Political newsflash

If elected, the Green Party will promote research into ways to increase the rate of spontaneous human combustion as a means of reducing the British population to a level which can be sustained by the de-industrialized, motor car-free society, which they hope to create.

A dose of reality

Anyone who claims he can control the Earth’s climate by messing about with carbon dioxide emissions is laughable? insane? crooked? Probably all three. And has anyone reading this ever been consulted about what he or she wants the state of our climate to be after it’s been changed?
    No, I thought not.

Put some life in it!

The election campaign is full of grey, dull characters. What we need to do is attach pointless slogans to the main players to make them more interesting. Like: Ed Miliband – the man who put the ”anal” in root canal.

Now, we know

It’s official! The Chilcot whitewash on the 2003 illegal Iraq war will not be published until after Tony B. Liar has blagged certificates from 4 doctors claiming that he has dementia.

Appreciation needed

When you’re out in your garden, do you ever take a moment to wave at the satellite Eye In The Sky network, which is photographing every square inch of the planet 24-hours a day on behalf of the US government?

Brilliant Idea

The next government should pass a law obliging all offence junkies to obtain treatment – at their own expense – to enable them to exist in our society without constantly seeking sources of outrage. Whilst this will cause a lot of damage to the political Rent-A-Gob industry, not to mention the racialism and diversity exploitation industries, it will be worth it.

Totally useless

The mayor of Tower Hamlets in London has been sacked and disqualified from public political life for 5 years for a whole range of offences. Was it the Electoral Commission and the local police which exposed his electoral fraud, which the judge described as on an industrial scale? No, it was all down to the efforts of four private citizens, who risked huge legal penalties if they failed to win their case. Which leaves the rest of us asking why we pay the stooges in office good money for doing bugger all.
    Even worse, the bloke who took over from the disgraced and displaced mayor, same surname but no relation, is claiming Lutfur Rahman did nothing wrong, playing the race card as shamelessly as his predecessor and claiming that there is deep-seated racialism in the borough. Yes, and it’s all down to the people who keep playing the race card, mate.

Explanation, please

Given that the Greens want to turn Britain into a sort of mediaeval paradise with no big companies, and no polluting industry and motor vehicles, perhaps we should be told how they plan to kill 40-50 million people and dispose of the bodies to get the population down to a level which their paradise can sustain.

Bragging Rights Fight?

The day before yesterday, Alex Salmonella, the Ayatollah of the Scottish National Socialist Party, was claiming he would be writing Labour’s budget after the election. Yesterday, it was the turn of Red Len McCluskey, the kommissar of the union Unite (and go out on strike) to claim that he would be pushing Red Ed’s buttons. So, put them in a steel cage and who would come out the winner of a fight to the finish?

That’s a lot of years!

The British trader, who is accused of triggering a brief £570 BILLION collapse in US share prices from his suburban semi in Hounslow, has been told that he faces 380 years in gaol if extradited and convicted. So no wonder the authorities are hoping to confiscate the £27 million, which he is believed to have made out of similar tricks over the last 5 years, to pay the imprisonment costs. And for the taxidermist, of course.

Labour Weaponizes the NHS

The Care Quality Commission, which is supposed to be the NHS watchdog, is embarrassed to admit that it participated in a stitch-up of the first privately run hospital in the NHS. Hitchingbrooke hospital, privatized by the Brown Regime, was placed in special measures after it was suddenly declared inadequate after a long string of positive reports.
    Four months later, the CQC has been forced to admit that the inspection which resulted in the damning report was rigged by Labour party activists and trade unionists opposed to privatization. The CQC also ignored a later, more positive report on the hospital in its rush to make a political point.

Just a minor detail

The Scottish National Socialist Party is making a very modest demand for putting Red Ed in Downing Street. Just the odd £148 BILLION from English taxpayers and, of course, a veto on anything the Gnats don’t like.

Totally useless

Having wasted £20 million on persecuting journalists who exposed dodgy doings after buying information from public officials in the public interest, the Can’t Prosecute Service has abandoned the crusade, more or less. But hey, it was only taxpayers’ money which paid for the lefty luvvie show trials, and there’s lots of that sloshing about.

Depends who’s counting

Was the audience for the 5 minor-party leader dog and pony show on the BBC politically balanced? Over half of them were self-confessed lefties and 20% were “undecideds” So balanced only by BBC standards.

