Weird Decision

Our Home Sec. thinks it’s a good idea to let an Islamist hate preacher do a tour of the country and tell his audiences that cutting hands off is a good idea.
    No explanation for why it’s such a good idea on offer.

Pie literally in the sky

The Aria sun-blocking scheme to prevent global warming seems to be getting a lot of derision from actual climate experts. The bloke in charge, who got a £50 million sub from Beer Smarmer, isn’t one, of course.
    All we have to do is be patient until the millions of coal-fired power stations are closed down and the problem just goes away. We certainly don’t want to be paying for the hobby horses of the likes of the Aria bloke.

It works!

One of the first things our wonderful prime minister did was bin the Rwanda plan for exporting undesirables because it wasn’t his idea and he wasn’t bothered about wasting the billion on so pounds which had already been spent on setting it up.
    Next things you know, President Trump is using Rwanda as a dumping ground for the likes of terrorists, whom the courts won’t return to their country of origin because it might be dangerous for them, poor things.

Not me!

Only someone like Edstone Milipede could offer turning energy pricing into a postcode lottery as The Next Big Thing. And then go into a shower of indignation when he claims he never had anything to do with the idea and no one believes him.

Get Rid

They should shove the vandals who were tossing red power around at the London Marathon in gaol for a couple of years.
    They they should stick them at the top of Mr. Farage’s list of undesirable scumbags.
    We definitely don’t need characters like that swanning around.

How civil is this service?

Someone needs to work out how much of a world record is being set by all the obstructing of payments to victims of the Post Office Horizon.
    And then the foot-draggers should all be done for misconduct in a public office, based on the information gathered, and have their fat pension confiscated.

Don’t call me that!

Looking at the list of boy’s names which have dropped out of fashion by anything from 90% to 88% between 2013 and 2023, you have to wonder what sort of plonker calls their kid Leland or Bartolsz or Mateusz.
    Nicola is down 93% in the list of girl’s names. Obviously, the Sturgeon factor!

Pull the other one

“Reeves fights fiscal storm” is rather a joke as a headline. The abundant evidence tells us she can create a fiscal storm but as for fighting one – forget it!

Anon, Anon

It’s rather telling that some of the women who are demanding extra rights for trans people at the expense of actual women felt obliged to wear a Chinese plague mask in their demos.
    Just like the Hamas supporters, they don’t want to be identifed and challenged.

Incredible

Prison officers shouldn’t wear stab vests, some screwball reckons, because it ‘militarizes’ prisons and creates an environment which is traumatizing for the prisoners.
    Even the ones who are nasty bastards who are in there for life?
    You’d have to be really desperate to come up with a tale that pathetic.

Included Out

Was it a crime against humanity that I didn’t watch the Pope’s funeral on TV, not being interested in religion?
    Or are there still a few threads of free will flying around to make it okay?

No one is safe

Something to remember when the 80th anniversary of VE-Day arrives next month – our wonderful Chancellor is going to cancel the tax break firms which employ Armed Forces veterans get if she gets her accounts into an even bigger tangle.

Peacemaker? Joke!

The very last person you’d want making a peace deal for you is Donald Trump. Especially when he’s doing his double attack-dog routine with his vice president.
    “Give up a fifth of your country to the guy who attacked you or we walk away.”
    “Oh, yes, and we want your minerals. And we want your nuclear power station so we can use it to sell power to Russia.”

Just an attention-seeker

“Why shouldn’t I have an opinion?” says gary bloody lineker.
    “Why can’t you keep it to yourself if it’s deliberately intended to cause offence?” say the rest of us.

It’s all relative

One way to make America look great again is to trash the global economy so that America standing still looks better than the trashed rivals

Can you believe him?

Given his record for telling blatant lies, how sincere is the PM’s acceptance of the Supreme Court ruling on what a woman is? Does he really believe it or is he just saying it because it is now politically expedient?

