Well left behind

Cor blimey, mate! Windows is up to version 11 and I’m still using version 7 on an ancient PC, which has all the software I use regularly installed on it – and runs it all quite happily. Not something that could happen with a much later version, which is why I’m letting the march of progress pass me by.

Brain disengaged

How do you ‘catch up on demand’ with a TV series which is ‘coming up soon’ and hasn’t yet arrived so you haven’t missed any of it? Totally illogical.

Sold on the spot

Swap to ALDI and you won’t back your car through the closed garage door? That’s definitely a must-have, gimme-gimme deal!

SNAFU

It’s newspaper heaven. They’re lurching from one crisis to the next on a daily basis, happy as Larry at having something to write hyperbolic headlines about.

Much better job

AEW Dynamite, unlike the WW, still knows how to put on a decent show. Such as Daniel Danielson vs K. Omaygaaaa, which went on for the full 20 minutes allotted.
    Follow that with some bozos ranting aimlessly? Nope, we got some routine hissy bozos and the rants were saved for later.

Not that impressed

We are invited by the people who made it to believe that the film Operation Mincemeat is about a relatively unknown episode in World War II.
    Sounds like whoever wrote the book on which the new film is based, and the bunch who made the film, never saw the 1956 film The Man Who Never Was, which was based on the 1953 book of the same name by Ewen Montagu, the bloke who came up with the idea in 1943.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one . . .

“Ten days to save Xmas”. The old cliché of so many days to save something was bound to be dragged out of its box and recycled. On this occasion, it’s the British Retail Consortium setting a bogus deadline over the lorry driver shortage.

What have they got against me?

A storm in New York during an episode of Unforgettable takes out police communications there – and the TV picture here freezes solid. How weird is that? The Alibi channel came back during the adverts, bloody typical.
    When I tried to switch over to the Pick channel to try to watch an episode of Deep Space 9, all I got was a black screen, but the channels on either side were still there, leaving me feeling distinctly got at!

How strange

Try to search the BBC website for results for the this month’s elections to the Russian parliament and there’s . . . bugger all. But it’s all on Wikipedia. What is the Beeb up to?

Fair Question

“Illegal hands to the face”—is there such a thing as legal hands to the face?

Guessing Game

You play American football and your first name is Olamide? I’m going to guess that your mother is a chemistry teacher from the ‘amide’ bit. But what does Saquon’s mother do?

Plumbing Pragmatism

What do you do about a dripping tap? A friend of mine, who knows about these things, reckons the first thing to do is not be bothered by it. If the bugger wants to drip, let it!

Well overdue for sorting out

The Roman Rains (on the parade) character has become a real embarrassment to the WW. No wonder they cloned Batman to bash him about a bit.

 

Unwelcome turn of events

EXPO 2020 DUBAI spotted on a sign over the track @ the 2021 Russian Grand Prix. The Russians are obviously more behind the times than we thought.
    Normally, we’re praying for a spot of rain to roll the bones and make things interesting in a Grand Prix. But it was a bad thing yesterday. A first win for Mr. Norris would have been a better outcome.

Too much help

The Sunday Post, Scotland’s favourite newspaper, is having terrible trouble with its quiz questions. Last week, we were asked ‘What is the colour of the yellow star on the flag of Vietnam?’
    This week, the Arrow Word puzzle had a question reading: ‘— Balding, TV presenter (pictured)’
    Small snag: no picture, just a box containing the words CLARE BALDING. Helpful but not v. challenging.

Not that much fun, surely

I’m still weighing up whether it’s worth blowing a couple of hundred million bucks on a launch by SpaceX to spend three whole days orbiting the Earth in a tiny capsule with 3 other people.
    Sounds like a rather extreme form of exhibitionist masochism to me.

Tell us another

You’d think his minions would have warned the prime minister that claiming that the planet is at an imaginary tipping point due to deliberate man-made global warming and everyone has to do what he tells them to do is an open invitation to derision.
    But then again, there is no telling some people.

Don’t tell us what to do!

