it

Did anyone notice that Wednesday was International Pronoun Day? No? Soooo bloody forgettable.

Worth a try

What’s a good way to upset Labourites? I read that they take great umbrage to having their leader called Beery Glitter after getting showered with the stuff by an exhibitionist at his party conference.

Banksters’ Moll?

No wonder banks are hated for the amount they charge if Lloyds is offering counselling to staff who were upset by what the mob at the Tory party conference had to say about trannies.
    Not much hope for the future with that sort of person about to take over. Where are all the death-rock asteroids when you need one?

Homage or scavenging?

Crumbs! Steve Austin does the Dooks of Hazzard in a bushy false beard! Aided by his $6M worth of bionic bad guy intimidating gear, of course.

Yeah, right

The weather bods on the BBC keep trying frighten the pants off us but they are just mocked like mad now. We were supposed to disappear under a deluge of rain yesterday. But it was windy but warm and sunny in the morning, and people had washing out to take advantage of excellent drying conditions.
    Clouds and a smattering of rain didn’t arrive until about four p.m. And then the rain was nothing much.

Image is all

The BBC ramps up the tension? The lady stationed a good mile away from the Gaza border hasn’t been wearing a tin hat. Until yesterday.
    Did she look in any more danger than the day before?
    Nope.
    And if Creaky Joe was in Israel, there was no doubt that he would blame the Gaza hospital massacre on the Palestinians.

A spot of speculation

I’ve not seen the Jimmy Savile 4-part series, The Reckoning, but I read that it was made by ITV Studios. Which set me wondering about the title.
    Is it a yah-boo at the BBC because the guy who put the ‘vile’ into Savile never faced any sort of reckoning?

Afterthought

As the country is wall-to-wall bad guys at the moment and there is no room in the nation’s gaols, maybe the judge should have ordered Bernie to build a 1,000-cell gaol instead of dropping the fine on him.
    It would certainly have been of more use because we just know the civil service & quangocrats will only waste the fine on projects that don’t serve any useful purpose because they are just a source of income for them.

Wrong Formula

Oh, dear. Bernie ‘F1' Ecclestone is in real trouble. He has upset Platell Speeple of the Daily Disaster by coughing up a fine of £635 million for involuntary tax evasion instead of keeping the cash and doing his public duty by going to gaol.

Design Flaw?

Aren’t American cars amazingly combustible! Just a tap from a bad guy fleeing Walker the Texas Ranger and Kaboom! Up the tapped car goes in a mighty fireball.

Oh, well

The way to do the NHS a favour, we were told some years ago, is to die early. The ways to achieve this on offer were watching TV for more than 3 hours per day, staying in bed overnight for more than 9 hours and having more than half of a glass of wine per day.
    Some seniors have mentioned to me that they have been doing all three for ages and it’s doing them Net Zero damage.
    Looks like the NHS needs another plan.