Be very afraid

According to an official guess, there could be 2 million people driving on Britain’s roads with eyesight so defective that they could cause a lethal crash at any moment.

Similar Story

The government is refusing to reveal the crime rates for migrants to avoid stoking racial tension? In reality, to avoid letting us know the high proportion of criminal scum among the migrants Labour lets into the UK so casually.

Quality Slump

In the good old days, head teachers were fearsome authority figures, who were in charge. Now, a teaching union is having to urge them to hold parents responsible for kids who behave badly at school.
    Go woke and everything drops to pieces around you. That’s the story with our schools.

A bit of sense

The head of the GMB union thinks Beer Smarmer’s Nett Zero stuff is ‘bonkers’. He’s equally scathing about the claim that it will create 600,000 jobs. “Yeah, in China.”

Just what everyone needs

Edstone Milipede is giving us regional energy prices. It must be so because he’s denying it so frantically!

A job to be done

The asphalt industry reckons it would cost £17 billion to repair all the potholes in the roads in England and Wales.
    Which means that not turning the Chagos Islands over to Mauritius could get something useful done here, and leave a billion pounds over for the Chancellor to waste.
    Something that’s much too sensible even for Serbeer Smarmer even to consider.

Eye off the ball

How did our wonderful PM mark St. George’s Day? With more of his pathetic ramblings about the far-Right.
    Where there is a Labour politician, let there be pointless division.

Not a lot to celebrate

In the good old days, a plaque on the wall used to make where someone famous had spent some time. Now, it’s more than likely to have been put there by the Metropolitan police to mark where someone had their phone stolen. And the police failed to recover it.

Nul Points

Were our wonderful prime minister’s backroom minions on an extended Easter holiday and does that explain why it took them a week to tell Uncle Beer to go along with the Supreme Court’s ruling on what a woman is?
    With a bunch of his ministers in denial, and Uncle Beer doing nothing, we’ve degenerated to Rule by Rabble.

Doing no favours

After doing some thinking, I’ve come up with my description of the newspaper description of the late Pope Francis as ‘The People’s Pope’. ‘Limp’ is my reaction to that People’s.
    He’s been doing the job for over a decade, and it rather trivializes his career in the top job to try to sum it up in one word.
    Still, all those newspapers will end up in recycling bins and someone else will take over the job and Francis will fade into the background. But with a much better account of his life available than one limp word.

How pointless

What is the point of asking a group of scientists, writers, legal trade members & Yuri Geller the question: “What REALLY happens when we DIE?” Absolutely none at all. Their notions have no basis in fact to act as bedrock. Fills up a couple of pages in a newspaper, though.

Excellent Idea

If, as the TV advert claims, replacing a few doors can let people pretend they have a new kitchen, why can’t we do the same with Nett Zero?
    Replace a few doors, pretend the climate has become okay and prevent that nutter Edstone from handing trillions of pounds to China for solar stuff made using slave labour.

Holiday over!

“This is bank security . . .” just after noon yesterday. Some scammer operating from the Leeds area hoping to get my bank card details. Cue the phone going down serenaded with some choice bad language.

One bloke with the right attitude

The Chief Constable of Greater Manchester has done some vigorous mocking of other forces, which lock people up for ‘guff’ like daring to complain about their child’s school on the internet.
    Not that our wonderful government is helping the situation by trying to introduce a ‘cry baby’ culture, which will let any worker who gets a bit upset about anything at all drag the employer into court in search of compensation. Aided by a grasping lawyer, of course.

A solution?

Astronomers using the James Webb space telescope think they’ve spotted life on a planet 120-odd light years away. Which offers an interesting possibility.
    Why not use it as a processing centre for asylum claims if it can support life?
    Of course, the claimants would have to take their small boats with them as the planet is covered with oceans. It’s also eight times bigger than the Earth, which gives them plenty of room to manoeuvre.

Another inevitable

The gang in London wanting special rights for people who don’t know which sex they are couldn’t resist indulging in some mindless vandalism. Just like the Just Stoppers.
    They just don’t get it, do they?

