Worst idea in the world

Has to be a PC with a BLACK case and a BLACK on-switch that’s impossible to find without a torch.

Not fear but indifference

The word that needs to be dumped in the bin for the New Year is transphobia. It is constantly hurled at people who don’t live in fear of those who won’t accept the sex conferred on them by their DNA – hurled quite wrongly.
     What we need is a snappy word for ‘totally uninterested in the transists and their constant attention-seeking’.

No flag this time

Something I didn’t do on Boxing Day was put on a red coat and go riding after some hounds doing a trail hunt.
    Not because I’m against it but because I never learned to ride a horse. I didn’t even go along to the local hunt to throw some rocks at the people who oppose such a harmless pastime because they’re so very sad and hard up for something useful to do.

Cue a virtue flag

I didn’t watch any of the Top 10 TV shows on Xmas Day. The $6 Million Man and some recorded stuff (to skip the ads) were enough for me.

Story of the year

It has to be the one about what looked like orange flames – without any smoke – at the top of Blackpool Tower. But it turned out to be just orange netting flapping about in the current gale.
    Yes, it did look quite convincing as a fire, though.

Interesting question

Where would famous author Jessica Fletcher be if American cops weren’t such idiots?

Typical BBC tripe

Is a TV show an Agatha Christie adaptation if it makes a retired white central character a black diplomat to set up a knocking job on the British Empire and just casually junks the plot of the book that’s supposed to have been adapted?
    This sounds more like intellectual property misconduct which abuses a writer’s good name and reputation for the sake of delivering some petty political garbage.

Good story

On the one hand, there are all these characters demanding that no one be allowed to develop AI systems. On the other, we have politicians cheering them on privately.
    Why? So that they can claim any disastrous gaffes they make when the election campaigning becomes formal are products of deepfake computer systems and nothing to do with them.

Beak Out, pal!

Is it really the job of the Archbishop of Canterbury to poke his nose into American politics on time paid for by us?
    He can do what he likes in his own time. And if he doesn’t like President Trump, maybe he can remember that The Donald is one of his God’s creatures and if he has a problem with that, he needs to take it up with his God rather than moan about it at the people paying his wages.

No win situation

The Inspector of Prisons reckons putting criminals in them is a bad idea as it makes them worse. The government thinks putting shoplifters in gaol is a bad idea as is causes overcrowding, given the sheer numbers of them.
    So they have to be left out ‘in the community’ wearing a tag and still able to be a criminal nuisance.
    It has been suggested that execution or exile is the only way to deal with the situation. Which makes sense. Pensioning off all the existing prison staff quite generously would be a whole lot cheaper than existing ways of dealing with bad hats.

LOUD!

The current storm got really loud on Wednesday night where we are. But a surprising lack of debris from trees in the streets the next day. Maybe the earlier storms have blasted off all the loose bits.

And another

One does get the impression that no human eye scans newspaper copy for obvious blunders. Like the one that turned steakhouse into stea-
khouse in a story about murderous Irish gangsters.

Today’s Tip

If the TV series is on a Sky channel, record the episodes so you can fast forward through the E..N..D..L..E..S..S adverts.
    That way, you don’t lose track of the plot and maybe also the will to live.

Highly specific

Boarding school teacher struck off for having sex with a pupil in a car, the headline yelled.
    Some regulator they have if its rules are specific enough to ban doing it in a car. Okay everywhere else?

Pat on the back?

We have been reminded that the Archbishop of Cantab, the soon to be Sir Welby, described climate change as worse than the Nazis’ Holocaust.
    Which means what?
    If we here in Great Britain are not causing it by filling the atmosphere with carbon dioxide; that’s China & the usual suspects; then we can all bask in a warm glow of virtue?

None at all, man!

If I’d needed a replacement light bulb for the one that croaked on Xmas Day, I’d have been out of luck yesterday. Just the newsagent open locally.
    Everywhere else tightly shuttered, which is taking early closing on a Wednesday to extremes.

