Today’s Question

Does a lying Fantasist have the excuse of not knowing she’s doing anything wrong as she is the embodiment of perfection in her fantasy?

No-Go Zone

Hosts of cats are being warned not to let their inquisitive guest into a room where there’s a Xmas tree draped with a string of electric lights.
    Cats have a habit of getting tangled up in the wiring when they climb the tree, sometimes with fatal results.

Easy money

Anyone eager to do some research need only apply for a grant to study the polluting effects of A.I toys on children. Consumer groups are sounding the alarm about the brain-rot A.Is can produce by confronting kids with adult perversions, which the kids can’t understand.

What’s in store

Prime Fantasist Smarmer’s digital I.D scam is currently costed at £1.8 billion, which is why the government is hoping people won’t ask where the money is coming from. [clue: the taxpayer, Ed.]
    Two forecasts: 1. When it starts, the cost of the scam will be around £6 billion and rising. 2. It won’t work most of the time due to sloppy I.T and over-complication.

Survey fatigue

Something else we didn’t really need to know is that the average driver forgets where he/she parked their car 6 times per year and spends an average of 13 minutes looking for it.
    Which adds up to 3½ days in a lifetime of driving. Yawn.

Set in Stone

The current First Rule of Politics – each Labour government has to exceed the number of lies told by the previous Labour regime. Which means that the one that follows Smarmer’s Army sometime in the far future will have to work extra hard.
    In the meantime, the present government is reported to be running out of lies to tell about the lies told by the Fantasist of the Exchequer in the run-up to her disastrous budget.
    The Prime Fantasist’s back office is rumoured to be looking for a cheap bulk deal of lies imported from China or Put’nstan.

One way to do it

What’s the best way to win the World’s Strongest Woman title? Be a six-foot five, 400-pound bloke who’s decided to be female.

Microsoft Outlook gloom

A correspondent has told me he was able to access his Outlook email account on the Sunday before last but when he tried again the following Tuesday, he was told the account had been locked.
    And when he tried to jump through Microsoft’s hoops to get it unlocked, he kept getting messages telling him: “Ooops! Something went wrong.”
    So now he’s going to have to go to his bank’s website and lotz of others to give them an email address that he can access. So much for the interweb making life easier and more convenient.

More tiers

Farmers weren’t allowed to bring tractors into London for a Budget demo as it would ‘seriously disrupt the life of the community’. Strange that this consideration doesn’t apply to the marches about ishues irrelevant to the UK? Not with a Labour government dependent on the Moslem vote.

More Downing Street bonkers

According to Bier Smarmer, anyone who dares to notice that his Fantasist of the Exchequer is useless is sexist. More sexist than claiming she’s beyond criticism if she’s female, Bier?
    Does Bier score any points for being the first PM to put a woman in charge of the nation’s finances? Not if she’s as useless as he is. Worse, any women who notice she’s useless are being accused of being misogynists!
p.s. The Budget’s best description is Total Ratner.

Keeps ’em busy

You’re really desperate dan for something to measure if you’re reduced to claiming that the perfect cup of tea for the building trade has to be brewed for 1 minute 53 seconds precisely.

Trial by jury not a right

Make Dippy Dave the Justice Sec. and what happens? Trial by jury will be abolished for all but the most serious cases, sez a leaked memo. Trial by judge is the replacement.
    Given the dippy decisions some judges make, not a desirable move; but we do have a Labour government . . .
p.s. If Dippy Dave said ‘criminal trials without juries are a bad idea’ back in 2020, we must assume he was just reading something given to him and he’s now repeating something else that he’s been told to say. He’s in stooge mode, in other words.

No help

Nett migration to the UK is down. Sadly, the people being put off are ones who would make a contribution to the economy and the ones being admitted in increasing numbers are scroungers.

Something Useful

What we need is an official glossary of government natter. F’rinstance, the admission that Smarmer’s Army saying: “We’re working very hard” means that bugger all is happening.

Justice delayed

What do you do if you’re busted for shoplifting from a Norfolk supermarket and you’re a copper? Say you took the stuff but claim you were suffering from temporary insanity.
    Will it work? Don’t hold your breath. The trial isn’t until August next year!

The ultimate Not Me Guv

What does a PM who’s spent 5 years war-mongering to avoid a corruption trial do next?
    Send a lengthy document to his nation’s president demanding a free pardon for everything.
    Could even work, too!

Another useless stunt

Unable to get into Gaza, young person of leisure Greenhouse Grotter has been polluting canals in Venice with green dye as her latest bit of attention-seeking.

Know the face

Who was that being a drunk in a Xmas episode of Maigret last night? Our old mate Van der Valk before he became a copper in Amsterdam!

Disorder comes naturally

The far-Left Corbynstein Party had a pleasingly chaotic first ever conference in Liverpool. There was a boycott by the co-founder and accusations of attempts to purge the wrong sort of Lefties!
    Yet Mr. Corbynstein remains confident of building a broad Leftie movement.

Bad people everywhere

Scotland’s First Meenister has felt the need to defend those who fly Saltire and Union flags as a display of patriotism. As has become common south of the border, the far-Left in Scotland are trying to ban national flags for their own devious purposes and in the causes of exclusion and division. Which is not exactly encouraging.

No truth nowhere

1. Lest we forget, the Fantasist said last year: “I’m really clear, I’m not coming back with more borrowing and more taxes.”
    Amazing what you think you can get away with if you don’t live in the real world.
2. Is it news that the lying Fantasist is lying about not lying about the state of the economy and the non-existent Brown Hole before the budget?
    Hardly. We do have a Labour government.

Surplus

Someone else we can do without is the chairman of the BierBC if he and other board members thought that it was okay to smear President Trump with a doctored video shown on Panorama and that they could get away with it.

Another picture

The twittish Tory party chairman got a booting for claiming that a badge sporting Reform UK’s year of birth (2018) looks like one issued to Nazi party original members in 1933.
    Well, they’re both round . . .
    That’s about as far as the resemblance goes.

It’s what Labour does

Is it news that Serbia Smarmer is lying to us with claims that his lying Fantasist didn’t lie to us every time she opened her mouth in the run-up to her disastrously dishonest Budget?
    We just have to ask ourselves, “What else does he do?” to get to the truth of the matter.

Not impressed

A newspaper picture of what was described as a watch that cost £400,000 showed something rather less than wonderful. The hands just merge with the mass of bits and pieces of mechanism behind them.
    But if you’re a billionaire, you can always get a minion to tell you what time it is.

Something else he’d fail at

Bier Smarmer would make a lousy secret agent. His ‘secret’ meetings with Chinese officials about their mega-spy centre and torture chamber in the heart of London are being reported by news services practically as they happen.

In the DNA?

What happens when the Office for Budgie Responsibility reveals that the tax-dodging Fantasist has been lying about a huge Brown Hole in the nation’s accounts for months and no tax rises were needed in her disastrous budget?
    Nothing.
    We have a Labour government which treats dishonesty as its gold-standard.
p.s. How did the OBR manage to publish its assessment before the budget was done in the Commons? One popular theory is that someone Shirking from Abroad got the time difference wrong and put it on the OBR webside an hour early.
    The alternative is that the leaky Fantasist and her dishonest PM made the OBR do it to take some of the focus off what they knew would be a disastrous budget.

Milipede-scale madness

Electricity from the Hinkley Point C nuclear power station will be made ridiculously expensive by the Enviromint Agency and National England. Their scams to prevent fish from being sucked into the cooling system will cost £700,000,000.
    All to save ONE salmon every 12 years and ONE trout every 30 years. All paid for by the end-product’s customers, of course. No wonder Hinkley’s electricity will cost twice as much as that from similar plants in France and Finland.

Not all of them are

I noticed in an article about the company that owns the Daily Mail and other newspapers adding the Telegraph to its collection the comment: “The role of trusted media has never been more important.”
    Was this a sly dig at the scandal enshrouded BierBC?

Mythmaking?

The newspaper scribe Jenni Murray was blaming her fat jabs for suddenly seeing flashes of light. But one of my correspondents, who doesn’t need to slim, experienced the same thing decades ago.
    He was told it was a detached vitreous body in the eye bashing the retina and the light flashes were a response to the impacts. And in most cases, such as his, no damage is done and the flashes stop as mysteriously as they began.

Credibility Chasm

The Culture Sec. is making noises about not letting the inflation based rise in the BBC licence tax go ahead next year. But she has a major problem. She’s a member of a Labour government which is setting world records for telling lies when money is concerned.

23,000 fantasies

The Govester joined in President Boris’ condemnation of the Chinese plague ‘inquiry’; that’s the one that failed to consider where the virus came from and were lock-ins worth it?
    Mr. Gove took issue with the judge’s use of a number from a professor whose deaths projection model was condemned as unreliable as it failed to be inclusive enough of measures which had been put in place to limit the spread of the plague.
    Meanwhile, the rest of us are wondering why the ‘inquiry’ dragged on for so long when others abroad were done and dusted years ago.

Weasel Words

“Of course, it is impossible to blame xxx for yyy” [but we government minions will continue to do so].

Not much cop

Airport lounges have been given a booting by the consumer guide Which?. Only a third got 3 or more stars out of 5. Drab and overpriced was the main conclusion.
    Some start the day as they mean to go on – scruffy and crumb-sprinkled. Airport bars and restaurants give better VFM.

Alternative attention grabber

We’ve been told by familiar faces like Dave the ex-Leader that prostate screening cancer is vital. But if the test on offer isn’t reliable and given the state of the NHS’s management, a national screening programme is bound to be come a notional screening shambles at huge expense to the taxpayer very quickly.
    Could this be the reason why the government is trying to deflect attention from a disastrous budget by kicking this can down the road and generating a row about it?

No chance

Smarmer’s Army continued to pretend that it will build a million and a half new homes during this Parliament. But the construction industry is having to rely more and more on the efforts of pensioners whilst Labour pays able-bodied youngsters to Lurk @ Home.
    And then there are all the government attempts to kill off oldies to reduce the state pensions bill . . .

Proof

We are definitely being short-changed by the Legend channel over episodes of The Professionals. On Wednesday, we got series 3 episode 2. On Thursday, there was teenage football in the slot. On Friday (today), it’s series 3 episode 6. Where’s the rest?

On his knees to enemies again

MI5 thinks it’s a dreadful idea; borderline treason? The local council doesn’t want the Chinese mega-spy-centre in the middle of London for the more accessible reason that it will cause traffic chaos. Which is something that the Sultan of Sell-Out, Never Here Bier, knows nothing about.
    So much for his aimless bragging about robustly protecting national interests.

Deluded, or what!