Despite all the warnings, our local motorists seem determined to create a local fuel shortage. There are steady queues backing down the main road at both petrol stations.

Costly cosmetic

Counting the number of near misses at hospitals might give some bean-counter the illusion of doing useful work but it doesn’t actually do anything to help the customers who are not getting the full service.

Not convinced

Boris & Biden in historic White House summit is just hype & BS. There is nothing historic about a British PM meeting an US president. It has been going on for decades as a matter of routine since cross-Atlantic travel became safe, quick and convenient.

Best story of the week

The volcano which is creating havoc on the Spanish Island of La Palma is doing a grand job as all the stuff it’s hurling into the atmosphere is blocking sunlight and cooling the world.

Aaaagh!

There’s now a TV channel called Great! Movies Xmas, I noticed, and it’s only September. How much Xmas spirit will be left by the end of December?

Weird choice

“I’ve got three kids and no money, what do I do?” is the clip that’s supposed to sell viewers on watching a TV series.
    “Get an effin’ job,” is the obvious advice to offer.

Not shaken

It was all very dramatic when the car blew up but we the viewers just knew that Annika’s team would have got her out of the boot in time. Or they’d have had to redo the programme’s titles with someone else’s name.
    And remake all the cute promos.
    And there’s another episode on next week called Annika.

Strictly non-persons

The headline was about a Brit Award winner ‘you may never have heard of’. Which is hardly definitive enough. I probably haven’t heard of most of them.

Still useful, still a good idea

One of my neighbours still has grates for coal fires and he is looking forward to being warm and smug when the gas runs out and everyone else is left to freeze during the winter!

Two and a half cheers

Just how many complaints did the BBC get last week about the dreadful sound quality of its programme NFL This Week? The sound was clear and consistent all the way through this week. Just shows that they can get it right if they bother to make the effort.

Not nearly good enough

Hit the fast-fast-forward if the best WW RAW can do is pretend that crude thuggery is sport or entertainment. Just as well they had Alexa to offer a bit of amusement.

Vested interest

How odd that an intervention by the PM is ‘powerful’ only when it’s what the newspaper concerned has been agitating for.

“This is awful!”

How true that wrestling crowd chant was for the alleged battle between Mox (the former Dean Ambrose) and the ancient Jap on AEW Dynamite.

More Yawn

Does anyone in the real world care how many kids the prime minister has? No? Thought so.

Sound & Fury but no Action?

We seem to be getting a lot of noise from the Home Office about preventing looneys from blocking motorways but it’s doubtful if anything will happen until a few senior coppers are sacked for letting it happen.

Still recognizable

The AEW name game goes on. Daniel Bryan is Bryan Danielson there now that he has been restored to health. And was that Ruby Riot now trading as Ruby Soho with bright red hair instead of shocking green hair?
    Strange that C.M. (Chunky Munky?) Punk is still trading under the same name. It’s not as if it’s all that brilliant.

Barely recognizable

The ancient Dustin Rhodes looked a lot slimmer and fitter than he was during his official career when he was doing his bit on AEW.

Great Minds

It’s interesting to count up how many people have had the Hammer film response; a march of villagers bearing fiery torches towards his residence; to Lord Deben’s notion of switching off street lights to make people grope around in the dark if they can’t afford an electric torch.

Go, Titans!

Great rejoicing among the NFL fans at the Mansion that the Titans held on for an overtime win against the deeply unpopular Seasquawks on Sunday night.

Never going to happen

PM Boris’ fantasy project to build a bridge from Scotland or Norther Ireland, or dig a tunnel, was always never going to happen. It’s the sort of daft idea that politicians come up with in idle moments when they’re thinking about their legacy.
    Something that always gets torpedoed when the next crisis comes along.

Scam of the week

Has to be the National Trust charging a parking fee per passenger in a vehicle instead of just per vehicle. That is just downright dishonest.

Idle thoughts for idle moments

How come a bone right at the front of the chest is called the sternum? Rank bad planning.

