Thought for the day

THINK BIKE – because the Lycra-clad idiot riding it is incapable of rational thought.

A cunning plan

In case you were wondering, the Corbyn Era is just a Labour tactic. The party has put all the nutters, the supporters of terrorism and riots, and the Big State wastrels in the shop window to frighten the electorate, hoping to become electable again when the nutters are swept aside.

Simple Justice

Why wasn’t whoever tried to hide an RAF engineer in uniform at the casualty department of that Margate hospital not sacked for objectionable conduct to encourage others?

There’s British and there’s British

Are we jumping for joy that Shaker Aamer is being released from preventive detention at Guantanamo Bay? Are we thrilled by the Daily Mail’s attempt to wrap our flag around a guy from Saudia Arabia, home of some of the world’s worst terrorists and their backers? Are we overjoyed that our government will spend millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money on watching Aamer until he’s no longer deemed a threat? Are we happy about Aamer getting a million pounds of taxpayers’ money to keep him out of court to stop him embarrassing the CIA? No effin’ way.

Another foreign scrounger

An Iranian migrant, who has been living here for 10 years and who wants a British passport, suddenly decided to try to get himself deported as an illegal immigrant because he got fed up with living in Manchester. Which leaves us asking why he doesn’t just sod off back to Iran. It’s not as if there’s anyone trying to stop him. In fact, the Iranian embassy even volunteered to help him with his travel expenses.

Diesel pollution thanks to Global Warming Swindlers

Both diesel and petrol fuels contain hydrocarbons as the power-generating component. When burnt with oxygen in the air, the hydrocarbons form water and carbon dioxide. Diesel engines burn the fuel very slightly more efficiently and emit very slightly less greenhouse gases than a car with a petrol engine.
    BUT, diesel exhaust also contains MORE poisonous oxides of nitrogen plus microscopic particles of carbon soot, which trigger heart attacks, strokes, asthma and other nasty medical conditions; as well as absorbing heat when floating in the atmosphere and causing global warming. Diesel exhaust also causes killer smogs.
    As a result of the Blair regime’s “dash for diesel”, fuelled by lower vehicle taxes, British people are dying prematurely of diseases caused by diesel pollution, and the country faces being fined by the EU for failing to meet the EU’s arbitrary maximum permitted air pollution levels.

Thought for the Day

You get home, it’s dark and the light doesn’t come on. Is that because:
(a) There’s only you there and you need to switch the light on yourself?
(B) Omnipresent God is there but not choosing to give you a helping hand?
    If the light never switches on of its own accord, the smart money goes on (a).

Don’t you really hate . . .

Scots who labour tirelessly to portray all members of their nationality as mean-spirited, grasping, small-minded, anti-English to a sociopathic degree and bigoted in the extreme – attributes which most definitely DO NOT apply to my Scottish relatives and friends.

Problem solved

The Trivial Democrats have promised to alleviate London’s housing shortage. But how many spare rooms do 8 MPs have?

A point missed

Nothing seems to upset right-on lefties more than people laughing at the political ineptitude of their current hero, Jeremy Corbyn. “What about Cameron?” they fire back, as if that’s an argument. “Nobody cares if your joke is better than someone else’s,” the humourless gits needs to be told. “Because in the final analysis, they’re both still jokes.”

Rewards for unskilled labour

He’s never done any of the intermediate or upper level jobs in Parliament but J. Corbyn has suddenly copped for a pay rise of £58,000, a posh car with chauffeur and fistfuls more cash going into his pension fund and out of the taxpayer’s pocket. Not bad for a bloke who doesn’t know what he’s doing and who’s having to make it up as he goes along.

Comrade Corbyn, man of mystery

Too miserable to sing the words of the national anthem at a Battle of Britain memorial event (or maybe he doesn’t know them?), offering unlimited benefits for all in his manifesto and a willingness to print as much money as is needed to pay them, a staunch republican who’s not afraid to compromise his principles to become a Right Hon. by joining the Privy Council, maybe the man who will play a leading role in the campaign to ditch the EU against the wishes of his party, and probably one of the most boring people on the planet if all he ever thinks about is politics. It’s a fair old mixture.