Industrial strength arrogance

Only under a Labour government could you get trade unions announcing that they going to ignore the law of the land, knowing that as they pay for the Labour party, they’ll be allowed to get away with it.

Come to think of it . . .

Have we forgotten the meaning of Easter? Well, yes, quite a few of us have. It wasn’t until I read a piece by Peter Hitchens in the Daily Disaster and saw a drawing of a bloke dragging a huge great wooden cross that I made the connection to the Jews getting their upstart killed by the Romans.
    An early example of betrayal by ‘friends’, which remains commonplace.
    So, Easter eggs, yes. All the religious stuff, no.

Exit with a sigh of relief

You have to feel sorry for poor old Pope Francis, feeling obliged to keep on slogging away at the job despite old age and extreme bad health.
    His decision to keep going makes the choice to retire with dignity made by Pope Benedict look even braver and even more sensible.

Chalk and granite

One of the Labour apologists on GB Views once tried to put the boat-people invaders in the same box as the Jewish migrants who came here in the 1930s to escape the Nazi regime.
    They were Europeans, educated, and well able to take jobs here and do useful work. The boat invaders, in the main, are young men with no talents, who like hanging around schools.
    Not even remotely similar. But when you’re desperate . . .

Climate Swindle

Does burning coal transported half-way round the world in a steel works put less carbon dioxide into the atmosphere than using coal mined in Cumbria? Only if you’re a nutter like Edstone Miliband and your calculation is fraudulent.
    Is he or his supporters blackmailing PM Smarmer? Or does Uncle Beer just not care how much cash Miliband wastes and how ridiculous he makes the UK look?
    Nothing done here has a measureable effect on the global climate. This is a scientific fact. And grounds for dropping Miliband into a deep, dark hole and letting him fester.

Big surprise

The French have given up on attaching an opening up of our coastal waters to EU fishing fleets to giving UK firms access to their EuroWeapons plan.
    The cynics are now watching for another swindle which will stitch us up for daring to Brexit.

Plenty of time on their hands

As well as Hamas supporters doing their parades in London, the citizens now have to put up with outraged supporters of the trans cause clogging the streets with futile protests.
    And Scotland’s capital wasn’t left out. Edinburgh had to put up with more of the same.
    Do they expect the Supreme Court to issue an urgent apology to them for getting the issue of biological sex wrong? Talk about flogging a dead donkey.

Just talk

Putin the poisoner declared a limited cease fire for Easter but Ukraine’s air raid alerts continued unabated.
    Putin then made threatening noises about violations of the cease fire. As he’s the only one doing the violating, does that mean he’s going to have to impose sanctions on himself?

Weird

How can you have any confidence in a “Big Four” accountancy firm which keeps being fined half a million pounds by the regulator for doing a botched job on a major company?

Catty Green

A host of female celebs have expressed the opinion that the Blue Horizon Six, who were sent to the edge of space on the Amazon boss’s launcher, should be shot into space again.
    And not brought back this time.

Close to a full house?

28 of Beer Smarmer’s ministers are members of the Unite union? Well, that certainly explains the government’s total inability to do anything about a strike involving a few dozen non-jobs, which were handed out by Birmingham’s council the last time the union was being unreasonable.

Not an attraction

It now costs four quid for a lukewarm cup of coffee in London! Do we blame it on all the additional overheads shoved on coffee shops by our Chancellor?
    Things must be even worse in New York if you have to pay eight bucks for a cup there!

Do as I say stuff

London’s useless mayor wants more people to ride around on bikes. Is this him channelling Boris?
    No danger of his setting an example by doing it himself instead of motoring around in an armour-plated limo with a huge police escort.
    Typical bloody politician. Telling everyone else what to do but not making a personal contribution himself.

