Duck!

If you hear a “whoosh!” tonight, it’s a 2-mile-wide asteroid sailing past the Earth. It’s as big as the one credited with wiping out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago (plus a lot of help from volcanoes on Earth) and it has a satellite 2,000 feet wide orbiting it.

A word of explanation?

We’ve had the coldest spring for 50 years. So what do the Global Warming Swindlers have to say about that? Surprise! Tim Yeo MP, chairman of the Commons energy and climate change committee and dedicated Warmist, is now accepting that nothing bad will happen if the Earth warms up a bit and there’s no proof that humans are doing it. Wonders will never cease.

Racing Certainty

One of the staff was complaining that he couldn’t place a bet that it would rain today and make any money out of it. So much for the British climate, bank holidays, and the cynicism of the bookmaking fraternity.

Big bloody deal!

A professor at M.I.T. has done a study and found that cats are better at lapping up liquid than dogs because they have a more efficient tongue action. I’m sure we’re all infinitely better off for knowing that.

Not just them

The two mock Jihadistas who murdered Drummer Rigby should be tried for treason, a lot of people are saying. Not just them. The net should be extended to everyone who encouraged them, and they should be in the dock, too, if British. If not British, they should be booted out of the country, ’uman bloody rights notwithstanding.

Not really trying

The Nottinghamshire Police are feeling pleased with themselves because they sold a drug dealer’s German army surplus scout car for five grand on eBay under the Proceeds of Crime Act. They also found a few more bits and pieces whilst trying to recover the 100 grand specified in a court order. But it would have saved the taxpayer a whole lot of messing about and incidental costs if they’d just flogged off the guy’s two-hundred-grand house and given him the change.

It’s the way he tells them

Dave the leader has decided that his messing about with marriage hasn’t gone far enough. If marriage shouldn’t be restricted to a man plus a woman, then the number of people involved should not be restricted either. Expect to hear at the next Tory party conference, Dave saying: “I don’t support polygamy in spite of being a Conservative. I support polygamy because I am a Conservative.”