Better off out

The European Court of ’Uman Rights has ruled that police forces everywhere must inform criminals that their life could be in danger if the coppers discover that rivals are plotting against the criminal in question, and threatening to infringe the scumbag’s ’uman right to life.

Hooray for us!!

The EU referendum was like a replay of the Civil War – only without all the cannon and cavalry charges and dead bodies. Back then, the Cavaliers were billed as “romantic and wrong”, and the Roundheads were “repulsive and right”. Not to mention a miserable bunch of Puritan gits who closed the theatres and banned Xmas and destroyed ecclesiastical art, good and bad alike.
    The Brexit camp was unco-ordinated and underfunded and right, the Bremainers were vested-interest scaremongers with taxpayers’ cash and wrong. And, wonder of wonders, the much reviled British people made the right choice.
    Hooray for us!!

Something doesn’t add up

We keep being told that pensions are becoming unaffordable and the NHS is being swamped because people are living longer inconveniently. And yet – two-thirds of Britain’s adult population are fat or obese and 80% have a prematurely aged heart, according to the latest medical shock-horror. Which means that they are likely to die early of heart failure, a stroke or some other complaint of old age.
    If Britons are so unhealthy, how are they managing to survive to pension age and beyond?

Nasty Nutters On Purpose

J. McDonnell, who is being overpaid as Labour’s shadow chancellor, is having a laugh. Knowing that he will never be required to put it into effect, he trotted out the daftest menu of looney left spending imaginable for the Labour party conference. And the wonder of it all is that people actually bothered to take him a bit seriously instead of giving him a polite smile for a feeble joke.
    Of course, there’s also an element of political strategy involved in that the nastier and crazier his acolytes are, the nicer and saner, and less like a garden gnome, the leader, J. Corbyn, seems in contrast. Funny old business, politics.

Don't bother to duck, it will be too late!

An 8.5 ton artificial meteorite, the Chinese space laboratory Tiangong-1, is about to hit Earth sometime in 2017 . . . somewhere. The Chinese version of NASA has no idea where it will crash as the defunct module is spinning out of control following a systems malfunction.
    This cock-up is down to representatives of the same Chinese regime which is being allowed to be involved in building a nuclear power station at Hinckley Point. [If they can steal enough technology from the Yanks.]

Out, vile blot!

How strange that some Labourites are trying to dump their domestic violence mouthpiece because she has form (allegedly) for violence against her ex-husband. How typical of Labour not to value on-the-job experience!

Off-target

Surely the producers of Coronation Street have blundered in sacking a Pakistani actor for ranting at Indians on antisocial meeja. Everyone knows that only white people can be racist. That’s what the lefty luvvie lobby would have us believe, anyway.

Change should go many ways

There have been lots of protests in the USA about black people being shot by (black) cops and a demand for change. Okay, wouldn’t it be nice if black people changed so that they lost their image of someone likely to have a gun and/or a knife and be a danger to life and limb?

Here’s a good one . . .

There could well be a good reason why Tony B. Liar is spinning an 80% cut in his money-grubbing: he’s now a busted flush. The world’s despots and tyrants won’t us him as an image consultant because his terrible reputation as the worst person in the world shows that he’s crap at it.
    Worse, he has a reputation for failing to deliver on deals and promises of access to people wielding the levers of power.

Rotten to the core

M. Schulz, the head of the Euro parliament, has committed a grotesque libel on Brexit supporters by accusing them of killing Jo Cox, MP. It just underlines the fundamental nastiness of those who have their noses buried deep in the Euro-trough.

The wheels grind dead slow? More like dead stop!

Yahoo! has just discovered that the company was hacked back in 2014 and 500 zillion customer details were copied. The big question now is why did Yahoo! take so long to realize it had been reaped? State-sponsored hackers (Chinese, Korean, Russian, etc.) are getting the blame as this sounds a bit better than scumbag criminal hackers looking to make loot out of it.

Off-target Aussie

An Aussie academic is taking a pop at Shakespeare because he has found that many of the expressions which the bard is credited with inventing appear in earlier texts.
    Yes, Shackspeare used phrases like “it’s all Greek to me” and “wild goose chase” in his plays, but it was academic vultures picking over them, like Dr. D. McInnis, who made all the claims of invention, not the man himself.
    And if the vultures didn’t have access to the earlier texts consulted by the Aussie, or were too lazy to dig them out, that’s hardly the fault of Mr. Wm. Sheksper.