Not living up to the billing

Is it a Good Friday? Look out the window at the grey sky and its rating can be no more than average to poor.
    But at least it’s not chucking it down with rain yet. That’s a treat yet in store for next week.
    But on the positive side, maybe some good storms in the Channel will slow down the flood of migrants which our wonderful government is doing nothing about.

Time Shift

Crumbs! We’ve only just got to Easter but the Six Million Dollar Man was doing Xmas last night! Complete with a Scrooge-type company boss.

It’s him

Nice to see the Chinese dumping the blame for the failure of the Scunthorpe steel works to be other than loss-making. The insane Miliband green taxes make the energy needed by the plant ridiculously over-priced.
    If Beer Smarmer had any sense, he’d sack Edstone before he can do any more damage.
    But sense isn’t something we associate with Uncle Beer, who seems to be fixated on selling us out to the EU and betraying Brexit every way he can.

Majorities can be ignored?

 The grooming gang cover-ups and the Supreme Court ruling on what a woman is have got the Labour party and the trade unions that pay for it even more tangled than usual.
    Go for the minority vote and to hell with normal people, especially if they’re white. That’s the far-Left’s agenda.

No rush

Astronomers using data from the James Webb space telescope think they may have spotted chemicals characteristic of life in the atmoshere of a planet 124 light years away.
    But before you get excited about a planet that seems to be teeming with life, remember they’re going to spend another year or two confirming the observation.
    It’s rather surprising that anyone takes the ‘are we alone’ issue seriously any more, given the sheer size of the universe, and there are actually people eager for proof that life on Earth is not unique.

No sale

One of my correspondents has had a letter from an outfit called AllClear offering 20% off 2025 travel plan insurance this spring.
    One small snag. The letter is addressed to his father, who hasn’t been around for well over a decade now. Just shows you how up to date some companies, or the companies they buy mailing lists from, keep those lists up to date.

Very confusing

We are surrounded by apple trees in full white blossom and on some dull days, with a half a gale blowing, it has been possible to look out of a window and see showers of white flakes which look just like snow.
    And going outdoors on a day like that can feel positively wintry.

Surprise!

The Supreme Court has astounded the nation with a ruling that being a woman is a matter of biology rather than just a whim. Which puts the defenders of female spaces 100% in the right and those who seek to invade them 100% in the wrong.

More waste of money

Meanwhile, north of the border, HM Inspectorate of Prisons for Scotland wants the taxpayer to cough up for wigs and underwear for the benefit of male prisoners who want to pretend to be female.

Worthwhile task!

The Ministry of Justice has outraged the friends of dangerous criminals by setting up an artificial intelligence system to monitor the bad guys and, presumably, jump on them if they look like doing something nasty.
    Very inventive!

That time of year

Our local health centre was handing out coronavirus boosters to oldies yesterday. Something that ain’t going away.
    One of the customers was surprised to be able to report that there was hardly anyone else there in the early afternoon. Are we having a spell of good health?

Out of excuses

Some of the Labour apologists on GB Views are getting really desperate when they try their blame-shifting. One in particular, who used to be an MP, keeps mentioning Margaret Thatcher.
    Desperation doesn’t come more desperate than that.

Useless bunch

The UK government & the Chinese owners are faffing around and keeping the Scunthorpe steel plant on the edge of disaster and closure. Don’t you just wish our wonderful Labour government could get a grip just once?

Another historical rewrite?

Are the purists now going to have to describe the type of oppression abolished by the likes of William Wilberforce as ‘ancient slavery’ to separate it from the modern sort?

Flexibility Rules, US

Donald Trump might have a spine of steel that will not break, but all his shenannygans with tariffs prove that he can bend it into any shape that suits the moment!

Drop dead

“Did somebody say Jar Steet?”
“Nope.”

Not impressed

Okay, the Amazon boss shot six women up on an 11-minute suborbital flight in one of his Blue Horizon capsules and they landed safely in Texas. But it’s hardly a major landmark in the history of space flight. More rather pointless vertical tourism.

Self-inflicted doom!