Talking up a fiasco

Germany, with a falling population, has room for migrants, which led the chancellor, Angular Merkel, into trying to go one up on everyone else by opening the nation’s doors. Alas, the wheels came off the political cheap trick very quickly and the doors have had to be slammed again when the gush became a tsunami.
    Better luck with the next gimmick, Ange.

Wither Labour? Or there are many ways to skin a Corbyn.

Has the Labour party committed political suicide? Or its latest leadership contest just a version of the old political trick of doing something totally crazy in the expectation that when you do something half-crazy, everyone will assume that you’ve grown up and that you have shed your craziness?

Whither Democracy?

It seems there are a number of people around who think that if everything isn’t being run according to their agenda, then Democracy has gone down the plughole. But what’s so great about a system based on bandwagons populated by largely uninformed masses and self-interest groups? Especially when they have a history of doing something really stoopid every so often.

The price of treachery

What do traitors deserve most? Obliteration with an expensive missile? Having to listen to Jeremy Corbyn for a couple of days whilst he explains why it is okay for British citizens to go off and fight for our country’s enemies? Or being hanged, drawn and quartered before a fee-paying audience to help reduce the national debt?

Business as usual in the NFL

Despite a monumental expenditure of sound & futy, Mr. Brady was filling the No. 12 jersey for the New England Patriots in their season opener against the Pittsburgh Steelers. But no doubt the lawyers made a few bob out of the Deflategate fiasco, so all is well with the world.
    Meanwhile, the management of the NFL is left with about as much credibility as that of FIFA, the FIA, the IAAF, etc. etc.

The world is full of nazis (with a small “n”)

We’re now used to the Scotsnazis, whose rabid hatred for the English amounts almost to mental illness. Now, we have a new breed: Feminazis, who draw the attention of mere males to glammed up pictures of themselves on anti-social meeja websites in the hope of receiving a compliment, which will allow them to throw a monumental pretend strop and play the sexism card.
    If the human race was created in the image of its god, then he or she must be a real weirdo!

Against at any price?

After the announcement that a British terrorist has been killed by an RAF drone strike in Syria, because he was plotting murder here, a CND mouthpiece declared that our PM is claiming the right to kill British citizens who have travelled abroad. Which raises the question of whether her failure to add: “and plot to murder other British citizens in Britain” was an oversight. Or is she just so anti-Tory that she’s prepared to use any old excuse to try to put a Conservative government in the wrong, no matter how vile the cause she is then seen to embrace?

How come you not know this?

There was a young lady on TV at lunchtime; well, I assume it was a young lady as she was all done up in black robes with a hood and a face-mask. She said she was a British girl but she was getting hostility from people when she went out in her mainly white area. But if she really is British, she should know that dressing up like a black pillar box with just your eyes showing is something that people do in Saudi Arabia and other places where women are supposed to be neither seen nor heard. In Britain, we distrust hoodies and people wearing masks – except for Batman and the Lone Ranger (and maybe not even those two).

Nanny knows best? Really?

The latest leak from the bowels of the Scottish government is that it has drawn up a plan to ban people from owning domestic washing machines and dishwashers and force everyone to lug their washing and dishes to public washeries fitted with super-efficient appliances. No surprise that the pay-as-you-wash scheme was concocted in the name of saving the planet.

Today’s Clerihew Plus

Hammer film vampire Ingrid Pitt
Could get out of her kit
With astonishing speed
When the director felt the need.
But her act never contained crudity;
Just gratuitous feminine nudity.

Where the blame lies

We’ve heard a lot of emotional blackmail over the Syrian child, who was found drowned on a Turkish beach. But was it the fault of the British government, as the Labour leadership hopefuls would have us believe? Or was it the fault of the grief-stricken father, who put his family in peril on a flimsy boat and got them all killed?

Are they listening, though?

I was pleasantly surprised to see how many people were laying into the IndyCar mob on their InYerFacebuk page over the double-points farce, which deprived Montoya of a second win. It’s a stupid, Mickey Mouse idea for both Indianapolis and the last race of the season. And why did it have to be at boring Sonoma? They did it for the money, I suppose.

The no good and the not-at-all great

Is there anybody working in the charity sector who is a decent human being? After the scandals of selling names to racketeers, and phone and email badgering, and stalking donors to guess what their estate will be worth, one dreads to speculate what the Daily Mail will turn up next.