Good & Bad

81 doesn’t seem to be a good age to be; Sir Clive Sinclair and Jimmy Greaves both gone at that age. But 91 seems to be doing Clint Eastwood no harm if he’s still making films.

His next job?

Blimey! Ancient Kane of the WW looks like a US president in a suit – Number 38, Gerald Ford? Yes?

Zero Sympathy

The police have a cheek, complaining about not getting a pay rise when they let yobs block motorways for 4 hours. And offer them drinks and cushions instead of doing the job they’re paid for, which is keeping the traffic moving.

Watching live is too much pain

WW SmackDown is pretty much a turkey these days. Take out the repeats, the cheap shots and backstage assaults and there’s not much left. Which explains why it is possible to charge through a 90-minute recording in 32 minutes.

And finally

Will it rain on MotoGP? There were spots of rain in the air when the field left the grid with Ducatis in the lead. Martin slid his off from 4th on lap 4/27. Bagnaia looked comfortable in the lead but team mate Miller lost 3rd to Bastianini with his tyres shot. Hope for Quateraro in 2nd?
    No rain, no cigar. Bagnaia held on for his second win in a row and Marq Marquez pinched 4th on the last lap.

Mysterious message

Sam Lowes had ‘elf’ on the fairing of his motorbike. Is there something Germanic and mystic about the number eleven?

Politics of Pillocks

The Scottish government seems to have no trouble over finding the cash to rewrite the country’s history with the focus on slavery and cancelling street names & monuments. Meanwhile, it needs the British Army and English cash to bail out its failure to keep the ambulance service operating.

Not Sam today

British hope Sam Lowes took the lead on lap 1/25 of what is effectively his home Moto2 race, but he dropped back behind Canet & Fernandez. The injured Fernandez took over the lead and Canet was unable to hold off the challenge of Gardner, who almost had a shot at a win on the last lap.

Out of the blue

Lots of racing behind Fenati in the San Marino Moto3 race. Series leader Acosta managed to stay on his bike but 7th was the best he could manage.
    Shock-horror! Fenati fell off on his own in the lead with 10/23 laps left; championship hopes blown. Foggia inherited the win.

Cheeky Sods

For 20 years, we are expected to believe, the nation has been waking up to someone or other; never heard of her; on TV. I don’t. So how dare the arrogant bastards exclude me from The Nation!

Drop Dead

Those People are at it again, using the excuse of a reshuffle to demand quotas in the Cabinet for every minority, vexatious or otherwise. Being able to do the job, of course, is always a secondary requirement in politics.

Oh, dear!

The Americans seem to have upset the Saudis big time by releasing previously classified FBI files on the 20th anniversary of the 9/11 attack to reveal just how involved the citizens and diplomats of Saudi Arabia were with the bin Laden Bunch.

Groan!

A week in the stocks for Cunard for the cuteness for changing all its cruises into sailcations.

Neverending

We’re hearing rather a lot about stress, but nothing about what’s really behind it. One does end with the suspicion that a lot of it is cosmetic. People assume that they’re supposed to be, even if they aren’t, and therefore they claim to be.
    Maybe some expert could do a spot of research and offer some numbers for our entertainment?

Practical Philosophy

“When I die, will anyone turn up at the funeral?” a character in a TV drama was wondering.
    To which the only possible response has to be: “Hey, you’ll be dead and not bothered because you won’t be able to be bothered about anything any more.”

Joined-up Advertising

The only way to get away from adverts for the crime series Annika on Alibi is . . . to watch an episode of Annika. Otherwise, they’re wall-to-wall. Especially during Whiskey Cavalier.

Suicidal tendency

What’s with this weird American obsession with having fires and hundreds of candles burning on spacecraft and space stations? Are there no ’elf ‘n’ safety rules in their far future?

Mortality, Schmortality!

Eventually, I’ve been told, you start wondering if you’re going to live long enough to see the next Bond film on TV – and whether you’ll be bothered if you don’t last long enough.
    Especially if the character is blacked up or turned into a woman.