Something else to panic about! If you don’t take your shoes off at the front door, a gang of experts reckons, you track millions of particles containing stuff like pesticides into your home.
    Combinations of these pesticides cause cancers and all sort of other nasty stuff. As a result, you’re doomed.
    Worse, cats and dogs also bring in particles, which means that their shoes need to be removed at the door and they need to be shampoo’d before admission.

Next Step?

If you’re in gaol for 55 years as an accessory to the Manchester Arena bombing, and you launch a murderous assault on some prison staff after some idiot let you work in the kitchen, it’s difficult to see what more can be done to you.
    Except applying an automatic death sentence for going beyond what society should be forced to bear.

We’re not entirely bankrupt

 Despite all the doom ‘n’ gloom and costa living crisis, there are still people making a hobby out of going to an airport at some ungodly hour of the morning for a cheap flight to enjoy a day trip to somewhere in Europe.

Big snag

One thing the companies recreating extinct animals like the dire wolf can’t do is provide parents to teach the babies how to survive in the wild. Which makes the notion of reinventing the woolly mammoth to stop global warming in the Arctic look a rather daft idea.

Sounds about right

Birmingham’s least favourite pub – the Rat & Picket.
    Internal scrapping within the Unite union and the national bosses getting in the way are now copping for the blame for not doing a deal with Birmingham council.

The Labour way

Our wonderful government has managed to tax London out of the top five richest cities in the world.
    Some 11,300 of the richest (former) residents have up sticks in the last year and moved elsewhere. Taking their cash with them, of course.

Even more of it

As well as filling the streets with coppers, we have Uncle Beer claiming he’s going to rip up red tape and have a bonfire of quangos, only to create a new equal pay quango, which will apply the red tape of demanding that employers provide records of staff wages plus the race of the recipient.

Wrong target

I read in the Sunday Post that the whole of Scotland is officially at extreme risk of wildfires. Moments later, the Mansion cat was scurrying indoors as a token scattering of rain fell here to dampen paths.
    It never lands where it’s needed!

Going in opposite directions

It rather makes a nonsense of our wonderful prime minister’s guarantee to fill the streets with coppers when you have clowns like the chief constable of the West Yorkshire police putting a ban on recruiting people with a white skin for bean-counting reasons.
    He should be locking himself up for blatant racialism. But like that’s going to happen!

Get rid?

A lot of bosses of British companies seem welded to the woke and diversity garbage, which is sloshing around here. It will be interesting to see if the Trump strategy of abolishing it in the United States does Make America Great Again while we poor Brits continue to struggle with merit subjugated to pointless quotas.

Could be

There seems to be a fair bit of support for the people who invade the exclusion zone around an abortion clinic to harass the women going there.
    No doubt the supporters own one of the set of Great Mugs of Our Time. I’m thinking of the one with the slogan “You don’t have to be NASTY to work here, but it helps’.

Poles apart

Conflicting advice from the experts. Those in security think we should have a 3-day supply of food, water, medicines and other essentials on hand for when the Russians blast the North Sea energy pipelines and Britain goes dark.
    Military experts, on the other hand, think this is a daft idea and we should be doing more to defend ourselves against the Russian ships which sneak around in our water, up to no good.
    That’s the thing about experts. There’s always lots of them around and they always think their point of view is the right one. Which is why dealing with the Chinese plague turned out to be such a shambles.

Lost cause?

We missed it here but fans of rats and the RSPCA were celebrating World Rat Day on the first Friday of the month. It was all about not calling people dirty rats and demeaning the good name of the rat population.
    No doubt the celebrations went over big in Birmingham now that it’s Rat City.

If Only

“If you find the following programme offensive, then you are a creep and a blot on the landscape, and you should be thoroughly ashamed of your lack of contact with reality.”

Modern Times

A surfer was dragged from the sea unconscious off Newquay and had his wetsuit cut off for safety reasons before an air ambulance ride to hospital.
    He’s now hoping enough mugs will crowd fund a new wetsuit for him so he can start risking his neck again.
    No danger of the bloke saving up the £350 himself?

