Instant experts

Everybody’s an internet expert these days; but the trouble is, a lot of the experts make out that they are commenting on something but in reality, they’re just pushing a personal agenda, having failed to spot the actual point of the original.

Off-target advertising

More on brand images; or should that be moron? Going to moneysupermarket.com turns you into a bum-waggling demented tranny. Why should anyone in their right mind want that?

The alternative makes no sense

Sky TV keeps going on about how wonderful it is that their customers can “buy and keep” things. But why would anyone in his right mind go for a “buy but not keep” option? Unless they were seriously puddled, of course.

Just say, “No, thanks”, Sir Tim

It seems that Nobel Prize-winner Sir Tim Hunt was forced to quit his professorship at University College, London, after light-hearted remarks made about women in the laboratory were misrepresented by wimmin with an agenda. Now, there is a suggestion that UCL should reinstate him. But would anyone with an ounce of self-respect wish to be associated with such a shallow and cheap institution now?

From one extreme to another

Police “services” in England and Wales have been fiddling crime figures downwards for ages by failing to record all sorts of offences. So it comes as no surprise to find that they have gone to the other extreme in response to a Home Office crack down on bogus statistics. As a result of the plod mentality, things like “man hit by flying biscuit” are now being logged as violent crimes and police statistics remain works of fiction.

Don’t pontificate, do your bit!

If the Pope is really serious about looking after the planet, maybe he could encourage his customers to stop breeding children they can’t support.

The Prime Minister got it right

It is not the fault of the British police if Moslems run away to Syria to join the terrorists there. It is not the job of the police to get involved where no crime has been committed. If fingers need to be pointed, they should be aimed at the family, friends and encouragers of the defectors, the Islamist control-freaks who hate Western society because it has so much more to offer than their mediaeval oppression and the tacit endorsement of terrorism in Moslem “communities”.

Keep the Pope out of politics continued

Perhaps the Pope has forgotten but it used to be “the consensus” that the Sun revolves around the Earth and as little as 400 years ago, his church would have had someone burnt to death for saying anything different. It wasn’t true, of course, but it was “the consensus” created by the Catholic church. Something like “the consensus” on anthropogenic global warming created by the swindlers at the United Nations.

Out of his area of competence

One has to start wondering about a Pope who concludes that it is a sin not to fall for the Great Global Warming Swindle, which involves deliberate suppression and falsification of data, vilification for personal gain of those who dare to challenge the purely political notion of a consensus on the science, and the pretence that the swindlers know how the Earth’s climate works and they can control it.

Don’t get your history from the BBC!

Okay, it was only a local programme but one of the staff is from the North West, and he always views North West Today after the BBC’s lunchtime news. And he reports that he sat there gobsmacked when he heard presenter Annabel Tiffin announce this lunchtime that: “Two hundred years ago today, Lord Nelson (died at Trafalgar, 21st October 1805) led his troops into battle at Waterloo.”
    And the thing is, there was no correction from Annabel after a bit of film which went with the item, so no one in the studio had noticed that the Duke of Wellington had been evicted from his most famous victory.
    Such is the modern BBC!

Not a chance in Hell!

In October, the UK national lottery will change the rules to oblige punters to pick 6 numbers from 59 possibles instead of 49. Which means that the odds against winning the jackpot will rise from 14 million to one against to 49 million to one against.
    It has been calculated that when it comes to winning the top prize, a customer is 12 times more likely to be eaten by a shark and 45 times more likely to be struck by lightning.

God Don’t Travel

The difference between religion and science is that the one is purely local whilst the other is universal. If there were a planet like Earth somewhere else in the galaxy with a similar evolutionary path, the inhabitants would know the Pythagoras theorem, Boyle’s law and Einstein’s theory of relativity (but under different creator names) but they would have their own local brands of weird religions rather than the ones we know. And yet, you can be sure there that they would have “community leaders” eager to blame an earthquake on inappropriate behaviour by tourists on a “sacred” mountain. The perverseness of allegedly advanced life forms is something else which is universal.

Who is fooling whom?

Belgium, the scroungers of Romania, Spain and Finland have all said “no” to one or more of Dave the Leader’s proposed reforms of the EU. So who is the bigger mug – the prime monster who thinks he can get 27 European nations to agree in order to give him a better deal or anyone who actually believes he has a chance of making a deal?

Paradox corner

How does the Labour party manage to believe in redistributing wealth but not in creating it? Where to they think it comes from? Grows on trees, maybe?

Just so you know

The current leader of the Scottish National Socialists has denied that her nickname is Gnasher because she looks like Dennis the Menace’s dog.

Calling all experts in recycling

Say I’m 99, totally knackered and I drop dead tomorrow. Will I be revived in my current decrepit state if I get through the Pearly Gates? Or will I be allowed to revert to an earlier, healthier, more mobile state? And will I get any say in the matter?

Numbers and religion

I came across some interesting thoughts on numbers and religions the other day, like:

The Mathemagics of Religion
    “Two plus two equals five.”
    “No, you're wrong, it’s one plus three that's equal to five.”
    “Excuse me, but you’re both wrong. It’s three plus three that's equal to five.”

May The Fours Be With You
    “Two plus two equals four.”
    “Wrong, three plus one equals four and we will kill anyone who says different. Starting with you.”
    Catholic vs Protestant, Shia vs Sunni, Hindu vs Moslem, ect., ect. (Molesworth reference)

Not our job, mate

To those who say Britain ditching the European Convention on ’Uman Rights would set the wrong example to the rest of the world, 2 points:
1. It’s not our job to set examples for the rest of the world.
2. There’s nothing wrong with abandoning the court in Strasbourg, if it is incompetent and staffed by people who are unqualified to make sensible judgements.

What was the highlite of race 2 in Detroit?

There was enormous satisfaction in Will Power, the whingeing Aussie, crashing into the wall in the final stages. Despite not finishing, he still got 13 points. And Muños, who completed only 5 of the 70 laps, collected 7 points. Indycar’s something for nothing culture is just great.

Which was the better cup final?

A straw poll at the Mansion gave it to the Scottish cup by a landslide. Which makes it the more strange that the Sunday Telegraph didn’t deign to offer a match report in what was supposed to be its Sport section.

The Mathemagics of Religion

“Two plus two equals five.”
“No, you’re wrong, it’s one plus three that’s equal to five.”
“Excuse me, but you’re both wrong. It’s three plus three that’s equal to five.”