Tell us another lie

Can you trust the opinionated? Like the ones who were claiming that footfall in shops on Christmas Eve was down over 20% on last year and blaming it on the cost of living. Not a word about the Sunday trading laws, which are designed to stop people from going shopping, even if the Sunday is Christmas Eve.

Overstated

One of my neighbours mentioned that he wasn’t impressed by an LED bulb that was claimed to be the equivalent of a 100W incandescent bulb.
    In fact, he went so far as to remove it and try an old 60W incandescent bulb instead. Same level light in his living room. Okay for a bedroom, nokay for his living room.

One plus one equals 6.3

It’s all very well for a professor to blame the violent murder of Brianna Ghey on the desensitizing effect of the Dark Web but if the websites there are ‘difficult to find’, as he said, how come a 15-year-old girl got somewhere nasty?
    Bad blood. Plain and simple.

Inferior technology

A present from the Xmas Fairy: as I was reaching for the study light switch at the end of Xmas Day . . . darkness. The bulb had croaked. Made in China, naturally, LED, “lasts up to 10 years”, it said on the box of the replacement.
    Right!
    They might as well put “lasts up to 50 years” as that also includes the year or so’s use I got out of the thing.

Familiar theme

There are daft sciffy films and there’s Supercollider (2013), a load of total disaster nonsense spun around the CERN hadron collider, which confirmed the existence of the Higg’s boson ‘God particle’.
    With one bound, everything was okay again as the script writer had run out of ideas.
    Mind you, the notion that a magnetic pole reversal is a sudden, extinction-causing event is equally daft. Polar Opposites (2008) offered bombing the FK out of Iran as a solution!

But will I remember in 2024?

I seem to have neglected to do anything about Christmas Eve Boxes this year. No point in finding out what they are just now, though. I’ll have forgotten by the time next Xmas comes around.

Disgrace

There is a definite case for slapping stonking fines on church organizations which turn a blind eye to abuse by their priests and even cover it up, as charted in a Sunday Post feature which was a plug for its investigative journalists.
    So how come it never happens?

Scare tactic

“It could cost you £128 to unblock a toilet”, said the ad in a recent paper, which I was scanning for an uncompleted puzzle page. Okay, if you’re daft enough to do something like that, maybe a sharp shock is what you need to tell you it’s a bad idea.

Hello, you aliens!

In the absence of newspapers, I went to my home library to read up on the designs created on the Nazca Plains in Peru, which were charted for years and years by Maria Reiche after the war.
    Why did I do this? To get a clue to the mentality of neighbours who have enormous light shows in their back garden, which much look very impressive from space, just like the Nazca lines, but not as much from ground level.

Progress?

I’ve been wondering if my parents ever had to worry about something as gross as teachers pretending that the sex of someone isn’t determined by their DNA and feeding garbage to their customers.
    There couldn’t possibly have been anything that gross around when I was a kid.

Size Matters

The broadcaster icon Jenni Murray, I read; but not in today’s paper because there ain’t one; used to weigh nearly 2½ times as much as me. Crumbs!
    It’s a wonder she found any time to do anything other than eat to get to that hugeness. She added that a ‘fat is fantastic’ culture is why hospitals are full of obesity-related patients.
    No doubt social media are to blame. And the government, of course. And her fat female doctor. But not the greedy gutters, of course.

The Show must go on

How could GB Views have a Headliners show last night, on Christmas Eve, when no newspapers with headlines are published for them to talk about today, on Christmas Day?
    Cue a load of greatest hits from 2023.

Schmeducation

Sounds like Swindon New Collage is the last place you can trust to educate kids; or one of many such; if a teacher can be marched out and sacked for not going along with the currently fashionable tripe about gender identity & biological sex.
    The trans-enforcers have a hell of a lot to answer for.

Just Despicable

I wonder how many sick Daily Mail readers will spend Xmas wallowing in the Podcasts on Sick Killers that the Mail keeps yelling about?

Seasonal Tripe

According to the BMA, the medical trade union, doctors are striking to save the NHS. Believe that and you’ll believe anything.
    It’s all about sticking their fists deeeper into the taxpayer’s pocket. End of.

