Dredging

Is it a crime for Prince Andrew to have had a ride of J. Epstein’s plane? Of course, it isn’t. And pretending it is just makes the outrage confecter look stoopid.

Worked for me

What do you do if your TV is kaput, apart from Beeb 1 & 2, ITV 1 and Channel 4, because Virgin Media has dropped to bits? Watch your recording of the film Scanners and look out for the exploding head about a quarter of an hour in is an option.

Monumental sulk

The lady who wrote to my morning paper to observe that the French were happy to see British troops on their beaches in 1944 should have gone on to add that they still haven’t forgiven us for liberating them (with a little help from the US) because they were too useless to do it themselves.

Overworn excuse

No surprise that the Chinese plague is getting the blame for all the neglect of the country’s roads and a doubling of pot-hole damage. There’s always some excuse for people in the public sector not doing the job they’re paid to do.

Sack the lot of them

The Boris Road Bridge between Scotland & Northern Ireland was originally costed at £20 billion. But the morons in the government’s service have managed to inflate it to over £300 billion. Okay, the project is just a fantasy, but does the taxpayer really deserve to have to pay morons to rig the price upwards like this?

Right for the job

That Open Goaal system featuring a goal with a huge wall of netting behind it for misses – especially for posh kids with a huge garden – should be endorsed by Mr. Rashford or one of the other England football team’s penalty missers when it counted.

It’s always all about the dosh

The people lining up in the freezing cold from 5 a.m. to get into the Ghislane Maxwell trial are ‘observers’? Not a bunch of scandal-mongers with no jobs to go to? Right.
    Her defence lawyer is on pretty solid ground when she says Ms Maxwell is being done over by the people who did nothing about the J. Savile clone J. Epstein and the case against her client is all about their guilt plus memory manipulation and money. Especially money.