There’s always something

Do you want to mock a particular politician? Never much effort involved as they put being noticed ahead of good sense. The French, president, for instance, is being mocked mercilessly for the amount of cologne that he splashes on himself throughout the day. Easy target.

What security?

Our government keeps going on about energy security when it’s pushing its green bollocks agenda. The UK’s largest wind farm was ripped to shreds by a storm last December and it’s still not working again.
    Vast amounts of subsidy cash going to something too fragile to be of any great use. That’s politics for you.

Word of the day

It has to be entitlement. Our wonderful prime monster feels entitled to hoover up freebies at a rate which makes Freebie Reeves look like a rank amateur, the Commons Speaker feels entitled to his own private jet for his globe-trotting and the anti-Israel faction of Labour MPs feel entitled to slag the country off then be made welcome there when they turn up looking for more slagging material.

A spot of good sense

Our wonderful prime minister has been forced to go for growth over green bollocks and allow Luton airport to expand. Next thing you know, he’ll be offering us an apology for making Freebie Reeves the Chancellor and all the economy trashing his government has managed in its first 9 months.

Really, really desperate

The anti-British mob in the United States are obviously very hard up for things to wallop us with.
    Why else would they start yelling about free speech on behalf of the attention-seekers, who deliberately make a nuisance of themself within an abortion clinic’s exclusion zone?

Boring but true

There’s a lot of sense to the objections to female leads playing all-action, kick ’em in the teeth characters in spy films.
    If the bloke is a foot taller than you and weighs twice as much, it makes a lot more sense to avoid a fight and to sneak up behind him and shoot him in the back of the head.
    Aren’t female spies supposed to be smarter than the blokes? But maybe sneaky ain’t good box-office.

Very small bomb

Is it a Royal bombshell if Prince Andrew asked for advice from his brother, King Charles? As it’s an eminentrly sensible thing to do, only in the mind of the excitable journalist.

The right decision

I am now feeling less noble for not watching the must-see TV show about the teenage killer kid and not contributing to the coffers of NeatFlix.
    Thanks to an article by Boris Johnson, I now know for sure that the show is tripe of the sort which impresses only people like our wonderful prime minister, Uncle Beer, who is demanding it be shown in schools at the sacrifice of some proper class work.

A real killer

A Daily Disaster reader pointed out that if something is ‘non-crime’, then it’s nothing to do with the police.
    Which makes any copper who wastes time on a non-crime during duty hours guilty of misconduct in a public office and liable to be disciplined.
    Likewise, a senior copper who tells a minion to do some non-crime stuff is not fit for purpose and needs to be demoted.

Pragmatic

‘Inclusive for all’ it said in small lettering on the side of the British Gas van along with a rainbow flag. Translation: ‘No matter how weird you are, we’ll take money off you!’

What really happened?

Did Israel actually deport a couple of Labour MPs. Or did someone find their names on a list of undesirables at the airport when they arrived and tell them: “You’re not welcome here, sling your hook.”
    Which saved Israel the expense and inconvenience of a formal deportation.

Way off the mark

A computer analysis @ MIT in America, made in 1972, predicted that mankind would face catastrophe in fifty years’ time, with drastic falls in population in the early 21st century.
    This would be due to food shortages and pollution. Well, given the overpopulated state of the world today, they got that a bit wrong! And distribution, not shortage, has been the food problem for ages. And silly wars getting in the way.

A small step

It’s nice to see some senior judges getting embarrassed by the daft decisions made by their juniors over deporting criminals and visa overstayers and similar blots on our landscape.
    But there’s no sign of the juniors being sacked for being unfit for purpose.
    And the government is still doing nothing about the judiciary hijacking human rights law and bending it out of shape.
    What we need is a big stride in the direction of good sense.