Excessively gullible?

We’re invited to believe that the Labour party leader of the moment is a highly intelligent bloke. But if so, why did he think Jeremy Corbyn would make a brilliant prime minister and why does he think that idiot Ed Miliband’s ideas for blowing £28 Billion on greenwash are also brilliant?

Not me, mate!

Do people really get up at 6 a.m. on Christmas Day to watch a TV show? How sad.

Not the done thing

How strange that a lawyer acting for Baroness Mone felt obliged to apologize for passing on information she gave him. Lawyers take the money and have no involvement in the client’s tale other than shaping it to best advantage. That’s their traditional alibi.
    That’s supposed to be why Beer Starmer isn’t apologizing for taking cash to get dangerous criminals out of gaol and back into the community.

Xmas feast

One of my correspondents drew my attention to an interesting idea for the Christmas meal: Yorkshire puddings, some of them stuffed with turkey, some with chips, as the main course then puds filled with trifle or jelly for afters.

Uncancellable!

Oh, dear. The Labour party’s plan to raise £28 Billion by cancelling the non-dom status and taxing them till the pips squealk has been spent 5 times over and counting. The latest way was to use it to fund more evening and weekend GP appointments to clear waiting lists.
    Which ignores the face that non-doms with no incentive to stay here will take themselves and their lovely money elsewhere, leaving Labour with Net Zero to tax.

Very Yellow!

Yesterday’s yellow winds were decidedly noisy. It actually looked like a nice day first thing, with a bit of sun. But the Weather Gods soon put the kybosh on that. Still windy today and more puddles than street in places with all the rain.

Today’s Philosophy Lesson

The simple plug on a chain for a sink is a metaphor for the fragility of human existence.
    Fill the sink and do nothing, and the water will stay there.
    Start sloshing about in the sink and snag the chain, and the plug will leap out of its socket and all the water vanishes.
    Do nothing and all you get is nothing done. Do something and it all goes pear-shaped!

Now, we know

The Labour party’s explanation for not having any policies has turned out to be a reluctance to create hostages to fortune by giving cast-iron pledges which will definitely flop.

Sense not the strong suit

Is there any real point in newspapers printing a photo of the cult escaper Alex Batty when he was 11? He’s a teenager and 17 now, and not that kid any more.
    A picture that gives entirely false information is worth maybe one word; garbage; rather than 1,000 of them.

Actually, there isn’t

Recycling some newspapers, I saw a headline about a climate emergency in a copy of the Sunday Post. Didn’t pause to read the story as it was bound to be rubbish.
    There isn’t a climate emergency in Scotland. That was just the stupid Sturgeon woman doing some attention-seeking, for which she was (and remains) notorious.
    And from the accounts of the SNP’s failures to get anything useful done, as charted by the Post, the government in Scotland is the last bunch you’d turn to to tackle an emergency.

Scrooge was right!

Not buying Xmas presents ensures that you are not bulking up the guess of £1,200,000,000 for the amount blown on unwanted presents during the festive season.
    Not something guaranteed to make the nation’s retailers give a cheer!

Makes a change

The slow news day headline used to be “Small earthquake in Chile, no one dead.”
    Now, it’s “Small volcano erupts in Iceland, no one dead.”
    Wot next?

Good luck to her

It would be great if the new minister for common sense, Esther McVey, can trample on the civil service Blob and slash the amount of taxpayers’ money they waste on wokery.
    2p off the standard rate of income tax is available and not to be sneezed at. And creating a difference between civil servants who are doing a decent job and the Blobists is a great idea!

Just a Thought . . .

But isn’t a transgender schoolgirl a schoolboy substitute?

Also strange

The Welsh Labour leader, who has decided to quit after five inglorious years, is ‘a Titan of politics’, according to Beery Starmer, the Labour party leader. He’s also been calling Wales a blueprint for what the country would look like under a Labour government.
    Cue a whole bunch of U-turns when there’s something else in the news as a distraction?