Be very afraid! Pointlessly

The Office for National Statistics, the Bonk of England and even the OECD and the Bremain-supporting foreign big banks have realized that the Cameron/Osborne Project Fear scare campaign before the EU referendum was just that – intended to scare but built on lies and devoid of substance. Britain is still doing okay after the Brexit vote.
    So what about a public apology, Dave ‘n’ George? Not to mention Lagarde of the IMF, Carney of the BoE, all the “eminent economists” who predicted utter disaster and all the other stooges who got it so wrong.

Recycling? Hardly

A woman has been convicted of recruiting her ex-husband and her son to murder her boyfriend. The noteworthy thing about the case is that they stuffed the body into the box for a flatscreen TV before dumping it.
    It must have been a bluddy big TV!

New opportunities

Tony B. Liar sez his money-grubbing days are over and he’s giving up his secret empire of cash-hiding companies. From now on, he’s going to work for free for 80% of his time. So if anyone has an illegal war they need to get started, they know where to go.

Polytricks abroad

The turnout at this month’s elections in Russia was at a very low level for the simple reason that only people willing to vote for Vlad the Putin were allowed into polling stations, where the staff were busy ignoring the CCTV cameras and stuffing votes in the boxes in the sure and certain knowledge that no one would dare to object – if they knew what’s good for them.

Tell us something we don’t know

“Very often it is said that bank robbers and poachers are among the very best to serve our police farces,” sez Juncker the Cluncker, the president of the European Commission, which is as clear an admission that you could want that the Europeon Union and its institutions are run by superannuated crooks, fraudsters and accomplices of the above.
    But then, the EU is the institution that let its anti-corruption commissioner, a certain N. Pillock, sack the only woman in a position of authority, who was trying to put a crimp in the activities of those engaged in fraud and corruption.

Poor me!

Russians hackers releasing details of legitimate drug use by athletes of other nations, under proper medical supervision, could be significant. It is possible that further revelations about institutional doping in Russia are about to come out, and they’re trying to get an “everyone else is doing it” defence in place before the bad news breaks.

Then what?

The Labour party’s shadow to the chancellor, J. McDonnell, a self-proclaimed Marxist, is busting a gut to bring down capitalism. But if no one has any capital, what then? Universal poverty? Well, yes, we’d all vote for that.

Self-indulgence

What do self-indulgent gestures on the sports field, like larking about during the American national anthem, add up to? They’re simply out of place, and an insult to every American who was sent to die under the American flag regardless of the legality of the cause or the wisdom of the president who sent them on it. There are better and more honest ways of protesting.

Eurobollocks

According to Europeon Commission president and hate criminal J.C. Juncker, if he starts staggering about after drinking lots of free booze, it’s not because he’s an alcoholic and he’s pissed. No, it’s because he was in a car crash in 1989.
    Nul points for credibility but a couple for imagination.

Ignorance is no excuse

Take note everyone writing or spouting (like M. Carney, the overblown Gov. of the Bonk of England) about the new plastic five pound notes: “polymer” is not “a type of thin, flexible plastic” any more than “wood” can be defined as “a material derived from trees and used to make walking sticks”.
   Polymer is a generic term for materials consisting of chains comprising lots of (poly) units (mers) of a chemical compound, e.g. polyethylene (polythene), polyethyleneterephthalate (PET or Terylene™) and organic materials such as proteins and DNA.

Cameron quits parliament to make more millions

“Brit’s don’t quit” was his cute political slogan. So does that mean Dave the ex-Leader is not a proper Brit? He certainly wasn’t a proper Tory, having few, if any, political values and he saw himself as the heir to Blair, as evidenced by his penchant for flash without substance.
    Just as Tony B. Liar wormed his way into Downing Street by not being the Tories, (although Mr. Liar did embrace Tory values when it suited him), so Dave the Leader snuck into power by not being Labour.
    Now exposed as a busted flush, like his mentor, he is quitting to cash in and put himself about where the real money is to be made. And if nobody wants him, then it’s a good bet that the fragrant SamCam will deliver the goods, cashwise, in the posh frocks trade.