No thanks to him

Our wonderful prime minister is trying to take some credit for the UK ending up in the 10% Trump Tariff bin. Except that it’s the dumping ground for 125 countries of not much economic significance to the USA’s bean-counters.
    And if Smarmer had got his way over Brexit, we’d have been in the 20% tariff bin with the E bloody U.
    Good old Beer voted against it 48 times in the Commons and trying to have a ludicrous People’s Referendum afterwards (who voted anyway, if not people?) to get it cancelled.
    Definitely not on Britain’s side.

End of the world?

What do you do when you can’t get on the internet? Say lots of rude words about the non-existent Virgin Media connection and go and do something that doesn’t involve a computer.

Truth as an optional quality

If you want to get away with outright lies on TV adverts, dive into the net zero territory. Building arrays of pylons and off-shore wind farms won’t give us energy security when the wind don’t blow or it blows too fast.
    And it definitely will not give us affordable electricity because of the subsidies showered on wind farms.

Not what we’re paying for

Is there a dafter idea than the police policy of making the arrest and charging statistics for each social group/minority/skin colour match exactly by letting some criminals off and being extra severe with others if their group isn’t doing enough crime?
    Is there any hope for senior coppers who think it’s not racialist to give preferential treatment to criminals who are not white?
    After the blaze of publicity this lunacy has received, there’s still no sign of it being junked. Why?

A good way to have fun

What’s a good way to respond to the Trump tariffs? In India, they turned him into Guy Fawkes and stuck him on bonfires.

There’s a good idea

A Daily Disaster reader came up with an analogue to starter homes for young people – finisher homes for pensioners. A cheap one- or two-bedroom bungalow.
    Sounds much too practical ever to happen.
    And there’s the problem of a house full of stuff; shrinking it to the smaller space. Do you just chuck it away, or do you try to get some return on the money you paid for it.

Just Jealous?

The leader of the SNP is frothing at the mouth over the cheek of a former treasurer of the party, who moved his homes to rent investments to England after the SNP stuck a 6% tax on second homes.
    “Morally wrong”, Mr. Swinney is yelling.
    But not illegal. There are no laws requiring people to not to take their money elsewhere to avoid taxes. And there are no laws requiring people to follow the moral standards of someone else with their investments.
    Assuming the ‘moral outrage’ is genuine and not just a fit of jealousy aimed at someone who’s more successful than Swinney.

Potholes in the system

Our wonderful prime minister thinks he’s going to tackle the pothole plague by doing a rant at local councils, and then offering 5% less junding for the job than they got last year.

Beyond Two Tier Justice

The nation’s police chiefs want to harmonize their statistics for each grouping in the nation so that arrest and charging records match exactly for each group.
    Which means lenience of a minority which is crime-prone and undue savagery shown to a minority which behaves itself.
    No wonder people are concluding that there ain’t no justice in the justice system with bozos like these in charge.

Busy doing nothing

It’s amazing what can happen in the world of politics. Our dear prime minister has done a lot of sucking up to President Trump in search of trade deal, and go nowhere.
    And after the Trump tariff fest, he’s going to sit on his hands and not respond.
    And somehow, we’re expected to believe that he’s pulled off a masterstroke of politics.
    Right.

Not even close

It’s true, the actors chosen to play the four Beatles in a set of biopix don’t look anything like the bloke they’re pretending to be.
    Some plastic surgery, maybe?

Who’s the athlete?

On the subject of good old T.J., he always has to do a hell of a lot of running to chase after bad guys. Did he have a stunt double to do most of it?
    A star should be able to command one.

Virtue at the taxpayer’s expense

I used to know a local councillor who told me that some council members think it makes them look good if the Town Clerk is paid a ridiculous salary
    Which explains why 4,000 Town Hall staff are on over £100K, plus pension and expenses, and hundreds are paid more than Beer Smarmer gets for being in charge of the entire UK.

Fair question

“Do you have a first name, Callaghan?” the Six Million Dollar Man once asked Oscar’s diminutive aide.
    “Yes,” she replied.
    I wonder if you’d get the same response from T.J. Hooker!