A point of view

Old age is thinking twice about buying more of certain types of wine because, having struggled to open the ones in stock, you might not be strong enough to battle the cork out of the next delivery!

Generalities are Junk

The PM reckons his late mother taught him the equal importance, the equal dignity, the equal worth of every human being on the planet.
    Which is fine as a pious slogan but when you get to the detail, you’re including Putin, the Taliban, the regimes in China & Iran, exploding Islamists who haven’t yet, serial killers . . .
    The list just goes on and on, deeper into infamy.

Not even trying

What did BBC 2 do to the sound on its NFL Highlights programme? It was all over the place; inaudible, shouty, really disbloodygraceful. -150 out of 10.

Completely Clueless

An apostrophe usually indicates missing letters. But what, I asked myself, could be missing from someone named Ty’son or De’Andre by his weird parents?
    Americans really do come from another planet.

Busted Flush

The government’s COP26 bloke, Mr. Alcopop, has come up with something interesting. The Chinese are not going to start cutting their emissions until 2030 and they’re not planning to go carbon neutral until 2060.
    Which means that everything done here in the meantime will have ZERO effect on the world’s climate and be a total waste of time.
    Something to remember when the global warming fraudsters start telling us what a grand job they’re doing.

Winning in spite of themselves

Phew, Gov! The Raiders tried real hard not to win their Monday Night Clash with the Ravens, even in overtime. But they had something spectacular in the locker for their win.
    For once, an NFL match up to CFL standards.

Good Grief!

If Claudia Winkelperson really did have to have to phone a hairdresser to find out that trimming her fringe would let her see where she was going during lock-in, and get instruction on how to do it, then she should be representing the nation in the Pathetic Cow Olympics.

Weird concept

There’s something described as a Dambusters masterpiece clock on sale for £130 + £13 p&p – but no battery on offer.
    The quartz clock and thermometer below a model of a Lancaster bomber have dials 2½" across; not that visible from across a large room.
    What is described as an indoor thermometer goes from -40 deg.F (which is also -40 deg.C) to +140 deg.F (+60 deg.C), which is a hell of a lot more than the range you’d expect in an average home.
    I think I’ll give it a miss.

Nothing is safe

I’ve just worked it out. The key scene in last night’s episode of Deep Space Nine was pinched from the Arthurian tradition. The last battle between Arthur & Mordred was precipitated by a knight drawing a sword to kill a threatening snake. But in the SF epic, a blundering idiot was disarmed and Major Kira and the two Bajoran fractions didn’t start shooting one another to bits.

The slogan till makes no sense

The fact that there is still only one TV channel called Drama is still no recommendation. After all, why would anyone else be daft enough as to pick the same name for a new channel as for an existing one?

Fast Lane Rocks

There are three large advantages to watching recordings of sporting events on fast forward. You get through the routine stuff painlessly, you can watch the good stuff at normal speed and you are spared the inane witterings of commentators, especially for TV wrestling.

Not so wow

150 Nectar points for a 15-minute survey? Wow! Sounds a lot. But a Nectar point is worth ½p. Which means you’re being offered an hourly rate of 3 quid for your labour.

Cool with it

It gives you a warm glow of achievement to know that you have successfully avoided the annoying and award-winning Anton Dec on TV for 20 years with absolutely no sense of loss.

Yawn again

Don’t you just wish someone would drop something big and heavy on the tedious bloody Mystery Woman in the Deception TV series on Alibi? We could do with a prolonged rest from her.

Way off the mark

A bloke in the paper says he doesn’t mind paying £14/week to the BBC as it’s less than what streaming services charge. But what’s on the Beeb is a lot less watchable.
    He adds that there are no adverts on the Beeb, which is total bollocks. It’s chokkablock with self-congratulatory stuff.

Here we go again?

There was a spectacular but easily cleared away crash on lap 1 of the Italian GP; a harbinger of more sinister stuff to come; with Ricciardo in a McLaren unusually in the lead. All very processional for a while
    An endless pit stop sabotaged Mad Max’s race so he did a Schumacher and crashed out L. Hamilton on lap 26 to prevent his rival from scoring more points than him?
    A rare McLaren 1-2 for Ricciardo & Norris at the end.