Very Strange

If China is responsible for a big chunk of the carbon dioxide going into the atmosphere and causing more than its fair share of global warming, how come the north of the country was experiencing temperatures around -40 degrees Centigrade?
    Sounds like they need to build a lot more coal-fired power stations to warm themselves up!

Not fooled

Full marks to the Labour party selection bods @ Brighton Pavilion for not going for a cross-dressing exhibitionist as their candidate for the next general election.

Cash machine

They must be lots of lovely dosh sloshing around at these social media companies if a diversity manager was able to stroll off with four million bucks from scams at FaceBook before anyone noticed.

Well, I never again!

Things they didn’t tell us – from watching the Six Million Dollar Man, I now know that shadows on the Moon are dark green, not inky, total black!

Slackers on the payroll?

If the government’s minions had done due diligence, it would have known that Baroness Mone’s husband was in charge of a potential PPE supplier. Therefore, all the row about her is just a non-story.

Well, I never

Scanned the list of Top 10 shows on BBC 1 this year, didn’t watch any of them. Good taste, or what!

Headline of the Day

“Groan pressure on Israel” – even America is going floppy over the numbers of Palestinians being wiped out in Gaza.

Actor logic

A Scottish actor was claiming in the Sunday Post that AI systems will replace human scriptwriters on cost grounds.
    But if, as he claims, the AI will create middle-of-the-road stuff that isn’t as good, why would anyone go for it?
    And why wait for AIs to be developed when there are already humans who could do inferior scripts more cheaply than a competent scriptwriter?

Totally different

That was an interesting point the American bloke, Louis, made on Headliners on GB Views the other night. The Jewish soldiers who casually killed three people who were taken prisoner by Hamas and moved into Gaza aren’t the same as the Jews who were Holocausted by the Nazis.
    Shooting those prisoners proves they’re a whole lot meaner and nastier.

Winning not on the agenda

Guess what? The latest line on the plan to export unwanted invaders to Rwanda is that it will have no effect on stopping more of them turning up.
    Which means that all the political posturing around the plan is just politicians being pillocks. As usual.

Useless bunch

It has to be time to disband the Arts Council if the looneys running it think it’s a good idea to waste money on teaching people who to unlearn whiteness.
    Just what the bloody hell is wrong with being white, British and in your right mind?
    Where’s the Hamas gang when you need them?

Dodgy reference point

Doctors are claiming that their standard of living has dropped like a stone since 2008. Why pick that year? That’s when Prime Minister Gordon Brown let the banks go bust by failing to regulate them and leaving them in the hands of chumps who couldn’t spot an American “mortgages for people who couldn’t afford them” scam.    
    Which means that everyone else is in the hole in the ground and there’s no justification for letting greedy doctors claw their way out at everyone else’s expense.

Even brighter

If you subtract the coldest temperature that the climate criminals have been able to confect from the hottest, you’re not left with much. Which indicates there’s nothing to be bothered about! It all balances out!

Bright Idea

90,000 political stooges and hangers on went to the COP junket in Dubai to achieve Net Zero in the way of anything significant.
    How many will be doing it next year? Maybe they should hold COP 29 in tents in the Gobi desert to reduce the numbers of especially useless bodies.

Mel isa bloke

I note that the Tory party deputy chairman for women is in the news because she spotted that a Green parliamentary candidate is a bloke in a wig.
    I also read that she’s the MP for Red Ditch. Is that what you get at the foot of the Red Wall?
    The amount of spurious fury from the Labour party shows that wigging blokes is routine for them as well as the Greens when they want to ‘prove’ numerical equality for women. Or people they pretend are women.

Unwelcome Perspective

Congrats to Lord Sharpe for pointing out that the £240 million allocated to the Rwanda plan needs to be set against the £4 BILLION blown on catering for illegals every year.
    And that doesn’t include the monstrous amount crooked lawyers are taking from the taxpayer.

Do us a favour

We keep hearing horror stories about Hamas terrorists planning outrages in Europe. I suppose it’s too much to hope that they’ll do something useful and blow the lumbering, cash-wasting ‘inquiry’ into the Chinese plague to tiny bits.