Mugs Galore

You have to be really desperate for attention to splosh loads of money on a handbag that looks like a cornflakes packet or a slice of pizza. Luckily for the people who turn this stuff out, there are lots of attention-seekers with lots of spare dosh around.

Trivial in comparison

We’re supposed to have problems with obesity, but the Indians have us totally beat!
    The government of India reckons it will have 440 million obese people in 2050 because the city dwellers are scoffing junk food. And 800 million people living in poverty on meagre state hand-outs.

Distorted values

How curious that our wonderful Chancellor thinks it’s a good idea to take cash away from carers, who do essential work, but not from those who choose not to have anything to do with work.
    But expecting good sense from politicians is expecting something that rarely happens.

Running out of options

s there anything Trump hasn’t stuck a tariff on? Or is he going to have to resort to sticking tariffs on his existing tariffs to keep on promoting his tough guy image?

Legal conundrum

Is a caution still valid if the cop says “Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?” if she has actually recited them from memory rather than read a script?

The Chagos Kid

President Trump is said to have given our wonderful prime minister the go-ahead to betray British taxpayers by handing over the Chagos Islands to Mauritius – and also £18 billion that we can’t afford due to Labour’s trashing the economy.
    There’s a theory that Labour hates Britain and that’s why Beer Smarmer and his gang do stuff like this. A very convincing theory. And Uncle Beer doesn’t seem bothered by going down in history as the Chagos Betrayer.

Finally, some sense

Despite the best efforts of the embedded wokes, the Office for National Statistics has finally binned the number of trans people acquired from the 2021 census.
    It has been known for ages that the number is a gross exaggeration as people who didn’t have English as their first language gave meaningless replies. But what do the wokes care about actual facts when they are pushing one of their agendas?

Originality binned

D. Trump has been accused of applying the rules of the George Orwell novel 1984 to the governance of the United States. He has made truth and lies interchangeable according to the convenience of Big Donald. Are the US and Russia going to end up as interchangeable bad guys?

Lost Cause

Is there a museum which still does accurate history? Probably not in London. The London Museum has now gone hopelessly woke and it’s busy putting an anti-whiteness agenda into place as part of the Hate Everything British campaign.

More hot air

Birmingham Council doing the Major Incident act over the streets full of refuse has the aroma of pointless posturing.
    Getting some private contractors; and rath-catchers; in to clear the place up on public health grounds would actually make more sense.

No Sale

That Maltesers ad with ‘the companion’ is pretty diverse and pathetic. Fire the agency, get someone decent. If there is still anywhere that can do a decent TV ad without being woke.

That’s a good one!

Question: Ukraine needs a peace-keeping force; what is the UN doing these days?
Answer: The same as Keep Britain Tidy is doing for the litter-strewn UK.

Oh, well

President Trump has made noises about taking America into the Commonwealth of Nations, hoping that King Charles will dish out an invite. Sadly for Trump, it has been pointed out, any invitation will have to come after a vote of the members; it’s not a Royal Gift; and several of those members are sunk deep into China’s Belt & Braces pocket and not likely to welcome him.

Looking ahead

The Commons Speaker reckons that wokists in his former party are intent on ousting him. Not because of his appetite for junkets at the taxpayer’s expense, but in order to get some really woke wonk into the job before Labour loses the next general election.

On Target

Patrick Chrispys of GB Views got it spot on. All the going on about Ramadan by the usual suspects makes a mockery of all the Islamophobia accusations.
    As far as real people are concerned, it’s just something they’re not bothered about rather than afraid of.

The death of education

The wheels really have come off if a toddler can be chucked out of a nursery school because some idiot thinks the kid has a transphobic attitude. Really? A three- or four-year-old?

Not helping

If the Governor of the Bank of England really thinks the state pension should be means tested, he is clearly unfit to hold a public office and he should be sacked forthwith.
    And no pension for the blighter.