Absolutely Glueless

If you think the level of organization by public servants in Britain is bad, imagine how the poor old Austrians feel. They tried to hold a presidential election in May but the result was annulled by a legal challenge to the way it was run. A new election is due on the 2nd of October but whoever bought the envelopes for the postal votes must have gone to his cowboy brother-in-law. The glue on the flaps doesn’t work, and votes which arrive unsealed are invalid. Get out of that!

“On behalf of” Racialism needs addressing

The Great British Xmas is under threat, a government survey has shown. Anti-British lefty councils are trying to suppress traditional British values in their eagerness to ingratiate themselves with migrants. The only cure would appear to be to appoint a corps of inspectors tasked with supporting the British way of life, people who will slap recalcitrant council officials and members around the head until they acquire a modicule [that’s a cross between a molecule and a modicum] of common sense, decency and an appreciation of British values.
    It that doesn’t work, sackings for misconduct in a public office are inevitable. The alternative is letting things happen like the police ignoring child abuse by ethnic minorities on spurious political correctness grounds.

Emerging from the woodwork

The Labour poseurs, who resigned en masse in protest against the Corbyn leadership, are gearing up to swallow their principles (if they have any) to allow themselves to bury their noses in the trough again via shadow cabinet jobs. The poor dears are feeling the pinch and missing the perks.

“Is your brain switched on, Mr. Humphrys?”

The BBC is jam-packed with warmists, who don’t have a clue what they’re going on about, as Christopher Booker, prompted by a reader, pointed out in yesterday’s Sunday Telegraph. The expert on everything John Humphrys interviewed a vulcanologist at the beginning of the month about the Tambora eruption of 1815, which was the biggest volcanic event on record. It was the one that turned 1816 into “the year without a summer”.
    When told that the aerosol of particles emitted by the volcano caused a drop in global temperatures of 0.7 deg.C, Mr. Humphrys was far from impressed. “Not a huge amount, then?” to quote the man himself. And yet 0.7 deg.C is the amount of the net rise in temperatures over the whole of the 20th century, which the warmists of the BBC have concluded is grounds for panic.

It's a fair question

Are the police pathetic and useless? Well, if it took the Met about 6 hours to remove 9 exhibitionists who'd chained themselves to a lump of wood on the runway of the London City Airport, then the answer has to be yes.

Not exactly a Wall of Death

The government is going to waste £12 million on building a mile-long Trump wall at Calais. The wall will be only 13 feet high, which is readilly accessible to even a modest ladder, and the drop on the other side from arm's length is nothing much. Government is all about posturing and cosmetic solutions? Always has been, always will be.

We’re doomed, we’re doomed!

The planet has been saved from supermarket plastic bags. It’s about to be saved from microbeads in cosmetic products. But it’s still doomed. The silly little pots containing a couple of grammes of coffee that go into fancy espresso machines are going to overwhelm our civilization thanks to some former TV star called Clooney. Bummer.

It’s a good story!

There was a wonderful story from an on-going rape case in the paper yesterday. Apparently, when the accused produced 10" of meat with a circumference of 4", the lady went, “EEEK!”, slammed her legs together and nothing happened. As the blessed Little John of the Daily Mail says, you couldn’t make it up.

Educational ignoramus

Grammar school opponent D. Swayne, a Cameroonie, thinks it’s dreadful that children who don’t get in to a grammar school “would have to be bussed elsewhere”. Maybe someone should tell him that 11- to 19-year-olds are perfectly capable of catching a bus, or even a train and a bus, to get to school and they’ve been doing it for a lot longer than he’s been around.

Ham actors = hamsters?

There’s a rather robotic TV wrestler called A.J. Styles, who recently transferred from TNA to the WW. He’s now doing a script which lets him describe himself as ‘the Face that runs the Place’. But the gang at the Mansion which watches the antics of the hamsters keeps coming up with alternative slogans for him. Like:

The Clown that runs the Town
The Titty that runs the City
The Berk that’s a total Jerk

    and my personal favourite:

The Arce that runs the Farce!