One they missed

Cleethorpes Working Men’s Club is getting a lot of stick for dropping references to men as they (allegedly) put women off. What about the working? Isn’t that off-putting to pensioners who no longer work?

One to export?

Scotland’s first minister, Mr. Humbug, sounds like he belongs on a flight to Rwanda as an undesirable if he thinks it’s a good idea to grease up to the Turkish president by agreeing that the Hamas bunch are jolly fine fellows.

Will he?

An interesting suggestion from one of my usual websites: if the Prime Minister is stabbed in the back over Rwanda next year, he should just quit on the spot – walk out of the Commons leaving the Tories minus a leader and also an MP.
    Which will let him spend more time with his hundreds of millions of pounds made when he was banker.

Not much of a solution

Some helpful person writing to the letters column of the Daily Disaster suggested that the way to end NHS strikes would be to give the junior doctors what they want.
    But is there enough money in the entire world to satisfy the grabbers?
    And what do we do to buy off the next gang of public sector strikers?

Nope, won’t wash

The Israeli army is claiming its customers were stripped to make sure they weren’t wearing an explosive belt, which is a fast way of doing it as an alternative to searching each member of a whole gang of prisoners individually.
    What isn’t reasonable is is not letting bombless blokes get dressed again. And what is disgraceful is the Israeli army giving people permission to take propaganda photographs of mobs of blokes in their pants lined up with their arms shackled being their back.

There’s always a story

Apparently, the Royal Mail is claiming it’s leaving letters and cards in bins and delivering more profitable parcels on health and safety grounds.
    The letters/cards/hospital appointments are being left to rot until next year to make sure that postal staff aren’t injured by a landslide of parcels.

How sad

There’s a company which is making dull and dismal Xmas crackers; no bright colours allowed; which don’t have one of those gadgets for making a ‘crack’ noise.
    The idea is that pathetic snowflakes will buy them, and do a ‘pop’ noise if they feel like it.

Appalling Wastes

The pathetic apology for an inquiry into the Chinese plague devours £750,000 per day in fees for lawyers of various sorts and putting illegal entrants in hotels costs the equivalent of a Rwanda plan; that’s £240 million; every month.
    No bloody wonder the country has a monstrous debt mountain on top of the one Gordon Brown built for us.

How about panic?

“What happens when our leaders fail to lead and our government fails to govern?” A pertinent question taken from the film The Fall of Hyperion, which was made in 2008.
    Kind of makes you wish someone had come up with something helpful in the intervening years.
    One thing’s for sure – calling in beer-swigging Starmer isn’t going to help any.

Don’t tell those Rangers!

Watching the mayhem & destruction when Walker, the Texas Ranger, busts a gang of bad guys in a warehouse, you get the impression that it would be a whole lot cheaper for the insurance company to let the bad guys help themselves.
    The devastation caused by Walker & Co. when they shoot up and generally wreck the joint is always infinitely worse.

Another story-teller

This is one of the pictures which prompted the observation that the Palestinians put on show by the Israelis are too fat to be terrorists or freedom fighters.
    Just what sort of mentality does a regime have if it thinks it’s a good idea to strip the clothes off its prisoners and take humiliating photos of them?

 

Putting on the agony rather than the style

An actress exuded Hollywood style, the caption for the photo said. Which doesn’t say much for that version of style if her pinstripe suit looked like oversized pyjamas.
    Borrowed from her much bigger sister when her back was turned?

Fake shadow of death

What is so brilliant about unpopulism that makes the rise of its reverse; populism; in Europe so terrifying?
    We should be told.

And another

Like search, ‘serving’ is another junk word when used about convicts. They don’t perform any useful service in gaol. They just consume taxpayers’ money whilst giving the dignity of employment to screws, who could be redeployed doing useful work elsewhere if not for the convicts.

One I missed?

Is there a Latin verb hamare? Hamo, hamas, hamat, etc.? It’s a while since I was at school.

Way too much, man!