Information overload

We seem to be getting an alarming amount of stuff about the Annika TV series on the Alibi channel.
    If they keep on going at the current rate, they’ll be reduced to telling us how often she changes her socks by next week.

Wot a race!

MotoGP in Aragon. Marq Marquez was eager to get from 4th on the grid to the lead as his brother Alex was crashing out early in the first lap of 23. Bagnaia persisted in going fastest in P1. Lots of close racing up and down the field.
    Would Marquez bag Bagnaia? Not for want of trying but he couldn’t make a pass stick and he couldn’t deny Bagnaia his first ever MotoGP win.

Don’t Fall Ill Whatever You Do!!

Apparently, the NHS is nothing special when compared with what is on offer in other countries; except the United States, which is an eccentric anomaly.
    Worse, the NHS wastes enormous amounts of cash on lunatic computer scams and overpaid managers & consultants and other useless bods.
    And you can be lucky to emerge alive from an encounter with some parts of it.

Hopes dashed

Sam Lowes was on pole for 21 laps of Moto2. Tyres an issue. There were a couple of early crashes. Championship hopeful Bezzecchi went off with 12 to go. 9 to go and Lowes crashed. Crap! Fernandez had an easy win. Where was John McPhee? 20th.

Just Useless

BT Sport is not popular in the Mansion. The last 2 matches of the CFL Saturday Triple-Header won’t be on BT until 3 in the morning on Wednesday and then Friday. And yet two of the earlier matches; the one from Friday night and the first Saturday match, will be getting repeat slots, which could have been devoted to Saturday matches 2 & 3 if the bozos @ BT had 2 brain cells to rub together.
    That’s the opinion of the CFL fans, anyway.

Thrills & spills for real

A couple of riders fell off, rather than being crashed off, in a very racy Moto3 of Aragon. Then stuff happened. Acosta, the series leader, crashed out Artigas with 4/19 laps to go. Garcia, second in the championship, failed to dent Acosta’s lead; he fell off on the last lap. Foggia took the win practically on the line to go 3rd in the series.

Just fearmongering

Why would people be burdened by the fear of losing everything they have ‘worked diligently for’ to buy care in old age? They can’t take it with them when they go, and once they have shed the burden of their assets, everything is free and courtesy of the taxpayer, as for life’s failures and idlers.
    And it’s not as if Boris’ famous cap, with pretty well everything excluded from the calculation such as food and somewhere to live, will make any difference.

What’s Yellow & Deathly Dull?

The Chinese regime is trying to put its video games firms out of business by banning violence and anything that looks like support for profit-based motivation. Are the waxworks in Peking getting a bit nervous as they look over their shoulders at a generation which would wipe them out without a second thought if they bring the stuff of video games to real life?

Drones/Dronesses

Anyone who spends an hour in a queue to blow a fiver on a burger has way too much unproductive time on their hands.

Junk Advertising

An insurance company telling us in a TV ad that people prefer to go to a company they can rely on? This has as much value, when you think about it, as the bleedin’ obvious statement that customers prefer to get insurance from a company that won’t kill them.

Oh, Crumbs! That bad?

How does the current Labour leader know he needs to look over his shoulder for competition? The dronish ex-leader Neil Kinnock thinks he’s doing a not too bad job. Faint praise, damning therewith.

Just trying to stir the pot

One up the kilt is due to the Daily Mail’s posturing city editor. If, as he claims, it’s wrong for young people to contribute to the social care budget, why should pensioners, and the childless,  pay taxes to educate other people’s children?
    Why should anyone pay out money when they receive no direct benefit from it? Because that’s what living in a community is all about.

Priorities Totally Correct

Nice to see reports that 60,000 Poles in Warsaw gave the England football team a good booing when they did the Knee of Shame before their international match.

Not funny, but . . .

