Trust, but not as we know it, Jim!

The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority wants to draw a veil of secrecy over investigations of MPs suspected of expenses fraud to avoid reputational damage to the guilty. Which suggests that an investigation of the sanity and competence of the members of the Authority, and the people who appointed them, is long overdue.

Crisis? Really?

A minor Tory minister – no one anyone’s ever heard of – resigns after doing a Captain Underpants on the internet after being bamboozled by the Sunday Mirror. Crisis Rating – zero.

Mark Reckless, Tory MP for Rochester & Stroud, goes UKIP with reckless abandon and threatens a by-election on the eve of the Tory conference. But as he has a long history of not agreeing with Dave the Leader and the whips, Crisis Rating – zero.

Miliband’s convenient forgetfulness

Red Ed forgot to mention the deficit in his major speech to the Labour party conference? Not using notes is a very handy, but not at all credible, alibi.

Labour will save the NHS?

If you want to know what a Labour government will really do to the NHS, as opposed to what Red Ed and his stooges are claiming, just look at the mess Labour has made of it in Wales.

Burnham hypocrisy

Andy Burnham, that’s the Labour stooge who’s promising to save the NHS from Tory privatization? Does he think we’ve forgotten that he let the private sector bid for NHS contracts when he was Health Secretary at a time when his ministerial colleagues were selling their influence in exchange for 6-figure salaries with the private companies concerned?And does he think we don’t remember how he and New Labour brought in a culture of targets and rank bad management, which killed people at Stafford hospital and elsewhere?

Something to look forward to

Red Ed’s 10-year plan for re-wrecking the economy, and Balls’ Tesco accounting and failure to admit his part in wrecking the economy when he was New Labour, and Tony B. Liar’s plan to send troops to fight the BBC’s militants in Syria and Iraq, and people who aren’t working class being put to the bottom of the list of applicants for public sector jobs unless their name is Miliband, Blair, Straw, Kinnock, etc. etc.
    But there is some good news: Two Jags wants to repeal the Breakfast Tax.

Maybe Mantel is not totally to blame for her crankiness

Hilary Mantel is on a peculiar attention-seeking kick with her theGrauniad-fuelled fantasies about murdering Margaret Thatcher, the only effective prime minister in the 2nd half of the 20th century. But she revealed, in an article in the Daily Mail, that she suffered from polymyalgia for a number of years. This distressing condition shrinks the muscles, saps strength and makes every movement painful. So it is possible that being in constant pain for an extended period of time has left her cranky and unbalanced her sense of proportion.

Why do so many Scots hate the English?

The referendum campaign triggered a torrent of bile, which appears to have been fuelled by guilt. The Scots know that they are subsidy junkies, and they feel guilty about it, and they blame the English for their guilt and their addiction.
    The remedy is clear: cut off the subsidies and let the Scots regain their dignity be being obliged to pay their own way. Maybe, if they do receive a dignity transplant, they will regain a measure of pride and lose some guilt and hatred for their neighbours and benefactors.

The Unacceptable Spendthrift

“All bribes offered to the Scots during the end of the referendum campaign will be paid.” Typical Gordon Brown – he’s a world champion at glad-handing with other people’s money.

Yep, that’s true.

Why do politicians always blame the previous government for the shambolic state of the nation? Because politicians are great at causing disasters and crap at putting things right.

Just a thought . . .

In the unlikely event of the Scots choosing to abandon the gravy train of English subsidies, is there any chance of making them pay the entire cost of separating themselves from the UK if it was their idea to do so?

It’s self-evident!

Of course, the Yes campaign in the Scottish referendum is based on lies. It’s being run by politicians.

Not Even A Paper Tiger

The boy Milibandit has sworn to “rip up the whole British constitution” if Scotland votes NO in the referendum. Maybe someone should mention to him that we don’t actually have a written constitution for him to do his circus strongman act on.

Dodgy vs Dodgier

The Gnats, strangers to the truth themselves, are moaning that the BBC is doing biased coverage of the Yes referendum campaign. But it would be remarkable only if the Beeb wasn’t showing bias, given its institutional Looney Left leanings. And the Gnats must be particularly dim if they haven’t spotted that Nick Robinson, the alleged political correspondent, is a Labour party apologist.

After they’ve gone

When Scotland leaves us, will we become Less Britain rather than Great Britain?

Trapped!!

If Scotland becomes a country in its own right, airliners will not be able to leave its airspace, and aircraft from abroad will not be able to enter it, until Scotland has negotiated a deal with other aviating nations. Which means that Mr. Salmond won’t be able to fly to Greece to find out how a scrounger economy works.

Come Referendum Day

Will police officers be posted at Scottish polling stations to prevent intimidation and vote-rigging? And can they be trusted to do the job they’re paid for?

SNP reveals fascist credentials

Any business in Scotland which backs the NO vote will be nationalized/boycotted by the Gnats? So much for the democratic right to choose.

Even more reasons for the Scots to vote YES!!

The cost of postage in England and Wales will fall if Scottish subsidies are removed. So will the price of food in supermarkets. And Scottish athletes will no longer be entitled to train in England at English taxpayers’ expense.

Brilliant idea!