Serbia Smarmer reckons he will be prime monster until he calls it a day in 2034, when he expects to hand the job over to some other mug who’s just as UseLEZ. In your dreams, matie!

More from Mr. Useless

What use are the Environment Agency and Cherwell District Council in Oxfordshire? None at all if they ignored reports of waste dumped on a 4-acre site to avoid the landfill tax – now £126/tonne but about to be raised by the Fantasist.
    £25 million is the guesstimate for clearing the site. No surprise nothing was done if Edstone Milipede is the Enviromint Sec.

Due to a weak prime minister . . .

Wholesale energy prices (gas) are down 4% but Ofgem is giving its customers a price cap rise present for Christmas. Why? To pay for Edstone ‘300 quid off your bill’ Milipede’s insane Nett Zero scams.
    All down to a prime monster who is scared to sack him and put someone less looney into the job.

Good point

A Daily Disaster reader pointed out that politicians want a cashless society so that anyone who objects to their abuses can be effectively debanked into a neutralized non-person.

Really?

 How to get a good fake news story going – chuck the middle bit of the newspaper into the recycling bin and gaze in wonder at a page from the news section which is opposite an unrelated page in the sports section.

 

Wot next?

Theatre companies are in a relentless competition to offer the daftest and most obvious trigger warnings about their products.
    What tops a warning about scenes of hardship in a play based on David Copperfield by Charles Dickens? How about a warning that balloon animals are used in a show!

No foot wear

A drop in the sales of fancy trainers is being taken as further proof that Labour is creating a vast army of jobless youngsters. Things are expected to get much worse in the wake of Reeves Budget #2, the sequel.

More law

If you steal £90,000 from your ancient grandfather, do you go to gaol? Not if you plead ‘spoilt brat syndrome’.

Form for it

It should be no surprise to anyone that Serbia Smarmer picked a fantasist for the Exchequer job. When Director of Public Prostitutions, Serbia and deluded police accomplices blew tons of our money on trying to stitch up Conservative politicians and entertainers for child abuse and murder by believing the testimony of criminal fantasists. Who went to gaol, unlike Serbia and his accomplices.

Politics in action

If the regime in the Untied States denies that the 28-point wish-list surrender ultimatum issued by President Trump was the work of Put’n’s puppeteers, does that mean it actually is?
    Given that the usual political reaction to the truth is to deny it if inconvenient, we know what we believe.
p.s. Trump has said that the Ukrainians show zero gratitude for this betrayal. But why would they be grateful for being sold down the river?

More sound and helpless fury

‘Andrew ignores summons to US’ read the headline. Which is his right as a Britisch citizen.
    It’s all very well for attention-seeking minions of the House Oversight Committee to jump up and down and stomp their little feet, but no one on this side of the pond has to take any notice of them.

Not fair!

We’ve been severely short-changed of episodes of The Professionals; Bonker and Donker; by the Legend channel. I’ve been told that Donker refused to allow repeats – to the great financial disadvantage of Gordon Jackson, who was Mr. Cowley.
    His excuse was that he was trying to be a serious thespian and he didn’t want people remembering this past part.
    A dodgy conspiracy theory for the present age would be that he’s doing it again.

Vaguely like justice

How about 10 years for each of the 31 charges against the bloke who drove his car into a Liverpool FC victory parade and bashed 130 people?
    The sentences to be served consecutively to keep him behind bars for at least a couple of years despite Labour’s ‘let them get away with it’ culture.

Wot responsibility

The Office for Budgie Responsibility has trumped the Fantasist of the Exchequer’s series of leaks by publishing a response to her Budget on Mr. Internet half an hour before she unloaded it on the Commons. No surprises on offer, just more taxes to pay bribes to Labour’s core voters and the £69 billion Brown Hole in her accounts is all the fault of Brexit and the Tories.

Think of a number – 23,000

£200 million. That’s what was blown on the ‘inquiry’ into the government’s handling of the Chinese plague epidemic. About all it achieved was to give former PM Boris Johnson a chance to use his newspaper page to tell us how badly wrong the judge got things, especially on the ishue of lockdowns.
    She wanted more of them when the evidence from abroad is that they were less than effective.
    She is also being accused to having the verdict all ready to go before the show actually began.

No mystery

The Commons Education Committee wants to know why children are reading less, and it wants input from experts. Which will be a waste of time and our money as everyone in the real world knows that kids spend their time messing about with phones and looking at trash and misinformation on the internet.

Putin the ‘rat’ into deliberate

Beir Smarmer, a ’uman rights lawyer, is deliberately depriving military veterans of their rights under the Euro Covention of ’Uman Rights by treating them worse than terrorists.
    Labour governments let the IRA get away with it and throw veterans into the clutches of terrorist-supporting lawyers and courts in Northern Ireland. Wunderbar.

Just inevitable

Why did YouGov bother with doing a poll on the state of the economy? 4% think it’s doing okay and 80% think it’s bad or very bad? No surprise there. After all, we do have a Labour government.
p.s. Is the Fantasist somewhat schizophrenic if she describes her own budget leaks and kite-flying as ‘unhelpful’?

Job being done

Bier Smarmer is well on the way to creating his Island of Strangers. Brits are leaving the UK in record numbers and being replaced with foreign scroungers; also in record numbers.
    Then there’s the betrayal of former soldiers and the free passes for IRA terrorists. And so it goes on and on.

How long really?

A former leader of UKIP/Reform in Wales has been sentenced to 10 years in gaol for taking sackloads of cash from Put’nstan to make speeches supporting the attack on Ukraine and to use to subvert other UK MPs and MEPs.
    But how many of those 10 years will he actually spend behind bars in Labour’s discount culture?
    A couple? A couple and a half?
    Or will there be an appeal that gets him off if Put’nstan is ruled not an enemy state, as China was?

Selective rejoicing

Lotz of NFL activity to come on Thursday, as it’s their Thanksgiving. That’s when the puppetmasters in Put’nstan give thanks for being able so effortlessly to get President Trump to bash the Ukrainians on their behalf with ‘his’ ultimatum.

Not me, Gov

Another Labour minister, another housing ‘error’ in his favour. The Defence Sec. has joined the Rachel Thieves & Angrier Robot Club by underpaying the council tax due on his second home for a couple of years.

Betrayal on betrayal

Why does the government let China have a free hand with its spying? Because Thievin has made such a hash of the economy that Serbia Smarmer thinks he can’t afford to offend the Chinese, even though our trade with China is unimportant and there’s no chance they will bale us out.
    That’s why MI5 keeps complaining about not being able to do its job and the Brits who spy for China get away with it through government knobbling of the prosecution.
    And then there’s that mega-embassy that China wants to build over centres of vital and sensitive electronic traffic with a built-in dungeon and torture suite . . .

Dustbowl

What the Chicago Bears desperately need to do is hoover their pitch. Clouds of dust at every impact from feet or flying bodies. Maybe they could get the bouncy bird from the ever-on watch advert to do the job.
    She looks like she has more than enough energy to tackle an NFL pitch – plus the end zones and the sidelines. As long as one of the serial killer candidates doesn’t get her!

Not all bad

All the Budget kite-flying by a clueless Labour government has done a huge favour to quick-witted Opposition parties.
    Both the Conservatives and Reform have been able to cherry-pick the really catastrophic policies to build a vision of Britain on its knees; beyond rescue by the IMF; and blame it all on the Fantasist and Bier Smarmer, the bloke who put a clueless rank amateur in charge of the Exchequer.

One road to a Peace Prize

Hand over a 28-point list of the Kremlin’s concessions for an end to the campaign of mass murder against Ukraine. Then tell Ukraine it’s on its own and toast if it doesn’t agree to the lot by next Thursday.
    Could someone be in the pocket of Put’n’s puppeteers?

A little known fact

ADHD actually stands for antidiuretic hormone disorder, a condition which reduces the capacity of the kidneys to store water and increases the frequency of the need to urinate.

Maybe he is some use, after all

Uncle Bier Smarmer has been a politician long enough for the rest of us to figure out he’s as honest as short is long. Which means that anyone who tries to claim he ain’t is a crook. Which could be an argument for keeping Bier in No. 10 until all the crooks have been spotted.
    What a terrible thought!

Death from below!

Something to scare the pantz off Shirk @ Homers: radioactive radon gas seeping up from decaying uranium ore beneath their house!
    There’s a lot of it about and even if the local council knows about it, Shirkers can’t rely on being warned.

Don’t mess with delusions?

A study in 2012 got professors in the USA to rate a fictional CV for a science job, which was labelled either John or Jennifer as the name of the applicant. The ‘males’ got the majority vote.
    Doing the study again this year got a majority for the ‘female’ applicants. The human behaviour industry is not amused by this debunking of the presence of an anti-female bias in science.

No surprise

The COP-out in Brazil has gone to the expected destination. The usual suspects in Africa, etc., are rattling their begging bowls for donations, which will usually be stolen by the regime rather than used to improve the lot of their unfortunate subjects.
    And the countries which are producing the carbon dioxide about which the climate spivs are yelling weren’t at the charade and they won’t be contributing.

Cryptic crossword offering

Q: bulbs used during cooking (5)
A: light (especially on a dark day)

Form for it

Birmingham’s Labour council, which has driven the city into bankruptcy, fell out with its binmen, they went on indefinite strike and the city’s streets filled up with rubbish.
    Now, the council has fallen out with the agency workers, who have been doing the binmanship. Back to blocked streets again.

Sound & Fury

The experts have analyzed the Home Sec.’s plans to do something about industrial scale abuse of the asylum system. The verdict is that there will be lotz of talk and Labour ranting, and little of anything of use achieved.
    After all, the government is Labour, which doesn’t do achievement. The number of gangs smashed by Serbia Smarmer and his former Home Sec. Pixie Balls tells us that.

Lost cause

If the government pays compenbloodysation [i.e. our cash] to a Turkish criminal because wearing a 24-hour electronic tag made the criminal feel distressed, then there is no hope for Smarmer’s Army.
    Not that there ever was much hope before this latest legal outrage was exposed.

Today’s Questions:

1. How do they get away with BLACK Friday? Do they have to chain up all the wonks in a cellar somewhere to suppress all the yells of rachelism?
2. How can a Friday last for weeks rather than the customary 24 hours?

Get-out clause?

Response to a headline in a newspaper about to go into the blue recycling bin: The government’s digital I.D card scam might allow people to pick their own gender but it can’t make others go along with an obvious fantasy as it deprives them of their ’uman bluddy right to live in the real world.

Not me, Gov.

“That move is not allowed,” said the indignant on-screen message from the laptop’s operating system during a game of Solitaire.
    To which my reply is: “Don’t tell me, tell the cat who just took a stroll across the keyboard.”