That was a real mind-boggler from the Alzheimer’s Society; that the condition will cost the British economy £1 billion per week by 2025.
    Sounds like a prime candidate for Just Say No!

Dream on

Mashed peas on toast is one of the current cost of living crisis ‘in dishes’? Not where I live, it ain’t. Probably because I never got the habit of mashing avocados on toast; before they became unaffordable to the pea-fanciers.

Off target

The exhibitionists who were tossed out of the Chinese plague ‘inquiry’ when Boris did his apology were way off the mark.
    He didn’t create and spread the plague that killed their relatives. But why let facts get in the way of a whinge and a chance to behave badly?

Thriving industry

The phone rings. I lift the receiver and give my number.
    Call-centre noises for about ten seconds than the caller cuts me off.
    A 1471 check-up gave me the number: 001 334 219 381.
    A quick trip to the WWW told me that this number is associated with American scammers.
    They must have a great deal if they can afford to make calls to the other side of the Atlantic!

No contest

When you see a headline in the paper about Wallace, who do you think of? The Wallace of ‘& Gromit’ fame? Or Ben Wallace, who used to be the Defence Secretary? Or some other Wallace in the news temporarily?

Cliché rules, nokay

Does anyone ‘battle’ cancer? There’s not really anything someone with the condition can do in the way of battling themself. All they can do is hope it’s something the doctors specializing in the condition can wipe out or contain.

No mystery

“Why I’m getting my kit off on TV . . . aged 53” said the headline. No need to wonder. It has to be for the money.

Aaaah, no!

What’s the most ignored word in the English language? Has to be ‘search’. I’m ordered to do it umpteen times when I watch TV but I never do.

Not impressed

What was all that racket on Friday night going into Saturday?
    Turns out it was yellow weather wished on us by one of the Met Office’s storms with another of these non-names. I do wish they’d forget this stupid idea.

A picture that does tell a story

There was an interesting view from a panelist on GB Views the other night about the condition of the blokes in one of Israel’s photos of a gang of prisoners in Gaza lined up to be shown off.
    They were all too fat to be Hamas fighters.
    The picture did a good job of confirming that as well as bombing and killing Palestinians more or less at random, the IOF is rounding up bunches of the locals for a bit (or a lot) of bashing about because they can, not because the blokes have guns & bombs.

Trying too hard?

How inventive crossword compilers have to be.
    Who else would think of calling a pillow a bed cushion?

More climate crime

There was a bloke on the BBC lunchtime news the other day, encouraging people with solar panels to claim that what they’re doing is having an effect on the global climate.
    Which is just the blackest of black lies. Everything done here is impurely cosmetic and has zero effect on the condition of the planet as a whole.
    Maybe we need a law imposing a spot fine of a grand on people like the BBC bloke for deliberately spreading lies.

Manoeuvres?

The prime minister is getting a lot of blame for throwing a spanner in the works of the plan to export illegal immigrants to Rwanda. Especially for not excluding the European Court of Messing Us About and letting the legal trade blag even more dosh off us.
    Is this all part of the agenda of the mob that want rid of him so that Nigel Farage can take over a honcho of the Conservative party?

Still all quiet

Still nothing from this famous volcano on Iceland. One does get the impression that someone pressed the panic button far too soon and the whole world will just yawn and say, “Oh, has it gone off now?” if it ever does.

No fun circus

The cosmetic inquiry into the Chinese plague doesn’t want to know that it came from China and it was created there by adapting a bat virus to attack humans.
    All the boss lady wants to know is garbage about endless parties at Downing Street.
    Will it be 400 million quid well spent when the final report is delivered at about the end of the decade? Joke.

Might work

An interesting idea from the American bloke on the GB Views Headliners programme: when the Israelis have finished in Gaza, get them to sort out the migrants here.
    By bombing them to bits? That would certainly discourage more of them from sneaking in!

A picture worth 0.00001 words?

There are daft things to do and really daft things to do. Among the latter has to be sticking a picture of an Islamist terrorist in a newspaper article if it shows someone wearing a black cap, black shades and a light blue surgical mask.
    Cudda bin the paper’s editor, for all we know.