It has been suggested that, following on from the sex offenders’ register, there should be one for useless public servants, like those who covered up child abuse in Islington, Rochdale, Rotherham and elsewhere, and also for those who wasted huge amounts of taxpayers’ cash on things like failed public sector IT systems.

Is there anything Salmond hasn’t lied about?

Jobs: Banks and other big companies plan to move to England if Scotland votes Yes.
Currency: Scotland can use the pound but it won’t get any guarantees from the Bank of England and it will have no say on interest rates.
Oil: His story about a huge underestimate of reserves is fantasy says the industry, including the bosses of Shell & BP.
Banking: A Scottish government will have to find £130 billion to guarantee savers’ deposits.
The Health Service: Privatization scares are just more Salmond lies/propaganda/fantasy.

More reasons for the Scots to vote YES!!

1. The rump of the UK will be entitled to a 9% reduction in its contribution to the EU after the Scots leave the Union!
2. The average life expectancy in the rump will go up if the Scots log out on the Union.

Salmond’s Law

The higher the Yes lobby gets in the polls, the lower the £ and share prices sink and the bigger the bribe Gordon Brown offers to the Scots out of other people’s pockets.

At last, a good reason to vote YES!!

If it happens, there will never again be a Looney Left Labour government in England!!

It’s what they do

Setting Scotland up as an independent country will waste billions of pounds of taxpayers’ money. But wasting other people’s money is never a problem for politicians hoping to grab a slice of the pie for themselves.

7 points at a time, if necessary

Here’s hoping that Lewis Hamilton’s win in the Italian GP is the start of a trend. There’s plenty of the season to wrap up the title, and plenty of opportunities for more things to go horribly wrong with his car. Rosberg’s trips up the escape road at the chicane were very rookie mistakes.

Sadly, Yobs Do Rule

It’s a great shame that Scotland is allowing ill-mannered separatists to rampage unchecked and use extremist tactics against anyone who dares to suggest that they’d be worse off if they left the Union. Smear campaigns by the Gnats are par for the course, just following the Labour tradition, but the equivalent of Brownshirts running riot shouldn’t be.
    No doubt there will be riots and looting when the referendum vote goes against the terrorist faction, and demands for an EU-style re-run until the people vote the right way. But hey, maybe we can persuade President O’Bummer to divert a couple of drones from Iraq to bomb the jihadists in Scotland a bit.

Typical New Labour Copper

H. Orde, the president of ACPO, is nailing his political colours to the mast with his pop at HM Inspectorate of Constabulary’s report, which exposed the police practice of telling people to investigate their own crimes. Orde blames non-policing on “government cuts” without mentioning that there’s no money because Labour wasted it all and drove the country deep into debt. And he also fails to mention that the police can always find plenty of resources for things like putting 20 coppers around the embassy of Ecuador in case J. Assange pokes his nose out, sending a gang of coppers to spend 5 hours rummaging around at Sir Cliff Richard’s home and attempting to fit up stars of yesteryear on molestation charges for which there is no evidence. Further, all 43 police services in England and Wales had their budget reduced, but 6 of them actually manage to do the job they’re paid for. Maybe Orde should be finding out what they’re doing right and passing it on to the rest of the Cheap Police Officers represented by his Association.

No getting away from it

If you put all the money in the world into one bank and gave everyone an account with an equal share of the pot, what would happen?
    The feckless would dash off and spend theirs, then come back with their hands out. The prudent would spend some and stash the rest. The crooks would fill their boots. Entrepreneurs would start making (and losing) fortunes. The middle men would be skimming like mad and the politicians would have their noses in the trough.
    And in the end, there would be mega-rich, endemic poor and lots of people somewhere in the middle. Coz that’s the way that ’uman nature works.

Oh, dear!

The new school curriculum, which emphasizes good grammar and the use of punctuation, is likely to be sabotaged by defective teachers, many of whom never learnt to do either at school thanks to trendy lefty teaching notions pushed by the anti-education teaching unions.

Plain puzzled

You have to wonder about the time sense of our alleged deity. The “breath of life” was administered 13.7 BILLION years ago, when this incarnation of the universe Big Banged into existence. Then nothing until about 10,000 years ago, when human beans became organized enough to indulge in mass grovelling before hypothetical deities.
    So what was Big G doing for the best part of 13,700,000,000 years? Computer games and DVDs hadn’t been invented and there was no one else to talk to. And why 13.7 billion years between the breath of live and organized worship? Did Big G have to go and do some shopping for his mum in a parallel dimension, where 13,700,000,000 years in our terms seem like a couple of hours?
    There’s a lot about this religion stuff that doesn’t add up.

Unwelcome trend

The parents of a dying child take him out of hospital and exercise their right to seek treatment elsewhere. The next thing they know, they’re in gaol because the police issued an international arrest warrant on spurious child endangerment grounds. So their Spanish lawyer starts talking about sueing the police and the hospital. Both legal actions sound richly deserved but the guilty will escape punishment and the British taxpayer will end up shoving cash into the pockets of lawyers again.

Unfair question

Labour’s shadow business secretary, Chunky Umunna, has been derided for not knowing the price of a first-class stamp. But he’s an MP, so he never has to buy one. He just gets one of his minions to put envelopes through the franking machine in his office and lets the taxpayer pay.