No friend, he

What exactly is President Trump getting out of ordering Ukraine to hand over as much of the country as the backstage spivs controlling Put’n can swallow up? We should be told.

Fallout

Bespoke tailoring looks like becoming a thing of the past thanks to fat jabs. Firms are complaining that customers are changing shape radically between fittings and creating crisis decisions between alterations and a complete rebuild from scratch.

Two of a kind

In depth observation of Put’n the Poisoner has revealed that like Serbia Smarmer, he’s not really in charge of anything. Like Smarmer, he does some strutting on the world stage but he never makes any decisions.
    They are on offer, as with Smarmer, only after he’s back in his bubble and the people really in charge have decided what serves their bank balances best.
    This is not going down well with the myth-makers, who are trying to book a place in history for Put’n as an autocratic mass murderer who puts the likes of Uncle Joe Stalin to shame. And who makes the Great Train Robbers looks like rank amateurs.

Today’s observation

If you see someone wearing an AMERICA FIRST baseball cap, there’s a good chance that you’ll get the real message if you subtract ‘arica’ from the first word.

Bonanza time

Crooked councils are expected to make a bomb out of speeding fines over the Xmas period. Notwork Rail has 32 days of work on tracks planned and train services will vanish or be subject to long delays.
    This will leave anyone who needs to be elsewhere on the roads if they have a car, or stuck at home and doing Xmas on the internet if they don’t.

Things can only get worser

A Budget that lightens the load on households and businesses and reform of the wealth-gobbling public sector will require leadership, a former Bank of England guru reckons.
    Sadly, we have a Labour government and Serbia Smarmer as PM, and a Fantasist for Chancellor. So we’re screwed, basically.

Weather woes

Eco-grief is making people take to drink and drugs, a government agency reckons. Talk of climate emergencies and news stories about floods and general media hype; especially that on the internet; is leaving 7% of the people in the agency’s study unhinged.

Argy-bargy shambles

The Labour party is building on its reputation for time-wasting. We have a Home Sec. talking tough about migration and Lord Squirmer, the looney-Left et al telling us it ain’t gonna happen if it takes cash out of the pockets of lawyers.
    As you’d expect, Two Tier Bier Smarmer has a foot in both camps.

Stop panicking!

Voting Reform into control of some councils has had an obvious benefit – undeclaring the bogus climate emergency imposed by ecospivs. Millions of pounds not wasted and ousted Labourites are furious because of it.

Something to say

“What’s your problem, mate?” Tone: aggressive.
    “Optic myapathy**. What’s your problem?” Tone: off-hand.
** Something I noticed in the recovery period after being in hospital in the middle of the year. The muscles that make your  eyes focus according to where you’re looking; close to, middle distance and distance; get lazy and seeing things in detail can be a struggle.

Trust him to get it totally wrong

London’s Sadgeek mayor is getting a richly deserved booting over his claim that there are no grooming gangs in the London area.
    Not so, says the Met Commissioner.
    His minions are looking at 9,000 cases of past child abuse and they are expected to identify two to three thousand cases where grooming gangs were involved but no charges were laid.

Trust them to get it wrong

Pay 40 or 50 grand, or even more, for an electric or hybrid car and what do you get? Wonky on-board technology, in some cases. That’s gadgets which report a 10 mph speed limit sign as a licence to do 70 mph and 30 signs as offering 80.
    They also do the reverse, interpreting a 50 sign as 5 mph and slamming on the brakes unexpectedly.
    “Eyes on the road and signs, not gadgets”, is the best the manufacturers can offer.

One way to do it

How cunning of the Fantasist of the Exchequer to offer a ‘smor gasboard’ of tax changes in her budget. As no one knows what the expression means, no one can accuse her of sharp practice.

Well, they would

Trade unions and Labour MPs want Sir R. Gibb removed from the board of governors of the BierBC.
    What crime did the former communications director for PM TheRazor May commit? They blame him for the report which exposed the ‘impartial’ Beeb’s duplicitous editing of the Trump Capitol speech to create a false impression of what Mr President actually said.

All out all the time

Bosses of the BMA trade union are finding it difficult to stock picket lines with juvenile doctors. Lots of them choose to stay at home or actually turn up for work as an alternative to standing in the rain on a cold day.
    Undeterred, the union bosses are planning monthly strikes to force the Health Sec. Wee Streeting, to cave in to their latest demand for another 30%.

Worth about 10p?

Following on from the offer to ten tons of old rope as a work of art worth a million quid, an enterprising pseudo-artist is believed to be collecting the kites which were flown about her budget by the Fantasist of the Exchequer and subsequently crashed and burned.
[Not going to be very big, the heap, is it? Ed.]

Up-mountain trek

The Home Sec.’s attempts to reform the asylum system look like running into a brick wall of Labour MPs who want to pretend that foreign economic migrants and scroungers need asylum and a free ride.
    That’s usually MPs who depend on the votes of in-comers to ride the gravy train.

Consolidation

Maybe it’s time to dispense with a lot of the initials and replace ADHD and all the similars with a single category. CBBSW would sum them up nicely; Can’t Be Bothered, So What?

Pointless gesture

How much influence does the boss of British Gas have? He’s warned that the Milipede Nett Zero 100% green energy will be unaffordable. Anyone listening? Nope?
    So that’s another Nett Zero, influencewise.

Chalk and concrete

Using Denmark as a source of ideas for dealing with illegals is a bad idea, some are claiming; with some justification. Denmark has a government which wants to look after the interests of the Danish people. We have a Labour government, which is pretty much the exact opposite as far as our interests are concerned.

Inhuman Rights?

Had to happen. We’re being told that getting rid of weeds to tidy up a garden is a Bad Thing. It’s killing. It’s denying unwanted plants their rights to inclusion, diversity, etc. It’s shameful discrimination against weeds in favour of the plants selected by the gardener, which could become a hanging offence, if the fans of the likes of Japanese knotweed get their way.

Growing up too fast

Mr. Internet is getting a booting from dermatologists over kids imitating skinfluencers and slapping adult beauty products all over their tiny selves.
    Mental ’elf ishues and triggering allergic reactions and other skin conditions are the main concerns.

No contradiction

1. The BierBC holds itself to the highest editorial standards.
2. Unfortunately, that highest height is about knee-high to an ant. Which explains why two separate doctored versions of the Trump Capitol speech were broadcast; one in June 2022 and the next two years later in October 2024.
3. These standards also apply to Serbia Smarmer, who stands accused of clearing his chief of staff of toxic briefings against other Labour bods and ministers after Mr. McSweetie sed he din’t do it.

More justice tiers

There is a world of difference between censorship and obliging the news nedia to report accurately and to refrain from creating and/or passing on fake news. But, it seems, the distinction can’t be applied if President Trump is involved.

Elser where . . .

What’s this week’s NFL hilites grotty ad on ViewTube? Some fat bird with ants in her pantz who lets a smart watch run her life.

Past blaster

It’s right, you know. Back in the good old days when Mr. Cowley was in charge of his CI5 Professionals, police car sirens really did say: “Nee-nah, nee-nah.”

Elsewhere .

Something else on offer for what could end up at a million quid is a pocket watch, which was found on the body of one of the passengers who didn’t get off the RMS Titanic and drowned.
    The watch is described as having stopped at 2:21, the time at which the liner sank. Cynics might be left wondering if its winder wasn’t twiddled a bit somewhere along the way . . .

Which one?

There are so many kwikbux adverts during NFL hilites on ViewTube that we find ourselves trying to decide which of the blokes in them looks most like a serial killer.
    Well, it’s something to do until the opportunity to cut the tedious ad short appears. This and Fleabag Prime are now officially as tedious as the extinct elephant.

Okay if you can get it

“There will always be a mug” seems to be a sound principle in the art world.
    Cue a bloke who thinks a ten-ton heap of carefully cleaned old rope is worth a million quid.

Unsurprising

It has been calculated that the juvenile doctors’ strike will cost the NHS £250 million, which it can’t afford to waste.

Communications Technology? Ha!

An email arrives from Mr. Giordano, the wine supplier, to say your order is out for delivery and there’s a tracking link. Click on the link and you end up at the Yodel website, which tells you that the order is still at the shipper, i.e. Giordano, for days.
    Despite the internet and emails and all that, one gets the distinct impression that the best indicator of when your order will arrive remains someone ringing your front doorbell.

Totally just making up the numbers?

It’s interesting to note that the Tory appointee to the BierBC board is deemed to be capable of inflicting all sorts of evil on the Beeb whilst the Welsh Nationalist and Labour stooges on the board are unmentionable by politicians and the Beeb, and completely invisible to far-Left agitaters.

F.O.I.A.

A lefty think tank has actually come up with a good idea!! It wants ‘shrinkflation’ labels on products which now offer less for the same old price. Big and prominent to warn potential buyers that they are being ripped off.

Consistent but nothing else

The Fantasist of the Exchequer is doing a 100% job on the Britisch economy. Having undermined the foundations with her first budget, she is about to spray weedkiller on any green shoots of recovery with her second budget, building on unemployment now up at 5% and jobs disappearing at the rate of 1,000 per month. Her strategy seems to be to fly as many kites as possible and count the death threats to decide which to abandon.

A spot of logic

If the BierBC is a treasured institution, maybe it needs to be treated like pirate treasure and buried somewhere remote and inaccessible.

That day again!

Grey Cup 112 was played in Winnipeg. The RoughRiders foiled the Alouette opener with a pick. Almost one the other way! RR punt instead for a rouge, 1-0. Punt, punt. A bomb pass got the Als close, Charge on 3rd & goal from the RR 1, 1-7. The Riders came back in Q2, only to go out on downs at the MA 4.
    Nope, DPI by the Als, replay the down from the MA 1. Charge! 8-7. Another RR drive to the red zone. TD! 15-7. And a pick by the Riders of a Fail Mary to close the first half.
    A good return of the Q3 kick off got the RR into the Montreal half, a pass play taken to the MA 1, TD Charge!, 22-7. A pick in the 9th minute by the RR went . . . to the first FG, 25-7. Red zone for the Als, on to a TD, 25-14.
    In Q4, the Als were close again, FG, 25-17 at half-way. One back for the RR missed and was returned. A huge pass play by the Als, on to the RR 3; where they coughed the ball up!! Punt by the Riders with a minute left.  A 3rd & 10 made by the Als with 6 seconds left.
    A pass to the end zone at 0:00 from midfield bounced off RoughRider hands to go incomplete. The 112th Grey Cup goes to the team from Regina, Susquatchuan.