Very Un-PC!

From the River to the Sea,
There’s nothing much for you and me.
Just endless banners full of Wibble,
All written in a form of Scribble.

Radical De-drossification

What we need to do with all the people who are sabotaging the Rwanda plan is hoover them up, drop them in the Bay of Biscay during a good storm and leave them to sink or swim.

Credibility Net Zero

These sciffy films we get on TV can be quite silly but the message in 20.0 Megaquake, made in 2022, is right up there at the top of the daftitude tree.
    Global warming worsens earthquakes? Yeah, right.

Unknown foe

The police on duty at the Hillsborough football stadium stand accused of failing to protect the Liverpool fans who died.
    Protect from whom?
    That’s something which is never mentioned.

Totally Nuts

Boris Johnson must have done a grand job if he’s driven the looney left Daily Mirror into a state of hysteria and got them yelling that the dead from the Chinese plague can’t hear his apology. Do they do that on a regular basis for routine political apologies? Nope. Only for Boris.

Boots in the ‘too big for’ sense

There must be something about being on TV that creates a form of insanity in a certain type of personality. Otherwise, why would Patrick Chrispy of GB Views think he can hurl a ‘call an immediate general election’ ultimatum at the PM and expect anyone to take any notice of him?

Snowflake Melter

A neighbour has lent me a copy of a book which he found in a collection of ancient paperbacks. The Fickle Finger of Fate by John A. Keel was published back in 1966 and it seems designed to make the current generation of offence-seekers explode.
    It’s about a bumbling superhero called Satyr-Man and just loaded with casual political incorrectness by today’s standards. Something to make real people yell: “More!”

Another deficiency

According to what’s coming out of the education sector, the responsible adult will become extinct in the near future. The current generation of schoolkids are little savages with no discipline and no sense of proportion due to being kept at home when the Chinese plague was rampant.
    And if their parents failed to give them the values of decent human beings, that’s the world well and truly screwed!

Safe, but not as we know it, Jim

“Alastair Darling (Labour) had the safest pair of hands in Westminster”, I read in a glowing obituary.
    This is the bloke who was Chancellor from 2007-2010, when the banks went bust because Gordon Broon was trying to use them to buy votes in Scotland instead of regulating them,  and a Labour stooge left a note in the Treasury for the incoming Tories saying there was no money because Gordon Broon had spent it all.

Something I missed out on

Berlin Wall tablets. That’s bits of the old wall in Berlin, which was demolished in 1989, and given the homeopathic treatment and diluted until statistically, a dose of the brew contains no atoms of the wall at all.
    It was flogged as something which will help you to break down barriers between you and others. In your dreams.

Also pointless

The Labour party condemning all of the government’s policies as useless but failing to offer anything in the way of a workable alternative.
    Or are we expecting to think they’re saving all the good stuff up for their election manifesto in the hope that this will prevent the Tories from outflanking them?
    Like that could happen, given the sieve-like nature of politics and the tendency for mouths to be shot off when someone is feeling triumphant or has had too much taxpayer-funded booze down their neck.

Nasty Whinger

Is that racialist brat Nihal wotsisname still working for BBC Radio 5? If so, why? And why isn’t he in gaol for outraging public decency by beefing about being surrounded by white people in a country where that’s normal for 90% of the population?

How pointless can you get?

We have proof positive that the so-called inquiry into the Chinese plague has an agenda and all it wants is stuff which confirms that agenda.
    Why else would Michael Gove be silenced by the court jester, that bloke Keith, when he offered the scientifically based conclusion that the plague was genetically engineered in China to make a bat virus deadly to humans?

Distract, Distract!

The Climate Criminals have been forced to admit that COP 28 had the biggest carbon footprint of all the COPs. But this is the equivalent of discussing the relative sizes of ants whilst the elephants in China, India, Russia and the Americas look on.
    How come we are never told how much the hot air released at these jamborees for politicians and hangers on contributes to global warming?
    Numbers about that would be as irrelevant and distracting as the ones about the relative sizes of the ants.