I was amused to read that GPs not doing a face-to-face diagnosis of patients will lead eventually to causing enough premature deaths to reduce the demand for appointments to the GP time available. But would the nation’s politicians be cynical enough to let this happen?

Who’s the incompetent one?

The Social Care minister calling the Education Sec. either racialist or incompetent because he didn’t recognize a footballer; black, of course; has to be a sign that she is an idiot. Following football isn’t part of the Education Sec.’s brief, and she should know that.

Little things, small minds

How unsurprising that the appallingly self-satisfied Miriam Margolese is inordinately proud of being the first person to say “fuck it” on University Challenge.

Like as if

Clonk! A murderous bit of machinery hits a woman in Midsomer. “Call an ambulance,” someone yells. And one turns up. Like that would happen in real life these days.

No excuse

Should we go in for paying 2 quid a month to a donkey charity or should we be demanding to know why the regime where the donkeys live doesn’t ban people who can’t keep them fed & watered & in good health from owning animals?
    After all, this is the 21st century, not the 7th.

Nope, not me

Has the return of ABBA thrilled me? If the papers didn’t keep banging on about it, I wouldn’t know it had happened and I remain unthrilled.

Spurious Complication

Would making vaccination for NHS staff compulsory raise new ethical and legal complications? Nope. It would just show up who’s a selfish bastard if they don’t have a medical reason for not being vaccinated.

Empty Barrels

It was all very well for gangs of Tory ministers and usual suspects to be against raising National Insurance to pay for social care, but did they have an alternative?
    Evidently not.

Brain in Neutral

We’re invited to believe that cats are such delicate creatures that the change of routine if their host switches from skiving @ home to going out to work will leave them in need of the services of a cat psychiatrist. Sure, they will!

Roomless

Local councils are telling the government they have nowhere to stash an influx from Afghanistan. No surprise there if the Home Office keeps having its attempt to deport criminals frustrated by criminal lawyers.

Stay South

Going anywhere near Glasgow in November looks like a terrible idea if all the global warming swindlers flocking in for the jamboree won’t be subject to plague testing, or even quarantine if they’re from red-list countries.

Usual row over nothing

Has the Prime Minister sinned against the entire nation by not realizing, when he was fighting the last general election, that the entire financial landscape of the nation would be blighted by a Chinese plague?
    There was no sign of the Labour lot anticipating it.

Worth the wait

That’s the conclusion of the CFL fans who had their normal viewing messed about by Labour Day’s requirements of two matches being played on Monday (yesterday). Now, everyone can relax until it all starts again toward the weekend.

Not entangled in the hype

There’s a new Bond film waiting in the wings. Am I going to rush to a cinema to watch it when it’s finally released? Or am I going to do what I usually do and wait for it to be on TV?
    Decisions, decisions.

Back to boring form

Dutch Grand Prix, no rain, the shouty bloke wetting himself over a bit of back-marker craziness on the opening lap but nothing much happening really. Mad Max off down the road. One click of fast forward to make sure nothing dramatic happened. And it didn’t.

Adding context

Homme de Bat vs the Man of Soup has to be a joke as Batman would stand no chance in a fair fight. Which means he has to cheat and it’s under TV wrestling rules.
    Bruce Wayne turned out to be a really hissy git but as least he didn’t have the Boy Blunder around. Wonder Woman but no Captain Marbles? They slipped up there.

Superhuman Hearing

I was a bit baffled by a news item about thousands of chainsaws vanishing from British high streets. It wasn’t until I paid attention to a summary, and the newsreader improved his diction, that I discovered that it’s chain stores that are vanishing, not chainsaws!

Superhuman

Crumbs! Former BBC icon Jenni Murray used to weigh 24 stone! Which is over double what I weigh. She must have been super-fit to lumber all that bulk about.

Rotten swizz

Anyone hoping to see C.M. Punk tarred & feathered in his home town on AEW was out of luck. But he did get bashed about a bit by yobs to put him in his place.