Redefine poverty, prove any old rubbish

There is no evidence that the 2-child limit on state benefits has thrust half a million kids into destitution. Which means that Serbia Smarmer abolishing the cap is just one more instance of Labour’s policy of Bashing Britain’s Prosperity.
p.s. ‘relative poverty’ – is that compared to a rich uncle?
p.p.s. If the Fantasist kite-crasher Reeves has dug a £70 billion Brown Hole in the nation’s finances, how much deeper will the U-turn on child benefit take it?

Counterblasts

● “What we’re seeing is . . . fear of the truth,” said Nicro Binbag at his most pompous. Is that why the BierBC doesn’t do truth all that often?
● A Labour minister came up with the BierBC ‘tells the story of who we are’. But she failed to mention that the ‘we’ included ravening hordes of the ludicrous Left, climate criminals and all sorts of similars.

Medicine madhouse

On the one hand, we’re being told that the strike by juvenile doctors will snaffle £240,000,000 from the NHS budget, a lot of it going to gap-filler consultants and locums, and there will have to be cut-backs in front-line staff and services.
    On the other hand, we have the quango NHS England busy encouraging patients to continue to come forward for care. Which they won’t get.

There’s a thought

What’s the word for the bias at the BierBC? Systemic? Endemic? Epidemic? Institutional? This could be the basis for a BierBC quiz show of the sort that most people ignore.
p.s. Giving us ‘blistering’ transformed into ‘blustering’ involves just one small typo and the ‘inadvertent’ alibi. Another category for the show?

She just don’t get it

No wonder they call her the Fantasist of the Exchequer if Thievin thinks a government spending vast amounts of money is increasing growth and productivity when the cash is hoovered out of the wealth-creating private sector to blow on the wealth-consuming (and Labour paymaster) public sector.
    Still, she can always blame her ludicrous handling of the economy Bier, on the bloke who thought she could do the job.

All flash and no bang

It tells you rather a lot about our wonderful Labour government that its risible one in, one out palaver with France is seen as a ‘flagship’ deal. Especially with the ‘outers’ becoming ‘back inners’ a few days later.
    Where do they get the cash for another small boat trip across the Channel? There’s a lot of silence on that ishue.

More Bias, Bier?

Serbia Smarmer might thinks attacks on his useless government are ‘unacceptable’ but they are perfectly acceptable to everyone else when the assaults are full justified.

With friends like them . . .

Who is leaping to the BierBC’s defence over President Trump’s threat to sue over Panorama's malicious edit? A. Campbell, Iraq dodgy dossier confecter and E. Davey, Trivial party Post Office minister who let the Horizon Horror Happen on his watch.

Spot on

You know what, that Armed Services veteran who said the sacrifice of the glorious dead wasn’t worth the society we have now is exactly right.
    A world which thinks apologies are necessary before TV shows made in the last quarter of the 20th century isn’t worth serving or saving.
    The only consolation is that when the Russians and/or the Chinese take over, they’ll become as badly contaminated as we are now. And serves the buggers right for seeking domination of a world that isn’t worth anything much.

Another Observation

“How can we trust the BierBC after this?” is countered by: “Not that we trusted it before ‘this’ as there have been too many past cases of ‘this’ to support the usual ‘inadvertent’ alibi.”
    Blame it on Brexit and climate change?

Someone else needing to be sued?

Is it evil libel on the furniture supplier Ikea to compare Serbia Smarmer to the items they sell? There is a clear implication of flogging goods known to be shoddy.

Time to be amazed

An employment tribunal judge has ruled that publishing views critical of Islam is protected under the Equalities Act (2010).
    F.O.I.A.
    But will this ruling survive a final hearing of the plaintiff’s discrimination claim in February? Or will the wonks triumph?

Mugs Again

Why are British troops being sent to Belgium to defend its airports from Russian-bought drone attacks? So that the Belgian government can waste lots of cash on indulgences rather than defending the country’s interests?

Nothing useful to do?

Will the Global Day of Achtung demanded by the COP-outs who weren’t invited to the do in Brazil include China, India and the Untied States of America?
    Or will they just do what they normally do and take no bloody notice?
    One guess.

Total garbage from desperates

Smarmer’s dependents in the Commons have come up with an interesting scare story. If the really looney Lefties boot him out of the party leadership, there will have to be a general election. Which is BS.
    What isn’t BS is that most of them will lose their cushy job.
    The mess is being labelled as a crude attempt to generate sympathy for a UseLEZ PM.
p.s. It’s all very well for Wee Streeting, the target of the botoxic briefings, to claim he’s not a traitor, but that’s exactly what a traitor would say. Case not closed.

One we didn’t need

Winter Storm Clawdia ripped up yesterday to give us the worst day of the year thus far. No floods here but wet and windy all day long and the Mansion cat, who spent long periods outdoors on Thursday, didn’t even think about going out on Friday.

An observation

Could Lord Pally be persuaded to cough up some glasses so that the likes of Nicro Binbag at the BierBC can see what’s going on under their noses?

Other ways to blow the mind

What do you get during episodes of Star Trek on Legend? Ads for Adjustable Bed Socks and the weird Aldi notion that Xmas is controlled by carrot-shaped aliens.

Shock-horror

Supermarket sushi doesn’t contain any raw fish, an investigation has found. Salmon toppings for the imported Australian(!!) rice is smoked or cured and just made to look raw ’coz Brits don’t do disgusting raw fish and cooking or curing kills bacteria. And there’s more chicken sushi than fish sushi sold here.

Wonky calculator?

A government panic attack has resulted in the books being fiddled so that the Thievin Brown Hole in the accounts is only £68.5 billion rather than £70 billion and she doesn’t have to trash a manifesto pledge by shoving up income tax and risk being lynched by outraged customers.

Ministerial Quality

One senior member of Smarmer’s Army reckons that Bier is one of only two people alive who have won a general election for Labour and it would be madness to have a leadership contest after only 17 months. Which is utter garbage.
    We got the present shower due to ‘Vote Reform, Get Labour’. Never-Here-Bier has shown himself to be idle, dishonest, freebie grabbing and addicted to posturing abroad. And tony b. liar was just as dishonest as Bier, which tells us what to expect from any Labour PM.
    And all that’s on offer as a replacement is another deadleg. e.g. Edstone Milipede, the Labour rank & file hero.

Well deserved

No surprise that the energy ‘regulator’ Ofgem is getting a booting for being as UseLEZ as the water mob Oftwat having presided over the demise of 31 cheap, cheerful and collapsible energy suppliers.
    The cuteness/irrelevance of the company name has always been a good indicator of a lack of stickability.

Today’s Thought

Q: Does Labour have a Plan B, especially for what happens after they dump Serbia Smarmer?
A: They don’t even have a Plan A. They couldn’t be arsed to do any planning before they fell into government and they don’t need to do any with 5 years of milking the taxpayer on offer.

Shameless Bier

No surprise that Smarmer’s EFU reset deal involved coughing up more money to the Euro-parasites. The latest Brexit betrayal involved paying into the EFU regional levelling-up fund. Something which is 100% grab and Nett Zero return as far as the UK is concerned.

One way to do it

Strikes by unionized doctors are expected to relieve some of the pressure on the NHS by killing off thousands of customers, especially elderly ones, during the coming winter flu season.
    Whether or not the UDs will expect a bonus for this service has yet to be revealed.

It’s the fantasy season?

In the wake of the 7-minute burglary at the Louvre in Paris, English Heritage has put its people in Wiltshire on high alert and it’s giving them hostile reconnaissance training.
    Someone at the top is worried about blaggers strolling off with 25-ton slabs of stone from Stonehenge!

Another one

The A.I editor at the Daily Disaster strikes again. The system that gave us supery-acht, seat-anker and vide-ophone as line-ending hyphenations has come up with takeo-ver.

More things

.The justice minister, S. Sackman, reckons the justice system will be different in a decade or so when A.I makes it faster, fairer and more ethical.
    Also dafter, more arbitrary and an even bigger waste of money when the cost of correcting plain stoopid decisions is added on?

Things to come?

.Fuel prices per litre at our local Esso site are 136.9p for petrol and 144.9p for diesel. They’ve both gone up by 4p recently, which I thought was excessive. Until I came across a photograph in an archive.
    In July 2022, the prices were 189.9p and 199.9p. Is this where we’re heading after the Fantasist of the Exchequer has boosted inflation with this month’s Budget?

Severely beaten brows

.China has found that threatening to cut off access to its fee-paying students is a great way to force a UK university to drop human rights research into the Chinese practice of using slave labour from disapproved-of minorities.
    It took a threat of legal action to force Sheffield Hallam U. to do a U-turn and reinstate a cancelled course.

The reputation is there

He pretends that what he says carries weight and it’s unlikely that he gets that we know he’s just going through the motions. Thus when someone as dishonest as Serbia Smarmer tells us that the BierBC doesn’t do fake news, the automatic assumption is that this is more Smarmer fake news.

Today’s Question

Would one H-bomb dropped on the site of the COP-out rally of scroungers in Brazil have rid the world of 99% of the climate hippocrites? There’s an extremely good chance that it would have.

More Politics

The Prevent scheme, which is supposed to clamp down on extremists in the bud, is getting a booting for concentrating on extreme-Right fantasies instead of Islamist extremism.
    Politicized officials who are trying to avoid being called rachelist by nasty people are responsible for this.

No secret on The Island of Strangers

Why isn’t the Bank of England cutting its base rate? Because the Fantasist of the Exchequer is stoking inflation with her tax grabs and making sure it can’t sink to the BoE target of 2%. Simple.

Expression of repression

Iran is looking for a place in the Guinness Book of Records as the nose-job capital of the world. Having a bandaged conk is a status symbol there, especially for women who are obliged to shroud their body leaving just the face exposed.
    Having had a nose-job whether you needed it or not is a sign that you have pots of money. And, no doubt, there are Nose Police who slap huge penalties on those who display bandages without having had anything done under them.

Not terribly

Are we reassured by Serbia Smarmer assuring us that his team at Downing Street is ‘united’ in a toxic culture?

An argument that doesn’t work

Critics of Reform UK are saying that the party doesn’t have the experience in its ranks to form a government or be the official Opposition. But so what?
    The Labour party has spent 16 months demonstrating its lack of competence and it clearly came to power without a plan or a sense of direction. [one of use to the country, that is]
    Just the same story as the critics are yelling about Reform. Which invites us to accept that Uselessness is the New Normal.

Absolute Wisdom

 ● Logic dictates that if you have no standards at all then you can’t have double standards as twice nothing is still nothing.

What they won’t tell us

● Should the BierBC chairman be sacked for not sacking Davie and Turness, the Fake News Two, before they resigned?
● Do resident doctors have to live at a hospital to avoid being fined under the Trades Descriptions Act?
● Why isn’t the boss of Ofcom getting the boot for allowing the BierBC get away with its fake news and biases for . . .  ever?
● And for claiming joining together two parts of a Trump speech made an hour apart on the occasion was ‘inadvertent’ rather than malicious?
● And for ignoring the Prescott Report on BierBC scandals for months?