Really Seasonal

A Death in Paradise Christmas special strikes me as rather twisted concept. Is the victim battered to death with a Xmas tree? Or maybe he/she gets a poisoned mince pie.
    How very cheerful. Not.

No Chance!

Today’s Recipe, I read, Cheesy Sprout Gratin
    Time to turn the page wondering what to have on a pizza. Nothing green, that’s for sure.

Grave omission

Why do we never hear anything about Nine Hag, the football manager Ten Hag’s dad?

Out of real world touch

Why would a BBC weatherperson think warmer plus wet and windy is worse than sunny but freezing bloody cold?
    Some attitude adjustment is clearly required.
    And maybe the occasional trip out of a warm studio.

We should be told

Last month, we were being told that a volcano in Iceland is about to erupt and bring air travel to a standstill and fill the atmosphere with some much Sun-blocking crap that we end up in another Ice Age.
    Then it all went quiet.
    Why?

Being realistic

Something beyond the power of our politicians, evidently, but when you think about it, dealing with the small boats ‘crisis’ is to the main migration rate problem as significant as going Net Zero here is to the global climate – something which has Net Zero useful contribution to make.

Long lie-in time

With no more CFL or MotoGP on the menu until next year, there’s no need to get up on a weekend morning for a catch-up or live viewing session.
    Which rather encourages late nights if there’s anything interesting happening.

Give us a hand, mate!

The Pope was taking to task, the useless bunch parasiting at the COP do. No danger of his God offering a helping hand with all the climate emergency stuff, though.
    “God helps those who help themselves.”
    Translation: You’re on your own, mate.

No big deal

Is a channel premiere of a film a big deal? Not if it can have been shown umpteen times already on other TV channels.

Plain posturing

Why is a BBC reporter nowhere near the Gaza border wearing a tin hat all of a sudden? After extra hazardous duty pay?

Logical?

If a bistro is a small eatery, is a monotro an incredibly tiny one?

Bash the bigot

Is it okay for a wild-eyed bearded bloke I’ve never heard of to be anti-Israeli and also do shows on the Baffled Broadchasing Company?
    Yes, but with buckets of disapproval from the usual suspects.
    Does he have no human right to free expression of his poisonous views?
    Apparently not if they don’t meet with the approval of the usual suspects.

Hereditary Hons

One of my correspondents has noticed something very strange about whoever is in charge of his local council’s council tax department.
    They always insist on adding BA Hons. to their sign-off in letters.
    Mine and earlier generation were always told that you don’t include a first degree in your letters unless you have something much more important to put in front of it, like a doctorate or even a master’s degree at a pinch.
    The need to pump yourself up clearly trumps etiquette where local government is concerned.

Easy one

“The Crown: Fact or Fiction”, read the strap line. But if every bugger knows it’s fiction, why ask the question?
    Unless, of course, there’s money to be made out of asking it. Which has to be the answer.

Special Report BS

“The Skorpion machinegun fires 900 bullets a minute”, a spot of hysterical journalism dressed up as a special report assured us.
    No, it doesn’t.
    The sub-machine gun developed by the Soviet Union for tank crews to use rips through a 32-round magazine in a couple of seconds. Then you have to remove the magazine, slot in a full one, cock the weapon and start shooting again.
    By the time your minute is up, the gun has whizzed through a whole lot less than 900 bullets.

The clue is in the name

Why would the American TV show with characters with the same names as Britain’s Royals be in trouble for making stuff up? That’s what fiction writers do. Make stuff up, not recycle actual verifiable history.

More Media Tripe

Dark matter, the nature of time and supermassive black holes are all among the unfathomable mysteries of the universe? Wrong.
    They might be among the currently unfathomed mysteries on this planet, but assuming that the current occupants know everything there is to know right now is just plain daft.

Target audience?

Is the Open University aimed at people from the Indian sub-continent? That’s certainly the impression the ads they put into NFL highlights on YouChube give.
    White ain’t right?