Days of Discontent

Lots of “Bloody Labour Day” mutterings from the CFL fans @ the Mansion. They normally get a match on each of Thursday and Friday, and two on Saturday. Over Labour Day Weekend, it’s one each on Friday & Sunday so that there can be 2 on Monday, which is the actual Labour Day in Canada.
    Still, they got their money’s worth out of the battle of Montreal vs Ottawa on Friday there, Saturday here.

Got It!

Something we’re going to have to remember now is that since she got her ticket punched by Ofcom, which ruled that Piers Morgan is free not to believe a word she says, Mrs. Megan Sussex is now known as Princess Pinocchio.

Only Fair

Sarah Vine of the Daily Mail seems to be showing an indecent degree of glee at having ditched the Govester and being free to mockery the silly antics of her soon-to-be-ex. Maybe he should get a column in the interests of tat for tit and balance?

Handbags @ Dawn

The stroppy teenager Greenhouse Girder has picked a fight with the wrong woman if she’s going to snub the November global warming jamboree in Glasgow on the grounds that Wee Burney Sturgeon’s country isn’t important enough to merit her attention.

Not fooled

Quick, phone the lawyer. MASH is a book & film & TV series about a mobile hospital in the Korean war.
    Claiming it’s a late nite news show on the Dave channel is a clear case of passing-off.

TV of waning interest?

Of the Top 20 sets of theme music for TV shows, only 2 out of the top 10 registered with me. I didn’t watch the others. The next 10 did a lot better. I’ve watched 7 of them.

Calm down, dears!

“Chaos over jabs for kids” would be true if some kids were getting them and some weren’t, and some were getting jabs who didn’t want them and some who wanted them weren’t.
    In fact, the government thought they’d be a good idea but their experts are telling them they’re not.
    So just manufactured BS for a panic headline, not real chaos? Yup.

Grow Up

Does it matter if ITV showed Carry On Up The Khyber on Bank Holiday Monday when the last British troops were leaving Kabul? No one who counts will have given the proverbial rat’s arse about the scheduling.

One out, one in

The government wants to import 10,000 useful Afghans. Maybe the Home Office should be booted up its collective arse into deporting the 11,000 foreign criminals who qualify to make room for them.

More down that drain

A good business to be in right now is the peat bog business if the government is planning to splurge £16 million of our money on them as a global warming scam.

Merciless Masochism?

“My lockdown work-outs give me a blinding headache”, was the headline. “Don’t do them” is the rather obvious advice to offer to the afflicted person.

Give it a rest

The worst thing about the BBC News channel as a new hour approaches is the way they keep showing the same story clips over and over and over relentlessly instead of getting on with showing the bloody news. With that idiotic music, of course.

Something else ignorable

Script writers for the wrestling business just can’t resist making some pushing git walk out on to the ramp down to the ring during a match and making one of the competitors ignore their opponent in favour of the pushy git.
    What a sensation it would be, though, if just once, both grapplers ignored the pushy git and got on with their job!

Death to all pushy gits

You’re dining while watching something on TV. An advert ordering you to “ring us NOW”. How often does that happen; a phone call made? As close to never as makes no difference?
    My standard reactions are either to ignore the command or tell them to eff off. Ad agencies must know this and it’s strange that they persist in ignoring it.

Lost cause

If anyone is to believe that WW lady wrestler Becky Lunch is “The Man”, she’s going to have to consult a plastic surgeon.

Mind boggling furiously

If you want an example of the utterly bizarre, there’s the story that the Lancaster police want to bust the parents of a 2-year-old girl for ‘abducting’ her and taking her to Spain. There has to be something seriously weird going on here.

Yes, We Can!

That was a good counterblast to a whinge by former BBC icon John Humphreys at the weekend. Can we force Western values on people by pointing guns at them? he asked.
    Worked for the Talibandits.

A matter of no importance?

How many of its members are interested in who runs one of the biggest trade unions? The winner of the election for the Unite union got yes-votes from just 3% of the membership.

Oh, dear!

Exposed! The people ‘organizing’ the silly Xtinctionist outings are just a bunch of hypocritical middle-class wimmin with nothing better to do. Well, that puts them in their place.