No relief here

The police in Scotland are following the lead of their counterparts in Wales, who are using drones to hung down and arrest criminals and teenage gangsters who use e-bikes and e-scooters.
    No danger of this happening in England, where the Labour lot is trying to reduce the voting age to include all teenagers, the criminals included.

The fist in your pocket

The Grabbing Doctors will be at it again for five days – going out on strike and to hell with the customers. Looks like they expect another 30% pay rise over the next 3 years and they think a Labour government will be mug enough to hand it over.

Dumping the blame where it belongs

Was the licence to spread fake news; the one used so vigorously by the BierBC, granted by Thievin Reeves? Has our Fantasist of the Exchequer’s steady output of lies with no danger of the sack convinced the BierBC’s bosses that truth no longer matters?
    Certainly looks like it.
p.s. Has Thievin given up trying or was she always not bovvered about doing a proper job?

The select few

Royals only on the BierBC lunchtime news on Armistice Day. Betraying Labour politicians were kept off the screen whilst the sacrifices of members of the Armed Services were remembered.
    No wonder some veterans are now asking if those sacrifices were worth it, given the state of the country today and a government eager to let the IRA rewrite history.

The medium’s message

“The BierBC must fight to be allowed to continue to broadcast fake news.” Is that what we’re now being told?

What they do

Hammy Lammy, or maybe Ludicrous Lammy, is getting a booting for trying to hide another prison escape scandal and a Labour scam for reducing prison numbers.
    The scam involves putting dangerous criminals in an open prison and doing a cover-up when they walk out.

Land-scar

The alleged Education Sec. is to abolish Tory changes that raised teaching standards. She plans to discard reading, writing and arithemtic in favour of Mickey Mouse subjects, teaching kids to parrot climate criminal garbage and the Labour party’s Diversity, Inversion and Exclusion agenda. Wunderbar.
    “Creating a landmark in the same sense that a bomb crater is one,” is a good description of what she’s doing.

Today’s Warning

What’s the next way to extract cash from motorists? A fine for driving whilst being impaired by being over some arbitrary caffeine limit due to drinking too much tea and/or coffee.
    All that’s needed to get the scam in service is a way of doing a quick roadside test on motorists so that the cash machine can gobble up more of it.

Stuff Happens

● Another Labour world record is the fall of productivity in the public-sector thanks to splurges in unearned pay and state spending.
● The Fantasist of the Exchequer is being credited with an unlimited capacity for FK-ing up the economy and that’s why everyone with portable cash is getting the hell out of the UK.
● Waving a huge knife around in a Peterborough barber shop is ‘recorded’ by the local police and ignored in the same way as a non-crime, non-event.
● Protected rain forest can be hacked down to create what is claimed to be a ‘sustainable’ motorway to a COP-out venue.
● It is now clear that Labour’s 2024 general election win was a landslide in the Aberfan sense.
● Pundits are claiming that Serbia Smarmer is a dead man walking which, when you think about it, is quite some feat for a deadleg.
● The only thing to be settled now is how crooked the deadleg who takes over from Serbia will be.

Another Bier Betrayal

24 ex-members of the SAS have been threatened with murder charges 38 years after ambushing an IRA attack on an isolated police station in Loughgall with a 400 lb bomb.
    Any enemy of the UK is Labour’s friend?
    Any action taken against an enemy of the UK is an abuse of their ’uman bluddy rights? Only a Labour lawyer could come up with a perversion of justice like this.

Official

What looks suspiciously like an act of deliberate criminal libel by  the BierBC is just an error of judgement and nothing to get excited about.

Foreigners, eh!

If you’re a former president of France and you’re sentenced to five years in gaol for corruption, how long do you actually spend behind bars?
    20 days.

Just Noise

No wonder they’re called Democraps. There’s no chance of Prince Andrew going to the US to be questioned by them; he’s probably had his passport confiscated along with all the other stuff. But still the attention-seekers sent him a letter to give themselves some publicity. Prethetic.

It’s all over in the chilly West, too

The BC Lions were in Susquatchewan, where the RoughRiders scored first with a rouge from a punt. All defence until well into Q2. BC reached the RR 4, Rourke faked a pass then ran the ball into the end zone himself, 7-1 after 11 minutes. The RR were held to a FG as half-time loomed, 7-4.
    Red zone for the Riders in Q3, TD after 5 minutes, 7-11. Feels like -13 deg.C, according to an on-screen caption. The Riders got close but fumbled the ball away. Only for BC to lose it when they were close to scoring. FG for the RR, 7-14.
    Scoring range for BC in Q3, on to a TD, 14-all. Rourke hit the RR end zone again! 21-14. Just a FG in reply for the Riders but they were at the BC 3 with 14 seconds left. Touchdown! 24-21 final.

And so it ends in the East

For the Alouettes or the TigerCats, in Hamilton. Lots of defence in Q1. The Cats were stopped when getting close by a pick after a minute of Q2. The Als were 2 and gone, punt from the end zone. Bomb pass, DPI by the Cats, first score to the Als, a FG after 7 minutes.
    More defence. A punt return left the Cats in scoring range at the MTL 35, back to the 47 on penalties. Held to a FG in the last minute of the half, which left time for another by the Als, 6-3 at half-time.
    The Als found the Hamilton end zone after 5 minutes of Q3, 13-3. The Cats got to & goal, on to a TD. They stopped the Als with a pick. Flags everywhere. Punt.
    A big gain by the Als to start Q4, on to & goal, Alexander mugged, FG, 16-10. The Cats kicked a long FG half-way through the final quarter. They got to scoring range again, FG, 16-all. The Als were stopped at the TC 36, FG, 19-16 walk-off win!

Just cosmetic surgery

“Fake news scandal” claimed the heads of the BierBC’s boss and the news CEO. No doubt both will ride off into the sunset with their pockets bulging.
    No doubt Brexit rather than far-Left lunacy will get the blame. And a polarized world. And no doubt the replacements will be appointed from the same tainted gene pool. And we’ll continue to be told that men can get pregnant.

The Art of Betrayal

Is Thievin Reeves talking up a £70 billion tax grab in her budget expecting everyone to be grateful when it turns out to be only £40 billion, like last year’s grab?

Even more of it

Campaigners in Scotland want kids to start school at seven instead of five. Could this be a sneaky way of encouraging more parents to potty-train their offspring before they start school?

Bonfire extra

November started on a Friday. We had fireworks going off around us on that day, on Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday (the actual Bonfire Night), Thursday, Friday and lots last night.
    Will we be getting a bonus second Firework Sunday tonight? I’m not betting against it.

Old reliable

When it comes to dishonesty and incompetence, the Labour party has been found to have a rating of ‘thoroughly’.
    No one surprised.

Bonfire night on any night

Fires caused by solar panels and their lithium batteries have increased by 60% in the last 2 years. Which is not good news for someone living in a panel-less semi attached to a neighbour with solar panels on their roof.
    Edstone Gaslighter’s Nerd Zero scam is getting the blame. It is also getting the blame for costing everyone £500 per year in subsidies to energy companies instead of cutting everyone’s bill by Edstone’s £300.

More of it

Rugby in England is no longer allowed to have a ‘man of the match’, even if the teams playing are all male. It’s all part of the wonk campaign of infusion and jellification, which has seen the Royal Yachting Association attempt to ban ‘Man overboard!’.
    Presumably, in case those capable of attempting a rescue find the term so offensive that they chose not to get involved.

No one else to blame

Newham College @ Cambridge U. faces cancellation of its women’s college status due to a policy of admitting men who claim to be women. Will the various bodies receiving complaints such as the Equalities & ’Uman bluddy Rights Commission do anything useful such as giving a Wham! to Newham?
    Optimism is in very short supply.

Nett Zero Communication

The attacks on Reform UK MP S. Pochin have served a useful purpose. When you see a non-Euron face in a TV advert, you know now that “They’re not talking to me.” Or even: “They’re choosing not to talk to me.”
    Which is okay aslong as I’m not expected to buy whatever is on offer.

Dump blame where it belongs

Is Wandsworth prison to blame for not hanging on to a fraudster after the court staff told the prison he’d been given a suspended sentence? Of course, not.
    Is the Labour government to blame if, as Hammy Lammy sez, it inherited a broken system from the Tories but did nothing to fix it during 16 months in office? Of course.
    Is Labour to blame for deliberately letting thousands of crims avoid going to gaol next year? Of course.

If only

Cancelling our presence in the Europeon Court of Inhuman Bluddy Rights would let us export10,000 foreign criminals and leave plenty of room in gaols for the Britisch criminals who are being allowed to get away with it or getting out early.
    Not that a Labour government after the criminal vote is likely to do the country this favour.

Strange goings on

If you’re looking for some really gullible jurors, try Salisbury. A panel there decided that demented Just Stoppers have a ’uman bluddy right to deface the monument at Stonehenge with their orange brew. In fact, the attention-seekers didn’t even have to pay for cleaning up their vandalism.

Get out of that!

President Trump has done a good job of upsetting the regime in South Africa by giving priority to refugees from the white genocide there; a product of discrimination against Afrikaners and a huge crime rate.

No-win situation

The BierBC is getting a booting for pushing the news agenda of the Hamas about the Gaza situation. Naturally, no mention is made by the booters of the fact that Israel won’t let reporters into the territory to see what’s really going on.
p.s. Did Wandsworth gaol really release two sex criminals by mistake or is that just another bit of BierBC fake news?

Today’s questions

A couple of billion of the Reeves £73 billion Brown Hole is due to tourists being discouraged by the cancellation of duty-free buys. But will Thievin cancel the tourist tax? Or will she double it to do even more damage to the economy?
● Southwark council spent a fortune advertising its rental licence scam. If Thievin wasn’t aware of the need for a licence, does that set up the excuse that she’s abandoned the area of the family home?
● Will she get away with dumping the blame on her husband, an alleged Treasury high-flier from the Gordon F. Broon era?

A ton of truth

It doesn’t really matter if someone is this government’s No. 1 Scumbag, Scumbag No. 2 or Scumbag No. 3. In the final analysis, they’re all scumbags.

Pushing all the buttons

Brazil is getting pats on the back for hippocrisy at a world-beating level. It demolished a strip of its ‘vital’ rain forest to build a motorway to the totally unnecessary site of its COP-out climate criminal conference and it’s drilling all over the place for supplies of oil and gas.
    Pragmatic, or what?
● China, India and the US, the major producers of the carbon dioxide which the climate scammers rely on, will be ignoring this COP-out, as usual.