Nut-job warning

The Bank of England needs a new governor as the current one, some Canadian clown called Carney, seems to have gone crazy. He must have if he believes his own claim that the Cameron Clique’s Project Fear saved the British economy from collapse as a result of the Brexit vote.

Disgraceful!

I’ve been amusing myself by scanning the views of unhappy Bremainers, and I have realized that it really is a dreadful shame that people they view as uneducated and unworthy were allowed to abuse the democratic process to frustrate the wishes of their betters.
    In fact, the sorry Bremainers paint such a terrible picture of the democratic majority that another thought occurred to me: that if the EU had any moral sense, it would have booted Britain out years ago.
    But then, we’re talking about the EU, a Jim Vaz of international politics, which, if it were to change its official name to Corruption Is Us, everyone would still know what we’re talking about.

More Vaz thoughts

It would be really nice if the MP Jim Vaz threatened to sue would write back to the Vaz solicitor and say something along the lines of: ‘Thank you for your recent letter. My response is to invite your shabby client, and your shabby self, to sexual intercourse in the general direction of off. Have a nice day.’
    But that won’t happen, either. Shame.

Too late, mate!

Someone should have told “Jim” Vaz that when Ken Livingstone starts making excuses on your behalf, you’ve left it way too late to resign with a scrap of dignity left. Now that he’s been obliged to resign from his Commons committee job a whisker ahead of the first ever vote of no confidence, is he going to issue a public apology to all industrial washing machine salesmen called Jim for bringing them into disrepute?
    Probably not.

Is there enough grease to let him slip out of this one?

K. Vaz, the highly dodgy MP who chairs the Commons home affairs committee, which pokes its nose into crime, migration and sexual exploitation, has been exposed in the Sunday Mirror as a customer of Eastern Europeon rent boys. But probably only for research purposes. Everything is the fault of Her Majesty’s Press, according to Vaz, which makes everything okay.

Spin, mostly harmless

Outgoing President O’Bummer is claiming he has saved the planet by joining China in signing up to the Paris Global Warming Swindle Agreement from last December. Fine. Except that China has no intention of doing anything other than increase its rate of carbon dioxide emissions over the next couple of decades and O’Bummer has no hope of getting Congress to give him its endorsement. And then there are all the coal-fired power stations which India plans to build . . .

No competition

Quite a contrast between the conflicting motor sport events today. MotoGP was full of incident and excitement, including a closely contested Moto3 race, the British rider Sam Lowes being crashed out of his home Moto2 race after starting from pole position, and the British rider Cal Crutchlow going from pole in the MotoGP race to a well earned 2nd place behind the unstoppable Maverick Viñales.
    Meanwhile, in Italy, British driver Lewis Hamilton made a bog of the start in the Formula 1 race, as is his wont, and the event proceeded to an inevitable Mercedes 1-2 with Ferrari 3rd & 4th.

Old misery guts at it again

New Labour wished a 24-hour drinking culture on us. The Corbynites have ambitions to begin dismantling it. Starting with the idea of going to the pub after work with workmates. But only because it’s sexist and working mothers might feel unable to participate as a consequence of their own life-choices and poor organizational skills.

We’ll wait and see

The environment sec., A. Leadsome, has promised to ban the use of plastic microbeads in cosmetic and other products. Hooray! The oceans have been saved for posterity from toxic pollutants. Well, only if the rest of the world follows suit. Otherwise, it’s just a moral massage for politicians, like closing all our coal- and gas-fired power stations to save the world from global warming when no other country is doing the same.

Let’s be charitable

Are the junior doctors, who are striking for more pay, just a bunch of self-serving rotters rather than selfless healers? Maybe they think they’re going to do the nation a favour by trying to kill off enough customers to relieve the pressure on the NHS.
    But that doesn’t take account of the militants in the BMA leadership, who have admitted that they want to pick up where the miners failed and bring down a Tory government; with the backing of their mates the Corbynites, of course. So, let’s not be charitable.

Your own fault

Attention that Bolton councillor who claimed he was mistergendered: If you want people to think you’re a woman, you need to do a better job of it.

When a trade union talks about safety, it’s about money really

Junior doctors are going on strike over pay, people will die as a result and the doctors will be blamed. Well, how could it be otherwise if they’re intent on being the heirs to Scargill?