Don’t expect them to do anything useful for their pay

Does nothing work in the public sector? We have an Electoral Commission, which can’t register people who are entitled to vote, and a Boundaries Commission, which is a society for the preservation of Labour rotten boroughs, which build an unfair Labour bias into the electoral system.

Delay, delay, delay

The Can’t Prosecute Service’s solution to the Establishment’s suspected paedophiles is now clear. The Cyril Smiths and Lord Janners will be protected by cover-ups until they croak or go doolally. Not much to do with justice but it spares the taxpayer the cost of a trial and locking up the monsters.

No, thanks

Where were the Looney Eds, Miliband and Balls, when Wee Gordie Broon was plunging the British economy into a HUGE Brown Hole and getting into bed with the crooks running the banks? They were on the payroll as “financial advisors”.
    Letting this pair of comedians, with their established track record for fiscal incompetence, get their hands on the economy again would be as sensible as putting a serial firebug in charge of a fuel dump.

Good day for British motorsport

Lewis Hamilton enjoyed a straightforward win in China. Then came the real highlights of the day. Danny Kent won the Moto3 race at the Circuit of the Americas in Austin, Texas. Then Sam Lowes, despite horrible crashes in practice, did the same in the Moto2 race. Shame that Bradley Smith and Cal Crutchlow couldn’t manage better than 6th and 7th in the MotoGP, but they don’t have the bikes to challenge Marquez and Rossi and the Ducatis.

The things they say in films

I’m not sure if I heard this right, but some guy in a routine action film seemed to say: “My patience is losing weight.” Which seems to me to be quite a distinctive and unusual way of putting it.

Not bovvered

Do we care if Princess Bea, Prince Andrew’s daughter, has enjoyed 11 holidays in the last 6 months? Despite the Daily Disaster’s best efforts to whip us into a frenzy of indignation, the response remains a yawn.

None here, either

In case anyone’s interested, the reported lack of party political signboards in people’s gardens is also evident around the Mansion. It seems to be true that the election campaign is being conducted on TV and behind closed doors, with only the party line coming out. Apart from the usual leaks, of course.

Mr. Liar has a point . . .

. . . when he says the British public can’t be trusted to vote the right way. After all, they did make a war-monger and swindler their prime monster not once, not twice, but three times.

What have you got yourself into, Ed?

Tony B. Liar thinks the people can’t be trusted with democracy.
Red Ed invited the old fraud into his election campaign, thinking it would do him some good.
Gulp! Does this mean that Red Ed is thinking what Mr. Liar is thinking? Or is Ed “I’m not Tony B. Liar*” Milipede just too out of touch with reality to see that Mr. Liar is treating as just another useful idiot?

* 2011 Labour party conference

A new national holiday

We all know that there are gangs of lefty luvvies all over the place, who feel their day has been wasted if they are not shocked and offended by at least half a dozen imaginary slights to their involuntary client groups. So let’s be nice to them. Let’s have a National Lefty Luvvie Day and on that day, let us all go out of our way to offend Leftie Luvvies as many times as we can manage.

Something worth re-quoting!

“The Lord will provide.”
    “Oh, great. I’ll just sit here and wait for that to happen.”
“The Lord helps those who help themselves.”
    “Oh, great. I do all the work and she claims all the credit. Or was that incitement to go out shoplifting? I just don’t get this religion stuff.”

More of the same

Black people hadn’t been invented in the 1950s, as far as the British military establishment was concerned; except in subordinate roles. James Bond goes back to a time when black people were rarities in Britain and not members of the establishment. So Ian Fleming didn’t have to describe Bond as white because that was the norm for secret agents. If Fleming had wanted a black Bond, he’d have specified one because it would have been extraordinary and worthy of mention.
    Calling a black actor James Bond in the name of diversity and political correctness is worthy of derision. One would hope that the actor being touted for the part would have sufficient self-respect to see that the PC mob is trying to exploit him.
    Wot next? Make Othello Chinese? Othello, the warlord of Wong Shur? Felix the cat played by a dog? Miss Marple rewritten for an 11-year-old computer kid, who’s noted for his bad attitue?
    This diversity crap is just intellectual laziness of the sort that wished Fast & Furious 7 on the world. Don’t create anything new because that involves hard work. Just recycle existing stuff endlessly.
    Plain pre-thetic!

No foolin’

Red Ed thinks that the next James Bond should be a one-legged, albino, lesbian transvestite “in the interests of equality”. Which is exactly what you’d expect from an out-of-touch Hampstead Hypocrite, who doesn’t realize that a character from books written 60 years ago doesn’t fall within the remit of his diversity crap.