When numbers don’t matter

In the 2024/25 accounting period, twice as many men as women were murdered in Scotland. But none of the politicians has anything to say about this particular lack of equality.

Today’s Thought

The Labour party now has a solid reputation for lying. So if a government minister tells us we can’t trust a word Reform says, does that mean she’s lying and we can trust what Reform sez?

Pull the other one

Is Parliamentary time so precious that it can’t be ‘wasted’ on humiliating Prince Andrew? The shenannygoats that Smarmer’s Army gets up to there indicate that the reverse is true.
    And taking a pop at Prince Andrew would have taken time away from Labour’s efforts to ruin the economy, but we can’t have that!

Unethical evasions

The BierBC is getting a booting from an ethics advisor for censoring news in areas like the war in Gaza to pretend nothing is happening and joining together bitz of separate speeches by President Trump to create the impression that he was to blame for the 2001 Capitol Hill riot.
    The BierBC is doing its best to shrug off this inconvenience.

No escape

Friday, Saturday, Sunday then Wednesday the 5th (yesterday) – the fourth fireworks night. Draw the curtains and turn up the TV sound so that the Mansion Cat doesn’t jump every time there’s a bang outdoors.

Foot-shot

Having demonized Prince Andrew with vigour, Royal correspondents are now worried about their career. If the Monarchy calls it a day, that’s their job gone!

Hang on to your hats!!!

Crumbs! That’s something to fry the brains of any pathetic gits who survived the run of Charlie’s Angels – The A-Team on Legend after The Fall Guy came to an end. Starting off with an episode full of Mexican bandit scumbags. A real wonk-waster.

One step forward . . . to disaster

Giving new bin lorries the power to compress their load more has created an Achilles Heel. Five of them have caught fire in the Glasgow area due to lithium batteries in discarded gadgets being damaged. The batteries in vapes are getting most of the blame.

No, thanks

Whose idea was it for 4.30 p.m. to be the time when the world sescends into darkness? A Beery Smarmer would blame Brexit but it’s dreadful enuff to be a 100% Labour idea.

All together now

Every Labour minister is getting in on the act of predicting tax rises in the Budget, and they are all telling the same story. An incompetent Fantasist of the Exchequer has caused more scarring of the economy than anyone thought possible. Thus the government needs to grab even more cash to buy the support of the trade unions, etc.
    The attempts to blame the grab on Brexit, the Tories and the partial restoration of the pensioner WFA just underlines the eternal gap between Labour and the truth.
● Why is Southwark council not sticking a fine on Thievin for breaking the law? A special tier for Labour politicians?
● Will there be a BBC investigation of her shenannygoats? Joke.

Loot leverage

The banks are trying play the ‘devastate the economy’ card to avoid paying cash to the motorists they swindled with car finance scams. Have they no shame? Certainly no more than the average politician.

Wheels come off

Research in the good old US of A has found that electric vehicles are far from green. Building them and making the batteries produces lotz more carbon dioxide than for conventional cars. And if there’s no reliable chain of recharging points, they are a lot of a dead loss.
    And then there’s all the tyre bitz bashed off by a much heavier EV polluting the environment that way.

Knotted numbers

Can we believe an Energy Dept. survey which claims that only 69% of the population think Edstone Gaslighter’s Nerd Zero scam will make their living expenses zoom up?
    Make that 93% to get near the truth. And the same for those who think Edstone’s £300 power bill reduction is just another myth.
● Beer Smarmer’s official approval rating of -51 is a fake. It’s really -58. But who expects anything like the truth from Labour?

Motability mashed

Bad news for the freeloaders if Reform UK gets in. No more Beemers and Ferrari Beasta Rossos. Back to something like the good old 1960s 3-wheelers and, let us hope, back to the rules from the good old days to save even more cash by eliminating the trivial scroungers.

Unchanged spots

Does a recycled lie have more credibility than a new one? Nope, it just establishes a pattern of dishonesty. Our wonderful Fantasist of the Excashmachine claimed that last year’s tax grab was a one-off. Telling us the same about this year’s tax grab leaves everyone expecting the same from whoever’s in the job next year. And every year until Reform take over.

Wot Labour Does

The only credit our wonderful government is getting at the moment is for creating a slump the size of the one experienced at the height of the Chinese plague pandemic without the inconvenience to the customers of a lethal virus.
    Just lethal anti-business and anti-growth policies instead.

Another swindle

Will putting economic migrants in ex-military bases save the taxpayer money?
    Not with a Smarmer-led Labour government. An official spokes insisted that the public want to see migrant hotels closed. Which is being interpreted by those in the know as the government preparing a licence to blow vast amounts of our money unaccountably.

Today’s Question

Are resident doctors required to live on the hospital premises in order to avoid a fine under the Trades Descriptions Act?

War without end

Israel’s PM is doing his best to keep the war in Gaza going to avoid being dragged into court on corruption charges. Israel bombs Gaza, the Hamas refuse to hand over hostage remains they have been unable to find due to the vast amount of rubble. And so it goes on.
    US VP Jady Vance described the situation as a cease-fire with skirmishes. And more dead Arabs, he failed to add.

Skin cells and diffusion

Researchers at the university in Boulder, Colorado have used the work of 20th century mathematicians in a theory for how animals acquire stripes and spots. Does that mean a flood of A.I ‘art’ built using the new theory is just down the road?

Official

Trying to murder around a dozen people on a train with a knife isn’t terrorism, say to the railway police.
    Which makes it what? Just normal daily life in Labour’s non-crime, non-event Britain?

Dimensional puzzle

A Daily Disaster reader noticed that a China spy candidate was described as having a suitcase ‘full of cash’ when busted. “Was it in £1 coins?” the reader asked as the amount was just £4,000.
    Or, I wondered, was the suitcase just wallet-size for easy concealment of 80 x £50 notes?

Room to reject

The big advantage of Reform UK winning big has been shown in Kent, where the party took 57 of 81 seats in the May county council election.
    This has allowed Reform to expel 5 members for being below the required standard and still retain full control.

Unappreciated Abundance

There’s more of it about under Labour, according to the news. Is that a cause for a “Hooray!”? Not if the ‘it’ is cases of winter flu.

Hippocrisy without end

It’s the Labour freebie culture. The rules don’t apply to them. They don’t have to pay for anything. They can make a noise about selective licenses in their own constituency and ignore it when they make money out of renting their distant home whilst living at the taxpayer’s expense.
    Not so much double standards as no standards at all in their case.
    Of course, charging £900 for a licence is a typical local authority scam. But that would be no excuse for someone who thinks it’s a great idea if she were a Tory.
    But Serbia Smarmer has consulted Sir Alaspoor Yorick, his ethics advisor, who didn’t tell him that anyone had done wrong. Something else to blame on Brexit?
    “She knew, she knew,
    “But what did she do?
    “She lied.”

Today’s Puzzle

I recently watched again the program about the making of the classic Meatloaf album Bat Out Of Hell on Sky Arts.
     I’m now starting to wonder what a bat would be doing in Hell in the first place. And also how it would be able to get out of it at a high rate of knots.

A song for Reeves

    “When the Budget’s over,
    “Turn out the lights,
    “Turn out the lights.”**
You won’t be able to afford to keep them on.
** sung to the tune of When the music’s over by The Doors.

The usual story

UseLEZ Home Office snivel servants and their bosses let hotel sharks hoover up excessive profits for storing bogus asylum seekers. Billions of pounds of our money wasted.
    No sackings anticipated.
    No danger of the Fantasist of the Exchequer slapping an excess profits tax on the sharks to help fill the £73 BILLION Brown Hole in her accounts.
    And no knighthoods and parting pay-offs given to departed  Home Office bosses to be cancelled.

A closer call

 Off to BC Place next for the Stampeders vs the Lions. FG for BC to start the scoring. Lots of defence. A long FG for the Stamps in the 14th minute tied the game.
    A punt gave the Stamps a rouge. BC got close, Charge! for a TD, 4-10. Adams mugged, FG for the Stamps. One for BC in the last minute, 7-13.
    A big scramble run by Rourke in Q3 set up a TD run by him! 7-20. Adams did a bit of running then fired a TD pass. Where’s the kick-off run going? For a BC TD! 14-27. One back at them for Calgary.
    DPI in the BC end zone in Q4, Charge! 27-all, 8 minutes left. BC had to punt with a couple of minutes left but a fumble gave them the ball. FG from Whyte, less than a minute left. Amazing catch by Philpot, FG, 30-all. A pass by Rourke got BC to FG range as time ran out, 30-33 final.

Desperate Tussle!

The Blue Bombers claimed a place in the Eastern semi-final in Montreal, where the Alouettes opened the scoring with a FG. DPI against a bomb pass got the Als close, on to a TD. The Als were back in the end zone for a bomb TD pass as the last minute of Q1 began. 0-17.
    The BB managed a FG in Q2. Another deep pass got the Als close, TD, 30-24. Collards tried a run and lost the ball. A FG try missed for a rouge. One for the BB in the last minute of the half, 6-25.
    DPI at the MA 1 set up a Bomber Charge! for a TD in Q3. A pick set up another BB TD, 54 yards, 20-25. A dodgy fumble by the Als, on to a BB TD, 27-25. That woke the Als up, TD for them.
    The BB kicked a FG early in Q4. The Als stopped their next drive with a fumble recovery. A penalty then a shoving match got the Als into the end zone again. 30-39. FG for the BB. One for the Als in the last minute, 33-42; final after a pick by the Als.

Lost causes

“When you’re far from home . . .” the Garmin ad which has assassinated the elephant on ViewTube starts before being zapped. But how is that relevant to couch potato NFL fans?
    Another cause doomed by the latest estimates is Labour’s claim that it will build 1,500,000 new homes before the end of the millennium. No chance, say the experts, even if Fantasist Reeves is sacked tomorrow.

Make an effort

Let us hope security at the new megamuseum in Egypt is better than at the Louvre!

Fake about fakes?

The Daily Disaster did a ‘zap the fakes’ feature on stuff like Club and Penguin biscuits which no longer have a legally chocolate coating.
    Curiously, Maryland’s so-called chocolate chip cookies got a ‘real but only just rating’ even though they haven’t contained any chocolate chips for a long time. Which rather blows the doors off the whole piece.

Only fair

If London’s Sadgeek mayor insists there are no grooming gangs there, this should always be followed by the rider: “As far as he knows, and the bloke knows nothing.”

Another scam

The reason why Labour has been running down the Armed Services and discouraging recruitment has been revealed. Bogus asylum seekers are to be parked in former military bases instead of hotels to make protesting nearby harder.
    No danger of Beer & Co. doing anything to export the hordes of boguses, though.

Just useless wasting

The Tories planned to put migrants in ex-military bases to save on taxpayers’ money. Labour scrapped the plan without looking in to it because . . . that’s what Labour does ’coz taxpayers’ money doesn’t matter to them?
    And, no doubt, now Labour has been forced to go for the plan, it will suddenly become their idea exclusively.

It’s the same everywhere

It’s rather difficult to have much sympathy for people who choose to live or holiday in areas at risk from violent weather, and places where the regime hasn’t insisted on robust buildings and supplies of essential services.
    But it is a fact universally recognized that politicians are useless, e.g. the ones here who permit housing estates to be build on known flood plains.

More Worse

China ally Serbia Smarmer has been trying to suppress the news that his mates are putting spyware on fishing boats operating near the UK/US air base on Diego Garcia, which was shamefully handed to Mauritius by Lord Squirmer and Smarmer.
    The Foreign Office, curiously has failed to jump to the defence of the ally.

Not trying?

What a very Labour day this is. It doesn’t know whether to sun or shower, so it tries to do both and makes a bog of each of them.

Change under Labour

1. Always for the worse.
2. You don’t get any when you go shopping.
3. A Chancellor who doesn’t think the laws on renting properties apply to her. Will she get the boot from Serbia Smarmer? He’ll just say he was joking when he pronounced that law makers can’t be law breakers and claim that the tag line: “unless they are Labour” was missed off the quote.
4. The Squirmer thinks Labour stooges collapsing the China spy prosecution is no big deal.
5. The number of China spy deliberate lies told by Smarmer, according to those who do counts of these things.

Butt out, Bozo!

It was nice to see rent-a-gob Wee Streeting getting a booting for having a go at Reform MP Sarah Pochin for daring to notice that TV adverts are short of white faces.
    Okay, Wee was following Labour’s Diversity, Inversion and Exclusion agenda, but that’s no excuse if DIE leads to the death of good sense, honesty and the Britisch way of life.

Going through the motions

Three suspected spies for Putinstan were arrested in London last week. They could expect to be released after a token period of messing about following a declaration by a Labour stooge that Putinstan, like China, is not our enemy.

Small mystery

A story about Hamas freed by the Israelis under the Trump Gaza deal living in a luxury hotel in Egypt doesn’t quite get to the point.
    The Daily Disaster report said non-terrorist tourists staying at the 5-star hotel were ‘unaware of the danger’.
    Would that be of the danger of becoming collateral damage if the Israelis bomb the hotel now that the D.D. has given away its location?
UPDATE: They’ve been moved to somewhere secret.

Informality rules

Do Brits really enjoy eating meals on the sofa, as one of them there surveys would have us believe? Or is it just convenient place to nosh if there’s just you and what used to be a family dining table has been reduced to a minimum size to become a home for a laptop and a sleeping cat?

Sneaky

It has been suggested that the release of a foreign sex criminal from gaol instead of to an export centre was due to human error. Is that a crafty Labour move toward A.I and eliminating people?

Steer clear!

Butts of Malmsey wine sound like something Prince Andrew needs to steer clear of to avoid the fictional fate of the sometime Duke of Clarence. Sounds like a good thing, however, to happen to the cashinski family which the allegator Virginia Roberts rejected.

Just say No!

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with making choices. Being indiscriminate is an agenda which evil people are trying to impose on us for their own devious purposes. And financial advantage in most cases.

Riotland

The police in the Irish Republic are getting to use their brand new water cannons on rioters from all over the country. The focus is a former hotel, which houses bogus asylum seekers and sex criminals as well as Ukrainian refugees.
    No improvement is expected now that the country has a new far-Left, Corbynsteiner president.

The way things are

“The man is not fit to be a prince,” yells a newspaper columnist. So what? Serbia Smarmer is not fit to be a Prime Fantasist and the same goes for most of his ministers, jobwise. But nothing’s going to be done about it.

EFU Inaction

The Smarmer crusade to smash the people-smuggling gangs has run into a coalition of the Can’t Be Arsed in France and Germany. The Krauts are letting the bad guys pass boats to France and the Frogs are not intercepting them before they can load up.

Unmoved

Before we get excited about fusion power solving all our energy problems, I’ve been told by someone who was around at the time that it was supposed to happen in the 1970s and make electricity dirt cheap.
    That turned out to be another myth; like Edstone Milipede’s Nett Zero scam and all those Chinbese turbine blades, which will be worn out and unrecyclable in 25 years’ time.

Pests

Richmond-upon-Thames council is in line for a Worst In The World nomination for trying, and failing, to fine a woman £150 for pouring some coffee down a drain to avoid spilling it during a bus journey.
    She was harassed by a gang of three council jobsworths with nothing useful to do. And she probably has a great case for taking the lot of them to court for damaging her mental ’elf.

Just clueless

Beer Smarmer is getting another booting for appointing a Cabinet Secretary who, instead of getting things done, wants to do a wide-ranging review to boot decisions into the 2080s.
    Why? Because Beer has no agenda and no idea what needs to be done, and he’s unable to give his Cabinet Secretary a mission to embark on.

Another justice tier

If the Prime Fantasist can give an executive pardon to the Fantasist of the Exchequer for breaking the law over renting out a property, where’s the cut-off? Could a Minister involved in grooming ganging also get away with it?

Race card played again

If he had any credibility left, London’s Sadgeek cosmetic mayor has shed it. He’s well embedded in the Labour Fantasists’ Club with his claim that grooming gangs don’t operate in the capital.

Not us, Gov!

Another booting is going to the Home Office from the police chiefs for England and Wales. After embracing recording non-crime non-events as an alternative to real police work, they are now pretending they are the government’s fault and the scam needs to be abolished.

First prize for daftness

It has been revealed that the ‘one out, one back in again’ bogus asylum seeker was claiming that France is unsafe because the smuggling gangs are after him. That’s the same mobsters who gave him a ride back to the UK on another of their boats.
    He was also claiming to be broke. Apart from having the cash to pay for his second cross-Channel ride, of course. Being given a story like that to tell just shows how much contempt the far-Left scum-import supporters have for the rest of us.

Attention! It’s official!

Former Foreign Sec. Dippy Dave has been recast. In his current role of Justice Sec., he is to be known as Hammy Lammy as a result of his dreadful acting in the Commons when questioned about the release from gaol of a now exported Ethiopian sex criminal. Being unable to counterfeit real emotion seems to be a trademark of Smarmer’s Army – most particularly in the case of the wooden leader.
    According to the script offered by the Trivial Democraps, the criminal escaped from HMP Chelmsford, he wasn’t released by useless snivel servants.

Less than Zero

Edstone Milipede is getting a well-deserved booting for wasting millions of pounds of taxpayers’ dosh on advertising heat pumps which don’t heat whilst making the electricity that runs them unaffordable.

Credibility outage

The Home Office was a load of rubbish when New Labour was in government, the current Home Sec. has admitted. And it’s still a load of rubbish. And she made the obligatory attempt to stick the blame on the Tories and Brexit.
    She then proceeded to attract derision by going on to claim that Smarmer’s one-out, one-in, one-back-in deal with the French is historic rather than hysterical. 60,000 in, 41 out officially; but how many less than that really?

Also off the ball

Without the Prince Andrew distraction, where would we be? In the streets rampaging in protest against a government which has dropped the country up to its eyebrows in debt? And which keeps digging the hole deeper to keep taxpayers’ cash flowing to its friends and funders.

Stuck in a rut

Conservative policies got inflation to 1.7% last October, the month of the first Reeves budget. A year later, she has managed to double inflation and add a bonus 0.4% to get it up to 3.8%.
    She is reported to be ‘not satisfied’ with this number. Which means what? Another doubling plus bonus by this time next year? That Reeves has crawled up the horse’s doover and she is now getting on with taxing the beast to death from within?

Ignore the lack of science

Is the 185 mph Caribbean hurricane a consequence of climate change? As the mechanism of hurricane formation and progress has not yet been nailed down, the climate criminals are jumping in with both feet and both hands held out for cash.

Zapping as they go

Putin the Poisoner is attempting to become Putin the Cancer Killer with a nuclear-powered cruise missile which squirts out a radioactive exhaust.
    One of the missles is claimed to have created a pollution track 8,700 miles long in a test last week.

Just as it is

Is being called a disgrace by Health Sec. Wee Streeting a career-shatterer? Not if Reform UK MP S. Pochin was pointing out that TV adverts are overloaded with Afrons and Asians, which indicates that the companies making them don’t think white Eurons have enuff cash to be worth attracting.

Rotten roads

Despite all the hysteria over world record temperatures and a lack of rain, those responsible for keeping roads in good repair are not doing their job.
    Vehicle damage due to potholes is up 25% this summer. This has cost motorists and estimated £5.2 BILLION for repairs. Which puts whinges about Prince Andrew’s finances in their proper perspective.

Safeguarding abandoned

The government seems to have done a good job of shifting the focus of the inquiry into the Pakistani grooming gangs from the perpetrators to shifty government ministers.
    Some sort of last-ditch attempt to retain Moslem votes after the Smarmer smears directed at the people who wanted a proper inquiry and the endless cover-ups by Establishment figures?

Pull the trigger!

What the Legend channel should tell its visitors is that what’s on offer next was routine evening TV viewing in the good old days before New Labour came along and wrecked everything. And if you can’t watch the next show without throwing a wobbly, then you are a pathetic git and a total waste of space.

Take your pick

200 mph winds or 175 mph or less? 40 inches of rain or up to 40? Depends how alarmist you want to be about the Caribbean hurricane, which is being billed as the most dangerous since records began last week.
    Not much chance of any effective aid for Jamaica with Pixie Balls ‘in charge’ at the F.O.

Inventive, or what!

A Christian charity is being outed for dunking illegal entrants in a bath tub so that they can pretend to have shed Islam in favour of Christianity as an asylum claim dodge.

Immoral and shameless

Is there any gang of terrorists Labour won’t suck up to? Free pardons for the IRA, prosecutions for the soldiers sent to fight them. And cash shoved into the pockets of lawyers until a judge with working brain cells calls a halt to the charade.
    There’s no danger of lawyers Serbia Smarmer and Lord Squirmer hanging their heads in shame, though.

WWW not woke enough!

Monday’s big internet switch-off is being blamed on a lack of diversity – too few internet giants in the US allowed to handle too much traffic.
    “Too few drainpipes for the masses of rats to climb,” in the words of one expert.

Selective Ire

How curious that the far-Left in Parliament are yelling for a chance to have a go at Prince Andrew and the Mandelsleaze over their Epstein connections but not a word about tony b. liar.

Hippocrites en masse

Bier Smarmer is so desperate to get away from questions about his lies and evasions; and to cop for some more duty free; that he has done another U-turn and he’s off to Brazil for a COP-out summit.
    Our Prime Fantasist will be doing his climate change saviour act near what was an area of rain forest before the Brazilian government bulldozed it for a motorway to the conference site.
    Fear of losing even more votes to the Greens and Reform UK also played a part in the U-ey.

Diversity disaster

Experts, real and self-appointed, are taking pot-shots at the Louvre following the theft of most of France’s crown jewels.
    The place couldn’t be more mismanaged if Smarmer’s Army and Britain’s snivel service were in charge of it, seems to be the general conclusion.

Why not?

The result of the by-election in Caerphilly shows that the Welsh nationalists are on course to a stonking majority at the next general election with Reform UK as a token opposition and the other parties reduced to a couple or three seats.
    There’s nowt like a good spot of speculation based on dodgy data for stirring the pot.

Institutionally Useless

The Tory leader proclaimed that the missing sex maniac migrant scandal; the guy was let out of gaol instead of deported; “beggars belief”. She won’t be able to say that again in a hurry now that Smarmer’s Army has lowered its level of competence even further below ground level.
    From now on, if something isn’t about to go wrong, Labour will make it go wrong.

Shock horror!

The gang running McVitie’s biscuits have removed so much cocoa from the recipe for Club and Penguin biscuits that they now have to be described as having a chocolate-flavoured coating. So that’s them off my shopping list.

More wonkism

A theatre in Cheltenham is putting trigger warnings on plays to make theatres ‘accessible to all’. Does that include the people who are scared off by the trigger warnings? And sensible people who steer clear of centres of wonkism?

Today’s Counterblasts

1. “High five!” she said.
    “Okay, where are the other three?” I countered.
2. They were going to give me the Chinese water torture but help arrived before they could track down a source of Chinese water.
3. Labour’s ineptitude, not Brexit, is collapsing the Britisch economy and the identity of the prime collapser is a toss-up between the Prime Fantasist and the Fantasist of the Exchequer.
4. The hurricane ravaging the Caribbean is being seen as divine retribution on the slavery reparations scroungers.

How limp

County councils everywhere are issuing wonk advice to teachers telling them to stop asking kids questions. Why? ’Coz it makes the little stinkers anxious and they bunk off school because of it!
    And it also leaves them unprepared for real life, education experts are pointing out. But the wonks are not listening, of course.

Something we’re missing

There’s an option given to Skip the second of a pair of adverts in a set of NFL hilites on ViewTube. But what we really, really need is an option to Nuke!! that bloody elephant whenever it appears. Or even something much worse!

Done now

Finally, the BC Lions @ the RoughRiders in Vancouver. 10 wins vs 12 wins. The Lions from their 47, TD from the first play! The PAT kick missed. Red zone for the Riders, TD, 6-7. The Lions kicked a FG. One for the RR in Q2.
    A punt gave the Lions a route and 10-all. Charge! from the BC 1, TD for the RR, 10-18. A pick stopped BC. A pick the other way, FG for BC. The Riders looked set to score again but fumbled the ball away.
    The BC opener of Q3 was fumbled away at the goal line and returned for a TD!?! Nope. The Lions came back for a TD and a 19-18 lead. A FG put the Riders ahead in Q4. Red zone, TD for BC, +2, 27-21. 3+ minutes left. No more scoring.

Another Labour shambles

How was a foreign sex offender released from prison with £76 pocket money instead of being moved to an export centre? Now that he’s been caught; at great expense to the taxpayer; he will be deported.
    Same for the bozos who let it happen? Please?
    And why was Health Sec. Wee Streeting doing the government’s alibis instead of the alleged Justice Sec.? And how soon before the criminal is back here again – on a big boat, this time?

Brain fade?

Why would someone who has just been voted the next president of their country offer thanks to everyone, including those who didn’t vote for her? Sarcasm? Or just routine political BS?

Nearly done

The 10-wins Alouettes played their last regular season match in 9-wins Winnipeg in beautiful weather. The Blue Bombers started with a FG then recovered a fumble. The Als picked a pass to their end zone! They kicked a FG in Q2.
    A rouge for the Als wasn’t shown. The BB recovered another fumble with about a minute left. Charge! for a 3rd down goal and 4-13.
    FG for the Als in Q3. A long try by the BB after a sack hit the post. Then the Als recovered a fumble. FG in Q4. A long run, just a FG for the BB, 10-16. The Als went out on downs at their 5!  Another FG for the BB with a minute left, 10-19 final.

Blame deflection

“Asylum Hotels’ Absentee Owners” yelled the Sunday Post. But if there was no legal requirement for the owner to live next to their business, or even in the same country, what’s the beef?
    Other than that some people are making loads of dosh out of an inept Labour government.
    “It’s a financial and moral scandal,” said an MSP.
    Wrong. Morals don’t apply to Smarmer’s Army. Or the SNP, the member’s party, according to its rivals.

Rare event

There was a feature in the paper about a sumo tournament that was held in London last week. I’ve been told this ultra-Japanese sport was on Channel 4 in the 1990s.
    This was back in the era of the ginormous Hawaiian Dump Truck, Chiyonofuji, a.k.a. the Wolf, and the bad boy Futahaguro, who became a yokozuna grand champion on the strength to second place in 6 tournaments rather than ever winning one, had a bust-up with his manager and switched to the unreal world of TV wrestling.
    These days, sumo is all over the internet. Not that it’s ever occurred to me to look for it.

Oh, well

The 10-win Stampeders went to 7-win Edmonton and started with a TD. The Antlers had a FG try blocked. Almost a TD in Q2 for the Stamps, just a FG and 10-0.
    A punt put the Stamps at their 1, nae bother, up the field to a FG and 13-0. Hooray! A TD dash by the Ants. Cancelled. Booo! Another FG for the Stamps.
    A 51-yard FG gave the Antlers their first points. One for the Stamps. Red zone for the Ants, TD, 19-10. A punt for a rouge by the Stamps in Q4. One by the Ants blocked, Calgary at their 6, no cigar! The Stamps went out on downs, 20-10 final

Not a huge problem

We’re supposed to get exercised over the number of drug deaths cause mainly by opiates, natural and synthetic. But it’s difficult if the record of deaths is just 11% of the total of boat people arrivals.
    The government answer is shooting galleries for addicts like the one in Glasgow. Which has sent 0.000% of its customers to a rehab centre.

Form will tell

It’s week 21 and the end of the regular season, and the 4-win Ottawa RedBlacks took a trip over to 10-wins Hamilton, who scored first and added a FG from a pick. Another FG put them 0-13 up.
    Another pick by the TiCats was fumbled away in the red zone in Q2. On to & goal and a TD. A FG put the Cats 7-16 up. Add on a TD with a minute to go. And a FG at 0:00 and 7-26.
    Another FG for the Cats in Q3. One by the RBs missed for a rouge. Helped by a penalty on the Cats, the RBs scored a TD.  Another FG for the Cats, 15-32. And again. A pick in the last minute sealed the TiCat win.

Small bite-back

More bad news for Ferrari – the Fantasist is making noises about not letting benefits claimants using the Motability scam to pick a luxury car as their ride. Bad news also for the likes of Mercedes and BMW.
    Worried about a Labour back-bench revolt, however, the Fantasist will still let people with conditions such as constipation, tennis elbow and mental elfery have a ride on the taxpayer.

No warning needed

The Met Office’s winter storm B turned out to be a damp squib, as far as we were concerned. Not that we’re complaining!
    Sunny spells on both Thursday and Friday and the Mansion cat had trips to the great outdoors untroubled by 75 mph gales and two inches of rain.

Language note

Why isn’t cathodyne the opposite of anodyne?

Exodus consequence

A visible sign of the economic damage done by the Fantasist of the Exchequer is a drop in Ferrari exports to Britain.
    The number of people in the UK rich enough to afford to buy or rent them has decreased dramatically, and Ferrari is trying to prop up the second-hand market by reducing availability to preserve its glossy image.

International Smarmerism

The Organization for Economic Co-operation & Disorganization (foreign) has declared that the word businessman is offensive(!) and should be replaced with businessperson.
    If so, how is Manchester managing to get away with it? And Mandelsleaze?
    That’s the bloke who is still on the Foreign Office payroll despite being sacked from the job as US ambassodor.

Blame the community

The management of a mosque in East London is in trouble for organizing a fun run wonkishly billed as ‘inclusive’ which excludes females over the age of 12.
    As normal, all sorts of excuses and ‘not me, Govs’ are on offer.

Off the ball

Lots of bullet holes in self-important feet over Prince Andrew’s lease. Not to mention a value-for-money argument that can’t be applied to him as long as the government fails to deliver it – e.g. Smarmer and his I.D cards.

Not so grail

A new blood test for cancer debris is being hailed as a holy grail by some as it can spot 62% of people with over 50 types of the disease, even before symptoms show.
    But one expert has rained on the parade somewhat by pointing out that 62% is only fractionally better than tossing a coin.

Being fireproof

Further punitive tax rises would wreck the economy, the bosses of major companies are warning. Thus if Thievin Reeves goes ahead with more tax rises knowing this, could she be liable to a citizen’s arrest as a saboteur?
    Or would she (a) claim that you can’t wreck something that’s already been wrecked? Or (b) dump the blame on some advisor or snivel service stooge?

Check the tiny print

An investigation by the consumer watchdog Which? has found that other supermarkets that claim to price-match Aldi are telling the truth about this.
    But the tin or package often contains less of the main ingredient that what is on offer at the chain run by the heirs of Alfonse the Dinosaur.

See how she looks after us

Our Fantasist of the Exchequer is expected to pretend that she’s doing wonders for the national diet now that her job-cancelling tax rises have forced the closure of 68 Pizza Hut branches and 11 delivery services for fast food.

Cute gimmick

Noted Irish writer O. Wilde has had his British Library reading room card reinstated after 130 years. It was revoked when he was convicted of being a homosexualist.
    Not that the gesture will do him any good as he has been dead for 125 years.

Somewhat pathetic

The gang that robbed the Louvre of Napoleon’s jewels was described as ‘highly organized’. Was that an attempt to excuse the lack of effective security at France’s flagship museum?

When the wheels come off, cheat

Our wonderful government reckons it will build 1.5 million new homes across England by 2029. But a fiddle will be needed to get within miles of the target.
    Taking London as an example, the Sadgeek mayor’s domain is supposed to build 440,000 new homes by the end of this Parliament but it’s on course to build just 34% of the target figure.
    There is talk of shrinking the number of ‘affordables’ required as part of a fiddle. But given the Reeves Recession, who’s going to be in the market for the unaffordable homes that will be on offer?